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How Does She Do It? is a podcast about what sits underneath the roles women carry.
Hosted by Latasha Kennedy, the show explores motherhood at the intersection of faith, family and calling through honest conversations with women building meaningful lives. We talk about the decisions, systems, relationships, setbacks and support behind what everyone else sees.
These are not conversations with women who have everything figured out. They are conversations about becoming, choosing what matters, navigating seasons that stretch you and building a life that reflects what God has entrusted to you.
From marriage and motherhood to identity, health, work, purpose, money and the dreams that still matter, How Does She Do It? asks the question women are often thinking when they look at another woman’s life they admire:
"Geez, how does she do it?"
Well sis, it’s time to find out.
LATASHA (00:00)
Many people in business, regardless of whether they're moms or not, just kinda keep spinning their wheels and never really take the time to consider, do I even really want to do this?
KIM G (00:11)
I need to figure out what is a priority and do it now. What are the dreams that I've put on my shelf that I need to take that down and I need to get busy with this right?
LATASHA (00:28)
Kim, I am so excited to have you. Welcome to the show.
KIM G (00:32)
Latasha, thank you so much for having me.
LATASHA (00:35)
Your life is the definition of happy and full and you have four kids and there's a whole lot going on, I can imagine, at home. So give us sort of understanding of what a typical Tuesday looks like for you.
KIM G (00:52)
you have to pick Tuesdays. Sure. Absolutely. Monday is my weird day. I stack, I'd say 90% of my in-the-onice work on Mondays. So Tuesday is a great day to look at. Because we homeschool, we are able to we run on what we call ranch time. When you're tired, you go to bed. When you're done sleeping, you get up. And when you're hungry, you eat. It doesn't matter what time zone we're in, because we're right on the border between Pacific and Mountain.
And it doesn't matter what's going on. So on a typical Tuesday when the kids get up, which can be anywhere between six and seven in the morning, for those of adults who actually have clocks, they're heading into the kitchen. Let's get the cereal. I've got a baby, two babies still in diapers overnight, nurse the baby, get breakfast going. And then the goal is they go outside and play, and I get to sit down with my notebook.
And do what my three-year-old calls my thinking thoughts. Basically crawl back in bed and have a cup of coffee and my notebook and plan our day. And when I'm done there, we hit to the kitchen table for a little bit of homeschooling. And then the kids are back outside until lunch. Afternoon can be anything from maybe I come into the office, maybe doing some housework, doing some Marco Polos with some friends. I tell
Typically ends up working almost every day, but Monday is my big push in the office. Okay. Okay. And then somewhere in the late afternoon we're planning dinner, we go for our family walk, and I'm aiming to get all of those kids, my girls in bed by seven and my boys in bed by eight.
LATASHA (02:38)
how's that going? The do are they compliant?
KIM G (02:41)
You know what? Bedtime is not a struggle in my house. That's that is not a struggle. And I have to tell you one of my tips. Yes, please. Gummy vitamins. What do you mean? Right before bed. We call them their meds. And you know, I just get the Costco size gummy vitamins because they can ship it to me. And they're so excited to have their little candy, because it's a gummy vitamin, right? Tea, prayers into bed, easy peasy.
Now, I will be really honest, it does not mean that all of my kids get bathed every night. We just don't do that. I'm outnumbered. And when my husband is home, we co-cook dinner. He grills, I do the inside stuff, and then he puts the girls to bed while I clean the kitchen. But on those weeks when he works, I'm flying solo. So but that thankfully they don't argue with bedtime. And if the girls share a room, the boys share a room, and it's pretty.
Streamlined at this point.
LATASHA (03:40)
Got you. So it sounds like you guys have a system that you're working. And when your husband is there, he kind of plugs and play into the system, right? And then when hubby's not there, then mom is just handling it from beginning to end. And it still sounds like you have a really good system that you've tightened up and the kids are happy to follow.
KIM G (04:02)
We definitely do. And you have to understand, it's not like he just took a road job. He has been working away from home for weeks at a time since my oldest was born. So this has also been our experience. He's eight. My oldest is eight. Mm-hmm.
LATASHA (04:18)
So you guys have been doing this for a while.
KIM G (04:21)
What's really exciting is this year he took a new job that actually puts him home for real for seven days and then at work for seven days.
Up until this point, he would be gone anywhere from two to three weeks at a time. And home anywhere from 14 days to six weeks. And we never knew. We never knew. So that was really hard to get into rhythm. This week on, week off, it is such a a blessed life. Nope what the schedule looks like. Yeah.
LATASHA (04:55)
Well, I totally know what you feel, we how you feel because my husband is an internist and he has been a hospitalist for maybe the last ten, eleven years. And so his schedule was primarily seven days on, seven days off. He would come seven to seven, he'd come home every night, but then he transitioned to a different schedule where he makes his own schedule now, so he's home even more. So we like it because he
like you said, when he's home, he's involved, he's very hands-on. But when your husband is like invested in the work, it's it's a different rhythm for mom. And sh you really have to you are primary, you are emergency contact, you are, you know, there's just no flexibility. There's not much margin for error. So I I definitely, you know, understand and respect what you're doing over there because it's not
With without a schedule or a system, it's impossible. Like there's just no way you're gonna hold on to your sanity. So you definitely I definitely understand what you're saying about having a rhythm and a and a system.
KIM G (06:07)
Absolutely. Yeah. And it's always it's Ben such a game changer recognizing that it's one rhythm, one system when he's there, and one when he's not. And they're pretty different. It's not that he plugs into my rigid whatever. Right. We just have a different flow. And the kids must just accommodate that because Ben has such a different energy. Where I get high strung, he's real chill.
And vice versa, but mostly I'm the high strung one and he's just real chill. And it's wonderful being able to just tap out. Nope, I'm done. You go I'm done, you're the only 'cause what you know, when you're the only, it doesn't matter if you're if I'm overwhelmed, if I'm overtaxed, if I'm overtouched, if there's just too much noise, I can't tap out at all. Right. And when he's there, it could be like, I'm gonna go walk to the gate. I'll see you in God.
