What if embracing abundance and deepening your inner awareness could transform your life and relationships, too? Preston Smiles shares powerful insights to help you shift into a more aligned and abundant way of living.
In this heartfelt episode of the Plenty podcast, I sit down with the inspiring Preston Smiles, a dynamic speaker and coach, to explore how embracing abundance and cultivating inner awareness can transform every aspect of your life. Preston shares his incredible journey from surf instructor in LA to a renowned teacher of abundance, highlighting how building the right internal and external foundations can lead to true success. Together, I and Preston dive into the importance of emotional regulation, the impact of early life experiences, and the wisdom we can learn from nature and spiritual practices.
Preston’s honest reflections on his own personal growth, relationship dynamics, and the power of self-awareness will leave you with practical insights and inspiration for living a life of true abundance and fulfillment.
“The truth of our experience is absolutely abundance, and then the lie is scarcity.” -Preston Smiles
Take advantage of this opportunity to learn how to reclaim your time and energy.
Register now to access this life-changing wisdom and receive a free 4-Phase Cyclical Planning template for Energy Management when you join us live. Click here to register and start your journey to abundance!
Let’s transform together!
Chapters
What if embracing abundance and deepening your inner awareness could transform your life and relationships, too? Preston Smiles shares powerful insights to help you shift into a more aligned and abundant way of living.
In this heartfelt episode of the Plenty podcast, I sit down with the inspiring Preston Smiles, a dynamic speaker and coach, to explore how embracing abundance and cultivating inner awareness can transform every aspect of your life. Preston shares his incredible journey from surf instructor in LA to a renowned teacher of abundance, highlighting how building the right internal and external foundations can lead to true success. Together, I and Preston dive into the importance of emotional regulation, the impact of early life experiences, and the wisdom we can learn from nature and spiritual practices.
Preston’s honest reflections on his own personal growth, relationship dynamics, and the power of self-awareness will leave you with practical insights and inspiration for living a life of true abundance and fulfillment.
“The truth of our experience is absolutely abundance, and then the lie is scarcity.” -Preston Smiles
Take advantage of this opportunity to learn how to reclaim your time and energy.
Register now to access this life-changing wisdom and receive a free 4-Phase Cyclical Planning template for Energy Management when you join us live. Click here to register and start your journey to abundance!
Let’s transform together!
What is Plenty with Kate Northrup?
What if you could get more of what you want in life? But not through pushing, forcing, or pressure.
You can.
When it comes to money, time, and energy, no one’s gonna turn away more.
And Kate Northrup, Bestselling Author of Money: A Love Story and Do Less and host of Plenty, is here to help you expand your capacity to receive all of the best.
As a Money Empowerment OG who’s been at it for nearly 2 decades, Kate’s the abundance-oriented best friend you may not even know you’ve always needed.
Pull up a chair every week with top thought leaders, luminaries, and adventurers to learn how to have more abundance with ease.
Preston Smiles:
When I was a surf instructor in LA, I was so high on my own supply that that people just kept coming to me.
Kate Northrup:
I'm sure they did.
Preston Smiles:
They, like, legit. I was one of those dudes and like, what is this dude on? And people would say that all the time. They're like, is this like how you actually are? And I'm like, I am.
Kate Northrup:
It's fucking awesome, bro.
Preston Smiles:
Like, you know, and so it literally just would reverberate through the room and every I started figuring it out. I'm like, oh, God, the universe is like electricity. Electricity never says no. It always says yes. It has one question and that question is is have you built the infrastructure for what you're plugging in?
Kate Northrup:
I have such a special episode for you today. I feel like I've just met, like, a soul friend in Preston Smiles. We just sat down, and meeting for the first time recorded this episode. And if you are ready to access and be present to abundance in your life, this conversation is essential. Enjoy the episode.
Kate Northrup:
Welcome to Plenti. I'm your host, Kate Northrup, and together, we are going on a journey to help you have an incredible relationship with money, time, and energy, and to have abundance on every possible level. Every week, we're gonna dive in with experts and insights to help you unlock a life of plenty. Let's go fill our cups.
[voiceover]:
Please note that the opinions and perspectives of the guests on the Plenty podcast are not necessarily reflective of the opinions and perspectives of Kate Northrop or anyone who works within the Kate Northrop brand.
Kate Northrup:
I didn't realize how starved I was for being in a hub. So I lived in New York for 6 years, and I was, like, in this incredible circle, really, in in some ways, like, at the you know, like, I was in the back seat of the car with Marie Forleo when we were, like, headed to the beach, and she was like, hey. I said this great idea. I was thinking about teaching an a a digital course Mhmm. To teach online marketing to women.
Kate Northrup:
What do you think?
Preston Smiles:
Yeah.
Kate Northrup:
And I was like, so, like, to be there at that time and just, like, be in it, and then we were, like, super not in it in a small town in Maine, and then being back in Miami, I don't think I could give it up again.
Preston Smiles:
Correct. No.
Kate Northrup:
You guys are winning. Always lived in LA. I lived in LA. Beforehand. Yep.
Kate Northrup:
So you've always been in a hub. Like, that's Ish. Austin's not new for you in terms of that.
Preston Smiles:
No. But Austin is age appropriate. So It's an it it's like a
Kate Northrup:
trans older? Or Yes. Like, families at least.
Preston Smiles:
Families, it's an elevated sort of like, if I had to explain because I travel all over the world. Yeah. It's a super grounded, elevated sort of type of person who's like, will be in any given circle and, like, at least 2 to 3 people will have private jets, and you would never know that.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah. They
Preston Smiles:
wouldn't dress like it. Their cars wouldn't look like it. It it just wouldn't Yeah. Cross your mind that this person is that rich. Right?
Preston Smiles:
But they're so grounded and super, like, let's be friends. Yeah. Right? It's that moment where you finally get what life is about. Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
And then, you know, everybody goes to their proving phase, and then there's a moment where you're, like, okay. Well, could die any moment now, so let's just have some fun. Yeah. And it's be here. Kindest city.
