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An acid lake. A ruined church. Beach umbrellas sized for fey. The party turns a wraith-haunted hazard zone into a spa day — bottled corrosive as souvenirs, candied bugs for everyone, Picturn drafted as pool boy. A psychometric feather reveals saucer fey stole a ring and watched a man dissolve. Rahua ends the day clubbing Oren over a foot massage.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
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What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
are you guys excited for another exciting episode of raw grind
so hi everybody welcome to another exciting episode of rot grind you might notice we're
all sounding just a little bit blah in some way shape or form either due to the weather
sinuses uh mystical things or whatever we're all feeling sick today but we're here unfortunately
speaker is not here today um he currently caught covid so please send him all your good wishes
and stuff like that as he tries to do his best to feel better and such but now we have to do extra
effort to unlock the tanhauser deluxe dlc so if you can all help us in that that would be greatly
greatly appreciated um first off one thing i want to announce uh before we get on to the episode is
that those of you who are supporting us on patreon we have a pretty big pdf coming out especially for
around the swamps of the satitude it's gonna be a pdf that's gonna be coming out on monday has a lot of
nice amazing art from all of our resident artists here and uh and hulky did a lot of work on this
pdf put a lot of his uh a lot of his heart into it so please support us over at patreon.com four
slash uh narrative declaration if you want uh you want to snag this uh pdf that we will release on
monday yeah oh yeah i'm gonna have a lot of critters and bits of bobs all sorts of fun stuff so it says
one on the cover but it has like three monsters in it so yeah there's a lot of cool stuff in there
yeah it's got a pack of stuff so it's uh you'll get a lot of stuff with it um further on from that
i like to introduce the introduce the amazing individuals who are going to bring in today's
episode starting off with odo roshi hi hello it's me odo back again another week at rock grind everybody
uh protect protect your noses it's it's sick season uh i'm playing volley the self swashbuckler
uh let's jump right into it i'm waiting for you to one day to show up odo and be like it's odo it's
a boy skinny ween is here playing vile well don't ruin my next bit zoran
last episode of the show that's coming it's not spoiled if you didn't get to it fast enough
spoiled like the eggnog at the bottom of your shoe my shoe why are you putting that there
next up we have the ever amazing hulky crow that's me i'm hulky crow i'm here again i'm still full from
the freaking holiday a day or two ago oh yeah happy late thanksgiving yeah but i think happy
thank late's giving gangsta yeah we're about to show the swamps the meeting of thanks killing as
well i'm very i'm excited i'm very excited how very topical that as you talk about eating too
much from thanksgiving we get five community subs from vomitorium overlord
the biggest fan of vomitorium overlord is erindale hi my name is erindale and i'm tired of this bit
i'm playing bald i'm feeling pretty terrible
and of course the one who's gonna be bringing us who's gonna be bringing us to this amazing episode
is our resident game master thurston hillman hey everybody i'm actually doing great so you know
it just means i'm gonna bring a positive energy to this show that's really gonna bring things up
it's gonna be good yeah i had a great great week yeah i didn't have thanksgiving but i played ogres
last night it was fun okay hey i want to say something i'm mailing a jar of fire ants to your
house hey hey hey zorn i'm gonna take a moment to address the audience and someone because i saw a
little bit of this last time i need you guys to understand i am if i am actually angry i'll
fucking let them know there is nothing funnier to me than a righteous indignation that is just
directed very poorly at nobody at me at me that's a very weird thing to call thurston he's not a
nobody wow my point being is unless you are 100 convinced that i'm like actually mad at something
don't assume i am i'll fucking kick your ass with my shoe it's right here that's a glass not a shoe
yeah it was amazing how many comments showed up on like episode 20 i'm like especially on youtube
going is harold mad i hope harold is having a good time he seems like he just really fucking hates
no i just like sitting here and being i just like sitting here and being angry i love wasting my time
for three hours a day being angry at people i hate just sitting in his chair gripping his arm
pressing he's seething zoran doesn't pay me enough for this to be my full-time job so i can't hate him
that much yeah we gotta get to like a virginity on patreon then everyone gets to do this for the time
they don't even hate people in my day job except for some of the anti-vaxxers but you know that's
another story yeah the uh yes try not to psychoanalyze this please this this one request i'll be like i've
had people come in go like wow thurston really hate zoran i'm like guys stop by the way
zoran asked me to put on noise cancellation and i don't think you guys heard it but there was there
was a car and it didn't show up on my fucking it worked it didn't it worked no canceled no
there's no blender bus it was it was a little quiet car so presumably if he really tries for it
we'll hear him a little brat way i'm gonna lean into his window and spit in his face
on god shut up on god continue zoran god like spit on his face but
it's gonna be one of those episodes
i am your host zoran the bear i'm playing oran the strict strewd as a reminder everyone we are
level six we are suffering we're coping and we're seething and thurston how are you going to ruin our
day all right previously on uh our destined band of chuck fox continued their journey into the swamps
of the solitude title drop for that upcoming pdf um on a return back to zabblezap's trading post
the group instead met with blutis the dragonfly merchant uh where they made several purchases and
you know rahua received some ominous warnings of things that might happen nothing big nothing big
um after their shopping excursion our our uh our band continued on into the solitude which we have
this fancy hex map for taking advantage of the cool hexploration system um they they carried on having
uh long since departed past the uh the perfectite cube area which was embedded in into the the swamps
to the northeast they carried on uh through through a bit of a forested area and eventually made their
way to to a more open plain there however they came across a small lake um in in this this open
expanse on their way to find oran's missing dragon gorgomonger uh the lake itself seemed to have some
kind of chemical property to it which the party quickly discovered to be acidic in nature as they
uh walked around the lake they they discovered a um a ruined structure which uh appeared to be some
kind of like old temple um or church of some kind uh and as they investigated they were also able to
discover a very strange site a set of um towels and umbrellas scaled for for smaller creatures which
seemed to be um which seemed to be watching uh the towards this acidic lake and then they found you know
some some some skeletal figures there and as they were investigating all of this uh several wraiths
emerged from the the the the acid water these were horrific um cool acid wraiths that i'm just going
to show the art for again because they were pretty cool and these uh these wraiths emerged good job
yeah jers did a great job on these um and just this these these like robed spectral figures with spears
came out and quickly um you know began to overwhelm the party even the aura that they had begin
consuming the clothing and and skin of the pcs but after a bit of a rally moment our group managed to um
managed to overcome the race so they had each become incredibly wounded as a result of this uh they
this the session essentially ended with our with our party doing a last little investigation of the
area where they uh where vali specifically noticed a feather and upon investigating the feather vali
discovered that it was um something a bit psychometrically charged and she had a flashback
uh to a scene that displayed several creatures uh enjoying the the little little beach they'd set up
um which some some of you may remember as these lovely little fae called saucers or as we know
shit-talking birds um and the birds had uh apparently stolen a ring off of someone who had ventured into
the acid lake who the uh players had learned from blotus there was someone who tended this area
um and guessing that the the ring provided some kind of protection uh the saucers took it and watched
the man dissolve into acid after which they promised that they would return the ring to their king
um towards the southeast
and that is where we left off and we're gonna we're gonna jump right back into the action all of you are
still pretty beat up from the combat volley you sort of like staggered back a bit after having this
vision um what uh what y'all uh what y'all gonna what y'all gonna do now if i can take point i would
like to use my remaining crafting things for the day uh which i believe i had either three or four
remaining and i want to make a bunch of elixirs of life and just be done with that i mean you can say
you could save that for damage stuff because i can just heal everybody
uh what do you want to take a second yeah i can if we take a break and like is it like in like
in game we we rest for a good long while also the game's paused we can't move by the way and um
like i can just continuously heal you you know you don't have to waste all your agents to make
potions you could save that for combat which i feel we're whatever
yeah unless we're long resting here yeah i encourage us to which a long rest
we got beach towels and umbrellas we can have a little beach time rest
yeah yeah at the acid lake nothing like a skin no i don't think i want to i don't think i want
to rest at this place it sucks come on mr bodge just go lay down i got so i got some lotion i could
put on your back and you see it's just like clay with like little crabs in it all crushed in and
and it's all a bunch of stuff like come on mr bodge just take a leg ignoring ignoring that
wholeheartedly the crabs that like survived by the acid lake that's fucking metal crabs hey it's
swaps of solitude everything's fucked up here thurston can i get a free alchemical acid by just
dipping an empty bottle into the lake yeah yeah you wanna you wanna like you wanna grab some acid from
this lake sure he said he said yes how many vials do you have yeah yeah i have alchemy supplies that's not
that is not specified yeah he has as many bottles as he needs i will use my pair of tongs and i will
lower the glass into the lake and i will come back up with some fucking acid in a bottle okay yeah
man i can dare to declare that you brought like a hundred bottles with you you'll never be done
with them in the camp how about you just how about you not make me spend more money than i don't need
to spend spending money yeah i know but you're like playing around i'm over here like i have a bottle i
have a i have a pair of tongs and you're like wow you should spend the native declaration and 50
gold to prove that you can actually have i've got to fucking pulverize you
has created a unique a unique terrain element it's super cool so we have to weaponize it against him
by by giving us infinite acid vials that's cool all right fine you know what how about this i'm
going to give it to the picture and be like picture and look kool-aid
do i get an acid flask or not no yeah yeah yeah you do one sec
the health benefits of this lake are undeniable i mean look at me the pounds literally just
fall away oh well you know i've always wanted to try some of that i'm not actually giving it to
him you june i believe i wanted it for our audio people i had him roll a wisdom check which uh
picturn failed tremendously if i wanted to kill him i would just spend an entire turn throwing acid
flasks at him i don't need to do that okay uh i will spend again a narrative declaration
i'm gonna obliterate you let me finish this i'm sorry i thought i thought you got to say it's my
my fault oh well shots is gonna get his flask i'll give him this one i will give you one flask
from this i now have seven acid flask moderates okay good that's all go about your business i'm
getting rid of the quicksilver mutagen okay cool yes yes my friend
i don't like this supposedly not if not if chat is to be believed harry potter allegedly
i want to spend a narrative declaration to like adjust these umbrellas and blankets and
stuff and make it all nice to where it's like a spa day for everyone like orange got all set up and he's
got like little jars and stuff he's probably found around like old ones but he kind of quickly cleaned
somehow i don't know he's a jerk he'll do water stuff or whatever and um get it all set up
literally to be like a healing station slash spa day and he heals people like it's a spa and i'm
going to start wounding everybody i will allow this i will even if you spend this narrative declaration
allow you to use the average dc instead of the dc that would be required for being in an acid lake oh thank
you very much welcome everyone it's like hey guys come on let me get you guys all patched up you know
pector i need you to be like the fan guy can picture and feed me grapes oh well i you know i can i can do
a lot of things um what what what what do you do where did oran go he disappeared he walked on top of
baldrick is collecting the acid and he just he just shouts over his shoulder victor and you've been
promoted to pool boy all right that's the pool he points at the lake no no don't get in the don't get
in the lake don't don't don't get in there okay okay you're you're all kind of mean to me lately
i'm asking for help because you're my friend
and because you're a talented healer okay picture okay if they try to leave hold their legs down
what all right roo roo roo roo bodrick who wants to come up picture and don't listen to oran he's just
lying to you also we haven't been mean to you at all that's crazy talk you're just making
it up have you ever heard of gaslighting are you gaslighting this far boy jesus christ you're
monster this guy i know thurston does does picture and have a grasp of the concept of gaslighting
ah christ i need to know okay one sec he has proficiency in gaslighting
he is he is he you know you don't know um but it's probably safe to say he is familiar with
gaslighting all right can i spend a narrative declaration to make him not familiar with gas
no that's not how this fucking works
that's like that's like the worst like gaslighting when you use these points to alter reality so i can
gaslight him more no fuck you all right it's that's okay i'm just paying god to change the
will of a character to allow me to gaslight them hey god what a way to word that
very good use of our resources yeah exactly yeah no i'm gonna i'm gonna lay down i'm going to get me a
rest because volley feels like uh shit as it were yeah come on volley i'll get you all set up
i'm gonna just look after your legs here bali i'm just gonna gonna hold them like this and
he's looking at you or in like yeah terribly just you know just give her a foot massage or something
all right you know to be in position wait okay what i'm not taking off my boots not around this lake
do it through the boots what what anyway eat this worm and i will begin the healing process
okay i'm going to roll i'm going to roll healing now
i don't like this bit i don't like
i'm feeling even more tense all right so i could assurance this to guarantee it but
i i want to see what happens yeah you want to yeah i want to criss
not a failure though so let's hope okay let's also i like to point out the one person in chat just a
little bit ago who just like jump in the water and i'm like why would you want us to die what's wrong
with you oh yeah i take a running leak because we want to end of this bit immediately all right
rolling and i'm basically doing the thing where i'm going to heal you for like an additional hour to
double the healing is what i'm doing for treat wounds so that's what i'm doing doing my cancer
natural medicine but the okay natural medicine
