Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
The New Mom Podcast is a Christian motherhood podcast for women navigating pregnancy, postpartum, and early motherhood.
Whether you're a first-time mom, expecting, or in the middle of sleepless nights, this show offers real, honest conversations about motherhood, marriage, identity, and faith. We talk about birth stories, postpartum recovery, relationships, mental health, and trusting God through every stage of motherhood. If you're looking for encouragement, practical advice, and a reminder that you're not alone—this podcast is for you.
Our prayer is that New Mom leaves you feeling seen, strengthened, and a little more equipped for the beautiful calling of motherhood!
New episodes weekly.
Hello, and welcome back to New Mom. Today's episode was a fun one. Our baby boy Archie is about to be one year old. So I had Connor back on the podcast to, gosh, just reflect on one year as parents to celebrate that, to celebrate our little boy and to talk about the milestones all the way from advice we give ourselves before we became parents to what we're looking forward to in the future, what we're thinking about, you know, what we're gonna be thinking about when we're 80, those moments that we're gonna be looking back on. So this was a very sweet episode for us and I think you parents will also enjoy it.
Connor:Hey, Carrie.
Carrie:Hi, Khan. Welcome back.
Connor:Welcome back to New Mom, Carrie.
Carrie:Oh, wow. Thanks for welcoming me back to my show.
Connor:I'm back on the show by popular demand.
Carrie:I was just gonna say back by popular demand.
Connor:No one asked for this, but I'm here.
Carrie:Hey, you're you're fun. You're my favorite guest If I'm that requesting you back. But yeah, our baby is gonna be one this week. Yeah. Which is crazy.
Carrie:And so we thought this was a perfect opportunity to sort of sit down and reflect on one year of being Parents. Parents, which is it's been a year.
Connor:Yeah. We were just telling friends last night, it kinda feels like we we blinked and the year is over.
Carrie:Oh, completely.
Connor:I And it's been a crazy year for us and a lot of transition.
Carrie:Mhmm.
Connor:And but at the same time, it just it just feels like it flew by.
Carrie:Yeah. And I I wonder I wonder if part of us feeling like it went so fast was the chapters of living different places. Like, part of me wonders that. By the way, we will be sipping fresh espresso as we did sip sip.
Connor:Slurp or slurping.
Carrie:If you're not watching, if you're listening and you're hearing some slurps, just ignore.
Connor:Sorry, Matt.
Carrie:Or join us. Grab your mug and slurp along. Yeah.
Connor:Yeah. Slurp along, folks.
Carrie:Slurp along. But, yeah. I wonder if like every I'm sure every parent feels that way in a sense. But the other like at the same time, I have been reflecting a lot since turning one because people keep ask people ask that all the time, like, do you feel about your baby turning one? It's kinda like how do you feel when you're about to have a baby?
Carrie:You know how there's those big questions people always ask?
Connor:And you're like, I don't
Carrie:I don't know. Is it how do you feel that you're getting married? How do you feel that you just got married? How do you feel that you're pregnant? It's like, I don't know.
Carrie:It's too big. It's too big. But I've been reflecting on it a little and I feel like in some ways it flew and in and I feel like I was just pregnant. We were just at the hospital, you know, praying over this this whole next year and everything. And at the same time, I feel like we've always had Arch.
Carrie:Like he's always been part of our family. It's weird to think there was a day where it was just you and me and we didn't have him.
Connor:It's hard to think back
Carrie:When he did
Connor:this. On life before Arch.
Carrie:Yeah. When we didn't know what our kids would be or what they would look like or who their little
Connor:I guess it just feels so normal now.
Carrie:It does. He's part of our family. Yeah.
Connor:Yeah. And it's just crazy because when you first have a kid, it really changes everything. And especially those first few months, like, depending on how in the trenches you are Mhmm. It feels like your life changed and it's just so different and it'll never go back. Then a few months down the road, you're like, I don't even remember what the old life was.
Connor:Like, this is normal life now.
Carrie:Yeah. Which is good. I mean, I think that's encouraging. It's definitely encouraging to me the further we get down the road of parenthood to Yeah. To be like, okay, this is I don't even remember life before.
Carrie:I'm not longing for it. I mean, think there are things before your parents that are easier. Like I tell friends that all the time, don't have kids yet. Soak it up, like enjoy it because your life will change and you have to become a new level of selfless that you didn't know you could possibly be.
Connor:Yeah.
Carrie:But you also still do feel like yourself and you find that. And I think it's cool as a mom being almost a year in to feel like it's a new version of me, but I am starting to feel like me again. I just told a friend that the other day. Was like, I think, hey, I'm hitting a year and I'm starting to feel like like I went for a run the other day. And I was like halfway through the run, like, I forgot I had a baby.
Carrie:Like my body forgot I had a baby. I I feel like I never had a kid running.
Connor:Yeah.
Carrie:That took a while. Yeah. But I think the same can be said about emotions. Anyway,
Connor:I'm welcome gonna we're gonna flip flip things around today and I'm gonna be the one asking the questions, kind of. Kind of. We're we're gonna be I'm the one that has the the pro subscription to chat GBT. I was
Carrie:just gonna say, yeah, we we had to get some good questions. We brainstormed a bit and then added some of those.
Connor:We're gonna do a few funny ones. Yeah. A few practical ones, a few more spiritual ones, some reflective ones.
Carrie:Actually don't know what these are, but whatever. We're gonna wait.
Connor:So I think this is something I came up with that I wanna ask first is just for fun. When you think back to having Archie and like being in the hospital, like the first couple of days, what's a memory that sticks out to you the most?
Carrie:The first few days? Oh. Honestly, the one that comes to mind first is is if we're talking, like, could you be in the hospital?
Connor:Oh,
Carrie:yeah. I I I picture I'm such a relational person. I picture the I picture the hospital room in the postpartum unit, and I picture our parents being in there and the laughter and the joy. Like, I think I just feel the joy of that day. And I remember my dad saying, take a video and remember, like, talk to the camera and tell your tell yourself, like, what it feels like right now because it's a We day that's changed your didn't do it.