LATASHA (07:07)
You're I mean, these are all facts. And I know even when my husband is home, bedtime feels different because I call it the Daddy Club, legit club. Because the movies, the popcorn, I mean, you're seeing popcorn fly in the air. Sometimes they catch it, sometimes they don't. They're picking movies. They're not during school hours. I'm sorry, school days, but they're just picking movies at times when I'm like, aren't we supposed to be going to
bed and they're like, Mom, we're gonna hang out. Let's watch the movie. I can't. I I just I can't do it. I'm so sleepy. But they love it. My husband loves it. Video games just to the wee hours. And I'm like, we would never do that. I would never I wouldn't be an I can't do that. So he brings a different type of intensity to to the to our home that our kids love. And I don't try to interject or
stop it or shut them down because like you said it it's it's different it's necessary and then it gives me room to go do something else that ha is is more pleasurable and fun for me. Nothing maybe. Right? So okay so you have your youngest tell me again is how old
KIM G (08:26)
He actually just turned eighteen months old today.
LATASHA (08:29)
so you have a eighteen month old and then your oldest melas
is
KIM G (08:34)
Eight. My oldest son is eight. Yep. And then I have a five year old and a three year old.
LATASHA (08:40)
So you busy, busy because those are those are like the most curious years and you know, all the things. So I know that you have a system for the kids during the day with school and everything like that, and your mommy thoughts that your three-year-old has deemed important for you. So tell can you tell us more though about your schedule? How are you getting it done where you're helping other people reach their goals, their dreams?
In the midst of all the little people running around.
KIM G (09:12)
This is just such a great question because I wonder if some of your guests are like, I am like this is what we do and it happens at this time and we do it like this and that's non-me. No. Yeah. Okay, so I live and die in my business by my one subject, spiral bound college ruled notebooks. And they're all blue. They just all happen to be blue and they're numbered and they're dated.
So these are always my notebooks. This one happens to be number 52. I go through about one a month. And this is where I keep all of my to-do list items, all my thoughts, all my plans for the business. This is how I run the business. But here's the thing: every time I make my to-do list, I look at this and I say, okay, I can get half of that done today on a really good day. Then I tell myself, and the reality is, is I can get half of the half.
I guess all you math majors, that's a quarter. But when I think a half of a half, it makes me feel like I can do better. So if I'm looking at this list and I'm like, okay, if all I know I can do is my half of a half, what's my non-negotiable? What do I really have to do? Because I am not going to stay up late. My brain has like it comes to a grinding halt at about four PM. And by eight p.m. I'm toast.
Those boys are in bed. I am showering, having my cup of tea, and crawling into bed. And we don't have television. We are a no screen family. We don't have TV. We don't have iPads. We don't have tablets. My kids don't have phones. So there's no digital babysitter. we made that choice when we moved, when we moved from Arizona to New Mexico, when we came to the ranch. The television didn't. And I I will state like I'm like that can make parenting a lot harder.
When you're asking, like, how do I help people? How do I focus on my business? It's by focusing on what's really important and noticing the rhythms that projects will take over your life. The juice has to be worth the squeeze. And for the last year or so, that's really been my motto. Is the juice worth the squeeze? Is this big summit that I'm doing in my business? Is this big three-day event that I'm doing in my business? Is this email marketing that I'm doing my in my business?
Is the juice worth the squeeze? And I make sure that I have actual metrics on the adult part of my life, my business, where I can decide, okay, that effort wasn't worth what I got out. Let's not do it again. Or that effort would be worth what I got out, but the time got bloated. And then I'm not getting to spend enough time with my kids. Or the house is falling apart. Or
I'm not getting enough time for my own hobbies and my own spirituality. I have to keep, I don't want to say boundaries on that because I'm not always great with that. There's the seduction of getting to come in to work because it's adult. It's not kid. It's an it's an adult thing. And I take great satisfaction from it. But I'm always asking myself, am I hiding from the rest of my life in my office?
Is the activity that I'm doing in here, is it worth it? Am I reaching the people that I'm supposed to be reaching? Am I bringing in the income that I'm supposed to be bringing in? Or am I just looking busy for the sake of busy?
LATASHA (12:48)
That I mean, I think that part is so important because so often many people in business, regardless of whether they're moms or not, just kind of keep spinning their wheels and never really take the time to consider, do I even really want to do this? Is this really working? you know, and then they find themselves either overextended, super frustrated, and just ready to quit, you know? and so I love that you're asking really thoughtful.
personal questions to yourself and also while also keeping the children at the top of your priority list in terms of, okay, well, I'm gonna be gone for three days. I don't find this like super exciting. So like there it's just not meshing. It's not aligning, you know. So perhaps there's something else even more exciting for you after you give all these people all that you have to give, just pour out your whole heart into this three day summit. And then so I guess
redirect or or consider what could be next, right? For for the I what the the next event or the next product or service that you offer to your to your audience. Would you say that?
KIM G (14:01)
Absolutely. And I will say that there's if you're a business owner and a mom who's facing something like this, the question of is this worth it? There's a secondary question you have to ask yourself is is it worth it in general? And this one specific just isn't jiding. Right. Is there just something wrong with this launch or this event or this little season in your business? Like
For example, over over the weekend, 100% of my kids, plus myself, all got the pukies. That's not great energy to be walking in to the event. Right. And and the decision to retire this event was also made before we caught neurovirus. And and my husband was safe, he was at work, so he's good, thankfully. So when you're looking at making pivots and adjustments, look at
Data, not drama. Is the data supporting what you want to do or what you want to change rather than just your emotions. Cause you know, as an as a woman, as an and as mom, those emotions go up and down depending on where we are postpartum, where we're at in the cycle. For me, when was the last time I nursed the baby? Because that gets that happy hormone hit every time we go have a snuggle session. Those are
inconsistent places to move forward for your business, to make decisions. Those aren't great places to make decisions from. And as a woman, they impact us. So you can't pretend that they don't, but also don't give them extra weight.