okay that's a 31 i think that's a crit that will crit that will crit okay
well he has been healed so basically he only took the most painful bit it's 48 times two right
because i'm taking the extra time to heal with three wound uh the the the reread it if you succeed
at your check and continue treating the target to gain additional healing if you do for a total of
one hour double the hit points that gain from tree wounds yes so it'd be whatever you roll times two
yeah and the crit is 48 hit points if it's wounded condition yeah so if you are wounded not from your
rot then uh you'll be good so rolling uh you're gonna get healed for 30. nice but that should bring me
up close to full i think there you go yeah but it's fine or or will they take the uh take the random
corrosive seaweeds off it's like you see the acid helps get rid of all the dead skin
you know so now now you feel so fresh and it's all smooth right go ahead give your
give your cheek a little feel my skin is very soft now is it supposed to hurt uh yeah oh then it's working
as intended thank you very much or image it's wonderfully tingly ow the problem is valley
ow image of volley half buried in dirt arrow pointing at her full of worm
is this supposed to hurt uh before you leave would you like a candied worm and or a bug
um you know oh oh dear or you must have worked so hard on these i did i worked really hard just so
everyone here can enjoy it will you take one oh you know what oren for you i'll i'll have a candied
bug i i've had tequila with worm before how different could it be okay here you go he offers
waits for you to eat one in front of him in front of him okay oh i'm gonna take this honestly i'm gonna
take a crunch do i need to make a wheel save uh no no you it's it's a bug uh just say you crunch
it and let thurston tell you if you have to do that don't give him ideas no it's you you eat a bug
i crunch a bug yeah yeah you you eat you eat it it tastes like thurston oh god yes bonus right
a bug bonus you can't co-opt my bit i don't see your name on the copyright yeah it is did you look
at larders of outset jackass no i didn't read it you didn't read well you didn't technically put it in
the pdf so yeah well technically i'll license copyright ever until we we don't know how to read bro
i was i was right clicking i was right clicking in in foundry to kick player and then i realized that
that would screw up the whole overlay so i didn't
but but but enjoy your bug bonus
all right next time next time who's coming hey barrel's headlong into the lake he's going to leave
i'm just gonna take a running lead
you're having pick turn give foot massages and you're feeding people bugs
yeah two things another day an outset or we're not an outset just another day outside of that set
till collins another day in paradise begins playing
i mean we gotta get you know i'm sorry we i gotta get uh all the mud and stuff from on your feet you
know it's like a horses who've got to get it all out there you have to horses all right i literally
can't even feel these i mean don't worry about it look you might not feel it but you know it helps
you with efficiency you know flex your little little little toesies a little bit or what the
fuck is wrong with you
zoran i know you're trying to get a certain subset of people into the audience
iacoom laughs
oh hey it's me quentin tarrantino i come fresh off
of the shooting kill bill seven now i hear their feet I rolled my i rolled myăaming i rolled
a2 with a total of 18 but i still succeed because the dc is 15. yeah there's a pretty very good medicine
i'm taking the extra time so it'll still be 2d8 but doubled i rolled a one and a two so you get
healed for like six this is this is i want to point out like a full hour of you enduring this
and only getting six in my gm i i need very clear this is a conditional heal if he touches
me down there i'm going to strike him and i need to know i need to know on behalf of the player
orin i'm sorry zorin the bear not orin the former bear if he's going to play this game
what's it gonna be what's it gonna be what is happening chat hey speaker if you're watching
you're missing out on something really special right
i'm gonna i'm gonna roll a 1d4 on an odds i touch your little grippers here we go
oh not as good first it's on i touch them what you gonna do what you gonna do let's see what do i
have whatever you need okay uh i'm gonna strike you with the mossy mace he's rotten you goobus
oh shit i'll actually kill him oh my god no no you're committed let's do it
we actually kill a character we have to like god mode him out of here let's do it we're gonna kill
him prepared for the death you've earned little man what stop touching my feet now oh i saw that
that's a 31. jesus christ okay i have a question oh god do you allow the bug bonus on volok because if
so did we're going to get a bug bonus so it would be a crit
what are you trying to die why are you alfaboo saying this why are you like
first and i would like to be heard more there must always be alfaboo sir no no no thurston you know
what as as a code dm for this uh i can't allow it
jesus what a hostile takeover the sessions become
we are we are so out of control and we are sick with delirium i'm trying to heal everybody you're
all resisting you don't have to touch my fucking tootsies bro
i gotta heal you some way maybe your cuts are down there hang on i got a perfect voice
monster hang on i got something for this show me
hey
stop
hey hey okay okay allow me allow me to to step in here and bring some sanity uh ruhua you do crit
because based on the types of actions that orin is currently undertaking i would declare him flat
footed
fuck you
i gotta go
you're so lucky soul bossa nova is copyrighted or we'd be knee deep in austin powers right now
i'm gonna cry okay okay please uh please please uh roll the critical damage ruhua
oh sure absolutely please crit please crit orin immediately oh it just kills him i mean you rolled
pretty big dog fuck you get you get fucking you get slammed in the fucking gut just long rest
yeah i was about to say like we're doing this all day that it's like actually why don't we just sleep
for like eight hours and use all our healing yeah that seems legit no because we have limited time
i wanna we need to make efficient use of our time which is why i was offering to use the potions
because it'd be quicker but then we did worm it's okay it's okay orin did you learn your lesson now
you hit him with the mace so hard it goes oh brain damage
i'm stopping that bit right now
not the orin concussion or in concussion it's fine i'll i'll heal him here let me expend heal on him
all right here hold on yeah let's take a long rest let's take a long rest i'm not gonna take a long rest
if everyone can uh i just wanna heal everyone so we can go there we're all low enough that i think a
long rest is warranted at this point let's all long rest let's get our spells back
and like victor destroys your spa with a cabin
no
okay i'm gonna have no control over this let's play the game i'm sorry that made anyone mad we got the
bits out got our giggles out i don't know that no i'm still delirious and my skull still hurts oh i
still have to crush him to death with my heal spell all right so rest for the night is that
correct yeah i'm sleeping i'm sleeping top left of your character if i do that i think he takes wounded
away so i'm gonna you hurt me again thurston what the fuck okay okay there i'm healing you all to
full why thank you because it's assumed that orin's gonna spa bath you into usefulness i feed you all the
candied bugs yeah yeah we're crunching we're munching now while they're doing that can i please take an
opportunity to inspect the perimeter of this area of the lake yeah absolutely thank you for for for
wanting to investigate this this unique i was trying to do it that old time you
oh that's all i'm sorry you were too busy you were too busy trying to expand our audience
make one yummers check for bug munchery yummers dude
yummers you want to give me a perception check may i please
i don't know thurston can i yeah you can okay i'm rolling it i'll give you a goddamn
fucking 28 okay so yeah um the periphery of this this lake is it's it's fairly expansive but it seems to be
clustered around this structure here which as you you look into it you can see is um is is some type
of church uh that you can see the faint outline through the water and some of the muck of um the
symbol of the first house and several like wooden tables that appear to be chewed through um on one of
the tables you can see that underneath it there appears to be a lock box that is not touched by any
of this um but the the that looks like the inside has generally been well tended to as much as it can
be tended to for being in literal acid the fact the structure hasn't completely dissolved and that there's
wood in there that hasn't completely dissolved is also a surprise to you um just from some of the
strength of the this acid that you've seen uh you you patrol around there's several uh religious
symbols that you're you're noticing um but you would need to give me a religion check to properly
id that's not my bag so that's fair but you you you would spot them and like be able to point them out
or whatnot so real quick how what is the strength of this acid roughly is it stronger than an alchemist
acid flask on par weaker what it's it's on par however like anything there's a difference between
like a flask and full immersion right so if you were to like go into this thing it would be doing
massive damage to you well i wasn't about to suggest that i'd go into it yeah yeah but i'm giving you
like a sense of like it's it's probably on par with like a like lesser ish uh i wanted to
take the walking cauldron very briefly and you know just gently dip a little bit of it in the
acid to see if it resists it or is like no because if it's like no i'll pull it out of the acid immediately
all right so you're asking your little cauldron buddy to walk up and like
dip in toe the water no no just just put an item in there my little friend
okay okay okay it it like jauntily steps up clang clang clang clang clang it's metal feet um
going into some of the the stone here and then into the the the sand where it gets a bit like
baldrick is keeping a close eye on it he's not like letting it get too far away from him yeah yeah
i don't think you can bullshit me out of my fucking cauldron no no no no no no no it's like dipping its
head in and there's like a slight sizzling sound but it doesn't seem to affect the the the cauldron
like it looks like the cauldron can hold this my okay so it can hold it the question is can it be
immersed in it um you could tell that like full immersion might be a bit too much for this thing
like as it's kind of getting closer like you can see they're sizzling but it's like able to put it
inside itself and it seems to hold that just fine but like full immersion might be
might then i will happily let the cauldron fill itself up with acid and we will continue on the road
okay
are you pointing out any of the things you saw or yeah baldrick is kind of just
getting a general he's squinting through his helmet at the various structures and whatnot
um primarily like i'm assuming by the way that because this is blue that it's not actually like
blue it's like submerged under the acid yeah yeah yeah it's it's more to just give a sense of depth
here it's it's kind of got like a clear sort of appearance so from what i can tell from over here
at least there is a structure buried under all this acid looks like a
church of the first house or something to that effect it's looking like it's been under there but
the acid's not destroying the building as it stands and also thinking i'm seeing something on one of those
tables it uh kind of looks like a lockbox so presumably whoever this fool was who decided to
pick a fight with the saucers and then drown in the lake of acid was probably going for that
and i'm assuming that the ring he had was what was protecting him from the acid
one can assume so when we get it back which i'm going to suggest that we do so we can
call this area done foot done with is we head to wherever these saucers came from get the ring back
however we do that and well volly do you feel like going for a swim well i'm much more of a an aerial
woman myself more than a swimmer but i've swam before i say peeking at people's proficiencies
oran raises his hand and says i could shapeshift that might work better we'll see
and i can do that right and a ring that renders you immune to acid i feel like might be useful in
tracking down uh you know the rest of what we've got going on especially if there are more acid lakes
it would be but i can't be certain about that all i know is i don't want to let the birds have it
do um can we see the ring for when we're at or we're just assuming it's there
well you're you're assuming that the saw well the the sawsaurus have
basically run off with the ring okay like they they ripped it off the guy's finger and left him
to die and watched and then we're like we'll bring it back to our king in the forest okay sorry i forgot
the detail yeah yeah yeah yeah sorry i'm stupid all right yeah let's go get it all right well let's
go find a sawsaurer king i still have a grudge after last time so i'm i'm i'm here for punching a few
more granted uh will it end up as much of a you know situation as last time is there any way we could
assassinate this king and be done with it i assume we're all walking away at this point heading over
like oh body i think it's gonna be absolutely fine it's like camera angle and it's all back shot
gripping his shoulders oren if i have to die again and it's to one of those
fucking birds and you just have to end me that's the end of it i'll find the maw valley and i'll kill
them and the women and the children saucers too i i i give him a hug and i pat his little head
that's good that's good oran that's good i first sanded him okay
okay us to the map yeah um i'm sorry we can tone it down if you here's some energy but we're going
we're we're moving we're moving into the rainbow forest zone oh the gay rights woods
just all right for anyone listening or watching look up the youtube video song bear force one as we
go in oh god oh my god that's a fucking throwback thank you i i really want to do that commander deck
for magic um just just saying okay okay okay okay okay so yeah we're uh we're making our way
we're making our way um all right you you travel away from the the acid uh the acid lake making your
way now to the southeast instead of um to the southwest it's about another two days of travel
from where you are to enter into the periphery of this forested region as you do so you can see the
kaleidoscopic light bursting out from within uh however as you reach the forest you can tell that
it is not a standard forest along with like various trees the the ground actually takes on a fairly rocky
appearance here um there are several paths that just look to be rocks that have been smashed together
giving you a bit more of a firmer path than you're used to in the solitude there's trees of all
varieties here and actually as you you enter in there's there's colors like you you see like
lighter browns reddish browns greens um kind of tans but then as you carry on further in there
like large mushrooms some of them like literally large size like 10 feet um from from their tops
in diameter and as you walk around the area like almost has this life to it um though the sky above
is is covered um by by trees by some of these these large fungi uh so there isn't much light coming in
and in fact the the skies above go back to their sort of cloudy nature um and there's there's not quite a
drizzle here but the air sort of has just a just an ongoing feel to it as as you're walking through
like there's a heaviness here um but you can also see in the air there's like little little like pricks
of light probably some form of natural insect um as you are traveling through this area how do you intend
to like find the king as you walk into this uh this forest where you believe him to be
huh that is a good ass question what is our plan for interfacing with this king
i mean they're fey so we probably have to do something kind of tricky to get there
either that or we have to offer them something
do we have anything we could offer this lot that they would exchange for a ring
we can offer them glove talk no we can't offer them glove talk we left him at home
no it's it's in you no no it's not we left him at home we didn't want him to get hurt
