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Faith and masculinity meet kingdom living to help Christian husbands rebuild their confidence and masculine strength, so they can enjoy attraction-filled and passionate marriages.
You want to live a life on fire and on mission.
You want to be filled with such conviction and drive that you stop caring about what ANYone thinks.
You want to face each day alive, authentic, and fully present in every moment: with your wife, kids, on the street, at the gym, at work.
You want to bring yourSELF to the table, and to stop bringing the watered-down, nice, what everyone wants version of you.
You want that self to be a man who is burning in passion for Jesus, unafraid to bring his kingdom to anyone in your path, no matter the cost.
You want to love the one in front of you without fear, without needing love back, and without reserve.
You want to experience God for real, to not just believe, but to KNOW that he’s got you and that he’ll show up on your behalf. That he’ll show up THROUGH you.
You want to get to the end of your race and say, “Yep…I gave it everything. Jesus, you know I’m all in.”
...And you want to know just how to get there.
Welcome to Man Warrior King. Congratulations. You are among the violent taking the kingdom by force. You are among the chosen, answering the call to rise above your self. You are in the forge being stripped down and strengthened—and you WILL rise stronger, solid, unshakeable.
You are a man. You are a warrior. You are a king.
Matt Hallock (00:01)
Good morning and welcome to another episode of the Man Warrior King podcast. I'm your host, Matt Halleck. And today I have the honor of having Chris Meiser as a return guest on the show. We had him on a little bit ago and we were just kind of hearing his story, hearing his, his journey of transformation and the things that God's been doing in his life.
over well over the whole course of his life, but also the last couple of years and where he's headed now. And we're actually going to be doing a whole series of shows over the next several months in in some different from different angles, different settings as well. And so you're going to get used to it. But today we are talking about a certain topic in particular, this this idea of a good Samaritan
husband and Chris has been, just working with this, with this concept for a little while and it intrigued me. right now, by the way, for everybody out there listening, I'm in the middle of getting ready for a, for a free webinar coming up called frustrated to desired, which is all four husbands who are so tired of feeling frustrated in their marriages and wanting to know how do I go through
the process needed, the transformation needed so I can stop being frustrated at how my wife is drifting away from me and I can start knowing that I'm desired by her instead. So with that webinar coming up next week and everything that I'm working on for that, I thought this would be a fantastic topic that goes right in line with everything that you may already be aware of that's coming down the pike for Man Warrior King.
Without further ado, Chris, tell us what is this Good Samaritan husband idea? Where does it come from? All of that.
Christopher Miser (02:03)
Well, thanks again, Matt. Yeah. Thank you for inviting me back. I'm excited about some of these episodes coming up that we're going to do together. I'm excited about it. Well, it kind of... We talked last time about that business that I'm working on. And one of the things that's just been really, I guess, present in my mind all the time is just how much leadership
Matt Hallock (02:04)
Yeah.
Me too.
Christopher Miser (02:32)
how much we can learn about leadership from the Bible and from what God teaches us. It's really the entire thing is leadership. think we talked about that last time. And so you're a leader in your household. And so if you read through the Bible, there are a lot of historical events, things that Jesus said, parables that he told.
Matt Hallock (02:43)
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (03:01)
that when you read them, there's so much more to it than just, there's so much to it. There's so much to what God says that when you, can look at it from different lens as a father, as a husband, you can, and there are messages to us throughout about leading in those situations. There's messages about leading at your work or at church.
or in your family. So the Good Samaritan, the reason it's been kind of present in my mind recently is I recently read it and then I actually got a book from Grace to You, which is a book by John MacArthur that is on the Good Samaritan, which was really a cool thing to read and they'll send it to you for free. So if you request it,
Grace to you will send you that book for free, which is really, really cool. But I just started looking at it from the perspective of leadership. And I want to develop a course on that for the business that I'm working on. So that's where it started. And so do you want to just launch right into the Good Samaritan or?
Matt Hallock (04:05)
And it's cool.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah. So what is, what I think a lot of the listeners are familiar with that parable with the general gist of it. Maybe, maybe some of the details are hazy, like the order that the people come in and who exactly they were and stuff. But I a lot of them understand, yeah, the good Samaritan was the guy who stopped and, you know, helped the beaten up dude on the side of the road. Right. But, but what, yeah, jump into it.
with the part like with what's relevant to what you've been really seeing about this, this husband aspect to it. So tell us, tell us whatever we need to know about the parable so we can understand what how this applies to me as a good Samaritan husband.
Christopher Miser (05:15)
Okay, perfect. So the lawyer, in that story, the lawyer is trying to trick Jesus. We know from the parable that he was being insincere. And Jesus was teaching a lesson here. So he's very, very smart with his answers, obviously, because he's God. But the lawyer asked to trick Jesus, and out of insincerity, he says, teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
And if you if you look at the parable you'll realize why what he's trying to get at and how he's trying to trick them but I think at the same time we will ask As men sometimes we ask a question What shall I do to have a healthy marriage? What do I need to do to have a healthy marriage when you ask that? Are you asking that out of sincerity or are you asking that question?
