How To Get Your Man To Finally Step Up And Do The Work

Nobody likes facing their shadows.

These darker parts of ourselves are buried in a ton of shame.

Even though we get into relationships to connect, 

love, and build a home that feels safe and secure,

without the right healing work, and lack of skills developed,

relationships end up feeling like a prison.

Their emotions and moods tend to infect yours.

You feel not seen, not heard.  

Emotions take over and the entire relationship 

feels like a mine-field where you’re just avoiding your triggers.

See if you can spot the signs: 

Feeling like your partner keeps you at arm's length 

and avoids meaningful conversations or emotional intimacy, 

leaving you feeling disconnected and unimportant.

(Hello Emotional Unavailability?)

 

- The hot-and-cold dynamic 

where your partner seems attentive and affectionate one moment 

but distant and uninterested the next,

creating confusion and anxiety.

(Hello Inconsistent effort?)

You struggle to address issues because your partner shuts down, 

avoids discussions, or becomes defensive whenever problems arise, 

leaving conflicts unresolved.

(Hello fear of conflict?)

Feeling emotionally isolated in the relationship, 

even when you're physically together, 

because your partner doesn't open up or share their inner world.

(Hello chronic loneliness?)

Noticing your needs and feelings are dismissed or ignored, 

leaving you feeling unimportant, unheard, or like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
(Hello feeling undervalued?) 

Not to mention the lack of Initiative in planning, avoidance of vulnerability, 

attachment anxiety and the fear of abandonment constantly triggered, 

one sided energy between you two, leaving you 

constantly feeling uncertain about the future.

This is all the result of wounds that haven’t been addressed,

and even though it’s not your fault— 

YOU’RE NOT POWERLESS TO SHIFT THE DYNAMIC. 

That’s why, when someone—usually women or the feminine partner—

reaches out complaining about their partner’s emotional unavailability, 

reactivity, or lack of effort, 

and they’re just waiting for their partner to step up first before they’ll work on themselves, 

I cut straight to it:

You can’t force someone else to change. Period. 

Here’s the deal: If you’re sitting around waiting for them to magically wake up, 

take responsibility, and meet you halfway, you’re wasting your time. 

The longer you wait, the more you’re avoiding your part in the dynamic.

It’s like wanting to get fit but refusing to go to the gym 

because your partner isn’t sweating enough. 

Make it make sense. In a perfect world they will WANT to get healthy…

but to get healthy and change— one needs to be INSPIRED.

And think about the best way to inspire them.

This isn’t about who’s more at fault. 

It’s about taking ownership of your own growth, and becoming Trigger-Proof 

for yourself and no one else… so that, 

regardless of what they do, you’re not stuck in the same place. 

You can’t control them, but you can control you. 

So, the real question is: 

Are you willing to do the work, even if they don’t?

When someone commits to the path of being the Cyclebreaker…

When you become Trigger-Proof there’s magic on the other side:

IMAGINE THIS: 

You stop needing your partner to validate your worth. 

Their moods, words, or actions no longer control your sense of self or ruin your day.

You walk into every room knowing you don’t need to prove yourself. 

Your confidence is quiet, grounded, and undeniable—and it attracts people who see your value.

Saying “no” feels as natural as breathing. 

You’re no longer afraid of disappointing others or being seen as “difficult” 

because you prioritize your peace over their approval.

Arguments don’t escalate to chaos. 

Instead, you communicate clearly, regulate your emotions, 

and handle disagreements like a calm, rational adult. 

Fights don’t last for days—they’re resolved and forgotten.

People feel drawn to you—not because you’re trying to please them, 

but because your inner peace radiates outward. 

You’re no longer chasing anyone; they come to you.

By becoming Trigger-Proof, 

you become the kind of person who attracts—

and sustains—secure, loving relationships. 

It’s got nothing to do with “them stepping up”. 

It’s about you.

Yes.

You ARE that powerful.

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima
____________________________________________________
P.S.

This Black Friday, I’m offering something game-changing 

for those ready to stop waiting for someone else to step up 

and start taking charge of their own growth.

It’s $4,500 worth of live training, 1:1 support, and community coaching 

inside my academy—designed to help you become Trigger-Proof in your relationships

—for under $400. (I’ve never done this before)

This includes The Trigger-Proof Relationship program which is a 21

day intensive.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to work with me 

or felt like now’s the time to shift your relationship dynamic once and for all, 

this is your sign.

Reply to this email with "send me the details” 

and I’ll share everything you need to know about this exclusive Black Friday sale.

Space is limited to 20, and it’s first come, first served. 

If you’re ready to stop waiting and start shifting, jump in.

What is Trigger Proof Transmissions (Cyclebreaker Collective)?

Welcome to the TriggerProof podcast.
This is the first season of the Podcast which are audio renditions of
Facebook Live Video Transmissions done for the “TriggerProof” Facebook Community.
These were set up by request of our community members who wanted an opportunity to listen
to insights, tools, and strategies to help heal relationship dynamics, deepen intimacy,
and master the fine art of Autonomic Nervous System Regulation so that we can build resilience,
heal from the past, and become active operators of our mind, body, and life.

This first season wasn’t designed to be a podcast, so you’ll notice the audio isn’t
Professional Studio Quality (like it is on season 2 as we’ve upgraded incrementally).

These trainings are designed to introduce and deepen you to the most critical 2 skills we’ve never been taught:
1) The skill and practice of taking our triggers (Nervous System Activations) and turning them into deeper safety and self-love,
2) The skill and practice of taking conflict (that happens in any relationship) and turning them into deeper intimacy between the parties involved.

Not learning these two critical skills at this time in history costs us dearly: Physical and Mental health is on the DECLINE.
Doing this deep level of healing work can break the cycle of Intergenerational Trauma that didn’t start with you.

It didn’t start with you, but it can end with you,
#Cyclebreaker.
______________________________________________________________________
Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof

[Music] what I tell these women who are like can you help my husband I'm like no I can't there is no way this works like weight loss so what I tell them is if you had a partner who was 300 lb overweight how would you get them to lose weight would you at them would you whine at them would you nag them does that really work no you've got to inspire the person to lose the weight and if you're enabling them cuz usually there's a narcissistic codependent Dynamic where the person who says I'm fine guess guess who that is the person who says I'm not the one with the problem take a wild guess which role that you're playing when you say that correct you're the narcissist because the narcissist is always you know right and never has any problems and it's the other person's fault right so usually I'm not working with the narcissist itic one unless they' awakened and said this is time for me to do the work but that doesn't happen unless the partner the woman has enough courage confidence and gets the clarity to say enough I'm not going to tolerate this anymore so that's usually when men reach out to me and say my wife just left me I'm just blindsided by this and now we have Divorce Court proceedings now completely like Detachment trauma we now have to talk about you know the finances of splitting assets and how the impact on the children and then now what happens to your addictions to your drinking to your numbing and sedating now where she's now stepped up and said I'm not going to tolerate [Music]

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