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Every person has a style, and every style deserves support. Enter your style strategy cheerleader and founder of BU Style, Natalie Tincher. Since 2010 Natalie has worked with hundreds of personal clients as well as large corporations and a major global news network—and she is here to guide you.
In this podcast, you will gain clarity and insights on how to connect your style with your authentic self through Natalie's style expertise as well as interviews with other style-supporting guests like designers, clients, and other professionals in and out of the fashion industry.
Whether you love fashion, fear fashion, or fall somewhere in between, it doesn't matter. This isn't about fashion; it's about exploring who you are and how to own your unique style identity. This podcast will help you cut through the noise and examine your personal style holistically so you can "wear who you are" every day.
0:00:03 - Speaker 1
Welcome to when who you Are, a podcast that takes the fear out of fashion and holds space for everyone to explore how to connect your authenticity with your personal style. I'm your host, natalie Tenture, founder of BU Style, expert style strategist, and your enthusiastic friend in safe space of support. I believe that every person has a style and every style deserves a seat. With over a decade of experience working with hundreds of personal clients, I've learned a thing or two about how to help others have a healthy and holistic approach to navigating how to build a wardrobe that reflects who you are. So pull up your seat and let's get started. Thanks for coming back to another when who you Are Wednesday.
How is everyone doing this fall? It's been a quite busy one here, but happily busy. I've already gone to actually two weddings this fall, with one more coming this next weekend. I actually love weddings. Any excuse to dance with friends and celebrate love is A++ in my book, so bring them on, and I love that I had three of them this fall. In fact, one of the weddings was a when who you Are podcast guest, mahima Santhanam, which was my first Indian wedding I went to and it was so much fun. So give the episode a listen if you want to learn about the ceremony and traditional Indian wedding attire. It's really fun and I love the joy and brightness that comes with it.
So, speaking of dress codes, to start this episode, let's talk about typical American wedding dress codes and break them down. I know they can be a little bit confusing sometimes. So if an invitation says black tie, that means tuxedos for men and formal floor length dresses for women. If it says black tie optional, for this, you could wear a tuxedo, but you could also wear a nice suit and tie, formal dresses or a very dressy cocktail dress. If it says semi-formal or cocktail attire, this is suits or a jacket and slacks. Ties are usually optional and it's a cocktail dress or nice jumpsuit. And then finally, casual. So this can be the most ambiguous. So in this case, remember that, unless the dress code suggests it's very, very relaxed and casual, think of this as business casual or smart casual Dress, like, say, you'd be going to a nice dinner with friends, so maybe a polo or sports coat and nice jeans or slacks on dresses, a nice jumpsuit or a nice blouse and slacks for women's wear. If you're attending a ceremony with traditional cultural attire, like I just did do your research to make sure you're respecting the customs and traditions. So ask the couple if traditional dress is required or preferred, if it doesn't explicitly say on the invitation. So in the case of Mahima's wedding, it was optional. If you didn't have traditional attire, they requested that you wear bright formal attire.
Okay, so moving on to the Meen Potatoes, the Nat Chat today. It's something that's been on my mind a lot in my work these days, and that is the state of shopping. So I'll be really honest. When I started my business in 2010, shopping for me was much easier and much more efficient. So, yes, e-commerce did exist then, but we could still rely heavily on an in-store experience and, of course, I'll acknowledge that that in-store experience did exclude any specialty sizing extended, petite, tall, et cetera. That has always been a problem and continues to be problematic in an in-store experience.
But in 2010, the fashion cycle was still relatively more stable. Trends lasted longer, there were fewer brands in general and the price discrepancies between luxury, mid-range and high street were much smaller. Do you remember these times? It's when J Crew actually carried quality basics in a variety of colors. Mid-range luxury was an affordable investment and high quality. It was actually made of silk, not all poly and luxury fashion was something that was more attainable. It was still very expensive, but it was attainable if it's something you really wanted to save for. People could invest in key pieces like a designer handbag or shoes.