With is it loaded like well in order to have a healthy marriage I'm actually gonna need this this this this or are you actually asking out of genuine are you genuinely asking and Who are you asking? Okay, so when you ask what shall I do to have a healthy marriage then the next question or or sorry the Once you've asked that second question. The answer is actually really similar to what God
Matt Hallock (06:32)
Hmm. Yeah.
Christopher Miser (06:45)
or what Jesus said to.
the lawyer. So, because Jesus responded and said, love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul, strength, mind.
Matt Hallock (06:50)
Yeah.
Yep. Yep.
Christopher Miser (07:00)
OK.
And your neighbor as yourself. All right. Cool. So.
Matt Hallock (07:04)
Yeah. Okay.
Christopher Miser (07:08)
The answer, and I understand that it doesn't, it sounds a little counterintuitive to our sinful nature, the answer to a healthy marriage is love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul, your mind, your strength, your neighbors, yourself. So if you turn and you're walking with God and loving God, that's first.
Matt Hallock (07:18)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (07:38)
He's going to show you the Holy Spirit is going to direct you to being the husband that you're supposed to be, that God has called you to be. So when you turn and walk with God and love God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind, then that is gonna open.
Matt Hallock (07:51)
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (08:04)
If you want to look at it as a portal or whatever, the Holy Spirit is going to direct you in your life. husbands are supposed to be leaders in their households, good Christ-like leaders. So this lawyer was probably a leader or someone of stature, right?
Matt Hallock (08:09)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (08:31)
So.
A lot of times leaders or people in those positions, want to come across as somebody awesome. They want to appear that way. They want to come across that way. They are very concerned with how they look and how they are perceived. And Jesus is
Matt Hallock (08:56)
Mm-hmm.
Christopher Miser (09:05)
Directing them he's saying you are way too concerned about yourselves. You are way too concerned about yourselves and That is the same thing when a good leader is Not their main priority is not themselves In every situation a good leader their first priority is not themselves. That's the transformational leadership that comes
Matt Hallock (09:10)
Hmm.
Yeah, yeah.
Christopher Miser (09:35)
from learning leadership through scripture, through what God says. That's the transformational leadership. And that same transformational leadership needs to take place in the house.
Matt Hallock (09:40)
Yeah
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's good. So, so the answer like, yeah, so many guys in this audience are asking themselves or asking God, how do I have a good marriage? And
Christopher Miser (09:51)
So that's kind of the I guess.
Matt Hallock (10:07)
So they ask and the answer comes back. Love, love God, love me. Right. With all your heart, with all your strength, with all your mind, all your soul, you know, all the things listed there, I could see a guy out there being like, and I can see this because I was, I was in this position. God, I do love you. I have a,
I've served you, followed you for a long time.
I feel like, I feel like the good marriage part of it is still not there. And, and so I want to, to the listeners out there who might feel like they're in that place, I want to challenge a thing, which is if you are looking to your wife and your marriage for your fulfillment and your identity and to be your main source of
happiness, then even though you might love God, you, are probably somewhat deceived into thinking that you love him with everything you've got because in reality you've made an idol out of your wife. And so the, there's in that statement from Jesus, there's, there is a clear implicit, directive to have no idols before
but like in front between you and God. And so a man can be trapped in this place of feeling, but I do love God without even realizing, but you've been looking for everything that only God is supposed to give you from your wife. And so there just, I just wanted to point that out cause that's an area that I myself was confused about years ago. I didn't realize that I, that I actually hadn't been loving God with everything I had because I had made
my wife into an idol. so that's actually like a, I don't know. I, I'm not put some of those dots to connect to some of those dots before you were just saying this just now. So I think that was, that's, that's really, that's really powerful. And in a place like that, a man doesn't really know how to lead. So you're saying this parable and so much of scripture is about leadership, but when a man,
is idolizing his wife. He's not able to lead. Like you think about the Old Testament people who come and offer offerings to the, to the bales or whatever. They can't also simultaneously lead that veil, right? That, that, that veil has like apparently supposedly has their, like the ability to either make their life a living hell or incredible. And so when you are,
approaching your wife from that same position, you can't possibly lead her. So anyway, those are just yeah.
Christopher Miser (13:18)
Well, no,
that's fantastic, Matt. Well, you don't, well, you worship God. We worship God. You don't worship your wife. You don't worship, you worship God. You love your wife with everything you've got.