Connor:We kept being like, we're gonna do that.
Carrie:You know, but we do We did take great videos though. Like, we didn't maybe reflect, which we need to do with baby number two. But but it was it was those moments with family that were were special. And like, I mean, obviously, okay. The other one that comes to mind, I think I've maybe told this story on this podcast, but is that the night it was night two
Connor:I was gonna say.
Carrie:Where you would not wake up. It was so funny. I've told and not in a bad way. It was just I have a video. Connor was so tired because you were incredible.
Carrie:And for three days you stayed up straight. You did not sleep. And so when it's finally just the two of us in the postpartum unit, I'm holding Archie. He wasn't sleeping well in the little nurse bedside thing. So I'm holding him.
Connor:And I'm on the little dad couch.
Carrie:And I told him to sleep to be fair, but I needed to go to the bathroom. And so I needed him to take a shift and sweet Connor, you were so out cold.
Connor:I've never been like more asleep. No. Like waking up wasn't an obstacle.
Carrie:I have a video because it was me and Arch all night. And that's the night that I think of too is having him on me and crying, holding him, thinking I've never loved anything more. This is an overwhelming feeling. Moms know the postpartum dump. Like the hormone dump is crazy.
Carrie:I've never felt this much in my life. And this child's on my chest, it's dark. The stars are like, you know, the moonlight's coming into this hospital room and there's my husband who's out cold and I need him to hold the baby right now. And so I just remember I have this video being like, Connor. Connor.
Carrie:Connor. I said it to so many friends. Nothing. I said it like 45 times. And then finally, I got up.
Carrie:I got up and I physically Yeah. You know? Yeah. But that that night
Connor:I remember waking up
Carrie:from the clearest. It's clearer to me. I don't know how you feel. The hospital is very vivid to me. I can almost remember it minute by minute of, like, people coming to visit, all that.
Connor:And then it gets blurry.
Carrie:Going home is blurry to me. Like, I remember going home, but I would say the first week, I couldn't tell you, like, what night we did what and stuff like that. And I don't remember, probably because I was in more pain then, and you were, like, in hosting mode and stuff. So that's just kind
Connor:of a blur. Yeah. Like, some thought some memories that are coming to me. I remember the day after we had Archie, I went at the hospital there, like, out in front. They have, like, a little mini Starbucks.
Connor:And I went down there and got coffee, and I was so excited to have coffee. It was it was early, like, maybe, like, 6AM or something. And I think you were, like, why don't you just take a few minutes and, like, get out of here. And so I went down there and got a coffee, maybe sat there for like ten minutes. And I just sat at the on a bench there and looked up at the hospital and I was just like, wow.
Connor:And just tried to take it in as much as I could.
Carrie:We have a son now.
Connor:We have a son now. I'm a dad. And I remember it being like a really beautiful day.
Carrie:It was beautiful. Remember the hospital day were gorgeous. And also Providence and Burma, it's stunning. You're overlooking the mountains and Disney studios. It's pretty picturesque.
Connor:I also remember getting lost in the basement trying to find the Oh, the cafeteria. The cafeteria.
Carrie:That cafeteria.
Connor:I like ended up in a morgue probably trying to get you like a quesadilla.
Carrie:Yeah. Those early moments are
Connor:Honestly, that's so fun. Mhmm. Like, I look forward to having another kid for all of, like, the good reasons, but then also just like, it's fun. Being in the hospital and
Carrie:I think it's so much fun. I and I know that's like a not controversial, but people really have different opinions. We have so many amazing friends that are like, get me home. I wanna be home immediately. I don't wanna go to the hospital.
Carrie:We were down. Like, it was
Connor:pretty tough. I don't wanna be there more than like one night. Yeah. Don't get me wrong.
Carrie:Well, the sleeping isn't great. But but it is fun. Like, there's something about I think I've just watched Father of the Bread part too too many times.
Connor:It's like You just see the hospital on when tell me if you agree with this. But you know the feeling when you're like a kid and you get a snow day Yes. And you stay home, you're like, this is crazy. It's a snow day. Or like the feeling you get when your parent brings you McDonald's at school and you're like, my parents it's like that same excitement of like
Carrie:This is special.
Connor:Oh, I'm, you know, I'm I'm out of like, we're doing something different today.
Carrie:It reminds
Connor:me I don't know. Maybe that doesn't make sense.
Carrie:No. It totally
Connor:makes sense. It does to me.
Carrie:It kind of reminds me of not as an adult, but as a kid, maybe it was me, I thought traveling was fun, like the airport. And it's like, today we're going to the airport and we're going to Disney or whatever. And you're just like, this is so different and special. And yeah, my parents kinda think it's gonna be a lot. They seem a little shit, but like, don't know if this is fun.
Carrie:I think that's how I felt because everybody's like, the hospital's really stressful. And I kept feeling like a child because I was like, I'm kind of excited. And it was fun. It was so much fun. Yeah.
Connor:I also remember the nurse leaving the first time and we were like, dude, no one told us how to swaddle this baby. I was like, what do we do?
Carrie:Like, can we pick him up?
Connor:And also I was like, do we use these diapers? What do I do
Carrie:with think the funniest thing about the postpartum unit, like the first few days is that you're still adjusting to the fact that it's your child and you realize that people
Connor:really need
Carrie:Can we
Connor:touch him? In
Carrie:They just swaddled him and left him. Am I allowed to touch him now?
Connor:Can I move
Carrie:him from this? Yeah. It's true.
Connor:Okay.
Carrie:It's good stuff. Get into the
Connor:Let's get into some questions here. Boom boom
Carrie:boom boom. By the way, have allergies. It's like pollen season here in Tennessee. Are struggling. Sorry for the sniffs and the slurps, but
Connor:Well, one of the questions I was gonna ask, but I think you already did it was what is one of the most unhinged things we did while sleep deprived?
Carrie:Oh, definitely putting putting pillows down on the hospital ground so that when you held on the hospital floor, so when you held Archie
Connor:Yeah.
Carrie:You didn't drop him on the hardwood.
