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Manhood often feels like navigating through uncharted territory, but you don't have to walk alone. Join us as we guide a conversation about how to live intentionally so that we can join God in reclaiming the masculine restorative presence he designed us to live out. Laugh, cry, and wonder with us as we explore the ins and outs of manhood together.
Jesse French
Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the Restorative Man Podcast by Restoration Project. My name is Jesse French, and I am your host for today's episode. And friends, you're you're in for a treat today. I get to interview a good, good friend of mine who's a friend of Restoration Project. And I wish I wish right now that you could like see my screen because as I'm looking at him, here is this just like he lives in Hawaii. So number one, we're just framed that. This gentleman lives in Hawaii.
is a full embodier of, in my opinion, of the like just hang loose, lovely laid back Hawaiian feel. but he's wearing a very, very impressive felt cowboy hat 'cause he's from Wyoming, from the great town of Gillette, Wyoming. And here's a guy that is a man of depth and character and is a good friend of mine. His name is Jake Kissick. Jake, thanks for joining us today, man.
Jake Kissack
With an intro like that, I just want to say howdy and Aloha.
Jesse French
There it is. There it is. yeah. Well said. Thanks, Jesse. Well said. Jake, like I said, it it is good to have you here. Some of the wider conversation that we've been having here on the podcast over the last little while is just around this idea of brotherhood. And we've spoken a little bit about that around how we believe that the role of being a brother, of creating deeper relationship with other men is some of God's intention for us as men that
in order to be the restorative man that God has created us to be, this space of brotherhood is an integral part of that process. And so we've been kind of chatting through some of what that is. Obviously there's a lot of layers to that, but excited for this conversation today. And I think I would just tee it up to you with where has your journey of brotherhood and the pursuit of brotherhood, where did that journey begin?
Jake Kissack
Yeah. Well, I'll do a little hat tip to you, Jesse Frenchby and RP. Like you guys who are listening right now, there is a little bit of a fun story at the start and then I'll answer Jesse's question. But bro, for those of you who are maybe listening for the first time and have no idea how long this has been going on or Brotherhood inside a restoration project has happened, I got to meet my story with RP and the crew.
was going to a brotherhood weekend out in Colorado in Estes Park. And so that's when I first got to meet Jesse and I got my hat on today and I really connected with Jesse because he said in his story he was coming from the farm life, ranch life, which is where I grew up on a cattle ranch out in Wyoming on about a five thousand acre cattle ranch, Black Angus, cattle ranch out there, which is just if you've not been to Wyoming and kissed the dirt, you haven't been to heaven yet. So I
Jesse French
Right.
Jake Kissack
I encourage you to go and at least give it a whirl. It is where the Buffalo still do roam and the West is still wild. So I got to meet Jesse eight years ago, and that has been an accelerator of brotherhood. what I had before was forever changed by what started and dominoed since then. So just a little hat tip to you and the crew at RP.
There was a bunch of OGs there. Ben was there, Greg was there, Bruno was there, you and yeah, just such a cool group we brought up from Texas for that weekend retreat. So if you're looking to get deeper in brotherhood and you resonate, Jesse's not told me to pitch this. It's just a part of my story. which is just like if you're looking for more, and I know I was, and we can dive into that, but
I know I was looking for more and I continually was like, man, none of the men's retreats I was going on, none of the small groups that I'd been in had really scratched the itch for me of a deeper connection that was not deeper in like knowing about my sin, but deeper in like encouraging me and really challenging me towards who God had made me to be.
And the glory and the workmanship, as Ephesians 2 talks about, just like we are the workmanship, the poema of God. And you guys taught me about that in that weekend. So that was one spot in my journey that bro was just it was a moment of confluence. And it was where like my desire for brotherhood on one side of the river, like confluence is as I've been like.
If you're gonna chat GBT this, I might be a little off, but as I as I understand it, like a moment of confluence is when two rivers that are separated is as they move towards each other, there is the where they why together at that point of the Y where there's that intersection is called a place of confluence. And the two rivers actually become one, and that is the place of power.
Jesse French
Yes.
