Second Act Business Owner

If the business is working, the bills are getting paid, and people think you're successful — why do you still feel stuck? Feeling stuck doesn't mean you're failing. It might mean you've outgrown the current version of yourself and it's time to step into the next one. In this episode, we unpack the real reason so many second act business owners are exhausted despite their success — and what it takes to break free from the cycle of busyness that's keeping you from building the business you actually want.

Highlights

  • Activity does not equal progress — this one sentence can change the direction of your business and your life
  • The story of a med spa solopreneur who was fully booked, profitable, and completely burned out — and what she had to change
  • Why hiring help doesn't automatically free you up (and the mindset shift that does)
  • The difference between "doer identity" and "owner identity" — and how to recognize which one is running your business
  • A side-by-side breakdown of doer mindsets vs. owner mindsets
  • Why growth without direction just creates a bigger treadmill
  • How Warren Buffett and Bill Gates approach strategic thinking — and what second act owners can learn from them
  • Jeff Bezos's rule of making just three great decisions a day to avoid decision fatigue
  • A simple 10-minutes-a-day challenge to start building strategic thinking into your routine
  • The Second Act Readiness Quiz — a free assessment to help you see where you are and where you want to go

Chapters

0:00 – Why Success Feels Stuck
1:35 – Med Spa Owner Story
2:35 – Letting Go and Delegating
4:43 – Doer to Owner Identity
5:51 – Doer vs. Owner Mindsets
7:03 – Purpose Over the Treadmill
8:17 – Schedule Strategic Thinking
9:45 – Lessons From Top Leaders
11:00 – 10 Minutes a Day Challenge
11:29 – Next Version of You
12:07 – Second Act Readiness Quiz
12:39 – Closing Intentional Takeaway





Resources Mentioned

  • Second Act Readiness Quiz

Want to get more help from Lee with your business? Visit her website: https://leegray.actioncoach.com/

This show is part of the ICT Podcast Network. For more information, visit ictpod.net.

What is Second Act Business Owner?

Your Second Act isn't just about starting over; it's about starting smarter. You’ve left the safety of a structured career to follow your passion, and while the opportunity is exciting, the uncertainty is real. You have the vision and the drive, but without a roadmap, that leap of faith can quickly feel like a freefall.

Welcome to Second Act Business Owner, the podcast dedicated to ensuring your new venture lands on solid ground.
Hosted by Lee Gray—an award-winning ActionCOACH, certified executive trainer, and serial entrepreneur—this show is for the courageous professionals who are trading corporate stability for entrepreneurial freedom. Lee understands that being an expert in your field doesn’t automatically make you an expert in running a business.

Each week, we strip away the fluff to provide the real-world MBA training you need to turn chaos into clarity. From navigating the emotional rollercoaster of ownership to mastering the mechanics of profit, Lee brings the structure and strategy required to build a legacy.

Hit follow and let’s get to work.

Ep12
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Why Success Feels Stuck
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[00:00:00]

Lee Gray: Why you feel stuck even if things look fine. Hi, I'm Coach Lee, and you're listening to the Second Act Business Podcast. I'm so happy you're here joining us for episode 12. Have you ever looked around and thought, "The business is working, the bills are getting paid.

People think I'm successful, so why do I feel [00:01:00] stuck?" Today, I wanna talk about something I see all the time in business owners, no matter where they are in their second act, but especially second act business owners. They're busy every single day, but deep down, something just doesn't feel right. Here's the truth I want you to remember about this episode: Activity does not equal progress.

Right? Activity does not equal progress. That one sentence can change the direction of your business and, honestly, your life.

Med Spa Owner Story
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Lee Gray: Let me tell you a story, a true story, about a client. You know, I work with a lot of med spas. My daughter actually is a med spa owner. She became a med spa owner actually after I started working with other med spas, but it's kinda, like, runs in the family now, and I enjoy med spas.

I love what they do, and I know that people who use the services of med spas are [00:02:00] happy people. It's a pleasure to work in the industry. One of my clients who I started working with pretty early on was a solopreneur. She had a great practice. She brought people in. She, in fact, had a full practice.

