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For so many modern, driven women, life is about being more than one thing. We’re multidimensional—and so are our conversations. We carry multiple identities; we can be both mother and artist; both attorney and entrepreneur. Both clinician and CEO. Both humble and proud. Life for women like us is about both. About…all of the above. It’s about the “and”...
105_MoneyCanMakeUHappy
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the And She Spoke podcast. I'm Jeni Barcelos and I'm joined with my co-host Sandy Connery. Hey, Sandy. Hi Jeni. We are talking about money today. Our favorite subject. Yes,
[00:00:16] Yeah, so we kind of love talking about money. It's our favorite thing to talk about. There's this saying that's like, money can't make you happy. Yeah, that's not true. . And I think, like I've had that said to me so many times and I'm like, yeah, true. Yeah, no, I get money won't actually make you happy and then in my head, but like it'll make it a hell of a lot easier, you know?
[00:00:42] And my family says that a lot. Money's great, but it won't make you happy. And I think we wanted to talk about like, Pose that like, just pause for a second. Like, what if that's actually not true? What if it does make you happy? Not to say that if you don't [00:01:00] have money, like you can be happy. You can't be.
[00:01:05] Yeah. Yeah. It's right. It doesn't only go one way. Right. You can be, have no money and be happy, but Right. Also, if you had money, I think it makes you happy. It can make you happy. Happy make you happy. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, yes. Okay. So I just wanna say that that whole money doesn't make you happy. Thing is a lie perpetuated by the top 1% to try to keep the people down, right?
[00:01:28] So, fyi, that's my fundamental belief about that. But also I, you know what? I think that money is just a tool, right? It's energy. And so it depends on who you are and how you use it. . If you love using tools and you have visions for how to use the tool and the, and using the tool makes you happy, then sure it can make you happy.
[00:01:48] Heck yeah, just like. If you're a kid and you have more candy, you're gonna be more happy. , it's like the same thing, like until it makes you sick , but like up until that point. Sure. Like I remember [00:02:00] trick-or-treating as a kid and the more candy, the more Halloween candy I got, the happier I was like it was a direct correlation.
[00:02:06] More Halloween candy is like, it's like power. It's because then you dump it all out and you trade for things and it's like a status and a power thing. , like, how could you say it doesn't make you happy? . Yes, but I, I just. as the the mindset person. I, I do need to say like any one thing circumstance. Okay.
[00:02:28] Yeah. Item out there. It's like your thoughts, like, I got more like, this is so fun. I, I love candy. Those are, that's actually what caused the emotion. No dollar bills or candy will actually cause in emotion. It's what we think about those things. So just getting that outta the way. Okay. Let's talk about, so it's not the Kit Cat itself, correct.
[00:02:48] All right. I'm gonna, I'm gonna think about that. Correct. That's like a deep thought, Sandy. Correct. But you had a thought like, if I have more candy, I have more training power, that makes me happy. [00:03:00] Yes, yes. Yeah. Wheeler dealer. Yeah, that's right. . Right. Okay. So we wanted to talk about 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 different.
[00:03:10] Elements, ideas, concepts around why having money makes you so happy.
[00:03:22] I feel like we're gonna get a lot of negative attention about this show, but brilliant. Let's just go for it. Let's go for it. Okay. So the first one that we came up with, and I think this is the most important one yes, is safety. Yes. Especially for people. Like US . Yes. Safety's really important and money provides a certain level of base safety.
[00:03:41] That's not ar you can't argue with. Correct. For example, our friend Kelly deals shared, um, publicly on our podcast. That's why I'm saying this. She was able with money to afford a very, very good lawyer so that she could, um, keep the, her children like [00:04:00] for custody. She was able to have custody of her children because she had money, right?
[00:04:05] Like things like that. You can, you can obviously afford a home, you can. Um, buy food. You can, you know, get safely, transport yourself around the city. Like, it is a really basic, fundamental thing that if you have money, you and your fam, you're providing safety for yourself and your family. Yeah. And, uh, so you also don't have to engage in activities that, that would be deemed mm-hmm.
[00:04:34] by you or others as unsafe in order to meet your basic human needs. Right? So like, yes, it's very much about safety and according to research that's been done, I just pulled this up, Sandy, that a recent experiment, I just see this on N B C news suggests that money can indeed by happiness, at least for six, Among households making up to $123,000 a year.
[00:04:57] So there's like a certain [00:05:00] amount, right? Like according, like I've read multiple studies like this over the years, like there's a certain amount up to which money does make you incrementally happier. Like in, apparently now it's $123,000 . Like if you don't have 123,000. All of the money leading up to $123,000 is statistically going to make you happier.