I did this in 2017, when I purchased my one and only Chanel bag. So for me, that was a goal I had when I started my business and became a single girl in the city. I was living on not a lot of money in the beginning, and so I'd set this intent that once I hit a certain monetary goal, I was going to buy myself a Chanel bag. It was a really exciting day when I hit that goal and I wanted a unique bag. So sometime shortly after that, I popped into the Chanel store and there happened to be this special edition woven navy blue and black boy bag. It was super unique and, of course, I immediately thought, oh, I could wear it with this. I could wear it with that. I started factoring the cost per wear investment side of it. I can wear it for seasons.
So the sales associate just added to this wonderful experience. She was this kind Midwestern transplant like me and I knew this was my bag, so she talked me through it. She didn't push me, she showed me other options. She really held the space for me to have this moment and it was my moment. So I walked the sales associate through how I'd reached my goal and this was my first Chanel bag. So she was just really excited for me too, and so I had this person celebrating the experience. So when I chose this bag, this beautiful bag that was my bag she went to the bag, got me a fresh one, she wrapped it beautifully for me and I remember I paid for my bag with my credit card and I immediately went home and paid off the credit card and it was this really momentous experience for me.
I ended up saving the box and wrapping for years after that, because the whole experience was really more about, was about more than just a bag. For me it really symbolized my hard work, resiliency and what I said. It felt like I was making it in New York. I would have had independence and just so much more. It was an experience and it was something that I invested in and saved for, but it was an attainable luxury at the time. So really for the first five, seven, maybe eight years of my career, shopping and stores was a special experience and it was a productive experience. So when it would come to clients, what I used to be able to efficiently get done in two to three hours in stores, nowadays it often takes maybe the equivalent of hours of searching online, maybe a few hours in stores, and then sometimes I still have to do another online search trying to pinpoint the exact need. So I would say nowadays, versus those first few years in business, it probably takes triple the time and effort to complete a shopping experience and on top of that the beautiful in-store experience I described above isn't always as common as it used to be. I'm lucky that in a lot of the stores I shop in I have sales associate relationships so we still can create that experience for clients.
But of course I do acknowledge that a lot of my feelings around shopping in these post-COVID times comes from my professional and personal evolution that hasn't exactly aligned with the trajectory of the mainstream fashion industry which we've touched on another episode run by the conglomerates and all of this fast fashion that's really coming into play constantly, and we've got influencers driving rampant consumerism and their QVC-esque paid ads. I've got to credit my friend Faith for that spot on comparison, do you really think some of these people are actually wearing or would buy the items they're selling? Some, yes, but many of them wouldn't. I'd put money on that. I'm also sure that, just transparently for me. I'm guilty of seeing it all. I'm around what's in stores all the time, what's being offered by online retailers all the time. So things do seem less and less special or unique to me, and in my career, I've seen quality and purchased quality. So when I see the deterioration of that, it is frustrating for me. So I just may be oversaturated as well and I fully acknowledge that.
So, like I said, acknowledging that, I wanted to get your feedback on your shopping preferences. So I did a series of questions and polls on Instagram a couple of weeks ago to get the pulse outside of my everyday life and what I'm seeing. So here's what you answered in my polls. So when I asked about your shopping preferences, 38% preferred online shopping, 31% preferred in stores and 31% preferred a hybrid of both. Then I asked how often you shop. 47% said a few times a year, 29% said as little as possible, 12% said monthly and 12% said weekly. So the 47% a few times a year and the 29% as little as possible. I'm excited for you because that probably means you made a strategic shopping list and following up with that. A lot of you did that. At least follow me on Instagram 50% said that you shop with a plan in a list, 29% said you shop out of desperation, which we do not like and we need to solve that, and 21% said you shop for fun and entertainment.
