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Did you know that a mentor wears three hats? Sometimes it's one at a time. Sometimes it's all three in the same mentoring encounter. But at some point in the relationship, every mentor will fill the role of the farmer, the miner, and the tour guide. So what do each of these roles do? John Barnard is back with Zach this week for the second episode of our Pillars of Mentoring series to define how to fill each of these roles.
Show Notes
Did you know that a mentor wears three hats? Sometimes it's one at a time. Sometimes it's all three in the same mentoring encounter. But at some point in the relationship, every mentor will fill the role of the farmer, the miner, and the tour guide. So what do each of these roles do? John Barnard is back with Zach this week for the second episode of our Pillars of Mentoring series to define how to fill each of these roles.
Reach out to John:
john@middleman-ministries.org
Check out Middleman Ministries:
https://www.middleman-ministries.org
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Reach out to John:
john@middleman-ministries.org
Check out Middleman Ministries:
https://www.middleman-ministries.org
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:Mentors and mentoring leaders, Zach Arce here with the You Can Mentor podcast. I got 3 things that I would like to ask of you today. Number 1, if you are a mentoring organization and you would like to be on our podcast or learn more about the best practices of mentoring, please reach out to us, www.youcanmentor.com. You can send us an email, zachzach@youcanmentor.com, or stephen, that's with a ph@youcanmentor.com. You can also find us on social media.
Speaker 2:Give us that DM and we'll get back to you. We just wanna get to know you and we wanna learn more about what you're doing in your communities to advance mentoring. And we believe that interaction leads to innovation. So let's work together and advance the team in through mentoring. Number 2, if you know of someone who would benefit from the You Can Mentor podcast, please share our podcast, share our information with them.
Speaker 2:That would be super helpful. And then lastly, if you could rate our podcast on Apple Podcasts, give us that 5 star. It will help spread the word about mentoring and, you can mentor podcast. Because we really do want every mentoring org in America who is trying to make disciples through mentoring to know about us. We wanna get to know about them so we can learn from them and work together to help kids reach their full potential.
Speaker 2:So that's what I got. Please do those things. Reach out to us. Share and rate. Appreciate you.
Speaker 2:You can mentor. Welcome back to the You Can Mentor podcast. Zach Garza here with my man, John Barnard. John, say hi.
Speaker 3:Hello and good morning.
Speaker 2:Alright. Here we go. We're gonna continue our series on the pillars of mentoring. And today, we're gonna talk about the foundation of the pillars. We're we're gonna talk about 3 things.
Speaker 2:We're gonna talk about the hats that we wear as a mentor. 1 of those hats is a farmer. The next hat is a miner, and the 3rd hat is a tour guide. Now we're gonna get into that, but before we do, John, how's it going?
Speaker 3:Man, it's going really good. I'm glad to be here.
Speaker 2:Great. Hey. If y'all missed our episode last week, I encourage you to go back and hear it.
Speaker 3:Yep. It's only in, like, 30 minutes.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I was I was surprised that it was that short.
Speaker 3:But, dude, I feel like it is, like, packed with good stuff. You know what I mean? No filler.
Speaker 2:Well, of course, we feel that way.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And I bet you, like, immediate family members feel that way as well.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah. Like, my mom picked up our podcast this past week, and she's been texting me, telling me how awesome I am.
Speaker 3:Oh, man. She was so blessed by it. And it helps. You know? It helps.
Speaker 3:Encouraging. Yeah.
Speaker 2:For sure. Okay. Well, if you missed last week's, then one, you missed our nickname, fat and fine. I'm I'm fine, and you're fat.
Speaker 3:You are fine, and I'm fat. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Which that's not like it's a
Speaker 3:Yeah. It's not like we're not describing how you look or how we feel about you.
Speaker 2:Yeah. This isn't like you're fat because Right. You're not fat.
Speaker 3:Is it is it fat, or is it pH fat? No.
Speaker 2:It's no. It's definitely not that. Gosh. We're getting a lot of fat.
Speaker 3:People don't even know what that means.
Speaker 2:Sure. They do.
Speaker 3:Okay. Your listeners do.
Speaker 2:Okay, John. So tell us what we talked about last week.
Speaker 3:So do you remember his name? Mephibosheth. Man,
Speaker 2:that's it. 2nd Samuel 89. Is that right?
Speaker 3:You got it. King David, Mephibosheth, this beautiful account of of grace. And, really, what this passage gives us is the IPC. It gives us identity, purpose, and community really fleshed out in a beautiful way so that we can understand all the dynamics that were going on within this relationship between David and Mephibosheth and understanding, man, what what what we get out of our relationship with the Lord, how we find our identity and our purpose in our community in him, and then how we also get to transfer that onto the mentee and how we want to be people of margin, that we have something to give, that we have our time to give, that we can speak identity, purpose, and community into the people that god puts in our path.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And how us as mentors, we have the opportunity to invite the mentee into our lives. We have the opportunity to call them a different name, to give them a purpose, and then to invite them into our community. Not once a month, not once a year, but in every day you have a seat at my table whenever you want. And so last week was kind of the story that introed the pillars of mentoring.