Jake Kissack
that even people when I was in yeah, I was just traveling to India and there were places where two rivers came together and they would actually put like a sacred spot to almost hallowed the confluence of two rivers because they see, experience, feel the power of the river has met. And there's no other place more powerful than that for those two rivers becoming one. And so I think that for me, when I met
Yeah, when I met RP, when I met you guys and you guys had that brotherhood weekend, I know for me it met like my river one, if you will, of desire for greater depth, desire for men who would l like live out, not just the iron sharpening iron where it's like you can kind of rouse somebody, hold them accountable to not do something. But for me, it was the real moment of saying, Wow, that desire can as well be met by river number two.
Which is a whole nother way of doing depth, a whole nother way of doing relationship inside of this thing called brotherhood, and to take it incredibly seriously and to begin to invest time, money, energy, effort to be there and to show up in ways of kindness, of curiosity for the men that are in my life and that God brings into my world. And so for me.
I really look back on that time when I met you, Jesse, and that weekend as the first and biggest moment of confluence for me that has changed the course of who I am and then where I'm at in life and what is being produced here inside of Hawaii. So your question of like where did Brotherhood begin? Was that your question?
Jesse French
It was, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Jake Kissack
So a little fun story about the ranch. So I am sandwiched in the middle of three brothers. So there's three of us total. And my older brother, Nate, and then myself, and then my younger brother, Levi. We all grew up on the ranch out on my family's ranch called the L Bar Seven Kissick ranch. And so that is where blood brotherhood began for me. And then I think in that.
Jesse French
Yeah.
Jake Kissack
was a beautiful exploration as as kids of what it meant to be on a team, what it meant to get things done. And on the ranch we
Jesse French
Like just pause you there for a second, 'cause 'cause I think I have a category of that. Just unpack that a little bit of like the setting to have fun, to get things done. Like, give us just a little window into that ranch life as three young Kissick boys are are running around.
Jake Kissack
Like I'll bring into Christmas number one. So there we were, brand new house, and it's Christmas. We wake up and mom's done a beautiful meal. She always did these blueberry crumble muffins, and it's just this warm, sweet smell in the morning. Bacon's crisp, ready to be eaten. Mom's got her cheesy eggs that are hot and ready off the stove. And it's snowing outside. And if you know anything about
Jesse French
Okay, let's do it.
Jake Kissack
The snow does not come down straight. It comes down in a like a tornado whirlwind. And so is blowing and going and snowing outside. And it is full on winter. This is my first recollection of Christmas inside the Kissick home. And so we wake up, have an amazing breakfast, and then we go and we're looking under the tree. And mom had done a beautiful job wrapping it up, put the star on top, all of that. But there's a little bit of a problem.
There are no big presents under the tree. We went to the stock. That's a problem. That is a problem, especially when we're like I was probably five or six at this time. Okay. And the cookies were gone. The crumbs were still there. The milk was down to the dregs. And the stockings were full, but the Christmas tree wasn't. So I started being like, what's going on? Great breakfast, great stockings, but where are the presents?
And my dad says, bundle up, kids. we're gonna go get in the pickup. So when we're bundling up, we get all sort of tidied up and ready for the crisp Wyoming wind. And we're kind of trudging through the snow. And all five of us with my mom, dad, and brothers, we all hop in the truck and we start driving through our place. And it's about a mile and a half to two miles from one end to the other. So we're literally like,
plowing through snow on the way down. The windows are fogging up. And you can just imagine like I'm sitting on dad's lap and kind of getting to have my hands on the wheel. And there we are driving. And then out in the snow, dad starts to slow down. And out in the snow I start seeing things that are black, red, a little bit like tan. And I'm like, what are those? And my dad flips open his wallet and he takes out a toothpick and he
breaks it, breaks it, breaks it, and then sticks them in a line in his finger with his leather glove. And he says, Levi, pick a stick. And so Levi picks a stick and of course it's like the one that's as long as a freak. And I'm like, man. And then I pick one and it's like, it's like half that size. And then Nate picks one and it's the smallest. So birth order reversed and choosing order of what we didn't know was outside. And Dad finally cranks down the window.
