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Get the clarity you need on the hottest topics in health and wellness with Second Opinion. Hosted by Rosemarie Beltz, this podcast brings you fresh perspectives from experts, innovators, and disruptors tackling life-changing issues. Each episode unpacks the latest research, debunks the hype, and delivers insights to help you make informed decisions. If you're ready for engaging, enlightening, and occasionally unexpected takes on health and wellness, tune in and discover your second opinion.
Billy - 00:00:04:
Welcome to Second Opinion. I'm Rosemary, and if you've ever wanted a Second Opinion on some of the trending topics in health and wellness, you're in the right place. Each episode, I sit down with experts, innovators, and even a few disruptors to bring you fresh perspectives on the issues that could change your life, from age rejuvenation and brain health to the weight loss drug revolution and how to reinvent your career. Together, we'll dig into the latest research, question what's hype and what's real, and give you the insight you need to make your own choices about health and wellness. So, if you're ready for a Second Opinion that's engaging, enlightening, and maybe even a little unexpected, let's get started. Today, we're talking money, but not just spreadsheets and savings accounts. We're diving into the midlife money mindset with financial advisor Billy Zerillo, aka The Money Talk Advisor. Billy is the creator of the Power Purpose Plan, a financial strategy designed specifically for high-performing women who want to build wealth without sacrificing their lifestyle. Boy, do I understand that. So, with a deep understanding of behavioral finance and a gift for making money talk feel human, Billy helps women to turn income into lasting wealth and finances with clarity, confidence, and purpose. So, if you've ever felt overwhelmed by your bank account, a little confused by investing, or maybe like you're falling behind or you are behind, this episode is for you. So let's get into it, Billy. Welcome to Second Opinion.
Rosemarie - 00:01:52:
Well, thank you so much. That was an amazing intro. I love that. So I'm excited to talk all things money. And yeah, I'm just really thankful to be here. So I appreciate it.
Billy - 00:02:06:
Okay. Well, full disclosure, I found you on Instagram because I was doing some of my own homework about women and money because I'm actually in the purchase of buying a place and I'm like looking for ways to... It's like once you get the real estate bug, then I'm like, oh, what else? You know, it's like, well, first I got to close on this. But I start looking and I found you by accident. And what I found, I really, really liked. Many reasons. Your more feminine approach to money really spoke to me. And I felt like it was something that I could understand. And I'm like, who is this guy? Because I thought all these people who have like all these followers who were quite fluffy behind the scene, which by the way, so I did my due diligence. I'm like, they're not even, they don't even have clients, right? So we know the internet's full of that. But you had some really, really interesting. And I just kept going, going, going. And then I emailed you from a coffee shop in Brooklyn. And so here we are. So with that, why women? Why did you decide to, and not only women, like high powered women and women in transition?
Rosemarie - 00:03:13:
Yeah, that's a really good question. And I shared a lot. I talk about my own personal story with money. And that goes to the behavioral side of the finance that I really like to do. And really, what happened was. You know, my mom and dad got divorced at a very early age for me, you know, and I ended up living with my mom, right? And seeing my mom make the, you know, trying to, you know, live off one income, support two kids, right? Make a bunch of mistakes. And so I just remember that growing up. And when I got into the financial services industry, I didn't really know who I was going to serve. I was just like, well, I want to help people, right? Like that's why we get into the industry to help people. And the moment that that I decided that I was going to help women was when I was actually sitting across the desk from a client's mother and just hearing her story and how she had been married for 40 years and she was now getting a divorce and just listening to her story and instantly within two seconds of her sharing her story. I saw my mom sitting across the table. I saw, you know, my wife sitting across the table. I saw, like, I started to see women that were in my life. That were popping up and I was like, My industry hasn't done a good enough job of serving women. And at that point, I knew I wanted to help. I wanted to make an impact. I wanted to make a change. And so that just led me down the path of behavioral finance, of understanding how people think about money. And then I was like, well, now I'm a different advisor. I want to do things differently than. What the status quo has been for the last, you know, God knows how many years, right? How long the status quo has been there.
Billy - 00:05:16:
Yeah. Wow. Well, I appreciate your transparency. That's a great story. And it actually now, it will coincide with some of the data that I found. So I have numbers all over the place here, but I'm going to try to do my best to read them. So according to a 2022 TIAA Institute Financial Literacy Survey, They found that women... Women answered, on average, 45% of personal finance questions correctly, whereas men, on average, answered an average of 55% correctly as pertaining to their personal finances. And so it really shows the financial gap. Not only was this even just gender, but it was also education. So it didn't matter how much money the women made. It didn't matter how much education they had. There was still a pretty wide gap. And I thought, well, that was interesting to see that number. Yeah. So I thought that was interesting. And then I was looking at another set of data, which kind of coincided was that overall men are 25% higher in literacy as compared to women. And that women actually crave, now older women are actually craving to learn more about money. So when you talked a little bit about how you got into fine, you know, actually ended up down this career path. So with that being said, why do you think that the financial industry, you talk about it being confusing, especially for women. What do you mean by that?
