You want to live a life on fire and on mission.
You want to be filled with such conviction and drive that you stop caring about what ANYone thinks.
You want to face each day alive, authentic, and fully present in every moment: with your wife, kids, on the street, at the gym, at work.
You want to bring yourSELF to the table, and to stop bringing the watered-down, nice, what everyone wants version of you.
You want that self to be a man who is burning in passion for Jesus, unafraid to bring his kingdom to anyone in your path, no matter the cost.
You want to love the one in front of you without fear, without needing love back, and without reserve.
You want to experience God for real, to not just believe, but to KNOW that he’s got you and that he’ll show up on your behalf. That he’ll show up THROUGH you.
You want to get to the end of your race and say, “Yep…I gave it everything. Jesus, you know I’m all in.”
...And you want to know just how to get there.
Welcome to Man Warrior King. Congratulations. You are among the violent taking the kingdom by force. You are among the chosen, answering the call to rise above your self. You are in the forge being stripped down and strengthened—and you WILL rise stronger, solid, unshakeable.
You are a man. You are a warrior. You are a king.
Good afternoon and welcome to another episode of the Man Warrior King podcast. I'm your host, Matt Hallock. And today I want to talk with you about how your faith and how you view yourself in God's eyes in the kingdom directly influences how your marriage goes, how you show up in your marriage. we have, and this topic is sparked in my mind by
by this common Christian thought process that actually I heard in a song that I really enjoy, but there was a part of it that I thought, it's good, it's good, but most people think this way, but I disagree with it. And so let me articulate for you. There's a thought process that says, I just want to be more like Jesus.
I just want to be more like God. want to be more holy. I want to be more righteous. I want you to make me more like you.
And I understand that because as we're going through life, right, you might, you might find yourself doing things, behaving in ways, thinking ways, feeling ways that aren't like Jesus, that are not the way that God would be thinking or feeling or anything. In fact, any negative emotion that you're feeling that's getting you down, discouragement, depression, unhealthy anger, God feels anger.
in a good and healthy way, self-pity, hopelessness, anxiousness, stress, worry, any of those feelings, they're not in him. He doesn't feel those ways. And so we shouldn't make room for them. But when you go through life and you begin to experience those things and you feel those ways, it's only natural to think, okay, I want to be more like Jesus.
So what ends up happening often?
is that men adopt this approach to life at large that I never am getting the thing that I want.
Because if we have that mentality, I want to be like Jesus and I'm basing that on how I'm performing on a certain day, then likely I'll never get to the point in this life where my performance exactly lives up to God's.
And so I'm training myself to approach probably the thing that is the most important to me and the most influential to my identity. I'm training myself to see this thing as this never ending hamster wheel where I'm asking to be more like him. And I just feel like I am currently not that
statement, I want to be more like you implies that right now I'm not like you. And it implies that actually I am lacking something. So I am approaching my faith from a position of lack.
And I need that lack to be resolved. need it to be filled up. I need it to be to be like,
I need that thing to be filled up so that I can be complete, so that I can be content, so that I can be satisfied.
And this is where we start to think, well, we know that we're never going to fully arrive until we get to heaven someday.
Okay, that's a decent, I suppose, like consolation prize, but it doesn't really do a whole lot to help me right now with the fact that I'm not yet in heaven and I want my life right now to be good.
And if, and if, as I say that you're like, well, God doesn't want my life to be, he doesn't, he's not about the good life. He's about sacrifice and serving him and honoring him. Okay. Then this, this is not for you. You don't have to listen to the rest of this. If we're being honest with ourselves, we want our lives to be good. And so the promise that someday in heaven, that deep core desire of mine will finally be satisfied does not actually help me right now because
now it's basically saying, well, that thing in you is never going to be satisfied until you die.
So I have this approach to the most important part of my life coming from a place of lack.
And then...
What it does is it trains me to see myself as incomplete, as lacking, as less than.
So when I am thinking this way about myself between me and God,
then it starts to have a readout in my marriage, especially, but likely in all of my relationships, even though in some of them it may not be as obvious as it is in my marriage. But it has this readout. And the readout is that I'm training myself to always consider myself as lacking. I'm training myself to always be begging and looking to get more.