LATASHA (15:45)
That's so good, Kim. It's so good. So I love that you're doing all this personal this internal work to really figure out where you should put your attention and intention. And but it still sounds like your core offer is still intact. Is that correct? Where you're helping message driven experts get their book out and into the world.
KIM G (16:13)
Absolutely. Nothing in what I do is changing. It's just a little bit of how I do it. And I have a full suite of courses and coaching and and all different types of offers. Just deciding that maybe delivering a bunch of content in a three day virtual room. Yeah. That doesn't sound like fun anymore. So we're not gonna do it anymore.
LATASHA (16:34)
I I totally respect that, especially when you're thinking about being touched all the time at home, all the words that you use at home. You're like, I I just don't want to do it. But tell I would love for you to tell our listeners more though about your core offer because I love that you have this opportunity to help experts be able to write, finally write the book within 15 minutes a day.
And that really feels like a lifeline, especially for the overextended mom who's like, I don't have time. Like I have the book in me. I always hear people tell me like they have a book in them. But the biggest struggle is really getting it out. So tell me, how did you come to it being enough to just do 15 minutes a day? And what would you tell the mom who would love to start writing a book but doesn't really know where to start?
KIM G (17:25)
So let's break this down. For the 15 minutes a day, this is what I call a mini goal. And I want you to look at it as the other non-negotiables that you have in your life. The thing that you don't go to bed without this being done. Take, for instance, brushing your teeth. Correct. Come on, there are some nights where we are so tired and so whatever. Just wish that's good enough. Yeah. Do we know that that's really not great?
Course, it's much better to do a really good job and do the flossing and the okay. But you don't go to bed without brushing your teeth. Right. Well, what we do is we look at the mini goal of writing your book as the same way. It's not only 15 minutes a day, it's minimum 15 minutes a day. So when everything is going off the rails and you're hiding in the bathroom with your notebook, you write for 15 minutes and you're like,
That was awful, but it's done now. And that writing can both the awful can both be this was really a slog. It was painful to get the words out. Or it can be the life is just like, I this was a big deal. Like I only had 15 minutes. geez. Then any day where you're in the flow and you have more time and everything is going well, don't stop at 15 minutes. And one thing that people miss.
When I talk about mini goals, this idea of writing your book in consistent 15-minute chunks of time every single day, you don't have to write well. I always say that I cannot edit what isn't on the page. But when you're so caught up in making whatever comes out perfect, then you're not writing. It's all bound up. Go ahead and really write and get that out.
And you know, I really work with nonfiction authors who are message driven, who are looking to have a book that in that tells their story, that shares their message, that builds their business. But none of that happens if you can't actually get the book out. Now there was a second part to your question, but I got all excited about 15 minutes a day. So what was your second part?
LATASHA (19:44)
I think I feel like you answered my question because I said essentially, what would you tell her?
KIM G (19:52)
wait, where would she start? Okay. She has solid. Where would you start? So this is a really interesting thing. I'm gonna tell you, don't start with trying to sit down and write your book. That is a recipe for frustration. Because what happens is you have this burst of excitement, of inspiration. You're like, I'm gonna write a book, and you charge out there and you get great words on the page and it feels so wonderful and it's juicy, and then the kids get the pukies. Or you get through all of that easy stuff.
That your brain like had kind of pre written for you and it just like bloop, here it is. And now you're stuck. And this is where you're really tempted to just put it down or go to AI. Don't go to AI. I'm gonna say that one more time and then we'll leave it alone. Do not use AI with your writing. Nothing good will come of that. It is not good for writing, sentence structure, your ideas. You need to have the human to human connection with your reader.
And we'll leave that alone for y'all. So where I would say is starting is know that that burst of inspiration is gonna wear off. And it's gonna wear off shockingly quickly. What you need is a plan. And that plan is two parts. The outline of your book. What are you gonna say? And and in what order are you gonna say it? And then what is actually your plan for finding your time in your day? And mom's.
You guys are sitting on a gold mined called the school pickup line. You are trapped right there. Put down your
Like like you're trapped. There is nothing that you can do and you have to be there five days a week. So put down your phone and pick up your pen and paper. Just you don't need it's not your notes app. You don't need all this fancy tech. Just write the way people have always written. And it's sometimes it's like however you have long in the school pickup line, that's what you had. And I actually had a client who wrote her entire book like that, twice a day in the school pickup line. She had two kids. That's and it works.
LATASHA (22:00)
I think that it is important for moms to really be able to tap into the thing that is that they really want and not just what they think they can have. And there really is a difference. And I think, you know, when even that inkling of could I possibly become an author? If you could just hold on to it a little bit every day and just step towards it a little bit more every day.
eventually you become an author. And it's like that for really anything that we've achieved. I think sometimes one dream seems more daunting than the other. But there's something all of us have achieved that at one point we thought we could not, or we thought was so daunting that it would it could just not happen for me. And so for me, it's something as simple as I remember when Squarespace first came out.
I was like, this is so complicated. Where's Wix? Where's Weebly? You know, it's just like I cannot deal. And then I just started learning a little bit at a time. And then I became a Squarespace Circle member and was designing brand designs and websites on Squarespace. Give us nothing. It was easy peasy. But at one point it was so, so daunting. And I just felt like I can't do it. But it wasn't until I actually just
Leaned in a little bit because new goals are intimidating. And I think they might be meant to be because they're causing you to be challenged in a way that perhaps you haven't been before. So if you've never written a book and you're trying to get to 150 pages and you don't even have an introduction yet, it can be it totally daunting. Embrace that. That's a real feeling. We all feel it. Every time we try to start something new, everyone's feeling that.
