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How Does She Do It? is a podcast about what sits underneath the roles women carry.
Hosted by Latasha Kennedy, the show explores motherhood at the intersection of faith, family and calling through honest conversations with women building meaningful lives. We talk about the decisions, systems, relationships, setbacks and support behind what everyone else sees.
These are not conversations with women who have everything figured out. They are conversations about becoming, choosing what matters, navigating seasons that stretch you and building a life that reflects what God has entrusted to you.
From marriage and motherhood to identity, health, work, purpose, money and the dreams that still matter, How Does She Do It? asks the question women are often thinking when they look at another woman’s life they admire:
"Geez, how does she do it?"
Well sis, it’s time to find out.
RACHEL (00:24.504)
I believe mothers are the critical infrastructure of the family. Being consistent is the number one problem. Any plan that's like, know this, know that, no that ever. I'm like, that's a big red flag. Being consistent is the number one problem.
LATASHA (01:04.728)
Rachel, I'm so excited to chat with you today. Welcome to the show.
RACHEL (01:09.048)
Thanks so much for having me. I'm really excited to be here.
LATASHA (01:12.802)
Yes, I'm so excited to have you. So before we dive into all the things, I always start the conversation with my Tuesday morning check-in. So I want to ask you on an average day, what is your Tuesday morning at your house looking like?
RACHEL (01:30.144)
On an average day and on Tuesday morning, we are getting up before the kids. Okay. The key to happiness as a mom is to wake up before your children. Yes. So we're getting up, drinking some coffee. I try to do a little meditation time. And then it's getting the kids ready for school. So I do three different drop-offs each morning. and
LATASHA (01:41.656)
Point number one.
RACHEL (01:59.148)
Yeah, so I have to be at the bus stop at seven and then I have to be at the bus stop again at eight and then I have to be at my kids' school at nine. So it's a full morning between all five of them.
LATASHA (02:08.972)
And I would imagine if to be that efficient with those that those many drop offs, do you do a lot of prep at night?
RACHEL (02:17.462)
I do, it's more like I have really good systems. So I outsource a lot to my children. So you know, the older so for example, the older kids, they everybody helps with dinner cleanup. And then I have a kid that makes the lunches for the next day. So everyone's lunches that doesn't get school lunch. So you know, he's 10.
LATASHA (02:27.83)
And the things you outsource.
LATASHA (02:40.512)
Makes everyone's lunch?
RACHEL (02:46.358)
If you're 10, you can make some lunches. You can. And so that is kind of a key thing for me. I with the amount of kids that we have and the closeness in ages. So all of our kids are in a six-year span. Just imagine what it was like six years ago, where you just are like drowning in toddlers and babies. And so I realized really quickly that.
I have to be way more organized than the average mom, or I'm going to probably either die or kill everyone because it's just a lot. And so I it's like things like that. You have to get your routines down to help the morning flow. And our morning really isn't chaos because
routines that are like, hey, when you come in, you put your shoes in the shoe cubby by the front door. So we're not searching for the shoes, right? We have designated place for backpacks and we have somebody whose job is to take all the backpacks from the closet and put them in the kitchen and load them and load the lunches. And so utilizing my kids in that way, I've had to like it's not like an option. But I actually think that is one of the best gifts that I can give them is to teach them
how to be independent and be part of a team as well and and help because y'all all live in this house.
LATASHA (04:12.118)
And contribute to most of the mess.
RACHEL (04:14.708)
And ain't none of y'all pay any rent, so you know?
LATASHA (04:19.382)
One cent. No, no, no, I love that. And we do the very same thing. I actually have a video from my husband where my baby boy, he literally was a baby boy and he was pushing us with her. And and you hear my husband in the background say because he made a huge mess. And so his my my husband was having him clean it up and he was like, No, no, no, mommy. Like she's not available. But the sooner the better.
But also even more so, our kids when they go to school and the teacher starts singing the cleanup song or it's time for them to be the line leader, they understand how to do these things. So they're more than capable of cleaning the bathroom or making lunch for their siblings. Absolutely.
RACHEL (05:06.626)
Yeah. Yeah. And I mean it's hasn't been a walk in the park. And that's one of the things that early on I found myself falling into the trap of it's just faster if I do it. yeah. Because you don't want to deal with the fight and the tantrum or the they didn't even do a good job. But I found that really being patient with them, lowering the expectations, but being patient and
reminding myself that this is the work. It's not the chores. This is the work. Instilling perseverance into my children, instilling self-discipline, modeling for them how to have a successful life is is important and not just getting checking the things off the list. I think I got so distracted by checking the things off the list. And then it was faster if I just did it.
But when I reframed that to the real goal is helping my children to learn skills that helped me it helped make it easier because it was a purpose for it, if that makes sense.
LATASHA (06:16.78)
Yes, absolutely. And they get better at it. And we are their mentors, right? So we show them what it means to actually clean the sink, clean the toilet, you know. And it's gonna take practice because they're they're young and they're figuring it out. And in part they don't even really want to do it. But but leadership. They're also learning how to take ownership of something that, you know, they're responsible for. And I find that over time, and you tell me if this is true with your kids.
But then they really start to care about it being done right. So in our house, if you have agency over or ownership over an area such as the dishwasher, you also have the right to tell us that, you know, we shouldn't have a dish in the sink because the dishwasher is empty. And so no dishes in the sink. Put the dishes in that you're using in the dishwasher because that's your area. So you also have a right to maintain it.
And to keep the rest of the team on on task, you know, to ensure that your job doesn't become more difficult because we're not honoring your role, you know.
RACHEL (07:25.646)
I love that. I'm gonna steal that.
LATASHA (07:28.628)
They'll love it because what's better than telling mom, right? Mom, I know you didn't put a dish in the sink, like you know better. With no repercussions, like So I love that. so tell me, you you okay, so you have a mix of biological and adopted kids between five and eleven, right? And you I he you described your family as controlled chaos. But what was the specific moment you realized that
RACHEL (07:32.456)
yeah.
LATASHA (07:56.482)
doing everything all the time was no longer a sustainable a sustainable business or parenting model for you. So you mentioned that you at one point were willing to do it and it was just easier if you did. But did something click for you where you felt like cannot do it this way or I should not be doing it this way?
