Whys & Finds

A few small steps in the same order every night: pajamas, teeth, a book, a favorite lovey and the same goodnight words.

Show Notes

What does a bedtime routine for a toddler look like?

A few small steps, in the same order, every night: pajamas, teeth, a book, a favorite blanket or stuffed animal, and the same goodnight words. Raising Children Network, an Australian parenting site supported by the Australian Government, says a bedtime routine is "a series of calming activities that happen in the same order each night." The NHS, the UK's public health service, says to have "a calming, predictable bedtime routine" that includes "the same things every night."

Ellie and Ben go through how each piece works. They talk about the favorite toy or blanket that is there every night, and why the book is time together. Ben adds his rule for a routine that lasts: build it for your worst night, not your easy ones. Questions about how much sleep, what time, or waking at night are for your pediatrician.

For story time, they look at a reading lamp with a warm light, which an adult turns on as part of the bedtime routine.

Sources:

Whys & Finds is made by Naturally KIDS.
This episode uses AI-generated voices for both hosts.

What is Whys & Finds?

The whys parents and gift-givers ask about little kids, and the finds that actually get used. On Whys & Finds, two hosts, Ellie and Ben, take one question per episode, answer it up front, and are honest about when something else would suit a child better. Both hosts are AI-generated voices. Made by Naturally KIDS.

Ben: It's the end of a long day. Your two-year-old is suddenly full of energy, and bedtime turns into an hour of back and forth. You keep hearing, "Just get a routine." Okay. What does that actually look like?

Ellie: Welcome to Whys & Finds. I'm Ellie.

Ben: And I'm Ben.

Ellie: Today: what does a bedtime routine for a toddler look like?

Ellie: It comes down to a few small steps, in the same order, every night. Pajamas. Teeth. A book. A favorite blanket or stuffed animal. The same goodnight words. Nothing fancy.

Ben: That's it? Pajamas and a book?

Ellie: That's the shape of it. Raising Children Network, an Australian parenting site supported by the Australian Government, puts it this way: "A bedtime routine is a series of calming activities that happen in the same order each night."

Ben: The same order. That's the part they lead with?

Ellie: It is. And their examples are close to my list. First, pre-bed tasks, "like having a bath and brushing teeth." Then a story. And at the end, in their words, "You and your child have a cuddle and a kiss goodnight."

Ben: Is that just one website's view?

Ellie: The NHS, the UK's public health service, says much the same. It says to have a calming, predictable bedtime routine that includes the same things every night.

Ben: Two countries, same idea.

Ellie: Same idea. The details are yours. What I won't do is tell you how many hours your child should sleep, or what time the lights go out. That's a question for your pediatrician.

Ben: Fair. So what can you tell me?

Ellie: How the pieces work. Let's go through them.

Ellie: Start with the blanket or the stuffed animal. The NHS has a line on this too. It says to give your child their favourite toy or comforter before settling into bed.

Ben: The lovey. The one that goes everywhere.

Ellie: That one. It's there for pajamas, it's there for the book, it's there for goodnight. Every night.

Ben: Does it have to be a special bedtime toy? Something you go out and buy?

Ellie: The NHS line is about their favourite toy or comforter. So if your child already has a favorite, that's the one. You don't need to buy anything.

Ben: Here's my practical problem. The lovey is in the routine every night. Then it gets left at Grandma's.

Ellie: Then it goes on the packing list for every trip. First line, before the pajamas.

Ben: Lovey first, toothbrush second.

Ellie: That's the order.

Ben: Next. Every bedtime list I've ever read says "read a book." Why the book?

Ellie: I'm not going to promise that a book makes anyone fall asleep. But look at how Raising Children Network words that step: "quiet, enjoyable activities with you, like reading or listening to a story."

Ben: "With you." So story time is less about the story and more about the two of you.

Ellie: That's how I read it. A few minutes where nobody's looking at a phone. And it says reading or listening. On a tired night, a story you tell from memory counts too.

Ben: And when she wants the same book every single night?

Ellie: Then it's the same book every single night. You'll know it by heart.

Ben: Word for word, probably.

Ben: Okay, the light. This is where I get stuck. Big ceiling light on, then dark? Something in between?

Ellie: For story time, some families like a warm light, from a reading lamp. An adult turns it on as part of the bedtime routine. The lamp stands on a dresser or a shelf, with an outlet close by.

Ben: Does it get hot? That's the first thing I'd ask.

Ellie: The Naturally KIDS lamps come with an LED bulb that stays cool during use.

Ben: So a warm light for the book, and that's it.

Ellie: That's its job. A warm light for the book.

Ben: But I can argue with your list. Pajamas, teeth, the lovey, the book, the lamp, the goodnight words. That's a lot for a parent who's been up since early morning.

Ellie: It is a list.

Ben: So I'd say: build the routine for your worst night, not your easy ones. If it only works when you have energy, it won't happen every night. Pick the three steps you can do half-asleep, and add the rest when you can.

Ellie: You're right. That's better than my version. A short routine you can do every night is still a routine. A long one you only manage half the time isn't.

Ben: And if someone else does bedtime? A grandparent, a sitter?

Ellie: Then show them the steps. Same order, same lovey, same book, same goodnight words.

Ellie: Now, a few different situations. If your evenings already work, keep them as they are. If you want one small change, try the same goodnight words every night. If the light you already have works for story time, keep it, and pick a new bedtime book instead. And if bedtime is a real struggle, night after night, or you have questions about how much sleep, what time, or waking at night, your pediatrician is the right person to ask.

Ben: Fair enough.

Ben: Okay, let me see if I've got it. One: a bedtime routine is a few small steps, in the same order, each night. That's how Raising Children Network and the NHS put it. Two: a favorite toy or blanket is part of it, and if your child has one, that's the one. Three: the book is time together, and on a tired night a story from memory counts. Four: build the routine for your worst night, not your easy ones. Five: for story time, a reading lamp with a warm light.

Ellie: You've got it.

Ellie: And if you're choosing a lamp for story time, Naturally KIDS makes animal-shaped kids' table lamps. A green dinosaur, a pink unicorn, a cat, an alpaca and more, with a warm light. It's a lamp for all ages: a kid's room, a teen's room, a home office or a living room.

Ben: So it can stay when the kid's room turns into a teen's room.

Ellie: It can. Same lamp, same warm light.

Ellie: That's it for today. A reminder: the voices in this episode are AI-generated. Whys & Finds is made by Naturally KIDS.

Ellie: That's today's why. See you at the next find.