did we leave him yes i remember i took him out oh that's right what else you got in there
what else i i i do have turn looks around nervously
let's see let's let me look in my inventory um he's gonna reach one of his hands into his orb just
the orb of dubious physical qualities um i can pull out the hat of disguisey that would be a pretty
fascinating thing to offer him in exchange for the object that is true um
actually push comes to shove i do have two of the dagger pistols from the martinet they're both really
good but i really only ever use one at a time baldrick looks at the hat of disguise for a moment
and looks in the consumables that we have as well the very the potion wreck that he has inside of his coat
and he notices the potion of flying looks back to the hat of disguise then back to the potion of flying
hey volley uh-huh how dexterous would you say you are oh the most dexterous ain't nobody more dexterous
than captain volley why would you like to disguise yourself as a very large sawsore oh
oh the the problem is guys it has to be the shape of the person yeah oh okay yeah like you can use
it to turn into another human but you can't like use it to like ah i'm a tentacle monster or a owl
unless we turn her can we turn her into us we turn into a strix that actually no no no
follower is a good point could i technically shapeshift into a saucer i've had experience with
them i'll declare it yeah yeah sure you could you could like shapeshift into like they're fey
but i'll give it to you sure you can narratively declare that shit wait wait hold on hold on
before you use a narrative declaration if you're not fey they could probably tell you're not fey
well how do i look fey i mean fey is like a thing that you are rather than a thing that you look like
oh oh okay molly do you have experience with this um well i mean i am from the sky
that doesn't make you a fave that just makes you airborne well so so you're saying that there's
gonna be some of them saucers here yes picture that's what we've been saying they're terrifying
you know i heard i heard one of them came to came to my village once lit four buildings on fire just
from a flick of their finger ah i think they can do that then perhaps we take the uh magnanimous approach
we walk up to the saucer king we say oh great and gracious king we come bearing a gift for you
but we wish to exchange you know something like that uh thurston am i still using my remaining
alchemical charges you'd have a whole after your rest here you're restocked back to full oh so my my
old stuff is gone yeah yeah your your once per day stuff is gone you you would just recreate what
you want for the day okay uh so in that case i would like to uh say that while we are discussing all
this on route to the thing uh i would like to use three of my uh alchemical things my you know infused
reagents uh of which i have it is my level plus my bonus correct so that would be six plus four so
ten so i would like to use three of them to create nine coring charges okay
ring charges interesting you can find those in the baldrick's guide to grabilla alchemy
no actually i'll make it i'll do four and i'll have 12. okay so i'm gonna throw 12 coring charges into
my inventory so like you're coming into this forest while literally just making a bunch of demolition
charges correct okay hey baldrick what are those for uh contingency plan
you know what can't blame you there
so i'm i'm just a bit confused you're saying they have a king apparently
i always i always thought being a sawsaurer was about what your blood had in it
what blood yeah what do you mean
well like you know what your bloodline was would determine if you were a sawsaurer or not
bloodline they're fey they're creatures of magic and wily mischief they're not you don't just
breed into being a sawsaurer that's not how that works that's not how science works
oh wait does that know how it works what are you guys babbling about they think that one can just
inherit being a sawsaurer of simple express traits you do not understand advanced genetic engineering
well i'm just i'm i'm just saying that that there was one of them sawsaurers that came into our village
and and threw some fire around or at least that's what i was told before my time
wait wait wait wait wait it's also was it an owl was the owl throwing fire what no
no it was an owl no it was it was it was like a person but it was a sawsaurer oh
so sorcerer this is how thirsting gets back to us
well yeah sorcerer exactly no no that's not that's not quite right victor the term is sorcerer
they're a magic user not a sawsaurer like the bladed implement sorcerers fly in the air and cause
problems for everything that is alive around them and thus we are morally impugned to completely wipe
them out here and now aren't we going to negotiate with them why no we're going to have some
prejudices no no no no no no no all right listen we're going to start this as though we are going
to entreat with them if we can trade for the damn ring we will if they start to get rowdy i can
well he kind of opens up his pack and shows off the bundle of alchemicals he's created including the
12 rather intimidating looking bundles of explosives the coring charge of which you've seen in action
a few times knowing that 12 of them would probably be enough to set a small portion of the forest on
fire oh yeah that's a good contingency simple i'll make use of you know whatever i can we'll see if
we can't get them to behave if not we don't have to deal with them anymore
as this occurs down the stoneway path you see something hopping along on the path about 60 feet
away and its head and immense eyes turn towards you
this little frog mouth creature with a saw-like protrusion in its chest turns
hoot hoot war flashbacks
he's like throwing up the flag on the top of dead saucer bodies
before everyone engages him i understand now everyone before everyone engages him in combat
baldrick is just gonna stop everyone and say hello
just stop on the head turns around and it begins hopping away from you oh that saucer had excellent
plumage i know wasn't it gorgeous yeah it was wonderful though let's keep going
uh can everyone give me a perception check please we're dead we're all dead right now
i'll blow up it'll be enrolled in eight for a total of 22. i like how someone knocked my dice to make
it a 20. can i keep that instead no 19. that's how it works right 21. that's not how it works at all okay
um as you carry on down down these pathways um following following in the the steps of the uh the
the saucer that was at the end of the far end of the path and you followed after as you carry on the
fungal blooms uh take on a more congested appearance here uh some of them groaning in and
out of each other um oren you however notice there are several pairs of eyes in fact dozens of pairs
of eyes large round
exactly like a saucer eyes staring at you from all angles of the forest from within the trees from
behind some of the fungal blooms and yeah you guess there are dozens of these frogmouth creatures
watching you as you venture deeper into this forested area
may i i i kind of whisper everyone going they know we're here they're everywhere they're in the
under the trees yeah that's the point here it's their woods can i roll a nature check to see if i
could determine what is the sorcerer's favorite snack absolutely excellent please pray for me
damn it i rolled the 20 okay or six the total of 20 yeah for for a total of 20 it's not bad uh you
know that their favorite snack is uh the suffering of humanoids
as fey they take particular delight and they get their their greatest enjoyment out of making other
people suffer well obviously the player characters aren't going to suffer today thank goodness we
have an expendable wow are you with that do you maneuver pick turn to the front of the party wait wait
wait hold on hold on we can spin this if pick turn just starts like making us suffer while the
saucers are watching they may think it's funny funny enough to let us leave like he just has to
spout both stories and puns that's why are we suddenly why are we suddenly giving up why are we suddenly losers
listen if it's between fighting like multiple dozen saucers and letting pick turn just go to
fucking town with puns and stories i'm gonna pick the ladder we can blow them up all of them at once
i have 12 of these we won't get we wait maybe we won't kill them all but we'll kill enough of them
to make sure that they are scared we don't have to succumb we have to get there first before we
fucking suicide bond them that's how that i want to ask everyone are we saying this in character
because yeah no no i'm just flabbergasted at our players uh auren will we'll try to whisper do you
want me to roll a stealth check to try to successfully whisper against the thousands watching us okay i have
a flisting installed here we go yeah i rolled a three for a six okay so why did you say that you're
still pretty loud but what do you say what do you what do you tell your companions because i'm being
fair the funny hee hee rolls make a fun time i'll kill you what are you what are you saying auren
he comes up he comes up with the volume practically i mean pretty much saying your plan in character now
but going like well maybe if the saucers kind of like it when when when we suffer so maybe if you
know maybe a picture and can play a song or so we can because of his beautiful music we can you know
act as if we're not having a good time or so and and put on a little little bit maybe they'll
they'll take that as a good offering volly's gonna nod all right i think i'm forming an idea
i'm gonna lean down to picturn hey picturn yeah i'm going to say this uh quietly hopefully so that
the saucers aren't like eavesdropping so i have an idea as to how we might be able to get out of this
you know well the path just goes back that way we could just walk that way
i mean it could but we have to get that but we need to get that ring okay okay and we could
possibly try to get out of it without being beset by hundreds of thousands of little angry fey
all right okay so now usually i love your stories right i love your stories i love your bagpipes but do you
have any stories can you give me can you please give me a deception yes please
it's a good thing i have a plus 14. yeah you are an expert deceiver
that's a 31 to deceive him his wide eyes look at you volley you know you were always the one who who
who did who the what the one i feel who really cares about my family where i come from and and all my
family members you know brother billy miss and jim miss and all my hand on his shoulders and everyone
and he's just like looking at you and there's like a crocodilian tear of like this bonding moment
like i'm just i'm just so glad i'm just so glad that you you vocalize that to me
right pick turn all right but we're gonna need you to do the opposite this time you know instead of
wonderful delightful stories we're going to pretend like your stories are just making us suffer
incontrollably inconsolably oh because saucers feed off of suffering so they would think it's really funny
if you tormented us possibly funny enough to let us out so keep that keep that in your back pocket
and when i give you a signal i want you to start absolutely tormenting the shit out of us oh
okay you have like what what is a song on your bag bagpipes that people just don't like to hear at parties
well um none because everyone loves everything that comes out of these he like taps okay so all of
them oh okay everybody does not say that in character this is
i'm trying to clarify wonderwall yes he plays wonderwall oh my god okay wait picturn do you know wonderwall
yes okay picturn leans back and he blows deeply into his bagpipes and goes
oh god okay so i can do wonderwall yeah when i give you the set the the the the the signal you
play wonderwall and we're gonna play it up right because we know we know you're better than wonder
wall picturn we know you're better than that okay but we gotta sell it to the game you know deep new
canonical references um it's like when we say jesus there's someone in this world that's named jesus
yeah all right so with that volley as you complete this and retake your position at the at the head of
the party um as as the diplomat um you carry on through brush um and then you find yourself emerging
from some of this brush and then and sort of the fungal blooms into a wide clearing
um the clearing itself you're gathering is maybe 50 feet across um and at the far end of it
is a large fungal bloom opposite where you are um and upon this fungal bloom
is seated what can only be the king of the sawsaurers
this immense immense figure
sits with a double set of chest bladed saws a fine fine crown a little cape claw-like feet
and is easily a huge sized creature
a full party has been assembled great green sawsaurer great king saw
great great sawsaurer great king saw
in front of him about 10 feet away is a single sawsaurer that stands on the ground wearing a small cape
it turns and looks at you as you arrive the the great king sawsaurer his majesty lets out a a rumbling
and then the small one speaks
hoot hoot his great majesty the king greets you into this
glade hoot hoot come forth and petition your case hoot hoot
bulgex pushes molly okay i understand oh great king sawsaurer i i deep i dip in a low bow kind of
flourishing my arms out to the side we are so glad to be in your presence my lord
we would like to petition you with a uh small request that is really
paltry compared to your abilities
paltry
orn dies he's rotten too
see look he suffers for you
dies of cringe
we believe that a ring has come into your possession and we believe
that we may be able to offer something of greater value in exchange for it
uh the the immense majestic sawsaurer king
and then the the the smaller one between you perks up
hoot hoot yes yes hoot hoot you can definitely give us something i have something specifically in
mind hoot hoot it like turns on its feet slightly like like almost comically like a like a car
that's reorienting itself because this this mauled sawsaurer is not used to not flying
and it points its eyes staring directly at rahula
hoot hoot thought i'd forget you hoot hoot
oh how could i forget you after our wonderful dalliance
was it so long ago really hoot hoot you're trekking through a swamp like a bunch of bitches
and i'm a vizier now hoot hoot
uh i'm so happy for your career advancement hoot hoot i speak for the king you speak for no one
you have to have her speak hoot hoot oh hey i'm good at speaking horn grabs rahula's arm be strong
be strong rahula will lean down to vali and as quietly as he can
yes well he told them such nice things i only have strong 25 feet away
yep so he's just gonna screen his neck 25 feet
what happens is he like leans over he goes we're gonna be talking about the penis zooms in
hoot hoot give us the tree so we can piss in it and then we'll give you the ring hoot hoot
well i'm afraid that he's not for sale my friend but really why would you want uh
all right he says we want the fucking tree
i'm going to look at the king well dear magnanimous king you would let your vizier
impose your will like this this tree has done nothing to slight you he's simply projecting his
own vendetta onto you dear king the orange gas like it's a huge surprise
hoot hoot don't you dare he waddles towards you the little vizier with his cape
dude is there a check that she can make but oh you already did it that's a big one yeah
right i mean uh that deception was for picturing yeah that was for picturing you can you can however
give me a diplomacy check diplomacy is it yes oh yes oh that's not as good as my deception i'm much
better at talking to people about it uh yeah i know i'm sorry who is our diplomat me it's molly
i like how you have no face to question it it's still a plus 12. i'm better at talking people but
make an exception just don't let orrin talk he's got a minus one that's a 21. do i want to roll to
see if i can get that better but 21 is still pretty good you can ask thurston if it'll work
i don't know am i am i allowed to do that before i reroll it that's that's mitigating pretty bad
yeah you gotta you gotta decide if you want to hero point it but it could be worse too it could be
worse is the problem yeah you have already failed you literally have a 50 chance of it getting better
that is true and i could just turn everyone against this little fucking guy
that would be funny very much for that so please all right uh i'll peer pressure uh hero point it
hey hey there you go yeah that's a 31.