Rosemarie - 00:07:09:
Yeah, you just get, you know, the reason I talk about that is because for so long, like women and men get two different messages when it comes to finance. You know, if you look at magazines, for instance, like you look at the difference in a magazine that is geared towards a female audience versus a male audience. And, you know, in that female magazine, you might not see anything about investing. You'll see things about budgeting. You'll see things about how to, you know, what are the top 10 Christmas gifts to get your kids and how to save money. Right. It's stuff like that. It has rarely ever been information about. You know, how to invest your money, how to get into real estate, how to grow your wealth, you know, not just by working. Like, so when I started to, and it doesn't surprise me, the stats, when you tell me that, because you look at the information that is being provided, it's not, it's not apples to apples, it's apples to oranges. And, and so that's why I'm so passionate about the educational piece. When I'm talking to my clients. And it's like you said, like. We are taught how to make money, right, like from a job aspect, but we're not really taught how to grow it. Right. And so I noticed that was a big gap and I wanted to step in and help there.
Billy - 00:08:34:
Yeah. Well, and I also read, and I want to love to get your thoughts on this too, is that, okay, so we start off, and I'm not going to get into the whole pay thing, but we do make less, right? That's statistically known for 80 cents as compared to a male, which is to a dollar. So we're starting off less investing, right? So we're making less. We take time. Women are more caregivers, right? And so we tend to take gaps in our careers. And then we're living longer. So not only that, we live longer. So we're like, whoa. So it's like, okay. So I found that interesting. And I thought, oh my God, I never even thought of that as a healthcare professional. We live longer. I talk about this all the time. And I never even connected the two with money. Like I need to like, you know, so I thought, well, that was interesting. Yeah, I just thought that that was an interesting tidbit that I add. Any thoughts on that? That you have to...
Rosemarie - 00:09:29:
Yeah, I mean, it is. It is like the whole dynamic of like women living longer is a true statement. And being more intentional with your money, even with all those things that you talked about, like the pay gap, right? The, you know, not investing versus saving, right? Women tend to be more savers than investors. And there's definitely some reasons behind that. But it all for me comes down to like how intentional are you with the money that you are currently making? Because you could make a million dollars a year and have nothing to show for it. Or you could make, you know, 50, 60,000, you know, $70,000 a year and be a millionaire, right? There's a great book called The Millionaire Next Door that talks about that. That talks about how a lot of the millionaires in this country don't actually, you know, don't need to make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, right? It's all about how intentional you are with the money that you have and how you use it.
Billy - 00:10:32:
All right. So what I also found interesting, Bill, is that in one of your social media posts, you talked about money should provide options and not be a source of stress, right? So it's like, it's funny. You talked about the magazines where it's like all these beautiful things, right? No talk of money, all these beautiful things. And then you say, you know, money should be a sort of almost like a respite, not stress. So I don't know. Can you talk a little bit about that post and where that post, the inspiration came for that?
Rosemarie - 00:11:09:
Yeah, the inspiration actually came from my wife. It's funny enough. But we were sitting there talking, and we were just talking a lot about... The mindset around money, the feeling around money. And because we have, her and I, we have our own conversations at least once a week where we talk about these things, right? Because we want to be in tune. And so, you know, when you think about money, usually most people's initial reaction is some type of negative reaction, right? Like, oh, I don't have enough money. You know, I don't have the things that I want to go spend on. And so it's all about like flipping that energy, right? And saying, instead of talking about what you don't have, talking about what you do have. And really, like, I think people, you know, we're bombarded. I don't even know how many times, I can't remember what the stat was, right? But like, we're bombarded on social media, TV, constantly with what we should be, what we should have with our money, what we should be doing. And we never stop to ask the question, what is important to me when it comes to my money? What is it that I want to accomplish. We're so focused on keeping up with the Joneses, right? Like keeping up with our next door neighbor or buying that new car or this or that. And we, so we're always chasing that external kind of. Validation when really the happiness around money comes from an internal validation, right? Or an internal kind of stance. That was the motivation behind that post was like, we need to stop looking externally for, you know, validation or happiness because. We might get it for a second, but that's going to be gone. And so we really need to focus on what is important with me, what is important to me with my money, my wealth, and how I'm going to use it. That's kind of the premise behind that thought of what you were talking about.
Billy - 00:13:09:
Okay, great. That was a really good point, right? Because at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what you have. I know many wealthy people who are very unhappy. It doesn't matter.
Rosemarie - 00:13:20:
Yes.
Billy - 00:13:20:
And the poorest people, right? And if you travel, you go to these, right, countries. It's like, I meet the happiest people and they don't even have walls or windows. I mean, it goes to show you. So we need to focus more on that. So talking a lot, social media seems to be a threat of this conversation. What are... Sadly, that's the world we live in. We need to embrace it. I'm trying to. So how about truths and myths? A lot of money myths that are truths, truths that people think are myths. Where are women going wrong when it comes to facts versus fiction?