Speaker 2:Today, we're going to talk about the 3 hats. And this is kind of preparing the way, preparing the land as we get into, in the next couple weeks, the identity, purpose, and community, the IPC, the 3 pillars.
Speaker 3:For sure.
Speaker 2:So today, we're kinda setting the table. Last week, we set the table. Next week, we're gonna set the table. There's it's a big table. Okay?
Speaker 2:Lot of setting up. Yeah. And so Is
Speaker 3:it a big, big table with lots and lots
Speaker 2:of food? Do you remember that of course, you remember that song.
Speaker 3:I do.
Speaker 2:It's a big, big house. A big, big house.
Speaker 3:In the yard? Do you remember?
Speaker 2:Where you can play football. Of course, I remember that. Gosh. If you if you went to church or were part of a youth group in the mid nineties, you for sure know that stuff.
Speaker 3:You for sure know that.
Speaker 2:Okay. So today we're talking about the 3 hats you wear as a mentor. Why don't you just kinda prepare us for this and just tell us, 1, how this came about, 2, talk about our conversation yesterday, and then 3, just open it up?
Speaker 3:For sure.
Speaker 2:Go for it.
Speaker 3:So this is what's cool, Zach, is that I I think that this resource is something that the mentor can say, look. I'm gonna take my time with this thing, and I want you guys to give me some tools for what I'm doing, whether it's initiating a mentoring relationship or whether you're right in the midstream of of mentoring others. Like, hey. My time is valuable. I've got 30 minutes to an hour.
Speaker 3:You know, give me something applicable and and give me some real tools here. But I really wanna kinda challenge us to take just a step back away from that and understand that I think if we're going to be any really good to anybody, we really do need to be prepared. We do need to be in a place where we have just kind of prepared our hearts to say just like when you start the day. Right? Brennan Manning said in a in a really in one of his books that, you know, I initiate every day by as soon as my eyes open before my feet hit the floor, I wanna say the Lord's prayer.
Speaker 3:And I think, well, isn't that exactly how we should all kind of start the day before we get into all the menial tasks and all the putting out all the fires? Why wouldn't we just say, you know, again, our father in heaven, your name is holy. You know, thank you for these things. God, please do these things. Make it on earth as it as it is in heaven.
Speaker 3:Okay. Now let's go. Right? I think when it comes to the things that we wanna offer your listeners, it's so important for us to be able to say, hey, let's let's kinda give you some some preparation to really be thinking about these these things. Let let's maybe hand you some lenses to see through it.
Speaker 3:Let's maybe hand you some filters to to run everything that that you do through this so that you can be mindful. It's that idea of being mindful and prepared for what God has for you as you relate to others and as you as you're out there mentoring. Okay. So one way that we do that is essentially what you just mentioned, the 3 hats that we wear as a mentor. And I would share that I don't I don't believe that these are exclusive.
Speaker 3:I don't think that we're sharing with you. Hey. Try to find, you know, which type are you out of these 3? That's not what we're talking about. I think what we're doing is just being able to share these metaphors that really kind of open up and and begin to inform how we mentor and and all the nuances of what mentoring is.
Speaker 2:And I think that that's so true, John, because at any given moment, in any conversation, you as a mentor have to be cognizant enough to know what's going on underneath the surface. So with these three hats that we're about to talk about, you can literally wear a different hat midway through a conversation. You might say one thing, and you're like, okay. I have on the hat of a farmer. But in the very next sentence, you might be wearing the hat of a miner.
Speaker 2:And in the very next sentence, you might be wearing the hat of a tour guide. Absolutely. So it's kind of having that intentionality. It's having the purpose behind the words that you say because the words that you say are so very important. And you have to know whether you are encouraging them or setting them up for the future or instilling identity or, like, doing all of these things.
Speaker 2:So it's just a chance for us as a mentor to know that we don't have one job, but instead, we have an opportunity to do a multitude of things.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. Absolutely. So just as you mentioned, you know, I I get to say this a lot to people because when they think about when I'm trying to kind of relate the difference of what mentoring is to maybe other types of ministry, I say this a lot. I say that mentoring is farming. Okay?
Speaker 3:So thinking about what it means to wear the hat of the farmer. We do what we do on a daily basis. Right? You think about those who go out and who are responsible for actually cultivating the very food that we eat. Okay?
Speaker 3:That is a daily job of tending to, of doing different types of work, whether it's planting the seed, whether it's caring for that seed, whether it's working the soil, whether it is then being able to spend that time making sure that everything remains healthy in the in the intermediate time. And then as you go to reap the harvest, right, as you go to to to see, okay, what can I what can I now take from you know, what's the fruit that I can now pick from this situation? And then let that be a blessing to others. So farming can be a thankless job, you know, when you think about it. It's the it's the day to day work that is not always Instagramable.