it's like you you hear them switching over now to like a a series of hoots that uh is sylvan
if any of you speak sylvan nope uh do i speak sylvan let me uh i might no i have elven
really big question we haven't messed with languages for so long i don't know if some of us have it
written down no we don't i don't i have common and stricts okay kanrazu
elven to point out orange intellect is minus one so i have eight intellects i ain't getting any
languages for forever so they they they speak in a in a series of hoots
um at which point the king's immense beak descends
um and um smashes into the sauce order
uh doing 60 points of damage and utterly annihilating the saucer as he consumes it
the vizier crunches and breaks
uh hard will good damage my lord you wrote wonderful my lord you sproyset sorcerer in twain
that's politics
you should have warned the kid you'd get eaten alive out there
well he just hooted again
he did just hoot again
to help understand him i have a question thurston yes yes would while empathy be applicable here
no not in this case darn it okay you're on your own good luck
oh no yeah i guess they're not proper animals
uh yeah i'm going to uh dip in another low bow before the king and just
excellent choice my lord it pained my heart to see him speak for you that way
uh would anybody else be willing to uh translate for the king for us so that we may communicate
he begins to shake slightly as though doing a rhythmic dance
oh no is he mad
and suddenly eyes appear all around
and you start hearing as several saucers appear around the edges of the trees and on them
staring down at you
and he's not happy hoot hoot hoot he did not like you hoot hoot
oh wait then why did he kill him
hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot you don't you want his ring he really likes his ring
hoot hoot hoot you better make him happy or leave you too hoot hoot thurston yes
i'm assuming i mean i know they're all looking around at us may i attempt a stealth to go into
hiding absolutely
let's see
stealth go
and i'm not going to do an assurance that would not be effective enough
go
i will give you a 28. uh yeah you absolutely go stealth
okay uh while they're all bickering may i stealthily begin placing some charges around
yeah
as uh as baldrick's doing that oren wants to kind of tug pick turn with him and going picture the plan
picture the plan he will just go up to volley with his little feet going
and going up the coming up the volley going well we have to do the offering the offering the
the thing that we're going to do yeah yeah yeah you know you you you should all hear about my
stories uh let me tell you about uh the time hold up picture hold up when i um we have to offer it
first we have to offer it first big turn wait you're cute man i should have planned this better
i just we did play this we told you to wait for the sign
we gave you specific instructions the plan he said picture the plan while they're all comedically
freaking out i'm attaching i'm not i'm not activating them but i am attaching
i'm attaching one to this tree okay all right
it's a valley uh uh perhaps a performance for you my king a recitation of a story from our good
friend picturn along with uh music okay and our suffering for the ring no no sell the suffering
he's gonna walk up he's gonna do it we're just gonna ah hard sell it you know right okay okay um
so there there i was you know back home with my brother says one word i want to immediately fall to
my knees and like my head is exploding from his words like you're like well
uh you want to give me uh you want to give me a deception check can i do a performance i mean
they're both the same it doesn't yeah sure sure give me a performance check i have a minus one to
this so good oh no this is great i rolled a five oh no can i can i can i can i mercy roll a survival
because i'm trying to survive right now oh my god no that's not how skills work thurston how do i do
your hero point um if you if you go on the left hand's menu there's i think a little i don't know
if you have access to do it though are you putting another one here yeah i'm putting one of them
to explain i hero pointed my wall and got a natural one because i have a minus one i literally rolled a
zero so do with me as you will i'm actually suffering i'm gonna pull up the old complications
here one sec i guess it's actually suffering now throw out his back yeah
yeah i don't i don't i don't think i can help with this one i'm just like i could i could save a five
i can't save a zero yeah um let's see here i ruined it i don't know if you wonder wall i'm
hoping yeah yeah i'm hoping i'm hoping that this one wasn't used on your show but um i'm gonna use
this one uh here this is uh from portal jumper 339 uh the fuck did you just say to me when interacting
with an npc the player makes a hideous social faux pas immediately rendering that npc hostile towards them
oh
as you like i i'm gonna leave it up to you too as you're like doing this performance what you say
that offends this king oh god i think i'm gonna insult this all my head damn it
what the hell are you saying to me huh you little pudgy turkey little bastard huh you want to fight
you want to go i can fly and you can only sink you little bastard you little stupid
pick turn backs off you stupid i'm gonna beat you up you little stupid and your mother
as you say all of this the words pudgy make the king descend from its perch we got three bombs please
now oh you can't even fly now and now you're up now you're up now you're up now you are you doing
well one sec i'm uh we're just we're this is okay um erindel you rolled really well on your stealth
check i'm just gonna give you that for initiative if i can get the rest of you to uh to roll perception
because um shit's real now um uh oh hey hey i need a i need a i need a reference before anything
else uh how does it feel to be rotten too i just need to know you'll you'll find out very soon don't
worry damn i was just about to fucking ask you that uh could i thurston perhaps convince you uh to let me
use deception for my yeah yeah absolutely absolutely yeah you can use deception for your initiative
here that makes sense what yeah because i've been deceiving him yeah yeah yeah she's been playing
along with uh with the gambit absolutely okay okay 24 all right all right we got three bombs
you can see that the king is about ready to uh to to be aggressive um what are you going to do
uh seeing that the king is about ready to be aggressive bb aggressive bb aggressive yeah uh
rahua is going to look into the king's beady ugly little eyes and pick up on the unsalvageable social
situation and kareena's head back you know my friend is awful right you are pudgy you are
probably disgusting turging oozing with not live in my world i think you should really think on that
and i'm going to cast crisis of faith okay turn into love to your god for a second you should kill
yourself now now holy shit okay hey you see 2020 it's hurt you see 22 will save
oh it was so close oh it was almost a three on my screen oh no oh you like you you might have had
him you would have had that three had you not called him pushy again his head turns
you have one action left
uh hey i didn't i didn't think i was gonna get that far so uh
uh yeah it's gonna yeah just kind of steroid inside here i'm just gonna relocate yeah thanks oren
save hit the reload aren't you supposed to be the take
roo's like nope i'm out you got all right in front man yeah i know but
i don't know you kind of deserve this one oh what hey
god the balance is the song and it pisses me off gets it so loud randomly anyway this
visit consider this a learning experience or in okay is that where you're moving it is i'm trying
to find my the learning experience for oren is don't perform oren you're up all right
yeah it's oren then baltrak yeah what the hell yeah i i have improved initiative and enrolled good so
yeah even with your natural 20 like you it's still the math um oh god
jesus uh you know all right body it's time it will just slap you
slap your shoulder and cast haste upon you
and he'll basically go good luck i'm fast as fuck huh
what do you mean good luck oren what do you mean good luck
he's like we're about to be in a world of pain and uh i have that at that when we saw the the king
descend uh did you fly or did he just fall he he waddled off oh cool he can't fly so
oh it's gotta gotta back her up i have to make a decision which way i want to go i want to go
closer to the uh let's see let me go closer to bodger's core and george here and he's gonna spend all
this movement getting out of there good luck yeah i mean i can still support you from back here but
if i get hit with the 60 points of damage it ain't gonna be good so what am i supposed to do
it won't do it for me either your melee i'll remember this if i die or remember chat you
too could have a have a secondary damage tank if you unlock the tanhouser dlc
these dps okay so uh that'll be in that'll be end of warren's turn okay baltic you're up
so i'm am i still in stealth yeah okay i want to ask you something we said that we can't throw
the coring charge as a bomb unless you do a narrative declaration like as an active attack weapon
yeah may i still slide an undetonatable coring charge to like a position yes but remember you
have to inject catalyst to activate it right i know i know i'm trying to get them in position okay gay
absolutely yeah yeah in that case i would like to first and foremost i'm gonna down a quicksilver
mutagen okay uh i use it could you give me the effect yeah thank you all right and what are you
doing next as i pull this up okay uh my next move will be to slide a coring charge just over here
it's on the 30 foot range i just want to slide i don't want to break it i just want to like
it's padded enough for the most part and they're kind of meant to be sturdy enough so i'm not trying
to break it i'm just trying to get it give me give me a give me like a bomb attack roll just to you got
it uh draw and strike i guess yeah yeah exactly yeah yeah because it's not uh fantastic but i'll go
oh god damn it why did i make all these bombs i'm not gonna get to i should never plan i should just
never work it's work i know you were trying to batman it but it got escalated i was trying to buy
you time but i also roll a natural one so yeah maybe we should have had volley do the performance first
um or something okay
do you have a hero point i can't hear a point it's a nat one oh
wait oh okay okay okay okay
um
okay i think i've got one here i think i've got one this is appropriate um it's entitled
uh god damn it alphabusa we're gonna this one from nat natacomb
uh alphabusa a a mysterious spirit of the world of tyne demands his tribute of blood or mental pain
um the next damage that you do uh or would try to do goes to yourself so in this case i'm going to
say as you were trying to get this courting charge ready you uh make a new strike roll against yourself
this is fucking terrific i'm gonna die to self damage because this thing does so much damage
we'll see if you can hit yourself first oh no no don't worry it'll miss okay okay okay okay okay
okay so you're gonna you're gonna take um some some splash damage from this um just your regular bomb
splash damage so i think it's just um yeah but now i'm fucking closed four plus your like initiative as
this thing goes off with a detonation bang um but it's not like a like it's not the full thing you
haven't quite uh injected enough but there is some some strong um swedish laughing in the background
uh a haunting dirge uh even though this isn't even remotely his fault six points for that um
and i believe that's your turn uh is it i only use two actions uh oh yeah i guess because you had well
did you have the coring charge yeah you would have had the coring charge out so you were holding
a quicksilver and well i can drag you quick draw remember oh yeah that's right yeah so you do have
one left yeah of course all right with that is my stealth fucking ruin
i mean they haven't quite spotted you yet so you still have stealth right now but you could
make a new check if you want to and like stealth move to keep hidden i would like to okay
in that case i'm going to attempt to stealth move oh wait so i have the quicksilver so i can
i'm just gonna put the effect up because i've forgotten what it does totally so
i get additional 10 foot so i'm going to attempt a stealth move to there
give me a check applause still go oh there you go yeah 32 19. all right put me there please
as you like there's a slight bump and then you you sneak on past uh okay four coring charge is one of
which is bust so oran yeah one of the saucers glides down from its perch i see who toot running
where are you who toot scaredy pants are you your face is mine and it tries to beak you
that misses you and then it tries to saw you
and it misses you okay cool fail bird it's my face it's my face
pick turns squelchfoot seeing the way things are going
moves to here rushing behind you volley you did your best pick turn
and uh pick turn begins an inspiring tune wonder as he plays his pipes and inspires each of you
to make it easier on you uh you want to click and spark or i think i could toggle it on and off myself
oh i think i have i think i put it on you right no you did i'm just so i could oh okay yeah that's
save you time that's fair i can i could do that yeah click the spell i think i can drag that effect
on my hot bar and then i can just go every time there you go oh cool um but uh okay uh so that was
pick turn volley you're up oh deary me uh so what what's the uh the range on the coring charges baldrick
will it get this little fucker um it will not get him i believe they have a standard blast radius
but they just do an insane amount of damage right what's the standard last radius five feet ten feet
it is ten feet ten feet because i think it goes to about there yeah if i stand like here
you'll be fine because i'm placing one right here which will put yeah 15. okay uh because i was gonna uh
do my little fucking fire blast um hopefully hitting the king and another sawsaur or i could
jump over here and just annihilate a line of them uh in fact i believe that is the smartest thing to
do right now uh for who to fight them yes good no good bear in mind by the way the coring charge
is not going to deal its direct damage to these guys unless i attach it to them which i'm not
doing i'm doing something else okay um maybe save the last one so you know what i'm doing orange
plans to stay behind try not to get destroyed by big boss and can consistently heal you guys the best
he can and if you don't need healing he's going to start electric arcing and trying to aoing these guys
right i suppose in that case uh volley's best uh best course of action is to just start dpsing the
king uh so i'm gonna do that um i'm going to go i want to ask and i just want to make sure this
happens because we didn't take a break last time it's 5 30 now at some point do we want to take a
quick break yeah let's uh let's let's get through uh volley's action because she's the last player to go
and then we can get attacked by birds yeah and then i'll hit you with a shit ton of birds
that's why we can die on the next turn yeah yeah um i'm going to uh tumble through for my first action
okay and i believe they can get me like here okay yeah give me give me give me the check to see if you
make it yeah let's see if i make it there um there it is uh acrobatics let's go oh that's not the best
but not the worst that's a 22.