Kate Northrup:
I love that.
Preston Smiles:
Where people, like, like each other and, like, hang out quite a bit. And when someone says, let's meet up, like, they genuinely mean it, and it they will make it happen.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah. So there's follow through. There's integrity, which would be possibly different than your previous experience because I I don't hear that that's true about
Preston Smiles:
LA is tricky, man. It's so tricky. I grew up there. Yeah. So there's 2 LA's.
Preston Smiles:
There's the one people from Idaho and Yeah. Minnesota LA, which is all like Kardashian and Hollywood. Yeah. And it's like up that way. And then there's the rest of the 16,000,000 of us that are like blue collar regular ass people.
Preston Smiles:
Yeah. And so I grew up in a part of LA where I knew everybody. Yeah. Like, it was like a small town, and we actually did, you know, I I think we're about the same age. I think we actually are.
Preston Smiles:
I grew up in a time where especially if you live in California where there was no technology Yeah. And I just was outside all day, every day Absolutely. On bikes, like, 20 miles away skateboarding and doing crazy stuff, and, like, there's, like, a 100 kids in my neighborhood and, like You're just
Kate Northrup:
out.
Preston Smiles:
Yeah. Just gone.
Kate Northrup:
It's amazing.
Preston Smiles:
Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:
So you just said something about, like, everybody goes through their period of life of proving. Mhmm. So in terms of your trajectory
Preston Smiles:
Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:
Like, I you know, I've heard you speak about kinda where you grew up, what the environment was like, and so feel free to fill in any details you want there that would be relevant. But I'm just curious in your trajectory, where would you say you are in that evolution of, like because I think particularly, maybe, correct me if I'm wrong, particularly for men, there's maybe a little bit more conditioning towards that era of proving. Yes. You have 4 little kids. Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:
Their oldest is 6. Oldest is 6. Yes. Baby is 2. Okay.
Kate Northrup:
So little littles.
Preston Smiles:
Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:
Well, not as little as before, but, like, still right in there.
Preston Smiles:
Yes.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah. Like, where are you at with your relationship to proving?
Preston Smiles:
You know, it's it's a beautiful one. My whole thing around all of this is awareness proceeds choice. Right? And we can't intervene in a world we can't see, And so the person who's the most aware, at some level, wins the game, not that it's a competition, but, they have more choice. Mhmm.
Preston Smiles:
Right? And so I can see the places where I wanna flex. And, I had a recent discovery with my wife, because we've been in such a good place. Like, we had a couple years that were just absolute hell, and we came out of that and had an entire year of just pure connection and joy and play, but I caught recently that I was still moving from what we call the drama triangle and proving that I wasn't a villain.
Kate Northrup:
To her. Yes. Or just in general.
Preston Smiles:
In general, but especially to her. Right? Wanting to because when you're in the drama triangle, right, there's the the the victim Perpetrator. The villain, and the hero. Okay.
Preston Smiles:
And growing up, I had this beautiful, well meaning Virgo mother who Love a Virgo. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:
I don't know what. Okay? My wife is also a Virgo. I'm surrounded
Preston Smiles:
by them, and I love them and I hate them, and it's so good. Right? And so she was so particular as a mom that my little Leo boy energy was, like, alright, you're not safe. So I'm gonna hide everything about me from you. And, you know, you wear a mask so long and you play a role so long that the role starts to play you.
Preston Smiles:
And I've gotten to the point where I'm and we say this in our workshops all the time. You can't disown that which you've never owned. And so I'm in the I'm in the stage of proving to myself that I can unhook from these stories and these ways that I've navigated the world that kept me safe. They made me a bunch of money, got me a bunch of notoriety and all that stuff. And what's the next evolution?
Preston Smiles:
Right? None of it's bad or wrong, but, like, okay. That that no longer serves me.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
And and to me, that's that is what keeps life interesting and exciting. I I I think proving is beautiful, and here's the piece I wanna hit. So, Cassius is 2. Kingston is 6 going on 7. Cassius would see the twins, Zahara and Xi and Kingston.
Kate Northrup:
They're in the middle.
Preston Smiles:
Yes. Okay. Running around, jumping off of stuff, and you could see the envy in his eyes as they did cool stuff. Right? Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
And at some point, that envy right? Because we we we we say a lot about these kind of words, but there's a beauty to it. Yeah. Right? He became so envious of his brothers and sisters running and jumping and doing cool stuff that he advanced by way of that envy.
Preston Smiles:
Right? And so I'm proving to myself through envy. I'm looking at certain people who have pieces to the puzzle that I want for myself. And I'm like, yes. Game on.
Preston Smiles:
That part. Right? And just continuing to tinker.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah. So beautiful. And and the way that, like, when we are able to look outside ourselves for evidence of what might be possible and for inspiration
Preston Smiles:
Yes.
Kate Northrup:
And let that jealousy or envy become inspiring to us and evidence as opposed to as proof that we can't have it, which is often conditioning. So you said something about awareness must proceed Choice. Choice. And I'm curious. I was just writing about this, and I have my own thoughts, but I want to know what you think, which is, like, largely our unconscious is what is determining our behavior and therefore our reality.
Preston Smiles:
Yes.
Kate Northrup:
And we can't change things that we are not aware of. So how do we how do you Mhmm. Like to position either for yourself or your clients, whatever, becoming aware of our unconscious limitations when they're unconscious, so therefore, we can't see them. Like, what are your favorite ways to do that?
Preston Smiles:
Well, that's a beautiful question. A part of the workshop that my wife and I lead called the bridge experience is literally that. It's an experiment. It's like, like, if Spartan race meant, like, met and had a baby with, like, Ayahuasca and, like, like, a safe room or, like, escape room. Escape room.
Preston Smiles:
Yeah. But, for myself, one of the best ways is to notice the triggers. Right? The of course. Like, of course, you should drive like this.