RACHEL (08:15.286)
Yeah, you know, I think it was more of like a gradual evolution. But I remember a couple really pivotal things was I went through a really hard time with one of my kids. so I don't know if you have anybody in your life that has adopted kids or kids from foster care. Both of our children were adopted through foster care. And so there's a additional level of
Kind of behavioral issues that can come out sometimes when you have a trauma background. And there was a season where there was a lot of really hard stuff happening. We actually had six kids at the time because we were fostering baby at the time. and she didn't sleep. It was just great. So anyway.
It was like where you're you're pushed to max capacity and you're you're so close to the breaking point. And you're like, I have to have ways that we do things to make this easier. And like the result of that partially was like me and my husband having the conversation of, hey, we need to work on getting these kids helping more. We need to get them to help because we need the help. And
Also, that kind of corresponded with we need to get them off of screens. because that was, you know, honestly kind of a crutch for me with a lot of my kids being at home at the time. If I feel overwhelmed, I just watch a show, right? And and that wasn't what I wanted. It didn't feel good to me. and so yeah, I mean, I think it was a combination, it was a slow evolution. One of the other big things was I read this book.
Called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer. And it was just talking about having a life of margin and space and not having everything so packed and crammed into your life. And you're always on this like hamster wheel. Yeah. And I mean, that book changed my life so much. I probably read it once a year or once every other year, just as a refresher, but it really helped me to envision.
RACHEL (10:37.672)
what my life could look like even with kids and that I did have the ability to say no. I could have a life where I'm not running around like a taxi driver. And I don't have to have my kids in all the things. Like I can choose. And so for me, we don't have our kids in anything. It's school and that's it. Because we like to spend the afternoons playing outside and chatting with the neighbors and and any given day, like last night, we were out on the front lawn and
We're on a cul-de-sac and I mean there had to be like 15 kids out there just riding bikes and playing and a bunch of us neighbors were sitting in the front yard talking and and I was reminded like that's what I want. I really don't care to sit at baseball practice four nights a week and games on the weekends because that might be I don't know. It just feels like that's the default. That's what we have to do as moms is put your kids in all the things, hustle, hustle, hustle, but
I've learned that really I can create the life that I want, which has space and margin.
LATASHA (11:42.808)
I think when more moms especially really embrace that it's okay to just sit down and do nothing and that's considered productive, if you wanna say, that you don't always have to be sweeping or be doing something for the kids or doing something for the house or that I because there have been times, Rachel, where I've looked at my family when I'm in my hustle mode and they're just chilling.
They are like playing video games together. They're like throwing popcorn in the air, catching it, missing it. And I'm over here tripping over the kitchen. I'm like, well, I want to do what they're doing. And I think more of us can do that. the trash is gonna get taken out. The kids are assigned the dishes. They're gonna get done, you know? So just enjoy, you know, have a good time because those are the things that they really remember.
They really remember the goofy moments that you create with them and you can't really replace that with anything, you know?
RACHEL (12:46.53)
Yeah, yeah. And what it makes me what you were saying makes me think about how so many times us as moms are so distracted by all the things and then we feel guilty if we do take any time to pour into our body or health or fitness or whatever that is. Because we're like, Well, that's taking away from my kid time and stuff like that.
LATASHA (13:08.834)
But the problem with that is that then we become like these. When my young when my kids were young, they used to call me a mommy monsters. If if I was like less than sweet, you know? Like, no, mommy monsters is coming out. And it's like we com because we all have a limit. We all have limitations. We all have a capacity. And it's not that God can't expand that capacity, but we do have limitations. And when you constantly find yourself
pouring out, but there's never an opportunity where you can decompress, where there's times for you to just smile, just be, you know, without you being attached to someone else's survival in that moment, you know, it can be a lot. It can be hard to manage. And then, you know, I find, you know, women grow in resentment or grow in guilt. And it's like
None of that is is necessary. You know, you deserve sis. You deserve to sit down. You work hard, you know? And I love your example that you bring to our memory about how Jesus could have worked twenty-four hours a day, but he didn't and he took time for himself. So I think, you know, what better model do we have for self care and nurture of ourselves and our lives than Jesus, you know, and the ways in which, you know.
He would steal away to go back to his father, to pray, to have time with his friends. I think those are such important things to remember and to also instill in our own lives.
RACHEL (14:40.31)
Yeah. I mean, if we let ourselves if I feel like the culture of hustle or do, it's always right. And I feel like that culture is almost like we're in a river. And if we just aren't doing anything, if we're not paddling at all or swimming, we're just gonna go downstream and we're just gonna end up burnt out and chronic with chronic anxiety and chronic stress and and
Feeling like our minds can't stop racing all the time. And so if we can be intentional before we get all the way downriver to the waterfall, then we're able to actually make progress upstream and just say, you know, I don't want that. I I choose not to, right? I'm I'm going to fight this, but it is a fight because the culture is definitely you gotta do more, you gotta hustle.
LATASHA (15:32.962)
Yeah, we did that as well, where we just we with our kids and activities, we've kind of done something a little bit different where we sort of follow the kids trajectory in terms of what they're into, as opposed to us being like, you must do this, you must do that. And so every time it's core sort of been like really refreshing because the kids are pulling us.
with something that they feel like they wanna do or a way in which they wanna express their gifts. And it's just such it's so fulfilling for us. It's so fulfilling for the children as well, because we're not making them live a dream we have for them. We're praying that they lean into their own gifts and as they continue to explore them, that the things that they desire that they would lean more into and we're happy to travail with them and
take them wherever they want to go for those things. But yeah, but we've sort of been very patient with their journey because we know they don't come as blank slates. And so, but you have to sort of give them time, sort of cultivate those gifts. And our kids have navigated in different places, sports, musicianship and things like that. And for us it's really just a lot of fun. I'm really curious about who they'll be, who they'll become, you know.
I think my only mandate for my kids is just value, we locking into their value. And so when you brought up the fact that you wanted to take the screens from them, I could really identify with that, especially in 2020 when they didn't have to go to school anymore. And so YouTube was like everything, because they didn't even really have in my schoolwork either. and I just remember just like cringing at the fact that they were just always watching YouTube.