ah you bounce off of his his uh girthiness trying to get around him all right that was my first action
i have three more yes um in that case ah making him flat-footed i'm just gonna do a backflip to get
my quick panache okay i'm gonna backflip in front of him uh and see if i can't do this yeah okay well
that one would have gone through whatever uh c'est la vie uh getting uh and then i'm gonna hit him
with a finisher okay
put the rapier leaving you stab stab his ass you will hit us hit all right damage
that was okay that's 20 points of damage he takes 20 points and uh
all right and then i am going to with my last bit of movement retreat back a bit
and make him work for it okay that'll be my turn
okay cool cool cool let's uh how about we take our break here before i come at you with a bunch
of birds also remember you have quicken so you could attack one more time before you leave no no
no she she did count the the extraction because it was move buff attack run yeah okay my bad my bad
okay all right we'll be right back so we use the bathroom and stuff like that chat we'll be right back
we'll be right back for more don't go anywhere we'll see if we all survive goodbye
and we're back welcome we're here to suffer i think it is now one of the uh on the sorcerer's turn
we return to a flurry of burbs oh hoot hoot as it were
one of them flies very very very very far south of its position flying behind you rahua
oh
which sets up a perfect flank for our boy of course it does
who waddles up all so slowly his immense bulk shaking the ground with each step
it turns on one of its one of its feet towards you looking down at you rahua
and then
it unleashes with its kingly beak
you are flat-footed right now against it
of course
you should do it all naturally
oh of course you roll an actual 20.
no
welcome back chat i'm dead woodpecker moments
very good chat that i i'm drinking a sodium
isn't that funny how the gm rolls crits multiple times
oh no crits he brought 42
oh
fuck you
that's great
hi it's fine he's fine
yeah he smashes you with his beak
like cracking your your wooden construct form trying to reach to the gooey black orb that is your real
essence your your body breaks and then he backs up and for what should be a third action he instead
just stands there panting to himself slightly
oh he's winded
he has a special rule called describe it to me which means he is permanently slowed one
so he has taken his actions
another burb
flies out towards you volley
hey hey hey it attempts to hit you with its saw
it critically misses volley
i'm gonna hit it you get a thing you get a thing
i i get a thing
you get a thing you get a thing you get a thing you get a thing you get a thing you get a thing
oh it does hit it does hit
yeah
13 damage cool yeah oh wow yeah it's it's messed up
um so that's its go
this one flies up uh over to you rahua and attempts to saw you
it will fail to hit you good okay okay okay
these guys were a lot scarier at level two it's very true
it's uh not not good i don't like that oh well we'll do six points of damage to pick turn
oh yeah pick turn suffered pick turn suffered okay yeah it's flank picked turn with the other
saucer bird be compared i am the saucers descend like like i saw that one lord you're a piece of crap
with the flank that will hit pick turn
flank
flank do four damage
uh then another saucer he doesn't see me i'm too stealthy does not so it's
it takes three actions to fly over behind you volley oh who's flanked yeah you are and then the last
one does an attack on picture this one this one however will not get the flat-footed bonus
and will miss pick turn so this swarm of saucers descends down with the battlefield
um well you know a mass of them i should say uh rahua you're up yes
um it's for ball dream for you to activate your carring chairs you have to physically be right by
them or can you do it remotely i have to do it when i'm right by them yeah but that's why i took the
quicksilver so i can quickly run from where i'm at to this one to that one to that one would you like
us to try to run past the two that's on the bottom left and we could try to get them all in a big explosion
well i wanted to run this past thurston before i narratively declared and have him shoot me down
immediately wow my narrative declaration when i have the opportunity thurston is i'm going to set up
all of these to blow up and then i would like to ask if the birds can all make some will saves to not
run away uh from your cool dude's explosion yeah i i i respect this i will allow that way we can
just deal with the king instead of being sworn yeah okay but this will do for my thing and i'm
sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i had to get that kind of out of the way
that's fine that's it's okay you know it's not okay actually but
what the fuck i it's calling my screen it's zoomed in too far i'm sorry
oh man this is uh it's uh this does not look very good here uh
it's i can definitely wipe out at least a line of them by next uh turn like these
fucking dudes man i wish i could make roll a hero point to make you fail your saves but i can't
it's not so i'm not i'm going to attempt to move the king okay
through my broken and straining form i reach out my arms perhaps feebly
and attempt to expel a wall of force as i cast bone shaker oh
oh his bones his bones well not his bones and i'm going to try and cast that give me that spell
i'm going to try and cast it heightened okay
ask the spell so i can see what it does there we go good okay yeah oh yeah yeah that's right
height height yeah okay okay dc 22 here we go
he will succeed but he will steal he still takes half damage so uh and you can move the target up to
three feet or up to five feet i should say the three feet that we cannot measure on this surface
true but roll me damage please
i think i have an additional plus because of the height yeah yeah then you'd add on 3d8 more
so half of well roll me 3d8 more and then we'll see what the final number is
219 so 29 okay cool so he'll take
and then where would you like to move him like this like this this this this
i'm assuming back from you yes i'm going to send him back another okay there we go you push him back
thus taking one of his precious actions away from him good
and then i think is that was that three action or do you yeah that was oh that's right yeah
because you didn't use the three action yeah orin you're up okay it's time the king is pushed back
shaking immensely okay hold really okay or it's gonna do a two action heal over to her who uh okay
heighten that level three what you do healing gonna go home
heal over to her for a whole bunch of things for 35. holy crap yeah thank you now that's a heal
i can leave one more round of combat thank you aaron
all right but actually i have to decide what i want to do with it
um unfortunately with spells and stuff like that i can't really quite do
a lot of one action things so what i'm going to do is to keep her who are more alive
i'm hoping and also prevent him from getting flanked too horribly i'm going to spend my movement to go
right behind him so i can battlefield medicine him if i uh if i need to nice okay all right that'll
be the end of orange turn hey baldrick you're up okay so what i would like to do is i would like to
prime in place one action because of my funny quick bomber shit yeah a coring charge right there okay
i would then like to run over here okay and prime that coring charge okay
so that will be three reactions
okay and with that i am going to basically my turn there and the coring charge will not detonate
until after my next go all righty so uh yep there you go okay well we have birds then
bird burb the sawsaurer flies over to here volley and uh attempts to attack you with its saw
a little blazing uh critically missing you volley it's a new round you got the thing yeah it is
technically the start of a new round so
are you going to hit me volley are you muted volley is odo here is it has odo abandoned us there we go
sorry uh i i thought that refreshed on my turn but it's a it refreshes on the round i'm going to hit
this man do it for his insolence yes hoot hoot his insolubility 29 you'll crit him you'll crit it
okay 26 damage you murder it yeah as it flies to you and attempts to to to saw it to you and instead
you just impale your blade through this thing's face hoot as it dies welcome to the reactment of birds
it's going to get out of that mosh pit pick turn pick turn squilchfoot is going to cast a spell and
keep performing he's going to cast mirror image to create some images around himself
picture this is getting out of hand now there's now there's four pick turns playing in the bag
volley you're up uh okay um well let's see here does he cast part of inspiration on this all or
yeah yeah yeah yeah um redo my buff there you go because we have to redo it or else it doesn't apply
because it expires after every round yeah yeah i think it's in our best interest to try to tag more
than one thing here uh but no matter what if i'm trying to hit the king and some saucers i'm going
to hit one of my friends which is not ideal i kind of want to ask that you maybe focus on the king i
can't guarantee my little ploy will do anything but if you're like whittling them down while i'm trying
to do this it's just going to end up being like oh well there they all go if it's uh fair enough
oh wait why do i have panache i don't believe i refreshed no no yeah no it should be gone get it
out of here why is it not removing there it goes uh in which case i'm going to dexterously uh i don't
have enough movement to tumble through so i'm just going to tumble up to okay and do a quick little
back handspring or and or something on the way to the king
uh that's a 20. um that will like on your way up that's enough yeah absolutely all right
uh and then right up here i'm gonna hit this man with a finisher okay
okay you come up to his his great bulkiness his great girth and i'm going to poke a hole
oh
indeed
no
oh two which turns into an 18 which will
it will still miss oh dear uh do i have a hero point no i do not uh but i'd have a second
action which i'm going to use to stab him
hoot to you too i still take the map right uh yeah map map minus four because yeah yeah oh wait
no it's not agile never mind but yeah i know the the the pistol isn't agile that's right
okay there you go you'll hit with that yeah yeah there we go uh
fully hit damage the play the play you can roll like four threes in one to five
jesus why did you get that one because didn't use the finisher on the attack that missed
valley oh oh now oh yeah yeah yeah because it deals the precise down yeah oh i'm dumb as hell
but but but but i need to remind you of something very important um when you fail with a finisher
attack oh yes i still do the 3d6 deal a half your precise strike damage to the target i do the full
one now with my feet yes so uh uh in that case i'll just re-roll it in that case i actually think
the damage is the same right because like yeah yeah oh yeah it would be the same yeah it would be
the same yeah it's just done the 3d6 before and now the 2d6 plus three so yep yeah he's looking beat
the fuck up all right and then with my final move i'm just going to uh move on out of here
uh although i don't want him to hit my friend rahua actually no you're fine you're healed no
i'm going to reposition his job is to get the tank i'm going to reposition i'm here to help him
okay
oran bird yeah bird yeah i saw you
i saw that 20 i was about to scream at you bullet 22 hit you
cool i guess i'll like roll this damage oh that's nice that was max that's cool
the cool thing about saucers that makes them pretty cool is that i can just like
do this ability as a second action to just give you persistent bleed
just say the fucking game masters was max that the fucks me over i'm a fucking kid
you know kid you know um then with its last uh
uh action it will
it will just try to try to saw you again because you know good it could it could succeed
it could just not no it doesn't like it didn't
oh he's hooting he is hooting he gets to go he does get to go he struggles to
hoot like a fat kid at a buffet i no i have a thing i could do but i won't do it because it's mean
uh you know you're gonna do it you already you already you know bruto sawed me that you know
just gonna have him waddle up to here yeah
hit our good friend rahua with his uh
deadly no no with his royal saw this time uh oh yeah oh why is it so royal it's because it's big
it's a super smash move why are you crying what the fuck
why do this keep happening
uh yeah oh fucking shit
you could take the damage oh man i fucking love axe from dota 2 using his culling blade
thurston he will come up to you and begin sawing through the wood that is your form
thurston yes what we discussed the duration is one action one run one round is that one round from
that action uh yes okay uh rahua will take the damage on the chin but he'll hold up his hand as
a spectral afterimage appears next to it he'll clench his fist and the damage will abate
oh
and i'm going to be using delay consequence
okay better hope we don't get hit for worse later yeah
it's a reaction i can just do it that is true yeah but it comes back later oh no i know
that's the pro that's the problem well at least it allows me to do damage now i guess
yep yep okay that's the idea that's the big boy little boy follows up on you volley here we go
here we go poking so many so many saws so many birds
nope get out of here that will critically miss and then it'll do a second one just because
all right my panache is gone no more panache it will miss okay cool good good job i'm fast as
fuck good job boy uh next one i'm like a freaking blur here
get out uh this one will saw you again i'll attack you again
oh it's a game master abuse you can't fucking get better boots you're right there
just gonna keep clicking these attacks you know just fishing for 20s at this point you know
wanted to go oh sorry i was test rolling until i got this 20. exactly all right uh fishing
meanwhile destroy picturn's small frail body no not his body what happened thurston why where's your
