The Coach Approach with Diane Ravenscroft

Join learning and communication specialist Dr Diane Ravenscroft as she introduces tenets of the Coach Approach, a mindset and skill set she has developed through decades working with business leaders and professionals. In this episode, learn about the vulnerability commitment and the Declaration of Interdependence.

Show Notes

Join learning and communication specialist Dr Diane Ravenscroft as she introduces tenets of the Coach Approach, a mindset and skill set she has developed through decades working with business leaders and professionals. In this episode, learn about the vulnerability commitment and the Declaration of Interdependence.

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What is The Coach Approach with Diane Ravenscroft?

Whether you’re an entrepreneur chasing growth for your business, a professional seeking career advancement or someone interested in getting the most out of your relationships, when it comes to communicating, you need The Coach Approach. But leave the megaphone and training whistle at home because The Coach Approach equips you to develop a communication style that is question-oriented and permission-based to become more adaptable and responsive to different temperaments, situations and roles. Invest in yourself to profit from knowledge and see potential in yourself and others.

Join management and learning specialist Dr Diane Ravenscroft as she shares ways you can start conversations that matter to you, your life and your business.

You're listening to the coach approach
with Diane Ravenscroft, whether

you're an entrepreneur, an ambitious
employee or someone interested

in getting the most out of every
connection, responsive communication is.

Join management and
learning specialist, Dr.

Diane Ravenscroft, as she gives
you the tools to improve any

relationship that matters to your
business, your career and your life.

All right.

Here's Diane.

I am Diane Ravenscroft and you are
listening to the coach approach podcast.

The coach approach is a mindset and a
skillset with steps to achieve, avoid, and

celebrate along the way towards responsive
leadership and improved relationships.

Today, I will share about my
vulnerability commitment, declaration

of inter dependence and other
snapshots of trademark programs.

As we explore some coach approach
skills time for a story stories, have

a title, and I will call this story.

Contrasting mindsets.

The story takes place in a small
conference room in a local hotel.

This story of contrasting mindsets
is one of my favorite encounters

with smart, dedicated people,
expressing their individuality, amid

changing roles and restructuring.

I was invited to facilitate an important
meeting with a group of financial

services leaders who are being asked
to collaborate more fully with their

business development team leaders.

The lenders were seeking to grow
their market share by introducing new

products, I will call them bankers.

The bankers invited the
business development leaders.

I will call them sales
people who you guessed.

It were eagerly discussing what
was possible, attainable, exciting

and aspirational while the bankers
were making sure to prepare for the

worst while planning for the best
due diligence above all admirable.

The banker's enthusiasm was directed
more towards caution in a reserved

manner, which at times perplexed.

And for some demotivated after an
hour of brainstorming, many of the

bankers sounded pretty negative and
pessimistic to the sales people.

Sorry, bankers, regrettably.

Many of the sales people sounded toxically
positive and unrealistic to the bankers.

Sorry, salespeople.

This feedback to each group member was
part of the vulnerability commitment.

Agreed upon prior to the meeting in
high stake, potentially high risk

and even high conflict meetings.

I asked for a vulnerability
commitment from everyone.

I meet alone with each team member
prior to the retreat or group

meeting and ask about the culture.

What I'm hoping to learn is that people
trust one another for the most part.

And so are willing to commit to honest
and open dialogue, to deal with any

uncertainties with people or with process.

The vulnerability commitment is an
important part of the declaration

of interdependence that ends the
meeting and becomes a personalized

mission of the new team.

The declaration of independence
is very familiar to Americans.

And so a declaration of interdependence
is an acknowledge that each

person needs the other and a
decision made by one may impact.

It's basically a governance agreement for
attitude, behavior and conduct a, B, C.

I have helped write numerous declarations
of interdependence with many teams,

and each is as unique as the people
who have worked on them together.

The vulnerability commitment
also helps with how people

hear themselves and others.

People come to the meeting, ready
to listen to their coworkers with a

willingness to be open to potential.

If before they limited or marginalize the
potential of a coworker by prejudging,

assuming, or having low expectations,
the vulnerability commitment opens the

door to new ways of hearing each other.

