Hearing is Understanding What Isn’t Said in Communication

In this episode, we unpack Peter Drucker’s insight: “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” Through Abraham Lincoln’s leadership during the Civil War, we explore how listening beyond words can transform your communication and leadership.

Team Of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln

Creators & Guests

Host

Dusty Holcomb

Dusty Holcomb is the Founder & CEO of The Arcqus Group, a leadership consulting and executive coaching firm focused on helping leaders achieve their highest potential. With over 25 years of experience driving growth and building high-performing teams, Dusty is committed to principles-centered leadership and empowering others to lead with purpose. A five-time Ironman finisher and lifelong learner, Dusty brings passion and discipline to every aspect of leadership development.

What is The Leadership "Quote-ient" With Dusty Holcomb?

Hosted by Dusty Holcomb, Leadership "Quote-ient" explores the connection between powerful quotes and self-leadership. Each episode dives into timeless wisdom and its practical application, helping you grow with clarity and purpose. Designed for those striving to lead themselves and others, this podcast offers insights to guide your personal and professional journey. Join Dusty for thoughtful reflections and actionable takeaways that inspire intentional and impactful leadership.

Dusty Holcomb: 00:04

Welcome to the Leadership Quotient. I'm Dusty Holcomb. And each day, I'll share a meaningful quote and explore how it applies to leadership and personal growth. Together, we'll unpack lessons that help you lead yourself and others with purpose and clarity. Let's get started.

Dusty Holcomb: 00:22

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. Peter Drucker. Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking that you understood only to realize much later that you completely missed the point? Communication isn't just about hearing words. It's about understanding the full message, including what's left unsaid.

Dusty Holcomb: 00:45

One of the most powerful examples of listening to the unspoken comes from Abraham Lincoln during the Civil War. In 18/62, General George McClellan had repeatedly delayed advancing his troops, frustrating Lincoln and jeopardizing the Union's position. Rather than issuing a directive, Lincoln sent a letter asking, if you're not using the army, I should like to borrow it for a while. What wasn't said was just as important as what was. Lincoln's tone conveyed his frustration, but it also showed restraint.

Dusty Holcomb: 01:17

He knew that pushing McClellan too hard could alienate him, so he chose a subtle but firm approach. By carefully balancing what he said and what he didn't, Lincoln opened the door for McClellan to act without feeling undermined. As leaders, we often fall into the trap of listening to respond. Instead, we must listen to understand. We must listen to connect.

Dusty Holcomb: 01:41

This means paying attention to body language, tone, silence, as well as the words themselves. Communication isn't just about what's said, it's about understanding the full picture. Here's a couple of practical applications for you. 1st, pause before responding. During your next conversation, take a moment to process what's being said before replying.

Dusty Holcomb: 02:04

Ask yourself, what's the deeper message here? 2nd, observe the nonverbal cues. Pay attention to body language, tone of voice, and timing. Those often reveal what words cannot. 3rd, reflect on miscommunication.

Dusty Holcomb: 02:20

Think back to a recent conversation where you misunderstood. Ask yourself, did I truly listen or was I focused on my response? Communication isn't just words, it's meaning. To lead effectively, you must tune into the unspoken and hear what others might not be saying outright. Today, challenge yourself to truly listen during a conversation.

Dusty Holcomb: 02:44

Don't just focus on what's being said. Listen for what's not. Ask yourself, am I hearing the full message? Am I observing what's left unsaid? By doing this, you'll deepen your understanding, strengthen relationships, and lead with greater clarity.

Dusty Holcomb: 03:02

Thanks for joining me on the Leadership Quotient. I hope today's quote gave you something to think about and apply in your leadership journey. If you found value in this episode, I'd love for you to share it, subscribe, or leave a review. Leadership is a journey. Keep moving forward, and I'll see you next time.