loaded dice on picture why are you missing so much come on man i quit him with the first attack you
fuck i mean that was just that was a fluke you know you could cover that one you brought it on the table
wow wow hostile players yeah no kidding i'm just rolling a bunch of dice against myself for the audio
people i'm literally having them like tear into picture but not hit him with any attacks because
they're great i'm waiting for uh the comment section they're like they're like zorn is really mean to
thurston does zorn hate thurston does bruno mars is gay yeah is bruno's bar yeah oh my god
oh man there you go that'll hit you know and then for its last action it will brutal
saw you so it will definitely uh apply a bleed to you and then it will apply
good good good good good good good good that's good um and then the last one on picturn
the swarm of boys have done their job how is he not flat-footed he's flat-footed against two of them
but it still wasn't enough yeah seven seven
one one good good minus one good oh the guys were the npc okay that's right you know
you're up uh okay get them i'm gonna i i gotta go hard i gotta go hard or die hard
and one of those things is about to happen so okay what are you doing what are you doing my
my man if you are you hard i'm just gonna lay into him with the mossy mace
okay my thing would allow me to attack that's fine you know here we go yes okay two it up
hit the king nice that'll hit 32
image
minimal damage five bludgeoning half the point
is okay i i i i need to double check is it better for you to do the mossy mace or is it better for
you just to use your cantrips it's a two action cantrip so i i would be objectively getting less
actions in by using the cantrips didn't we get yeah but like but i don't i think no i think we i
think i wanted one but we didn't agree to purchase one so i can't use my pick right now and and just to
note your cantrip um your your cantrip right now as i am as i am checking it out here um i think has
a higher chance to hit and at your current level does
like what would what is it like four don't know 3d4 plus your spellcasting modifier
that's fine i'll just hit him i'll just okay i'm just i'm just checking hit him with the moss hit
him with the moss no it's fine though the moss already did its damage it's fine okay it's soft
below so now soften him up surely reeling from the below this big bloated bastard and i'm going to
now lay into him with my funny death blazer laser beam and our garage here we go yeah okay there you go
it was another 19 on the dice or 32 to hit let's go yeah that'll that'll hit here we go
oh damage yeah point
he is looking real messed up real messed up his his crown is starting to slide off of his head
all right and the turn oran i gotta assume this guy's got a garbage reflex i have to have to make a
huge assumption huge assumption that his reflex slave is very low and i got things that make people
make reflex saves it's true so so get his ass get the kill i've been debating on two spells what i'm
trying to see okay this is a 10 i need to i need to do a measurement sorry okay that's five ten would
you say that would hit the king uh yes okay i have to i have to check with it so basically whenever i
leveled at level six i had a spell uh i have a a focus spell that i acquired called powerful inhalation
but this one does a fortitude save which i'm assuming that he can withstand being that massive
that he would have a high fortitude save so it's fair you do that or i can do tempest surge
which they have to make a reflex save and a failure also is clumsy two for one round and take
persistent electricity damage but also take 1d12 electricity damage i just gotta hope and
and heighten which will be heightened it'll uh do additional 1d12 damage so we're gonna take a bet
because i could aoe and kill a bunch of sorcerers and maybe the king at the same time get like a
you know a quadruple kill and stuff so hmm hmm i'm debating because i don't think it'll
do what you're gonna do at this point like i i don't think no what anything of what i'm doing is
going to be relevant i i will do my aoe because if it does not hurt the king at least volley can secure
the kill the volume trusting on you you can get your awesome hero moment for it so i'm just doing
what i can to help so i'm hoping this also doesn't hurt everyone so creatures okay it'll be creatures
in the area will also get hit so i'll technically hurt my friends with aoe do it that means you get
to hurt picturn no picture no he's out of it sorry you have to move and then cast it
all right i'm gonna ask my friends aoe or do i just tip a surge of them and get rid of them
um because aoe i will hurt you uh valley and ruin i would be careful against for who because he's about
to get hit by consequences tm uh i i would just uh focus on either killing the king or killing one
of the the putties all right tempest surge it is buddies i spent two actions i spent two actions
to cast tempest surge over to the king the king has to make a reflex save and get better than a 22.
and as you're making the walls and stuff i'll read it you surround the foe and swirling storm
of violent winds roiling clouds and crackling lightning the storm deals one d12 i have it
heighten it so it'll be about two or three and he rolls a 22 and basically flexing and it does
fucking nothing he succeeds by zero oh my fucking boy
oh and just throw something at him oh god hey you get to these
yeah i still do the damage okay you still do the damage
i throw one d i want three d12 so it's still a lot of damage so it's 22 in total
he doesn't okay it's 11 damage okay a few things happen oh
oh no your thundercrack smashes into him and suddenly his head snaps to you orrin uh-huh
and you hear this like bass in your bones cracking
and he begins to flap his wings
and as he does he begins to slowly ascend into the air
uh-huh no way he has a phase two all of the other saucers immediately see this and as a unified
front break into the air
the king glides over to this position here where he is suddenly violently changing the winds around him
a torrent like an innumerable number of saucers burst through the woods filling the entire
area with their ilk it becomes hard to see the sheer the sheer density of saucers that now
fill the area and as this happens several of them form literally a tornado a whirlwind of saucers around their king
but some of them
manage to break off from the primary whirlwind and threaten you
very good token
all right uh so orrin you have one action left i believe
was he still at his current hp or did he uh you can't see him anymore because he is now
basically covered in a whirlwind of saucers
okay
he's gonna go behind rua
yep
actually no i'm gonna do uh because i know what this is gonna happen so i'm gonna go sorry i'm
i'm counting in a weird way here 25 movement i am it's good daddling the whole way take flat footed off me
and um yeah so i back the hell up that'll be the end of my turn let me see if i take my bleed damage
let me do a recovery check there it goes i roll the two so you're still bleeding i take my three
okay the swarm of saucers the swarm sores if you will go and uh the first one moves into your area volley
oh no she's gone
and uh it proceeds to uh to do a swarm uh attacks on you so uh give me a uh the fortitude save button
there that should i think allow you to uh um i click on it yes i clicked it it doesn't want to do
oh okay then just just make a fortitude save on your head
you take no damage from the swarm it fills your space
oh but you you are suddenly surrounded you are encompassed
by saucers that are just
fuck you and the air like it's hard to even hear anything anymore
uh the same thing happens again though this time with rahua rahua will you please give me
a fortitude save sure
i swear to god these dice don't are not allowed to roll to me refresh the page oh okay yeah you
should hear a point that you should you should hear a point that i rolled good damage
26 okay okay so so you only take half the damage right down so okay one sec wow uh half
uh and you aren't you don't take any persistent bleeding damage so that's cool all right and they
these things just like stay stay over you they are a swarm of tiny diminutive saucer if you had to
guess these are like saucer or children that have formed into massive posses to to hoot and holler at
you they aren't actually children they're just smaller saucers uh baldrick you're up okay thurston are
you ready for me to do this i'm probably not going to go for all four of these because i don't think
it'll matter please let's let's see what happens so first off i run to this one yeah
i activate it okay and then i proceed to run to here yep and narratively declare that baldrick
shouts for everyone's attention
all of the the birds stare at you much like if you zoom in on the token you will see their faces
that is that is the uh the vision that baldrick sees the the swarm saw her tokens
baldrick just sort of like extends his arms out like in a welcoming posture and says
go away and then all the bombs behind me detonate
oh that's that's epic i like it i like it okay what's uh i need a few things what's your class dc
right now my class dc is 20. okay cool i'm not even gonna assume that he'll be able to even fail
unless he rolls a one no no no no it's more i'm going to have them do will saves um with a penalty so
god i hope this does something okay one sec otherwise i've been blowing my time over here for
fucking nothing i mean that's pretty bad uh the first one critically fails the second one
let's see here
that one's better that one yeah that one will succeed but as you do this
your explosions cause all of the swarm source around volley to disperse and rather than return
to the whirlwind fuck this fuck this they fly off all of them like nope no no no no no and they
they break off um but as that happens
as as as reacting to that a new swarm comes out of the tornado that has uh has surrounds the king and
you notice as this occurs the tornado around the king looks less protective uh and whilst you can't
quite see the king exactly perfectly yet you're starting to see traces of him through through it
hmm okay so we do have to dust these things to get the tornado to go away
arandil bodrick is now the most useful person on the planet it is time for me it is time for me to explode
i mean that's my turn so you know you guys are on your own for now but yeah there you go
uh picturn continues playing the pipes and oh gosh turn buddy you gotta kill steel
what do i do wait wait hey turn help
you get up you get on and he like like like has the chanter come out of his mouth you can get
up my friend who are you you ingracious sawsaurer creatures you know i don't like any of you and
you're all stupid faced uh and as he does the air around you rahua begins to burn
this is as he casts blistering invective at them so devastating the words will deal actual damage
should they fail oh they do not oh no actually that one still has a penalty so that will actually
be a fail it's because it has a minus four penalty from uh the badass bonus of baldrick
uh so that will fail so the swarm becomes that's that um yeah and the uh
oh neat never mind um
this one is also affected by it because he can up the up the spell of it this one won't get the
penalty okay so that one's actually uh pretty pretty good it'll just take the um just take the
persistent fire damage okay which will work out okay cool uh so both of the swarms from from picturn's
diatribe burst aflame there you go um and yeah that uh that causes them to
to to to to just all be be on fire and then picturn after doing that narrows his eyes and slowly moves
his mouth to put the chanter back in and continues his uh his performance uh thus uh giving all of you
more inspiration with his bagpipes well god damn yep i will move so i can apply this to properly there we
go all right cool um but uh volley you're up okie dokie well that was pretty badass um let's see can i get a
straight shot through the king and to these guys i think i can yeah yeah i can run through the tornado
the tornado of saucers oh no that's the thing i wanted to shoot it oh yeah yeah yeah heck yeah
absolutely uh i'm going to uh take a step back ready my uh luminous dagger pistol and i'm going to shoot
a line this away through the king uh and the cloud around him and into the swarm yep absolutely
uh so they need to make me a dc 21 reflect save okay one sec
oh that will fail
all right uh does the king need to make one or is he that'll just that'll just yeah he's protected but
that basically what i'll do is i'll get you to give me some extra damage with this fair enough
all right uh so that's five d6 i will apply the weakness twice that's what i'll do ah uh 15 damage
okay so that'll do an extra 10 because of two weaknesses being applied so you'll do 25 points
of damage to that swarm causing it to like half and dissipate under the weight of your fire
uh and they will be dazzled i don't know if they can be uh they can be okay uh for one round dazzling
and blinded oh and winded nice yes i'm dead cool
all right uh yeah i'm going to uh i have two more actions not my mom uh with my last two actions i'm
going to shoot again no it's not an attack penalty oh that is true i do have the second one yeah yeah
yeah fuck it again
uh make me another dc 21
does the uh the king another save and everything no no no well because he's protected right now all
i'm doing is i'm triggering the weakness twice so it's gonna do an extra 10 instead of five damage
to represent just like the swarms here represent more the giant mass around the king right okay okay
i'm just i'm saying it out loud so everyone else is like hey he's got no health he should die you know
yep no no no no no no no no no no no no that's just pretty okay that's 18
plus another 10 because you know reasons yeah
they the swarm of birds does not look good all right i blow off the tip of my gun uh and that's my turn
uh oh yeah i'm bleeding yes you have to roll that recovery check that sweet sweet recovery check
nope nope okay so you take the three damage oh my blood you can get rid of those dead tokens
by the way to make your current track a little bit easier i could i like having them there though