Preston Smiles:
Of course, I said this to you, like, you know, there's been times where my wife and I are arguing, and I have this thought in my head, she should hug me right now. Right? And so I'll notice
Kate Northrup:
In a fight?
Preston Smiles:
Yes. Interesting. After after we've made up Mhmm. I'll make up a new story to be triggered by called that's her job. Right?
Preston Smiles:
And then and then have to work through, like, oh, okay. But if you smelled it, you dealt it. Right? Like Yeah. What is this really about?
Preston Smiles:
Right? And so one of the easiest ways for me to find the next stage of my evolution is to look at what I get triggered by and to, question it and really sit with it and let let pull it apart. Like, is this a fact or is this a philosophy? Right. Right?
Preston Smiles:
Because if I treat it like a fact, it concretizes in my body and my system and it shuts down my seeing. So I I say this in our workshop often. The moment I think I know Alexi, our relationship is over every time. And so I have to keep unhooking from what I think I know about her, because we're 11 years in, and rediscover her in that moment. Mhmm.
Preston Smiles:
You know? And so there's all this new juicy woman stuff that comes online when I stop putting her in a box. Right. And so the same is true for abundance. The same is true for money.
Preston Smiles:
The same is true for, sex and and play and levels of joy and pleasure that most of us have never touched. You know?
Kate Northrup:
Well, because the mystery creates, like, the life force and the eros and the and the, like, aliveness.
Preston Smiles:
Yeah. And it assumes that we're controlling any of this. Right? Like, my whole game is it's me and God Mhmm. And the work for myself.
Preston Smiles:
I did a mushroom ceremony many, many years ago in Joshua Tree, California, and it was one of my first ones. I think it was the first one. And I had this moment out there deep in the desert where I started to experience these, like, enormous waves of, like, godlike presence. Like, everything I saw, I was like, god. God.
Preston Smiles:
God. God. God. And it just hit me, and then I had this thought, why why don't you try to do this when you're not on mushrooms?
Kate Northrup:
Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
Let's see what happens.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
And so the next day, I went back to, home and I went to a cafe, and I set an alarm. And I said, from this hour to this hour, I'm only gonna see the face of God in everything. And, I mean, when I tell you the level of high that I was on Yeah. And and what was reflected back and how people treated me as well and, like, the the attention and intention that went into, like, even opening the door at my local coffee shop and, like, the dogs that were around, and I just was blown away. And so we can't control any of this stuff, you know?
Preston Smiles:
We're we're co creating and making ourselves available for as much life as we can hold.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah. Yeah. You talk about abundance quite a bit. You're an abundance teacher or, you know, whatever communicator. What do you think has set you up to be one of the ideal candidates to communicate on behalf of abundance or to share abundance with the world?
Preston Smiles:
Man. There's so many pieces. I'll start with, I've felt many times in this lifetime a good portion of my life, I was the opposite of that. I got in this work because I had a heart condition come up, And the heart condition came up because I was not processing the overwhelming traumas and all the shame that I experienced over a lifetime starting at, like, 5 years old when my mom and dad argued about whether I was special needs or not. And, you know, I I look at my 5 year old and 6 year old now, and I'm like, they're pretty conscious.
Preston Smiles:
So I can only imagine that if 2 people are arguing about whether this person is retarded or not, that that would have an effect on that little boy. Yeah. And so over the years and time, years years years, I became, much more insulated and a better chameleon and liar and but I still hated myself at some level, which goes back to the proving piece. And so to come from the depths of what could be considered hell and move through all of this trauma and recalibrate my nervous system to a place where, you know, I was rich before I was ever rich. Right?
Preston Smiles:
When I was a surf instructor in LA, I was so high on my own supply that that people just kept coming to me.
Kate Northrup:
I'm sure they did.
Preston Smiles:
They, like, legit. I was one of those dudes. They're, like, what is this dude on? And people would say that all the time. They're, like, is this, like, how you actually are?
Preston Smiles:
And I'm, like, I am.
Kate Northrup:
It's fucking awesome, bro.
Preston Smiles:
Like, you know, and so it literally just would reverberate through the room and every guy start figuring it out. I'm, like, oh, God, the universe is like electricity. Electricity never says no. It always says yes. It it has one question.
Preston Smiles:
And that question is is have you built the infrastructure for what you're plugging it up? And so, you know, electricity says, you wanna plug up an iPhone? Go for it. Wanna plug up a Tesla? Go for it.
Preston Smiles:
Wanna plug up an entire building? Go for it. But you better have the infrastructure. Yeah. And so I've been building a somatic body year after year after year.
Preston Smiles:
Whether I had it or saw it in the physical, I felt it in consciousness and kept moving through the stuff with my dad, the stuff with my mom, the stuff with whether I was worthy or not to have a seat at the table, And the more and more I move through that stuff, the more, the toys and the outward expression shows itself.
Kate Northrup:
So I've heard you talk about the laws of prosperity laws of abundance. Mhmm. You don't say prosperity. Laws of abundance. Is there one in particular I mean, feel free to share as many as you want.
Kate Northrup:
But is there one in particular that's feeling really alive in your life and your own practice right now?
Preston Smiles:
There's so many I'm I'm in the process. We're finishing the book right now. It comes out in October.
Kate Northrup:
I'm excited to read it.
Preston Smiles:
Spiritual millionaire out in October out right now.
Kate Northrup:
Right.
Preston Smiles:
Right. There's so much juiciness in it. I think the thing that's most alive for me right now, is a subchapter around fasting from lack. Because, you know, I've noticed in our culture, right, especially the, like, health and wellness culture, we will intermittent fast and do all kinds of stuff, which is awesome, right, and getting our cold cold plunges and
Kate Northrup:
do that thing. For me, sis.
