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As promised, in this episode - Join me as we explore why I'm a devoted fan of #AryaStark from #GameofThrones, and how a famous line from the series became one of my mantras. Can you guess which one? But that's not all! Imagine this: a brush with destiny during the pandemic, yet the threat wasn't Covid! š± Join me as I unravel the threads of this mystery, delving into the heart of my near-death encounter. Get ready for a whirlwind of suspense, revelation, and unexpected plot twists! To join the support group, sign up here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1092503545401371 Sneak over to my website at: www.inspitewetrust.com (Coming soon!)
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#Health #Wellness #Fitness #HealthyLiving #Nutrition #SelfCare #MentalHealth #HealthyLifestyle #Wellbeing #Mindfulness #HolisticHealth
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Helpful Links:
https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/
#Health #Wellness #Fitness #HealthyLiving #Nutrition #SelfCare #MentalHealth #HealthyLifestyle #Wellbeing #Mindfulness #HolisticHealth
Creators & Guests
What is Spitefully Yours?
Having overcome a near-death experience, I decided to close my life coaching practice (accessible previously on this page) and place my health at the forefront of my journey. My focus has pivoted towards advocating not only for myself but also for others. While life coaching tips will still find their place in my content, my main emphasis is now on patient advocacy through sharing my story. Six months ago, I dove into a career in the AI field, aiming to improve my financial stability in the face of future health instability.
I want to clarify that I'm not seeking donations, but as my followers continue to grow - if anyone is moved to support me as an influencer, I'll genuinely appreciate it.
In my posts, expect a blend of life coaching, patient advocacy, advice on communicating effectively with doctors, a bit of spirituality, as well as curated self-help and self-care resources from various online platforms. Oh, and humor, lots of humor.
While the road to wellness may get slightly bumpier, I hope for many more meaningful years ahead. š
Included are links to my previous content because I want you to see just how much living with chronic health issues impacts everything we experience as as our own advocates.
Support the Show:
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/spitefullyyours
Hey there, friends. Welcome to spitefully yours with me, Andrea Welker, your resident health care advocate. I invite you to join me as we discuss health care and the patient experience in a post COVID world. Get ready for captivating conversations about health, wellness, patient advocacy, and everything in between. Let's redefine what finding good health means together.
Andrea:Listener discretion is advised. Well, folks, it's been a busy week, and I know I'm getting this episode out a little late, but it's because I had a lot going on. I had a few doctor's appointments and things, but none of that matters really. What does matter instead is what I told you I was going to provide you with, and that was why Arya Stark is my favorite character from Game of Thrones and how famous line from this series became one of my mantras during the worst year of my life. Can you guess which one?
Andrea:When Arya Stark was learning how to train with her sword from Syrio Forel, in the first season, Syrio had taught her how to fight in the Bravos style. And when they were outnumbered, he looked at her and he said, what do we say to the god of death? Not today. And that is a phrase that she adapted through her entire run of the series. And that is a phrase that I found myself reciting from time to time.
Andrea:And as Arya would go through these different trials and tribulations, one of the phrases that would come up was this one. What do you say to the god of death? Or what do we say to the god of death? Not today. And it was very pivotal for me.
Andrea:It was very profound because it really helped me remember who I was inside the illness that was crushing me and dealing my life from me and my essence. And I would I would say things like, will will this kill me? Not today. Will this keep me from my goals? Not today.
Andrea:Will this you know and and it just became something I could reference and sink my my things into and just hold on for dear life, because I knew if I could just keep myself mentally aware and sharp, I could hang on for another day. And there was a lot that happened during that time, but I don't wanna get too lost into it, but that's why you're here. Right? Well, one night it actually got so bad that the depression started to really get to me and I was alone. And I just remembered thinking like this could all be over.
Andrea:And if you are anyone who's ever dealt with anxiety or depression or mental illness or chronic illness or chronic pain, You know exactly what that phrase means. This could all be over. And I sat there and I thought about it, and I said, you know, not today. I can't do this to myself. I can't do this to people I love.
Andrea:I can't, I can't surrender when the odds seem insurmountable, when it seems like I'm outnumbered, when it seems like there's nothing left for me to give, I can't give up. And it kind of became this this joke. I would get depressed or feel sorry for myself, or I would just go to this place that I didn't like and where I felt like I was surrounded by this, you know, army of incompetent physicians and people who didn't care and people who are willing to just let me die or just keep striding me along. And I would look at that and I would think, what do we say to the god of death? Not today.
Andrea:And that helped me remember to hang on every time something bad would happen, and I would just get caught up in that mess of the what ifs or the panics or fear. And what I would end up having happened was I would say it. So it worked for me and it was really beneficial and really helpful and I really enjoyed it. So it makes me want to ask you, what is your work? Do you have a famous line?
