People Being Other People - DnD Actual Play

As we collect ourselves and get ready for the big dance, a storm looms on the horizon. I don't like the look of this.

Show Notes

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What is People Being Other People - DnD Actual Play?

We are PBOP - a TTRPG actual-play podcast where we pretend to be other People! Join us for, hilarious improv, immersive storytelling, and an original score to set the mood. Subscribe now and adventure along with us - for excitement, for love, and for giggles!

Tim / GM:

Less time on curse breaker. On the way out of the mountain caldera, we experienced an itty bitty cave in, but don't worry, we're totally fine. Just before we all got crushed or suffocated or crushedicated, tiny little portals started opening up to offer us a way out. Turns out Bert's parents were at the other end of that. Now we're all wandering the Wisher Spoon estate trying to find each other and it's going okay.

Tim / GM:

And there's going to be a dance? We'll pick it up right where we left off with, Holly. Holly Hyacinth. You are in an upstairs hallway in the Wisherspoon Estate. You had just put on a dress that was made from 6 dresses, from your new nemesis, Danita Deville.

Hannah / Eryn:

That's right, Danita. Be afraid. Be very afraid. And Holly, like, swishes her skirts and, flings her now very short hair over her shoulder as if it was still long.

Tim / GM:

You look down this hallway, though, and there's this, rich looking rug that kinda runs down this entire hallway that's, like, 30 feet long, and there's, like, this rich wooden floor underneath. You're on this upper mezzanine that looks out into the ballroom, but leaning over the railing of this mezzanine is a familiar face. With long dark hair and violet eyes just barely catching you, he looks up to say, Ollie.

Hannah / Eryn:

Dolly.

Tara / Journey:

You

Tim / GM:

see Dolly Pace standing absolutely breathless looking at you.

Hannah / Eryn:

I forgot. Holly drops a handkerchief, and she's like, oh, oh, dear. I have dropped my handkerchief. I'm going for a hard and proud. She, bends down and her dress is low cut and usually she wears very high necked dresses.

Tim / GM:

Yeah.

Hannah / Eryn:

And, her bosom is just like, and then she picks up her handkerchief and holds it to her chest, and she's like, excuse me. And then she'll tuck it back in her pocket.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Dolly takes one labored breath inward. You you almost see him bite his lip and look down as if to reconsider. He takes one confident step towards you, and he says, Holly, is this a vision? This kind of beauty doesn't exist outside the fae.

Hannah / Eryn:

Oh, Dolly. You always had a way with words, but I just had a makeover. Do you like it? And Holly, gesture or, like, spins her out and, like, pats her hair.

Tim / GM:

He, he looks literally, like, out of breath. He takes another step back and kind of, like, beholds you again, and he just says, for the first time, you know

Hannah / Eryn:

Let me stop you right there. I don't actually need your approval, or validation, but thank you so much for admiring. And Holly will, pack him on the cheek.

Tim / GM:

Absolutely. Suffice to say, Dandelion Breeze is honored to see

Hannah / Eryn:

you. What? Dandelion Breeze.

Tim / GM:

Holly, it kind of, like, sets in in just a second that he just gave you his real name. It's the

Speaker 4:

last man.

Hannah / Eryn:

Holly's mouth drops open in shock, and she's like, oh, you really shouldn't have told me that.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. He looks nervous for a second, but then he gives you a, timid smile, and he says, I trust you.

Hannah / Eryn:

Sweet sweet young boy. And she pats him on the face.

Tim / GM:

He says, the, dance might be starting any second. We should probably don these. He, pulls up a, mask for himself, that is made from violet peacock feathers and dragonfly wings, kind of representing the fey realm. He puts it over his eyes and kind of, conceals his identity. He offers a similar mask to you.

Hannah / Eryn:

Holly turns around and lets him put it on her.

Tim / GM:

Oh, okay. Yeah. You look in a shiny piece of stained glass on the other wall, and you can see your reflection in there. You're striking quite a figure. You look like this otherworldly phoenix with this red dress and these peacock wings over your eyes.

Hannah / Eryn:

Cool. Are we alone? Yeah. Holly turns around and says, did you make these?

Tim / GM:

He gives a little smirk and says, I had them made.

Hannah / Eryn:

Well, you look rather fetching, and, she gives him a long kiss.

Tim / GM:

He says, no. I don't think he says anything. He he don't got time to talk.

Hannah / Eryn:

He's just happy. We go downstairs there.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Yeah. Alright. This brings us back to the garden. Uli, you had just seen Tibeo run by, and, as soon as you mentioned it, Dave actually stands up and drops the cask of ale where he's standing, and he says, we should catch up to him.

Tim / GM:

Right? Come on. Yeah. Ollie, come on. He kinda stumbles for it.

Speaker 4:

Oh. Whoops. Boy. I'll go first, maybe.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Good idea. You can kinda lead me.

Speaker 4:

Uh-huh.

Tim / GM:

Like a little

Speaker 4:

Did you really drink all of that?

Tim / GM:

He looks down and just gives it, like, a tiny kick with his foot. And he says, you know

Speaker 4:

Oh. Oh, Dave. I'll also hand him my water canteen.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. He starts sipping from that and then realizes it's just water and becomes less interested.

Speaker 4:

No. I want you to finish that.

Tim / GM:

He says, how long ago did you teleport in?

Speaker 4:

When I met up with you, it was, like, pretty much, like, a a minute before.

Tim / GM:

Okay. Maybe we've got a couple hours to work with then. I just well, it's important that we figure it out. Right?

Speaker 4:

I I mean, clearly, yeah. Because I might get put back into the cave in.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. He kinda, like, looks down again at the ground and keeps shaking his head.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. Well, we won't think about that. Tibio is our goal. Okay. Follow me.

Tim / GM:

He, like, immediately, like, changes his, like, attention again. Just says, oh, yeah. Tibio. And he, like, charges ahead even though you just said follow me. Tibio, you hear these heavy hoof stomps and, also a minotaur is behind you.

Tim / GM:

As you're, chasing your parents down the lane in this, hedge maze labyrinth.

Tara / Journey:

Yeah. I'm just gonna keep running forward.

Tim / GM:

Okay.

Tara / Journey:

I'm laser focused.

Speaker 4:

Have you?

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Kind of like as you're turning the corner to take another turn in the labyrinth, you look back and see Dave and Uli for a split second kind of spilling over the edge, and you see Dave, like, take another tumble and, like, go down on one hand and pick himself back up, and he just, like, giggles and keeps running. When you turn that next corner, Tibio, you see Again, you see a piece of cloth, like a cloak or a cape, flicking up into the wind and then pulling away as it disappears around the corner. Seems you're chasing this thing, but it's always just one turn ahead of you.

Speaker 4:

Stop, please. Mama, papa.

Tim / GM:

Dave looks up at you and says, does Tibio think we're his parents?

Speaker 4:

Good question. I hope not.

Tim / GM:

It's pretty funny.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. Hilarious. Hey, Tibio. Tibio. I'll talk to you later.

Speaker 4:

No. No. No. Let's stick together.