Preston Smiles:
Yes. Right? But the game for me, the thing that I've noticed is, fasting from struggle, fasting from lack, giving myself a break from the weapon of mass distraction as it pertains to, like, lack limitation and scarcity, and, like, really, really, actually allowing myself to catch that I am not even consciously trying to think about beating my heart, that there's no part of me that's trying to figure out whether there's enough air, that I trust that the moon and the stars and the sun and the and the the the butterflies and all of it, like, we you know this, but we were talking about it earlier. We live on the 4 acres. I've made it a practice to get to know everything on that land.
Preston Smiles:
Every blade of grass, you know, there's the the lizard that lives on the trash can named Leroy. There's there's Jason who lives outside my office. There's, you know and and it's like seasons. Right now, we're in dragonfly season. Right?
Preston Smiles:
And I just noticed, like, the cycles of life, and it's just cyclical, and it's beautiful. So, yeah, fasting from lack Mhmm. Which on the other side of that creates a spaciousness for me to genuinely see how abundant life actually is when I'm not tuned in to trying to get more. Right? More?
Preston Smiles:
Hell, yes. But more from where? Right? Because the context determines the content. So when I'm the context of openness and pleasure and fasting from lack and truly getting like the synchronicities and the beauty of even this, I win.
Preston Smiles:
Mhmm. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah. So good.
Preston Smiles:
Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:
I mean, the truth of our experience Mhmm. Is absolutely abundance, And then the lie is scarcity, and I love that you used all the examples of nature because we are nature. And that's just who we actually are, and then we forget, and then we remember, and then we forget and
Preston Smiles:
we remember.
Kate Northrup:
So you and I have in common a deep love and reverence for the nervous system.
Preston Smiles:
Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:
And I'm curious, how did you first learn or did it first occur to you that we cannot work at the level of the conscious or the mindset alone in order to have transformation? What was one of your first experiences with that for yourself?
Preston Smiles:
Oh, man. There's been so many. I'll say this. One of my mentors who recently passed away a couple weeks ago, Scott Cody, many years back, I was a community organizer, and I created this thing called the love mob. And what we would do is go do organized acts of love all over LA, and then it spanned all different places.
Preston Smiles:
And Marianne Williamson and Michael Beckwith were some of the 2 first speakers that I brought on to help and march the streets and all that stuff. And that led me into a group called ATL, which is the Association of Transformational Leaders, that Jack Canfield started. And, like, I got into this whole world where I was still, like, this broke kid that just, like, loved love. You know? And and from there, I met a gentleman by the name of Scott Cody.
Preston Smiles:
And he had worked with NASS NASA. How do you say NASA? No. NASA. NASA?
Kate Northrup:
Yeah. NASA is a city in the Bahamas That's true. Or an island Yes. Or a city? I don't know.
Kate Northrup:
Regardless. NASA, National Air and Space Association.
Preston Smiles:
Yeah. It worked for them and all kinds of other big organizations around the somatic body and the nervous system. And Okay. For me.
Kate Northrup:
That's really cool.
Preston Smiles:
Yeah. I was like, what is that? What do you even mean? Right? But I understood it from a visceral level because when I had the heart condition come up, the cardiologist told me, he said, hey.
Preston Smiles:
This is what I'll say as a cardiologist. Mhmm. You're 25. You're a kid. You probably shouldn't be here.
Preston Smiles:
As you look down the hall, those are 60 year olds and 7 year olds. So as a doctor, pills, etcetera, as a conscious citizen, you should look at your stress levels and your diet.
Kate Northrup:
Okay.
Preston Smiles:
And that dude changed my entire world and the world of millions of people because I went cold turkey that day. I stopped McDonald's. All the things that I was eating, gone. I became a vegan. I denounced my religion.
Preston Smiles:
I, like, went down the rabbit hole. I was watching zeitgeist and, like, trying to control my parents and all the whole thing. Right? I was, like, a angry vegan Yeah. For a while.
Kate Northrup:
It's angry vegan.
Preston Smiles:
You know them.
Kate Northrup:
You know do. Yep. Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
All that to say, me making the choice cold turkey because I didn't wanna die. Right? That was the gift. The gift was it was so scary that I was like, done. Right?
Preston Smiles:
And so I started healing my body without understanding nervous system and somatics and all that stuff. And so when he came in and he worked with Strozzi, Heckler, and a whole another crew of people, Basically, he introduced it, and from there, I was hooked. Like, absolutely hooked for myself first, and then I started really catching that it doesn't matter how much mindset work we use. If our body has a different experience, it will it will jump in. There's more body than there is mind.
Preston Smiles:
Way more. And and it has its own intelligence, and the freer the body, the freer everything else is.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah. Yeah. What are some of the ways that now, I mean, I think kids actually are just mostly teaching us about the body. But as a dad, with all the little ones, like, I just I mean, you just have so many kids, and they're so small.
Preston Smiles:
It's crazy.
Kate Northrup:
Like, I just you know, we have 2. They're 6 and 8. Yeah. And, like, I feel like the biggest chaos days are, you know, past us. Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:
But, like, I just think about, like, double that, and then they're younger and, like, so You know. From a parenting perspective Yes. How do you practice nervous system regulation? How do you translate that to your kids or just through your parenting? Like, can you just talk about nervous system and parenting?
Preston Smiles:
Yes. Absolutely. They they are the biggest teachers for me, and, I think there's many schools of thought that say when you learn something, the best thing you could do to really have it cemented in you is to teach it to somebody else. Yeah. And so we teach through our actions and who we're being, but we also teach with like, I'll give you an example.
Preston Smiles:
Literally yesterday, my daughter, they have these forts that they build all through the house.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
And she was trying to put this blanket over the fort, but it wouldn't go over. And she kept going. And she's, like, making the loudest sound she possibly can
Kate Northrup:
Uh-huh.
Preston Smiles:
Over and over and over and over and over again. And I said, CZ, do you need some help? And she's just going. She's riled up. And I said, baby, daddy wants to help you, but we're gonna take a deep breath into the bottom of our belly.
Preston Smiles:
And when when we're regulated, we use these words. Yeah. When we're regulated, daddy will come over there as soon as you ask for help. I want to help you. Right?