[00:05:20] I love it. And that's like, that's the evidence, right? Like according to some study. But maybe it used to be like $80,000 or something before inflation, but at some point like you need a basic amount of money to buy and support basic human needs in our society. And yes, until you're, you have those needs met, it absolutely does make you happy, right?
[00:05:42] Point one. Okay. Point one. Okay. The next point, next reason why money makes you happy is choice. It gives you choice to stay in a fantastic Mexico resort. That's, that's what I did. I'm a little [00:06:00] jealous of you about that amazing experience at this place. Mm-hmm. , it gives you choice on where you live. It gives you choice on.
[00:06:11] Um, you know, how much, like, I just think about aging parents and being able to care for them. Um, like you have the choice to do that. I dunno if there's like a thousand things at this point. You go, yeah, well, you can choose to have a house keeper so that you can reallocate all of those hours, hours to doing something else.
[00:06:29] Like beekeeping in your case. Oh yeah. Beekeeping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Yes. I have the choice to become a beekeeper because I have some money. Mm-hmm. . Yes, because you don't. Beekeeping to support you financially, right? I can follow hobbies, travel, um, because I choose to, and I have the flexibility and the money to, to, to do that.
[00:06:51] Absolutely. Mm-hmm. ? Yeah, no, I think about that. Like I watch a lot of budgeting, YouTube. . I watch a lot of YouTube. Just in general. If anyone [00:07:00] actually listens to lots and lots of episodes that once you'll hear me say, I watched this on YouTube at least once an episode, and I'm fascinated by all of these.
[00:07:08] It's all women. I've never actually seen a guy do this, like all women, like counting cash from their paychecks and like putting it into different envelopes, , and like. Much like people have to choose like, oh, I, this is, this is the envelope for my kids' sports, but this is for their piano, and I have to decide, do I put this $10 right in this envelope this week, or that envelope?
[00:07:31] When you have money, more money, you, first of all, they have the choice to be able to do something like that. Some people don't have any choices, but like when you have a little more money, you can choose, I want piano and sports, right? Like you can, like, it's just not even, you don't even have to think.
[00:07:49] making your kid choose between piano and soccer. Yeah. That's a tremendous benefit to happiness. I think like every micro decision [00:08:00] like that, even though none of those things are about large sums of money, just the choice to just de decide because there's an interest on the part of you or someone in your family to do something.
[00:08:09] Mm-hmm. , you can just do it. There's no problem. And I think this this point kind of goes between. Choice and safety. Like there's a whole element of like health, right? So for those of you in the United States who don't have socialized healthcare, oh yeah. You have the choice to, yeah. And the, the safety that that comes with to be able to pay for whatever you need or a family member, maybe it's not you, but maybe it's a child or a parent or a spouse or whatever.
[00:08:40] That is really a big deal. And even in Canada, we do have healthcare here. There are not, everything's covered. Like if you are sick, it still costs a lot of money, you know, to go to the physiotherapist or the, the part of the drugs that aren't covered or, or whatever, like it's still. It's still, you [00:09:00] know, like that is safety, to have money, to be able to keep yourself healthy and the treatments and the medicine and the, um, whatever you need.
[00:09:08] That's a really good point, Sandy. You know, I'll just tell like a personal anecdote here, and I know our listeners will have lots of these, especially those in the us but when I was in law school, my mom was diagnosed with stage four cancer and she owned her home, um, outright. So that was very lucky because we had to mortgage her home in order to pay for her treatment, and that was in a tremendously stressful process.
[00:09:34] So we had the privilege of having something that we could. You know, liquidate in order to cover her medical costs to hopefully allow her to live a little longer. Unfortunately, that didn't happen, but you know, some people would've just had the money in the bank and would never have had to take all of this like stressful action to mortgage a house to have stuff put in your own name, like all the things that my brother and I had to do.
[00:09:58] Because there was no [00:10:00] money to pay for my mom's cancer care. And then other people wouldn't have had someone with a house. Right. So then they just actually couldn't have the treatment. And so I think it's, it's, it's so much about safety and choice like that, that exact experience, like it, all of those kinds of experiences are what lead me to say very publicly that money does create happiness.
[00:10:23] Like it can, it doesn't always mm-hmm. , but it can mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . Yep. Yep. Totally agree. Okay, next one is power and influence. Well, yeah, I love power . So here's the thing. My big dream when this is all said and done and all of the companies are built and sold, is to become a philanthropist professionally.
[00:10:49] Like that's been my dream since I was really young, because I'm a weirdo. I just love the idea that I would get to have some amount of control or [00:11:00] power over what gets solved in the world or how it gets solved. Mm-hmm. , because I have the resources to do that, and I think that stems from me being an activist for a long time, working in the nonprofit space for a long time where.