Speaker 3:Right? It's not always celebrated, but it is just something that that the mentor decides to continue to invest in a person. And and so I think that that's why that mentoring as a as a farmer is such a strong analogy.
Speaker 2:So one of my best friends, Ty, Ty, if you are listening to this, what's up, Dave? Ty's a rancher in Montana. Now not the same as farming, but same concept, more or less. And I took a trip to go see Ty this past winter, and every morning we had to do the exact same thing. And Ty has to do this every single day, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Speaker 2:Doesn't matter if it's cold, hot, raining, snowing, doesn't matter. He has to feed the cattle. He has to put out hay, which is the same thing as feeding the cattle. He has to make sure that all of the fences are shut. He has to go to the water tank and make sure that it's filled up.
Speaker 2:He has to take the ice from the water tank, and he has to bust it up so the cows can come over and they can get some water. And he has to do this every single day. And it's kind of boring. It's kinda thankless. It's not sexy.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. But it's what he has to do if he wants a ranch that is well working.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And it's the exact same thing with us as mentors. We have to consistently make sure that we're talking to our mentees. We have to pray for them. We have to go to their football games, choir concerts, etcetera. We have to ask them questions.
Speaker 2:We have to talk to their parents. We have to do these things that seem on the outside that they're kinda minor, and it really isn't isn't a big deal. But, really, it's those small, simple day to day things that lead us to fruit.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. And I think when I think about this too, I think, man, you know, this can be a struggle for some, even some personality types, kinda like myself. Those of us who are kind of emotionally driven, we're we're maybe creative, and so we get really fired up about something, and and we just are all about that thing. Right? And so for a time, for a season, you know, we're all jazzed up about doing a doing a thing, being a part of something, creating something, initiating a relationship, or, you know, maybe we you get in and you get to be like the chapel for a a chaplain for the football team.
Speaker 3:Right? So you're all about that. But if we're kinda run by our emotions or we're or we're highly influenced by them, it can be a struggle. Because when that motivation runs out, this is what we kind of learned from the farmer is that, hey, man. It doesn't matter how you feel about that thing.
Speaker 3:You know, you gotta get out there tomorrow morning before the sun's up, and you've gotta go do that thing because you made a commitment to that thing. Or if you wanna see this thing to to fruition, you gotta put the work in.
Speaker 2:Which takes discipline, which takes faith, which takes perseverance. It takes being consistent. And those are things that can be really hard for some people. Yes. Really hard for most people.
Speaker 2:And then after all that, we have to know that we know that we are ultimately not totally responsible, and it's not 100% up to us how things turn out.
Speaker 3:Right. There's no there's no guarantee in farming.
Speaker 2:There's no guarantee in
Speaker 3:the Mentor. You can do all the work. You can show up, and that's the beauty of this thing is I would I'd really say what's what's the key to understanding the Mentor as Farmer? It's understanding that God is sovereign and that this is his work. Right?
Speaker 3:That the Holy Spirit is at work. We've been called to do our work and and do the things that God empowers us to do, but is that any guarantee that this relationship or that this mentee is going to be successful? It's really not. Ultimately, it's the Lord's work. It's it's God transforming the hearts of the people that he loves.
Speaker 3:And sometimes it can be really discouraging when we invest in someone, say, day to day, maybe even year to year, and that person has a falling out or struggles and and maybe gets back into an addiction or something like that. Right? And so this is why it's important for us to remember that just like the farmer can't guarantee that the yield will be there at the end of the season, we have to remember that, again, we're doing the Lord's work, but we're there are no guarantees that that our mentee is going to be where we where we hope that they would be, right, as we pray for them.
Speaker 2:I got 2 stories. And if you've heard this podcast for a while, you have heard these stories because I tell them often. But I'm reminded of the first first Corinthians 3, I think. I could be wrong. But I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.
Speaker 2:So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. But it's not up to us. It's up to God. God is sovereign.
Speaker 2:And for those of you guys who don't know, I mentored a kid for 3 years, almost 4, and me and my wife invested a ton into him. And at first, it was awesome, and then the 2nd year it was okay, the 3rd year it got really, really difficult, and then ultimately it landed it it ended up with him going to prison. So here I am, I'm in charge of a mentoring organization, I'm teaching people how to mentor, and the kid who I'm mentoring goes to jail. Now, that's been probably 8 years ago, but I still look back and I ask myself, okay, what could have I done differently? What could have I done better?
Speaker 2:And, yeah, there's some things, of course. But at the end of the day, I was so focused on the fruit. I was so focused on what is my investment doing that I focused way more on the result than on the actual process.
Speaker 3:Isn't it incredible too when we think about, you know, those words that we wanna hear. Right? That we are that we look forward to, and our creator saying, well done, good and faithful servant. And to think, well, gosh, that must you know, if we're successful, and I'm making air quotes, then we'll hear that. But this is the beauty of mentoring as well, that it is about putting in that work.
Speaker 3:It is about doing the work and that investment and still being successful even if it didn't turn out as we as we thought it would. I think that's part of God's sovereignty as well that it's that it's his story as he is the one who's the director and and lover of our souls.