Right. But the only way to get to the other side is to just keep walking. We would never just stop walking towards our destination after we got out of the car because it's too far. We'd either get back in the car and drive there, or we'd just keep walking until we arrived. Right. So I think the same thing with a book, which ironically is something that it it's like write a book, it's daunting. It those two things just like it seem to just go together so well.
But I love how you've broken it down to using time that you already have to do something that you really wanna do and trading things that are not really benefiting you and or that you're not that don't spark joy anyway, and trading that for some doing something that you really wanna do, right?
KIM G (24:47)
Absolutely. And you know, as moms, there are so many things that we have to do that we don't want to do. Absolutely. Let me tell you how you can actually use that to get you closer to the dream of writing your book. Wow, yeah. All that stuff that you have to do that you don't want to do, but you have to do it. Uh-huh. Usually those things do not require your brain. It does not require your brain to wash the dishes, to fold the laundry, to vacuum. Like
Those household chores, we have to do it. And sure, maybe the kids help, maybe your husband helps, whatever. You all have stuff in your day that you have to do that you don't need a head, you don't need your brain for. Right. So turn off the podcast. Shh, that's kind of like sacrilegious, right? Because we're on a podcast, but turn room down whatever you've been to sharing her. Right. So listen to this podcast and saying, put down whatever
that.
background noise is that you're filling yourself up with, put it down and use this time to think about what you're gonna write next. So for years, I would get up at 5:30 in the morning because okay, I love I loved it. Before the kids were awake and I would come into the office and work. Well, after a few weeks of getting in here and going, what am I supposed to be doing? look, Facebook. And wasting my
precious alone time in the office to work, I realized that I needed to take my own advice. I shower at night. All I did was turn off the music when I was showering, turn off the internal chatter, and think about what did I need to accomplish in the office the next day.
LATASHA (26:36)
Yeah.
KIM G (26:36)
You do the same thing. You're washing the dishes. What am I going to write tomorrow at the school pickup line?
Then when you're there captive in the school pickup line, you have already pre-planned what you're going to write. No sacrifice required. All you're doing is taking time that you're already spending, but you're filling your head with the world instead of letting your own self talk to yourself. So when we go for our daily walks, we have no internet access. So I couldn't listen to a podcast, even if I wanted to.
But if you're always on your phone, if you're, okay, I'm gonna go for my walk and I'm gonna listen to three podcasts, listen to two and take that remainder time and just plan what you're gonna write. And here's the thing, when I started doing this in the shower, it went from taking the entire 10 minute shower, because we're moms and you took a shower quick, to two or maybe three minutes. And that was it. Then I have my next day planned because I was practicing it all the time.
So think about that. When you're at the gym, when you're driving, what if you just put down the exterior noise for just a few minutes? Planned what you were gonna write, and the next time you sit down to write, it's easier. I call this divorcing your writing time from your thinking time. And this is how you can double your writing time without sacrifice, without really giving up anything else. Not staying up later, not getting up earlier.
LATASHA (28:09)
Love that. Can you do you ever all have or have you ever recommended that your students use voice notes or you know, even in Microsoft, Google Docs and things like that, where you can literally just turn the mic on and just start talking or turn your phone on and start talking? have have your students ever done that? Have you ever done that?
KIM G (28:32)
It all depends on if they're an auditory processor. So look at that. If you can't actually think aloud, talk it out, then don't do that. Grab a pen and paper. So I know that that works for some people. I used to ghostwrite for a lady that she would get her idea on her walk and then she would come home and leave me like this giant voice note. And I would use that to write her articles. So if that works for you, go for it.
Otherwise, yeah, that notes app on your phone. Trust me, I live and die by my notebooks. And then the other one I want you to think about is go to Amazon and look up a product called Aqua Notes. Aqua Notes. It's a notepad that you put up in your shower with a little pencil. And so when you're having a shower thought, you just reach over and you can write it. And it's a waterproof notebook. Aqua Notes. I am not sponsored by Aqua Notes. It's it's a totally cool thing.
I gave it to my best friend one year for Christmas who's another author and she's like, This is amazing.
LATASHA (29:32)
Sounds like it's a game changer.
KIM G (29:35)
You know, and it's just when you're divorcing that writing time from your thinking time, it's just just take the notes enough to capture your idea so you have it ready when you go to sit down for your next writing session and keep writing. J just keep keep doing that process because you will, as your author journey, you will become a better author. But just like becoming a better watercolor artist, the only way I got better was practice.
Well the only way you become a better author is writing and nope, it's writing. Wait, midnight No, it's just writing. Sorry guys. It's just writing. And don't think that you're writing a whole book. You're writing a sentence and then a paragraph and then pages.
LATASHA (30:20)
Would you say for this for the writer or for the expert rather who's writing their book, would you recommend that they just push through the those four, five, six months and get that final draft before they put it in someone's hand to to proofread or edit? Or what what when do you feel like it's best to let someone else into their creative process?
KIM G (30:45)
So I think that you should hire a writing coach almost from the word go. Because it's going to save you time, effort, being lost, struggle. I don't like, and this is the business owner I mean talking, I don't like to have to pay for stuff more than once. Well, when you don't hire support from the get-go, you wander around lost, not knowing what you're doing. And just think about this. If you were going to train for a marathon,
You wouldn't just like start running, right? Like you would get help. And at some point, the free help that you can get, the free gifts, the free view YouTubes, whatever, that can only take you so far. And you need to talk to an expert. When I was backpacking, I love to go into REI and talk to other women who backpacked. Because we had it like, what's the best backpack for a woman with hips? How do I do this? How do I do that?
I was talking to an expert. So when you're writing your book, I firmly believe that you should get writing coaching as soon in the process as you can. Don't do this alone. Don't try to do the spaghetti at the wall. Now, when you're talking about getting feedback, that's where we get, that's where we can get real sticky. Because you don't want to get feedback from somebody who doesn't know.
LATASHA (32:09)
Course, right.