Matt Hallock (13:32)
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Right. Right. Right. And, and part of that worship means I worship the one who is my source. Right. And so you end up, if your wife is your source, you end up worshiping her. And then, so we got to differentiate between that. So then you mentioned that the, that this leader, ma'am, the people like,
Christopher Miser (13:39)
but we worship God.
Hmm.
Matt Hallock (14:07)
he's putting the people that he is leading, he's putting their needs first. So how, how would you, how would you say a guy who maybe has, cause I think we have two possible errors in husbands, right? And this is probably a gross oversimplification. One possible error is, for lack of, you know, tact, I'm erring on the side of just being a jerk.
and I don't treat my wife well. I don't care about her that much. I care about the things in my life that I, what I want to do. And okay, that's, that seems like obvious. Okay. The course correction there is you you got to start like actually serving her and being thoughtful and caring for what about the guys who air on this other side where they've actually been idolizing her revolving around her. As you know, like I've talked about, like the hovering puppy dog husband,
They also, it looks like they might be putting her first, but in reality, everything they're doing for her is still selfish. It's still trying to get my my own fix from her. So how does a guy over there begin to learn how to put others first in a way that's not manipulative where I'm, where I'm
not just continuing to like completely have no worth or value or anything in the equation because I've just been revolving around her. How does he make the shift to lead? Because he could over correct into becoming a jerk, right? Like, okay, well now I have to start to back away from her a bit and invest into myself a little bit, which is good, but he could go a bit too far. So how does that guy get into this place of leadership in your mind?
Christopher Miser (16:05)
Wow, well that's a really good question. First, let's start with, because one of the things I was thinking about when you were talking was when you said a jerk. Okay, well, I mean, I can't count on my fingers or toes how many times I've been a jerk. It's been a lot, right? So we all have, we all struggle.
Matt Hallock (16:08)
Yeah
Christopher Miser (16:33)
That's the first thing that we all need to understand. We all struggle in our marriages, every single person. There's not a person out there that doesn't struggle in their marriage at some point. whatever your maybe one person's jerk, one's following around like the puppy dog that you talk about, we all struggle at that.
Matt Hallock (16:39)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (17:02)
And we just struggle in our lives because we're sinful people. and that's what Jesus is saying in this parable. The entire thing is not about...
Matt Hallock (17:06)
Mm-hmm.
Christopher Miser (17:17)
a good, just somebody helping someone on the side of the road. It is about the fact that we must have God. We must follow God. We must obey God because if we don't, there's like what, it's all for not because God created all this and what he desires, his law,
Matt Hallock (17:21)
Mm.
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (17:48)
is because he is, he is, he is the law. So we must follow him before anything else, okay? So I have to do that, you have to do that, before we can ever work on a marriage, any aspect of it, we have to walk and follow him. So, and that's the whole point of this parable, and that's what God was trying, or what Jesus was telling.
Matt Hallock (18:10)
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (18:18)
in that moment, what he was trying to teach to, I mean, all of these parables, he's teaching that first and foremost. You need God. You can't do it on your own. So there's a specific part in the Good Samaritan, and I have it here in front of me, so sorry, I do have some notes and stuff, because I want to make sure that I get stuff right.
Matt Hallock (18:21)
Hmm.
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (18:48)
So.
Matt Hallock (18:48)
Yeah, yeah.
Christopher Miser (18:54)
specifically here when he says that He saw the good Samaritan saw him but a certain Samaritan as he journeyed came where he was and when he saw him he had compassion on him, so a leader it When you're walking with God a leader in the household starts will you will start to see others you'll start to see others when you're walking with God, that's
Very very very important. Okay, you're not just seeing them with your eyes. All right in the parable. Jesus says what I just read, okay Had compassion When it's translated in the greek means that he didn't just see him translated. It means that he felt Him it's a feeling of empathy and it actually is a feeling within your bowels is what it is what the original Greek is saying
Matt Hallock (19:23)
Hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Mm-hmm.
Christopher Miser (19:52)
So the innards feel the paint, okay?
Matt Hallock (19:52)
Yeah.
Hmm. Wow.
Christopher Miser (19:59)
as if the pain had been taken upon himself. So the Good Samaritan is walking along, he sees this individual on the ground, he's been beaten up, robbed, okay, and he's laying there to die, and his innards, his body, feels the pain of that man. Just like Jesus Christ. God feels our pain, he knows what we're going through.
Matt Hallock (20:03)
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (20:28)
It's wild to think, it's really wild to think of that moment when Jesus is telling this parable and knowing that he would be soon led away and murdered on a cross for us, for the lawyer that he's telling that parable to. It's just a crazy thing to think about, he was saying that. The whole point though is that,
Matt Hallock (20:42)
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
Christopher Miser (20:56)
We aren't going to be able to see other people like we need to see them or like Christ sees them unless we're walking with God. We're just not our nature is not going to allow us to do that. It's not going to allow us to truly feel the pain. So when you when there's only one person that can help me not be a jerk, there's only one.