Connor:I I remember
Carrie:That was unhinged. I, like, lined the thing with
Connor:the floor with pillows. I remember, I remember I remember this isn't really our like, it's not something we did because we were sleep deprived, but it was just a funny moment while we were sleep deprived. It was one of the first few nights and we're home and we were both exhausted and he woke up and we're like, let's go get him and blah blah. And we were both in there changing him and then he just started hosing it down.
Carrie:Oh, yeah.
Connor:And we both got peed on and we were just like, this is those moments you just laugh.
Carrie:You just laugh. I actually have I have a sleep deprived moment like throw your throw your mom under the bus for a second.
Connor:Yes.
Carrie:So his mom was staying my parents lived in LA, so they had their own house, but his mom was visiting and and didn't. She was staying with us and she was very sweet and she slept on the nursery floor so we could get some rest the first few nights. And she was asleep deprived as we were probably. And so Arch had been circumcised and so, know, boy moms, you know, you gotta do the the Vaseline and the swabs, whatever. Yeah.
Carrie:And so I I go in there at 2AM. She's been so sweet trying to help. She's exhausted. This is like her last night before she's out of here. And we're shuffling around in the dark and we're both, like, really quiet.
Carrie:I just nursed and we need change diaper before we go back to bed. And she, like, tried to do the diaper for me while I was, like, doing something else. And I wanted to be so sweet, but I look and she's, like, so dead tired doing this diaper, like, basically with her eyes closed. And she put, like, the Vaseline swab that was supposed to be
Connor:On his weenie.
Carrie:On his weenie. She just, like, stuck it on his umbilical cord and went and went and laid down. And I was like
Connor:Excuse me.
Carrie:Excuse me. Ica's down there. And I don't know why, but we laughed.
Connor:You were both just so tired.
Carrie:Crying, laughing so hard. She was like, I just put on the wrong part of his body and laid down. So anyway, that was like a sleep deprived moment where we both, we still laugh about that. Like, I wanted to be polite, but also I
Connor:was like,
Carrie:I know you're tired, but Excuse me.
Connor:That's not right. Can we just shimmy it
Carrie:down a little bit? Anyway
Connor:Ugh. Okay. What would if you I mean, okay. If you could like go in a time machine and give yourself pre baby a piece of advice, what would it be? What would you tell yourself?
Carrie:Oh my gosh. This might get deep. I would tell myself this might sound silly, but the first thing that came to mind is I would tell myself don't panic because it's gonna be okay. And I think I think looking back now that I'm almost a year out, I can say I had a little bit of postpartum anxiety. I think I did.
Carrie:And it was from my need to do I think so many moms understand this. I think it was from my need to be a perfectionist and have him structured and have myself do well with breastfeeding. And I wanna be showered and I wanna, you know, I want I think I felt a pressure to be the girl. Brittany and I've talked about this in episodes. Be the girl who shows up at church week two with a sundress and hair fresh and be like, look, I can do it.
Carrie:I think I felt I say don't panic because I felt panicked that I had to get back to life and I I could do it. And I I can still be a normal person and be a mom and it's not gonna change my life and it's not gonna make me be, you know, the girl who never leaves the house with a greasy bun. And sometimes it can be.
Connor:Is a car alarm going off? I don't
Carrie:know if it's ours. I do hear a car alarm.
Connor:Yeah. Whatever. Yeah.
Carrie:Our. And I think I felt I think I would tell myself, don't panic. There will be days and there will be seasons where you feel like, I don't wanna say your life is over. It's the best. Parenthood's the best.
Carrie:We know this. It's parents listening. But what did I just do? Like my life really changed and I'm scared that it's not gonna go back and I'm scared that this is way harder than I thought it was gonna be. And that I'm never gonna feel like myself again.
Carrie:Am I ever gonna feel normal and get to go like serving at Sundays was something I loved so much and to be like, am I just like, am I never gonna be able to show up at church again? Or am I never gonna be able to go to a coffee with a friend without being drenched in sweat because he's crying and, you know, all of these things. So I would just say don't panic. Like ride the waves of of becoming a new parent. And we're so early.
Carrie:Bless you. We're so early in this game. I'm sure I'll have new advice next year when we do this reflection. But, I'm starting to see this new normal that's so beautiful and exciting and fun and we feel like ourselves, but we have the sun that we love more than anything. And I would just say, don't panic.
Carrie:Like if you Yeah. If I could talk to myself that first week, I'd be like, you're gonna be scared a little bit sometimes that this is your life now. And you're going to find your flow and you're going to have a normal routine again. And you're going to find a new normal as a family. And I promise you'll get to shower again and you'll get to take care of yourself.
Carrie:What would you say?
Connor:What would I say? Well, first what I'll say is there's part of me that really looks forward to having our second one because you just have more perspective and you know what to expect more.
Carrie:I feel the same way.
Connor:And so things that were really scary in the first round might not feel as scary. You're like, I know what to expect, you know, somewhat.
Carrie:Yeah. What would you say, babe? Like, what would you say to yourself?
Connor:What would I say to myself?
Carrie:Yeah. A year ago, like, you could give your your self advice, the guy that was walking into the hospital waddling me in, what would you
Connor:tell yourself? It's hard.
Carrie:It can also be silly. Like, it doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to as deep as mine. No.
Connor:I just think like maybe I would I might I might go back and give myself the advice or the permission to do less. I don't know. I'm such a goal oriented go getter, achiever based person that if I'm in the house for more than a day, I'm like, I'm gonna get depressed and I need to go work out and stuff like that.
Carrie:Oh, you're saying do less, like, the early postpartum phase?
Connor:Yeah.
Carrie:That's so good. I would Like,
Connor:I think honestly, like I less think we got cooped up and we were like, this is our lives forever. If we don't get out of here now, never will. And I think I would tell myself, hey, dude.
Carrie:It's a season.
Connor:It's a season. You know, like I'm not telling you not to be social, but it's okay. You don't have to go get that coffee. They can come over to the house. I love being social and I think we both really loved being social.
Carrie:We realized how social we were when we had a baby.
Connor:Yeah. We were like, where's where's Where
Carrie:are people? Yeah.