And it's not that there's anything really that special other than just someone's turn on a camera and living their life in front of you. And so my mandate for my kids was for every hour they watch YouTube, they had to put into their own channel. And it wasn't for the purpose of them becoming viral or anything like that. It was just to help them develop an understanding that you have to bring something to the marketplace. You can't just be a consumer and you have to understand your own worth and that
LATASHA (17:53.482)
you have things that are valuable too that should be shared. So let's try to figure out how we can contribute and not just consume. So I didn't know, but it would it help ended up helping them with public speaking skills. And to this day they still edit and do all this other stuff. That's But I think it's just to your point that when you have your children, it's important to explore with them, to live with them and in tandem with them even as you're finding your own way and your own journey and doing things that you like like sitting on the
porch with friends that they come to love and enjoy that as well.
RACHEL (18:27.89)
Yeah. Yeah. And I think a lot of it, especially if we relate to like physical health and well being and stuff, it's you know, I definitely don't want to come off, I'm anti like kids' activities. No. But it's about capacity, right? Yes. Capacity within your season. And for me, we're getting out of this. Like I feel like we've lived for so many years in the trenches of like toddlerhood and is.
kinda hard. And then we're heading into a new phase where vacations are really like fun now. Like everybody can walk. It's amazing. you know everyone I know, yeah. They can buckle their own car seat. That's amazing. And so yeah. And so it's it's the season and having the awareness
LATASHA (18:57.719)
Imagine.
LATASHA (19:07.374)
It's like the small thing.
RACHEL (19:21.514)
In yourself because I believe mothers are the critical infrastructure of the family. Like it's like you can't have a functioning city if you don't have highways or a sewer system, right? And that is us in our family. And so if we can't, if we don't have the capacity, and it's no like, you're less than if you don't have the capacity, it's about being honest with yourself where you're at. If you don't have that capacity, then keep it to the basics.
In my program, I talk about what I call core needs prioritization. What are the essentials that you have to do to be successful in your capacity as a wife, as a mom? And those things are very short. For me, it's like time with the Lord, time with my husband, one-to-one time with my kids, my gym time, meal planning, and like home maintenance, cleaning and to-dos and things like that. That's it, right?
And those are the essentials that go on my calendar every week. And if I have capacity for additional, then that's absolutely fine. But it doesn't displace those core things. It has to be, I have to have that capacity to add that on. And that's one of the things that I I teach my clients is when we have those things on have priority spots on our calendar. And then you have the accountability piece, obviously, of
you know, somebody asking, hey, did you actually show up for this thing? you know, you realize that you probably have a little less time than you thought you did. And to have more margin because you know that those things need to be taken care of week in and week out. And if you have capacity for more, go at it. I mean, that's totally fine. I'm excited to get into this season where we will be able to start to think about it. Like, you know, what would they like to do? Let's
Let's think about what we could handle, you know. the other piece is we do have five kids, so that's quite a lot more than the average family. And so, you know, five kids times five sports or whatever, and that's a lot, right? So yeah. But yeah, I wanted to just make sure that we talked about that a little bit too, because our our capacity between seasons is going to fluctuate. And I don't think that it is wrong to ask your family to accommodate you.
RACHEL (21:47.444)
during those seasons because we're all part of the family and the children can appreciate understand, hey, you know, like mommy's not sleeping a lot because she just had a baby or the baby's not sleeping really well. So, you know, we're not gonna be able to do sports this semester. Yeah. We'll do it next semester, right? Or whatever. And I think that is perfectly fine because our role in our family is so important. And the last thing that I want to
model for my children is that mom is this burnt out butler that does everything for everybody all the time. Because what is my daughter going to pick up? She's going to pick up that a mom is doing nothing but serving other people constantly and burning herself out, not taking care of her body and having chronic illness when she's 50, right? That's what she'll learn. And then my sons will learn
That's what my wife should do. She should just take care of all of us, and I'm not about that.
LATASHA (22:49.432)
Tell us more about the work that you're doing with helping moms and women to stay healthy and to really embrace that as a priority.
RACHEL (22:57.966)
So I have a program, I'm a coach, I'm a registered dietitian, but I'm also a strength training coach. And essentially I teach moms how to really efficiently strength train and eat in a way that will promote fat loss for them. And I do that through the lens of somebody that has five kids and can't spend an hour every day at the gym.
And so a lot of my my workouts for my clients are very time efficient. They're very what's the word? I try to be really strategic because I don't want them spending too much time in the gym, but I still want them to get results. And then there's the piece of like, you know, how are we structuring our life to make this happen? Because being consistent is the number one problem that the moms that I work with struggle with.
How do I actually be consistent when I'm juggling all these balls all the time? And so that's a big part of the work that I do is helping them to get their schedule aligned with what they say their goals are. Everybody says, yeah, I want to lose weight. I need to lose weight. And then what do they do? They don't do the things that help them to achieve those goals. So let's make those things align in a way that works with your life.
LATASHA (24:05.953)
Okay.
RACHEL (24:20.002)
That's not restrictive. That's not like a crash diet or pre-made diet plans. I don't do any cookie cutter. All my programs are personalized to the unique individual. because everybody's different. And so everybody's life is different. Everybody's you know health situation is different. And so I really try to take a personalized approach to fitness. And depending on the season, we may scale back, you know?
Things happen and we're like, all right, we're dropping down at two workouts a week. And then, you know, when things calm down a little bit, all right, now we have the capacity. Let's amp it back up. And so that's what I do with my clients is I really help them to incorporate strength training and then flexible nutrition into their life so that they're not restricting themselves and they're not burning themselves out with a bunch of cardio.
We have to have muscles.
LATASHA (25:19.35)
Yes. Even moms especially. Especially carrying around those little turkeys that we call like our babies. Wow.
RACHEL (25:26.676)
Right. Yes. And you know, I mean, most of the women I work with are in their 30s or 40s and they're heading into perimenopause or into menopause. And your muscles are essentially like your longevity organ, right? They are so important for you as you age to be able to function well. If you think about, you know, what is getting off the toilet? That's a squat.