Speaker 2:So what is success? The world will say success is when your mentee goes to college, gets married, has a full time job, da da da da. But God says it's faithfulness. Right. God says it's you showing up and being like me and loving this kid unconditionally no matter what happens to him, no matter if he makes right choices or if he makes wrong choices or if he makes straight a's or if he makes straight f's.
Speaker 2:That doesn't matter. You focus on what you can control and trust that I'm up to the rest.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. And I and I think that your account also in this scripture really speaks into the fact that, man, if we're if we're looking to mentor so that we can be the hero, we're in the wrong business.
Speaker 2:Yeah. The second story is I had a friend of mine who's now in his sixties, but he and his wife, when they were in the in their twenties, discipled, quote, unquote, 15 young men who came kind of from some harder harder backgrounds. Every Sunday night, he'd have them over to their house, have pizza, talk about Jesus. They did this from 7th grade all the way through 12th grade. At the end of the 5 years, they all graduated from high school.
Speaker 2:There's 15 kids. 14 of them came back and said, thank you so much. We love this. This was the best part of our week. We appreciate you.
Speaker 2:There's one kid who never said thank you. There's 1 kid who never participated. Now, he showed up, but he never talked. And on the outside, it looked like these people didn't make a impact on his life. Well, fast forward 30 years, and my friend is filling up with gas.
Speaker 2:And he looks over, and there is this man, who's a large man, who's walking towards him. And my friend's sitting there like, what is going on? Well, this guy comes up and says, Hey, man. Is your name Kyle Martin? And my friend Kyle said, Yes.
Speaker 2:And this guy goes, hey, I haven't talked to you in a long time, but I want you to know that I'm a husband and a father now, and everything I learned about how to lead a family, I learned by watching you those Sunday nights in your living room. I couldn't say it then, but hear me say it now. Thank you for all that you did. And turned around and left. It was that one kid.
Speaker 2:For 30 years, my friend and his wife thought that they failed, quote unquote failed with this kid. But what they did was for 5 straight years, they tossed seeds. And someone, somewhere along the line, watered those seeds. And it turned out that they tossed those seeds and God worked unbeknownst to them. So it might be that you're investing into a kid, and you're seeing no fruit.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. It might be that he's not talking to you. It might be that they're not participating, or they're not calling you back. It might look on the outside, like, everything's going wrong, but God might be doing something in their hearts.
Speaker 3:Man, no kidding. Crazy. The work of the mentor. Right? I mean, it really is.
Speaker 3:I mean, when we think about it, it's never been more difficult to maybe understand and maybe stay encouraged in this because we live in an age where we want to automate everything, And automation means that we are taking a step back from actually being involved in the process. Right? And, also, we want instant results in things. Think about how many things in our lives where we we kick them out if we're not seeing what we wanted what we had hoped instantly. And so such a reminder to say, look.
Speaker 3:It it might be years years decades, right, before we even see and we may not even we may not even ever hear about the impact that we made, but that's not the motivation here.
Speaker 2:So if you wanna take this even further, think about the work of farming. Think about how messy it is. Think about how it's hard work. Think about tilling up the soil. Think about how how much effort it takes to take something that's really, really hard and to make it soft, and then to take the seed, and to plant the seed, and to water the seed, and do all of that stuff.
Speaker 2:Think think about how much work that takes. And then you think about seasons, and then you think about storms. You you think about all the things that can influence a farmer that you have no control over. I mean, that's nuts.
Speaker 3:No kidding.
Speaker 2:Why don't you talk about that some, John?
Speaker 3:Pray for rain.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Right.
Speaker 3:Well, that's exactly it. I mean, that really is what we're what we're talking about today, and I think that's why it's so so important and probably primarily speaking that why the hat of the of the farmer is so important. So it's just about having that that total dependence on what on what the lord is doing, where we have the perspective of on the ground. Right? It's almost like the old analogy of when you're standing at a parade, you know, you can only see what's in front of you at any given time.
Speaker 3:But if you go to the top of a building, well, you can see the entire parade. So that's a matter of perspective. Sometimes it can be so discouraging because we're on the ground level doing the work of the mentor, and we're only seeing what's in front of us, and we have no idea what's to come. And, you know, how often does that kind of inform our fears and our doubts?
Speaker 2:But the Lord sees the end. Absolutely. His perspective is greater than ours. And the only thing that we can be doing is focus in on regular intentional living, on tossing the seeds, on doing the day to day stuff, on calling them, on showing up, supporting them, not necessarily fixing, not necessarily giving the solutions, not necessarily seeing fruit, but just listening and praying for and being there for them. Definitely.
Speaker 2:Great.
Speaker 3:That's what we learned from the farmer.
Speaker 2:Oh, the farmer. Oh, Farmer Joe or Farmer Jan.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, Farmer Paul. Just any
Speaker 3:Yeah. Or Farmer Javier.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yes. I mean, you just can insert a name.