Matt Hallock (21:09)
you
Christopher Miser (21:22)
God that can help me not be a jerk to my wife. That is the God, the only God, the God of all gods, Big G of all little g's, the God of gods, the Lord of lords. That's the only one that's going to help me not be a jerk. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it with, you know, some like even a counselor. They might
Matt Hallock (21:33)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (21:52)
A counselor can help you through some things on how to communicate better, but at end of the day, you need God to change your heart, to transform you. Once you've transformed, you will see.
Matt Hallock (21:58)
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
Totally.
Christopher Miser (22:13)
your wife.
Matt Hallock (22:14)
Hmm. Yeah.
Christopher Miser (22:15)
That's a big takeaway
from this story, this parable.
Matt Hallock (22:19)
That's,
that's huge. Cause a lot of guys might try to put on different behaviors. You know, I know I need to act this way or treat her differently, but, that's, mean, maybe you can say that that's a valiant effort at times, but it, but it doesn't really work if you're not changed on the inside, right? Because that doesn't last all those good behaviors.
that we try to put on without interchange. They can only last for so long before we burn out, get exhausted, go back to old ways. Not to mention wives can see right through behaviors that aren't coming from an authentic place on the inside. Yeah.
Christopher Miser (22:58)
Well, it's not just wise. Yeah.
I mean, do you remember? Do you remember? Was it Promise Keepers where? So there were bumper stickers you could get that said, love my wife. Remember that? And you'd have a bumper sticker said, I love my wife. And man, those actually used to bother me a lot because I was like, OK, so because one. Nobody.
Matt Hallock (23:16)
yeah, yeah yeah.
Christopher Miser (23:28)
including God or your wife needs a bumper sticker to know that you love them. Like it's just not necessary. In fact, what do you have that bumper sticker for? Is it for you? Is it for other people? What's it for? What do you?
Matt Hallock (23:33)
Yeah.
Right. I'm pretty sure
Cory would not appreciate that kind of bumper sticker.
Christopher Miser (23:48)
Like what was
the point of that bumper sticker? What are you trying to accomplish? What are you trying to say? And it would be very kind of in line with what the lawyer and what the Pharisees wanted to, they wanted it to, they wanted a bumper sticker. They wanted to show that they do this. And Jesus is saying,
Matt Hallock (24:05)
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (24:14)
It's not about you, it's about you turning. It's about you need God. You're not gonna do it on your own.
Because once you start thinking you can do it on your own, mean...
Matt Hallock (24:28)
Yeah, right.
Christopher Miser (24:29)
Good luck,
good luck. Because I mean, I haven't figured that out. I can't do it on my own.
Matt Hallock (24:34)
Yeah,
well neither can I. I'll tell you. Yeah.
Christopher Miser (24:37)
No. Because I'll go
straight to jerk.
Matt Hallock (24:42)
I go the other direction. Yeah, yeah.
Christopher Miser (24:43)
If I'm on my own, I'm going straight to jerk.
I mean, let's just be, we gotta be honest with ourselves.
Matt Hallock (24:55)
That's funny. I mean from my perspective My natural bent is the you know, the other end of the spectrum the hovering puppy dog Mine is more embarrassing in my opinion than the jerk husband. I'm like, I don't even want to admit that that's what I do Yeah, totally totally and you know as you as we're talking
Christopher Miser (25:12)
I don't know. I think both are bad.
Matt Hallock (25:19)
I feel like I'm some stuff is coming together for me too, because you're talking about how you can't do you can't. We can't get to this. You know, let's say I'm on one side of the mountain, the hovering puppy dog. You're on the other side, the jerk face, right? And we're trying to get to the zenith. Right, but we're trying to get to this to this zenith is mountain peak of like, the where we're supposed to be.
Christopher Miser (25:37)
Yeah, that sounds terrible. Yeah.
Matt Hallock (25:47)
And it seems like whether wherever we're at loving God and him's transformation as we're talking, like what I'm realizing is because what happens when we truly do start being transformed by him and really seeking him first and foremost, he fills us up, right? He get he he begins to make me overflow on the inside because I know from my past I was at a constant
emotional deficit. And so in that place, I didn't have any kind of security or confidence or like just self-esteem, self-worth. So I had nothing to really give or to seek Corey with. that stirring, like, I love that, that I never put that connection together. I know that when in the gospels, when it talks about Jesus being moved with compassion,
I studied that that meant like, yeah, feeling it in the bowels, right? So I love it. That's it's here as well. I didn't know that, but I remember in those days I couldn't feel that because I, I was just so like empty feeling for myself. I didn't have any room for someone else to feel that way. So when I got more like in alignment with God and started connecting with him better, I began to have some emotional.
like margin, I had some space, some breathing room, some surplus, and now I could start to think about her in that way, and I could start to feel true compassion because God had filled me up to have the ability for that. And maybe it's the same as a jerk, like maybe that's also going with some emotional bankruptcy. I don't know, I haven't been there, but maybe you can speak to that more than I could. But does that seem like maybe there's something to that that.
in following God, he's filling us up, meeting our needs and giving us that surplus that now I can lead because I'm not just so obsessed about my own needs getting met.