And so now I'm going to take that into how I relate with my wife. I'm a husband who is lacking and I'm begging and looking to get more. Do you understand this? Does you understand the parallels here? I think it's pretty clear how, how it would, if we're training ourselves to behave one way with God, we might be then behaving that way with others, right?
So now here I am on my own, seeing myself as lacking. I want to be more like Jesus. I want to be more holy. I want to be more righteous. I want to have more of Him. And I therefore currently don't.
then I am going to have this self image in my marriage as a husband who unfortunately is lacking.
I don't really have all that much. don't measure up. I don't have an overflow of good and wealth on the inside of me to give out.
So I'm seeing myself as lacking as though I don't measure up. And what that means is that now I am not going to assume that I am readily and easily able to bless my wife. I'm going to begin to assume that, well, I'm not offering all that much to her. And
I don't understand why she married me. Now there's a good, okay, and healthy place to be like, yeah, I don't know why she married me. If I truly do have good self-confidence and self-esteem, but if I really begin to internalize this lack of from the Lord, then yeah, I'm going to begin to see myself as this beggar who's lucky to be invited into the palace of the queen.
And that might sound like it would be flattering and honoring to her, over time it breaks down.
I am gonna end up...
Creating in her that same vision of me that that I am Not worth much that I am lacking if I don't respect myself. She's not gonna respect me
So then this, this always approaching God from a place of lack, I need more. I then begin to train myself to look at all of my relationships for what do I need to get from this one? And what do I need to get from that one? And yes, I should get things from my relationships, but I become monofocused to where I am now this bottomless pit.
that just needs to be filled more and more and more. I've trained myself to be this way by how I approach God. And the reason I'm linking these two is because most Christians in our culture approach God this way, that I just want more of you. I just want to be more like you.
often those prayers don't truly get satisfied. It's not like you go and you say, God, I just want to be like you. thank you God. Now I am. I don't know that that happens much. It becomes more of a lifestyle of praying this way. And I suppose for some people it can work, but I know many people for whom it does not and for whom it has created some bad emotional hangups. So
If I'm only looking for what I can get from my wife, now I'm going to stop being attractive. I'm going to start being needy. I'm going to easily be offended, easily be hurt because I'm bankrupt. Right? So, it's like, what is the proverb? A man without self control, self mastery is like a broken down city without walls.
So I, when I am lacking in the self mastery,
I am like a city broken down without walls. The city without walls is very easy to be invaded, demolished, and, and, and ruined. So I become very touchy, very easily triggered because the slightest conflict or disconnectedness or snarky remark.
is a huge threat to me when I don't have a wall around my city.
So I have got to assume that I am actually complete in my marriage, that I actually am not lacking. And in fact, I am incredible and I have a lot to give. I have a lot to offer. Man, my wife is lucky. I'm a blessing to her. It doesn't mean you have to go into arrogance. It doesn't mean you can never admit that you're wrong. It doesn't mean that you have to, that you have to be perfect.
No, it's actually embracing the fact that I'm incredible and a blessing while simultaneously understanding that I'm not perfect and I have messes mess ups. Weaknesses.
And therein lies this paradox that thankfully is both are true.
So I need to approach my wife that way, which means that would be opposite of this, Jesus, please make me like you.
So do I have grounds to change that? How I approach him? And I think we do. Like it says, I want to be, you know, when we say I want to be righteous, I want to be holy like you, and I want to be more like you, and let me have more of you. It's not actually scriptural.
It says in second Peter.
This is the Passion Translation, 2 Peter chapter 1, verse 3.
That seems pretty clear. Everything we could ever need for life and also godliness. That would mean I want to be more holy while you already are. I want to be more righteous while he already gave you righteousness. It's already been deposited in us by his divine power. For all this was lavished upon us through the rich experience of knowing him.
who's called us by name and invited us to come to him through a glorious manifestation of his goodness.
As a result of this, he has given you magnificent promises that are beyond all price so that through the power of these tremendous promises, we can experience partnership with the divine nature by which you've escaped the corrupt desires that are of the world. So everything you need for life and godliness has been lavishly, lavishly deposited into you.
And now you are a partaker of God's divine nature. Listen, you are not lacking when you think, I wish I were more holy. You already are.
but I wish I want to be more righteous and pleasing to God. You already are. He has already given you favor. He has already given you righteousness. It says, he who knew no sin became sin so that through him, you and I could become the righteousness of God.