Connor:But I would I would just give myself more permission to say no or have people come to us. Even like in the first few months, I think there was a part of us, like, don't think we had anything we were trying to prove at all. I think it was more so like we just we wanted to feel normal and we had FOMO.
Carrie:Yeah.
Connor:And so we were like, let's get out there and do all this stuff. And I think round two, I would encourage us to take a breath and maybe do less.
Carrie:I completely agree. And I've heard a lot of wise parents say that that are down the road with numerous kids that your second postpartum is different for that reason. You give yourself full permission. And I love that, babe. I feel like that's that's kind of what I meant.
Carrie:I think it's similar similar thematically to don't panic. It's gonna go back. Like, just ride the wave. Enjoy with the season you're at because it actually does really change fast. And before you know it, you forget what the newborn trenches even feel like.
Carrie:So
Connor:Okay. Here's something more about marriage. What what is something that has helped us stay connected emotionally? Well,
Carrie:do you have something you wanna say?
Connor:I have to. I don't have
Carrie:to always answer first. Mine's not very for go first.
Connor:We go on a lot of walks and I think that is a really good thing for a marriage, especially with a kid because it's time where you and I get away and we can just walk and talk for forty five minutes or an hour. And he likes walks so it's nice for us. Like, he's pretty entertained. And so it's and he's he's entertained and he's also contained. So we're not like, where is he?
Connor:And so we can just kind of turn off
Carrie:We can have our attention on each other a bit more. Exactly. It's really hard to have intentional conversations when you've got a kid that could be licking a plunger.
Connor:Yeah. Like this morning or holding a knife that he got
Carrie:in the dishwasher. A dead wasp. Yeah.
Connor:Or eating a dead wasp. Yeah. So I think that's a simple one, but going on walks has been really good for us. What do you think?
Carrie:Totally agree. The other one I was gonna say is is a little bit more dependent on your child and on the season. I'm speaking from our experience with our first son. So I can't say we this will always be the case. But he's done really well with structure.
Carrie:He's done really well with sleep. So these days he goes down at 7PM. He used to go down really late, like when you're newborn. I think both times the same rule applied. When he used to go down at like When he was little, like first couple months, I wanna say it was 10 or 11 that we've kind of tried to get him down for the night to my nurse him or whatever.
Carrie:And we did this then, but now I tell all my friends like, in until your kid can go down early. When your kid can go down early,
Connor:again, I know this doesn't apply
Carrie:to every mom. Some moms are like hanging in there, having their kid wake up every hour and a half. For us, he goes down at seven and it is one of my favorite, like every day and I love having him awake. Mhmm. But when he goes down, it's you and me time.
Carrie:And yes, I think a morning walk sometimes that we get to do. It's a family. It's a family. And then when he goes down knowing most nights we're gonna cook dinner together and we are going to have some form of a date night, a catch up or whatever it is. We usually don't do work stuff late at night.
Carrie:Like, think that's a good time to kinda shut off and, have it be us time. I think that's such a great way. That's why I've encouraged mom friends that have struggled with with the sleep as their kid gets older. It's like, it will bless your marriage a lot. And I have noticed that when we are thriving in marriage, we're thriving as parents.
Carrie:And Yeah. When we're not thriving, with that, it's harder to give it your all together and to feel like a team. So for us, I think that I guess what I'm saying is when you can have a meal together, it's so easy to be like, let's just scroll or turn on Netflix or something while we take the intentionality. Because I think since we've moved in this house, like cooking together and playing some peaceful music and having evenings to kind of recoup from the day and catch up on things and talk about what we're praying for. And those are like really important hours I definitely look forward to every day.
Connor:So Yeah.
Carrie:I would encourage people to do that. It's helping us.
Connor:That's great. Yeah. Okay. Next question. Okay.
Connor:What routines strummel ever. Saved our sanity?
Carrie:What routines?
Connor:What routines?
Carrie:Are we talking Arches routines or our routines as
Connor:Our personal routines.
Carrie:Oh, that's really good. Okay.
Connor:Yeah.
Carrie:You go first.
Connor:Well, especially
Carrie:You're speaking to the dads, so it's different.
Connor:Yeah. Especially in the early days, it was really sweet that you would let me go off and go to the gym.
Carrie:Oh, wives do it. It's worth it. Your husband will be so much more helpful. The dad the dad in him will rise when he gets a workout in
Connor:and gets Especially, like, I would I'd go to, you know, just go to the gym by myself. But I would also I feel like there's a few months there in LA where Matt and I would get together and do that together.
Carrie:Yeah. You did. And it
Connor:was me and one of my best friends who's also a dad and we would just work out and have good conversation or sometimes just be really exhausted. And I'm like, how are you? And he's like, yeah, man. I'm like, yeah, me too. Okay.
Connor:But just being being around somebody, another dad who's kinda going through the same thing Mhmm. Just kinda helps you feel seen and it's someone that you can talk to a little bit differently Yeah. And relate to. And then also just I think think like being physical and being active, it's it's so good for my mental health. And then I feel like I would come home and I'm like, alright, I'm I'm ready to be super dad.
Connor:Like, what do you need? I would just I would be so much more fit.
Carrie:So ready. Yes.
Connor:And so that I had I had a lot more to give. So that's a routine that is through this entire year that has really, really saved my my was the word? Sanity. Sanity. Yeah.
Connor:And also probably saved your sanity.
Carrie:I think so.
Connor:Even though I disappear for a few hours. I'm sorry.
Carrie:Yeah. Was gonna say, I I do wanna encourage my mom friends in that because it's easy to build resentment towards your spouse that the dad has a different role. He's not the mom. He's not nursing. He's not his Probably his main assignment of the day isn't to feed them three square meals and all this stuff or whatever you're doing.
Carrie:And so it can be easy to You have to fight the resentment or the frustration of he gets to go do that because it is a little harder for me to squeeze in those things. But the fact is it makes it makes you so much more available and helpful and clear headed. It's so worth it. So I would encourage moms to encourage their husbands to hit the gym. Even if it's at home because some people have home gyms.