Preston Smiles:
And so we're constantly teaching them how to get their needs met when regulated.
Kate Northrup:
Right.
Preston Smiles:
When they're not regulated. So for instance, our youngest son, Cassius, he's a firecracker. Right? He came in ready. Right?
Preston Smiles:
And crazy story about that one.
Kate Northrup:
Named him. Yes. With it. Yes. We didn't really catch him.
Kate Northrup:
Do we? We caught
Preston Smiles:
it. Yeah. He is a fighter for sure. So Cassius goes at it. He's the youngest.
Preston Smiles:
He's, like, I'm gonna, like, they'll one of them will be having, like, let's say, like, a popsicle, and he'll just walk up and be like, bam. And then take it and put it back in his mouth.
Kate Northrup:
Amazing when it's the littlest. It's just the best.
Preston Smiles:
And our kids are, like, hippies. Right? So they have, like, literally, I'm not even joking, over 2,000 crystals in our house. They're their crystals. Mhmm.
Preston Smiles:
And they'll be like, my amethyst broke last night.
Kate Northrup:
And I'm like, how do you know this? Like, who are you, bro?
Preston Smiles:
I grew up in LA.
Kate Northrup:
What is going on here? Right?
Preston Smiles:
But long story short, cash is a little he runs a little hotter. Right? And so we know that 2 things. 1, connect before you correct. Mhmm.
Preston Smiles:
And that to a untraumatized human, let's call it it takes anywhere from 20 minutes to let's call it an hour to get back regulated. For somebody who's experienced deep levels of trauma, it could be days. Right? It could be 4 days before that person is back online. Right?
Preston Smiles:
And so our kids haven't been super traumatized, so what we'll do with Cash is we will say nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's just about hugs. It's just about holding them on our chest. And when he's really back, then we'll say, hey, Cassius, It doesn't work in our house to snatch things from everybody else.
Preston Smiles:
Okay? And when that happens, this is also what happens. Right? And we'll but we do not talk to them until they're back online,
Kate Northrup:
basically. Yeah. And for you for for people who maybe don't know what that feels like Yes. For themselves to be back online or for a child to be back online or for their partner to be back online
Preston Smiles:
Yes.
Kate Northrup:
Can you describe what that sensation is for you?
Preston Smiles:
Yes. So all humans, in my opinion, at some level are always looking to check off 3 boxes, approval, control, and if they do not get the approval or the security, which is the overarching one. Everybody's looking to feel safe. That's where I'm going with this. Safety is the biggest piece.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
If you like me, I feel safe. If you approve of me, I feel safe. If I'm inside of the cave, inside of the herd, inside of the posse, I feel safe. If I'm outside, based on the animalistic part of me, I could be eaten by a tiger, etcetera. Right?
Preston Smiles:
So when we don't feel safe, whether it's real or not, the body shoots a chemical cocktail to produce the act of safety. Right? Because sometimes it could just be an email, but to the body, which hasn't caught up. Right? The animalistic, reptilian brain hasn't caught up to the prefrontal cortex and the, like, nerd thinking.
Kate Northrup:
The nerd brain question. Yes.
Preston Smiles:
I like that. When we go into these states, as you know, we can go into fight, flight, freeze, or appease, which is a new one. And whether you're aware of that or not, let's just call it the feeling of tightness, the feeling of agitation, the feeling of fear or unsettledness. Some people that's their entire life. They're that's their baseline.
Preston Smiles:
And I know it because it was me. Yeah. Right. You, some people, they come into our workshops and we'll say, let your jaw go. And they'll go, what?
Preston Smiles:
What? Like, let your jaw go. They're like, no, I'm fine. They're like, no, you're not. You're like, right.
Preston Smiles:
And they don't know that they're holding so much tension in their jaw. Right? Or we we have this exercise where we allow people to share their deepest, darkest secrets Mhmm. In an arc with other people.
Kate Northrup:
Mhmm.
Preston Smiles:
And there's another exercise where that happens nude. But the first one, which is not nude, people will get up there and they'll go to share their thing and their hands will start shaking and they'll twitch and, like, the lip will start doing a thing and the body is saying, yo, we got energy. Right? There's a an unsettledness that sits in most people's lives. So the opposite of that, for those of you who've ever done, MDMA or had a beautiful experience at church or a epic lovemaking session where after it was over, you just felt this calm.
Preston Smiles:
Mhmm. Right? This, like, ease, safe in the body, all the way here, fully present. That is regulation. And a lot of humans on this planet maybe visit that once every few months if that and it's one of the most important pieces to the healing of us as a species, regulation, as much regulation as humanly possible.
Kate Northrup:
And would you say that regulation is the same experience as feeling like an embodied experience of love, or is that different?
Preston Smiles:
Yes and no. Because I have my concept of love is that we can't be outside of it. So for some people, it's this gooey thing where it's like, I'm in love with another being. To me, every breath we take is love. This we're inside of an organism, inside of an organism, inside of one.
Preston Smiles:
However, just the baseline of feeling safe and grounded and present in the body, whether you feel euphoric things or not, to me, that is regulation.
Kate Northrup:
Mhmm. And And what does regulation have to do with abundance and more specifically financial abundance?
Preston Smiles:
Yes. So, there's a line in conversations with God book 1 where he says, you cannot have what you want, but you may experience what you have. And you and I, both had the pleasure of, experiencing, you know, lots of money and lots of toys and all of that stuff, and also being around people who have those things. And I'm sure the listeners maybe have the same experience where you've been around someone who has everything but feels empty, dark Yeah. Crunchy.
Preston Smiles:
Right? And so, to me, abundance and the offshoot of abundance, one sliver of it called money is all the same thing. It's material on God's green beautiful earth that we use, and the entity that we call whatever we call it, is a divine matchmaker. And our job in the matchmaking process is to say yes to our yes. Is to be a full yes to the gifts, talents, abilities, dreams, desires that are on our heart because those are our divine curriculum.