Tim / GM:

Slow down.

Speaker 4:

Catch up, Dave, come I will push ahead.

Tim / GM:

I think at this point, you would you would maybe overtake Dave and, leave him behind a little bit. Tibia, you're continuing to run, but Uli is catching up to you.

Tara / Journey:

Okay. I'm just gonna keep running.

Speaker 4:

Oh, why are we running? It's on my it's on my parents. I are they here? I saw them. I have to find out.

Speaker 4:

I'm coming with you.

Tim / GM:

Tibio, you feel like you're nearing kind of the heart of this maze. And as you move into this last area that is a, central fountain, in the middle of this maze, you see both of your parents standing at the exit.

Tara / Journey:

Yeah. I run right up to them.

Speaker 4:

Do I see them?

Tim / GM:

I think you do, actually. You're a little bit behind Tibio and a little winded. But when you look up to see Tibio, you look beyond him, and you see 2 other gnomes that are standing in half skeletons.

Speaker 4:

Well, I'll be damned. Those your parents?

Tara / Journey:

Yes. They are. And I just run forward right up to them.

Tim / GM:

You kind of, like, stop right in front of them, and your mother looks terribly worried and pale. And she looks up at you and says, And then you see both of them get ripped backwards down this lane, and, at the end of it, you see this full figure. A dwarf, for sure, but almost 8 feet tall with a massive trailing bejeweled cape.

Tara / Journey:

I fall to the ground on my knees, and I stop. No. Ollie, we we must go. We must go right now.

Tim / GM:

That where they went.

Tara / Journey:

Know the other way. We we got we we've got to go.

Tim / GM:

You guys are so fast.

Speaker 4:

Dave. Dave. Shut up for a second. Is that him? I

Tara / Journey:

don't know. I think it might be. And Tibia was, like, backing up, like, crawling backwards, back toward the fountain, back toward the middle, trying to get out the other way that he came in. Okay.

Speaker 4:

I grabbed Dave by the scruff and yank him the other direction.

Tim / GM:

Where are we going?

Speaker 4:

Change of plans.

Tim / GM:

What do we where where do we need to go right now?

Speaker 4:

I don't I don't know. Oh, shit.

Tim / GM:

Are we trying to get out?

Speaker 4:

Do you know the way out?

Tim / GM:

Sorry. Yeah. It's, north out of here, left, left, right, left, right, left, right. Okay.

Hannah / Eryn:

Did you write that down?

Speaker 4:

I tried to.

Thomas / Guy:

Dave just

Tim / GM:

kinda looks at both of you like, what?

Speaker 4:

How about you lead?

Tim / GM:

Okay. Yeah. Dave just starts trucking out of here with all the confidence in the world.

Tara / Journey:

I linger at the fountain, and I'm gonna try and reach out to see if if that is real.

Tim / GM:

You there's nothing here anymore, but you get this residual darkness, this lingering stank of something awful that had moved through here.

Tara / Journey:

Okay.

Tim / GM:

Tibio, at that moment, you noticed the sky has taken a turn and that the summer evening has worked its way into a very fast approaching summer storm in this mountain valley.

Tara / Journey:

I'm gonna head that direction to where I saw my parents disappear.

Tim / GM:

Are you parting with Dave and Huli?

Tara / Journey:

I'm not really paying attention.

Tim / GM:

Okay.

Hannah / Eryn:

And I

Tara / Journey:

am I'm so focused on what I'm doing that I'm not considering others.

Tim / GM:

Okay.

Speaker 4:

I'm following Dave, and I am assuming Tibia's with us.

Tim / GM:

Okay. Yeah. You might just lose track of each other there. Okay. Bert, you are in your room.

Tim / GM:

There is a skateboard wedged in the hinge of the door, such that it would not actually latch and close. So you can still pull it open after your father had quote, unquote locked it.

Thomas / Guy:

Alright. The first thing Bert's gonna do is take out his keys. Mhmm.

Tim / GM:

And he's

Thomas / Guy:

gonna check his mail. Okay. He's looking for an invitation to this event specifically to find out more about what's going on.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. You have a letter from your mother that says it was sent, like, 20 hours ago, so extremely short notice. And it says, Engelbert, your presence is required at our estate in one day's time. Bring the emeralds if you have them.

Thomas / Guy:

Is there anything about the witch doctor? I forgot what you called him.

Tim / GM:

The last line in there just says, we need to talk and talk is underlined.

Thomas / Guy:

Okay. So Bert probably has a good idea what this

Tim / GM:

is all about. Yeah. Oh,

Thomas / Guy:

boy. Alright. Alright. I gotta find the others.

Tim / GM:

Bert, you also remember at this moment that that skateboard, your parents had paid a lot of money to have it enchanted to make absolutely no noise whatsoever. While moving around the mansion on this skateboard, you are completely undetectable.

Tara / Journey:

Oh, yes.

Speaker 4:

Oh my god. Okay. It's a sneak board.

Thomas / Guy:

I gotta find my friends quick, but my gnome legs are so short. What do I oh, hello. Bert hops on the skateboard. John, if you could insert some sort of sick guitar riff here. Bert's gonna make his way through the mansion and look for his companions.

John / Doran:

Okay. Hold up. I feel like, you know, this is a fantasy podcast, but, like, Bert on a skateboard just can't. That's where

Tim / GM:

you're drawing the line.

Speaker 4:

Did they happen?

John / Doran:

The illusion is shattered.

Tim / GM:

Bert, you pass by an open door, and you see a, you might not know her specifically, but she's got Holly's haircut. She's got pink hair. She looks like she might be a stylist or a designer of some kind, but she is gushing to another servant in that room. And she's, like, the Holly Hyacinth. I shit you not.

Tim / GM:

And, she, like, shows off a business card to the other person. She said my dresses were so amazing. She couldn't choose just 1, and she had to wear all 6 of them at the same time. It's it's hideous, but it was a cute gesture. She wants to buy my line, actually.

Tim / GM:

I might not be in Vindorn much longer, you know?

Thomas / Guy:

You there.

Tim / GM:

She just turns and goes, yeah. Yes? Can I help? Oh, young master Wisherspoon, I presume.

Thomas / Guy:

That's right. Yes.

Tim / GM:

What can I do for you?

Thomas / Guy:

Have you seen Holly Hyacinth? I really need to talk to her.

Tim / GM:

Oh, yeah. Holly Hyacinth? She and I go way back. Yeah.

Thomas / Guy:

That's great. Where is she?

Tim / GM:

Oh, I think I saw her at this event. Yeah. Maybe she's

Thomas / Guy:

Which way did she go? Is she in the house?

Tim / GM:

She's upstairs still. I think just down that hallway. Great. Bye. Yeah.

Tim / GM:

You, what? Skate? Yeah.

Tara / Journey:

Catch a lady. He never hopped off the skateboard completely. He always had one leg, one foot on it.

Tim / GM:

Perfect. Or just does that, like, kick up thing where he's holding for a second? Yeah. Bert, you silently skate by, Holly has Dolly pinned against the railing.

Tara / Journey:

Oh my god.