Carrie:Oh yeah. Okay. So mine would be routines that save my sanity. Like, yes, I work out when I can. Looks different in different phases.
Carrie:It's definitely not what it used to be.
Connor:But Your morning routine.
Carrie:Yeah. My morning
Connor:That's a big one.
Carrie:My morning routine is really big for me. And I've done this pretty much since he was a few months old. But I get up at 05:30, I just do, because he gets up around 06:30 or seven and, it works for me. And I pray and I, you know, I read my bible and I light a candle and I worship a little and it changes my day with Arch. It just changes my day.
Carrie:And some days I don't do it. Occasionally I'll say, no, sleeping. But it's something that has been, it's kind of gone from I'm gonna try to do that to, well, yeah, that's my default. Of course, I'm gonna do that. It's gonna make my day better.
Carrie:And so anyway, that that's something that has saved my sanity because knowing when I hit my head hits a pillow, if I'm sleepy, I'm gonna have that time with the Lord before I become a mom for the day. Just makes my it makes me go into motherhood so differently than the days I don't. And there are days that I don't. And obviously this isn't a workspace thing. God doesn't care.
Carrie:He loves me just the same, but I need it. It saves my sanity. I think it's like a really good phrase actually for for my quiet time. Yeah. Also wanna shout out Nourish Move Love because Lindsay with her workouts, a lot of moms like at home, she's like a stay at home mom that does does these amazing workouts.
Carrie:And I think they're so they're strength based. She has a little bit of all of it, but those are like fifteen minute, twenty minute, thirty minute. And those are really great when your kid's sleeping and you just have a few things of dumbbells and that has saved my sanity to know, okay, I can't leave the house today but I can do something because it's better than nothing. And that's really hard for me because I like to do all or nothing. I want the best workout ever.
Carrie:Forget it, I'll just work out tomorrow. And you can't really do that with motherhood. It's like you gotta you gotta grab it when you can. So I would say those little workouts have saved my sanities because sometimes it's not about getting the best workout ever with the most amount of weight in your PR and this or that. It's like just doing something.
Connor:Nice. Yeah. Okay. Let's, let's shake it up a little bit. Let's let's, let's change it up.
Carrie:Okay.
Connor:And and then we'll come back to more serious things. But let's talk about gear.
Carrie:Oh, okay.
Connor:What is one piece of gear that you would absolutely buy again or you couldn't live without? And then what's one thing that you thought you would want or need that you just never used? Okay. We What never was worth it? What wasn't worth it?
Carrie:Okay. I wouldn't say not worth it. I'd say it depends on the person, but we we did not use the outlet. We never took it out of the box.
Connor:We never did.
Carrie:We never did.
Connor:And And part of that is because I tried and I couldn't figure out how to how to connect it to the WiFi. Yeah. And we were like, ah, we don't really care, do we? Yeah. It's fine.
Connor:Then we ended up giving
Carrie:it to a friend. Yeah.
Connor:Gave it
Carrie:to a friend. And she she used it. To be fair, she used it a lot.
Connor:She figured it
Carrie:out. I would say people have asked me that. And I'm like, I think unless you're incredibly anxious or there's a reason with your baby that you're like, I need to make sure this or that because of their health, I I would recommend that, like, you can save you can save on that. You can save on the outlet.
Connor:Yeah.
Carrie:Yeah. Okay. Well But there's nothing wrong
Connor:with having it either. It's like, it could just give you peace of mind.
Carrie:Yeah. I was gonna say for us, it was just that was one I won't buy again, if that makes sense. Like, for baby number two, that's off my list. I'm trying to think of what else would be off my list. I think some of these things go so fast you don't even remember.
Carrie:I feel like we used the infant lounger a good bit. The little pillowy thing.
Connor:Oh, dude. I mean, we used that for like a week.
Carrie:I was just gonna say we didn't use it very long. It's just that came to mind and I'm like, we used it.
Connor:Because he went to this the bouncy sit up thing.
Carrie:Pretty fast.
Connor:What's that thing called?
Carrie:The bouncer.
Connor:Baby baby bouncer. The baby bouncer. He went to that pretty quick. He loved that.
Carrie:Yes. The infant lounger, we did not use very long. Mm-mm. My friend, Jordan, told me when I asked her about it, she was like, that's one you could borrow from a friend and just put your own cover on it. And I kinda second that.
Carrie:I think that's one you could borrow give it have a have a mom give it to you when you're in the newborn phase for four weeks and you won't really need it past that. Yeah. Yeah. And you can buy covers for them so it doesn't matter if that's somebody else's.
Connor:Something that I'm fired up about is our Nuna. Our Nuna Pipa Urban.
Carrie:Mix.
Connor:Mix. Is that or like next system or something.
Carrie:Travel
Connor:next system. They have the most intense names.
Carrie:They do.
Connor:We're not sponsored by them, obviously. But I love I'm a big fan of that stroller.
Carrie:Connor's been a big fan of that stroller since
Connor:He way before Archie was
Carrie:was whipping it out.
Connor:Was held up.
Carrie:I was pregnant.
Connor:It has been so nice to just take the little what do you call it? Not the bassinet, but the the car seat. Yeah. The car seat, snap it in the car.
Carrie:Base is
Connor:easy. Yep. Base is easy.
Carrie:To the stroller.
Connor:And then and then there is the bassinet. We have worn that thing out.
Carrie:Yes.
Connor:And we're still going strong. I love that thing.
Carrie:I also I
Connor:have no rag rats
Carrie:on No rag rats on on the And I and I've, I also think we also had the bassinet edition, which was a That's it's it's, you know, it's an additional item.
Connor:But the bassinet was so great for walks We'd because we walk to a coffee shop.
Carrie:And he'd nap the whole time.
Connor:And he'd fall asleep.
Carrie:Yeah. That I can't wait to pull that thing out, baby number two. That thing was great. Yeah. I love the Nuna.
Connor:It was a good piece of gear.
Carrie:Yeah. Gear talk is is fun. What do we use the most now, babe, now that he's won? Because gear gear goes kinda like we're slowly putting things in storage more and more until baby number two.