Speaker 3:Definitely. We could sit here for the next 20 minutes
Speaker 2:And just say names. Alright. We're getting off track. Sorry about that. Okay.
Speaker 2:So what's next, John?
Speaker 3:Alright. Let's talk about the hat of the miner or maybe the hard hat of the miner? Oh, nice. Yeah, man. There.
Speaker 3:You get that? So the the I guess it's a straw hat for the farmer, cowboy hat, sombrero. Possibly. The miner, dude, he's wearing a hard hat.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:He or she. And what's on what's on that hard hat, by the way?
Speaker 2:A light. A Woah. Just I'm thinking of there's a cartoon that my kids watch that has a minor maybe it's a construction worker. I don't know. Either way, he's got a hat.
Speaker 2:It's yellow, and it has a light on it.
Speaker 3:Bob the builder perhaps?
Speaker 2:Yes. Yeah.
Speaker 3:He's he's in construction.
Speaker 2:Okay. Sorry.
Speaker 3:But I'm sure that there are opportunities for him to wear a little hat, you know, a little a little light on his on his helmet. So what do we get from the miner? Well, this is this is kinda what we get. This this is why this metaphor really works for us with the mentor. The miner goes down deep into the cave.
Speaker 3:Right? Here's what I think that we struggle with sometimes when when we think about what ministry is and how it works. Let's just kinda take did you did you go to mission trips? No. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Of course. When you're a kid? Of course. High school and that kind of stuff. Alright.
Speaker 3:I don't know if you ever maybe wore a t shirt that said but and listen. I don't wanna offend anybody or say that, you know, I'm not that guy. Alright? But here's the deal. You know, you might have worn a shirt that said something like, you know, taking Jesus to the world.
Speaker 3:Have you ever heard that kind of expression or that sentiment?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Sure.
Speaker 3:Okay. There's something problematic about that.
Speaker 2:K.
Speaker 3:Right? Can you tell me what it is?
Speaker 2:Nope. I have no idea.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay. Great. This is really good. Well, this is what I think. And and again, man, you're free to push back against this.
Speaker 2:You don't have to take Jesus to the world because he's there already.
Speaker 3:That's exactly it, Zach. I'm glad you you took a couple of beats there. Mark. That's exactly it. See, if we're not careful, we can think that we are the one who is bringing Holy Spirit into a situation.
Speaker 3:Right? Or or that we are the that we're we are certainly the carrier because we have Holy Spirit inside. However, we have to remember that, you know what, God is at work where we're where we're going. If we go on Tuesdays, you know, during lunch to go sit down with that mentee and just spend 30 minutes with them, it is not as if we are we are bringing God into the room. Right?
Speaker 3:We we know that God loves this person and that is at work in their hearts, so he's already there. You know, the minor doesn't bring the precious, stones into the cave. They're already there, but they're there to be uncovered. So the work of the mentor, just like the minor, goes into a situation and just kinda maybe chips away or maybe blasts away what is not needed in order to get to the real heart of the issue to get to the value. Right?
Speaker 3:And that's that's what we find in the heart of a of a kid is that there is there is identity there. There is purpose there. There is the ability to to work in in beautiful community there. And so the mentor as as minor kinda goes in and discovers that, finds what is already there, and exposes it.
Speaker 2:So taking it a step further, what are some of the things that the mentor is chipping away?
Speaker 3:Well, think about what a what a mentee might be struggle what what could a mentee maybe be covered up in? Maybe it's the world that says, you know what? Just as we talked about with Mephibosheth. Hey. You know what?
Speaker 3:This guy, his legs are broken, by the way. Okay? So maybe maybe this is a kid that's defined by what they don't do well. Okay? Maybe this is a kid this that's dyslexic, has a learning disability, has a physical impairment.
Speaker 3:You know, take your pick. Maybe they're from the wrong part of town. Maybe they're from the wrong family. Maybe they've done things, and they've already got a record. Right?
Speaker 3:So the mentor comes into a relationship like that and says, man, look. When I look at you, I don't see these things. I don't I don't see the things that the world has labeled you with. I I get past that. You know?
Speaker 3:I I pull that away so that I can see and I can show you that what I see in you is something greater. I I see something that God has put within you, the identity that he has given you. Right? And based on that, what can you go and and do? What can you, you know, what is your function on this earth because God has has made you in his image and has given you these wonderful gifts?
Speaker 2:So I'm thinking fear. I'm thinking insecurity. I'm thinking loneliness. Those are the main things that I feel like a mentor has the opportunity to chip away
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:So that what is in the mind, the beautiful precious stone can shine to its fullest.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I think that that's so great.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So tell us what it takes to get down there to find the precious stone.
Speaker 3:Well, you know, just like the farmer. Right? It is the day to day. It's the thankless work. Maybe it's the work there in the dark.
Speaker 3:You know? It's not having that, Instagramable moment. It's not kind of doing what is, you know, the sexy work, but instead the day to day, the hard work. And, you know, we met, you know, for a for a 5th time, and I still don't feel like, you know, when you think about that language, I still don't feel like I have, like, broken the surface yet. You know?