We need to be squatting. So when you're like old and you're struggling to get out, you don't want to do that, right? What is deadlifting? Well, picking stuff off the ground. We're gonna be doing that for our whole life. So let's get really strong in the deadlift. Overhead press, right? We're all picking things up over our head. It's the functionality that I really, really want to instill in them. And I have clients that are like, I no longer even have any back pain. And it's so simple.
You think just lift weights, you know? Yeah. but it seems intimidating and so I help people overcome that.
LATASHA (26:31.958)
I love that. Let's continue the conversation about functional activities that you're finding that are really helpful for your client.
RACHEL (26:41.23)
So essentially I really my aim for them is to be able to function well as they age because everybody wants to keep up with their kids. They want to keep up with their grandkids. And a big piece of that from a movement perspective, but also from a metabolic perspective, so blood sugar regulation, that type of thing, is having muscle mass. And so I like to shift my client's focus from
weight loss necessarily to let's really focus on gaining muscle. And maybe if we'll lose some weight, maybe not. Maybe we'll recomp, which is you're losing fat and gaining muscle at the same time and your scale weight stays the same. But nobody really cares about the number, right? Yeah. So that's my perspective is is helping moms to get in the gym, even if they have never done it before, even if they're not very strong, even if, you know,
They're just a mom, they're obese or overweight, they're new. There's all these feelings that you get when you start strength training, especially if you're in a gym. I do have at-home programs as well, but there's just a lot of feelings that come up when you walk into the weight section of your gym and you're like, my gosh, this seems so intimidating. And so I hope I help them overcome some of that.
LATASHA (28:05.646)
I love that. And so what have been like some of your favorite moments that you're having with moms as they're learning their bodies, as they're having success? What what are some of your favorite moments?
RACHEL (28:17.912)
So I had a client share with me recently. She was had like a sweets issue, which is common. And I was like, she's like, I just feel, you know, like I'm just feeling like the pressure. And I was like, okay, well, why don't we have like a sweets training day? And she's like, What? What? And I'm like, Yeah, well just like, hey, you know, like eat something that you really want that's like a brownie or a big bowl of ice cream or
Whatever it is, cake and take a picture of it for me. Think about how it felt. Think about how good it was. Enjoy that. And then you'll just do it again next week. And she came back to me after a couple weeks and she was like, That helped me so much because I didn't feel restricted anymore. Because I knew I was gonna have some more next week. And
Anyway, that was one of the recent things that I was like, Yes, see, you don't have to say no to sweets forever. Any plan that's like, No this, no that, no that ever, I'm like, that's a big red flag.
LATASHA (29:26.348)
Yeah. But and it's not sustainable though.
RACHEL (29:29.09)
Aside from allergies, right? Of course. But yeah, it's not sustainable. And that's one of the biggest problems that the women that I work with have dealt with is they've done the cycle of, I'm just gonna cut out all the carbs, or I'm gonna do vegan, or I'm gonna do intermittent fasting. That's the big things. I'm gonna not eat. And then here we are, you know, and we've got all sorts of cortisol problems. Yeah, you know, yeah.
LATASHA (29:31.853)
Right.
LATASHA (29:57.208)
Want to come back from after they've developed, you know.
RACHEL (30:01.292)
Yeah. Yeah. So I really it's I'm trying to help them to create a lifestyle, not just reach an outcome. That's the whole idea.
LATASHA (30:11.85)
Mm-hmm. And so what I'm sure in your in your client roster, you have some moms who are they're gung ho, they're ready to do it. And then there are moms who are like, I don't have capacity, I don't know if I can, this isn't working. what do you tell those moms? How do you help them get back on track?
RACHEL (30:31.576)
So I would say by the time they work with me, by the time they've made that step, they're pretty sold on this. Okay. But I do talk to just in my communities, moms exactly like that. And it can be very intimidating. And what I would encourage is starting with just one thing. A lot of times we just want to overhaul everything. It's like
If you have a junk drawer in your kitchen and sometimes you just want to pull the drawer out and throw everything away and start over. And we want to do that with our bodies sometimes. There's so much wrong. I don't even know what it all is. I'm overweight and I'm now I have this blood sugar issue and I can't sleep and I'm probably paramenopausal and you have all this stuff, right? And you just want to throw it all away. And I would say just start with one thing. If you can focus, if I could pick from the nutrition category and the strength training category.
Okay. If I could pick from both. The first would be to work on getting more protein. Most women are not getting anywhere near enough. I've had clients that have come to me and they were like, I think I was actually eating like 20 grams a day. And so that's one of the first places that I look. is yeah, yeah. You'd be surprised actually.
LATASHA (31:48.992)
Okay.
LATASHA (31:53.91)
Like that's not even like a full meal, right?
RACHEL (31:57.442)
Well, if you eat a like if you think about it, if you're eating like oatmeal in the morning for breakfast, if you eat like a sandwich with a couple slices of lunch meat for lunch, if you maybe eat I don't know, what if you eat some like hamburger helper thing for dinner? There you go, that's not much more than twenty, right?
LATASHA (32:17.814)
Wow. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And okay, so continue. So but really it's supposed to be like about thirty or so with that with each meal, right?
RACHEL (32:26.722)
Yes. So what I like to do, my first goal typically is to get them to a hundred grams a day. If we can get to a hundred grams a day, I actually have a resource that you're welcome to share with your audience. It's called the 100 gram protein cheat sheet. It's just like a little checklist you can put on your fridge that has like hand portion guides. And it's like breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack. And as long as you check off one thing from each category, then you have a hundred grams of protein.
LATASHA (32:55.937)
Like
RACHEL (32:56.616)
so I can share that with you. Yes. But that would be the first thing. And then the second thing is to just start small with weightlifting. It can be once a week. It could be twice a week. If you're not doing anything at all right now, I would start with some form of weightlifting as opposed to cardio. Most people jump straight into cardio. I would argue that strength training is our foundation.
And then we add cardio on top of that. We need cardio, yes. But most people heavily depend on cardio and they think that that is going to get them the results that they want. That's what I thought. I thought all those years I spent on the elliptical and running half marathons was going to make me look like a bodybuilder. And, you know, like a not like a steroid bodybuilder, but tone and lean and whatever. And it's like actually that's not what happens.
LATASHA (33:54.848)
Yeah. Also it's the training there.