Preston Smiles:
And, here's what's beautiful about money and the game of money. I have clients sometimes who come into my program and they'll say something like this.
Kate Northrup:
I'm just so bad with money. Like, I just really wanna, like, figure out, like, this money thing because I'm just so bad with it.
Preston Smiles:
And I'll go, oh my god. Really? How do you know?
Kate Northrup:
Well, I haven't been able to
Preston Smiles:
x, y, and z. And I'll go, are you is like, is that a fact? Like, do you know that that's not coming?
So this this was a recent one. Somebody came on, and I asked her about how much money do you think has been spent on housing for you? And she just, like, you could feel the, like, oh, shit moment for her.
Kate Northrup:
And I
Preston Smiles:
said, no. But I want you to answer so everybody else can hear. Right? Like, you're, what, 45? Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
Yeah. Okay. How long have you been in apartments, houses, or something? How long has money been flowing for you to stay in a house? 45 years.
Preston Smiles:
Exactly. Okay. So how much money have you manifested, called in to be in the sacred dance with so that you could have housing? She was like, probably a million. Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
Yes. So you wanna tell me you're bad with money, but you've called in at least $1,000,000 to make sure that you're housed? Right? It's a perception. Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
And so the more regulated I am, the more available I am to see the bullshit and the epic. Right? To see the truth with the eye behind the eye. So many of us are so blinded because we're hooked into the the, lack limitation and scarcity train that has been cleverly created, but is on its way out. And that's why we that's why people find you.
Preston Smiles:
That's why they find me. I've read your book. I loved it. Thanks. Yes.
Preston Smiles:
I it's it's really cool what's happening right now. Yeah. And I think it's one of the most important pieces to all the other pieces. Because a lot of people we we study a lot of stuff, but most people never study abundance. They never actually study, like, what does it actually mean?
Preston Smiles:
Why is it that when this when I'm looking at this tree, I say it has no value. Somebody cuts it down and it becomes paper, still kind of value maybe, whatever. Somebody puts green stuff on that paper and puts a $100 bill on it, and now I go into a conniption. Right? Like, there's a there what is the moment?
Preston Smiles:
Yeah. How about we love the tree and the whole process and get that none of it matters and all of it matters because we're just little fucking ants. We'll be gone one day.
Kate Northrup:
We're yeah. We're just a breath. Here's what I'm really present to right now, which feels really exciting, is that, while I haven't read your book Mhmm. Yet I'm so excited too. I've listened to you on a lot of podcasts and just even listening to you right now through completely separate paths.
Kate Northrup:
We never knew each other before. Correct. Like, whatever, we have come to fundamentally Yes. The same understanding of how the universe works, how the body works, how abundance works, how money works. And so we're only 2 people, but it just feels good to acknowledge that, like, it's probably true.
Preston Smiles:
Nice.
Kate Northrup:
If 2 people from opposite ends of the country, literally, Maine and LA, from totally different like, I haven't worked with the same people you've worked with. I don't even know who they are. You're saying all new names to me. I mean,
Preston Smiles:
I don't know
Kate Northrup:
if Jack can fill this, but, like like, it's cool. Yes. Right?
Preston Smiles:
It's freaking awesome. That cool? Let me tell you how I found out about you.
Kate Northrup:
Oh, please
Preston Smiles:
tell me. Said to me, hey. There's this woman named Kate Northrop who is like the white version of you. And I was like, what? So I was
Kate Northrup:
like, let me find out. The white woman press.
Preston Smiles:
Yes. So then we both went on Emily Fletcher's podcast. Right? And so I went and looked, and I was like, shut up.
Kate Northrup:
And I'm like, okay.
Preston Smiles:
Let's go. I even commented on the thing. I'm like That's
Kate Northrup:
so sweet.
Preston Smiles:
Yes. She gets it. And you know who else, who somebody brought to my attention recently and I absolutely love and she's crazy and I love it? Amanda Francis.
Kate Northrup:
Oh, I freaking love her. Yeah. I read her book, Rich as Fuck?
Preston Smiles:
Yes. Is
Kate Northrup:
her is that her book?
Preston Smiles:
Is that
Kate Northrup:
what it's called? Yes. I read that book, and I have some, like, hangover academic trauma Mhmm. And there was something so beautiful Yes. About, like, she literally just publishing a book
Preston Smiles:
Yes.
Kate Northrup:
Sentence sentence sentence Yes. Ended with LOL. I was like, you can I could do whatever I want?
Preston Smiles:
Anything. If she could
Kate Northrup:
I can do anything.
Preston Smiles:
I can
Kate Northrup:
do whatever I want. She is so deeply permissive.
Preston Smiles:
That.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
That. She's the the challenger in me loves people to challenge the the status quo, and, yes, I think that okay. So I went and spent 8 days in the woods, 4 of which were by myself, no water. I had 2 gallons of water, and just out in the woods, butt naked, just sitting there. Right?
Kate Northrup:
K.
Preston Smiles:
And no tent. And I had this beautiful, like I had so many profound moments, but one of them was being able to witness nature. Right? To be in it, of it, to hear the coyotes, the the prettiest sound I've ever heard in my life minus my children's giggles and my wife's orgasm is the sound of the, like, 50,000,000 birds at dawn when they sing. Oh my god.
Preston Smiles:
In the woods by yourself? I it's orgasmic. But all that to say, what I started to understand, right, watching the ecosystem do its thing, you sit there long enough, it'll all come to you. Watching the birds pick off the worms, watching the ants gather and do their thing, watching the spider as I walk by go back into his little thing, like, oh, that that dude that black dude's here again. And then as soon as I leave, he come back out, like, yo,
Kate Northrup:
where you at? Right?
Preston Smiles:
Just watching it all, the coyotes howling. I recognize that birds of a feather flock together, that we always find each other, and that we are a response. You're a response. I'm a response to a call. We all heard the same call.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah. And I
Preston Smiles:
think it was Nietzsche that said, and those who were seen dancing were called crazy by those who could not hear the music. And it feels good to not be alone in the music that you hear.