Tim / GM:

And they're just macking down. And then, like, kind of as you approach, they're, like, breaking, and then they're walking towards the ballroom

Thomas / Guy:

floor. Oh, Holly. Oh, and hello, Dolly.

Hannah / Eryn:

Oh, how do you recognize us in these fabulous masks? And Holly is just, like, flaunting her stuff around.

Thomas / Guy:

The mask covers, like, 10% of your face.

Tim / GM:

Oh, you're all here. That's great.

Thomas / Guy:

Dolly, it's actually really lucky that you're here too.

Tim / GM:

I'd say so.

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. Holly, if you haven't figured it out yet, this whole event is for my parents to, I think they wanna turn everybody into liches like them.

Hannah / Eryn:

What?

Thomas / Guy:

And, Dolly, do you remember when we paid you in emerald when we were back at your store?

Tim / GM:

Oh, I didn't actually know that was you, but I know we got some emeralds or one at least.

Thomas / Guy:

I don't suppose you happen to still have that. You haven't cashed it out or anything.

Tim / GM:

No. We do.

Thomas / Guy:

We could really use it as collateral.

Hannah / Eryn:

Holly pops her head in between the conversation of the 2, and she says, wait a second.

Speaker 4:

Are you a lich?

Tim / GM:

No. That's the part that's got me confused. I was told that somebody here just wanted to barter for fey treasures. What's really going on here?

Thomas / Guy:

I don't know exactly, but, it's not good, And I I think we can stop it if we get our hands on those emeralds.

Tim / GM:

But you need that emerald, doc?

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. That specific emerald.

Hannah / Eryn:

And you never wanted to be a lich.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. I have no intention of being a lich. I just

Hannah / Eryn:

Insight check. Okay. A great old 11.

Tim / GM:

I think you trust Dolly implicitly to some degree.

Hannah / Eryn:

Do I? No. I'm just kidding.

Tim / GM:

But he's he's giving you an earnest gesture, an earnest face.

Hannah / Eryn:

Okay.

Thomas / Guy:

Anyway, if there's any way you can get that emerald back tonight

Tim / GM:

Listen. It's not like it's outside of my capabilities. It's just there's a certain decorum around fey people using their abilities to help mortals.

Thomas / Guy:

Well, would it help that you're not exactly helping mortals, but you're not helping people who are immortal.

Tim / GM:

I'm getting a little lost in the sauce. Listen, it'll work this way. If we can make a deal, then that counts as

Thomas / Guy:

a fae deal. Then I

Tim / GM:

can do whatever you need. It doesn't need to be a bargain on my end. Just offer me something.

Thomas / Guy:

Great. Let's make a deal. What do we got, Holly? What do we got? Do you want a magic skateboard?

Thomas / Guy:

No. No. Yeah. Yeah. Skateboard.

Tim / GM:

That sounds pretty cool. What is that?

Hannah / Eryn:

It's kinda like a broom that hovers but also uses wheels.

Tim / GM:

Do you clean with it?

Tara / Journey:

No. Bert just shows off some real cool tricks. He grinds on the railing.

Thomas / Guy:

You can you can you can do this. But no. Wait. No. No.

Thomas / Guy:

Wait. No. Wait. You can do this. No.

Thomas / Guy:

No. I I got it. Alright.

Tim / GM:

Bert, give me a, an acrobatics check with disadvantage.

Thomas / Guy:

Okay.

Tim / GM:

This is you selling the skateboard.

Tara / Journey:

If I do an ollie.

Speaker 4:

For Dolly.

Hannah / Eryn:

An ollie for Dolly.

Thomas / Guy:

An ollie

Tara / Journey:

for Dolly.

Thomas / Guy:

Do I sell proficiency in skateboarding?

Tim / GM:

Yeah. We'll say it's still lingering from the other

Thomas / Guy:

13.

John / Doran:

That's a sloppy kickflip. Right? Yeah.

Tim / GM:

I mean, you you landed one foot on it and stomped the other foot hard on the floor. Okay. And then he just goes, yeah. Yeah. That looked like you did it right.

Tim / GM:

I have no way of telling the difference. That'll do. It looks magic ish. Alright. And for exchange, you needed that specific emerald?

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Can you do it, Dolly?

Tim / GM:

Oh, I don't know. It's almost like I'd have to pull some kind of fay bullshit, and he turns around with the emerald in his hand.

Thomas / Guy:

Bert claps. Yay.

Hannah / Eryn:

Yay.

Thomas / Guy:

Well, enjoy that if you ever need me to show you some tricks.

Tim / GM:

I won't. Anyway, here's your emerald.

Thomas / Guy:

Great. Wow.

Hannah / Eryn:

Bert, I'm a little bit confused. Why are we trying to get them their emeralds back? Again, I just feel like we're helping them.

Thomas / Guy:

I think maybe we can stop this whole business tonight if we threaten to destroy their phylacteries.

Tim / GM:

Up from that second floor, Bert, looking out a large, floor to ceiling window at the end of this hallway, you can see out into the hedge maze, and you do see the storm quickly approaching. But in the hedge maze, you catch this figure that's kind of bobbing up and down, just barely breaking the peaks of the hedge maze, and it's a pair of horns. In fact, one of them is broken in the exact same way that Dave's horns were.

Thomas / Guy:

What would he be doing here?

Tim / GM:

As it turns a corner, you see a second pair of horns right next to it. And gray green skin on top of that. It is Uli standing next to him.

Thomas / Guy:

Oh, Uli. Uli's right out there with with Dave?

Tim / GM:

As you turn back around to say this, you look into the ballroom and library beneath you, and you can see through some closed French doors, Snack is having a ruckus time with a crowd of people in the other room.

Tara / Journey:

As farewell.

Tim / GM:

As oh, shit. As farewell, which you recognize. Yes. Yes.

Thomas / Guy:

Oh, okay. Holly. Holly.

Hannah / Eryn:

Holly stops making out with, Dolly, which she did was doing as your back was turned. Yep. Holly. Yep.

Thomas / Guy:

Can you go get Uli? She's right outside with Dave. Do you see her?

Hannah / Eryn:

Holly squints out the window. Sure. What's the game plan here?

Thomas / Guy:

I don't know. We gotta meet up somewhere. Let's meet up in the back.

Hannah / Eryn:

Right there and Holly points at a statue in the yard. Yes. Next to that statue.

Thomas / Guy:

Statue.

Hannah / Eryn:

Alright. Great.

Tim / GM:

It's a statue of Roger.

Thomas / Guy:

I'll go get snack. And if you see Thabio, get him too.

Hannah / Eryn:

Okay. Holly will head down outside to go find meet up with Uli and Dave.

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. Bert's heading down to find Farewell.

Hannah / Eryn:

Does Dolly come with me, or does he I she's kinda disregarded him now.

Tim / GM:

Like, while you're, like, talking logistics with Bert, Dolly is, like, he's got his back to the railing, and he's kind of, like, got his elbows leaned half over it. He's got a hat on backwards,

Hannah / Eryn:

Paul ignores him and starts walking outside.