And he says, Boys, Merry Christmas. You are going to get to choose a cow. And this cow will be yours to care for, to feed, to make sure it has water, and it will become your herd. And this ranch is going to be one where everyone has a part of it. And I want you to have a part of it. So today, grab some. It's called cake. It's a block of food or like a pellet of food that you hold in your hand and the cows.
wrap their tongue around it and they pull it in and they eat it because there's no food on the ground in Wyoming. It's just snow. And so we feed them these nutrient bricks, if you will. So we each got some of those in our hands and then dad let Levi pick cow, me pick a cow, Nate pick a cow. And that was our normal. We had no idea that all the kids next door didn't drive a mile and a half to get to, you know, thirty, forty cows and on Christmas, you know, we didn't know that that wasn't normal. So
That was a little bit of what it was like to say, this is going to be the genesis of what it means to be on the ranch. You're going to be out here, you're going to brand them, you're going to band them, you're going to vaccinate them and make sure that like they have a tag in their ear, which had our name or our initial, like it was N1 and then N2 for Nate One Cow, Nate Two Cow, and then all of its offspring was there. So that's a little window into.
Like my dad's like really want to honor my dad. Like his mentality was, man, I want my kids to not just be in the stands, but to be in the arena, to be in the ranch arena and really know what it meant to be a part of it and be a big player in it. And our cows grew. Like they helped put me through college. Sure. and they helped give a nest egg as I left. And it was a beautiful, beautiful gift from my family. And that was the beginning of like brotherhood.
Or that's what was cultivating. That was like in the mix of what helped to v cultivate brotherhood moments. We all had our own cow. We all went to branding. We all helped rally together and made it hap made the ranch continue to happen.
Jesse French
Yeah.
Yeah. I'm so interested, Jake, 'cause it's obviously as people are listening, right? The place that we're starting is the actual biological brotherhood for you of the fact that you've got two brothers. So continue to unfold the story. Kind of why why do you start there? Yeah. As we are in this exploration of brotherhood.
Jake Kissack
Yeah. So there's brotherhood and blood, and I'm sandwiched between brothers. And then there becomes some realizations as I get into elementary school and then middle school, high school. There's other families that have just boys, and we were a just boy family, right? Four men, one mom, and we had a little buffalo herd out there called the Kissick Buffalo herd. You know, we were just rough and tumble, which I loved.
And yeah, we then started seeing I started seeing other kids at youth, other kids at church that their lives were just different. And I began to observe like, man, some of them have really different kinds of relationships with their brothers that I was like, I would love more of that. And I would love to have more depth and more like a sense that there's an ally that's watching out for me and there's somebody who wants to like not just work with me, but play with me.
And yeah, so I started seeing that within, I'll do a couple shout outs. Like there's the Thomas family. They were all boys and they were all friends. They were like best buds. They were friends. And I just remember being like, How is that possible? And then there was the homeboys. And I remember it as a kid. I asked, I was like, I can't envision a day like where I'm not fighting my brothers in some way. And so there was a real
revealer as there were these other friends and other families that were bros only that brotherhood could be done a different way. But I didn't know how to do that. And just didn't know how to have that. I knew I wanted it. And that began to birth and almost like create an itch for me for something more. And so
Jesse French
Something more, Jake, like I'm jumping in here for a second, but like something more than like the brotherly competition, the brotherly like conflict, the brother kind of like sparks flying like as as you're, you know, like physically or or figuratively like bumping up against each other. Does that feel right?
Jake Kissack
Yeah, so I would say like to take off the leather gloves of work. Like I was looking for somebody to like take the leather gl gloves off of work. Like I could work with my brothers, I could work with them. There's a whole nother side of like an emotional depth and a deeper emotional connection and like talking about things that were going on in my heart and mind that I didn't have that. And as a kid, there wasn't a real place inside of brotherhood.
as well feel like that there was somebody who like actually enjoyed me outside of I outside of what I could provide inside of like work and help and things like that. So I don't think that that's uncommon. I think that it was the Thomas and the home family. I think those were actually relationships where I'm like, wow, that is really special. That's really unique. But they always like they always had each other's back and always is a pretty big word. But
I didn't see that and even was spending some Christmas time with that or some time over this last Christmas and a couple of weeks ago and recognized like they're still amazing friends and they had a different kind of relationship with brotherhood, growing up inside of their brothers that was just really unique, really special. And it was typically around being standing up for one another and being there for one another, being friends, being allies, not just workmates. And
Yeah, ranch hand mates in a goal to, you know, tag as many cows or move to as many miles in a day. things that were more yeah, just event driven.