Rosemarie - 00:13:57:
Yeah, the biggest one that just like gets me so annoyed. When it comes to fact versus fiction. And that's really when I'm sitting down with somebody or just talking to somebody about their money, that's what we're questioning. Is this fact or is this fiction? Is this a story that you're making up in your head or is this real, right? Is this something that we really need to address? And, you know, the fact that, um, that self-care. For oneself is looked down upon. And it's, it is, it's looked down upon maybe from a male perspective, but from a female perspective, it's really looked down upon. Like if you want to go like invest in yourself or, you know, maybe you want to go get your haircut or one of those things, right. Or get your latte, right. If I have to hear somebody on social media, talk about cutting out your lattes, right. And that's, what's going to get you wealthy. That's, that's the dumbest thing in the world. It's, you know, so it's, that is a big myth is that. You can spend money on yourself. And still build wealth. Because your self-care, whether it be physical, whether it be emotional, mental, whatever it might be, is so important into your journey to growing wealth. Whatever wealth looks like for you, and I want to make that point, is like whatever wealth looks like to you, it's so important that you're the best version of yourself as you possibly can be so that you can show up for the people that you want to show up for. So, yeah, so like there's a ton of myths and facts out there, but the big one that I see is, you know, and it goes back to this magazine, right? It goes back to the 10 ways how to cut stuff out of your budget, couponing or whatever. No, it's like you can spend money. And still grow wealth, you just need to be intentional with how you spend your money, right?
Billy - 00:15:58:
So that was a really good point. Because I think if we're not happy, like you can have one small indulgence per day and it's not going to set you over. Because honestly, that could be your difference of like, I mean, a lot of us who get up early for work. I mean, that's like the difference of like, that's like my one guilty pleasure, especially when you're doing all these other things in life, right? Washing your food, washing your money. It's like, for the love of God, you can't take that coffee away from me.
Rosemarie - 00:16:27:
You still have to live.
Billy - 00:16:29:
Right. Okay. Well, I look forward to talking about how we're going to do that, but I do want to touch upon when somebody comes to you, a client, what are their biggest frustrations when women come to you? Like, where do they see? Yeah, that's it. The most frustrated when it comes to their money and saving and investing and all things finance.
Rosemarie - 00:16:49:
Yeah. The biggest thing or the biggest reason why women come to me is they feel overwhelmed. And the overwhelm comes from just being. Unorganized. Like they feel like they have everything all over the place. Like, and they, they feel like, Hey, I'm already, you know, running a successful business. I have a family, I'm doing all these things. And, and like, I just don't have the time to do this. I don't, I feel overwhelmed. And anytime I sit down to start, like start looking at things, I get overwhelmed, I get overwhelmed and I quit. And then, you know, five years goes down the road. Right. And they're like, Oh, I should have really done this five years ago. Right. And so, you know, for me, it's, or for the women that I work with, it's, it's that feeling of overwhelming. And then once we get past that, it's, it's, well, I don't feel confident enough because I don't know this well enough. Right. And I want to know more about investing. I want to know more about where to put my money. I want to understand the why behind it. And I think that's a big difference between guys and, and, or women and men is like, Women really want to know the why behind where we're putting the money. Right. And it's not just like, oh, well, this is just the investment that you're putting in. It's like, well, why do I have this account? What is this account designed to do? How is it going to impact me or how is it going to help me accomplish the things that I want to accomplish? So so the first thing is overwhelm. Right. It's definitely a feeling of overwhelm. Like. I don't know if I'm even okay. Right. How do I know that? And so, yeah, that's probably the biggest. Biggest reason that people come to me.
Billy - 00:18:34:
Okay. Well, what would say when it comes to you with that, what is your first answer to them?
Rosemarie - 00:18:41:
Well, when it comes to the overwhelm, it's really about getting them organized first and foremost. And so getting them, getting them. You know, taking all their stuff and basically putting on a one page, I call it a one page financial plan and being able to see their entire financial life in one place so that we can then begin to be like, okay, well, this is where we can improve on. Maybe this is something that we can adjust because when you, when you feel like you're scattered. Can't get a good grasp of what the direction you need to go into.
Billy - 00:19:18:
Right. And just get organized, be a little kind, like, okay, it might take a minute, but just step by step, you get closer. You know, just get, okay. So just, just get organized, be patient. And, but it's true. As soon as you start taking action, things always do seem a little bit, it seems a little bit more attainable. Okay, so we're organizing. And so now you're organizing to try to combat that overwhelm. What does your idea of financial freedom look like? Is it... I mean, there's so many mixed, like, is it an amount? Is it a feeling? What is that? Like, how would you define financial freedom?
