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A podcast for women doing a lot and craving more soul alignment — motherhood, business, healing, relationships, growth — trying to do it without running themselves into the ground.
We talk about:
* intuition & energy
* nervous system regulation
* trauma healing
* self-compassion
* emotional processing
* entrepreneurship
* motherhood
* creating routines that actually support you
* staying connected to yourself while juggling real life
This is about learning how to feel energized, grounded, cared for, emotionally honest, and fully alive.
Your soul called - are you ready to answer?
Welcome to Your Soul Called. A podcast for those feeling like there's something more. More alignment, more purpose, more peace, more connection, more joy. I'm Nicole your host. Each week we explore the invisible things that shape our lives.
Nicole:Our intuition, our energy, our emotions and the lessons we came here to learn. Through personal stories, meaningful conversations and practical tools my hope is that every episode helps you trust yourself a little bit more, love yourself a little deeper and remember something your soul has always known. Without further ado let's dive in! Hi everyone! Welcome to episode 10.
Nicole:Today's episode is titled the permission you've been waiting for so this morning I was trying to think about what I could share with you guys and I opened up one of my old journals from 2019. I've been on this self growth exploration journey for decades this is something I've always been really into and sometimes I like to look back on my old journals to kind of see where I was and how far I've come and it was so interesting because I wasn't really expecting much I was just kind of curious to see how my life had changed and instead I met this version of myself that I can remember but I'm just like so far from it now and I thought it was so interesting and I wanted to share with you like how I got to where I am now and what that journey has been like and basically where I was at in case there are any of you that are in this place right now where you are waiting for permission to step into the fullness of who you are. I'm going to read you a little bit from my journal in 2019.
Nicole:It's kind of depressing. I am tired and sad. I don't feel very good at this life and I'm exhausted. I don't feel important or even here I feel lost. There is so much to do.
Nicole:I can't even begin to do any of it. My house is a disaster. I am a mess too. I am so tired and lost. I am not being a good mom, a good wife, anything.
Nicole:And I am tired. Tired of trying. Tired of pretending to be. I'm searching for approval I don't even believe I deserve. And there is another one where it starts off I feel overwhelmed, exhausted, heavy, sad, burnt out.
Nicole:I feel like the world is so heavy and I'm the only one holding it together. I feel like I need space, time, room to breathe and I feel it in my throat and in my face and inside of my cheeks. I feel like I get judged for complaining or for not being happy and for feeling exhausted. But it's so hard to be happy. I feel like it's all on me.
Nicole:The schedules, the organizing, the house, the caretaking, the meals, the vacuuming, the cleaning, the toilets, the folding, laundry, all the stuff, the bills, the making money, the face timing parents, the sending out packages, the handling endless stuff that nobody else sees, nobody else gets, and nobody else values. These journals, they kind of just went on like that and they were like depressing. I told you depressing. You know that's where I was in my life back then and I look back and I'm like oh my gosh this was a new mom who had three little boys ages three four and six who was running two businesses and from the outside it looked like she had together like she had everything she wanted the house, the family, the business but page after page I kept writing the same thing I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I don't feel very good at this life, I don't feel important. I'm searching for approval I don't even believe I deserve.
Nicole:And then I would list all the roles that I carried the maid, the organizer, the scheduler, the bill payer, the cook, the cleaner, the caretaker the one making sure everyone else was okay. And then there was one sentence that stopped me in my tracks. It said, My time isn't important. Reading those words, I have so much compassion for that version of me. She wasn't lazy, she wasn't failing, she wasn't weak.
Nicole:She was trying to earn rest. And she believed that once all the work was finished, once the house was clean, once the kids were taken care of, once all the laundry was done, once she made enough money, once everybody else and everything else was taken care of and everyone else was happy then she could finally rest. Then she could finally breathe. Then maybe she could do something for herself. Maybe somebody would acknowledge her.