Jesse French
There was an awareness for you of like, man, I use the word ally, use the word like enjoyed, like there was an awareness of man, I wish that was possible. Like that I've seen that kind of flicker in some of these other different relationships or families that I know and just the desire of, could that actually be true in your own heart?
Jake Kissack
Yeah, I think there were two prayers that I prayed as a kid and one of them like almost every day. And one of them was like, help me stop fighting with my brothers. And I didn't know how to not do that. So yeah, I think as I started growing in different kinds of relationships outside of family, and then got into middle school and high school, I started seeing other men and accountability. If you grew up in the nineties, I'm was born in eighty nine. So the nineties were famous for like purity culture, purity groups.
And things like that. And there were just so many groups that were focused on what I'm gonna say, like keeping you from not doing what you're afraid. If you keep doing, you're gonna just become the man that you're afraid to be and like be afraid of being a monster or w a destroyer of families, of fear of of being like a man that doesn't produce life where he's at. And yeah, so I really started to get into the
you know, into these groups of accountability groups, guys holding you accountable, but it was always being held accountable to not doing a sin. Right. And that scratched an itch for a while and then I'm like, there's gotta be something more and
Jesse French
But that was the basis of of your relationship, right? Was like, you know, was that accountability towards, you know, did you not do these things? That was the container for what that friendship looked like.
Jake Kissack
Yep. And that was the center of and the the bottom of depth for the relationship. So and it felt like it was missing something. It felt like it scratched a niche for a lot of other guys, but there's something more that I was like, man, I desire for more. And I I actually want to get to see who these guys are, but I didn't know how to ask questions. I didn't have the tools in order to get to the place in relationship that I wanted to go. And it felt pretty foreign.
Like I went to a funeral a month ago and it was my grandfather's best friend. He was ninety-four when he passed. And my grandpa passed about six years ago. So they were friends ever since they were like five or six. So they had almost eighty-five years of friendship together. Or it is like eighty, eighty-five years of friendship, I think. And I was asking my my grandpa's best friend, his name is Bernard, and I said, What was it that like you really enjoyed about my grandpa?
He's like I really enjoyed fishing with him. I so enjoyed camping with him. And they bought and built cabins next to each other in the mountains. And so that their kids got raised together. He's like, I just loved doing things, snowmobiling, motorcycle riding, like doing family together. Love going to church, love singing with your grandpa. And he just goes on and it was just like a beautiful, like, man, that was such a unique thing.
For that generation to hold that long a friendship, do so many things together. They basically built and kept together a church and just a legacy friendship that I'm like, wow, they super enjoy each other. They're friends, they're families, like they're not related by blood, but they just go back as far as they have memory almost. And I've always called him Uncle Bernard, but he he's not related to me. Grandfathered in, which is more common.
Jesse French
Yeah.
Jake Kissack
the uncle title. It's more common here in Hawaii, but in Wyoming, I it was just such a relish gift. And I started to piece like their relationship started to make sense literally after the Brotherhood Primer. Cause you guys walk through and if I butcher this, please correct it, Jesse, but you guys said that there are five kinds of male relationship that they have with other men. And one of those is like everyone starts off as a stranger. Mm-hmm
And then moves to an acquaintance through a handshake. That acquaintance moves to a buddy through a shared interest or activity. That buddy turns into a like, what is it, a best friend? Just a friend. Just a friend with a more time typically shared in a similar interest or activity. And then there's just like this massive chasm between that kind of relationship and the final one, which is brotherhood.
And it wasn't until I started looking and doing the stuff that Brotherhood, what you guys had shared, where I started getting the tools like how do you bridge the gap between being like a friend, best friend, and being a brother? Like how do you get there? Cause I had had a lot of acquaintances or like a lot of strangers that turned into acquaintances. I had a lot of acquaintances that turned into buddies and really had a lot of activities that shared, loved, and did a lot of.
And many of those did, or some of those, became best friends and friends, but the brotherhood was just such a gap for me where was frustrated and like I don't have the tools to get there. And then it was literally at Estes Park, Colorado, eight years ago, where you guys said the the last ingredient or the magic secret sauce of getting from friend best friend to brotherhood is story.