So the question, if you're saying, I wish I was more righteous, then you're saying, I don't know that Jesus actually did what he said he did. Because if he had done it, then I already would be righteous.
if you've been given everything.
then you lack nothing. So this approach to our relationship with God from a place of lack is really, it's deception. It's praying in a manner that I think Satan likes.
Because when you pray that way, you're not acting in any kind of faith. Not at all.
You are completely doubting the Word of God and what He said, what I just read to you.
So I know that's hard to stomach, but I think that's a type of prayer that Satan actually loves. Because he knows that it's going to get you to keep on believing that you're missing out. And this is what he has done from the beginning.
He told Adam and Eve that God didn't want them to eat from that tree because then what God knew was that then they would become like God.
Satan said, yeah, if you eat it, you're going to become like him. He was saying, there's something that you are not. You are not like him right now. So you need to do something more. You need something extra to become like him. The trick of the whole thing was they were already like God and he got them to doubt what was already true of them.
And because they doubted it, that led to them experiencing life as though they weren't like God when they actually were. Because as Jesus says, and I come back to all the time, according to your faith, will it be done to you? So if your faith is in this lie, that you're not holy and that you're not like Jesus and that you're not righteous and that you don't have all of him.
then you are not going to experience his fullness in your
It's not that you need to beg harder to convince God to finally do something different and to give you more than he has.
It's that you need to stop begging altogether and begin thanking him that he's given you everything you used to think you lacked.
And I guarantee that as you do that, you're going to begin to experience a filling up on the inside. You're going to begin to experience strengthening on the inside.
This is why, this is a large part of why Christian men are so weak today. It's why we are so in agony in our lives and so much struggling all the time. It's because it's ingrained into our very praying, our thinking. It's ingrained to what we think is faith, but it's not faith.
So we're trapped because we don't know any better than to continue doing faith and life with God this way.
and it's digging our own grave deeper and deeper. So this episode is a hand out to you to pull you up out of that grave of lack of inner emotional spiritual lack. You've been given every possible thing, everything we could ever need for life and godliness. You've already been given it.
So what I want you to do is to begin praying that. want you to begin praying, God, thank you that you've already given it to me. You've already given me all of you. You've already given me holiness. can't change that now. I'm just holy and it has nothing to do with my performance.
I can hear the question, but Matt, what about me? Because I don't experience all of God.
I've missed out on a lot. haven't seen his power. I don't feel like I hear from him. don't feel like I have had powerful life changing encounters with him.
Yeah, I know. And I would say that a large part of the reason behind that is because you've believed this way. You've believed in lack. You've, you've assumed you don't have
and it creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. So what you need to do is not wait for God to do this new thing where now you're like, Whoa, I don't lack anymore. Now I'll believe that you need to go back to the beginning, back to square one, as if you had just become a Christian and you had no prior history with God. And you were like a little child reading his word for the first time. And he says,
You've already been given everything that you could possibly need for life and godliness.
And you're like, that's incredible.
Thank you.
And then you go through your day and some challenges come up and it's tempting to give in to the discouragement, but it's like, you know what? Thanks God that I know apparently I have the strategies to handle this. I'm not really sure what they are at the moment, but I have them. God, I thank you that I have the power to overcome this situation, even though I may not feel like it. I do have it. God, I thank you that I am the solution to this problem.
I thank you that I have the power to kick out those demons. thank you that I have the power to stake a claim on my home for the kingdom of heaven. I thank you that I have the power to chase disease out of someone's body, even my own. I thank you that I have the power to turn around this marriage if it needs turning around. Or I thank you that I have the power to bless and fill up my wife.
lead my marriage into a place that can only be described as heaven on earth.
have that in me. Because I came to you and you gave it all.
gentlemen, if you want some more guidance in a, in a powerful free training course on how to re spark desire in your marriage and the changes that you need to go through on the inside in order to be able to do that. I want you to join this brand new free marriage training that I released, the marriage reset accelerator.
It's a six part masterclass. It'll take you through the basics of where your marriage may be at right now and what kind of shifts you need to make on the inside to create intense desire from your wife for you.
I'll put a link in the show notes for you. want you to scroll down, find that link, go there, jump into that work through that six part less, a six part masterclass. It's going to be eyeopening for you. There's already a couple hundred men in there going through it and it's eyeopening for them.
All right. I love you. I'll see you next time.