Eventually this practice manifests
in transformational communi.

It takes practice.

It takes effort, but it's worth it.

The vulnerability commitment and
declaration of interdependence are

part of the coach approach skillset.

And your first challenge,
should you choose to accept?

How willing are you to be
vulnerable with your coworkers?

How interdependent do you
feel as a team, a member.

Applying the coach approach helps
people hear themselves in a new way

to become attuned to not only how
we think we sound to ourselves, but

how we may sound to someone else.

Someone who may not have the same
mindset or wiring hearing ourselves

is a little bit like holding up the
figurative mirror or put another

way, taking an audio selfie.

How we sound to someone else
can also get to perception.

I cannot control how people perceive
me, but I have a lot of control over

how I present myself, listening to
myself as a starting point, helps me

evaluate the tone of my voice, my word
choice as relatable and hopefully warm.

And if I'm really self-aware and you
are evaluate our motive, our intent.

If any of you out there know Robby
burns a Scottish poet, he has a poem

about seeing yourselves as others.

See you.

It's the same idea, except it's really
focused on our words, hearing ourself.

The reason this is important is
because there's another skill I will

describe in a future podcast, hearing
yourself and stopping yourself.

But for now, let's get back to
the vulnerability commitment.

To fulfill the vulnerability commitment.

Everyone must come with good
intentions and be ready to collaborate.

The customer needs are central
to the outcomes while each person

contributes their vision for how
to work together in a new team.

Listening to ourselves
can be transformational.

It adds to our self knowledge because
it produces awareness of our thinking

and possibly our predispositions,
our, our knee jerk reactions.

What's automatic in our thinking.

Believe it or not, I'm fairly
predisposed to being cautious

and sometimes I'm a naysayer.

I can even be critical.

So as I describe some of my
characteristics, please think of yourself

or someone you work with or work for.

So you can become attuned
to your preferences.

When I said I was critical.

Did you think I'm not critical?

I can't stand critical people or did
you think yes, I can be pretty critical

myself or cautious or even a naysay.

I wanna be optimistic, but my wiring,
my mindset, sometimes even my outlook

often defaults to what could go wrong.

I tend to also be a little hypervigilant.

My favorite new word, a client taught me.

My client said, and I'll
talk more about this.

That being hypervigilant is sort of
like ducking you're in a boxing room.

You're ducking, you're
dodging you're hedging.

You're waiting for that next punch.

So hypervigilant people
tend to be very cautious.

These predispositions are why I
am effective as a coach, because I

tend to work with people who think
like me to help them learn, to use

descriptive praise as an example.

Critical people, as you might
imagine, don't necessarily

praise as the first thought.

So teaching descriptive praise, teaching
people to be encouraging and acknowledge

the great work done in affirm helps
individuals find the good in just about

any situation and just about any person
while at the same time, not ignoring what

could go wrong to be ready for anything.

My default, think about yours.

My default is to think
about processes and details.

First as I'm naturally an analytical
problem solver, an idea person, a

troubleshoot I've increased my vocabulary
to practice descriptive praise to

say what went well specifically.

So the actions can be replicated.

I'm quite serious.

There really are people who like
me needed to learn how to do this.

Find someone to affirm.

Describe what went well with some
detail being really specific and

sincere and see what happens.

What's your result.

Seriously, try it.

Hearing yourself.

Affirm will impact your mindset.

And if you really mean the words
you say, and I hope you do once

affirmation becomes a regular part
of your conversations, whether in

person or in groups, affirmation
can actually impact your mindset.

I encourage this practice
as part of the coach broach.

I have literally learned to shift my
thinking and teach others to do the

same, to take people at face value, be
willing to think the best of everyone

until they prove my best intent.

Wrong.

How about you?

What's your mindset?

What's your default setting mentally.

Do you first think about achievement or
do you first think about what to avoid?

Everyone has these predispositions
and I've observed these in

individuals for a long time.

And these predispositions
come out in our speech.

They come out in our tone of voice.

They certainly come out in our body
language and our facial expressions.

So how does a predisposition impact
what you or I say our choice of

words, for example, the energy and
the tone that we bring to our voice.