Rosemarie - 00:20:06:
I think for, you know, obviously. That's one of the things we help our clients to define. What does wealth look like to you? What does financial freedom look like to you? I think we all have. Somewhat different answers, but they all fall back to the same theme, and that is... Having the freedom to use your time in the way that you want to. Because time is the only resource that we don't get more of. And being able to have our... Our money in a way that frees up our time so that we can spend it with the people that we love. We can do the things that we've always wanted to do. That's what I would consider. You know, financial freedom at that point, being able to. Walk away from the things that are holding you back from that. And so, like I said, everybody's number might be different. You know, because it really depends on what their goals are, what their, what gets them up in the morning. And, you know, so I would, I would say it was that, that would be the best way to describe financial freedom in my mind. But again, it all circles back to what's really important to that person.
Billy - 00:21:30:
Yeah. No, I find myself now at work or when I want to buy something, I'm like, well, how much overtime do I have to do? I'm like, is this really worth one more night in the OR? I'm like, nah. I'm at that point now. I'm like, no. But if I want to take a trip or something, I'm very motivated when I want to take a vacation. But now I'm like, no, there's nothing that wants me here one more night. Nothing. Unless I've got a nice trip planned or time with my family. But other than that, it's like a high bar anymore. It's like, what am I willing to sacrifice my time for? I say time's the currency of life. I need to put that on a t-shirt. But anyway.
Rosemarie - 00:22:11:
Yeah. I would love that.
Billy - 00:22:13:
I know. I keep saying this. I'm like, better take my idea. But I'm like, time is the currency, or money is the currency of life, or time is the currency of life. But okay. So you talk a lot about asking yourself questions. So say what and your values. Would you say, is that the number one question? Would you say what you ask yourself when it comes to your finances is your time and your values? And then we can move on from there.
Rosemarie - 00:22:39:
Yeah, so the question is, what's an important question? Yeah, I would say that was probably, is that what you're asking?
Billy - 00:22:48:
Yeah, so just to be clear for people, like that would say the number one question is your value system when it comes to your money.
Rosemarie - 00:22:56:
Yeah, I would. Yeah. The number one question. Yeah. Is, is definitely how does my money align with my values? Um... Because... Early on when we're younger, we don't, we're not thinking about those things, right? We're just spending money, we're living life. But as we get older, those become even more important because we're approaching, you know, maybe that time that we're about to retire or we're getting close. And so we really need, I always go back to this word about being intentional, right? And it's, it's about being intentional with the money that you have and how do those align with your values? Because when times get tough, when maybe, you know, you're sitting in the OR and you're like, I don't want to be working this extra shift. I don't want to be over here, right? Doing this. But I know the reason I'm doing it is because I, these are my values, right? I want to be able to experience those freely. And I can't do that without being intentional with my money.
Billy - 00:24:01:
Okay. And then just again, just to talk about some gender differences, what are some of the habits and say behaviors of working with women? Say, are you picking up between men and women and how do you address that in your coaching when it comes to saving and investing? And maybe something that we might be surprised by.
Rosemarie - 00:24:24:
Yeah. So like I think I said before, the biggest difference that I see is that women tend to be on the saving side versus the investing side. And the number one reason that that is prevalent, is because There's a myth out there that women are risk adverse, right? That they don't want to invest their money because they're afraid of losing it or they're just or maybe they don't understand. You know, what... What they're invested in and that, that can definitely play a factor. But like when, you know, I like to use stories. So like sitting down with a client, I was talking to her, you know, and she was like, I have all this money sitting at the bank. Right. But I like, I don't want to invest it because I'm afraid I don't want to be too risky. And it's like, okay, well, you know, one of the first things I like to do is define what risk means to you, right? Because risk to you could mean something completely different to me. And right. And just sitting there talking with her, she's like, well, you know, I see all this stuff on social media that I should be in like cryptocurrencies and this and that. And I'm like, yeah, that's super risky. We're not going to do that. Right. Like, like that's, you know, that, that is like the top level of risk, right? Like if you were on the top rung of the ladder, like standing at the very top, that would be the equivalent of where you're at in your investments. Right. But you don't have to take on that much risk. And then also there's different accounts that you have set up that we talk with our clients through. We look at in this way of buckets of money, right? Like each account's a different bucket of money that we have. And there's smaller ones, there's bigger ones, right? But they all play their own role. And with those buckets, you have different risk profiles inside of those buckets because maybe it's an emergency fund. You're not going to risk that because you need that money just in case something bad happens, right? But your retirement accounts, you can take on a little bit more risk because... Generally speaking, that's a long term horizon as far as time frame goes. So it's really explaining what risk is and seeing what their definition is and seeing if those two line up. And then we can have a discussion around what risk means to you.
Billy - 00:26:45:
Okay. Well, I feel like that's a good segue into the whole topic of perfectionism that I know you've mentioned somewhat in your post. Well, I don't like to put people in groups, but let's just say more times than not, men will act, then ask questions. Women ask a lot of questions before they act, right? They want the big picture where I just feel like that, even in health, like I just notice different patterns, right? So where does that hold women back? Where is it? Okay, we all want to do the best we can. Where does it serve women? But where does them then become an obstacle for them?