RACHEL (33:55.648)
Yeah. You know? Yes, it's the strength training. And so even if it's just one to two times per week, some of my clients have started with just two workouts a week. That's not a lot.
LATASHA (34:07.198)
Okay. No, it's not but w I hear what you're saying is get started. Mm-hmm. Get started and be patient with yourself and give yourself the grace to learn and to unlearn some bad habits while you learn new habits and you know, you'll get there. I think probably but most women were just like, I want my results right now. But
RACHEL (34:30.893)
We have I don't know what you would call it, Amazon Prime syndrome.
LATASHA (34:36.333)
Right. Well even now there's X amount of days till summer and then summer comes and then it's like it's X amount of days to the end of the year. Are you gonna go into the new year, you know, with the extra thirty pounds or not? Then the new you know, it's always like, you know, for some reason, but it's rarely just because it's about
RACHEL (34:55.595)
Yeah, you know. Yeah, I agree. And I think a lot of it is fed by the before and after transformation visuals that we're getting. Like we just get those all the time, right? And you know, it's important to know that those are the best of the best results from whoever it is program, right? Which I think we tend to compare ourselves to that, right? Well, we may not be like that person at all. And
LATASHA (35:13.091)
Yeah.
RACHEL (35:23.774)
Who knows how old they are? And who know, you know, because their face is never there, right? Who knows? Yeah, like have they had kids before? What's their life like? Like, I can't compare my clients' results to somebody that's in their 20s with no children. No. Yes. It's not gonna be the same thing at all. And so I think that's part of it. And then, there was one other thing I wanted to say. You know, you made me think about when you were talking just a second ago about
LATASHA (35:38.626)
Yeah.
RACHEL (35:52.578)
Taking action, it made me think about what you said to your son. Don't be just a consumer. And I think that's so important for us as women because we love to listen to podcasts like this. And my gosh, yes, I need to start lifting weights. Or yes, I've always said I need that. And then we always like consuming and then we're never taking action. And I think you're spot on is do something.
LATASHA (36:20.527)
Do something. And I think though, what happens is the just start on Monday is part of our problem. And I think the other is when we have a bowl of ice cream, like if a mom doesn't have someone like you in her life to guide her, right? And she eats the ice cream on Wednesday, then it's like, I'll just start next week, you know? And so you undo all this great progress, you know, because now you're gonna eat ice cream for the rest of the week into the weekend.
And you're gonna start on Monday, but you've lost all your progress, you know. Yeah that you know you lost your momentum. So I think it's important to I think the patience that you mentioned is so important. And I think combined with just one percent better every day, not perfection, and even if you had ice cream because someone's birthday came up and you're like, ugh, right? I know for me during my menstrual cycle.
It's the only time that I must have a cupcake. I will I will I will run you over for it. I will push you out the way for it. Just please, you know? And then after I'm fine. I don't I don't have that craving anymore. But but I think yeah, we condemn ourselves so badly, and then we lose the progress and then we lose hope, and now we're twenty pounds heavier. Even worse.
RACHEL (37:42.708)
Yeah. That's yeah. And that's such a real thing, especially too when you are like the standard is this like, you know, if you're on Instagram or social media, like this high achiever who never takes a day off because she has goals and she you know, whatever. And there's no grace in there. And that's why I gave my client, like I was like, Hey, look, you need some sweets training. Like, let's learn that you can have a cupcake.
And it's okay, you know.
LATASHA (38:12.834)
Yeah. Enjoy it. I mean, you can't give me twelve you can't give you can't bring a pack of cupcakes in my house, okay? Because I'm gonna eat the cupcake. But I'll just give one and enjoy it and not feel some type of way about it and just move on with my life. You know, my vegetables at dinner. I promise.
RACHEL (38:20.014)
Okay. Yeah.
RACHEL (38:31.788)
Yeah, it'll be just fine. And that's the difference between like a lifestyle and just a crash diet. Yeah. And you know
LATASHA (38:38.222)
Yeah. Yeah. And I think the work that you do is so important because I mean actually I the first person I've actually heard that says, it's okay, girl, if you start with just one workout and then amp it to two and then amp it up, you know, like as you get stronger, as I get more of your buy in to this process, you know, as you figure out your meals more, you'll get better at this. But if you haven't been working out
and you've been doing it with hamburger helper and you know oatmeal every day, you do have to kind of give yourself some time to really get with a new pace and learn some new habits that are just as fun for you and enjoyable for you as the hamburger helper would. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that's a really important. I've actually never heard anyone say that.
RACHEL (39:24.63)
Mm-hmm.
LATASHA (39:30.604)
Most people say, Good to work, do it now, you know? It's very like martial law, you know, like like corporal, like just do it. What is wrong with you? You know, but don't think for women, especially in an Instagram world where, you know, you open it up and even your favorite influencer has a, you know, another workout every day that she posts, you know, and it gives this impression that you said like
She's she's there, she's arrived. You know what I mean? So what's wrong with you? Why can't you just knock this out? You know? So I think the work, the the mindset work is also so important, you know. So important. A number is being done on us, you know, through this medium.
RACHEL (40:16.598)
Yeah, it's so true. And even me as like a coach, like I'm I'm a pretty healthy person and and like I feel like I look pretty good and I still am like man, you know, and I'm like, what am I doing? One of my things I want to do is like I just I really would love to just get off of Instagram, like just not have it at all. Right. And I'm like, it's so hard when you know, we talk about running a business.
That's the thing. Like I don't have a personal Instagram, right? Okay. but it's still this like, you know, when you are a fitness coach on Instagram, it's like, well, what does the feed give you? Stuff like what you've been posting, you know? Yeah. And so I have to constantly check myself and be like, I'm not compared to any of these people. I'm only comparing myself to myself. And I'm amazing just the way I am.
LATASHA (41:12.972)
You absolutely are. And even giving us tips and grace that we can't get from anybody else. So tell me though, you're you're a coach, you're a dietitian, and you're, you know, changing women's lives. But for you, are there times when you rise and you're like, I just don't feel like it. I I don't want to do it. I don't want to do the meal prep today. And when those times come, if they should, how do you talk yourself off the ledge?
RACHEL (41:39.51)
Yeah. That's a great question. I actually just had that experience. Yeah.