Andrea:Do you have a phrase or a mantra or something that you use to help yourself stay in the game, to help yourself push just a little bit longer? Do you have something that is really resonating with you that you just it just comes out in a very pure way, like, that you just that phrase is something that you absorbed, and it just became a part of you. I would love to hear what it is. You know, drop it in the Facebook group, drop it in the comments, you know, wherever you can find myself and the other Spites quad members. I look forward to hearing about that phrase and why you picked that phrase for your journey.
Andrea:And if you don't have a phrase like that, that you can find, I suggest that you find one for yourself or, you know, think back to when you really needed to be, like, pumped up where you know the odds are against you. You know that you're the underdog. What was that time, that action that occurred that really helped you push yourself forward and keep moving forward? Because the worst thing that can happen is when we fear death is that we freeze. The second worst thing that can happen is that we deny that it's happening.
Andrea:And that could be really challenging, you know, to go through that. So think about that. That's that's the homework for the week. You know, sometimes it gets really rough. So I also wanna tell you, don't think for a minute that your journey doesn't matter.
Andrea:And don't think for a minute that it really is that simple either. You know, if you're listening and and you're in a different part of your journey and you say, well well, that that doesn't work. That's not gonna help me. You know, today, it may not help you, but tomorrow or the next day it might. And so that's something that I ask you to consider because I respect where you're at on your journey.
Andrea:I respect how hard it is. I respect how frightening and detrimental it is. And I respect that you are here because if you're here, you're still trying. You're still in the fight. You're still in the game.
Andrea:You're still willing to look at the god of death in the eyes and say, not today. And that's what I'm going to ask you to think of going into your week is that even though you're the underdog, you can make it through this. You can keep going. You can be that person who finds yourself in impossible situations and receive the lucky dice roll that keeps you here, and I hope you do. And in case you can't, there's going to be some mental health links in the comments that I hope in the show notes that I hope really help you because sometimes it's okay to reach out.
Andrea:Sometimes it's okay to talk about those hard things. We have a really great Facebook group where people can talk about these things. We also have different resources for you to access that are really important as well. That's one thing that you'll always find here is the willingness to talk about the problems, the fear, how hard it is, what it's like. We don't shy away from those things.
Andrea:That's why there's a listener discretion label. But outside of all of that, well, let's talk about something else that I wanna end on a good note. Because if you're like me, you really like good news, especially when it feels like your health and your life is just completely off course and out of bounds and out of pocket. And you don't know what ends up. 10 years ago, I had a doctor's visit that changed my life and the fact that it was with a provider who only saw a limited viewpoint of what they thought was the problem.
Andrea:And today I got to officially prove them wrong 10 years later with the same test. And I have to tell you, it felt pretty damn good. And my first reaction, other than anger, was I wanted to go to them and say, do you know what you put me through? Do you know the hell I experienced? Do you know what you did to my partner?
Andrea:Do you know how it made me feel to tell my family that you thought I had this incurable disease that I do not have? The feelings I have made me feel whole. They made me feel and I'm still going through all those feelings, but they made me feel safe. It made me feel like I was right. So if you're someone who's out there and you're looking at your diagnosis and you're looking at what the medical provider says they think you have, especially when they have not run any tests to give you that information, look them square in the eyes and say, I want a second opinion because you deserve 1.
Andrea:And my diagnosis at that time or not my diagnosis, but they suggested thing was a really brutal disease that is just awful. It's an awful way to die, and it's an awful way to live truthfully. And, all they wanted to see was this one little criteria of what they thought that was instead of the full picture of what was going on with me. And I actually sat there in their office, and I said, if you let me go home today, I will kill myself. And I will never forget that that provider let me go home.
Andrea:And I called my boyfriend at the time, who's now my husband, and I said, I've got to tell you some things. And I went home and I called my ex husband who lived next door, and I said, I need you to come and safeguard the house because I am not in a very good place mentally. And I just need to have a fail safe in case I really, really lose my shit. So he came and he got all the sharp items out of the home and, you know, and I just sat in the reality of how my life was gonna change and how I was going to be in a wheelchair and eventually die and all these different things. And eventually, they admitted they were wrong.
Andrea:I was actually going to see them for a workman's comp issue. I had been injured on the job, and that was a head injury. And I, as a result, received spinal cord damage, and the damage that I had was something that they felt was enacted by this injury, but it had been a disease I had had the whole time, and that's not how that works. You don't just wake up overnight with with, extreme symptoms of this condition. That's not how that works.
Andrea:It takes years to manifest and break down your body. So I knew about this condition because my family lived with it. But they just, they, they just did not treat my head injury. And as a result, unfortunately, I had long term deficits from that. That took me a very long time to overcome and adapt to.