KIM G (32:11)
You would not have your friend who couldn't spell their way out of a paper bag read it to find your spelling errors. Right. You wouldn't have your mom read your book if she's not your target audience. Because your mom is either going to tell you it's awful because moms do that, or tell you it's wonderful because moms do that, and she'd be wrong on both accounts because she's not your target reader. So
I don't think that you should try for structural edits or copy edits in the writing process. But I do think that you should get coaching support, even just paid classes, while you are writing. But don't confuse the idea of taking classes on how to write with the action of writing. Because the two separate things. You still have to take that learned knowledge and turn it into activity knowledge.
Writing the book. But this is a really great question. Nobody's ever asked me this before. So yeah, I think you should get help and I think you should do it fast because I don't think you should have to struggle alone. As moms, we take on too much on our own and we often don't ask for the help that's offered. I'm looking at you, moms of toddlers and older. Is it a help when your toddler helps? Logically, no. But the reality
is.
It is actually healthy. When my oldest was three, he started putting away his own laundry. He didn't fold it. He just started stuffing it into the drawers. And what I realized was that that was actually a huge help for me. He's three. I don't need to fold this. Go put it in your drawers and be done with it.
LATASHA (33:56)
Yeah, yeah. I mean listen it's gonna be covered in applesauce. But
KIM G (34:01)
Great.
You know, we get why are we getting mad at our husbands for loading the dishwasher wrong? Dude, if it all sits, put the pod in, push the button and walk away. That was how
LATASHA (34:15)
So yeah.
KIM G (34:17)
Stop being offered help and not take it. Stop thinking that you have to figure out everything on your own self. It's okay to get support for your dreams. And, ladies, it is okay to invest in that support. It
LATASHA (34:33)
Yeah.
KIM G (34:34)
is okay to invest in yourself. You don't have to spend all your time, money, creativity, and effort on your family. It doesn't make you selfish if you say,
I'm gonna take this writing class. I'm gonna hire this writing coach. I'm gonna buy the good watercolor paint. It doesn't make you selfish. It shows to your family that you are worthy. And that's important.
LATASHA (34:58)
I agree. I I I totally agree. I think in the journey of motherhood, it's so important to embrace this journey as this expansive role that we do, not this trade of I don't get to be me anymore. I think that all that you are and all that you bring to the table should be brought to the journey of motherhood. And for those of us who are creative and love to write and color and play and water paint and all that makeup and
All the things that that doesn't have to be put aside just because you now are a mom. It's actually something that you get to bring to the table. I remember when my oldest son was three, four, and I didn't wear makeup every day. But if I had a meeting and I would go pick him up after the meeting, he would say, my goodness, the colors on your eyes. So pretty, mommy. And I was like, my gosh, thank
You a lot. But you think like he doesn't care. What's the big deal? But your kids, they care. They pay attention to the things that make you smile. They pay attention to when your when your crown is a little is tilted and when it's on firmly and tightly. Right. And I think that it's a beautiful gift to give to your kids to see you living fully and trying new things and failing and having missteps and being honest about.
the things that are working and the things that are not working. And, you know, your kids are like they're they're they're modeling, or rather you're modeling so much about life in front of them. And if you stop living it, then they stop getting cues about what's gonna work for them or what could work for them. And so I love what you're saying. I you know, so much of what you're saying is about take it's okay to prioritize yourself. It's okay for
for you to do things that spark joy for you too. And so in our home, we're a team. We, you know, everyone shares the spotlight. And I remember, I can't remember which kid it was, but it was another kid's turn to be in the spotlight, right? And I just I probably was my oldest and my youngest just he was like so into his outfit. And I was like, babe, no one's checking for you. Like this isn't your moment. You know I'm like
Yes, look nice, dress up, all the things, but we gotta go. You know, you have to like wrap this up because when it's your turn, we're all standing at the door ready to celebrate you. What are you doing? You know? So I think when we think about motherhood and we think about all these ways in which we have to put things aside and down, I love what you're saying, which is no, pick it up and then find someone to help you not just pick it up, but carry it.
And I think that's just such a powerful message because it really does give so many women. I know women say I don't need permission, but sometimes we do. We need the permission to stop caring so much about what other people are gonna think about what we're doing. Like if you want to write a book, sis, I want you to write the book. And there's so many of us who are like waiting to cheer you on and help and support you to get to that next step so that a year from now, you're like.
I wrote the book, you know? You can
KIM G (38:24)
the podcast and and tell us about your book. We'll be here cheering you on.
LATASHA (38:28)
Yes, absolutely. And I remember too, Kim, when I wanted to I was I spent a lot of time in front of the camera and I wanted to move behind the camera. And I remember thinking about some of my favorite films and what really moved me, you know, in those films. And I just decided I want to write like that. I want to understand what the ethos is that and all the things that are making me cry when I cry and all of that.
And to your point, I hired coaches, I worked with some of the best and really leaned in and I told my kids about it. I told my kids what I was after. Some I couldn't read the material to them, but but you know, but I had their support. And the the wonderful thing, my I guess my success story is that I went on I first of all, you can't produce a film that's not written, right? So
I had to write the film. I had to sit down every day, same time of day, and write that film. And I had peers and coaches that I would send my work to and they would just send it back with notes, galore. And there were times I was like, Yeah, I don't think I can do this. Maybe I'm really not cut out for this. And that's a real moment that we all have where we feel once again like
I'm I've bitten off more than I can chew. I can't really do it. But then to your point, Kim, when you have a coach and you have peers who actually are a part of that process, they're like, you have like been quiet for the last three days. Go back, get it together, figure it out. We'll be here waiting for that next draft. And without someone pulling on you like that, sometimes you will quit. So it's so important to have community and to have people who care about the finished product.
more sometimes than you do because of just where you are in your process. And yeah, so we fit I finished it, I produced it, and we won 21 awards for it. And so how do you get there? It's a long journey, you know, but how do you get there? One step at a time, one class at a time, one cry, one really good cry. Where you're like, I'm crying.