Christopher Miser (27:53)
Yes. absolutely. In fact, Matt, that is awesome because it leads right to what I was kind of thinking that I wanted to highlight. that is so the good Samaritan then takes him and he puts them on his. think it was like a donkey, right? On his beast, it says beast in my Bible, but he puts them on there. Then he takes him into the town and he takes him to a place.
Matt Hallock (28:15)
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (28:24)
like an inn, and he says, take care of him, and whatever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay. So just do everything for him that he needs, like everything, and I will pay there, I will pay you. So he doesn't just help him on the side of the road, he puts him, like we see this all the time where there's a car accident or something, and then,
Matt Hallock (28:47)
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (28:52)
someone pulls up, I was just reading a story, just, my gosh, goodness, two days ago, a woman came up to a car accident on her way to her, I think son's wedding. And she was a nurse, she had been a nurse for 35 years. And she comes across this car accident on the way to the wedding, she jumps out, she has a kit in her car with everything she needs for first aid, she's in a beautiful dress.
She's got the gloves on, she grabs her kit, and she saved someone's life. She's a good Samaritan, okay? And in that moment, she's on her way to her son's wedding. She could have easily just, whoa, right? Right past there, okay? That's the transformational piece, is that she sees somebody, her agenda, what she has, whatever's going on,
Matt Hallock (29:27)
Wow. Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Christopher Miser (29:53)
Her specific life right there it It's secondary this Person needs help. So there was a bunch of like people were asking who was that woman in a who was that beautiful woman in a dress on the side of the road with with surgical gloves on you know to be like what a scene anyways, she Did make it to the wedding and I just a really cool story but
Matt Hallock (30:00)
Yeah.
I'm
Wow.
Christopher Miser (30:22)
That is a perfect picture.
of somebody seeing someone and feeling what they need. And so in whatever, that is a picture of what, that's a picture of.
Matt Hallock (30:31)
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (30:41)
God.
Matt Hallock (30:45)
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Christopher Miser (30:45)
So
he is the ultimate, the best leader.
Matt Hallock (30:53)
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (30:54)
of all time, so infinitely. He is the best leader. He leads us perfectly. So we have to go there. We have to go there first. And that's what this parable is teaching us. There is also, so I'm also, I'm reading a book called, well, I'd actually, finished it. It only takes you like 20 minutes. It's like $5 on Amazon. It's The Tyranny of the Urgent. I don't know if you've ever read that.
Matt Hallock (31:05)
Yeah. Yeah.
I haven't, but I've heard of it. Maybe I've just heard of the saying, I don't know, I've heard that saying a ton of times, maybe I didn't know it was a book though.
Christopher Miser (31:25)
Yeah, well,
it's all about the important things in our life that we don't get to because of something urgent that isn't important. So we fill our lives up with a lot of things that become urgent but aren't truly important. Our wife is very, very important. Okay, so if there are things that are so urgent in your life that replace her, that's a problem.
Matt Hallock (31:42)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (31:57)
And when you come up to her and you see her and she has, and she, there's something that she needs, you might be so busy and so focused on the urgent that you don't see it. And when you think of the Good Samaritan, I don't know, first of all, it's a parable. you know, let's, I understand that. in a real, let's, for example, this woman on her way to her son's wedding.
Matt Hallock (32:10)
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (32:26)
That's a really, really urgent thing she needs to get to. But the most important thing, and let's say that this parable is an actual event. That Good Samaritan has somewhere to go. He's on that road. He's going somewhere. He probably has something very important that he needs to get to, something urgent.
Matt Hallock (32:44)
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Christopher Miser (32:54)
But we have to be able to see that person's need in that moment. We have to be able to see our wife above most other things, and God will help us with that if we're walking with him.
Matt Hallock (33:05)
Yeah. What, what do you think? What kind of effect do you think it will have on a wife who's not used to feeling seen? And now all of a sudden she's being seen by her husband.
Christopher Miser (33:22)
Well, how does it feel if you're being seen?
Matt Hallock (33:26)
Good.
Christopher Miser (33:27)
We'll see it's the same thing. She. I mean, isn't that what because isn't that what Jesus says here? He says, so love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, mind and your neighbor as yourself. So it's you. You also want to be seen. We we we all want to be seen. We all want our needs to be met. And so.
Matt Hallock (33:29)
You
Yeah.
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (33:56)
That feeling you get when your needs are met, when someone shows you the love that you want to see, that's what she's asking for.