So I may not prefer the state of shopping these days, but I do have to participate in it and stay up to date on it. Whether I like it or not, it's moving the way it's moving, so I might as well find the good in it and avoid the negative as much as possible. So that's one of the selfish reasons I tackled these episodes Also. I am totally like a child. I do great with the reward system. So for me, the reward of doing the extra work of shopping to find those perfect pieces whether it's online or in person for clients, those perfect pieces that align with their style brand and when I hear this magical phrase, I love to hear from them and it goes something like this. It's like thank you, you just get me. So all of that is my reward Making people happy and feel seen and understood through my work is a true joy point. That never gets old, so I have to stay focused on that sometimes when I'm in the pain points that I experience of shopping. So, anyway, I was just gonna do one episode on shopping, but as I started putting together the content, I realized that this needs to be broken up. So I'm gonna do a series of NAT chats in the coming weeks, breaking down the state of shopping and the pros and cons of each and the strategies to get the best of each method. So the methods being one online, two in store and then three the catch all of the rentals and subscription boxes in that whole arena. So today we're gonna start with tackling the vast world of online shopping.
So, while e-commerce has been booming in the past decade, pandemics need for more e-commerce quickly fast-tracked to the already fast growth. So, in fact, there are a few stats relating to e-commerce and shopping habits in recent decades that I wanted to share with you. E-commerce sales worldwide reached 4.28 trillion in 2020, up from 1.34 trillion in 2014, huge growth. E-commerce is projected to account for 22% of global retail sales by 2023. 87% of consumers begin their product searches online, even if they intend to purchase in a physical store. 93% of consumers say online reviews influence their purchase decisions. 71% of consumers are more likely to make a purchase based on social media referrals. And then the influence of COVID. The pandemic has accelerated e-commerce growth, with online sales in the United States increasing by 44% in 2020. And 42% of consumers say they shopped online for products they had previously only bought in stores, due to the pandemic. So these statistics highlight the significant shift in consumer behaviors and the growing impact of e-commerce on the retail landscape in the recent years.
And again, more confessions. I'll admit, online shopping is not my favorite activity. In fact, if you haven't figured it out already, a real confession that shopping in general is the least favorite part of my profession, especially nowadays. But there is just so much stuff. It's just so much stuff Also for me. I generally am an in-person person, so I do like interacting with the clothes, touching the fabric, seeing how it drapes, looking at the seams. I also like my relationships with the sales associates I work with, and I love spending time with clients in fitting rooms.
However, as I said, shopping in stores can be much more unpredictable these days. I'm met too often with yeah, we only have this in one size and in one color in the store, but we have more selection online. Just go there. Well, that's not super helpful, I mean, why did I come to the store then? Also, when I think about online shopping, I think about when I was this teenage girl in Logan Sport, indiana. We didn't have online shopping. I was still circling things and triple-starring my favorite as a not-so-subtle birthday and Christmas hint for my mom in the J-Crew catalog. I think the excitement and I think how exciting it would be if I had access to a vast world of fashion that online shopping could have given me. I otherwise had to drive two hours to a reputable mall and that didn't happen very often for me. So there are many gifts that come from the great online shopping boom and it's really good for someone like me who is really picky and really strategic. So sometimes I can find, using proper filters, those perfect pieces.
But looping back to my really formal IG poll, I asked you what your challenges are with online shopping and here were some of the verbatim responses. Quote figuring out what will fit, what size to buy, how the fabric feels, drapes, being unsure of sizing and also material and quality sizing. So many options, brands, price points, quality, variation in sizes, unsure of quality, lack of reviews, non-size, inclusive models and photos, fit, and having my packages stolen from my lobby I'll hashtag that one New York Problems I totally hear ya. So these are all valid and I hear ya on all of them. So I've found all the methods of today's ways of shopping offer pros and cons Online, in-store, all of them. So here's what I've narrowed down as the good and the bad of online shopping.
First, let's start with the positives, of course. Glass, half full Convenience. You can shop from the comfort of your home or on the go 24-7. And you can avoid crowded malls during the holidays, long checkout lines. If you really just need to get something, you know what you're getting. Go it's a click of a button and you're done. The vast selection there is a wide variety of clothing brands, styles and sizes from around the world.