Kate Northrup:
It does. Right? It feels really good to listen to you say the things in a very different way
Preston Smiles:
Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:
Than I would say them Mhmm. That, like, I have learned from not from
Preston Smiles:
a book. Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:
I mean, sure, I read a lot. Like, from an internalized Yes. Experience. So, anyway, thanks for being you. Epic.
Preston Smiles:
Absolutely epic.
Kate Northrup:
Coming back.
Preston Smiles:
Yes.
Kate Northrup:
I feel like there was a a an open thread Mhmm. With the with the victim whatever you called it with the triangle.
Preston Smiles:
Trauma triangle. Yes.
Kate Northrup:
Trauma triangle Yes. With your wife Mhmm. And coming into a newer piece of work Mhmm. And proving to her that you were no longer the villain. Yes.
Kate Northrup:
You talked about your Virgo mom. Mhmm. Somehow, I feel like there was something else in there Yes. That maybe you need to say or that would be relevant to somebody. Like Yes.
Kate Northrup:
What was that about for you? Do you think it was just a repetition of your relationship with your mom, and what did you learn, and, like, what are you doing differently now?
Preston Smiles:
Yes. So here's my, understanding thus far is somebody asked me on a podcast many years ago, you coach all these people. You're sort of like a generalist, but also a specialist. What's the thing? And I said the thing is easy.
Preston Smiles:
It's parents, sex, and money. Right? And parents dictates the other 2. Right? And I think we all have seasons where we chip away at what's not ours anymore, and they cycle and circle just like the seasons on the planet.
Preston Smiles:
And so I'm in a season where I'm catching a detail. I'm catching an essence. I'm catching something that no longer fits in my system, and it's it's foreign now. And I tell my clients all the time, the moment something is up for you, it's already downhill. The moment it's up, we're going downhill.
Preston Smiles:
The healing is already there because the awareness the moment I have an awareness, oh, this doesn't fit anymore. Boom. It's done. Right. Right?
Preston Smiles:
Now it's just a formality. Now I'm gonna play the game and notice and shift, and and I and I have more to play with because life would be super boring if we didn't. Right? Yeah. I it's when I didn't have a bunch of money and stuff, all I wanted to do was get a bunch of money and get get to 0, which is a very masculine thing.
Preston Smiles:
Right? Got there. Done. Landed. Nothing more to do.
Preston Smiles:
Nothing more to say, bro. Right? And then then there's a moment where there's a moment where it the the allure of that wears off. Yeah. And you get, like, okay.
Preston Smiles:
So this whole thing is stupid in some ways. Yeah. It's just we're just doing this thing. Might as well make it fun. Might as well make it interesting.
Preston Smiles:
And what legacy do I want to leave by way of my way of being? What, you know, people like sports and stuff like that. We're we're nerds in this way. You're a nerd, I'm a nerd, and probably everybody in this room is in that. It's I'm like a heat seeking missile for how good can it get.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
And I also think everything's a prayer. And so me extricating and doing the the surgery and giving the eviction notice to the stuff that no longer fits is like my favorite quote from the gnostic gospels of Thomas, if you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you. That is the place I'm in right now. It's now here, and it will destroy me if it stays.
Preston Smiles:
And so all of life is circulating. Absolutely everything. The air in this building, the the cells in my body, it's all circulating, and the only time that we make it hard for ourselves is when we stop the circulation of body of water without an inlet or an outlet is a swamp, and swamps carry diseases. There's a purpose for them at times, and yet we need the inlet Mhmm. And the outlet.
Preston Smiles:
Mhmm. That's why You
Kate Northrup:
gotta make it move.
Preston Smiles:
Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:
So is that why you decided to write a book? Because presumably, you could have done that. Is this is your fur not your first book.
Preston Smiles:
What was My first book was Love Louder.
Kate Northrup:
Okay.
Preston Smiles:
The second book, Alexi and I wrote together called Now or Never.
Kate Northrup:
Okay.
Preston Smiles:
And I told myself I'd never read another book because it's, as you know, a whole feet to do so. Yeah. But my hand was forced. Okay. I had to.
Kate Northrup:
This so this is part of that Yes. What, you know, what is within you. That part. You have to do this. Correct.
Preston Smiles:
And what Because there's so many people that can can't make it to the workshop. Oh, I can't press that.
Kate Northrup:
No. It's like yeah, you gotta write a book. I can't. Correct. I'm just like, absolutely.
Kate Northrup:
Yes. What's it been like for you, especially given that you said never again?
Preston Smiles:
Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:
Like, what's the writing process been like?
Preston Smiles:
Okay. So I'm gonna just also give you one more quick story. So I'm in the I'm in the woods by myself. Day 3, I barely drank any water for 24 hours, and I'm, like, not hallucinating, but I'm going in I'm going in.
Kate Northrup:
Kind of.
Preston Smiles:
Yeah. I'm going in. Right? What got me to the dance was the inner mystic, and and yet when it started to happen, my ego mind jumped in, and the warrior and the king said, let's do it. We can we can make a business out of this.
Preston Smiles:
And I started to see what I could do for my family.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
Right? Which is beautiful. Yeah. And yet, I'm out there hallucinating, and the the medicine
Kate Northrup:
Gonna call a thing a thing.
Preston Smiles:
Yes. The medicine of the woods Yeah. Said, bro, it's time to come back. Mhmm. Right?
Preston Smiles:
It's time to come back to what got you to the dance. Wow. Trust the spiritual aspect of yourself. Mhmm. Trust the part of you that was so tuned in and tapped in.
Preston Smiles:
I mean, I got 3 crazy stories. I have so many, but 3 where I listened and one, I didn't die because my friends were shot that day. I listened. The voice said, don't go. I didn't go.