Speaker 3:I'm still working to break the ice here. I'm still there's still something covering this ability to to really kinda let this maybe kid be vulnerable. You know? And so you think about that that it's just gonna take time. It might take days, weeks, months, or years to get to a point where you're able to have this person see, you know, the value of who they are.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And it's hard work, But I would say it's almost like the more difficulty you have to go through, the greater the reward.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:And so, like, one, you have to find the mind. You have to find the kid. You have to start to build a relationship with them. You have to put in the time to chip away at all of that stuff. And you do that by showing up.
Speaker 2:You do that by asking questions. You do that by persevering, by not giving up, by continuing to pursue. And then once they open up, once that that that precious stone is found, then you have an even greater opportunity to cut that stone in a way that makes it look even more beautiful, to polish it up some
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And to ultimately put it on display
Speaker 3:Absolutely. For
Speaker 2:the world to see.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. When, you know, when you think about the difference of of an uncut diamond. Right? And as someone look at that and say, well, it's not worth anything, but it is.
Speaker 3:It just hasn't gone through the process of being crafted, you know, and really being honed. It's the same thing. It just hasn't it hasn't had that time to become brilliant as what it's going to be, that's what the mentor does. Right? The mentor looks at the mentee and says, man, I don't see you for what you are right now.
Speaker 3:I don't see you for what you're what you're covered in. What I see is what's underneath that. And so that's the person that has the vision and the ability to just say, man, I think God's got a bigger story than the world's been telling you up to this point and maybe even what you've been believing about yourself up to this point. A lot of times that mentee has no idea of their capacity and of their potential. And so how important is it for a person of margin to come in and say, hey, there's more, man.
Speaker 3:You can do more. You know, you were you were built for more. You can have a successful career. You can have a healthy family. You can put the work in, and you can, again, rely on on the Lord to do so many great things in your life.
Speaker 3:And so that's what the mentor gets to do is to say there's value here. And I know it's not it's not being seen, but but I can see it.
Speaker 2:So it's almost like the farmer's preparing the land. It's preparing the foundation for the pillars to go into. Right? If we're gonna continue in with this analogy about the pillars, it is almost like whenever you find the precious stone, you're identifying it. You're giving this kid an identity.
Speaker 2:Hey, this is who you are. Mhmm. I know other people might have said that you're this, this, this. That's not true. You're this.
Speaker 2:And then what a great opportunity you have to bring other people around this kid, this mentee, to, 1, affirm what you see in them, but, 2, to surround them and to support them as they go through this process to become the best version of themselves.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then throughout this whole thing, there is an end goal, and that end goal is purpose because every different stone has a different purpose. And so while or as we're finding these stones, as we're identifying them, as they're going through the process with a community, that ultimately we are speaking purpose into them as well. So that whenever the process is done, they're going to go out and they're going to advance the kingdom in their own unique specific way.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. And this can look like a a number of different ways, and maybe even speaking specifically about it. Let's say that you've been in a relationship, a mentor relationship with a kid that you get to meet with on a daily basis or a weekly basis, maybe at school. And then you discovered that this kid shares with you, write his his notebook. And maybe it's that he's he's written poetry or maybe he has drawn.
Speaker 3:And, man, you know what? The mentor can come in to say to look at that and say, man, you've got some really great stuff here. Like, this is this is really I really appreciate this. And just a quick note, and it's funny that even even as I said, I've been in this situation with a kid before. And it's funny that you can you can kinda go one of 2 ways when you when you talk about what somebody maybe shares with you in a in a context like that.
Speaker 3:You can say something like, hey. This is really good. And what's funny about that is what you're saying is you're you're saying between this being valuable and not, it's valuable. But you can also say something like, hey. You know what?
Speaker 3:I really like this. And what's funny about saying that is the difference is you're not putting a value to it to say that it's good or bad. What you're what you're saying is that how you feel about it. Does that make sense? Mhmm.
Speaker 3:It's kind of an interesting way to think about that when we have these opportunities as a mentor to speak into something that a mentee may reveal to us about themselves, instead of kind of valuing it as being good or bad or or valuable or not, instead, maybe our initial response should be, I really enjoy this. It's always something to remember about, especially when it comes to a piece of art to say that, hey. I'm not one that's going to put a value on something because I can't speak to that. But what I can say is, hey. This this really connects with me at in at at the heart level, and I really think this is great.
Speaker 3:So, again, that would be just kind of a neat thing to remember so that we're not being a judge of something, but instead we're just being a real a real appreciator of it.
Speaker 2:And then, potentially, you can say, hey. Thank you so much for creating this. It gave me value. Yeah. It's it's it's kinda speaking back to their to their identity, to what they're creating, what their purpose is.
Speaker 2:Hey. Your purpose is helping me enjoy life.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. And I know that's a little bit of a rabbit to chase. However, that's just kind of a neat thing that you get to that you get to speak into. Another thing might be that once you kinda find that, let's just say, a kid really maybe his family life isn't so great, but yet you realize that as he speaks about his family, he really loves these people.