And I had never known that. And I went back to my grandpa and I actually went back to Uncle Bernard at the time. And I said, Do you know what my grandpa's story is? And they both kind of sat there independently. I didn't ask them at the same time, but I was super curious. I'm like, Do you know what each other's stories are? And so many of the stories had been lived that I think it kind of was a funky question.
And I was just like, I wonder if they know what would make each other cry. Like I wonder if they know what would make them like incredibly angry, like what they get just like super passionate about. I wonder if they know what makes them completely light up and where you just say something and then you just watch their face light up. And the conversation was at I think Thanksgiving. So the turkey leg I think got in the way of a longer conversation there. But it was after the
That weekend with you guys, where you said, hey, really story. And then very specifically, what was important is like asking these open-ended questions about like, man, what was it like to grow up on a ranch with 5,000 acres? Like, and someone I think asked me, like, how did your geography, like where you physically grew up, how was that informed how who you've become? I start thinking about Sage Rush.
Jesse French
Your identities. Yeah.
Jake Kissack
rattlesnakes, badgers, fox, and occasional elk. And like how the physical landscape actually being extreme. I mean, there can be swings into the negative like thirties, forties, fifties below zero, and then it can get over a hundred degrees. So there's like these massive swings. And I found myself resonating with the fact like I can be really incredibly extreme. Yeah. I can I can live well.
Jesse French
Yeah.
Jake Kissack
within massive extremes and and intensities, because I mean, that's what it was like that's what the physical landscape of my childhood invited me to like, yeah, I I would say incorporate in, like that's baked in to being in Wyoming and on a ranch. And that's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Jesse French
Yeah. And I think, man, you said so many great things. I mean, the piece that you said, right, we said it earlier in one of the conversations, but like that sharing of story, like it is the shift into brotherhood. And story, right? You give a great example. Story not as the, you know, give me the timeline of your event, but story used the phrase like, I wanna ask this open ended, we would say curious question.
Around how you were formed, Jake. Like that example that you gave around the the physical geography is such a good one because what the question is after is how is Jake Kissick formed, right? Like that is the wondering, that is the pursuit, believing that in that answer, there's something of God's character there. And there's probably something of how evil has opposed that. And so so, so well said that when that story is shared and pursued and curiously wondered about.
Now we've shifted from friends into brothers.
Jake Kissack
Yeah, and those are bro, I love that. And like to your point that you guys shared, it was Ephesians two ten, and you said, like, we want to anchor our weekend in this. Like, we believe that this is true. And it says, For we are his workmanship, created in Christ for good works, which God has prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. And that workmanship, I think Chris Bruno, I call him Bruno, said that workmanship is the word poema.
And poema in the Greek is like literally like handcrafted, unique, and beautiful. And there's a part of that, that if that's the foundation, like where has that been, yeah, like where has evil been out to kill, steal, and destroy that? And it's typically within the the younger years, and it's typically within those really formidable informational years. And I remember sitting there and I had like known the guys that I was bringing for years.
Some of for multiple years, some of them for just a couple of months. And yeah, I remember they asked in the weekend, you guys asked in the weekend to bring a storied item and I like, That sounds real stupid. Like
Jesse French
Whoa.
Jake Kissack
Fairies are out there like asking for a storied item. And so I I literally brought a toothpick and because my dad loved toothpicks and growing up and I mean the story I just told about Christmas, like he pulled out it from his wallet a toothpick. And I was like, There's so many moments that have my dad in them that I absolutely love and like a toothpick has just been so formidable for like there's toothpicks everywhere that's in the laundry, like on in every pick up and
A lot of pictures and that was just a part of my childhood. I didn't realize it, but I started sharing stories about childhood. I started sharing stories about me and my dad. And then these guys just started asking open-ended questions. And one of them that really hit me was like, Jake, you're still carrying toothpicks. Like, what is it about toothpicks? Like, what is it that you are trying to carry with you from your childhood? And I just broke down because I never thought about that, but I was like, I
Loved those moments like with my dad. Like, and I think yeah, emotional because it's like, like how many kids get to grow up spending that much time with their dad and learn, like, my dad always said, like, I want you to make a living from your neck up. I'm gonna teach you how to make one from your neck down. And just this beautiful gift that like I talk to men all the time who they didn't have dads.