Online, it's easy to compare prices and options across multiple retailers as well. You can see who's having a friends and family. If you know you love a certain piece, you can check for it on different places and get the best price. The access to reviews you can read customer reviews and ratings to gauge the quality and fit of a clothing item and then you can make informed decisions based on the experience of other shoppers. So a lot of the excitement is in the reviews of products. They're also really entertaining.
Sometimes you can filter and find things. So if you utilize filters and search options, you can find specific items. And then easy price comparison. Again, you can quickly compare prices on different online retailers and you can take advantage also of price tracking tools that you can add to be notified when there is a discount. So if there's something that you're like I don't need this immediately, you can track it, and when it does go down in price, that's when you can buy it. And returns Some are more convenient than others, but many online stores do offer hassle free returns, allowing you to return items that don't fit or meet your expectations really easily. It's like slapping on a prepaid label and taking it to the mailer of choice.
Now on to the cons. You've addressed some of them Fit and sizing uncertainty. You can't try on clothing items before purchasing and that can lead to sizing and fit issues. Returns and exchanges may be necessary and sometimes those returns are not as convenient, depending on the retailer. There's quality assessment challenges.
It can really be hard to assess the true quality and material of clothing solely through online images and descriptions and knowing from the back end, behind the curtain. A lot of times these items are pinned or it's not actually the item that's being sold to you as a production, so that means items may not meet your expectations in terms of fabric, construction or color. Also, sometimes what we see on a screen isn't what was photographed. There's some discrepancies in that world too. Also, with all the options we have, sometimes there are too many options. There are just so many.
It can get tiresome and overwhelming. You could shop forever and ever and never feel finished, always thinking that there might be something better. And then shipping delays. Sometimes we think, oh, things are going to come in two days, but then time can vary. There may be a delay due to weather, holidays, logistics, so if you urgently need clothing, you may not be able to rely on shipping. And then environmental impact. Online shopping can contribute to packaging waste, increased transportation emissions, over-ordering and excessive returns can further exacerbate this issue. So being aware of the environmental impact can be a con if we are just doing a lot of ordering and returning. So, given those pros and cons, how do we make online shopping more efficient and productive.
Here are some of my strategies. First, if you didn't guess I was going to say this, you should have Determine your Needs. So we just went through the last NAT chat on assessing your closet and creating that strategic shopping list. This is where it comes into play. Listen to episode 22 if you haven't Listen to it, and a reminder of what that strategic shopping list is. So you're assessing your wardrobe and identifying what clothing items you genuinely need. It's creating that shopping list to stay focused on the essentials. So then you don't do impulse purchasing late at night while you're scrolling, or you know, I'm just going to add that to my cart. I'm going to add it to my cart. You know what you need ahead of time. So that will help this online search from the get go and get you on the right track.
Second thing is to set a budget. This is also part of the strategic shopping list process. Establish a clear budget for your clothing purchases. Enter in the sales tax, shipping costs, any potential return fees and get really specific on what your budget is. Again, this is going to help your filters.
Third thing is to know your measurements. Yes, sizing is inconsistent, so get out the old tape measure and have your measurements on hand. So take accurate measurements of your body, including your chest, your waist, your hips and your inseam. Then you can use that to refer to sizing charts provided by online retailers to choose the right size. If the size charts seem generic, which sometimes they do, especially in department stores, use that handy chat function or that contact button and ask for specific measurements on the item you are considering. Remember, you dictate things, you are the consumer and you can get these questions answered. Another really cool tool that some sites have is they've got these new apps where you can take a picture of like your foot, let's say, and then they'll show the shoe on your foot so you can see what it would look like, so you can visualize it without having to try it on. Another thing is there's a couple of apps that I know you can do measurements like on your foot or body scanners that will help take your measurements for you. So there's some really cool developments in that world.