LATASHA (41:44.376)
You make it out, sis. Yeah.
RACHEL (41:46.498)
So, you know what's funny? I don't do any meal prep at all. No. No. So I do. This is my secret. Can I share it with you? I have a meal plan rotation. And it is an automated like system there where I have a set number of weeks of meals and they just repeat. And that way I don't have to think about it.
I don't have to decide what we're having for dinner because I just look at the meal plan and write the stuff on my list. And I have a staples list and my meal planning takes me fifteen minutes every it is
LATASHA (42:29.528)
First minute sending a ticket to your down
RACHEL (42:34.254)
Yes, it is amazing.
LATASHA (42:38.698)
my gosh. Wait. First of all, you said you pretty much have meals that you keep on rotation. Right. And I has still can't wrap my head around how you got us to fifteen minutes. So what are you doing that it only takes you 15 minutes?
RACHEL (42:44.638)
Right.
RACHEL (42:54.936)
So I am looking at my rotation. So my rotation used to be on paper, like in a binder. And I would have each recipe card in there.
LATASHA (43:02.295)
Okay.
LATASHA (43:06.654)
What's like a typical recipe? Like,
RACHEL (43:09.384)
let me see. So I ha I built out a pretty big rotation. I have a ten week rotation now. you are so fancy. man. It is let me tell you, it is like a thing of beauty. Every time I meal plan, I'm like
LATASHA (43:15.533)
Hmm.
LATASHA (43:22.64)
Yeah.
RACHEL (43:24.098)
So it did take a little bit of time to set up, but the time I spend in decision fatigue, it's like hands down worth it. Right. Yes, none. Zero. So the way I do it is I will look at my meals, what's on the plan for the upcoming week? For example, we like to do, I mean, just kind of regular stuff. Like we might do tacos.
LATASHA (43:32.088)
That's what I'm saying.
RACHEL (43:48.034)
We might do chicken tikka. We might do like I have this stewed coconut chicken recipe. I mean, just stuff. And I have main dish and then whatever sides go with it too. So if, for example, if the main dish is just a protein, then it needs a carb and it needs a veggie with it. Right. So I'll have that included as well. Okay. On the meal plan rotation. And then I have a amazing staples list that I just run through. Those are the things that
you aren't tied to a particular meal, for example, like oatmeal or eggs or, you know, your things that you buy on repeat. And I run through that. What do we need? Do we have enough of this, enough of this, enough of this? Get that on my list. Run through the dinner meal plan. I have a lunch meal rotation too. Breakfast is kind of whatever floats your boat for us. So that stuff's all on the staples list. I run through those things and put them on my list.
I have my grocery list organized by the flow of the store so that I'm just running through it super quick and efficient. Yeah. I mean, I'm telling you, like it's the best thing. Best thing. So you know what's so funny? I just created a a training that details exactly how I do it and gives you all the steps.
LATASHA (44:52.458)
Hello
LATASHA (44:57.816)
The floor of this door.
RACHEL (45:13.176)
How to organize your grocery list, what the actual system is, a fillable PDF to make yourself a two-week rotation, like as a starting point. I always say start with two weeks because you don't want to be overwhelmed. If you're struggling to like plan one week of food, planning two weeks of food is a lot. So just start there and then repeat that rotation, right? Week one, week two, then go back to week one, week two. That's where we start. So I have that. It's seven dollars. If you want me to send it to you.
So time saving. And then I even have a little section on there, which one lady who bought it was like, this was literal gold for me. I have a section on how to deal with picky eaters because the problem is we cook this nice, healthy, nutritious food, and then our kids don't eat nothing. And then we're like, Why am I cooking? Right. Right? All you eat is chicken, nuggets, and mac and cheese anyway. So, you know? Yeah. Yeah.
LATASHA (46:07.286)
So how do you handle piggy beaters? Okay.
RACHEL (46:10.968)
couple different ways. And we have a a very wide variety of picky eaters between five kids. And then I do have I have a kid with some sensory issues. So that's another level. in our house is we take a brave bite or even a brave lick of food that's new. And then if you don't like what I made, then you can have a peanut butter sandwich. Yeah. Right? So
That's just what it is. Or, you know, I will try to plan like one element of the meal though that is generally accepted by most people. But with seven people in the family, having it be a home run for every single one is going to be impossible. And so if you don't like what I make, then you can have a peanut butter sandwich. And everybody will eat a peanut butter sandwich. The it's like an acceptable thing, right? Like they'll eat that.
LATASHA (47:03.36)
Okay.
RACHEL (47:08.472)
But that's it. And then they learn I can try new things and we praise them for trying a new thing. Hey, you took a lick of a beat. My sensory issue kid took a lick of a beat the other day. And I was like, that is amazing. He tried, he just put it on his plate, took a lick. That's the win. It's not, ooh, you love beats. No, it's you tried it. You did something hard. Yeah. Yay. That's what we praise.
LATASHA (47:23.106)
Yeah.
RACHEL (47:38.52)
Because trying new food is hard for a kid. And so having them have a low pressure environment. They know they're gonna have something that they like. It doesn't have to be peanut butter or sandwich. Like it can be whatever it is for your family, like the default. Okay. Right. It's about establishing a healthier relationship with kids with food for your kids.
LATASHA (47:54.359)
Right.
LATASHA (48:01.088)
I love that. Yes. We do something similar. I love you call what did you call it? The brave, the brave bite. So I wasn't that clever. I would just say just try it. You know, just try it. If you don't like it, no one's gonna step it down your throat and make you feel bad because you don't like it. But you do have to taste it, right? Because Brussels sprouts may look disgusting, but you haven't tried them the way mommy makes them.
RACHEL (48:06.658)
Right. Yes.
RACHEL (48:27.444)
Yes.
LATASHA (48:29.902)
We got that. And then the other is what we did do periodically is we'll just sit down with the kids. Not so much my oldest now, because he stays on campus. But but when we were all together, we would just check in and say, Hey, what's your favorite foods these days? What are you into? And we would have the Josiah list, the Elijah list, the mommy list, the daddy list.