Let's challenge ourselves to
listen to ourselves today.

So let me challenge you, listen to
yourself today, what you say out loud

and what you think before you speak.

Ideally, we all think before we
speak, right, this is an instructive

exercise and is the second
challenge of the coach approach?

Remember, the first challenge
is the vulnerability commit.

If you're really brave ask the people in
your life who know you best, if they can

define your default setting, maybe they'll
share this about themselves with you.

So are you curious what happened with
those group of bankers and sales people?

Much of the morning was
spent unpacking perceptions.

Unpacking prejudgments conclusions,
knee jerk, reactions, and assumptions

by all parties, as part of the
vulnerability commitment as a step

towards interdependence and our
declaration of interdependence.

Once we were able to unpack these
perceptions, these assumptions,

these prejudgments, then we could
get to the essence of why we're

meeting, forming the new team.

I was primed by the CEO who invited
me to facilitate the meeting, that

there would be opposites attracted.

He hoped to the same result, profit and.

And of course client satisfaction,
ultimately towards client loyalty,

but getting everyone I was told to
attentively, listen to one another,

really listen to one another
internalize information, understand

and act upon the strategic goals.

That's the list would take
some doing so here they are.

Again, these are important
things to consider.

Getting everyone to attentively, listen
to one another internalize information,

take it in, absorb it, understand.

So there's no misunderstandings and
then act upon the strategic goals.

Yes, it took some doing to be
aligned in decisions and priorities.

A very important process conversation
since a new team was being formed.

People realized they
were basically a group.

A group with limited common goals
and no real shared vision yet.

That's why they weren't a team.

Because as you know, teams have a
shared vision, everybody going in

the same direction towards alignment,
everyone having a line of sight

towards the strategic goals, the
great news was every person was open

to the vulnerability commitment.

They.

They were willing to explore
this important collaboration.

I believed everyone was sincere.

Openness is a key trait of people
who demonstrate the coach approach

to apply the coach approach.

The first step has three opportunities.

Each of these opportunities
starts with the letter a if

I'm ever leading a training.

I think AAA AAA don't forget AA words
and AR acknowledge, accept an account.

So if you wanna remember the first
step with the three opportunities

of the coach approach, if AAA
helps you, it helps me again.

These three opportunities are to
acknowledge, accept, and account.

Let's look at the last word first account.

To embrace the coach approach.

I must be willing to account
for the differences in people.

Interpersonal styles and ultimately
in communication styles, before

I can acknowledge that I might
be contributing to the very

challenges that drive down results.

I must be willing to accept that
I could be part of the problem.

Whether that's my communication
style or lack of transparency.

Do you see how the vulnerability
commitment plays into this?

There's a lot of personal responsibility
I'm taking there a lot of acknowledgement.

So therefore I must be willing
to account for the differences

before I acknowledge that some of
these issues might actually be me.

Once I accept that I could
be part of the challenges.

Maybe my communication style
or my lack of transparency.

I have to be also willing
to ask myself a question.

I ask in coaching on a regular
basis, especially executive coaching.

I write this on a piece of
paper and I hand it to a leader.

Are you inadvertently contributing
to the very things you were

trying to reduce or eliminate?

So I ask myself, you ask.

Am I inadvertently contributing
to the very things I am

trying to reduce or eliminate.

If I am working towards eliminating
unproductive conflict, I must be

willing to acknowledge that I may be
unknowingly contributing to the conflict

by my words, actions or inaction.

So you pick a goal and you plug and
play, you pick a behavioral goal

or some kind of a strategic goal.

And fill in that blank.

If I am working towards blank, I must
be willing to acknowledge that I may

be unknowingly contributing to blank
by my words, my actions or my inaction.

Sometimes it's just about
perception as someone's reality.

But when you and I are ready to accept
personal responsibility for our impact,

we're ready for the coach approach.

You can see how openness
fits in here as a key trait.

I hope when we learn to listen to
ourselves and to evaluate ourselves

to improve, we're getting closer
and closer to responsive leadership.

So once we acknowledge, we accept and
we account for individual differences,

we are ready to take the next.

To be willing to consider differences.

Is uniqueness a benefit?