[00:11:14] I had to make so many decisions in my career and on the projects I was working on that were based on what a wealthy individual or family foundation deemed worthy of spending their money on. Mm-hmm. , right? And it had nothing to do with what I as the expert thought. Mattered or where their the most leverage was.
[00:11:34] It was like a hundred percent like, oh yeah, yeah, we love you and your work, we support you, but like, here's what so-and-so wants the money to go to . So fit what you wanna do in around that. So I wanna be on the other side of that table and to me that is like the greatest. Joy that I look forward to someday so much is getting to decide, this is how we're gonna solve this problem.
[00:11:55] I'm gonna fund you and I'm gonna fund you and you're gonna do it this way, . And [00:12:00] that's my dream. And that's why I also think power and money and happiness go together. And I think a lot of women forget this or don't consider this point because our new favorite phrase is misplaced morality. Yeah. So for those of you, uh, running a business and pricing will often price really low so that we.
[00:12:18] Kind and affordable and, you know, we don't seem greedy or focused on the money. Um, but what you're missing is having the money and being able to decide what to do, um, with that money. And that may mean, you know, money towards school, your kids' school lunch programs, or a particular charity or starting something like it could be much more, um, Small scale, scale than what you are talking about, um, or allowing people who can't afford your program to come in or whatever.
[00:12:51] Like, you can't do that if you are scrambling for money yourself or panicking to pay, um, you [00:13:00] know, by lunch for your kids this week. Like, I think the power and the influence and the de I think it's like the decisions, like where does this money go? You get to decide because you own. Yeah, it's the best thing ever.
[00:13:15] I just, can, I, I only know it on a small scale, but I am looking forward to experiencing it on a big scale. And I think we all want power, but a lot of us are hesitant to admit that even to ourselves because I think we, especially as women, are thought that that's like. Negative or unladylike or unbecoming to want power, but like, just be honest with your damn self.
[00:13:40] Like, come on, like you wanna have power in your life. Like, and if you don't, then there needs to be some serious mindset work that goes on. Right. And about why that we have not been trusted with money, with decision, with power historically, for thousands of years. Like, let's just, um, you know, if, if that is a sort of a [00:14:00] scary thought or a scary proposition, It's not your fault.
[00:14:03] You've actually been programmed to not be trusted with that. That is in the, the, the realm of men only. Right. And so this is the first kind of generation I think, that we're really being able to step into that and embrace that. But we have to be open. Um, and it doesn't mean that we all act like Elon Musk.
[00:14:22] Like we get, like that's the exciting part for you and I I think is like having women more, women, more money. Yeah. And, and making these decisions that can impact. You know, cultures and world and countries and health systems or whatever, uh, in a beautiful way as opposed to, uh, I don't know, get people to a Mars kind of way.
[00:14:44] yeah. I have a lot to say about that, but I mean, I think that the point is, is that Elon Musk has power because he decided he deserves power and took action in his life and benefited from a tremendous amount of privilege along the way. But like the guy just has so much. , he's just so power hungry [00:15:00] and he has so much audacity to be like, oh, I'm gonna lay off, you know, 4,000 people by not telling them and locking them out of a building.
[00:15:06] Like there's just so much there. The fact that one human being can even make a decision that leads to that outcome says volumes about our society and what's acceptable and isn't. And you and I, certainly neither of us would ever make choices like that. Right. And I think that that's part of why I want power is because I want the face of power to look different and to.
[00:15:25] And behave differently. And I've seen and been around powerful people and leaders, whether you know, leaders of countries or preeminent writers or scientists like, and I've seen people have tremendous power because of who they are and their influence, and they used it for good. and like we need a lot more of that.
[00:15:45] And so people like us need to have more power and that's, that's like why entrepreneurship is so appealing to me is because it's one of the only ways to actually create power. When you weren't born into it, like when you weren't born into a certain situation, like [00:16:00] it's almost impossible to get enough money to create power.
[00:16:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Okay. Capacity. Yeah, so capacity is all, I mean, it, they kind of all flow together, right? The capacity is like the ability to buy the support that you need to fulfill your goals and objectives, right? So that means hiring people. That means bringing in additional resources like capacity building is like adding in whatever needs to be added in so that you can achieve the goal that you have.
[00:16:32] Yeah, and that all also equates to money. Yeah, I think that one's pretty obvious. It's increasing your ability to do things so that you can make more money so that you have the money to do all the other things. Yeah. It creates leverage is what it does. And then this is where power and money become a flywheel because the more you pour in, you know, the more money and power you get, and then you have more to pour into the wheel and then itself perpetuates and grows and grows and grows.