Nicole:Right? But do you see the problem in all of this that list it it never ends it goes on and on and on and on and on and there's always going to be more things there's always going to be another load of laundry another email to respond to another meal to cook another person to take care of, another goal to achieve, another appointment, another relationship that needs fixing, thing that needs to be completed. If you spend your life waiting for permission to rest, then your entire life is spent waiting. You get resentful and trust me there are plenty of journal entries here where I was being resentful of mostly of my husband which was totally unwarranted but it was because I didn't know how to take care of and prioritize myself And if I'm being really honest I could tell like during this time what I was craving so badly was just for someone to notice. For someone to see all that I was doing.
Nicole:For someone to say out loud I see you. You're doing enough. Sit down. I've got you. You matter too.
Nicole:I wasn't just waiting for help. I was waiting for permission. For someone to tell me, It's okay to stop. It's okay to rest. It's okay to take care of yourself.
Nicole:Permission to matter. The heartbreaking part is that permission it never came there was never a time where you know someone was gonna tell me okay you've done enough today you can sit down now you can go buy yourself a Starbucks you can go get your nails done I was craving that so bad that I worked harder and harder and harder and I gave more and I carried more and I became more resentful. Somehow even though I was doing everything for everyone else I felt less and less and less like myself. I lost myself for a good amount of time there while my kids were little because I was trying to handle it all without complaining. I would complain in my journal but I wouldn't really complain out loud but you could see it all over my face like how exhausted I was and you know looking back now I don't judge that version of myself I love her so much she was doing the best that she could with what she knew at the time but here's what she didn't know she thought love was something she had to earn She thought rest was a reward for productivity.
Nicole:She thought her value came from how much she could carry, what she achieved, how much she did, her results. But her value was always inside of her. She didn't know how to create safety within herself. She didn't know how to acknowledge herself. She never acknowledged herself.
Nicole:She didn't know how to say I've done enough today. Amazing job, Nicole. You did such a good job. I'm so proud of you. She never said things like that.
Nicole:She didn't know that when she started valuing her own time, started prioritizing herself, started putting herself first, other people would begin to do that too. Her bucket would start feeling full and when she had a full bucket she would have so much more to give and from such a more loving place. When her bucket was full she would become a better mom, better wife, a better friend. She would feel more herself, more connected, more in alignment with who her soul really was. She didn't know that every time she abandoned herself to keep everybody else comfortable to fix everything and everyone around her she was teaching the people around her that she would always come last that she was always going to handle everything.
Nicole:She had created this life that looked beautiful on the outside picture perfect Christmas cards but inside she felt like it could all collapse at any moment She was exhausted. I can remember that feeling pretty clearly because that was my life for years. I think so many women can relate to that we feel like we have to handle it all we feel like we're waiting for someone to give us permission to rest and not just women but like parents in general we're just working and working and working and taking care of everything else and everyone else and we don't give ourselves permission to rest permission to say no to say no I'm not gonna do that potluck this week I'm not gonna go to that game today because we just want to hang out and go to the beach We're not giving ourselves permission to ask for help. Back then I didn't ask for help from anyone ever. I didn't think that was something I could do.
Nicole:But now I'm like no, I can't do this by myself. I need help cleaning the house. I need help doing the yard. I need help, you know, doing all the things that keep this house moving and I'm not afraid to ask for it. Back then I needed permission to spend money on myself.
Nicole:I didn't feel comfortable even buying myself a coffee because that was a waste of money but you are never a waste! Filling your bucket is so important making sure that you feel full that you feel cared for that you feel special there's nothing that compares to that because when you fill up your bucket and you feel full you have so much more to give to the world. Everyone benefits. Back then, I didn't give myself permission to leave the job, to change, permission to dream, permission to disappoint someone, permission to choose myself. But here's the thing, what if nobody ever gives you that permission?
Nicole:What if you're waiting and waiting and waiting for someone to acknowledge you, for someone to see you, for someone to give you permission to choose yourself, to sit down, to rest, to say you did enough today, but nobody's gonna ever give that to you. Not because you haven't earned it. That is like completely separate. Like, of course you're deserving of it. Of course you are.