I don't know about you and I'm gonna play
with my tone of voice here a little bit,

but the word different is often used as a
negative ever heard someone use this tone.

That's different as if different
is bad or strange or negative.

What is it about the word different.

That somehow makes me anyway, think
of something less than great, by the

way, when I discuss differences, I
don't just mean differences as we

were describe embracing diversity,
for example, in the traditional sense,

I mean, differences or diversity
of thought different work styles.

And so on the coach approach invites us
to believe differences are a benefit.

Like-minded people who exclusively prefer
group think and enjoy an echo chamber

of agreement, agreement agreement, may
in fact be limiting potential in every

corner of the fading corner office.

So step two of the coach approach
is embracing uniqueness among people

as a strength to leverage and scale.

Step three of the coach approach is how.

To leverage these differences for
continuous positive improvement member

CPI, continuous positive improvement,
timeless step three can get challenging.

Sometimes it's really difficult
to leverage differences.

So we must again, challenge ourselves.

There is a mindset shift required of
leaders that takes some skill to ease out

of the daily grind, to focus on what to
achieve, to remain competitive and nimble.

We can be weighted down by pressure
and struggles and anxiety and stress.

Did you even hear my voice change?

My energy drop.

When I said those words we can be,
we can be absolutely weighted down.

So there is a mind shift required of
leaders that takes skill to ease in

and out of the daily grind to focus
on what to achieve because we have

to remain competitive and nimble.

So another challenge of the
coach approach is empathy.

Many coworkers, managers and leaders spend
several hours a day avoiding the next bad.

And when required to encourage
support and discuss what's possible.

A shift in mindset is
necessary to sound optimistic.

This is step four of the coach approach.

The shift and shift just
happens to spell a concept.

I follow to rise above the daily grind.

As I rise above, I seek higher ideals.

There's the first three letters
S H I seek higher ideals.

Ft can go one way or another.

You can either fix your
thinking or be flexible.

You choose, fix, or flex seeking
higher ideals, fixes thinking as

a statement for shift or seeking
higher ideals with flexible thinking.

It's up to you.

You choose.

For me, the biggest deal is
seeking the higher ideals to

rise above the daily grind.

Then I can shift and literally shifting
my mindset, fixes my thinking because as I

fix my thinking upon higher ideals, lofty
goals, what's possible potential aspiring.

Then I can move outside of the
here and now what bogs me down.

And I can transcend these difficulties.

Rising above the demands of each situation
that is hard work takes practice, but

it's crucial to not feel crushed under
the weight of so many responsibilities.

So to move forward, we must
always look towards what's next,

ideally, towards what's possible.

Excellent.

And finding potential.

In summary, building productive
relationships between people who

think very differently about how
to produce results is certainly a

challenge for every worker today.

No matter your role.

And I've talked a lot
about leaders and managers.

So let me say again, the coach
approach is for everyone.

So the summary for the first trait
and challenges of the coach approach

are the first trait require.

To accept.

The first challenge is openness.

The first challenge is a vulnerability
commitment to yourself and others.

So you'll become attuned
to listening to yourself.

The next trait is also a challenge
empathy, and by the way, have

empathy for yourself as well.

Discovering and applying empathy is
important for everyone, but especially

for people who work with individuals,
unlike ourselves, The first step in

applying the coach approach is to
acknowledge, accept, and account for

differences and diversity in people and
communication and leadership styles.

The second step is embracing
the uniqueness among the

different people as a strength.

If you haven't read Tom RA's book
yet about strengths, I hope you do.

We all have a top five and
it's a pretty fantastic book.

Highly recommend.

Step three is leveraging and
maximizing these differences

towards continuous improvement.

Step four is mastering the mindset
shift as appropriate to practice

transformational communication.

As we master all of these challenges.

We start to understand
responsive leadership.

I'll spend more time on future
podcasts on responsive leadership.

The coach approach is ready for you.

Are you ready for the coach approach?

I am Diane Ravenscroft and you have been
listening to the coach approach podcast.

See you next time when we will
dig further into this model, and

I will share about the exception
to transformational communication.

What I call excellence through avoidance.

Thanks for listening.

Bye for now.