Andrea:And if you met me now, you wouldn't know it. You wouldn't know that I have a brain injury. You wouldn't know any of those things. But if you knew me then compared to now, you would know. You would be able to see it.
Andrea:So I remember, and I'm sorry I'm bouncing around a lot with the story, but it's just so much. This one instance is so much to tell. And it's a lot for me and I don't want to get too emotional where I stop being able to tell you, because it's also important for providers. We have some amazing providers who, and healthcare professionals who listen to this show because they want to learn about our experiences. So part of why this is largely unedited and raw is because I want them to see what our thought processes are like.
Andrea:When you have brain injuries, when you have traumatic events that happen, where you go, where you have to compartmentalize mentally to see it. So it basically shattered me and it made me lose all trust in healthcare providers at one moment. And I called my primary my primary doctor at that point, and he had been my doctor for, like, 10, 20 years at that point. And he treated a lot of my family. And so he he kind of was just like, that's what they told you?
Andrea:Like, that's that's not how this works. That's he said, I agree with you. I don't think that's what you have. And I said, well, I'm freaked out, and I really need I I need some help with this doc. Like, I'm I'm I'm fucked up.
Andrea:And so I went to see him. I had an appointment. We did blood work, and he basically ruled out from my blood work perspective what they had told me I had. And that made me feel really good because it was traumatic as hell to tell my family I had, you know, that the doctors thought I had this incurable disease that would kill me, that I would end up in a wheelchair, that I would go through all these different things. And seeing how it had killed my other family members, I was not happy.
Andrea:It was lazy medicine, what they did to me. And the day I got my revenge, I got to to say I was right, and I got to say that things, you know, listening to my body paid off. And there's more to the story, but I don't want to tell you so much that I get overwhelmed because it's late, and I wanna go to sleep. But I just wanted to tell you, if you feel like you have this dogged determination, this drive, if you know something inside you doesn't feel right, follow that trail. Follow that trail.
Andrea:Seek a second opinion, a third opinion, or 4th opinion. Whatever it is you have to find, you find it because sometimes there's no greater payoff than a peaceful mind. And my test that I had done recently, it was broken up into 2 parts because it was an EMG study, and you you can do them all in one day, but it it's it's really painful. It's like you're getting poked and prodded with electrodes and electrical current, and it's not very pleasant. And my provider, he did a a good job.
Andrea:It was minimally painful at best. He he did a good job, and he just told me. He said, you know, your problem is not that basically, and your your EMG is normal. And I just sat there with this stupid ass smile on my face, and I'm sure this doctor probably thought, like, why is this woman smiling when I tell her their test is normal? Because he knows I want answers.
Andrea:He knows I will pursue the truth until I find it. But all I could do was sit there smiling because I remembered how broken that one medical provider had made me feel all those years ago and how difficult that experience was for me and how awful it was. And, you know, sometimes we have to choose our mental health and what's best for us instead of pursuing action. So the fight I had with that provider, I had to let go, and I've been told since then that they've improved, but I don't think I could ever forgive them. And I know people say you have to forgive people, but the truth is you don't.
Andrea:You can get closure without forgiving people. As long as you forgive yourself for your actions that you may have had, if you need to, that's all that matters. You don't have to forgive other people. All you have to be able to do is to forgive yourself. And today, maybe that's what I got.
Andrea:I forgave myself for even for half a second, believing that that provider had been right. Really grateful. I'm really grateful for that because the road to diagnosis is a bumpy one and it's not always easy. And it's something that's really challenging and really difficult and frustrating because sometimes, you know, something's wrong, but you may not always be able to tell, but all you can do is really what you can do. So you have to keep going and you have to find an answer.
Andrea:And so that's when I did, and I'm grateful that I did. I'm I had feared getting a repeat version of this test for 10 years, 10 years. It was terrifying to me. It was so fucking scary to me. And now I find out that my test was normal, and I can't get ever how damn good that feels.
Andrea:So I wanted to share that with you. So I just wanted to tell you this week that wherever you are, it's okay. It's okay because eventually you'll get your answer. And if you don't get your answer for what's going on, you will get it eventually. And sometimes it might even leave you with more questions, but the difference is the next time it happens, you end up looking forward to the journey.
Andrea:In some strange way, it all starts to make sense and that helps offset those bad days when they happen. Well, spite squad. That's the show today. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share to spread the message of health and wellness advocacy. If you'd like to support my mission, you can contribute via the links in the episode description.
Andrea:You can visit my website, inspitewetrust.com, for more information. Together, let's continue redefining what good health means. Until next time, stay empowered, stay spiteful, and keep pissing people off. I'll see you next time.