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Manhood often feels like navigating through uncharted territory, but you don't have to walk alone. Join us as we guide a conversation about how to live intentionally so that we can join God in reclaiming the masculine restorative presence he designed us to live out. Laugh, cry, and wonder with us as we explore the ins and outs of manhood together.
What’s Your Year Plan?
00:00
Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast with Restoration Project. I am so excited to be here with my partner in crime. Jesse, Jesse French. Good to be with you, Chris. Jesse French. And yeah, I'm excited about where we're headed today, but I want to start with this story. Okay. I, uh, has God ever just like shown up for you in a totally random, bizarre way? Like almost this is too bizarre for it to be any kind of coincidence.
00:30
Last, you know, this previous summer I was camping, solo camping, and I was out in the dispersed camping wilderness national forest, really pretty remote from everybody. And it was a morning and I was sitting in my camp chair reading a book and no one else is around. I was alone, solo camping.
00:59
No one else was around. There was no, like, I couldn't see, hear anything or anybody except for like the birds and the chipmunks. So the sun had just come up. I'm sitting there with my coffee and I'm reading this fiction book. A great way to start the morning. That's lovely. That's what you're supposed to do when you're camping, right? You're supposed to like just chill and relax and enjoy the sunrise, the golden.
01:26
Golden Sun was moving down the mountain towards me and it was just glorious and beautiful. So I'm sitting there in my chair and I had been reading this fiction book for weeks and was just coming to this one part in the book and I'm looking down and I'm reading and in the book, the characters in the book are also in the woods and they are
01:54
around a campfire and they're like heading out doing something. It's like ancient times and whatever. So they're, and this is ancient England, right? So they're out in the woods in England. Yep. The, the, I'm not going to quote it cause I can't quote it, but it's basically the characters in the book look up and they watch movement out in the forest and out from the trees emerges a black bear. And the bear starts to like,
02:23
go across their campsite, the area that they're laying down, camping fire, whatever, and go up towards the down the trail. OK, so there this is happening in the book. In that very moment where I am reading the black bear comes out of the tree out of the forest. I look up. No way. And across.
02:52
this like ravine area, which is pretty small. It's maybe like 20, 30 feet wide ravine. There's a stream that runs down below. I'm on one side across the ravine. Out from the trees comes a black bear. Right on cue. Right as I'm reading that, literally like right then, right in those seconds it is happening. And I'm like, what is, what? The book, the bear, the real, like there's a real, like I could not believe it.
03:22
Yeah. And he walks off, he comes around, he walks off, and you know, goes off in, you know, grubs around a little bit looking for something to eat or whatever, and then just continues on. Now, if he had been on my side of the ravine, I would have gotten up and run like, done something different. But he's on that side, I was safe. And just he wanders off into the woods. Plus, it's a bear, right? Like, two times, Jesse, two times in my life.
03:51
I am a native Colorado and two times I have seen a bear. This was number two. This is amazing. Oh yes. So I'm a little like little shocking. Yeah. What is happening right now? And, and so I stopped obviously. And I'm like, okay, what is happening? I made sure I knew where the bear was going and just chuckled, just chuckled to myself out loud. Like Lord, what are you doing? What does this mean? And it felt like in that moment,
04:21
It felt to me like he said to me, I am playing with you in story. I am just playing with you in story that I just want you to know, like I see you sitting there. I see with your coffee. I see this morning and I'm just playing with you. So that happened. I have more to say about that, but is anything like that ever happened to you? It's been awesome, Chris. I am jealous. My bear sightings have been few as well. So that's pretty awesome. You know, the one that comes to mind for me was,
04:50
I think it was three summers ago and I was on one of the restoration project summer trips that we lead for dads and their kiddos. And this one was a father son canoe trip on the green river. It is just, that's amazing, amazing trip. And you can do down the green river and you're kind of in this really cool landscape. It's the high desert of Utah and into Colorado. And we go in July and as is really normal for that landscape, it's just hot.
05:19
Right? Like it's the middle of July, you're at 6,500 feet. And you know, it's 95 and the sun just feels like it's four inches away. Right. And, um, and it's, it's just super warm. Right. And so the beautiful thing is that the river is there, right. And we can swim and enjoy that. But nonetheless, it was kind of our last full day on the river, had this great chunk of time in the afternoon for dads and sons and all of us on the trip just to play and.
05:47
So this is the last day. How many days have you been out? Yes, we've been out four days. And so coming up on the on the very end of it, we've canoed a long ways. The dads and the sons have shared a boat, learned how to canoe together, you know, not flip their boat too many times. And it's just been a blast. So this afternoon is one really kind of the culmination of of our time. And so I'm standing there in the river and helping some guys fly fish. Super, it's super great. And a good buddy of mine who I've known for a long time.