They had no one who was present at all. And like there was my dad from the time we moved out on the ranch, literally using a toothpick in that moment to launch us into, in a sense, our our young careers as ranchers and and ranchers and being a part of the Kissick ranch. And so there's a lot of pride in that. And I'm like, yeah, I still like I carry that pride with me of like my dad gave me so many wonderful gifts.
And I was like now as I'm in this context of brotherhood, like I long for more with my blood brothers, for brothers that are around me. And like these stories that I'm telling, like I I don't have answers to their questions. It's not these yes no, like, where did you grow up, Gillette, Wyoming? Where did you know, how many acres was it? How many cows? Were they black Angus or Hereford? Like, what was it like? These you guys keep two separate frames, but you're like,
There's content and there's context questions. Content questions are typically for just the person who's listening. Like, when was that? Where was that? How long ago? And then there's these context questions, which is like, man, what was it like to be sandwiched in the middle of three brothers and to feel like that there was no intimate ally brotherhood? Yeah. Like, what was that like for you? And I remember just those questions where I'm like,
I gotta think about that one. I've never I've never had somebody ask that kind of question. And I felt my soul literally opening up and my heart opening up to explore. And these guys were super kind, incredibly just curious, or they were aware that there's more than just the physical reality and physical story that was happening. Like they were like, Man, I believe that God has a workmanship and I believe that that's been alive since you were
Jesse French
Yeah.
Jake Kissack
born that there's a beautiful workmanship and handymanship that God has been crafting in you. And let's be curious about that. And then there was a time at the end that I just was ambushed by where all the guys who had listened my story asked questions. They just started blessing me as a man. And like it was after just like revealing things that I'd never, I wasn't like holding them captive, like I'm never going to share these. It's like I hadn't even known them.
So to explore that landscape of curiosity and almost like to start exploring the gold, I had a lot of guys who could rouse me and I could rouse them and give them a hard time and joke and and all of that. But as far as guys who were able to pull out the gold, like these guys just were freaking miners, man. Like they just were skilled and seasoned miners and the questions that were given and yeah, it's like the the questions that were given.
were literally the tools that helped excavate a parts of those. Yeah, it's like part of the gold and the beauty and the workmanship that God had been up to for a very long time that I'd been ignorant to and needed other people to see, needed other people to name. And so it was very that was the genesis of like the deepest level of brotherhood that I've experienced both at that time and still to date.
Jesse French
Jake, it's fascinating to me that you earlier in the conversation you were talking about growing up and and having this desire, like, I want to be able to have an ally on my behalf more than just someone to put the gloves on and and work alongside and get work done. Like you had this awareness of, and I I want an ally at, you know, whatever age that was. And then years later, what you're describing with those guys as they are pursuing
the poemia of your life, right? That Ephesians 2, the craftsmanship of God that your life reflects. Like they are an ally of God, an ally of your image bearingness, right? As you're talking about them mining and pursuing the gold of them mining the part of God's character that only Jake Kissick reflects. Isn't it interesting? You had that longing for an ally, you know, as a boy. And then as you get older, right, you actually experience that.
The ally on God's behalf to name, to call forth and to bless and to call good the unique ways that you reflect God's character.
Jake Kissack
Yeah. Yeah. And I I appreciate that. And like to your point, like all of this sounded so woo woo when I first heard it. It just sounded like a bunch of fairies. I was like, You guys gotta put some better, you know, elk skin gloves on, like get rid of the rabbit skin and like put on the elk skin gloves and like start going to like a I didn't know how to engage in the way that you guys were inviting and I resisted it for some time.
And then it was literally as I saw other like my heart j I just felt my heart just really sync with a bunch of the dudes there that were saying like I want something more. Like that was just a theme of like I know what I have is good. I think there's something greater still. And I've been in the same accountability groups. I've been in the same groups where we just like motorcycle or UFC or lift or do these like just activity and event based things that are more shoulder to shoulder.