Connor:I feel like we don't use a ton of gear now. No. We don't. That's why I'm just giving him household option, objects, toys. Here's a
Carrie:whisk. Yeah.
Connor:Play with this. Like his favorite toy around is a whisk or a TV remote.
Carrie:Or our keys. He loves our keys.
Connor:Keys or my watch. Loves our keys. But is there something that we're using right now a lot?
Carrie:I mean, I still use the obviously, stroller. I still which is Nuna. I still use our, the Carrier a lot.
Connor:The Carrier.
Carrie:May I was gonna say maybe the
Connor:maybe The Carrier.
Carrie:That's solid one. That that's been solid through and through. Like, from Mhmm. When he was four weeks to now, I use the maybe Carrier and it's amazing and it still
Connor:can't Sponsor us.
Carrie:Yeah. But it's great.
Connor:Okay. Getting back to the real stuff now.
Carrie:I think I'm a too much coffee. I go queasy.
Connor:Oh, really?
Carrie:Yeah. A little bit.
Connor:Gonna keep going. Carrie's gonna get barfed into that fake thing of tulips. Okay. So when reflecting back on our first year at being parents
Carrie:Yes.
Connor:What what parts of your old life did you have to grieve a little? Oh.
Carrie:I mean, the spontaneity. Is that a word? Spontaneity?
Connor:Spontaneity.
Carrie:Homeschooled.
Connor:Spontaneity.
Carrie:Shush. Spontaneity? Is that the word?
Connor:I hope so. Don't
Carrie:know. One of us is
Connor:I really hope so.
Carrie:How spontaneous you used to be able to be. We were pretty spontaneous as a couple. Like, we were down. If somebody texted us, like,
Connor:you know, you look away. Look away. I just can't get past spontaneity.
Carrie:Guys. Uh-huh. Anyway, if somebody
Connor:We have we have fun.
Carrie:We do. If it this is real. This is real stuff. But I think we were the type of couple that, like, we liked doing things. When somebody would text us, loving
Connor:your dad. I'm tickled
Carrie:You're tickled. But people would text us to do something. We were always up for it. Like, we love being social, like we mentioned. And so I think it was just a big shift that I've had has or something I really I guess I really had to grieve was sometimes you just have to be selfless.
Carrie:And it's like, I would love to go do that. That's just not the best for our kid. One question. I don't know if you're gonna ask this question, but it's coming to mind as we answer this. I'm gonna answer You'd it mentioned yesterday something I used to judge parents for that I now totally understand or I've retracted.
Carrie:And it goes with this for me. I used to maybe judge is harsh, but I used to think I don't wanna do that when I'd see parents drastically change their lifestyle because they had kids.
Connor:Yeah.
Carrie:And I used to think, oh, you like, you don't have to do that. We're still gonna do the things. Right, babe? Like, we're still gonna do the trips. We're still gonna go out to the restaurant.
Carrie:We're still gonna do and sometimes we do. Right? Like, we do. But I've started to realize, and we talked a lot about this with friends, embracing your season is not only okay, it's the best way to fully enjoy being parents.
Connor:You can, I think like I've always, I don't wanna say judged, maybe it's
Carrie:a worse word, by the
Connor:But, you know, it's like, oh, there they go? They had their kids and they're moving to the suburbs. Oh, never do that. We're too cool. We live in the city.
Connor:Live in S. A. I get it.
Carrie:I get it.
Connor:I get it. Mhmm. And I and I get why sometimes, like, people have their kids, and once their kids are out of the house, they downsize, and they get a they get a townhouse or an apartment in the city again. It's like
Carrie:They enjoy it.
Connor:Yeah. You're enjoying that. You're making the most of your season. It's it's it's, yeah, putting yourself in the right environment for your season. Obviously that doesn't mean you have to be in the suburbs or whatever, but I'm just saying I understand why we It starts to look different and shift and your priorities and
Carrie:Your priorities and your desire. It's because I think there's a selflessness that should come with being a parent where we've we've talked about this or we would take Arch out to eat a lot. And finally we looked at each other one day and we're like, one, this isn't best for him. Like he needs his nap right now or he needs he should just be in bed right now. Like actually we're being a little selfish.
Carrie:And two, are we enjoying this? Because as much as it's like, we're gonna do it anyway. We're gonna do it anyway. But are we even having fun? Like, honestly.
Carrie:And so I don't think it's about never doing the thing. You guys like, if you've listened to this podcast, like, we've traveled. We've fed this kid on the road more times than he's been in a high chair. Like, I'm not saying don't do it. I'm just saying that that's something I used to think, like, don't change your lifestyle for it.
Carrie:And since we've since we've shifted some things and we know that we're putting him in an environment when it's like he is home in his bed at night or he is, you know, it just makes you feel like, like parenthood is sacrificial. It's beautiful. It represents so much and it's so refining and it grows us. And then also to be honest, if we embrace parenthood that way and we're like, you know what? It's not our season to go out to eat four times a week.
Carrie:It's not. Well, first of all, financially, maybe nobody should do that.
Connor:But We're poor. No.
Carrie:Was just gonna say, don't do that. Also Dave
Connor:Ramsey's head just spin around. Yeah. He's like, get a beater. Yeah.
Carrie:But I'm just saying, like, it it also it's yeah. I guess I guess I'm just saying that I'm enjoying like, it's selfless for him or it's self it's we have to be a little bit selfless, but then also I do think that we're really enjoying. It's not just I used to think parents were just sucking it up. And it's like, yeah, partially because you are a parent now and it is about your child some. But also we're really enjoying more when we get to be home and when we get to It's better for
Connor:our We're in closer proximity to a playground.
Carrie:I did
Connor:have to agree. There's family friendly coffee shops and those things start.
Carrie:Think it's not just that they're lame, it's that it's actually what you desire because you desire something that works for you, your spouse and your child. So I did have to grieve that. What did you
Connor:We're lame now.
Carrie:What did you We're lame now. We gotta embrace it because one day we won't be lame again. One day our kids are gonna be gone, we're gonna be so and we're gonna go back
Connor:to the same We're be so cool.
Carrie:We're gonna be so cool in our sixties.