06:17
is actually on the trip with his son and he and I are standing in the river. And to go along with the brutal heat is this kind of hot wind that just feels like you open the oven and it's not a cool breeze. It is this hot wind and sounds really attractive. Yeah, that part like it was not. And he and he and I are just like, man, this this is kind of hard. And, you know, as was common to when you reach towards the end of any sort of wilderness trip, like the common.
06:46
Conversation goes to like, oh man, when we get off trail or off river, I can't wait to have this food, right? Like this is this natural occurrence. And so that dynamic paired with the hot weather, I look over at him and I'm like, you know, right now Joel is his name. I would be just like a cold beer sounds so delicious. Like one cold beer to just totally savor in this 95 degree day with a hot oven wind and he's like, oh my gosh!
07:14
Oh, that sounds so good. Right. So we like start to salivate and we kind of because there's no place to go. Right. There's no you're out in the wilderness. You are like another 24, 36 hours or whatever until you're off the river and down. Exactly. Down. We're about 40 miles from the nearest town. I mean, we're in the middle of nowhere. All right. And so we kind of go about we continue to fish. And then like 30 minutes later, one of the river guides, who's one of the canoe guides, is like, hey,
07:42
Hey guys, guys, come over here. And me and Joel kind of walked down there and he said, yeah, I was just getting something out of the boat. And I saw this thing floating down the river and I grabbed it. And Joel and I are like, what? And he holds up this small white, blue-lidded Coleman cooler that's like, or surrounded in this mesh bag. So he holds the mesh bag and he's like, this just came floating down the river.
08:12
And we all like huddle around this little cooler and peel the lid off. And there's six Modelo cold beers. Like 30 minutes, right there, right there floating down the river 30 minutes after, you know, Joel and I were just like, oh, a cold beer sounds so delicious. And just like you and the bear, we just like looked around like.
08:36
What's now? Who heard us talking? Right. Godlike, are you for real? Let me let me let me float some beers down. However many miles you were down the river. Oh, my gosh. That's so great. Oh, wow. So there's there's that's a fun. What a wonderful coincidence. What a provision of God. He was playing with you, too. That's right. Playing with you, too. Wow. Well, Jesse, you this canoe trip. Yeah. Is is kind of your favorite. It is.
09:06
Yeah, I've been able to go on it the last like seven years. I guess there's one year I didn't go, but the last seven out of eight years I've gone. And it's really proved to be this kind of marker in my year that I look forward to this five days, taking 10 to 12 father-son pairs down the river and not only being able to share in the adventure, but really being able to be witness to dads pouring into their sons, to dads.
09:31
really marking this special time in their sons' life. The sons are like 12 to 14, and the fathers have the chance to usher them into manhood. And so to be able to bear witness to that has just been something that really does feel like a marker of my year that I look forward to every year. So that's like, you said eight years we've been doing that. Yeah. Seven years and on. And what is it somewhere between like nine and 15 or whatever pairs that go? Yeah, yep, yep. So kind of a small group.
10:00
Which adds to the fun of it, right? There's probably, you know, total with the guides, like a group of 25 to 30 of us, depending on the year, and just is a total riot. Like it is a place where both the sons are beckoned into manhood. And one of the dads said it this year, like and the dads get to be boys again as well. So through the play, through the canoeing, it really is a tremendous gift to be able to be a part of. That's amazing. And like I just.
10:29
quick did the math. So if it's about 25 people and eight years worth, that's 200 people have been on the canoe trip. Yeah, it's wild. It's wild. That's amazing. So, uh, why do you love it? Other than what you just said, like you get to see the dads and the sons and all that kind of stuff. Like what about this space, this canoe trip actually resonates with something inside of you. So this year I was talking with my friend Trevor, who guided it with me,
10:59
And I was trying not to be overly dramatic. Sometimes that can happen. No, that's never never never here. But I was talking to I was trying to say, like, you know, over these past seven, eight years, what has been has been the goodness of this trip. And there's so many layers of it. But I feel like that place, the actual physical landscape has beckoned and initiated even a part of me. Hmm.
11:29
that there, this unique mix, the language we gave to it was both the young pieces of us, where we could play, where we could delight, we could revel, we could water fight, was given invitation, and also this older piece, like desiring testing, right? Desiring the sense of like, do I have what it takes to lead and to join God in what he wants to do? Like that interplay of young and old, of play and testing.
11:57
I felt like for me, just as an individual has initiated a part of me that God knew and that he saw. And so so that's why I love it, because each year it feels like that happens. Just a little bit more. Yeah. Oh, wow. I love that articulation. I love you guys talked about that. And yeah, yeah. And yeah. And what Trevor's done in how many years he's guided it for four now. So he's like.