Rosemarie - 00:27:26:
Yeah, that's a really good question. And a lot of that I find comes from, you know, in a lot of my content, too. I talk about people's money story and how what they experienced growing up and what was your first experience like with money. And that plays a huge role into that perfectionism idea, especially for women. I see it a lot. And so, like you said, where could. Help you is that Women tend, like you said, like tend to ask a lot of questions before making a decision, but they're making an informed decision. Right. And that they feel more confident in their decision and they're going to stick with their decision a lot longer. Whereas a male, hey, that looks good. I'm going to go do that right now and we'll see how it turns out. And then they end up backpedaling or having to change on the fly. And in the world of money, you know, making a bunch of changes. All in a short period of time, usually doesn't spell very good results, right? You get a lot of mixed results. And that's how I actually, I love to bring up this stat, right? Fidelity actually did a study on all their accounts. I believe they have like over like 5 million different accounts, you know, and they found that out of those accounts, women were actually better investors than men were, right? They outperformed men by like a half a percent, which doesn't sound like a lot. You know, if I say, oh, I only beat you by a half a percent, but in the world of compound interest, that is a big, big margin over, you know, if you take, if you were to pull that out over a 10, 15, 20 year time span, that half a percent could be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. And so the reason for that is because, like you said, asking, they ask a lot of questions, they want to know, they want that information so that they can feel confident. In their choice, but then also feel confident. If stuff happens down the road, like the market takes a turn, right? We understand why we're doing this, what the reason is behind it. Now, where it could hinder somebody is, you know, sometimes you can get analysis paralysis, right? And not end up making a decision because you're so overwhelmed. And a lot of women that I talked to that are trying to do it on their own, right? That they get that way because there's just so much information out there that they get overwhelmed, they don't know what they want, and then all of a sudden they don't make a decision. And that's just as bad as making a bad decision, not making any decision. So, yeah, but I kind of tied in an interesting stat there. Hopefully that helped a little bit.
Billy - 00:30:14:
No, I thought that was interesting, especially when I just read at the very beginning that women are, you know, 25% less in tune with their personal finances. So it's nice to know we're doing something. Nice to know. It's like, well, but there you go. There's women's intuition for you. We ask questions and if it doesn't feel like, I'm like, I'm out. It doesn't matter what the market says. It's like, it doesn't feel good. I'm going to, I'm now finally at the age where I listen to myself. It took many years, but now I'm finally like, no, you know, don't go against yourself. It took a long time, Billy, but I finally am. I'm getting there.
Rosemarie - 00:30:56:
You got that. That's all that matters. That's all that matters.
Billy - 00:30:58:
Forget the past. We're moving on. We're moving on. All right. Well, and I also, okay. So a lot of my friends, men and women, but more women when it comes to this, shame, whether it's, they're in these situations where they're carrying a lot of debt. You're in these social situations where maybe you're, especially, I think, I mean, we all go through this. Shame is universal, right? It doesn't matter how much, but say, you know, you're carrying this around. Nobody knows. Whether it's your spouse, your partner, your family, your friends. How do you tackle that? I think shame and guilt, they're similar, but not. There's generational guilt. There's, but I think money's shame. I'd really like to talk about that because I know people that hide things and then it blows up. And then it's like, well, you should have told me, but their intentions were good. Let's go there because I feel like that's a big topic.
Rosemarie - 00:31:52:
Yeah. Yeah. I have a rule in my first meeting that I tell clients, I'm like, listen, there's no shame. There's no blame here. There's just facts and there's how you feel about your money. And that's what we're going to focus in on because ultimately we cannot change the past, right? We can only affect the future. And I think, you know, when it comes to that, that shame, that blame that we have, that we put, because I've been there, right? I've had, lots of student loan debt, credit card debt, right? And I look at my own relationship, right? And it was hard to talk about money. I would freak out talking about money with my wife, whereas she grew up in a household that talked about money, right? And so the more we bring up, the more that we expose or bring awareness to how we think about money. We start to kind of, in a small way, detach the emotions away from our money, right? And we look at money as just a number, just a tool, rather than a direct representation of us. And we look at money of what money can do for us, not how it defines us. So that's why we spend so much time talking about the behavioral side of money because, the number side, the factual side, what you need to do with your money is very easy to understand, but it's always the emotional side of money that ruins it, right? That gets in the way. And so, you know, it's like, but once we, I think people too, like when they look at their money situation, they're like, I don't know what to do. I just know these numbers don't look good and they make me feel like crap and they don't have a plan to address those numbers. So it just keeps compounding over time. And you're like, oh, like every time I open up my bank account, I'm just afraid to see, you know, the number, right? Like, I think we've all been there. You open up your app and you're like, do I look at this or should I not look at this? And so it's really learning to have those conversations around money because it's, you know, that's, that's, it's the talk we, we do. It's the talk we never had as kids, right? We didn't talk about money. We were, we were taught to fear it. And so that plays into that role of feeling shameful about our money. And it shouldn't be, it should be empowering. It should be, you know, what am I going to do with this money? What am I going to do to improve my situation? I think when we flip it towards that, rather than being like, oh, like. Woe is me, this is my situation. It's like, okay, this is your situation. What are we going to do differently? How are we going to address that? And then having a person that's going to be in your back corner helping you do those things.