Tim / GM:

He, he, like, like, shakes his hand and dismisses, like, the illusory ball cap and everything. He's like, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Snack. You have been making your rounds on, taking turns riding other people's shoulders.

Tim / GM:

They love it. At some point, Vincent, who had previously called out to you, kind of tracks you down and corners you for a while, and then he's just got an arm around you, and he won't let you walk away. Shoes and then towers and then what? That's what I'm asking about. What comes next?

Tim / GM:

Work with me, farewell.

John / Doran:

Well, if I give away too much, you might get too powerful, and I'd have to

Tim / GM:

kill you. Impressive. That that is that is impressive. I need to be more like you. That's what I need.

John / Doran:

Yes. Right. Well, Vincent, it was. Right? Yes.

John / Doran:

Well, let's say we have a nice hero's feast, shall we?

Tim / GM:

You know the hero's feast? Of course. Everyone everyone get in here. Farewell is going to give us a hero's feast. Yes.

Tim / GM:

Everyone crowd around. Oh, stop. He opens the French doors and calls out into the ballroom. We've got a hero's feast coming, everyone.

John / Doran:

Yes. Well, could you please get some hot cocoa and plenty of whiskey?

Tim / GM:

He kind of like disappears into the other room. As he walks away, a snack, your attention kind of drops to a servant that is like cleaning a huge, like, piss spot off the floor.

John / Doran:

You there, servant.

Tim / GM:

Yes. Yes, sir.

John / Doran:

Where are my fancy clothes? They best hurry because I cannot be caught wearing this wretched thing anymore, and I take off the clothes I have.

Tim / GM:

Another servant steps out holding a, gorgeous purple jacket over their arm and says, the coat has been repaired, though I cannot find its owner. Who does this belong to?

John / Doran:

We shall see if it's good enough for me. And I crouched down and I breathe some fire on it, on the sleeve.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Everyone kind of, like, takes a step back and does a little, like

John / Doran:

Does it catch fire?

Tim / GM:

A little bit.

John / Doran:

This will not do. Bring me something that will not burn, and I snap.

Tim / GM:

Immediately. The servant looks extremely confused as they turn around and leave.

John / Doran:

Servants. Right?

Tim / GM:

Farewell. What? Farewell, Margo Bingo. You invited me, did you not?

John / Doran:

Oh, yes. Yes. That was no. I did not invite you.

Tim / GM:

I'm sorry. Is this not your estate?

John / Doran:

Do you think it is?

Tim / GM:

I I did until just now. I after your donation, I received a letter talking about more funding for Tildry. I thought it was from you.

John / Doran:

Yes. Well, one of my servants does all the writing. I can't recall, but, if if I wanted to buy this, I certainly could.

Tara / Journey:

Well,

Tim / GM:

mister Farewell, I I do need to speak to you about, about your contributions. I don't want there to be any mismatched expectations. We're going to need a good bit more funding from you, if the tower is to take place.

John / Doran:

I grabbed Margo, by the arms. Shh. Hugh, you what do you mean, I'm so wealthy that what you say is you said too loud.

Tim / GM:

They, the magic of the mustache is fighting against, Margo's statements, which are not magical. And so you see people, like, kind of, like, squinting their eyes at Margo. Like, he's broke? What? And then you're like, I'm rich.

Tim / GM:

And they're like, oh, of course. He's rich.

John / Doran:

Yeah. Anyways, Marco, this is, going to be a ball, and we cannot speak of such drivelry.

Tara / Journey:

Yeah. Yep.

John / Doran:

Where is that whiskey and hot cocoa?

Tim / GM:

I'm so sorry. It's here. Somebody comes in, like, obviously, like, sweating and rushed, and, they come in and, like, almost, like, drop it at your feet.

John / Doran:

Okay. I dump the hot cocoa into the whiskey into a large pot, and then I hold it over the fire.

Tim / GM:

Okay. Yes.

John / Doran:

And you swirl it around like this, and I use my hand to mix it up. Okay. And after some time, I set it on the table.

Tim / GM:

It's like crickets in there.

John / Doran:

Well, I'm certainly not gonna drink this all myself. Is this the It's a hero's feast. It's a hero's feast. A hero's feast. Yeah.

Thomas / Guy:

Come on.

Tim / GM:

So people start, like, picking up, like, flagging and, like, essentially dumping this on themselves. Okay. And, yeah, the whole room smells like chocolate and whiskey in an instant. Yuck. Amidst all of the chaos, Margo kinda leans into you and says, I don't like this.

Tim / GM:

I'm gonna cancel my summons discreetly. I suggest you do the same.

John / Doran:

Margo, do you not like hot cocoa?

Tim / GM:

The cocoa's fine, mister farewell. I just, if this wasn't you, I don't know who this is, and I shouldn't have accepted this summons.

John / Doran:

Margo, and I grab her by the arm again. I don't know how I got here, to be totally honest. So perhaps you should stay with me.

Tim / GM:

This feels like a trap, mister Farewell.

Thomas / Guy:

Next. Snacks. Have you seen the snacks? Oh, look. It's mister Farewell and Marga.

Tim / GM:

Engelbert, I'm surprised to see you. Do you

Thomas / Guy:

I'm surprised to see you too, Margo.

Tim / GM:

Do you know where we are?

Thomas / Guy:

This is the Wisherspoon Estate, my parents' home.

Tim / GM:

Interesting. And why Bert, why did you summon me here?

Thomas / Guy:

Well, it it wasn't me. It was my mother.

Tim / GM:

Oh, so they were making the donations to Tiltree.

Thomas / Guy:

Really?

Tim / GM:

I think. I'm quite confused. And, Bert, I'd like some more details on what's going on here. And just then, you hear this, like, 2 hollow wooden clacks that signal that the dance is about to begin.

Thomas / Guy:

I'd love to fill you in on what I can, Margo, but I really need to talk to mister Farewell alone.

John / Doran:

Yep. Yep.

Tim / GM:

I agree. Bert, please don't take this the wrong way, but I need to get back to work. I'm going back to Tildry.

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. That's fine. How are you getting back?

Tim / GM:

Well, I can just undo my summons. It's a temporary one.

Thomas / Guy:

Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fine.

Thomas / Guy:

You probably don't wanna hang around. I think this party's gonna be lame.

Tim / GM:

It's, a little stuffy, if you don't mind me saying.

Thomas / Guy:

Not at all. Now, mister farewell, a word?

Tim / GM:

You see her walk into the same closet that snack came from, and then you just see a little flash of light come from under the door.

John / Doran:

What is it, Bert?

Thomas / Guy:

Let's go somewhere. Let's go let's go to the backyard.

John / Doran:

One second. I lean into Bert.

Speaker 7:

Bert, it's me, Snack, by the way.

Thomas / Guy:

Oh, woah.

Tara / Journey:

Yes. I

Speaker 7:

don't want you to tell the others, but, I think this disguise is quite useful.

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. You seem to be killing it down here figuratively.

Speaker 7:

I have not killed anyone yet.

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's get to the back. Alright.