Matt Hallock (34:06)
And man, if you if you kind of think about the metaphor of the parable and this person who's beat up on the side of the road, you know, to take it going with the parable is is your wife. I mean.
Think about what that could mean is going on in her life inside of her when we as her husband, if we're not seeing her, we're allowing potentially a bit of a beating up to go on at her. as the legal in the kingdom, the legal covering over her, the husband is the head of the wife and stuff.
If we're not seeing her and leading her, she might be getting pretty thrashed in life by, by Satan coming at her when, when we're supposed to be her defender. Right.
Christopher Miser (35:09)
So, yes, you're absolutely right and it doesn't stop there. See, we're talking today about the Good Samaritan husband slash leader, but does that not apply to our children or to the church? To all of the people that are in our lives that are getting thrashed by the world, literally getting crushed every which way?
Matt Hallock (35:23)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (35:38)
And
are we looking to God as our foundation and then going out and taking care of those people as God takes care of us? Are we doing that? No. Our nature is to not do that. So without God, we are not going to do it. And that's what Jesus is saying in this parable. Without me,
Matt Hallock (35:58)
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (36:10)
This won't happen. So, we think it's about us. look, if I just, if I think nicely about people, if I'm a good person, I'll take care of someone. Yeah, you may sometimes. Yeah, you may sometimes take care of somebody, but it's not, you're not always going to, you're not always going to see them, not without God, not without God transforming your life.
Matt Hallock (36:12)
you
Yeah, yeah. because I mean, I,
to take it to a bit of an extreme. I just was thinking of this one time.
Cory and I were at a Whole Foods in California and we were just getting started into learning more about the Holy Spirit and really understanding how present he is and walking with him and stuff like that. I was sitting in the car with one of the girls and
She came out of the store and she's like, Matt, you see that guy standing outside the store over there? And I said, yeah. She said, I think you need to go pray for him. think I'm, I think I'm hearing that, that he's got a bad back. His back's hurting him. And
So I went, I was like, gee, yeah. Okay. Make the, make the guy go do the awkward thing. Right? Yeah. Sure. Okay. So I went over there and I started the conversation and, and, they spoke Spanish and so I had to dust off my Spanish and talk with them. But it turns out actually Corey was right. So she had it. She had it.
Like I said, this is an extreme example, but this is an example of what's possible. Like literally God can help you see people and know things about them that you don't know, that you wouldn't know on your own. So she had no idea that this guy was hurting. She just, she walked out of the store, she saw him and she heard God tell her, hey, he needs something. And so, so sure enough, yeah, I was, as I was talking with him, he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like my lower back. And so I prayed for his back.
right then to be healed. And I didn't know enough Spanish to be able to tell like, was it healed or not? but that's, that just came to mind as you were saying this, because we need God to help us see people and he can help us see even, even beyond what we think is possible. And even with your own family or your wife or your kids, like Lord, obviously I can see a good deal of stuff in the natural because I do life with them every day. But what
else is going on that only you can see that I have no idea. Like what does my wife need? What kind of, what does she need me to say to her? What did my kids need me to say to them? What, what is it that I can do that would incredibly bless and heal something in her? Like we can go there and ask God for this revelation and ideas and things like that. Like there's, can get fun when you start doing, thinking about it like that. But I think you're right. Like,
Even now, even after years of my own transformation having been underway, if I'm just left to myself, I still am mostly thinking about myself throughout the day. I've got to like, I've got to connect with the Lord so he can orient my heart to be towards her and towards our girls and everything and not just
on myself.
But what would you say?
So practically here and in, probably need to wrap it up here pretty in a few minutes, but practically what should a guy go do right now who wants to be able to see his wife, to be moved with compassion for her, to be an instrument of leadership and even healing for her. What does he need to go do?
Christopher Miser (40:28)
Mm-hmm.
First and foremost, turn to God. Just straight turn. Sometimes it depends on, it depends for, maybe it's not that hard of a turn or maybe it is, depends on where you are. But a hard turn to God. Get into what God says in the scriptures about being a husband.
Matt Hallock (40:53)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (41:19)
get into the scriptures just period to see what is required of you and then to be like God, a man of principle. And that is something that you talk about in DNA of a man is a man of principle. God does not lie. In fact, says, is it Deuteronomy? I'm sorry, I forget in this moment, but there's a
Matt Hallock (41:31)
Mm-hmm.
Christopher Miser (41:50)
There's a part in scripture where it says, unlike man, God does not lie. That's why there's a price for sin. It's because God said, do not do this. If you do this, this will happen. God cannot go back on that. God's not going to go back on that because God is not slack and God does not lie. So he's not going to go back on that. That's why there's a price that has to be paid. That's why he sent his son to die.