Billy - 00:34:49:
Okay. So it's like the facts. And then there's the story that we create around the facts. Instead of saying, I spent all this money, maybe it's like, well, I value experience and education. So all my time and money went to schooling, which is an investment. And that gets to a lot of education and life, things that we talked about, whether it's divorce or transitions. And now say you're midlife and you're starting from scratch, 40s, 50s. Gosh, I know people in their 60s. I know a woman in her 70s that her husband passed and her financial situation is not what she thought it was. So she's dealing with something as well. How is it, is it really ever too late? Like if someone comes to you in midlife, like, is it too late? Where to start? How about some advice for the, like, you know, those women that you were talking about?
Rosemarie - 00:35:45:
Yeah, I don't think it's ever too late to have a conversation around your money. You know, obviously, as the older that we get, the more that situation becomes that we really need to address things. But it's really about defining what you want your life to look like in those realms. But to go back to the question, like, is it too late to start? And it's like, no, it's never too late to start. I always believe that as long as you have breath in your lungs, you have a chance, right? You have a chance to accomplish the things that you want to. It's just you might have to do some things that maybe make you feel uncomfortable in the sense of like. Having to sacrifice some short-term sacrifices to have some long-term success. And I think it's just about putting the pieces of the puzzle together because when a lot of people will look at that situation. And be like, oh, like, again, going back to being overwhelmed, not knowing where everything is at. Never having those conversations with your spouse. And then all of a sudden that's gone. And all of a sudden you're like, what do I do? I think it's important that you at least have that conversation with somebody to get a lay of the land, to see how financially healthy you are and to see what you can do. But no. You're never out of the woods, right? In the sense of like, you're never... There's always an opportunity for improvement, but it just depends on obviously what you want your ultimate goal to be. And maybe bringing those goals or whatever back down to earth and saying, okay, is this something I'm going to be really able to accomplish? But no, you should never put that conversation off no matter what your financial situation is.
Billy - 00:37:37:
Okay. And you talk about financial health as being the ultimate form of self-care. So we're in 2025, we're in the middle of tax, or amongst, we're in tax season. So if somebody wanted to improve their financial health right now, what would be one step that they could take, say, if they're feeling overwhelmed? What would be the first thing that you would say? Is it organizing? Would it be organizing? Or what would say like, what's the one thing they could do today to feel a little less overwhelmed?
Rosemarie - 00:38:12:
Yeah, the one thing that I would tell somebody if they were starting today and they didn't want to feel so overwhelmed. With their finances. Is to answer one simple question. And it has nothing to do with numbers. And I know this sounds counterintuitive, but it's really understanding who you are and what you want with your wealth. I think we don't have a clear picture of that or we don't really understand that. And so when we look at those numbers, we get frantic, we get overwhelmed. We're like, I don't know if I'm on track. I don't even know if I'm saving money. I don't even know if I have a 401k. And all those things start to run through your mind and you get overwhelmed. And so having a clear destination of what you want to do with your money or where you want to be in the next couple of years, I think that's the starting point for anybody. It's understanding where do I want to be in the next... A year from now? Where do I want to be three years from now? Where do I want to be five, 10, 15 years from now? I think starting there and getting clear on who you are and what you want with your money, what your values are, that's the starting point. Then you can begin to look at the bank accounts, the balances, the debt, where your income is going. You... You have a little bit better opportunity to understand those numbers and feel less frantic about it.
Billy - 00:39:43:
Okay. So say if somebody, they're doing all this on their own, at what point? Should or is best to pull in a financial advisor into the picture? And what are some of the questions that they can ask or, you know, which some of the questions that you advise them asking when looking for a financial advisor?