And then they're just deathly afraid of the face to face. And I've I for sure was as well. And then it in that weekend, like it became so much more apparent where evil was at work. And one of the guys in our group just shared like stories of abuse and sexual abuse. And it just was like, man, like it became so apparent to me how evil was at work to just crush this young boy early on in life.
to where he could like blossoming into the poema that God made him to be, just felt like it was coming up against so much resistance. And yet he shared the story and we got to call out the gold and like we were at like there were questions there, like, man, there's like a hammer dropped. Somebody I think said like God's power isn't always seen in what he prevents in our lives.
It can be seen. His power can be seen, though, in the ways that he takes like those broken and tattered pieces of our lives and makes something beautiful out of them. And brotherhood and these investigating and being aware of where evil has been at work and then championing and allying with God's good and holding the grief of those moments and as well the glory of.
of what was attacked and naming that glory is just like such a redemptive like taking those tattered pieces and making something beautiful, reconnecting and connecting with men in that way. And I mean I became a brotherhood addict after that. Like I would touch.
Jesse French
I like this so so
Jake Kissack
Good, because it is, yeah, I grew up on a large ranch, but like these kind of questions and tools, I'm gonna mix a metaphor, but it was just like it felt like it expanded the pastures of exploration infinitely for brotherhood. And so for that, I just I'm forever grateful. And like I'm sitting in a moment now where I'm super grateful that I've been able to both have men.
make a covenant to me and me make a covenant to other men of like being these intimate allies of God's glory, God's gold in my story. And like seeing that and like asking like, Jake, where have you forgotten that? Because I'm like seeing you forget. And these are the ways that I'm seeing you forget that. And this is where it's coming up. And you you seem pretty high strung, you know, like, or like you totally kicked off the bandwagon. Like, where have you forgotten that God has made you an ambassador for truth?
Like where have you forgotten where God has like made you a pioneer for brotherhood? Like where have you forgotten that? And it's like, hold on, let me check in and like let me check in with the Lord. Let me check in with community and then reset and recalibrate and like have these guys that are like challenging God's kingdom on earth as it is in heaven, like as it is like bringing God's kingdom here to Hawaii. And now I'm like in this beautiful moment where
I'm gonna have like fifteen men standing in my wedding. There would have been more, but many of couldn't come to this beautiful destination. so somebody's gotta suffer, you know.
But to stand with these men and like each one of them has made not written one of them actually did, but like a covenant between like I'm gonna be there for the big moments. I'm gonna be an intimate ally and an ally to you for God's glory. I'm gonna continue to call out the gold and investigate what more there is of how God has made you and I will continue to fan into flame what that can look like to be given to the world and for you to partner.
in the work that God's already prepared for you. He's already prepared you for it. Let's partner in that and invite them in their communities to partner with that and invite that in. And so those guys are going to be the ones standing behind me. And for the first time in my life, I will turn my back on all of those brothers. And I will, like I told all of them, I'm like, I'm going to wink at you as soon as I turn my back. Like and it will be a wink and a nod and a hat tip.
To say, like without you, without you calling out the gold and without your intimate ally of brotherhood and being more committed to my glory and that glory that God's put inside of me, you have been more committed to that glory than what I've been able to at times. And you've been more committed to that. And that has brought me to a place where now I can covenant with a woman and offer that kind of same invitation.
that I think God gives, which is like my end goal with my fiance, soon to be wife Lauren, is that we would be intimate allies. We would know each other's story. We would know each other's gold and like the poema of each other and continue to investigate that intentionally and ask questions and bring other people in to on the sisterhood side and the brotherhood side to continue say like, may we charge together forward.
inside of a beautiful brotherhood and sisterhood relationships and with other people. And like it will to me it it's like there is a powerful move of God here in Hawaii. There's a powerful move of men and brotherhood here in Hawaii that is yeah, it's like reestablishing God's supernatural power in the homes and the supernatural power of the family to reach out.