Matt Hallock (41:56)
Mm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (42:18)
for us to pay that price. So you need to be a man of principle, someone who does not tell your wife one thing and then doesn't do it. So like God, you are going to, so you got to be a man of principle and you're walking with God and you're studying what God, who God is. And then you are.
Matt Hallock (42:18)
Yep.
Yeah.
That's good.
Christopher Miser (42:44)
asking him to help you see your wife. and once I, I, I can't encourage everyone, all of us, we need to be encouraged together to walk boldly with, with God and, and allow him to transform us into who we need to be. So just like, you know, as we, as we get this closed up here,
Matt Hallock (42:48)
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (43:14)
Like the Good Samaritan that's walking on that road. You're walking on, in your marriage, you're walking a path. Okay? And you need God with you when you look over and see your wife going through what she, or seeing what she needs. You're looking over and you're seeing it. Okay? So that's the path you want to be on.
When you're on that path though, you gotta be on that path with God, period. If you're on the path with something else, if you're on the path with, I don't know, you name the other thing. If you're on that path and you're walking with the most important thing in your life, which is maybe video games, you ain't gonna see your wife. So video games are very, important to you. So if those are more important than her,
Matt Hallock (43:45)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Or like.
Christopher Miser (44:11)
That's a problem. But God will show
you that. God will help you with that.
Matt Hallock (44:15)
Yeah, yeah. Or if you're walking on the path with bitterness or unforgiveness, right? No, I mean, it's there. No, I think it's the thing for guys. Yeah, whatever it may be.
Christopher Miser (44:20)
Any of it, yeah. Vineyard games was a little bit of a... Maybe silly, but yes. Absolutely.
whatever it is that you're walking with.
Matt Hallock (44:35)
And it, does take him. Sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off.
Christopher Miser (44:35)
That's not.
No, no, no, no, that's okay.
Well, I start thinking about, because you know how I am, Matt. I'm always thinking about backpacking.
Matt Hallock (44:45)
Yeah, yeah, right.
Christopher Miser (44:47)
But
like, loved, cause I loved the backpack, but I'm always trying to get rid of stuff in my backpack. Cause I always want to be lighter. I want to walk with less stuff. Well, we got to do that in our lives too. We got to get rid of stuff that's getting in the way. God will help you with that. God doesn't care how light my real backpack is or my backpacking backpack is, but he does care about.
Matt Hallock (44:55)
Yeah. Yeah.
Hmm.
Christopher Miser (45:16)
the things in our life that are getting in the way of worshiping Him and loving our family.
Matt Hallock (45:23)
Yeah, man, as you were talking about that, was just, yeah, I was just thinking.
You have to walk with God in this because you need him. If there's a marriage that's in a bad spot, there's a lot of anger, a lot of pent up bitterness, a lot of tension. It's really tough to see your wife when you have all your own hurt and you have all the ways that she's wronged you. You need God in that because you've got to get healed.
Christopher Miser (45:52)
Hmm.
Yeah.
Matt Hallock (46:00)
gotta stop pointing the finger at her to do your healing. You gotta get healed whether she changes or not because, only God can do that. And so if you go to him for healing, so you can be okay, put back together on the inside. That's how you get to be able to see her too. Because if you're still walking around in your hurt and your bitterness and stuff, you can't see her.
Christopher Miser (46:04)
Yes.
Hmm. Yeah.
That's a really good point, Matt. And you could even go farther and say it, not just the hurt that maybe the way she hurts you, but also maybe the way, I don't know, your dad or somebody in your past that hurt you and you're still carrying that. That actually will affect how you treat her or how you, know, so you do have to turn to God to get healing from
Matt Hallock (46:36)
Your dad, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. then, then, cause he is, his intention is that we get healed so we can be instruments of healing. That's, that's how he seems to roll. So man, and yeah, you, I wanted to address cause you mentioned being that man of principle who, who is true to your word, true to your values and all that we have to.
Christopher Miser (47:04)
Yes.
Matt Hallock (47:24)
we can really only become that also like with, with God's help here. Like if you've done life either as a people pleaser where you're not living according to principles so much, you're living just according to what is asked of you by everybody around you or what's going to make other people happy or what's, you know, what they're going to think of you. Or if you have been living your life, it's just, no, this is what I want to do. And don't care what other people think, but I want, I want this and that and everything.
to truly be a man of principle, have got to, you have to go to the Lord. You have to let him heal you so that you can, you can sit down with him and say, Lord, what are you and I, God, gonna decide as the most important values and governing principles in my life as a husband? And then when the moment comes,
that there's another potential argument or she does something that offends me or, or something from my past comes to mind again. And it wants to try to trigger me to step out of alignment with my principles. I, I need the transforming power of the Holy Spirit to supernaturally help me to be like, Whoa, I'm not even triggered right now. And I can stay in my
energy in my frame of seeing my wife, even though there's stuff coming at me. And that's a hard ask for some guys, but it really does take laying myself before the Lord and say, okay, we're doing this. We're changing. I need you to change me. I'm not going to do this old version of me anymore.