Tim / GM:

As you guys are kind of, like, leaving this area and trying to get some privacy, there's a bunch of ushers that are trying get you into the ballroom, and they keep trying to hand you simple masquerade masks to put on your face while you dance. But when you turn them down, they don't seem to protest too much. Uli, you and Dave have been trying to figure out this labyrinth. It seems like he knows where he's going, but he also had quite a bit to drink not too long ago.

Speaker 4:

Dave.

Tim / GM:

And then so buzzed for my only brother. But

Speaker 4:

I thought you knew where we were.

Tim / GM:

What? Oh, yeah. It's just, left, right, left, and then it's like a northeast ish kinda thing.

Speaker 4:

We've been walking in circles for what feels like hours.

Tim / GM:

No. Trust me. It's it's not the same. It just looks the same. Anyway, so the mine originally belonged to my great great great aunt.

Tim / GM:

She was kind of the founder of that whole canyon area, and, it was like an inheritance thing. So the oldest

Speaker 4:

Shut up.

Tim / GM:

Am I talking too much?

Speaker 4:

Oh.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. I do that.

Speaker 4:

No. You're just I just we need to get out of here, and I don't know where Tibio is now. Oh. I thought he was right behind us.

Tim / GM:

No. He was. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should've been watching him too.

Tim / GM:

I I do this.

Speaker 4:

No. No. Just get us out. Please, please, please just get us out of this stupid fucking maze. He kinda, like,

Tim / GM:

shakes his head hard, and he says, yeah. I'm sorry.

Speaker 4:

You don't have to apologize. Just get us out, please.

Tim / GM:

It's this way. And, he takes off confidently the direction that you came from.

Speaker 4:

Do I try? Insight check.

Tim / GM:

Like, a second later, he turns around and goes, nope. Sorry. This way. Motherfucker. He leads you out of the maze finally.

Tim / GM:

And when you get to the exit of this place, you see Holly with her arms crossed kind of anticipating your arrival.

Hannah / Eryn:

There you are. Took you long enough. Holly looks at a pretend watch stopwatch out of her pocket. You're here too then. It's just a crystal on a chain.

Hannah / Eryn:

She tucks it back into her pocket.

Speaker 4:

Have you seen anybody else?

Hannah / Eryn:

Yes. We are meeting at the statue, 5 minutes ago, so follow me.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. Cool. We'll meet up with everyone. Thabio's missing. Sorry.

Hannah / Eryn:

Missing?

Speaker 4:

Yeah. I had him, and then I didn't have him. He was behind me, and now he's not.

Hannah / Eryn:

Oh, but he's in the maze?

Speaker 4:

I don't know. Well

Tim / GM:

Also, Dave's here.

Speaker 4:

Oh, yeah. And Dave's here.

Hannah / Eryn:

Well, yeah. I mean, I saw Dave. Hi, Dave.

Tim / GM:

Hi, Lilo. What?

Hannah / Eryn:

Is he okay?

Tim / GM:

I'm sorry. I drink when I did drinking. Okay.

Speaker 4:

So finish that canteen.

Hannah / Eryn:

What? Please.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. He finishes off the water and

Speaker 4:

then he's back to you. Re frost him a little bit.

Tara / Journey:

Just a little. Just a little.

Speaker 4:

Sober him up.

Tim / GM:

He gives you the canteen, and he's, like, all gone. And then right away, you hit him with a blast of frost. He's like, I'm awake. I'm awake.

Speaker 4:

Uh-huh. I have no way of tracking Tibeo down.

Hannah / Eryn:

Holly pulls Sal out of her, sack of holding and says, Sal?

Tim / GM:

Wow. I like this.

Hannah / Eryn:

I bet you do. Can you do me a favor?

Tim / GM:

Sorry. What was that?

Hannah / Eryn:

I need you to go find Tibeo in this maze and guide him out.

Tim / GM:

Sure. Of course. Yes.

Hannah / Eryn:

Are you capable of this?

Tim / GM:

He looks up to you very seriously and says, that remains to be seen, Holly Hyacinth.

Hannah / Eryn:

Alright. Well, do your best, and she pats him on the head and then scooches his little butt into the maze.

Tim / GM:

He scooches inside, and then he, like, walks very slowly down the center of the lane and does, like, a little, like, lilting of his nose to one side and then the other. And then you see him spank onto the top of the hedges, like, a full 9 feet and climb to the top and starts walking along the top of the hedges looking down on either side.

Speaker 4:

That's a good idea.

Tim / GM:

And he's just going, Tibio. Tibio.

Hannah / Eryn:

Tibio. Alright. I think Sal will take care of it. Let's head over to the statue, and we'll wait for them there. Okay.

Hannah / Eryn:

What why are we here? Well, from what I've gleaned so far oh, well, Dolly's here. He he made me this mask. But also, this is Bert's parents' house. Isn't that something?

Speaker 4:

Oh, the shady Lich ones?

Hannah / Eryn:

Yeah. I think Tibia is just gonna love that, and we're here to somehow give them back the emeralds, but then we have the power, so we're we make them do what we want, I think, is the plan. Bert had a skateboard. He gave it to Dolly. Dolly gave us the emerald.

Hannah / Eryn:

There's a lot going on. What have you been up to?

Speaker 4:

I'm looking at Holly's Holly's pupils to make sure she's not concussed.

Hannah / Eryn:

Holly jumps as she hears the clap of thunder, as the garden has grown very dark.

Speaker 4:

Mhmm. Yeah. Maybe we get out of the rain?

Hannah / Eryn:

Yeah. Let's go meet up with them and we can find an alcove to to get under or something.

Speaker 4:

Right. Are you okay? Why? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 4:

Just making sure.

Hannah / Eryn:

Am I okay?

Speaker 4:

I don't know. Pinch me. I pinch her very hard.

John / Doran:

Before we approach the group, I will stop and wipe away the mustache.

Tim / GM:

Sure. Yeah. Bert and Snack in dragonborn form approach.

Thomas / Guy:

Your secret's safe with me, Snack.

Speaker 7:

Thank you, Bert.

Hannah / Eryn:

Well, look at this motley crew all back together again.

Speaker 4:

Secrets,

Thomas / Guy:

Alright. Did we find Tibio?

Hannah / Eryn:

No. Sal is working on it. He got lost

Speaker 4:

in the maze. So he was with us. Oh, he was chasing his parents? That's weird. Right?

Speaker 4:

Like, they aren't dead? Are they dead? We don't know. Right?

Tim / GM:

They were there for sure.

Thomas / Guy:

Oh, boy. What about Emory? Did we find Emory?

Hannah / Eryn:

No. Haven't seen him.

Thomas / Guy:

Oh, god. Okay.

Speaker 4:

Tibia was, chasing his parents and then was not chasing his parents. He saw something that scared him, and we all ran.

Thomas / Guy:

I wonder what that's about.

Speaker 4:

I don't know.

Thomas / Guy:

We could really use Tibio's help. There's, undead business afoot.

Speaker 4:

I

Tim / GM:

yeah. Cut to Tibio.

Tara / Journey:

I feel so special.