And so you can just kinda see like, okay, like d this one's really into corn, like roasted corns, corn, corn on the cob, like maybe we should get this guy some corn, you know. But the rest of us are like, Yeah, you know, we can take it or leave it. But it was a great way for us to kind of just know what they were into. And then I would just cook what I knew they'd eat, you know. I I really don't care what vegetable you eat, you just gotta eat something.
RACHEL (49:07.758)
Yeah.
LATASHA (49:25.708)
I don't care if you like chicken or if you like the shrimp, like which just tell me. Just just tell me. Like take all the guesswork out of it for me so that by the time it hits the table, if you say you don't like it, what do you mean? What do you mean you don't like it? Because it's on your list, you know? And there are times when that's happened where mommy is not on my list anymore. I'm like, okay, well, I don't know, but I wasn't as clever with the peanut butter sandwich.
RACHEL (49:39.788)
Yeah.
LATASHA (49:54.228)
I was sort of like, You want some fruit? I maybe that maybe that's my version. Yeah. You know, but but we just because it's it's it'll wear you down to constantly have to go back and forth with a small human who barely can reason, you know why they should eat their broccoli. I couldn't
RACHEL (50:14.547)
yeah.
Do it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, one of the ladies who did that training, she said her kid has never eaten a vegetable since they had a baby. And she incorporated the brave lick thing. Yeah. And she said that I think it was like the kid was two or something, maybe three. She licked it. And then the next time they had broccoli, she like took a little bite.
And she was like, my gosh, you know? I think s we put so much pressure on them and then they're like, Why is mom action so weird about this broccoli?
LATASHA (50:52.503)
How a child can just hold you hostage like that.
RACHEL (50:56.712)
it's crazy.
LATASHA (50:59.128)
Got you. They've got you. So working together is like, listen, and I I I love that brave lick and just try it. And the celebration, you're right. You know, it's like we throw a party just because we tried it. Like that was great. Everything else around it if you don't like it. Just thank you.
RACHEL (51:01.282)
Yeah.
RACHEL (51:17.218)
Yeah.
RACHEL (51:21.482)
Yes. Yeah, that would been the biggest thing. And like, you know, with the I find that when they know what's the expectation and they know what the default is, then it's like prepares them a little bit too. but yeah, feeding kids is always an adventure.
LATASHA (51:34.648)
Yeah.
LATASHA (51:39.902)
It is an adventure. You have to like I find sometimes I'm like holding my breath, like so okay. We spent time we talked about the kids, we talked about your business and how you're helping women, you know, get back to, you know, really feeling like themselves again in their own bodies and embracing strength training. But I wanna talk about also your life with your with your husband and what that's like. Because with five kids
You know, I'm just so curious and I'm sure our listeners are also curious about how you guys stay connected, how you define your alone time and time where you both decompress either together or alone. Tell us more about that.
RACHEL (52:20.64)
Yeah. So it's constantly evolving. Yeah. as the kids get older. It's like this weird, you know, at the beginning it was a lot of we put the kids to bed early and then we have our time in the evening. And now it's like I'm tired, I want to go to bed, and the kids are like still partying, you know? so it's evolved. We consistently have our time in the morning, you know, we'll spend time in the word and then we'll pray together. And then
I have a once-a-month standing date with my husband. And we go out for lunch because I realized last year it was my goal to go on 12 dates a year. Which I mean, that sounds like a pretty low bar, but we didn't even make it. And I realized it was because we were aiming to have dinner dates. And the childcare thing when you have five kids is kind of prohibitive because
You know, not everybody just feels comfortable babysitting five children. Yeah. You know, it's a lot. And then with some Yeah, and with some of our kids' special needs, it can be a little intimidating. And so this year I was like, Okay, why don't we just do it at lunch when the kids are at school? And so we have a standing date on Fridays once a month where we go out for lunch. And yeah, that's been really good. I would say our relationship though has been very
Kind of like we're tackling the problem together. Like we're raising the kids, and it's like we're both in the trenches together. This is my fellow soldier. And we are, you know, we have that bond of working on a project together that's I think is really strong. And so that's kind of our our relationship. It's really fun to both work at home. We both work at home.
and so that's been fun too. Although he'll say that I don't eat lunch with him enough.
LATASHA (54:21.719)
Aw, but that's a good that's cute. That's sweet.
RACHEL (54:24.906)
Yes. Yeah. And he's like, Mary eat lunch with me and I'm like
LATASHA (54:29.122)
Love that my husband, when he's home, he we've I would say probably the last 10, 11 years, we've had the one or how's it work? I'm sorry. Seven days on, seven days off. So my husband is a internist and he used a hospital list at hospitals. And so he would be fully on, seven to seven, and then the next week just totally off. And so we would date during the day, like you said. But now my husband's home even more and he's like
I don't feel like you're giving me any attention. And so he just does stuff to just either annoy me and he's like, 'Cause I wanna play, I wanna go outside. I wanna like I'm like, my gosh, you know. But at the same time I'm like, that's so cute. Of course I'll go outside with you, you know? Yeah. So it's like it's special. I think it's so special to what you said is perfect, is that we're in this together, you know.
And I think it's special for your kids too to see it. And when they're little and you'll be surprised how much they love it even when they get older and how it really sets the tone for the type of life they wanna live when they see mom and dad having a good time.
RACHEL (55:40.938)
Yeah. Yeah. I love that.
LATASHA (55:42.766)
Yeah, and I don't know if you guys do this, but sometimes we play good cop, bad cop. Sometimes we give the other person like we're like, you can tap out. You know? Because we have boys and sometimes we're like, I don't know like I don't know. Like, do you know what's wrong with this kid? Like I can't figure it out. Yes.
RACHEL (56:01.152)
No, we do that too. Yeah. Yeah. I need to yes. Right. Rescue. I'm like this is not going in a dream. Somebody's gonna regret something, so let me take over.
LATASHA (56:03.192)
Yeah.
LATASHA (56:15.8)
Yeah, no, seriously. I mean, like, 'cause they're kids and to them what they're saying makes perfect sense. To us, it's like, what are you even talking about? Like that makes no sense. He's not picking up what I'm putting down and I don't know. And there's even been times I've told my kids, like, no, I'm not coming in there with you and I'm not coming in there. Like, wherever your brain is going and however this has come to a point where it makes sense for you, I don't want to be nowhere near that.