Rosemarie - 00:40:05:
Yeah, I love that. So when should you hire a financial advisor or sit down with somebody? I think first of all, you should, if you are in the process of talking to a financial advisor, do not just talk to one. Really interview. Take some time, get some recommendations from other people. Interview. Just like you would be. Interviewing somebody for a job, right? You want to connect with that person because ideally, you do not want to have to switch multiple times to different advisors, right? And have to tell your story again, have to build that relationship again. So it's really important that you interview as many as you can. I would say today, right? I would start that process today because... It's a lot easier to go through this journey when you have a guide. And there are people that can do it on their own. And there's plenty of examples of that. But for the vast majority of people, it's hard to dig into those things by yourself. Whether it be the mental side of money or the actual factual number side of money. Those two things by yourself. You already got a lot on your plate, especially women. You have a lot on your plate already. You're doing everything. And so to take that on, it doesn't usually end up well. You end up putting that to the side and forgetting about it. So talk to somebody today, tomorrow, this weekend, whatever it might be, but do it sooner than later. You'll thank yourself. And then if I were to give a couple of questions, you need to ask your advisor, right? The number one is, how do you get paid as an advisor? Understand how your advisor makes money because they're in a business, right? They got to pay bills and all that stuff too, right? So understand how they get paid and just, you know, ask questions about that. And, you know, ask if your advisor is a... A fiduciary, right? That's really important, right? To have a person that's required by law to act in your best interest at all times. That's really important, right? Because they're required. To act in your best interest and not just sell your products, right? There are some advisors out there, right, that aren't fiduciaries that do that. And so, but it's important that you understand that. Understanding how they work, right? Like, how long have they been in the industry? What's their philosophy on advising clients? Those are some big questions that I would tell people that you need to, you know, ask. And then also look up reviews, right? We live in a world full of reviews, right? We review everything. So look them up on social media, like you just did, right? Like, go look at their social media, see if they have a social media presence, look at their videos, look at how they talk, right? And stuff like that and interact with other people. And so. Like I said, hopefully that's going to be a long relationship for you. So you want to... I don't know, you wanna like the person, right? You wanna have a good time with that person. So, yeah.
Billy - 00:43:15:
I know a lot of people are leery to recommend apps or things like that, but are there any tools right off the bat where you're like, hey, this is a great application or... Something that you wouldn't mind sharing or maybe something that you should avoid. Like a big no, like don't do this.
Rosemarie - 00:43:34:
Yeah. A big no in the financial world for me is if you hear anyone that says like, this is the only way to build wealth, right? Do this one thing and you'll build wealth. You need to run for the hills because they're trying to sell you something. Right. It's that that is the biggest pet peeve of mine when it comes to the industry is they're like, hey, this is the one thing. If you just do this one thing, if you buy this one product, you're going to be financially set. Or this is what the wealthy do with their money. It's like. No, that's not what they do.
Billy - 00:44:13:
Right. Yeah, I love that. It's like you see somebody online and they're talking about all these things and it's like, click below for the link to my program. And you're like, really? So I feel like, well, if I'm broke, why can I afford this? Like, I don't even know what I'm getting. I feel like it's an endless cycle that people get into seeking help. And I feel like, you're saying like, avoid those things. Because you see a lot of that, like by this program, this step-by-step. That might not be the way to go then. Because people who are trying to do things on their own, right, they're like, well, maybe this in the long run will save me money, but maybe it won't. It's just a big waste of money.
Rosemarie - 00:44:52:
Okay. Yeah, for the vast majority of wealth building, it's very... Not sexy. It's not this glamorous thing. Most people that have built significant wealth, if you really talk to them, whatever vehicle they use, whether it's real estate, whether it's stock market, whether it's... Buying and selling businesses or starting their own business. There are very fundamental things that you do with your money that have been proven over time to be the most successful. Right. And when you get in. Get into these situations where you're trying to cut corners and you're trying to be fast or you're trying to do it quicker. That usually... You usually don't get the results that you were wanting.
Billy - 00:45:35:
Right. So would you say it's safe to say, I know we're talking a lot about midlife, women in transition, but also for people out there who have young children, it's never too late to introduce the concept of saving, earning as well, right? So I feel like, yeah. I mean, is it safe to say that, start breaking chores or how to earn money? Because I know we've been talking a lot about midlife, but what if people are trying to get themselves out of a situation, but they also want to instill better habits into their children? Like, I don't want you to end up in this situation.
Rosemarie - 00:46:09:
Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's giving them, you know, um, the basics, right. And it's, it's, it's, it's understanding the value of money. And I think that comes from working, right. Um, I know the nine to five gets a lot of, uh, you know, on social media, it's a lot of, you know, crap, right. Basically. Oh, if you work a nine to five, you're, you're, you know, that's a bad thing. And it's like, no, it's like, it does teach you a lot of things about life, right? And it teaches you how to earn it. It teaches you, you know, the importance of it and why you should have it. But you know, talking to your kids about money too is super important. And not just like... Just leaving it up to interpretation or leaving it to social media to teach your kids about money. You know, that should be an active conversation around.
Billy - 00:47:01:
Around that. Right. So I feel like that kind of brings us back around to shame. Maybe if you are having, as a family, people should have these discussions that everybody kind of knows what's going on. Because I think there's a, I know there's like a very old school way, whether I'm Gen X, but like your parents think they're protecting you if they're not telling you things. But in reality, everybody should be aware of what's going on.
Rosemarie - 00:47:26:
Yeah. Yeah. You don't need to. I don't I don't I don't need to know, you know, the nitty gritty details, but like the general, you know, like how you know why we're spending money over here or like, hey, we're saving into this account for your education or just having those high level conversations around like. No, because often, you know, I know with parents and stuff like that, it can it can be hard with that conversation of telling your kid. No. Right. Hey, we would. We're not going to spend money on that. We say, oh, we can't afford this. Right. That puts a negative connotation to that kid. So like explaining the reason why. Right. And getting into that conversation. The sooner you can do that, the better. But yeah, like you said, chores, all that stuff. I'd be having as much conversations around money as I humanly could possible with when it's talking to kids. So.