Tim / GM:

You are, walking up this storm loop Super. Garden path. You came out a different exit than everybody else, such that you're not really in an open field. You're again in these sort of, enclosed archways and patios and switchbacks that are leading up towards the mansion.

Tara / Journey:

Alright.

Tim / GM:

You feel like you're still closely trailing after this guy even though it's starting to rain.

Hannah / Eryn:

Mhmm.

Tim / GM:

It can't be far ahead of you, whatever that figure was.

Hannah / Eryn:

Okay.

Tim / GM:

And you feel like that the entire time. You get all the way up to the mansion, and you see this giant glass wall. And inside, a ballroom dance beginning to take place. You can hear the rain pelting against the glass now, inviting you inside.

Tara / Journey:

I see that these people are wearing masks, and I use some of the smaller bones in my skeleton to make a mask in front of my face that looks like a bird skull slash beak, but without donning my actual helmet. I don't want it to

Tim / GM:

be huge.

Tara / Journey:

I just want it to be small and subtle.

Tim / GM:

K.

Tara / Journey:

And then I make my way into the room scanning for that figure that I saw, that extra large dwarf.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. You move into the ballroom from outside, and you're kind of right in the middle of the dance floor as you come in. There are people that are just starting to kind of get into position. There's no music going or anything yet. Everybody's just kind of giggling and excited and joining hands and finding their partners.

Tim / GM:

And some people kind of, like, walk up to you and hold their hands out as if to take yours.

Tara / Journey:

I noticed that they're all wearing red.

Tim / GM:

Most of them.

Tara / Journey:

And I cast minor illusion to make my cloak and stuff all red, and then the bones would stay white. Okay. I'm now in in the deep red of everyone else.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. You look like you belong thoroughly.

Tara / Journey:

I'm gonna just try to mingle a little bit and try and figure out where I am.

Tim / GM:

Okay. Give me a perception check as you mingle.

Speaker 4:

8.

Tim / GM:

Okay. Yeah. You're not really making any friends out there. There's a lot of people here, too many to notice. There's some familiar faces, but it's hard for you to keep track of who's who and who's where.

Tim / GM:

Back at the, statue of Roger out in the out in the yard, these clouds are fast approaching. Some of you are starting to feel sprinkles, and the roll of thunder is fast approaching.

Hannah / Eryn:

We better head in. I don't know how well this outfit will last in the ring. Should I

Speaker 4:

should I look fancy too?

Hannah / Eryn:

Yes. Holly, like, eyes, Uli up and down is kinda, like, we'll need to do something about that. But let's

Speaker 4:

I've got this. Alter self. Oh. And I'm just gonna look more like a minotaur, but in a dress.

Hannah / Eryn:

Oh, okay. It's like Shrek in a dress out there. Hey.

Tim / GM:

Dave goes, yeah. I should, I should, he, sets down his backpack. He's got, like, a little knapsack on him. Opens it up and takes out, a new pair of shoes. These ones are like polished and untouched, and he slips them on.

Tim / GM:

And when he does, he clicks the heels together, and you see this 3 piece suit just don over him.

Speaker 4:

Alright, Dave.

Thomas / Guy:

Of course.

Tara / Journey:

Are those hollies?

Tim / GM:

Looks up at Holly and says, thanks.

Hannah / Eryn:

A Holly Hyacinth original. Very popular among the ton.

Tim / GM:

He, he kind of shrugs and he says, it's a little older.

Thomas / Guy:

Dang. I gotta get a pair of those.

Tim / GM:

They're nice. Right?

Speaker 4:

You, you clean up nice. And then I punch him and I walk in gracefully.

Tim / GM:

After you're kinda walking away from him, he's like, you clean. Okay. And he, like, just walks after you. Holly, you caught all of that.

Hannah / Eryn:

Wow. That's that's love, I guess. And Holly follows them inside.

Thomas / Guy:

I have nothing to wear.

Speaker 4:

Wear nothing.

Thomas / Guy:

I don't

Speaker 4:

know why I said that.

Thomas / Guy:

Snack. What? I should message her first, but do you think you can bring Maisie here?

Speaker 7:

Snack is looking at the statue and, like, tapping on it. Maisie. Yes, we must steal from the child again.

Thomas / Guy:

Sure, that works.

Speaker 7:

Do you have anything to give Mayzie? That

Thomas / Guy:

I already gave someone my skateboard. Oh, Mayzie would have loved a magic skateboard. Uli, any ideas?

Hannah / Eryn:

Are you guys following us inside, like, just inside the entryway so we're not in the out?

Tim / GM:

Yeah. I think you're all kinda, like, walking together so that you're now under, like, a patio awning about to go into the ballroom.

Hannah / Eryn:

Okay. Perfect.

Speaker 7:

I know I know what to get Maisie.

Speaker 4:

What? No. No. No. No.

Speaker 7:

No. I got this one. Yes.

Speaker 4:

We're not bringing her here. Of course we are.

Thomas / Guy:

Well, for a minute, we need her emerald.

Speaker 4:

This is, like, the worst place to bring Mayzie.

Thomas / Guy:

You are really into the pageantry of it all for a little bit there.

Speaker 4:

I mean, I'm a fully capable adult, and I look good.

Thomas / Guy:

I think Maisie will be happy to see us, and it's not like it's the worst thing we've done to her.

John / Doran:

Alright. Hit the mail mallet on

Tara / Journey:

my Wait.

Speaker 4:

Oh, no. No. Okay. She's not gonna oh, snack.

Thomas / Guy:

Hey, you know that emerald you always carry with you?

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Maisie appears, according to your, your thought snack. She, like, immediately looks up and she's like, is it raining?

Speaker 7:

Yes, Maisie. We have not time. We are here at the vampire place.

Tim / GM:

I Her eyes go wide, and she, like, presses her face up against the glass looking into the ballroom, and she just goes like

Speaker 7:

Yes. Yes. I have a gift for you, Mayzie. I would like to exchange it for

Tim / GM:

an emerald.

Speaker 7:

Oh. Do you have one with you? Perhaps one we gave you and now seek to take from you

Tim / GM:

the lucky emerald? You need it?

Speaker 7:

Uli, you said you we needed it. Right?

Speaker 4:

Yeah. I'm gonna shift my appearance back to Uli in a dress.

Tim / GM:

She is, like, looking up at you and she goes, oh. Hi, Oli.

Speaker 4:

Hi. Yeah. We kind of need that. We gave it to you and didn't know that it was important.

Tim / GM:

She holds up the emerald, and then she, like, closes it in her fist and holds it close to her chest. And she says, last time we tried to make a deal, you gave me a stinky bracelet.

Speaker 7:

I have this under control, Maisie. Here, I shift my eyes back and forth, and I pull out the hunting trap.

Speaker 4:

No. Don't give her that.

Speaker 7:

Maisie is old enough to know how to hunt now.

Speaker 4:

What is she gonna do with a bear trap?

Speaker 7:

Keep bears away. Yes.

John / Doran:

Here, this is how you trigger it,

Speaker 7:

and I step on it real quick, and

Tim / GM:

it give me a dexterity check.