i also like having a body count but it makes the list pretty long it covers the overlay a bit oh okay
see there there's practical reasons all right you're up all right uh first i need you to apply
the damage back to me because it is now last it was 55 damage yeah it was yeah so you will be at
you hear the sound of the tuba from spudgebob go ouch it would be sadder if i wasn't expecting it
but lo and behold uh i'm going to first take this moment to cast heal on myself so i cannot die
okay can you give me a roll me a d20 sure
okay good you succeed in casting your spell okay because if you rolled if you rolled under a five
then the cacophonic hooting would prevent you from casting your spell successfully oh great
who'd who'd who'd i'm sorry that was supposed to be high
i don't like this i don't like this i'm having fun
who are you i am actually don't worry i got you i'm gonna christmas
i'm gonna risk a invoking taxable opportunity but i need to go okay
so yeah i got uh i got another cool ability here of course it does as you show up next to oren
oh thank god one of your cuts slightly as you run out the spiteful sawing of these creatures
hitting you as you rush bro who was tumbling towards oren just running as fast as he can
going from perfectly fine to watching all like life wither away his shell cracks and frays
you uh you're right he's and he's got he's got a whole thing set up ready for for you and he goes
i welcome to the good healing home of the bird healing can i take your order yes i would like
one boneless healing please okay it's your turn oren it is my turn i'm going to spend a two action
heal hiding at level two on rahua having hulk you with something okay here is today oh really nice
that'll be 29 to rahua oh thank you wow awesome and i will then for my last action cat do battlefield
medicine why did i just take damage because i was applying something i missed earlier so
but not down to one hit point so oh my god
i'm going to see if no i don't think it does no okay all right basically i am rolling a because i use
my nature stuff on this instead and everything uh i'm going to roll a nature check uh thurston will
basically have uh it's it's going to be the standard dc because it's really like easy to find stuff here
okay so that'll that'll be success it'll be a 23 so that's going to be 2d8 on rahua yep i also have the
uh i have the medic thing but i don't think it's going to help me right now
okay when you succeed the battlefield medicine to target receipt regains five additional hp at dc 20 10
hp at dc 30. okay so uh five additional hp to that so a total of 10 for my battlefield medicine
sweet and that will be the end of orange turn cool i will do my recovery check for my bleed
i rolled an eight and i continue to bleed and i take two bleeding damage swarm follows
oh wait no you didn't bring that swan with you did it wait no one sec it might not follow let's play
it's uh one sec yeah there's a feeling that only gives me a plus one of like medicine checks and so
we probably need to address to see if that also goes for my nature thing or not because otherwise that
bonus is useless but it does have an action to do the thing which i plan to keep in reserve just in case
use your michael mouse gloves yeah whenever i'm done with battlefield medicine and stuff then i
then i use that for like oh you know okay um well it the the scared birds follow up here
and then as they enter into the square over you oran and rahua they perform their
their swarm so uh for some reason it's not working but if you can give me a um yeah dc 20 fortitude for
both of you absolutely i'm just gonna move him up for now oran got 31 or okay uh these flaming birds
fly into your square and do nothing to you um as they like
you follow a fat king you follow a fat king you're just as fat nerds as he is
uh and then he will take you know what i'm gonna i thought it was really really i bet you go on reddit
and then watch them all don't attack wow oh but then there's all right i was on reddit sorry we use
rock down too it's also a self-infliction don't worry yeah so uh now that i have expended my time
uh and most of i'm literally all of my alchemical things making bombs for a plan that kind of went
nowhere but it's i don't know you got rid of like a whole swarm yeah but they're not that tough
okay that guy took that guy took a bit of damage and now he's dying i'm gonna target him and throw
bombs at him okay i really hope he doesn't critically miss in the other spoon no that's what i hope it
happened no draw and throw strike 14 go go
uh that'll be a 26. you hit okay doing the damage
pretty solid 14. uh yeah but that'll actually get an additional five because they're weak
okay and deal uh four splash additional oh yeah okay they're looking the swarm that is flying over
them looks pretty beat up map minus five throwing again doing quick bombing go go go go go go go go
oh there's a there's a persistent fire damage stack or so or or gets the height more i think it just
takes the strongest one uh yeah um as long as they're different damage types of a higher amount
overwrites the lowest yeah i'm gonna re-roll with a hero 2d6 is better so okay okay you're gonna re-roll
yeah with a hero point go
worse does critical miss okay take damage i guess guys take take four
um uh predestined predestined so complication that's right i'm pulling it up i really wish i
i really wish i was just allowed to put down all these bombs
because now now i've just got like seven core sitting in my inventory that i can't do anything
with we tried man like we it's it's hard to batman sometimes i'm not batmaning shit i was just
gonna put down bombs no that's what it was you were gonna you were set up
and then we go planting landmines like any conscientious we're too efficient i'm gonna use
this complication uh from a lone d walker entitled happiness and misery gorillas can be destroyed by
landmines on forest paths the character is suddenly struck by a very realistic vision of the past
in which a happy event took place or a person who's very dear to the character appears
um they get they get confused and sees everyone sees the character sees everyone as that dear
person and is compelled to to hug them and say hi to them is um is bodrick's happy memory that all
his corning charges are in place everyone's a corning charge
i proceed to inject the catalyst into zoran's
oh god okay yeah so so yeah that's like you throw your bomb and suddenly you're just seeing like
it's this happy memory where all of your corning chuck just i mean you you can't say you can't tell
me what the happy memory no no you can you can declare what the happy memory is but that's that's
for me to know so the funny part is is even though you you critically missed there's still splash damage
here um which uh whoops oh yeah that's fine yeah no um max damage i love doing x damage to my my friends
but it does do um it does do four to them uh which i'll just mark real quick here but and uh doesn't
two fires flash damages click double when you have us highlighted oh nice okay um but it it does the
fire splash damage and actually um does more to the the swarm because it's splash damaged it's weak to
it so that's your second action so who gets the 19 oh no one that was just that was just okay
clicking by accident that was just that was just you showing me what i could have done if yeah exactly
you know alternate alternate reality where you had the cool dice
uh overtaken by the memory he looks over at volley and he approaches with a hand extended
uh baldrick i don't really know if now is the time to shake hands bud
kiddin what the hell are you talking about who kid where the hell have you been
uh uh baldrick i think you're seeing things
me volley you're late
next turn go on yeah the bagpipes continue playing as baldrick goes over and has this
strange moment and taking a break from the pipes
our boy pick turns squilchfoot turns
and unleashes a volley of magic missiles
he's doing the thing he's doing the thing he's doing the thing attack with magic
in the soil he's he's attacking um and it's taking it once so it's gonna be
sank
i gotta grab these so it makes sense
i would like to imagine picture and turns into a missile truck and fires
smashes into it with several missiles and then continues playing the pipes
um volley you're up okay i kind of gently prying her hand out of baldrick's uh volley is going to um
i'm going to rush over here about
uh
so you fucking blitz past baldrick he kind of whips around and like raises up a hand like out of
confusion goes kedden kedden where the hell are you going you just got here be right back
uh i'm going to uh as i move i'm going to tumble up to this thing make a quick acrobatics uh do my my my
dumb my dumb swash buckling yep
uh i i imagine i buckle some swash there with a 33 you absolutely do yes uh and then i'm going to uh
uh i feel like a finisher is kind of overkill here i mostly just want the extra move speed
um remember they might have resistances to your damage type so do what you can
that is true uh so i'm just going to hit this guy with a finisher sure
i'm going to see if i can't finish him as it were finish finish him use your peen dish attacks
you'll create a critical hit okay the crit won't do anything that's my most unnecessary critical
you can you can roll regular damage and subtract the precision damage because swarms are immune to
precision damage yeah uh oh wait so it just be i'll just take out the 12 so okay okay so you do nine
points to it which is enough
to destroy the swarm destroyed destroyed uh and then i still have two actions left with haste
that's my it's gonna run and stab the other swarm to death quite possibly um uh
i can't run up to it or wait yes i can actually yeah you're stupid fast i'm stupid fast you fast go
uh i'm yeah i'm just gonna just gonna stab this guy pop it pip it pop it twist it pop it don't twist
and i got twisted oh my god
time to complicate we're getting good news out of the applications today oh boy yeah we're gonna use
them all hey patrons are finally getting their money's worth they were round of the store going
where's the natural ones man here they are where are these results of random number generation that
you're supposed to promise us wait no no we're all scripted remember we have to make sure
we gotta get a quota you got it hokey get diarrhea right now yeah yeah no oh this is absolutely the
one from toad bear accidental power slide it's the most volley thing oh no
too fast the player slips while making a melee attack and into flanking position on the other side of
the wrong direction um you i'm going to say you power slide into the swarm
oh i wasn't expecting this mud as you land in the swarm with all of your friends
the fucking start of deja vu oh god and then give me a recovery check which no so you'll take four
points bleed damage cool uh you're up all right with that one swarm dead is the king now visible
uh he is he is visible now yes okay do it do it get his ass you've earned it we'll hold him off
can i actually looks like i can i love things uh
can i strike the sauce or swarm with my mace yes absolutely so to help you hokey so you don't
suffer an attack penalty or anything you can lance the hell out of the king and get your kill and
then you can melee the guys after uh is the lance an attack though
yeah yeah okay it's true it's it's it's his version of the yeah it's all it's also just remember uh you
have to make the flat check if you cast a spell while you're in the swarm that's a risk i'm willing
to take but that's fair it's your decision i'm just i'm giving you a suggestion so you know what
you can do yeah you'll suffer a multi-attack penalty if you try to lance them from where you are if you
hit first with the maze what are you doing hulk i'm gonna i'm gonna do this up let's go
for who i see his moment of opportunity the swarm is beginning to abate around him and he sees the
object of his quarry and takes a power stance rears up pulls his head back and unleashes a
roiling torrent of pure energy okay roll me of d20
well you see first of all you would have to roll a d20 to see if you could cast a spell but you rolled
a two on that d20 so you don't even cast the spell because the cacophonous hooting prevents you from
concentrating enough to cast your spell attack roll so let me use my hero point that i have yeah
absolutely this is just a flat d20 not an attack roll though so okay
okay yep you can cast the spell now now you can make an attack roll get his ass you got this you got
this you see it you see it and then you you lose it you lose it i'm i'm just
fucking furious right now i'm sorry honky i try to switch you off for a fucking awesome scene
you're trying to encourage it i'm sorry my answer is to never listen to zoran again
i had good advice it's just the dice weren't in our vans man you have an action you have an action
left do you wanna do you wanna bop them with the maze just to preserve it up
why not i'll fail i could fail this one
no i'm not gonna do anything
i feel so fucking bad i wanted i wanted to give you such an awesome moment because you
you dealt with the fucking birds at the time and all this stuff i'm like it's your chance
man it's your chance and i egged you on and you ate mud
oren
no even i don't want to attack i just want to wait a whole round and take damage so he gets a chance
it doesn't matter we have three other people who are gonna kill it beforehand oh i know it's
like fuck all right oren is going to take one step out literally the thing you said don't do that
i'll keep no i will correct you i did not tell him to step out of it i told him to be careful
because if he attacked first you have to do a multi-attack penalty he could have moved first
i said fucking nothing about moving don't put words in my mouth
if i thought about moving out of it i probably would have fucking hit him
then you would have missed the first roll anyway i'm not the bad guy
chaos the episode title oren's the bad guy
is bucket bullshit is what it is yeah it's fucking bullshit i know
all right no one's gonna step out and do the cast tempest surge of the king and hopefully end this