And to participate in God's evangelical work, God's work of redemption, in and through the Ohanas, in and through the neighborhoods and the parts of this island that are in longing for and desperation for yeah, for redemption. And so these men are the ones that have charged forward with me with Brotherhood. And I know their stories, they know mine, and we get to chase after the Lord.
together in such a rich and beautiful way. Like it all started at the confluence of RP, that RP weekend eight years ago. And now I have Avenger. I call my groomsmen the Avengers. It's Avenger Brotherhood. Like these guys are just hammers. Just absolute hammers. And fun, unique. Some of them got superhero names. And it just like
I could go on and on, but I just feel so incredibly blessed, bro, to have been given the tools and now to be giving those away to so many other people and to see the fruit that it has. So many guys have said, like, man, the relationships I now have I've never had before. And now that I have them, have I'll never be able to go back. I'll never be able to go back. And they just cultivate richness and their wives, their kids, their families have just
been thriving, their communities, their work. The like brotherhood feels like a foundational bed or a foundation for a thriving relationally and actually in life. And I think that that's God's heart. He's our ultimate, he's the ultimate brotherhood. Fully knows us, fully sees us, embraces us, and the greatest gift. He came down into flesh to do that. No iPhones in the sky, no long distance calls.
Like he came down and embodied that. And that feels like our directing like our greatest brother is Christ. And we're all in that brotherhood. And what a gift. What a gift that is. And now my brother, my little brother shares that. My older brother shares that. And he just pass my older brother, Nate, just passed away May second. And we just had the funeral. And I looked out into the audience and I said, How many of you guys have basically like
prayed and been a part of the Mark II crew of carrying my brother and like carrying his soul and his physical body before Jesus, beaten down, you know, but beaten down the roof to like for him before Jesus. Yeah. And like so you have been that man, Bruno's been that man. So many people at Restoration Counseling and Restoration Project have been those people. And the brotherhood that I have has been those that have helped have a fraction of the action.
holding the rope, rope holders to see that my that my brother would surrender to Jesus and like give me the gift of brotherhood within brothers and brotherhood within blood. Yeah. And he's cultivated that between me and my younger brother Levi, who's best man and officiating my wedding. So it's like, well, I could just tilt my hat all day and just say thank you to you guys. Thank you to the work that you have invited other men into.
And yeah, if you are out there listening and like, man, I would love to have something like that in my life. I'd love to have those kinds of relationships. It is possible. Like it is super possible. It's changed the nature of every relationship that I've had with men. Like there is not a single man in my life who has not felt the weight of impact of what was given to me eight years ago. And I'm just so thankful I get to be a generous giver.
and cultivator of brotherhood in whatever zip code that would place me. And so for that, like I hope this encourages your audience and you men who are listening who have an itch that hasn't been scratched, continue to come back for more stories, continue to come back for more. Like there is more. It is possible. And like sign up for a weekend with RP. Sign up for one of their like any of their events.
All my guys here in Hawaii now are like, How can I get my son or daughter? I'm like
Jesse French
Come on out. How gonna do a grill.
Jake Kissack
like e one last gush is like even my fiance's father, my father in law, like he even went to Grove and he's almost seventy this year. Yeah. Yeah. And like it's been a gift to him. My dad came to the Grove and it's just like, man, this doesn't matter what age you are, at what point, if you have that longing.
For deeper relationships and you're in that gap between like, man, I got a lot of dudes I do a lot of activities with, but man, it just doesn't like it doesn't scratch the itch of something that is just so much deeper that I want. Man, I just encourage you. Like whatever age you are, whatever season you're in, prioritize this. It will bring beauty, it will bring life, and it will bring truth to all the relationships that you have in just such a
expansive way and like God's kingdom on on earth as it is in heaven, you will see it flourish and thrive. So that would be my gratitude to you. We celebrated my brother's life and it was truly a celebration of life because of the many, many, many, many men who were seeking out and pursuing and putting my brother before the Lord and the Lord answered our prayer. And so
Thanks for being a part of that, Jesse French. Yeah. Being a part of that.
Jesse French
Jake. Thank you for. Yeah. Man, thanks for your generosity of your own experience, for your generosity of what is possible. There's so many pieces that I wish we had more time to dive into. You talk about the just the exciting movement of what is happening in Hawaii, and you humbly just don't mention your participation in that alongside the spirit. And so Jake, you're
The ways that you've catalyzed that and joined God in that work, it is so obvious and so clear. And so the chance to chat with you today. Thank you for this time, for your hope, for who you are. Let's do it again, man. I'm deeply grateful for you.
Jake Kissack
Cheers to that. let's do it again. Thank you, Jesse French. Yeah.
Jesse French
Thank you. You bet, man. Talk to you soon.
Jake Kissack
Aloha.