Nicole:You were born special. You don't need to earn it. It's not because you ever needed to earn it in the first place. It's just who you are. It's your birthright.
Nicole:You deserve to be prioritized, to feel special, to feel cared for. Nobody's going to give that to you except yourself. So if there's any one thing you take away from this episode let it be this notice where you're waiting for someone to validate what your soul already knows Where are you waiting to be chosen instead of choosing yourself? Where are you waiting to be seen instead of seeing yourself? Because the moment you stop waiting for permission, you become the person who gives it to yourself that changes everything because once you start giving your per yourself permission to do all the things you want to care for yourself to prioritize yourself to to matter.
Nicole:Permission to matter. Permission to acknowledge your feelings. Permission to care for yourself in the way that you need caring. In the way that only you know how to care for yourself, to give yourself what you need, to say no to those things you don't want to do, to dream the dream that you want to dream, to step into the life that you know you deserve. Once you start giving yourself permission to do these things, it's going to change everything and it only needs to start in very small little ways.
Nicole:But it comes from inside. It's not an outside thing. Back in 2019 I was thinking that I needed this permission from everyone around me. I needed someone else to acknowledge I was doing a good job. I needed someone else to acknowledge I had done enough.
Nicole:I needed someone else to tell me I could rest. I needed someone else to tell me it's okay for me to say no to this thing that I don't want to do. It's okay for me to not carry a thousand things on my shoulders. It's okay for me to like put myself first because I just need it this week no other reason I'm not doing any of that other shit I just don't want to do it this week I'm gonna put myself first I needed someone to give me permission to do that nobody was ever going to do that but once I started giving it to myself everything changed. So this week I want to give you a little assignment I want to give you permission to put yourself first to prioritize yourself.
Nicole:I'm going to give you two little homework number one: I want you to ask yourself every day this week for one whole week ask yourself what do I need today? Then I want you to prioritize yourself. Do one thing for yourself something that you want something that makes your soul happy something that makes your heart glow something that's just for you. This could be as simple as getting yourself a nice coffee in the morning before you take care of anyone else. This could be as simple as taking a dunk in the ocean because that makes you feel good.
Nicole:For no other reason except it's just for you to make your heart happy. This could be giving yourself an extra nice massage as you're washing your hair because it feels good to you. Ask yourself what do I need today? And do one thing a day to prioritize yourself. Here's your second part two of the homework assignment: I want you to acknowledge yourself to see yourself daily one time a day for one minute look into your eyes in the mirror and see the version of yourself who is trying so hard trying to do everything for everyone see her or him see that version of yourself and really really see her acknowledge her love her tell her she's enough more than enough you will see the pupils of your eyes change when you start to feel seen when you start to feel acknowledged.
Nicole:Tell her you're proud of her. Tell her there's nothing else she has to do. Tell her you see how hard she's been trying. One minute. That's it.
Nicole:One minute a day look into your eyes in the mirror and see the version of yourself that is trying so hard see you acknowledge yourself do it for a minute a day do it for one week so the two things remember number one ask yourself what do I need today? What do I need today? Very simple question and then do one thing to prioritize yourself. Two. Look into your eyes one minute a day and just see yourself, acknowledge yourself, tell her you're so proud of her, tell her she's enough.
Nicole:That's it! So I know these things these are simple practices stuff I do all the time and stuff that has made a huge difference in my life because I can barely relate to this girl from '20 19 who felt so tired, so exhausted. Yes, I still feel like there's a lot going on but I don't carry all that anymore. I know that I need to prioritize myself that I need to put myself first that my you know how I feel matters that what I want matters that who I am matters and that's something that I didn't know back then and something that I want everyone to experience. So that's what I have for you guys today I hope you take this seriously and do the homework because it's so simple literally take you like five minutes or less and it will change your life.
Nicole:Alright guys have a great weekend I will see you next week bye for now!