Speaker 3:And to be able to speak into that and say, hey, man. You know what? This might be one of those stones that you kind of uncover. You say, hey. I really feel like you've got a a real compassionate heart, you know, and you really care for others.
Speaker 3:And so I I hear you when you talk about these family members or when you talk about your friends. Like, man, you're really loyal. Like, you really care for these people. So it's just another opportunity. What you know, the idea of, like, what does it mean to kind of polish that stone?
Speaker 3:It would be to speak into these things and say, hey. When you talk about this or I this is what I'm hearing from you, and let me just say, like, I'm really impressed by that. And that's a really neat thing that will serve you well the rest of your life and and how you care for others.
Speaker 2:Also, this will be the last thing I say about it, but whenever you're mining for precious stones, you typically find more than one stone. Right? So it's like you're compassionate. That's a stone. You're hardworking.
Speaker 2:That's a stone. You're kind. That's a stone. And so you have an opportunity to and the more stones you find in a mine, the more valuable the mine is.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And so what a great opportunity you have to be intentional about chipping away, doing all the hard work to find as many stones as you possibly can.
Speaker 3:That's right. And be ready to find what whatever stone is there. I think that's a great point. Alright. We talked about the farmer.
Speaker 3:We talked about the miner. We're talking
Speaker 2:about kinda the foundation of IPC, of identity, purpose, community. And the last one, the tour guide, tell us about that.
Speaker 3:Yeah. The tour guide metaphor. So now, man, it's about being on the go. Right? As we go, the mentor is one that is not stationary, but realizes that life is a journey.
Speaker 3:Right? Life is a highway. And You learn as you go.
Speaker 2:Is that how it is?
Speaker 3:Life's a dance. You learn as you go.
Speaker 2:There's a couple songs about life is a highway. Life is a highway. Highway. And I
Speaker 3:wanna yeah.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. Why not?
Speaker 3:I wanna drive it all night while we get to the theater. Okay. Then we're gonna edit all of that out.
Speaker 2:No. We're not. That's the thing. Anytime that you toss out I mean, that's risky, John. Alright.
Speaker 2:Please continue.
Speaker 3:So you think about it. If you've ever gone somewhere, maybe it's to a state park with a ranger kinda giving you a tour or maybe it's, you know, some really nice big, mansion somewhere that has a staff that will lead you along and kinda give you all the historical information. What I always love about that with the tour guide is that this is someone who is so well informed about where they are, right, that they are essentially an expert about it. So not only are they going to share with you kinda what they have prepared for you, but also, they're gonna be ready to kinda give you, you know, an opportunity just to say, hey. Are there any questions about anything?
Speaker 3:You know? And they're gonna be ready to to give even more information. And so when we think about that as a mentor, we think about, hey. You know, as we go together, as we kind of experience this together, a tour guide does not give a tour, you know, sitting behind a screen, right, but instead is is there in real time on location with the the those taking the tour as well, and so kind of interacting with that at the same time together. So I think it speaks to a lot of neat community that you get to enjoy and that you're just being mindful of the fact that, hey.
Speaker 3:I wanna bring my mentee along as we're kind of experiencing life together and take the opportunities for for teachable moments. You know? So it might be something that is, as far as structured for our our weekly time together and as we might talk about a topic or bring out, you know, a certain conversation. But think about also the mentor, how what a what a great afternoon you might have just to say, you know what, man? We're gonna go to the hardware store together because I gotta go get these things.
Speaker 3:You know? You're inviting the mentee kind of into your daily life, and you find tons of teachable moments in that as well and really find that God kinda gets to speak into and and inform what you get to share during those times as as they, as a mentor, maybe even get the opportunity to kind of see how you interact with life as you're living your life.
Speaker 2:Well, Anne, I think one thing that's so great about a tour guide is they point out things that look ordinary. They point out things that look like something that you wouldn't even that wouldn't even touch your eye, and they're able to say, although that looks simple, although that looks normal, it's not. And I think that we get to do that in the lives of our mentees as well.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. It's really give just tons of perspective. And you're right. Noticing something that might go unnoticeable, but saying, hey. Let's stop for a second.
Speaker 3:You know, did you did you see that? Right? Let's think about this, and how might this kind of become something that we just really understand the significance of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Like, I think about a story. I was hanging out with one of my mentors, and, I mean, I had been grabbing breakfast with this guy once a month for probably 2 to 3 years. And one day, we're talking, and he said, hey, Zach, is it cool if I point something out that I've noticed? I'm like, yeah, sure.
Speaker 2:And he said, we've been meeting for a while now, and I just want you to know that you don't ever ask me any questions. And the sign of a good relationship is you ask me questions and I ask you questions. And I just want you to know that that's something that I picked up on. And I never noticed that. I mean, that wasn't even on my radar.