I just I just wanna be somebody just trying. I can't do it, you know? And then you get back up and you try again and you write some more and finally you have a finished product that you can be proud of. So I just really wanna encourage anyone who's listening to really just grab hold. If you have been wanting to write a book, Kim is speaking straight gems right now. She's dropping gems. We gotta pick them up so that we can finally have that product in our hand where it's your book.
written the way you want it to be written. So consider, yeah, getting a coach and just really leaning into that process. It sounds so fun and juicy anyway.
KIM G (41:24)
Absolutely. Yeah.
LATASHA (41:26)
So we talked a lot about your process and how you work with your clients. We talked about your kids and all of the cool stuff they're doing on the ranch. But I'd love to also learn a little bit more about you and your husband. I know that his journey is such that now you said he's home a l a lot more. You love the schedule that he has, but you guys have still been together travailing with your children for a while.
Tell us what s are some of your favorite ways to connect with him and you know, what has been sort of the thing that undergirds you your your marriage and your connection.
KIM G (42:04)
I love this question. I and I rarely get to talk about Ben. So yeah. This is great. Like, yeah, look let me brag on my husband here for while. I think some of the ways that works in our marriage is we make sure to talk about stuff that isn't just the kids. And you have to understand that for we've been married, it'll be ten years this year. Okay. yeah, 10 years. I hope it's something we figured out.
How old is my oldest? And then our wedding or whatever that is, plus one six weeks later is our wedding anniversary, because we got married and boom, got pregnant instantaneously. Wow. So you know, and Ben and I have been together about 14 years now. So we'll have been married. We've been married for nine. And through that entire time, the longest we've ever spent under one roof at one time is eight months. He's always had some type of road job.
Always. And what that means is you have to figure out what works for you. So for us, when we get on the phone, we make sure that he gets to tell me about his day, I get to tell them about his kids. And then I tell them about my day. And I really look at that as like, let me tell you what your what awesome things that your kids did. And I really try to brag on all of those ways that they were really awesome.
I didn't sometimes they weren't so awesome and we talk about that too. But another part of our marriage is making sure that we're both walking in faith, both together and separately. And one of the things that we both have is we we have a preacher guy who does a daily podcast that allows us to both listen to the same telling of the gospel separately on our own schedules.
But then we can get together later to talk about it. And I'm not saying like we do this every single day, but several times a week, we make sure that we're having that faith-filled check-in with ourselves and then with each other because we're separate a lot of the time. And one of the things with marriage is there are seasons where he's the one falling apart, and there's seasons where I'm the one falling apart. And we try to alternate, but when we're both falling apart.
'Cause it happens when we're both falling apart to lean into communication. And I never assume the Batman can read my mind. He does
LATASHA (44:41)
Good. That's really good.
KIM G (44:43)
shockingly well, but I never assume that he can read my mind. And I think that's just really important, especially it he can't just keep talking to him. And when I get stressed and try to not tell him stuff because I don't want to add to his stress.
Me walking around and stomping my little feet and acting all pissy makes everything worse. He knows something's wrong. He just doesn't know what. So you just tell him.
LATASHA (45:11)
Might as well.
KIM G (45:12)
Yeah.
LATASHA (45:13)
And so for you, it sounds like well, it sounds like, yeah, because like you said, you're not you spend so much of your time apart. If you don't communicate, then you don't you don't get to really enjoy the fruit of your relationship either, because that's really the nuts and bolts of it when you guys aren't together. Mm-hmm.
KIM G (45:34)
And because we live so rural, and when he's here, there is no such thing as date night. There is no like we have no child care ever. So there's no such thing as, we're gonna slip off and reconnect as a couple. No, we are a family. And so our reconnection as a couple gets to happen when he's on the road and we're on a phone. Cause we can talk after the kids go to bed. Yeah. And
It's figuring out what works for us and then not being afraid when it stopped working. Two years ago, his his a different road job, still flying helicopters, but for a different company, it wasn't working anymore. It was the stress from his job was getting into every single corner of our life, his health, my health, our family. And we made we made a choice and
we had to walk away from a really toxic situation for the sake of our family, for the sake of our marriage, and for the sake of his health. And it was a big paycheck we walked away from. But I never regret it because I got my husband back. And I needed that really badly. I had really missed it.
LATASHA (46:48)
You know, I don't think we talk enough about the sacrifices and the big choices that husbands make too, fathers make, on behalf of the family as it relates to their career. because in general, if if a married man is having a family, the wife is pregnant, right? Obviously, and is she may have to
Step away from work. She may go back sooner than later. She may not go back. I mean, like that story about mom, start, stop, and all the things in between, we understand we talk about often. But I find even in my own with my own marriage, you know, my husband has been incredibly thoughtful and willing to either not even engage or to walk away from things that just did not serve the family.
And sure, it served on the bottom line, but it didn't serve the family. And so I there will even be times where I was like, Are you sure? You know, because I mean, you sure? And and he was like, Absolutely. It's n it to your point, it wasn't worth it. And so I just trusted him and he's the one that has to get up and go do that work anyway. But I don't think that we talk a lot about their thought process.
And what it takes for them to do what they do and to hold the line for the amount of things that they are responsible for or that they own responsibility for. And I think that, you know, you talking about Ben and all the ways in which he or rather the the idea that there were there were things that were starting to leak into Ben's life, your marriage.
And and you guys together saying this isn't worth it and redefining what your marriage and what Ben's work would look like, I think it's very profound. And I I think it it's often sometimes so many times the key to really being able to get that fresh start and that fresh win, you know, into your journey that you wouldn't have had otherwise.
KIM G (49:01)
Absolutely. And leaving that job, and then he had like a year where he did a different all with helicopters that was also not great. And then the job that he's in now, the consistency of his schedule, it's the closest he's ever been. Cause usually he would work like a day's airplane ride away. So he would fly all over the country in an airplane, jet liner, and then pick up the helicopter and go and do stuff. So
He's also local. He's only like an hour and a half down the road. And sometimes when he's on shift, we can actually like go do our Walmart run and get to visit with him. That's been a game changer. And the kids are thrilled that Dad Dad is so close.