Preston Smiles:
All my friends were shot. Best friend shot, killed. I listened. So on a blind date, I wasn't going in gonna go on a date. The voice said, go on the date.
Preston Smiles:
I go, I meet my wife. 2 years later, I'm in New York. I sit down with a friend at a cafe, the voice says, get up and go to buy some boots, and I'm, like, that's stupid. What do you mean? But it's have been happening my whole life.
Preston Smiles:
So I said, okay. Okay. I'll go. I go. I go up into, Barney's or something.
Preston Smiles:
I get to the 3rd floor. The voice says, go back downstairs. I'm like, bro.
Kate Northrup:
The spiritual temple of Barney?
Preston Smiles:
It's crazy. Watch this. I go. I get to the door. As soon as I open the door, I hear skirt.
Preston Smiles:
No. And I see this woman flying through the air, and she lands. Her brains splatter out the back, and I instantly know why I'm there. And I run over to her. A doctor comes from that side, a nurse comes from that side, everybody else is like Yeah.
Preston Smiles:
One of those because it's horrific and it's mother's day, and I none. So I go with her and go into an altered state. I'm holding her feet, praying, the whole thing. Long story short, there's a moment where I know. The voice says, open your eyes.
Preston Smiles:
Open my eyes. She takes her last breath right in front of me, and I go, okay. Got it. And so I share all that to say. That voice came back, and it said, it's time to go back to what got you to the dance.
Preston Smiles:
And a part of that is going to be you sharing this wisdom, because you have the unique experience of being, quote, unquote, a poor person, and, quote, unquote, a rich person. And you know what's really going on here. And so as an intermediate, this is your message to bring forward. And I said, spirit got it. What's beautiful, in all transparency, is this is probably the writing process, and this whole process has been one of the, let's call it, least money making years of my life.
Preston Smiles:
And yet, it's been one of the most fulfilling. And I also trust and know and understand what god is doing. It's using me.
Kate Northrup:
Yeah. Mhmm. When you say, you know, you held your hands out, it's, you know, I've been quote, unquote a poor person, quote, unquote rich person, and it's a unique experience of having experienced both
Preston Smiles:
Yes.
Kate Northrup:
So you can know what's really going on here.
Preston Smiles:
Uh-huh.
Kate Northrup:
So what's really going on here?
Preston Smiles:
Love. It's all love. It's all beautiful expressions of love. It's just a dance. None of it matters.
Preston Smiles:
All of it matters. We're all marching towards death. There is a certain number of beats in that heart and in this one and in every heart, and there will be a day when that beat doesn't do it again. And when we get to that day and that moment, there will be a reckoning, a beautiful one. The cool part, from what I've understood in my ceremonies and in my journeys, is that that quote, unquote ending is just a new beginning because energy can never be born and therefore never die.
Preston Smiles:
And so we will leave these epic skin suits, but the soul will dance on, and we will potentially have an opportunity to come back or just keep dancing in the cosmos. And so it's it's while we're here, we might as well play with the materials of the earth and imbue them and love them and see them and go, yes. Yes. Right? Out of all the glasses in the whole wide world, out of 8,000,000,000 people on the planet, we found each other.
Preston Smiles:
We found each other out of 8,000,000,000 people. That's a miracle. Like, these fake ass plants out of 8,000,000,000 fake ass plants, that this is the dance. Right? This beautiful set.
Preston Smiles:
This apartment was always yours. It was yours 30 years ago. This Indian thing which is awesome and colorful was mine 50 years ago when it was something else because we all signed up to play.
Kate Northrup:
Mhmm.
Preston Smiles:
So it it takes all the pressure off of making everything so, this is gonna make my life. Yes and no. Yeah. The Target shirt that I wear is just as important as the $500 shirt. Right?
Preston Smiles:
Because it's the materials. We said yes to each other. So my only job is to say yes. The rest of it is good to go.
Kate Northrup:
Just like electricity. That. So great. Thank you.
Preston Smiles:
Thank you. Thank you. Literally, thank you. Because there's a whole bunch of stuff that nobody sees that you do internally, externally, every single day to be in a position to ask these type of questions, to be in a position to hire a staff, to show up, to having an extra apartment, to being a good mom, to showing up and kissing your husband when he walks through the door, all that stuff doesn't get missed on a person like me. I understand genuinely what it to the degree that I can, what it's taken for you to be sitting here.
Preston Smiles:
Right? And so for everybody else viewing, listening, all that stuff, I know you get it. I know you appreciate it, but, like, hear it from somebody else. Who Kate is and what she has brought to the table is big, and it's making a difference, and her name is flying around because it should. Thank you.
Preston Smiles:
Thank you. Thank you. So
Kate Northrup:
where can people find your book? Where can they connect with you?
Preston Smiles:
Prestonsmiles.comforward/book. Hey. You know what's cool? I got the first copy the other day.
Kate Northrup:
Let's let's show it.
Preston Smiles:
It's right there in the top of that backpack. Yes. Yep.
Kate Northrup:
Don't mind while my husband goes through your stuff. Yes. Do it, bro.
Preston Smiles:
There's there's
Kate Northrup:
Yeah. Let's put it out here.
Preston Smiles:
So this is this is
Kate Northrup:
I'm so glad you brought it.
Preston Smiles:
So this is it, and it isn't it because there's way more to go, but this is what it's going to look like. Yes. So Uh-huh.
Kate Northrup:
Hold? Okay. Yes. Amazing. Okay.
Kate Northrup:
Prestonsmiles.comforward/book.
Preston Smiles:
Yes. Or at prestonsmiles on Instagram or YouTube or Facebook or whatever the case
Kate Northrup:
There it is.
Preston Smiles:
Yeah. So Beautiful. Yeah. Thanks. It's fun.
Preston Smiles:
Yeah. Thank you for having
Kate Northrup:
me. Good. Thank you. What if you were making great money scaling a business that you love while having more time for the other things that matter all while being relaxed? That reality is possible for you when you heal the way you work.
Kate Northrup:
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