Speaker 2:But what a great opportunity he gave me to say, although you've been doing this for your entire life, Zach, which is talking too much and not asking people, you know, their perspective on things, he gave me the opportunity to change. He He gave me the opportunity to get better because he pointed something out that I just totally missed. He's a tour guide.
Speaker 3:For sure.
Speaker 2:Great. So tell me tell me the best way to guide a mentee into what's best for
Speaker 3:him. Well, goodness. I think that when we really think about it, what a mentor gets to offer is health. Right? You know, I wanna be so careful when we talk about what it means to be a good person.
Speaker 3:I think sometimes we use that language of good and bad, you know, with a kid. Right? Oh, he's a good kid or, she's, you know, she's a bad kid. Mhmm. That good and bad can be so static, and it and it can also have this sense of permanence when we kinda label someone good and bad.
Speaker 3:But when we think about the the notion of health and unhealth, you know, thankfully, that is such a temporary situation because as we may experience some unhealth in our lives in a certain situation, what we get to enjoy from that is is really deliverance whether we medicate, right, or whether we take some time to let something kind of may physically heal. Right? So we may have a season of unhealth, but, ultimately, we get to be healthy after that, after the situation has been addressed. And so what we get to do as the mentor to wear these hats is to be people of health, to be people of margin that want to give that to others as well and want to expose that to our mentees. And so we can say, hey.
Speaker 3:I wanna I wanna focus on the positives. You know? I want to realize that there are some things that may need to be uncovered here or or kinda seen through so I can really get to what's important. So I can speak of of things of character. Right?
Speaker 3:And I can maybe give some advice of maybe just some practical things that you can try, some practices that will also have you experience this health as well. Because, listen, everything that we experience as a mentor is transferable, isn't it? Every practice that we get to enjoy that informs and and that affects our health spiritually, physically, mentally, these are all things that we can give away. None of these things are trademarked. Right?
Speaker 3:Everything that we experience throughout our days that bring us closer to the Lord, that make us good for others, and that bring us to a a headspace that where we can be productive and we can be helpful to others, these are all things that the mentor can give to the mentee. And so it's our job to really kind of identify these things and to then also be make them accessible. Right? Say, hey, you know what? You can you can do this too, man.
Speaker 3:These are these are things that I've learned as I've gone throughout the journey of life, and I know I'm a little bit ahead of you in this journey of life, but I wanna be able to now look back, and I wanna I wanna share them with you to say, hey. When I was your age, man, I really wish someone would have told me about this. Right? Or I really wish I would have been exposed to this. So why don't you try this out?
Speaker 3:You know? Why don't you start your days just by simply going to the Lord very first thing? You know? Before you do that that menial task of the day, why don't you just kinda commit to say, god, whatever you have for me today, I wanna follow through with that.
Speaker 2:And the tour guide gets to do all that. They get to guide through seasons. They get to guide through ups and downs. They get to guide through new experiences or challenges, and they get to be right alongside the mentee no matter what they go through.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. Good or bad. Right? Gets to speak perspective. Like, hey, I know that you've been having a really bad week.
Speaker 3:Let's talk about that. I wanna hear about that, man. You can you can even unload on me with that, but then I wanna be able to speak, hey, you might be struggling with these 2 things, but I wanna I wanna speak about these 3 things that maybe you missed along the way and be able to say, but remember but remember, God is with you. Right?
Speaker 2:Yeah. And it's supporting them as they go through their journey, but it's also including them onto your journey and exposing them to new things. And I think that that's great. Absolutely. Alright.
Speaker 2:So today we talked about the 3 hats that you wear as a mentor, the farmer, the miner, and the tour guide. And kinda what we're doing here is we're preparing to lead our mentees into these 3 pillars, the identity, purpose, and community. But the foundation is really you as the mentor, building a relationship where you're flexible, where you are adaptable, where you know because you've taken a step back, because you're intentional, because you're observant, you know what hat to wear to help this mentee become all that God has for them to be. Absolutely. So I think that that's huge because mentoring is fun.
Speaker 2:Got it. Just tossing seeds, the Lord's in control, showing up each and every day, doing those small tasks, chipping away to find that precious stone, being the tour guide, supporting them along the way, and ultimately helping this kid understand the process, helping them have a perspective of the Lord is sovereign, the Lord loves them, the Lord is for them, and just being there as they try to figure out life.
Speaker 3:You got it.
Speaker 2:Big deal. I love it. Alright. Next week, we're talking about what? Head, heart, hands.
Speaker 2:That's right. Haven't quite come come up with a title for it yet, but we're talking about those three things. It's gonna be good. It's our last set the table. It's our last episode on preparing to introduce IPC identity, purpose, I mean yes.
Speaker 2:Anything else, John?
Speaker 3:I think that's it.
Speaker 2:Alright. Great. Well, thank you for all of your wisdom. If you are listening at home, we hope you enjoyed it. Share this with a friend.
Speaker 2:Share it with your team if you're a part of a mentoring organization. Holler at us if you have any questions or anything like that and know that we love you. And if you missed everything that we talked about today, you missed out. But remember this, you can mentor.