[00:16:58] So like, [00:17:00] yeah, it, it, it. It is definitely about money and it's definitely about resources and, and also the decision to allocate resources in a certain way. That means you're focused on getting more power and resources. It's also like the choice there to do that. Right. Okay. The last one is freedom and I feel like again, there's so much overlap here, but money brings you freedom.
[00:17:27] Oh yeah. Time freedom, location freedom. freedom with, well, who you have in your life, mental how freedom, you don't know worrying about all the small details about soccer versus piano, right? Yeah. I think about that and so, you know, think about the great philosophers and thinkers that you look up to, like the Einsteins or the Freud's or whoever it is that, that, you know, you've read their work growing up or in your schooling.
[00:17:56] All of those people were only able to do that work because they. [00:18:00] Money so they didn't have to and win a minute. Women doing their work yes, allowed them to do that building right there, but they didn't have, like, they had time and money to sit around and think and like what? That's the greatest luxury really is to be able to not have to physically labor with most of your waking hours to support yourself so that you can have creative freedom, you can have time freedom.
[00:18:26] You can choose like, oh, I'm going to spend the summer. , you know, in a, in a cabin in Montana, off the grid, and I'm going to write my next play. Like, that's all privilege based on money and like, so this whole like myth of the starving artist, that's all heavily subsidized by people who have resources. And so I just, I think like no matter what your goals are, whatever's on your vision board, I just challenge you to look at all of the little pictures and cutouts that you have, whether it's digital or in physical form.
[00:18:58] And like look at how much [00:19:00] money has to go into each of those little pictures. . Yeah. And how happy you would be if those little pictures manifested themselves in your life. Damn. Straight. Yeah. Amazing. Okay, so conclusion, money can by happiness , how good does it feel just to say that and not dance around it?
[00:19:23] Yeah. Yeah, money makes you happy. Okay, let's do join. Hustle. You have the joy and I'm just gonna sit back and roll my eyes. Here I am. Rolling my eyes. All right. So yes, this is like basically everyone, this is a hundred times a day with me and Sandy, but okay. I brought these two, our retreat at the Scott Resort in Scottsdale the other day.
[00:19:44] And these are called mild liners, 25 colors, creative markers, . They are highlighters that are like mild color. and there's lots of choices and they're amazing and they, they will change your life. If you are a pen and [00:20:00] paper kind of gal and you have notebooks where you take notes or you do anything by hand, I encourage you to look up mild liners.
[00:20:07] We can put a link in the show notes and you know, why were we all using ugly highlighters for all of these years? I'll never know. I have nothing to say, . That's better. Just don't say anything. Okay. And the hustle. Um, we're going to, um, self-promote here and the hustle is going to be our program called The Luminaries.
[00:20:31] And this is our one year program, uh, where we take, uh, early stage entrepreneurs and get them to their first a hundred K through visible strategies through, uh, mindset strategies. and all the thinking, all the experiences we've had in the last how many years? Eight, nine years. I don't even know. Um, forever.
[00:20:52] We've just distilled it into like, here is your plan to 180. Yeah. It's very [00:21:00] prescriptive. We have spent all these years coaching and mentoring other entrepreneurs who primarily were teaching on our platform. Marvelous, formerly known as Noma Stream. And we learned some things along the way, . So what we decided to do over the last year as we split our companies up was to kind of call our inner circle program, um, which is no longer going to exist because it's now the luminaries.
[00:21:23] And we decided to focus on only. The content that moves the needle and to put it into kind of a proven formula that's, that's essentially simplified and it is a step-by-step playbook for how to go from nothing. Just a dream and, you know, some, some sweat to a hundred thousand dollars with a single offer and a single message and a single set of strategies.
[00:21:49] And so, um, we are following our own playbook with this company, the an She company. And, um, it's working very well for us and we're teaching it in our [00:22:00] luminaries program. Yeah, I think I'm really excited. I think. It's just the next evolution for this program. We're actually taking things out, making it less over, less overwhelming, and really being clear on the result and the process to get to that result.
[00:22:16] And it feels really good. So I'm, I'm loving it. I'm loving our little redo. Yeah, I love it too. And I love the name because obviously becoming luminary is something that most of us have never considered for ourselves, and I think it's also a reframe there for what if you allow yourself to think of yourself as luminary and what does that mean for you in your life?
[00:22:37] If you are luminary in your field, it means you get money and you feel really, really, Money, power, influence, impact, right? All of the things that go along with it. Choice, freedom, yes. All right. So the link, um, if you're interested in checking that out, is the luminaries.co. And it is application only. All right, [00:23:00] everybody.
[00:23:00] We'll see you next time. Thanks, Jeni. Bye everyone.