Billy - 00:48:17:
Okay, so I'm now going to narrow it down a little bit, say a daughter or the women in your life. What is the one message that you hone in with them when it comes to money? I know as a health person, I'm always driving the health angle of things. Don't do that. That's not a good idea. But you, as working in the financial industry, what would you say to the women out there? Or what would you say to your wife if you had a daughter, if you have a daughter? What's the one message that you want to get across?
Rosemarie - 00:48:45:
Mm. I would say... Focus on what's in- It's a reoccurring theme. It's focus on what's important to you and not what society tells you is important, because I think, you know, especially for women, there's so much societal pressure. On women, whether it's a family dynamic, whether it's a career dynamic or... Making money. There's all these different rules and unspoken rules about those types of things. Don't be afraid to lean into what's important to you, but also don't be afraid to make mistakes because that's where you're going to learn. If I was sitting across from my daughter, I would say, don't be afraid to make mistakes. Nothing in life is perfect. You won't be perfect. I won't be perfect, but I'd much rather you make mistakes and learn rather than make no decision and stay where you're at. If I had to give, like I said, two pieces of advice to people or to women in that sense is take time to figure out what's important to you. Don't listen to what society tells you is what's right and what's wrong and focus on... Focus on just taking action. Don't worry about the mistakes. Don't worry about the results. You'll learn and you'll improve those results over time, but just focus on those things.
Billy - 00:50:20:
Yeah. I saw a meme before we wrap up here. I saw something I thought was really interesting because I think there's a lot of connotation like when women have good jobs or they do well in the financial world, they're like this very masculine energy that seems like unappealing. And then I saw a woman and I took a screenshot of her. I got to go find her, but she made a really good point. She said, it's very feminine when a woman has money because women move differently when they have money. They are confident. They don't make choices out of desperation. They have options. And I thought that that was like a nice little, I thought, wow, because I know a lot of my girlfriends who say they're in relationships, they might make more than their partner. And it could be a little feeling off balance, but that's a whole other topic of conversation. But there's a lot of women now that you have the flip side where it's like, they do make more. And then there's their shame and guilted if they then do make more. So it's sometimes you can't win. So I thought that that was interesting where a woman with money, it doesn't necessarily have to be this hard, abrasive. Like I think people have this, women have even like very New York like you know, wretched just like no soul, you know, like you can be feminine and empowered because then you have options. I feel like that's actually a beautiful way to look at it. Like, no and women usually do good things. So if more women had money, there'd be a lot more. I'm not going to generalize. I just say there's a lot of care taking. I feel like, if more women had money or empower.
Rosemarie - 00:52:00:
Yeah, well-
Billy - 00:52:00:
I just feel like there's a lot of good that there's a lot of empowering messages behind when women have money that I think sometimes, I think that I know that's changing, but I still feel like it's there. Like it's a negative masculine thing. If women have money, it's like negative sometimes.
Rosemarie - 00:52:15:
Yeah. Yeah. I agree. That, that is another, you know, it's like, it's like, well, it's like the stereotype when, when working out, right. If, if a woman works out too much, right. She's going to get too muscular and that's a bad thing. It's like, no, it's like, you know, it, like you said, it's, it's, it's about the confidence. It's, it's just, they can show up who the, as who they want to be. And it all comes back to, like you said, like, oh, well women, you know, do a little bit more with their money in the sense, like, well, they're just more intentional. Right. And their intentions are often helping other people. Right. And when they have money, they can help a lot more people. Right. And so not only help themselves, but help others. And so interesting dynamic. I just want to bring this up before we wrap up, but for a long time, my wife made more money than I did. Right. And you know, she's got her doctorate in nurse education. She's a nursing instructor. So medical field right there. So, so. But I never saw it as like a, a direct outlook on me because I saw it as. It's not me versus her. It's a we, right? It's we as a team, right? It's our money. It's our dreams. It's our goals. And so there'll be times like that. There'll be times when one partner's up, the other partner's down. You're both are even, right? It'll be all over the place, but it should never be about me versus you. It's about how do we figure out life together? How do we, two heads are better than one, right? Let's figure this out together.
Billy - 00:53:46:
Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for that last thought. I think that's a great way to end the conversation. And with that, that is a wrap for today's episode of Second Opinion. A big thanks to Billy Zerillo for giving us a fresh and empowering look at what it means to take control of our money without shame, confusion, or perfectionism. Hopefully, and if this episode gave you a new perspective on money, don't forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. It helps others find the show. And if you have a topic you'd love for us to explore, drop us a note. We're always looking for new ideas. I'm Rosemary Beltz. Until next time, take care of yourself, get some rest, and remember, always get a Second Opinion.