Thomas / Guy:

Don't. Oh, god.

John / Doran:

14.

Tim / GM:

You're bleeding, but you're trying not to let it show. You made it out of the trap, but it gotcha.

Speaker 7:

Yes, Mazzie. See, this is why you must be careful not not, step on it, but it will keep bears away. Here you go.

Tim / GM:

Everywhere Snack steps, there's a little pad of blood. Yes,

Tara / Journey:

come on.

Speaker 7:

There's not much time, Maisie. You will disappear. So

Thomas / Guy:

Any it's gonna help us stop some bad guys, Maisie. I'm really sorry we had to take it from you.

Hannah / Eryn:

Holly is gonna kneel down next to Mayzie and say, listen, Mayzie. This is your chance to be a part of something bigger than yourself. And I know it's hard to understand when you're young, but we can make you an honorary curse breaker now, and if you prove yourself a real curse breaker in the future.

Thomas / Guy:

I'll even give you a tattoo.

Tim / GM:

She, looks at your tattoo, Holly, like, pretending like she's not looking at it, and then she meets you right in the eyes. She goes, promise?

Hannah / Eryn:

I promise.

Tim / GM:

Okay. She, like, firmly holds her bear trap under her arm and holds out her hand for a shake.

Hannah / Eryn:

Holly shakes her hand.

Tim / GM:

Deal.

Hannah / Eryn:

Deal.

Tim / GM:

She hands over the emerald.

Hannah / Eryn:

Thank you.

Thomas / Guy:

Thank you, Mayzie.

Tim / GM:

And if you ever need my help again she disappears.

Tara / Journey:

Oh my god.

Hannah / Eryn:

Here, I don't wanna touch this thing, and she throws the emerald at Bert.

Thomas / Guy:

Alright. I wanna do, like, maybe an arcana check to see if Bert knows what happens when you destroy a factory. Thomas thinks what happens is they're just not immortal anymore.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Anyway, roll that roll that check.

John / Doran:

Our final

Thomas / Guy:

check is okay?

Tim / GM:

Yep.

Thomas / Guy:

32.

Tim / GM:

What the

Tara / Journey:

fuck? I'm sorry. Excuse me?

John / Doran:

No. I love natural charm.

Tara / Journey:

Oh, my god.

Tim / GM:

Bert, holding the emeralds in your hand, you know exactly what would happen. If you were to destroy these right now, they would have no way of finding your parents again. These existing kind of keeps your parents in this, permanent state. It's almost like, they're quantum entangled with these animals. So if one ceases to exist, the other will also.

Tim / GM:

Oh, boy.

Hannah / Eryn:

What's the plan, Bert man?

Thomas / Guy:

I don't really see any way out of this, but, these are our bargaining chip to get them to stop whatever they're up to tonight.

Hannah / Eryn:

Yeah. But then what?

Thomas / Guy:

Well, it wouldn't be good for my parents. But

Speaker 4:

Is that really that much of a loss?

Hannah / Eryn:

Are they even your parents anymore? You don't seem to be caring about them in that way.

Thomas / Guy:

I mean, they're different now, but they're still they're still in there. They're still them. I don't know. The more time you spend thinking about it, the more I'll talk myself out of it. So Alright.

Thomas / Guy:

Someone else hold on to the other one. I don't think it's good for us to have both of them together.

Speaker 4:

You take this.

Hannah / Eryn:

I got other important things in here. Holly doesn't really want it, so

Speaker 4:

she's trying to avoid it. They're going to get it if it's not

Thomas / Guy:

Uly, I think you should take it.

Speaker 7:

I can't snack have it.

Speaker 4:

I'll take it. You say it's in your pack.

Hannah / Eryn:

I think snacks should have it.

Tara / Journey:

Oh my god.

Speaker 7:

No. Mm-mm. Yes. No.

Speaker 4:

No. I take it.

Speaker 7:

I didn't want it, but now I do.

Speaker 4:

I I will swallow it right here.

Hannah / Eryn:

Oh, that's actually a good idea. Do that.

Speaker 7:

I suppose if you do swallow it, that makes sense.

Speaker 4:

I lick it. It's mine.

Tim / GM:

You hear 3 wooden clacks coming from the ballroom signaling that the dance begins. Alright.

Thomas / Guy:

Let's try to blend in and stop an undead army.

Tim / GM:

Through the glass, you all can see pairs of dancers tambourine has begun, but there's no violin. There's no tonality to this, quote, unquote, music.

Tara / Journey:

Okay. I'm not used to, like, gatherings with lots of people. Most of the gatherings in my home are a few people and then, like, lots of animals. So Tibio is not sure of the protocols here. He sees people dancing, and he assumes that the partner part is just kinda whatever you feel.

Tara / Journey:

Mhmm. So he's not gonna find a partner, and he is going to dance by himself. Okay. Start doing some, like, whooshie arms and spinning around. And I remember from the rave that I really enjoy dancing, and so I'm just kinda waving my Skellar arms around and doing some turns and twists and, smiling at people and kinda giving them finger dumb fingers like, hey.

Tara / Journey:

Yeah. Yeah.

Tim / GM:

People are, like, smiling at you and nodding and kind of, like, encouraging you as you're dancing. From your perspective, it's hard to tell if they're being mean spirited about it or not. I would assume not. But you're having a good time. Yeah.

Tara / Journey:

I'm also looking for my friends or for anybody familiar as I'm doing this.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. I think you do see them, enter through the glass wall. Some of them are a little wet even from the storm starting outside. There's a flash of lightning and then, your attention is is all drawn to the center of the dance room where a large crowd of red is moving in. Those beautiful women that you had seen earlier in the red dresses all pile into this room in 2 columns.

Tim / GM:

They start to surround a central figure in the middle of the ballroom as you all enter here. What are you all

Speaker 4:

doing? I am putting the emerald in my boot. Thought you were gonna say your boob. I thought about it.

Hannah / Eryn:

The emerald in my boob. I feel like that's too easy.

Speaker 4:

It's under my foot now. Ouch.

Thomas / Guy:

Bert grabbed a mask from the staff, I guess, and is, hanging off to the side of the room.

Hannah / Eryn:

Holly is dancing with Dolly.

Speaker 7:

Okay. Snack is trying to dance with Holly and Dolly.

Tara / Journey:

Tivia is still in the dance floor and is getting kind of jostled around and pushed as people get out of the way of the 5,000 beautiful women. Okay.

Speaker 4:

I am standing as close to the wall as possible looking very uncomfortable.

Tim / GM:

So I guess we just, what, do we just get in there?

Speaker 4:

Or Oh. Oh, you wanna dance?

Tim / GM:

I mean, it's Yeah. It's a ball, if you want to.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. I don't know.

Tim / GM:

I'm just bored. I'm just bored. That's the only reason why I wanna dance.

Speaker 4:

I don't I don't know how to dance.

Tim / GM:

I've actually been to a lot of these things. If you just let me hold you for a sec, I can make it look good. Come here. And he kind of like grabs your hand and gives you a really light tug out onto the dance floor.

Hannah / Eryn:

No.