and the charade yeah also do uh do slashing damage on
he did you you take slashing damage as you leave the swarm
yes it's my punishment for doing nothing wrong all right i cast tempest surge lightning
towards winds clouds everything go around them and you quit with me you son of a whore
yeah that's about right i fucking quit you run the damn stream i'm going home
we're making good progress today very funny very funny jokes guys very good
the swarm is next
okay
uh bali or who uh can you give me a fortitude save please
my homes to the fucking grave
okay i will give you a natural 20. okay both of you will critically succeed yay
swarm will then move
the swarm will then die ah and as the swarm dies the full whirlwind surrounding the king abates
and as this whirlwind abates
the king flutters to the ground
and his ass and as he lands on the ground did you give him full hp put that back
he looks at you his wings coming up
oot oot truce
bruce
whoop his ass we saw his hp we're gonna whoop his i'm gonna burn
i'm gonna it's turkey his wings off turkey day kill this son of a
bitch it's late thanksgiving we're cooking i'm gonna stuff it look look i i i gotta i gotta edit
this thing after today and it might be like like a couple minutes left before our time is up
i'm okay with going another 30 minutes and whoop his ass
am i yeah okay i'm doing the thing i did before and i'm gonna target this man and throw
oh bomb okay the alchemist fire one go
you hit 26 good damaging
that's pretty damn good 15. okay you you as as the king descends uh you throw a vial it smashes
onto him how much is the extra from your uh uh uh bonus your bonus damage it is four so technically
19 in total plus whatever bonus shit you're doing plus the cool yeah you smash him with a vial and
then you hear a and you can tell he's speeding up a bit yeah yeah yeah yeah keep it up bird you
had a chance to run away now just burn through a minus five
not quite man has a phase two phase three technically and i will retreat backwards 30
feet to there okay uh he'll take a splash on that though so
oh god i wish i could move easier okay pick turn squilch foot
pick turn squilch foot's gonna play them paps a bit and uh oh god are any of you in range
no is it 30 feet yeah pick turns gonna shimmy over to buy all of you and continue playing the pipes
okay okay volley you're up oh dude oh boy am i okay i'm going to uh
i'm going to uh run up to him doing a back handspring or whatever
like i just love how how how over the course of a combat you're like i just i just do a thing i
just i just do some gymnastics okay what do you want from me volly is still flat-footed
no no no no no okay you want to take off her yeah there we go
uh that's a 22 for my acrobatics okay you're good that will yay all right uh
and then i'm going to finish him with a finisher okay hello kitty cat
all right can i get him uh no i can't
okay well technically you missed by one because you technically had inspire still up but oh well
yeah i still miss that's still going to be 3d6 question for you uh-huh that's a question for you
just so so we're aware for next time um you're okay that's why yeah okay i was gonna say your
deception could also like you could faint too which would have made him flat-footed had you yeah it would
have made him flat-footed but i i mostly am just uh uh uh i i want to attack yeah i'm going for the
panache fair enough all right all right give me the finisher damage not bad well not bad not bad
uh that that that that works for on a miss hell yeah yeah uh and then i'm going to give him one last
smack in the face for the road sure
i'm missing horribly i know i know uh and then uh i'm going to uh
kick rocks and move over here okay all right all right
taking one bleed oh god i need that recovery i keep forgetting about that
well one of these days i'll recover anyway
it flies up to here looks down at you rahua
remembering you he remembers requua and it goes with a saw hey members great i wonder if it's
going to credibly succeed no we'll just hit you well that's good yeah it's fine it's fine yeah it's
very good actually see rahua things are good see it was only 19 points of damage
then he'll because he's quickened in this phase and gets four actions instead of the two wait what
he'll use his last action no no that goes away in phase three
he'll he'll like continue sawing into you applying bleed damage to you with his last action
oh of course he will your ghost okay it's only oh also he's on fire so yeah i have to yeah he's
a fucking bird yeah so he takes fire zoom in on his face show the crowd
bad look at him he's all right it's your go the fat king loves you
oh great i'm sure he does uh
this is zoran no i can't help you i'm a terrible person of course yeah i forgot anyways uh
i remember that i i will hey i didn't say that you were a horrible person but hey you put the words
my mouth well i should do some tanking he did he takes all the saucers in phase one
as being a tank over 100 fucking damage we're doing great right now he's doing exactly what he needs to
do yes clarify this for me because again barbarian brain for cleric fonts do i it's one it's still
the same as a spell slot correct yeah yeah okay like it gives you an extra one basically so i see
so i'm gonna do battlefield medicine on myself okay i i want to heal one yeah
oh wait can you go because you've already been targeted by battlefield medicine from or
i can only do it twice on year so i yeah you're right because of my medical stuff but yeah i have
you next turn like i'm i'm dedicated to getting you healed next turn so you okay you wanna you
wanna hurt this thing if you can yeah i'm gonna just i'm gonna heighten this by one four i'm gonna
keep an archiparaging it's probably the best i can do right now well yeah and it's a cantrip so it's
automatically heightened so oh okay yeah yeah my apologies yeah here we go
24 does it hit it'll hit wow there you go there you go give me the damage
does this also have a a resistance to a certain kind of damage i thought it does
um the the king does not the swarms did so it won't matter here so it's just like you're throwing
like cutlery and rocks and all sorts of just different uh different options at the king
11 11 damage so it's a chunk
and i i mean i'll do what i can at this point because tank so yeah try and hit him yeah take
you'll take the map but whatever gotta do what i can yeah absolutely do i still have i thought because
i thought uh you can refresh the courage on me do i still have oh yeah yeah you should sorry sorry
sorry i just forgot to press the thing it because of the expiration it's a really weird thing but okay
yeah it expires but unfortunately doesn't automatically remove yeah i wish it could just not expire but yeah
21 21 will not hit it sorry damn all right that's it or and you're up
all right oh yeah and then you take seven bleed damage
cool nothing cool all right it is time to heal rahua since the soldier king already did a reaction he
doesn't get to do that again if he had some trick up his sleeve all right heighten level two uh two action
heal right on rahua big roll big roll eight and a five of the die plus 60 plus 130 healing
and i'll have to debate this in my head if i want to do healer's gloves thing or not
it's 2d6 plus seven yeah i'll do that i'll just spin one uh i'll do my i'll activate my healer's glove
yeah to basically heal rahua for 2d6 plus seven hit points so i will go
very nice that's a six four and the d6 is for a total of 17 to rahua there you go see we're back in it
i ain't heard no bell
i'm not done with you yet
oh that's gonna hope he doesn't hit me so that is the end of my turn i need to make a recovery
check for my bleed or else i'll take uh that was the end of my life i did a natural 20 so i am
out of bleed do i still take that bleed damage uh yes yeah you because yeah yeah you take the damage
uh bulgic you're up i target funny bird and i throw more grenades
left okay got up about your damn hoot hoot grenade
very useful two hero points
yeah i'll do that yeah i'll do that yeah i'm fucking generous
which we rolled here up right there you go much better that's a 33
yeah very good i will do exploding damage now and it's not bad 15 again so 19 plus whatever additional
yep so small the bluish uh and then yeah it's already persistent fired so
you have to apply a different type of persistent damage to i don't care blow up
nope that one just use the splash of four um one sec double checking something
yes is he about to blow up and act like he don't know nobody um no we are
no i i just want to double check because you might have actually crit with that first one and
i just need to double check one thing because you critting with that first one would would actually
matter uh no no no it's no no it's not that um okay no no i i was double checking because i
didn't see the item bonus from the bomb but it's because the quicksilver uh mutagen overrides
yeah i was checking to make sure the quicksilver was an item bonus that's all uh so you'll do four
with that okay and then last action oh i'm out of grenades so um there you go okay uh will you have
acid no i don't didn't you those expired thurston remember oh yeah that's right uh you got one from
the lake you have that one they have one yeah i want to make a map minus 10. that's true that is
true next time yeah yeah you can always re-add that acid to my inventory yeah pick turns gonna go
and pick turns gonna lower the paps he's gonna stop playing
cry he's gonna look at this big bird and then he's gonna start playing and magic missiles are gonna shoot
that mr classic it's the classic it's the classic anyway here's magic missile yeah you know
hey it's all over here you can't crit fail on a magic missile you can't
oh damn okay here we go yeah he's doing okay uh he actually sucks from 24 he actually will spend his uh
his he'll only do it two for um because he gets plus one because his height and then he's gonna
just uh re-inspire the lot of you again so thank you mr scotch foot he would he would acknowledge you
but he's too busy uh playing the uh the tone the the tune of animus's wedding so it's a local favorite
favorite uh volley you're up okie dokie uh well let's see if i can't do anything about this he might
be low enough um oh yeah hoot hoot to you too um i'm going to um i could attempt to tumble through
him and see if i can't get a cheeky flank i don't think i can you'd have to go here like you'd have
to tumble through him to like there uh well that's 35 feet i could do that yep oh i'm gonna
yeah i'm gonna attempt to tumble through and i'll see if i hang off let's see the best thing will you
it's always just to roll first and then move after because you that is true that is true uh
uh see what you get oh let's see what i get oh oh that's bad yep you bounce off of his belly
as he looks down with like his his beak oh all right um frame through the curse rod i great would
i can't i can't i frame uh then in that case i'm going to make a feint against him see if i can't
get him flat-footed sure deception yep ah yucky uh 23 not against his will dc nope ah christ all right
all right screw it i do a back flip why do i try anything else collapsing
it's more important that i get the panache than making two attacks the panache the panera bread
yeah i do a back flip which uh he doesn't get to be flat-footed i just do that
um so i spend three actions trying to be acrobatic you could just yeah yeah fair enough okay yep
then i'm gonna stab him okay because you're hastened yeah yeah i love being fast
i believe in you i believe ah use your attack of power
uh 32 you hit it would have crit if it was flat-footed i bet i bet i know i know
that was what i was like oh that would have crit
so close oh wait why didn't it do the finisher you didn't put the panache on i think oh damn it
just roll that that three yeah i think yeah 20 damage
and in a moment the saucer recoils back his crown falling from his head
taking onto the ground as he stumbles back hoot and as he continues to almost drunkenly back off hoot
won't hoot forget who and then he trips on his back and rather than hitting the ground he falls
through creation itself because no fey truly dies
oh oh he disappears but in the front of you floating in the air now coming up as a slight
a slight object the crown
a new essence of sorts
and i think with the acquisition of this and your defeat of the sorcerer king
we're gonna call it there all right good regicide everyone good regicide
okay i'll give him a truce we'll have some role play and zarn was like no blood
kill and baldrick's like bomb i was secretly hoping that you wouldn't do just enough damage
yeah
what matters is he's dead that's all
i put the crown on yeah oh gosh yeah he is the king now comment's still going i have the next
initiative i have to touch the crown and windfall guys
good job everyone you be you be my encounter my my silly fight some ads everyone got to be awesome
see lolly got to be awesome with like precision against the big fatty
you know that we had the tank and heel combo and then baldrick was just blowing up swarms left right
in the center you did it let's go
yeah it was here
he's in queue give him a minute yeah yeah look
he's in cuba
it's true
uh guys leslie let's get out of here thank you so much on a roshi hulky
thank you thurston for playing i'm your host so in the bear if you like what we do here
narrative declaration.com we'll have everything that you need or support us on patreon
patreon.com forward slash near-death declaration where you can also get the swabs of solitude uh
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maps tokens and cards everything you go get all that it's a patreon member and get early access to
the vods uh if you're all part of patreon as well which this should be coming up sometime tomorrow
or monday for the early vod viewers so with that thank you all so very much for watching
we love every single one of you please please stay good out there see you guys next time so long
yay have a happy holiday season everyone
it's broad animus etc
good osoo уст fuck you
i die
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