Connor:Some of our
Carrie:kids will
Connor:be out the house. Yeah. Don't know.
Carrie:I don't know.
Connor:Based on how many we have.
Carrie:So what did you have to grieve, babe?
Connor:What did I have to grieve? I I think it I think it along the lines of the same thing, just doing whatever I wanted. Mhmm. Because even when you get married, you you have to grieve a little bit of that.
Carrie:A little bit, yeah.
Connor:But then you have a kid and you're like, oh, I didn't realize how much freedom I had. Marriage rocks. Yeah. Well, like an example is I used to like to occasionally go surfing with a friend of mine. And there was a time when we were married where like, remember I'd get up a couple times a week maybe.
Connor:I'd go early in the morning a few times and I'd go down to Venice Beach and
Carrie:You didn't think twice about it.
Connor:It I was think twice a night or week. I'd be away for hours and it was fine. And haven't gone once since well, now we live in Tennessee, but I haven't gone surfing once since we had a kid. And it's not because my wife was like, you'll never surf. You're not allowed to.
Connor:It was just it just didn't make sense. And I don't know. Yeah. I think that it's you just kind of grieve a little bit of doing whatever you want whenever you want. Yeah.
Connor:And that's not to say you lose everything by You
Carrie:gain so
Connor:You gain so much. It's just
Carrie:It's different. You know,
Connor:there's more people counting on you. And that's really what it is. It's like, I could go do that stuff more, but I'd rather step up and help you, I guess. So yeah, Next question.
Carrie:So good. Sorry. I that just comes back to It wrap that comes back to embracing your season and I'm passionate about that because I'm finding the fruit in it of not fighting the season you're in. Because you could do that with every season of life. I'm fighting.
Carrie:Just Right now my kids really need this and like, I just don't wanna do that. It's like, actually, if we just lean in and embrace it, it's the next phase will come before we know it. There's gonna be a day where our kids are eight, 10 and 12 and going out to eat is just no big deal because they're gonna be polite kiddos. You know what mean? Yeah.
Carrie:But maybe that's not the second and maybe this is for like dinners at home when they're in bed and that's cool. We're gonna miss the nights when our kids stay up later, we're gonna miss the nights where you and I were like, remember when they were in bed
Connor:at seven and we had just, you know, dinner at home and it's like every Let's just embrace it.
Carrie:Consider change. Okay, go ahead. Sorry, could go off on that.
Connor:How many more do you wanna do?
Carrie:I don't know, a few.
Connor:Okay. Like what things came out of you that surprised you being a parent? I
Carrie:don't think I realized I talked about this with Brooke a little bit on our episode. I don't think I realized how Amazing
Connor:I am. No. Not Wow. That I just didn't realize that. That's a good long, guys.
Connor:No.
Carrie:No. Opposite. I think I did not realize how much I was going to struggle, to be selfless, struggle to enter in It's a completely different phase. I've always wanted to be a mom. I thought that I would be a natural.
Connor:You are.
Carrie:Thank you. But I have struggled to find my flow. I've That's part the reason I wanted to do this podcast. Like, I want I want all of us new moms to, talk about these things because it's hard. I think And I'm not trying to be hard on myself.
Carrie:Like, I know I'm a good mom, but I think that it was I was surprised by how overwhelmed I could feel physically and, emotionally and how my body struggled to adjust and my hormones struggled to adjust, which shout out to Brooke Varvill's episode. It's a really good episode on our nervous systems and how they change as moms. But I was not expecting that. I thought I was gonna be the mom that the baby's screaming and I'm like, I could care less, I'm so blessed. And instead I'm like, He's crying, he's crying.
Carrie:Nobody talked to me. I'm sweating, I need deodorant. Stressed and blessed. Yes, Yes. That surprised me.
Carrie:And, another thing was, I think just, I don't know, the love you have for your kid is indescribable. And Yeah. Maybe that can surprise me sometimes, like how much I knew you everybody tells you how much you love your kid, but it really is like an indescribable feeling. Yeah. And that's a good I'm trying to give a positive too.
Carrie:I'm like, it's not all bad.
Connor:Well, yeah. I was gonna flip that on you though. So to continue on this, what is something that you're proud of?
Carrie:I think I'm to be honest, I think I'm proud of the way that I've dealt with a lot of transition this year with a baby. And it's just not what I wanted. It's not what I imagined. It's not what I had hoped for. I'd hoped for a settled feeling year one, and and we're there now.
Carrie:Praise God. But, it was a lot of chaos and it was a lot of pivoting and it was a lot of moving parts. Everybody's life is in different ways. And I'm I think I'm thanks for asking that question. I think I'm I'm proud of the way that I, I tried to embrace it.
Carrie:I didn't fight it. I think I leaned in when I could have shut down.
Connor:And I'm
Carrie:like, we're doing this. We're moving across the country with a baby. Okay. We're gonna not have a house for a few months and live in a basement. Okay.
Connor:Mhmm.
Carrie:You know, we're gonna go stay at your dad's house for all the things we did with the baby. I was like, I think I'm if you would have told me before I had the baby, your year is gonna look like that. Mhmm. I would have been proud of myself that I made it through that year with joy and, like, loving being a mom and learning and parenthood is the best hardest thing I've ever done.
Connor:Yeah.
Carrie:How about you?
Connor:Man. Yeah. I guess I was thinking, like, I feel like I feel like I gained some dad strength and that surprised me.
Carrie:Dude, you are the ultimate dad on
Connor:But just like I just feel like I have, like, more capacity Mhmm. And more ability to, like, put up with uncomfortable things than I used to have. It's like I'm maybe just a little bit less soft
Carrie:I totally than I thought
Connor:I was or than I used to be. And it's like, oh, okay. I like, I I've always said, like or I've said it several times, like, I there have been many times where I hit my wall and I was like, this is what I have. There's nothing else. I have no more energy.
Connor:I can't move another thing or I can't this. And then you keep going. And I feel like, especially with the last few months, I've hit my wall, pushed past my wall, and surprised myself and been like, okay. I thought that's all I had.