Christopher Miser (49:12)
Well, Matt, know that you and I have both experienced that. And so if there are gentlemen out there that are wondering if, know, like bottom line is I'm not just reading from scripture today. I'm reading from it, but at the same time, I've experienced it. I personally have experienced it. I'm not just reading something.
Matt Hallock (49:15)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (49:41)
from a book, from the book, I have experienced that.
Matt Hallock (49:43)
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (49:48)
God helping me change.
Matt Hallock (49:50)
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (49:53)
It is not something that I can do on my own.
Matt Hallock (49:57)
Yeah. Right. Right. It took, it took some time alone out in the wilderness and a visitation from God for days on end. Yeah. Totally. Totally. Right.
Christopher Miser (50:06)
Well, that was just one thing. mean, you know, it's a daily thing. is all the time.
That's the narrow path that we walk.
Matt Hallock (50:19)
Yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
Christopher Miser (50:25)
And in
fact, road that the Good Samaritan was on was a, is a rough road. There's a lot there, you know, so the road that Jesus is talking about was a rough road. It is a tough, it is a tough path. life and even and your marriage, I I speak from from experience. Marriage is a tough path.
Matt Hallock (50:37)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Christopher Miser (50:55)
You cannot
go alone.
Matt Hallock (50:58)
Yeah, that's right. That's right. It is. It's challenging. takes it. It requires every bit of manhood that you can muster. And if you don't, if you're not living in that at the moment when you're married, you gotta, you gotta learn how to step up into that. But yeah, you need the Lord to help get you there for sure. Cause it is tough. but the reward is great. Are we able
Should we be able to, to navigate that path? It's a great, fantastic reward. This is a fantastic, I love, I love this topic. This is a great, a great conversation, Chris. Thank you for coming on again and sharing these things with us. And I wanted to remind everybody that Chris, you are building your
Christopher Miser (51:33)
for sure.
Matt Hallock (51:53)
business, your company, Northbound Solutions. I'm going to put in the show notes, a link to your podcast, Heat and Light, which is now up and running in full, right? I know it's on Spotify. I'm assuming it's probably on Apple as well. Yeah, so we'll put links into that. I'll put in how people can also reach out to you, get in touch with you to discuss anything.
Christopher Miser (52:09)
Yep, Apple and Spotify, yeah.
Matt Hallock (52:22)
of that we've been talking about here, leadership in any capacity, right? As a family man, as in business, whatever it may be in ministry, I think you'd have a lot to offer them. is there anything else you want to share with anybody about getting in touch with you or finding you or anything like that?
Christopher Miser (52:41)
I think the only thing I'd, first of all, I really appreciate this time together to talk about these things, because all this is, all that the podcast is, all that the business I'm starting is, is just encouraging others in their walk with God. That's it. If I, on the business side of it, if I make some money, okay, cool, but that's not what it's about, and neither is, none of it is about that. It is about encouraging others.
Matt Hallock (52:46)
Yeah.
Hmm.
Christopher Miser (53:11)
We are the church. are heaven on earth right now, and we need to encourage others in their walk with God. That is the point to this. So if anybody needs anything, they can reach out to me at any time. Like I said before, don't I mean, God told me to do this. I don't really want to do a podcast. I never did. was talking. We were talking about this earlier. I'm terrible at it, and I don't even.
Matt Hallock (53:15)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (53:37)
Like I kind of like dread doing the podcast I really do but which is probably a terrible thing for a podcast host to say but I I'm just being straight. I don't really like doing it. But the thing is is we have been told to go make disciples to encourage
Matt Hallock (53:40)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Christopher Miser (54:00)
fellow believers to walk with God. And I'm encouraging people. That's the whole point to it all. That's why we're having this conversation right now. It's why we talking about the good Samaritan and what Jesus had to tell us. So I appreciate you putting those links and everything on there, mainly because that's what we're called to do, is to share that, to encourage, to empower each other. So that's the point.
Matt Hallock (54:24)
Yep.
Yep. Absolutely.
Well, it's awesome.
Christopher Miser (54:31)
And I really appreciate
this time, Matt, because that's what you're doing and that's awesome.
Matt Hallock (54:35)
Well, I appreciate it too, Chris. And it's fun working with you and we'll keep on doing more. And to all the listeners, go find the Heat and Light podcast on Apple and Spotify. Also keep in mind, if you haven't purchased the DNA of a man, pick it up. If you have not registered for the webinar coming up, the Frustrated to Desired webinar, go ahead and sign up for that as well.
Christopher Miser (54:41)
sweet.
Yes.
Matt Hallock (55:04)
Links to all of it will be in the show notes and until next time. Peace.