Tim / GM:

He walks backwards with you and gives you a big grin, and then he gives you just one Dave sized pull. And that's all it takes to get you to, like, whip into his arms. And then he grabs your other hand, and then with grace you would never expect from a bipedal bovine, he begins to float you across the dance floor in a way that you didn't think you could move.

Speaker 4:

I I'm so uncomfortable.

Tara / Journey:

It's like Beauty and the Beast except both of them are the beast. Yeah.

Speaker 4:

Yes. Yeah. For sure staring at my feet.

Tim / GM:

Yeah.

Speaker 4:

Like, making sure I don't step on him.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. A couple of times when you look up to check Dave, he's just kind of, like, nodding and encouraging. And you can see a couple times he checks his broken horn. Seems like a very, self conscious point for him. He keeps like smoothing it back like hair.

Speaker 4:

It, it looks cool. Dashing.

Tim / GM:

If cows could blush. He looks down and says, thanks. I, you look great, Dooley.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. No. Shut up.

Tim / GM:

He goes, alright. Let's just let's just enjoy this. And he kinda goes quiet for a little while. Dolly, Holly, and Snack are all spinning about in a little threesome. Snack, how are you trying to involve yourself in this?

Speaker 7:

Holly, what? You're hogging Dolly. It's my turn.

Hannah / Eryn:

Oh, you're cutting in.

Tim / GM:

Yes. Do you mind, Holly?

Hannah / Eryn:

Not at all. And Holly gracefully bows out and immediately finds another partner.

Speaker 7:

Careful, Dolly. There's some blood on the floor. I don't know where that's from.

Tim / GM:

I see

Speaker 7:

that. They should have cleaned this place. Alright.

Tim / GM:

You're pretty light on your feet.

Speaker 7:

Why, thank you. I'm slightly flying, actually.

Tim / GM:

He looks down and goes, oh,

Tara / Journey:

yeah.

Tim / GM:

You are, aren't you? Snack. He, like, takes your arms and lets your back legs, like, float up in the air, and he just kind of slowly spins you around, like, as the as if you're trying to, like, float away or something, and then you come back to the ground. He says, that was delightful.

Speaker 7:

Dolly, I have something to confess. Please. I have never exchanged saliva with another creature.

Tim / GM:

He kinda leans over and he, like, gives a little glance to Holly, and then he looks back at you and said, would you like to? Well, it

Speaker 7:

seems you have much experience in the ways of this.

Tim / GM:

He solemnly nods his head and he says, I certainly do.

Speaker 7:

Would you care, Ted?

Tim / GM:

Dolly puts a hand on the back of your neck and says, come here, fella. And, he gives you a big old

Hannah / Eryn:

smooch. What? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Hannah / Eryn:

Yes.

Tara / Journey:

Yes. Oh my god.

John / Doran:

Bean's back in.

Tim / GM:

He he kind of, he backs off and he goes, hot cocoa and cinnamon? No. Whiskey.

Speaker 4:

Is it Fireball?

John / Doran:

Oh, no.

Speaker 7:

Yes, Dolly.

Tim / GM:

Anyway, that's what it's all about.

Tara / Journey:

Oh, god.

Speaker 7:

I see. You're quite kind, Dolly. Should you ever tire of your relationship with Holly? Well, this is just a dance after all.

John / Doran:

Holly, I believe it is your turn again.

Tim / GM:

Dolly grabs snack and kind of like twirls him over to Holly and says, your turn, Holly.

Hannah / Eryn:

If I have to. And Holly, grabs snack and is like, well, at least you're my height now. And they whisk away. Yeah.

Tim / GM:

Bert, sitting on the sidelines, your little wallflower position. Mhmm. You see someone similar to your height straight up next to you. He says, Engelbert, how goes it? Any, luck with the emeralds, boy.

Thomas / Guy:

Oh, hey, dad. I got some leads. I think we might be able to get them.

Tim / GM:

That's good, Bart. He, you can see he's, like, tapping his, like, lap really rapidly. He says, it's, well, it's it's almost go time.

Thomas / Guy:

I'm just curious. What do you need those for anyway? I mean, I know what they do, but why do you need them tonight so bad?

Tim / GM:

Bert, I don't think you're going to understand any

Thomas / Guy:

of this, but Try me.

Tim / GM:

There's a solution to life, Engelbert, and and we found it. Okay? You have to accept at least that much. That there is an end to life. It's a puzzle, and we figured it out.

Tim / GM:

We know how to live forever. We're done with this part of it. This working and trying and getting money and trying to survive and killing others and all of this. Your mother and I, we're done with it. We found the next step of life, and we're going to take it.

Tim / GM:

And we need those emeralds.

Thomas / Guy:

Wait. So this is something more than what you've already done. Is that right?

Tim / GM:

This is the second phase. This is true immortality, not Lichdom.

Thomas / Guy:

Oh.

John / Doran:

Well,

Tim / GM:

we just needed our souls back to get there.

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm happy for you and mom, I guess. Not really my bag, but glad you solved that life puzzle.

Tara / Journey:

I I

Tim / GM:

had a feeling you would say

Thomas / Guy:

that. I'm sorry, Bert. I'm sorry too.

Tim / GM:

We're not going to let you throw away forever just because you're young and stupid. Bert, you look up and you see the circle of dancers in red begins to tighten, and that echoing woodblock sound becomes more rapid and the tambourine swells into a shimmer. You can all hear this from wherever you are. In the center of the room, the dancers burst away from Orzo in a dramatic backward bend. They send red ribbons streaming through the air in surreal slow motion.

Tim / GM:

A chandelier overhead vibrates and shatters into crystal shards that hover overhead. The dancers let out a haunting call, something between a scream and a sigh. Holly, you feel this weightless euphoria and you look down to see that you're suddenly floating off the ground. Below you is Dolly, leaning over to catch your collapsing body as your spirit departs from it. The rest of you have a clear view of all of it because you're floating too.

Tim / GM:

People all around the room fall into a hushed panic. There's another instant of confusion before you all feel this powerful pull like a whirlpool. You pass by these red silk ribbons floating in the air and feel yourself become pulled into the spirit shaman, into Orzo. His massive cape, which has been adorned with a dizzying collection of gemstones begins to billow, and you feel your soul being pulled into a stone. Just like Roger, just like Carol, just like Tibio's parents, your soul belongs to Orzo.

John / Doran:

Fuck.

Tim / GM:

Thanks so much for listening. I'm Tim, your DM and your genie.

Hannah / Eryn:

I'm Hannah playing Holly Hyacinth.

Thomas / Guy:

I'm Thomas. I play Engelbert FF Wisherspoon.

Tara / Journey:

I'm Tara, and I play Tibio Femur.

John / Doran:

I'm John. I play Snack the Kobalt.

Speaker 4:

And I'm Maggie playing Uli.

Hannah / Eryn:

Hey. Hi, friend. How are you? Thanks for stopping by. You know, we'd really love to hear from you.

Hannah / Eryn:

You can rate and review us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to this awesome podcast. Don't forget to tell them Holly sent you.