Carrie:Thought I came to the
Connor:end of month. Have another option, so I kept going and I had more in me than I thought. And that's been cool. Mhmm. That's been cool.
Carrie:And I guess I would agree with that.
Connor:And I guess I'm proud of that maybe too.
Carrie:You should be. I I was gonna say there's been moments where
Connor:Dab. Come on, honey. Dab with
Carrie:Oh, sorry.
Connor:Let's be relevant for the young viewers. Ready?
Carrie:Oh.
Connor:Like and subscribe. Dab.
Carrie:Oh my gosh. Could we be more 90 sixers? Okay. Yeah. No cap.
Carrie:Oh my god.
Connor:Six seven. Okay. Just just stop. Everyone logged
Carrie:on. Yeah.
Connor:If they made it this far.
Carrie:If they made it this far.
Connor:They got nothing else going on anyways.
Carrie:What I was gonna say is
Connor:that, yeah, that just you you with
Carrie:the dadding. It reminds me of like the the nights where you get like pull up at a hotel at 2AM after the kids been screaming and screaming and screaming. And then you're like, I'm the dad. I'm the one that has to unload all this stuff, get it up there, unpack it.
Connor:Where's my dad? I want him to pick me up and take me into the hotel. Anyway, that's good. I have a wrap up question that might make you cry.
Carrie:Okay. Okay. Please don't make me cry.
Connor:This is a little traumatic. I know. But down the road, when we're let's say we're 80 years old. Oh, I wanna hear that. And, you know, the kids are all grown and stuff.
Connor:What are those moments you think you'll look back on from the first year and relive and like that's where you go in your dreams?
Carrie:Oh, you made me cry. I would say it was actually just yesterday that Archie and I were like having a little worship session in the kitchen and we'd had like a hard week with some things going on. And I was just like on the kitchen floor and like we were dancing and I was listening to worship music and, and I was
Connor:like doing the dishes and looking out the window.
Carrie:He's playing with his whisk, his favorite whisk ever. And, And I was just like worshiping like hands in the air and he's watching me and he's putting his little hands in the air and we're just like praising God together. It like hasn't been the easiest year, you know? And I think I already had that moment of like looking back and being like, wow, like we're, I'm going to look back when my kids are grown and have their own kids and all this. And just remember like these early days of trusting God and praising Him for this simple day and praising Him for our daily bread and trusting Him.
Carrie:And I think there's something beautiful about having your child see you do that. And the fact that he joins in, and we get to kind
Connor:of worship God together. I think that I've said that before. Think that kitchens with moms and kids are like sanctuaries sometimes. Because you go
Carrie:to you go to bat for your family while you're doing the dishes and while your kids are playing at your feet and pulling on your pajama pants. So I think I'll go there and I have other things I'll say but I want I want you to dance yours. That's that's mine that came to mind first is just going back to those those times in the kitchen with Arch just playing.
Connor:I think there's three things that stick out to me the most. One is bath time. Especially when he was a little bit
Carrie:You loved
Connor:bath just really loved giving him little baths and he loved it. I've like that's something I can just close my eyes and go to. The next one, and it might be my favorite, is this the last few months as he's been crawling, especially now he's he's starting to walk, he really likes to play with me. Mhmm. And I'll I'll kinda get him, you know, I'll egg him on a He'll just start laughing and he he he he he and we'll kinda chase each other and I'll grab him and he'll he'll I'll tickle him and he'll laugh and like, he thinks it's the most fun thing and so do I.
Connor:And like, I love that. Like, I'll I'll start crawling across the room and I'll look back and he'll be like, oh, we're doing it. And he'll just start laughing and he'll chase me.
Carrie:His little buck teeth.
Connor:I think that's something that I'll always go to. And yeah. And the other one is I've always I don't know every night, but almost every night.
Carrie:Every night.
Connor:I've gone And when he was younger, I would go and just as he's asleep, you know, go into his room and sometimes I'll just put a hand on him, say a little prayer or something. But then there were a lot of times I would just go in there and pick him up and he'd stay asleep and I just rock him in the
Carrie:rocking He doesn't love sleeping on us unless he's already asleep. It's our time. It's our cuddle time.
Connor:Yeah. I'd have a little cuddle time and just like rock him in the chair. And
Carrie:That's one of my favorite Yeah. Is to walk upstairs to go to bed and see his door open. And I know you're in there with him.
Connor:Yeah.
Carrie:It's like your special thing with him. Mhmm. It's so beautiful. Just trying to soak up these moments savoring.
Connor:Yeah.
Carrie:Because he's gonna be one.
Connor:It's gonna be one. It's really crazy. It's really sad. It's really weird because when you have a kid, it's like all you want for them. It's like your deepest desire is for them to grow up and be healthy like the way they're designed to.
Connor:You're, you know, you just like, I just I want you to hit these milestones. I want you to grow. I want you to and and it's just weird wanting them to progress but also just wishing you could freeze it. Yeah. And it's like this weird I don't know if that's a paradigm or like dichotomy but like this this weird I'm telling everyone to grow up.
Connor:Man, I am doing everything I can to make you grow up and get out of here. But also I just wish you would stay. Yeah. Never change.
Carrie:I know. It's the purest. We need to do these updates yearly. I think they're really fun.
Connor:Yeah. Yeah. It's been a good year. Glad we had a kid. We'll do it again sometime.
Carrie:We love him. I'm excited to celebrate him, the little cutie.
Connor:Yeah.
Carrie:Yeah. Guys, thank so much for listening. I hope this was fun, like a light listen this week. And I think we have so many friends that are celebrating, like, their kid everybody's turning. I feel like we were in, a wave with our friends.
Carrie:So I'm sure there's so many other new parents that are coming up on a year with their kids and it's a big one. It's sentimental. It's emotional. It's sweet. It's something to celebrate as parents.
Carrie:Like, did it. We made it through the first year.
Connor:Many Yeah. More to go.
Carrie:Many more to go. Yeah. Thanks for listening guys.
Connor:That's it. New Mom Squad.
Carrie:New Mom Squad.
Connor:See you next time.
Carrie:Dabbing out.