RACHEL (56:45.409)
Yeah.
LATASHA (56:46.122)
I'm just gonna go with your dad, okay? 'Cause maybe you guys will understand 'cause I I gotta tap out, you know.
RACHEL (56:52.768)
No, that's very healthy. It's good to tap out. Know your limits. Yes, know your limits. I just like sometimes you're just like, hey, look, you know, just just chill. I'll be back later. You do what you need to do. Be mad. Whatever. Yeah. Exactly. I nothing positive gonna come out of my mouth right now. So I should just leave.
LATASHA (57:14.104)
Yeah, I'm gonna just step away. So when you so what kind of you guys do your day dates and then do you guys do any do things at home too? Do you find like your kids still kinda go to bed? No, you say they have parties and stuff. They're not really having parties. They're up and like about. Yeah. Navigate that. Do you just like grab all and just have a movie night?
RACHEL (57:31.688)
Yes.
RACHEL (57:37.836)
Yeah, we do a Friday night movie night. That's fun. and then we'll do one night a week, we'll let them play a video game. And mostly my boys, my daughter's just not really into it. So we might watch a movie on Saturday nights. and then yeah, I mean we try to do so Sundays we take like completely off. So it's just like a a rest day. And so
You know, we'll sit outside. We both like to read. We'll play basketball with the kids. We'll do board games. We like board games. just take walks, you know, just kind of that like average family stuff, but it's special to us, you know?
LATASHA (58:24.086)
It's so special. And I actually miss those times because I remember when my kids were so young and my husband loved that he could bring some of his joys of being a guy, you know, to the family because he has voice. So we were always having like nerf gun wars. Yeah. And we had our house had
Like these walls where you could hide behind so easy to hide. It wasn't open concept. So you could like hide. And I just remember being a part of those. And they still laugh about them to this day. Not too much when the kids would go to school and my husband would upset me about any number at something super random. And I'd be like, okay. And don't go grab a Nerf gun. Say it again.
RACHEL (59:07.214)
You know Yes. That's I'm gonna steal that idea. We have Nerf gun battles and I'm like, I should save a Nerf gun and just have it under my desk.
LATASHA (59:17.742)
I want a mommy one. I have one just for mommy. And yeah, and I once in a while I would crank that thing back and ready. Yeah. It's like that's the closest I've come to being violent. They're like, look at sweet mommy with a nerf gun. Look at that. I'm like, okay, well I'm not you know my gosh. Well I l I have just so
RACHEL (59:26.03)
There you go.
RACHEL (59:39.47)
Yes. Yeah.
LATASHA (59:44.066)
Thoroughly enjoy talking with you. And I've gleaned so many like cool hacks that I'm excited to try, even in my own life. And what I love so much about what you share with us is just how much love and how much patience and grace that you're extending towards your family, even as you yourself are still figuring it out and navigating one season where no one's really walking to where everyone's walking now.
And I'm so excited to see the rest of your journey as your kids get older and are eating more and grow spurts. But you I think you have something so special for women and I'm so excited for them to know more about you and know more about how they can be involved with what you're doing. So tell the tell the audience, you know, how they can find you and how they can participate in your program.
RACHEL (01:00:34.92)
Yeah, for sure. So the number one place I hang out is my podcast. It's called Effective Weight Loss for Moms. you can check that out. I have tons of just really tactical little nuggets that you can take to the bank. Okay. so that's the number one place. You can also follow me on Instagram at effective fitness for women. I'm there occasionally trying to trying to not be on there too much.
Okay, okay, fair, fair. Yeah. But those are the main you know, really my podcast is the main place. And then if you want to actually like interact with me on Instagram, that's where to be.
LATASHA (01:01:16.47)
Okay, great. I love that. And so before I close, I love to have what a segment that I call the pulse check. So it's a rapid fire question segment where I just ask you five questions. You answer with the first thing that comes to your mind, no overthinking. Okay. Okay, so question number one. Okay, so it's 4 p.m. and you're hitting a wall. What is your go-to mom fuel?
RACHEL (01:01:34.699)
Okay. Sound fun.
LATASHA (01:01:46.658)
That actually aligns with your belief system.
RACHEL (01:01:50.06)
Mixed nuts. Okay.
LATASHA (01:01:51.422)
Great. What is the one household chore in a house of five kids you would happily delete from existence?
RACHEL (01:01:59.182)
Cleaning my boy's toilet. Okay. And I do delegate that. Yes, I clean it.
LATASHA (01:02:01.163)
I understand. Yeah.
LATASHA (01:02:06.648)
That's fair. It's very fair. Beyond being a mom and a health professional, I am a woman who loves.
RACHEL (01:02:14.68)
Food. Food. I love food.
LATASHA (01:02:19.138)
I'm such a foodie. god. We that's a whole nother show. Saturday morning, two hours of pure unscripted freedom. Where are you going?
RACHEL (01:02:22.861)
Yeah.
RACHEL (01:02:31.134)
where am I gonna go? I can think of so many things. It has something to do with coffee and a book. Probably. Yeah, like coffee and a book, like uninterrupted. Like I can read a whole page without having to like tell somebody to get off of the Amazon truck or, you know.
LATASHA (01:02:38.251)
Okay.
LATASHA (01:02:53.464)
Don't jump off the counter, please.
RACHEL (01:02:55.788)
Don't jump off the counters, get off of the roof. Yeah, probably that. I mean I would just like go somewhere and I wouldn't even have to go somewhere. If I could lay on my own bed and read a book two hours, that sounds great.
LATASHA (01:03:08.92)
Okay, okay, fair. And last question, if your kids had to sum up your mothering style in a single word, what do you hope the word is?
RACHEL (01:03:18.422)
I'm glad you said what do you hope the word is. I hope that they say compassionate.
LATASHA (01:03:25.258)
I love that. I love that. So that concludes this segment and our chat with Rachel today. Rachel, thank you again for stopping by the How Does She Do It podcast. I have learned so much from you and I'm sure our listeners have too.
RACHEL (01:03:41.066)
Of course. Thanks so much for having me. This was great.
LATASHA (01:03:44.404)
Absolutely. Thank you so much for coming.