The fourth strategy is to research your retailers and narrow down your choices. So, if you explore different online clothing retailers to find the ones that align with your style, with your budget and with your values, narrow down the options and create a go-to list. Otherwise, you could be searching and you could get redirected forever. So if your strategic shopping list is more robust and there's more items on it, I would suggest focusing your search in the following I would do one big round of an online shop at one of your favorite department store retailers and then supplement that with two or three specialty retailers for the remaining needs something really focused. Otherwise, you really could be searching forever. Once you've started to narrow down your favorite retailers, next suggestion is sign up for their newsletters. I know we get a lot of newsletters, but if you can also curate your newsletter list, then you can be apprised of when they're doing sales, discounts or some type of exclusive offer. So then you can also strategize your shopping with those components or when they're dropping a new collection, if you know what's on your strategic shopping list.
The next is to really utilize filters and sorting. Again, this will help you avoid the doom scroll. Use filters like size that's a really easy place to start. Price Another easy place to start referring to your strategic shopping list, and maybe the brands. If you know your favorite brands or a price range, this is really where that focus strategic shopping list does come in and making sure that it's as specific as possible. This will help the shopping process Also. Just start understanding which big retailers have better filter and search functions. For example, I find that Nordstrom has an excellent filter and search function to help narrow down the choices from thousands to just a few handfuls. So then I know I only maybe have one or two pages to scroll through. Instead of that dreaded, you have 20 pages and then you keep clicking and it's going and going and going.
And seven read product descriptions carefully. So a lot of the information you're going to get is in that drop down button of product description. Understand the material. Then the care instructions, what's included because sometimes what's photoed in an e-commerce site is not all included, like a belt or something like that. Look for the sizing advice. A lot of times now they'll say you know, the model is five foot nine and is wearing a size small. If that's available, that's really helpful, intel, so you can start comparing to yourself and remember that a lot of the items are pinned or AI generated these days. The descriptions are sometimes your most honest indicator of a product. And then, of course, read the reviews and ratings. So pay close attention to customer reviews for insights into fit, quality, general customer satisfaction. A lot of these reviews will have the reviewer give a profile. Like I am this tall, I usually wear this size. This is the size I got in this. So then you can take both the positive and negative reviews into account and hopefully narrow down purchases and have fewer returns.
Tip number nine is to pay attention to the shipping details and return policies. Understand how your returns work, the costs and the timelines. Familiarize yourself with the retailer's return policy, including the time limits and the return shipping instructions. Know that if these are things that are going to be a barrier for you, then just don't even order from them. If something's a final sale and you're unsure, then that tells you don't order it. Or maybe it's only exchange or store credit and it's a new store that you don't know if you're going to like Again, that tells you just don't worry about it, move on to something else and, of course, keep the packaging materials until you're sure you're keeping the item.
The next one is a big one. Avoid a time warp. So one of my suggestions for this again is to limit down your retailers. Set a timer for your shopping and really focus it. You could scroll and scroll and scroll and add and add to your cart and never get anything done. So one really easy technique is to use that old Pomodoro tomato timer technique. You set the timer 25 minutes, scroll where you can and then take a break. If you aren't finding what you need after a certain allocated amount of time, step away. You're probably getting fatigue. Let the algorithms do their magic and come back to search another day. And the final tip is to be careful to not be over influenced, and we've talked about this in aspiration versus inspiration style.
Instagram targeted ads and influencers can be really convincing. So make sure you're following people that you truly trust to give honest recommendations and don't fall easy for your targeted ads. It's really easy to scroll through Instagram, click on something, think it's the best product ever, but you've never heard of it before, and add it. And then a lot of times I had somebody tell me the other day I got this sweatshirt that this influencer told me was amazing, and then I kept getting targeted ads for it and I got it and it basically disintegrated in the wash.
And going back to that, a lot of those places don't have good return policies or not reputable brands. So be really careful of these targeted ads and influencers. And once you've completed your strategic shopping list, you can call your shopping complete. Remember, the online marketing monsters want you to feel like you're never done and that you need more. Remember that you are the one who dictates your shopping goals, your budget and what you put on your body. It's about wearing who you are and not what the new interwebs AI spies try to sell you. Good luck shopping and we'll see you next time. See you next time.