LATASHA (49:50)
I love that for them. But also it's so familiar because we had something similar like that happen in our home too, where because of our priorities, or rather, let me even double down and say my husband's priority, you know, he was unwilling to take some different jobs. And 'cause my husband's a locums doc now. So, you know, he has licenses in all these regions and states. And so he had opportunity to
do different jobs at these different hospitals. And he turned them down because our son's basketball season was starting. And he just wanted to be there. It was it. Like I just want to be there. And so we had a conversation about some other ventures that he had and could he find a way to move things around and make those things worth his while. And he was like, let's see, you know, but the priorities shifted
everything had he not cared or had that just not mattered, you know, he's just like, I gotta work. then we wouldn't have had that conversation. And that conversation led to game changing opportunities for him and then led to opportunities for him to pour even more into the kids. And so I just think it's so it's so interesting to me how our priorities opened up our world in ways that we could never really imagine.
You know what I mean? Yeah. And so I think, you know, if you're listening and you feel like there's something in your world that feels toxic, like Kim has said, or it's just not aligning with what really matters to you, it's worth praying about and it's worth trying to figure out if there's another way. Because there may be a game changing way that's on the other side of this very toxic, misaligned.
situation. Would you say the same, Kim?
KIM G (51:51)
Absolutely. And follow that up, Watasha was saying, don't cling to a bad decision because you've spent a lot of money or time invested in it.
LATASHA (52:04)
That's good. That's really good. Yeah.
KIM G (52:08)
You know, and as a business owner, sometimes there's stuff where it was like, okay, well, that was a huge monetary investment and it's not working. This is awful. I have to walk away. But your time is valuable, your peace of mind is valuable. It's okay to walk away. It is. My my dad, who is also a career entrepreneur, his big thing is always money as a renewable resource, but your dime is not.
And we are not promised any more time.
After my oldest daughter was born, she was six weeks old, and I went in for a routine gallbladder removal. Should have just been routine, except the surgeon basically lacerated my liver and caused massive internal bleeding. my god. And I spent four days in the ICU, another four days in a regular hospital unit, and the next eight months in my husband's lazy boy.
With a newborn, a toddler, and a walker, because I couldn't walk. Not only did this surgery gone sideways nearly kill me, but it made me reevaluate everything in my life. The all of those things that I had been putting off until the kids were older, until retirement, until I went, I don't I don't have an until. I am not promised an until.
To figure out what is a priority and do it now? What are the dreams that I have put on my shelf that I need to take that down and I need to get busy with this right now? And a mentor of mine once said, choose your regrets. Choose your regrets. So if you're faced with this decision, the I need to make a change, would you want to live like this for the next year, five years? If the answer is no, then fix it. Would you regret?
Would you look back and regret having done something or not having done something? When people are like, How did you end up with four kids? Right. well, when the opportunity arose to say, should we have another kid? We chose our regrets. And we would have regretted not growing our family. That's how we went from one to three kids. Four was a God surprise. Whoa, that was a total surprise.
LATASHA (54:35)
Bonne
KIM G (54:36)
it was so cool. God knew exactly what our family needed, bringing as yeah, that baby. But choose your regrets. Don't don't lock in to something just because you spent time or money getting yourself into that situation, or that it's going to cost time or money to get out of the situation.
LATASHA (54:58)
That's really good, Kim. And I think, you know, you know, so much of the choices that we make and that we end up serving, that's when you go back to that question, is this sparking joy? Is this necessary? Is this toxic? Yes, I've spent so much money, but yes, it's disappointing me. It's not rendering me any real return that I want or getting me any closer to the things that matter.
Then yeah, I I agree with you. I think sometimes you just have to cut your losses. And the best gift that we all have is time. And, you know, my son now, my oldest is 18. He's finishing up his freshman year in college. And he's he's, you know, he's still mama's baby and hugs and kisses and all the things. And even though I had so much time with him when he was little.
To do all the things, the Toys R Us, the scary things, the fun things, the Nerf Gun Wars, everything. when he graduated from high school, I was a mess because I was like, I want more time. You know? And it's like, I can't believe that 18 years has come and gone. And now here he is about to start his whole new chapter. And so yeah, I just think that, you know, there are so many things that appear to be more important.
And that pull on us and try to suggest that they're more important. But I think it's so important to start first with your own vision for your life and your family and with your own priorities. And it becomes so much more easier to say no, thank you, when those things are truly, truly defined. And most of us believe that we do have our priorities in set, but when you're waffling.
Between things that really should be a non-negotiable for you, that's a good indicator that you haven't really like settled in into that that particular thing being a priority. And life is so it's it's it's so much gray. So I'm not suggesting that that this is a black and white situation, but I am saying that the tighter you have your priorities dialed in, man.
Life gets a lot more easier, sustainable. Mm-hmm. You know, it comes a a lot easier to call the shots, if you will, is what I'm trying to say.
KIM G (57:32)
You have that really strong compass that says, no, this is not aligned with what I want, where I'm going, who I wanna be, who I wanna be with. It's so much easier to say, no, no, thank you. And I'm not glad to do that. Never mind. Moving on.
LATASHA (57:50)
I changed my mind. Yeah, yeah, for sure. my gosh, Kim, you have been so helpful in just really setting the tone for going after the things that we really want and being willing to just take baby steps until we get that big, big juicy finished product that we're all looking for. So thank you so much for coming through and for sharing with my listeners and all your your insights and your wisdom.
this is a great time for you to share with us where we can find you, how people can work with you. Tell us all the things.
KIM G (58:26)
Absolutely. And again, Latasha, thank you so much for having me. This has just been so much fun. Sweet hour fun. Like, enjoy it. Life is too short to only have the slogs. And that's not me. Sometimes sitting down to write your book isn't that fun that day. But it should be fun more days than it's not. More days. So you can find me. Again, I'm Kim Galloway. You can find me at New FrontierBooks.com.
dot com. So when you go to newfrontierbooks.com, you've got what we call my everything page, which is a listing of every single course, class, and coaching that I offer. You can sign up to get onto my weekly newsletter that comes out every single Tuesday with a tip, an article, and then I actually email my people every day, but the newsletter is my standard on Tuesdays.