12:25
The old savvy veteran also. OK, and so yeah, it really is. It is a pinch myself moment of like, oh, this I get to do this. Yeah. Oh, man. I that makes me think of a moment that I had this summer also on one of the experiences, fathering experiences that we do, the father trips. This is with the dads and daughters, younger daughters. So these daughters are like 10.
12:52
you know, 10 years old, 12 years old, somewhere in that range. And you were there, you were there with your daughter. And that was amazing to watch. But the, there was this one car that I was like on the welcome committee and I was at the front gate of everybody. And there was this one car that drove up and these, there was two dads and then two daughters in this car.
13:19
And the daughters were in the back seats, the dads were in the front. And it was clear that these daughters had given these dads a run for their money on the road. Okay. That they were like, these girls were super excited to be there and just so thrilled to have the weekend with their dad. And I could tell on the faces of the dads, like.
13:45
Oh, I don't know what I'm heading into. Here we go. We're like jumping off into this weekend and here we go. To watch those dads over the course and those girls over the course of those couple of days that we were together and some of the sweet, tender moments that they had. And there's some like high activity, big kind of go for it kind of moments. And then there's some really slow, soft, tender moments that.
14:12
the girls get with their dads and the dads get with their girls, that the juxtaposition of those two things of like, go for it, we're gonna like compete big. And also we're gonna sit and be in each other's presence in a really sweet and tender way. That juxtaposition, I just love that. And I just watched that car of girls and those two girls and those two dads.
14:41
watched them through the weekend really. And as they drove away, I remember seeing that the dads were in the front, the girls were in the back when they came, but when they left, it was the dad and the daughter in the front and the dad and the daughter in the back. And the shift in the sweetness of what that looked like between the two of them and how she just so much wanted for the weekend to continue.
15:08
because of the goodness that happened in between them. It was so, so sweet. I love that. That image says it all. And you know, I said there's like 200 guys that are, 200 people that had been on the canoe trip. There's probably pushing a thousand at this point that have been a part of that, that base camp that we do for the dads and daughters and dads and sons for the younger age too. And it just is so, so sweet to watch. Amazing. So Chris, we like, we, you and I could, you know,
15:36
Wax Poletta can relive the highlight reels of these trips for hours. Yeah. But why, why do we bring it up today and why? Yeah. Why bring it into this conversation? Well, because it is fall 2024 and we are opening registration for summer 2025. Yeah. And and here's the thing.
16:04
is that it is open now for early bird only. Yep, yep. Okay. Like there is a limited amount of time. There's a limited window when you can pay less, people pay less. So here's what we want. We're talking about this and it's not just about the open window and registration and all that you guys, it is about having an intentional plan for what you are thinking about for the next year of your child's life. Yes. Okay.
16:33
Well, right now in October, what do you want to be true about your next 12 months with your son or daughter when you're in October of next year? What do you want to be able to be said is true about your intention, about the experiences you've had, about the face that you've offered your son or daughter? Do you want, you know, like, what does that look like? It may, it may...
17:01
be, you know, one of the restoration project experiences might be one of those things. It may not. All we want is for you to be thinking about 12 months from now, from listening to this podcast, what do you want to be true? And how would you like to map that out for that next 12 months? Yep. Yep. Because if you don't map it out, something sweet, intentional may happen.
17:29
but likelihood is it'll just happen by mistake. What if you actually took the intention to say, hey, this is the year that I'm gonna do something. And you may have multiple children. And so you might have to choose, like this is the year for this one and next year will be the year for that one. And you know, whatever you want, but what is the path that you're gonna plan for your fathering for the next 12 months? And we hope that you'll join us on one of these experiences because
17:58
We want to give you a springboard into that intentional fathering for you to look forward to, for your child to look forward to, a hinge point moment to where, as Jesse, you just said, this has been an initiation of yourself as you've gone on these, let alone what's happened for the kids that you've brought and the kids that I've brought on these various experiences. So that is open and that's why we're kind of talking about it now because it's timely. It is.
18:28
And I think the other point too is, you know, a few episodes ago we talked about kind of the setting of the table metaphor that when we plan time and really try to craft time in an intentional way, the ways that when that happens, that God shows up and offers us a feast that we couldn't expect. You know, I think we've seen that happen on these experiences over and over again. And not to just put it on RP, but like for you as a dad,
18:57
with whether it's with us or not, but for you to think through, okay, these next 12 months I want to offer this to my son or my daughter and to actually methodically craft that with their heart in mind is to expect and anticipate God to show up in a similar way as the bear through the woods, as the floating cooler through the river, right? Like it is making yourself available to how, how he wants to move in your relationship with your son and your daughter. And if that's with us, great.