You can sign up for that. You can read past blog articles. I'm not actually really on social media much. So your your target there is to go to newfrontierbooks.com. And if you go to newfrontierbooks.com forward slash everything, you get straight to that everything page with all of my all of my free and paid offers.
LATASHA (59:41)
Awesome. Thank you so much. Okay. So before I let you go though, I have a segment that I do with every guest and it's called the Pulse Check. And yes, and it's rapid fire. You cannot think about the question. You just have to answer it within the first five seconds. Okay.
KIM G (59:58)
All right.
LATASHA (59:59)
Absolutely no pressure. This is this is no pressure. Okay. So first question. It's four PM and you're hitting the wall. What is your go-to mom fuel?
KIM G (1:00:11)
Coffee? Yep.
LATASHA (1:00:14)
Yes. Yes. Okay. What is the one household chore you would happily delete from existence? Vacuum.
KIM G (1:00:22)
He made
LATASHA (1:00:23)
that's a good one. I I make my son vacuum. beyond being a mom and a writer, I am a woman who loves.
KIM G (1:00:32)
Art. Love art.
LATASHA (1:00:34)
Yes, mom. Yes. Saturday morning, two hours of pure unscripted freedom. Where are you going?
KIM G (1:00:43)
The river. The river. We live on a on a hundred and sixty acre ranch and we have about a pri we have about a mile of private river access where we own both sides of the river. So the river. Where's your river?
LATASHA (1:00:57)
Okay, go to the river. Okay. And if your kids had to sum up your mothering style in a single word, what do you hope that word would be?
KIM G (1:01:06)
Yes. I hope that they would know that I would say yes more than I would say no.
LATASHA (1:01:12)
I love that, Kim. Yeah.
KIM G (1:01:15)
Today
we had ice cream before lunch. So
LATASHA (1:01:18)
That's good. I'm sure their eyes are just like
KIM G (1:01:22)
Yeah, they're like, Can we have ice cream? And I'm like, Yeah. Can we have lunch after ice cream? Also, yes.
LATASHA (1:01:28)
I love that. I love that. Yeah. It makes it it it gives life like such a wonder when you can like
KIM G (1:01:36)
And what's
the point of homeschooling your kids if you can't sugar them up at eleven thirty on a Wednesday? Yeah. And then they had lunch and then I put the baby down for a nap and they said, Can we go play in the hose? Yes.
LATASHA (1:01:52)
We'll play those. Yeah. That sounds fun. That sounds like a lot of fun. I love that for your kids because kids, that's where how they're thriving, like in the water hoses and eating ice cream before they eat their lunch. So I have one last question to wrap this all up. And that is, you know, for our listeners, there's a mom that who's somewhere between girl, I got it and Jesus take the wheel.
And for that mom, what would you tell her is the best next thing she could do to really enjoy her journey as a mom?
KIM G (1:02:32)
You're doing far better than you think you are, mom. You, you actually are doing a fantastic job. And all of the ways that you think that you're falling apart and you're failing, your kids don't notice those. They see, are you happy? Do you and I'm not saying you have to play with them, but are you engaging with them or are you retreating into the film?
They don't see the ways that you think that you're falling apart. The leftovers for dinner, the dog hairs in the corner. They don't see that. They see you. So show them how much you love them. They don't notice all of the ways that you think you're failing because you're not, mom. You've got this. You are doing such an amazing job. Wow.
LATASHA (1:03:25)
That is such a powerful message. I love that so much, Kim. Thank you. Because I agree with you. I think motherhood is one of those things you feel like you're never, you know, doesn't matter how much you're doing. So many moms fall into the trap of I'm not enough and I'm not doing enough. And wondering, do my kids even like me? Do they love, you know? And it's like, yes, they do. They actually adore you. Yeah.
KIM G (1:03:51)
My husband's grandmother gave me the best piece of advice. We had literally just moved here to the ranch and they came to visit. And we had been here about six days. So we were covered in boxes. They stayed at a hotel half and half an hour down the road in town because we couldn't stay here. I had just had my third baby. We had just moved from Arizona to New Mexico. And she's a very proper seeming Southern lady, Ben's grandma.
Granny Mary. And she said, Kim, just play with them. They don't care if the dishes are done. They don't they don't care. Just go play. And for someone who I admire so much, Granny Mary, and for someone who just I fed in her house, it is immaculate. For someone who just said the all of that housework stuff, it's not not important. You don't
You don't want dust bunnies the size of the dog haired dust bunnies I swept up this morning. But she said, just just go play with them. The dishes like spend
LATASHA (1:04:58)
Okay.
KIM G (1:04:58)
your time making memories and less time trying to have the house be perfect. And now we're chaotic four. Because that was chaotic with three. And now we're chaotic with four. And there are days where I just cling to that. They don't know they don't remember.
That the dishes, that the kitchen was always spotless, or that it's always a mess. They remember when I say, yeah, let's go play in the house. Let's go to the river. Yes, let's have ice cream. Yes, let's do art. Yes, I will hug you again and again and again. That's really solid advice from Brandy Mary, Ben's grandma.
LATASHA (1:05:38)
We love Granny Mary. Thank you so much. And we want to shout out Granny Mary on the podcast too. Because we love our elders who continue to pour into us. And grandmothers are special. So they definitely have our heart. Thank you so much, Kim. I I can't thank you enough for sharing your insight, sharing your wisdom and being sharing it with so much passion. And and I just really I really appreciate you and I'm so excited.
to learn more about journey and support your journey and watch all the ways that your babies are growing as well. So ladies, that's all we have for today. Thank you so much for listening in today and I will see you on the next episode.