19:26
We wanna do that and make it easy for you. But if it's not like fantastic, go and craft that and have the intention of what you're talking about of the next 12 months of what do you want to be true and allow God to show up in that process. It's almost like this, maybe this is too overstated, but it's almost like a little bit of a dare of, not that we dare God, but it's a little bit like, hey, like show up. Like I'm putting my chips on the table. Like I'm going all in. I know you want to do wonderful things and.
19:54
I'm gonna take you for your word and show up. Yeah. And trust that, right? Yeah. Yes, absolutely. And I love that. It's kind of a dare, which you say the word dare. I think it's a step of faith. Yeah. It is like, I am gonna risk and be vulnerable in a way that I'm gonna say, hey, I'm gonna take this step and I hope you also take a step, God. Right? Will you show up also? Because I'm going to and every freaking time.
20:23
Every freaking time we have seen incredible things happen on these experiences. And also when we, you know, you've done this with your kids, I've done this with mine when we just do this on our own too. I hope that the beauty of doing it with restoration project is that you as a dad get to just sit down at an already set table. You don't have to be the one to set the table, right? We've got the table.
20:51
We've got the forks and knives, we've got the plates, we've got it all. In the same way, we're hoping that God's gonna show up. But we've set the table and you just as a dad get to sit down rather than having to try to figure it all out yourself. So- Totally. And wilderness experiences, back country experiences, all of that, we do that because we've also talked on the podcast about experience, story and blessing. But there's a lot of dads that are like-
21:19
super outdoorsman and there's some dads that are like, I have no idea what to do. I don't even know how to put up a tent. You guys, we want to lower the barrier for everybody to come on a canoe trip, to come on a backpacking trip, to come on an international trip with your child, to do some of these things so that you don't have to think about it all and just let us do all the work. Right. And you just get to come. And your focus is your child, not worrying about what's happening next.
21:49
It's so true. I'm like nodding my head so big right now because a few weeks ago, our family went on a camping trip and it was so great, like fantastic week. But what you're talking about is so true. You in that scenario are the guide. You are the dishwasher, the menu planner, you and your wife, probably. Like it's on you to make the thing happen. Right. And there's so much good about that, but to actually have a space where you can just show up to the table.
22:17
and you don't have to be the holder of the schedule and the holder of all the logistics. You can just be freed up to give your face, your attention, your smile to your son or your daughter. Such a wonderful gift. So good, yeah. Yeah. So give us details, Jesse, about the expeditions for next summer. Yeah, so as Chris said, we have experiences for dads with sons and daughters really aged like eight through 18. And so...
22:43
There's something for everyone. There's no experience required from a wilderness or international travel, anything like that. All of these are accessible to anyone. And like you said, we do have early bird that's open the month of October. And so this is the time that get in, get your spot reserved, both from the cheap price, but also like spots will fill up. There's limited spaces available. And so this is the time to mark your calendar, to get it planned out and do that. And so if you go to the website, rest
23:09
slash experiences, this is the place to go to see all of those offerings. Again, you can reserve your spot with a deposit and this is the time we're encouraging people to do that in the fall, prioritize it and make it happen. So whether or not you jump in with RP back to what we were saying before, what is your next summer going to look like? Kids are in school now. Kids are, you know, busy travels coming up for Thanksgiving and Christmas and all that kind of stuff and whatever. That's all great. That's all normal.
23:37
You only have so many summers. Yep. And taking a vacation, doing a camping trip like that with a family, do it, please go do those kinds of things. And what are you intentionally gonna do with each one of your children over the course of the next 12 months? Make sure that you have a plan. And that plan is something that is full of thought and intention and purpose and desire and gives the attention and intention.
24:05
to each one of the kids that God has given you. And for those of you guys that don't have children who are listening, these experiences, they're a couple of things. We've got experiences for men only. We've already talked about that a couple of times. So we've got experiences for just you as well, but also as a part of the grove, which we've talked about, as a part of the journey of learning how to be a restorative man, you do not need to have biological children
24:35
to father other people. Yeah. By nature, as a man, you are given the gift of fathering. And so as part of the Grove, like we help train you to guide and lead these experiences. And we have had men come on these fathering experiences to help guide staff lead who do not have children.
25:01
And so we would love for you to think about like, how can you participate in the fathering journey of God, even if you yourself don't have children? So all of that, I could say so much more about all of that, but would love for you to even think about finding a grove and starting that journey for you so that you can participate in helping to guide and lead these kinds of things in the future. So. For sure. All right, Jesse, thanks. We'll talk to you next time. Thanks, Chris.