Monday through Friday, she took most of one day a week off to do admin kinds of things, and she got busier and busier and busier with a full schedule of clients. She was doing her own social media. She was counting inventory. She was placing orders. She was following up. She was answering questions, doing everything, everything, everything.

Very busy and, mind you, very profitable.

Letting Go and Delegating
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Lee Gray: She decided to expand by bringing someone into the business, and found she was still doing the inventory, the social media, the calls, the follow-up. Part of that was happening because she didn't wanna let go, But if you think about bringing on a team member in your second act, the whole idea about bringing on a team member is to free up the [00:03:00] repetitive tasks that do not bring profit to the business so that you can begin to back up- Back way up and have a look at the business and what's surrounding the business.

The idea of having help and you not doing everything and having superhero-itis, "I've gotta do everything, I've gotta do everything," you get to give yourself some thinking time, some strategic thinking time about competition, about the products that you wanna bring to the business, about how I can become a better leader.

Because the person you were the day you started your second act is not the same person you are today, no matter where you are in the process.

Teaching someone else to do the tasks that you can no longer do, even though you do them so well. I, I have some of my clients, es- the med spa in particular, who is really good at social media, and she has a great connection with her audience. She works hard on her social media. People give her positive feedback all the time, and giving that away almost [00:04:00] seems somewhat personal.

And oh my gosh, what if the person that they're doing, that's doing the social media for them is only 80% as good? Only 80% as good. But 80% as good allows the business owner time to think strategically. So if you're in your second act, whether you're starting your second act or, you know, you're engrossed in it, your second act.

Now, if you're doing everything... Think about these things. If you're doing everything, if you're constantly solving all the problems, if everyone depends on you, business survives because of you, exhausted but still moving, you look successful externally, but there's no freedom internally, that could be you.

Doer to Owner Identity
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Lee Gray: the problem really isn't lack of effort. It's lack of identity. You know, think about this. My owner, even though she was moving into a- an advanced business with a team, started thinking like a doer again. You know, in the beginning, it kinda [00:05:00] happens really slowly in a business.

You start your business with really great intentions. You're focused on your mission, you're excited, and all of those things that are super critical. But over time, then stress pulls you back in and into survival mode, so you stop building the business and start carrying the business, and that's, that's what happens in that scenario of l- of, mm.

My client in the med spa literally had to shift that identity from doer identity to owner identity. Owner identity. That is saying no more times than saying yes, holding people accountable to the items and activities that you give them, setting sales goals for them, whatever case that may be, to free you up- for that.

Doer vs Owner Mindsets
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Lee Gray: So here are some doer versus owner mindsets. Doer mindset, if I don't do it, it won't get done right. Hmm. If you're telling yourself that, you're gonna be doing it [00:06:00] a long time. Focus on tasks all day long, busy feeling. You know, it feels productive when you're busy, busy, busy. Reacting constantly, solving emergencies.

You know, you want control 'cause it feels good. Measuring effort. I was busy, I was busy. Living in overwhelm and then thinking that rest is laziness. Rest is not laziness. Rest is preparation for a great day tomorrow. Owner mindset are these things: thinking strategically and protecting your time to think, building people, building systems, measuring outcomes and not just activity.

I'm busy all day long, but if I didn't have an outcome that supports my business objectives and my profit objectives, doing the wrong thing. Owner mindset, delegating decisions to others, focusing on where the business is going, understanding growth requires letting go, and creating an intentional purpose about, for the business and for your own time, and [00:07:00] knowing that being busy is not the same as being effective.

Purpose Over the Treadmill
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Lee Gray: I think one of the hardest things that we have to overcome as second actors, business owners, is acknowledge that we thought we might feel different wherever we are today. We thought money would create peace and confidence, but growth without direction just creates a, a bigger treadmill. So there comes a time when that shift happens, you become owner versus doer, strategic thinking has to take over.

A lot of people think that they're actually stuck in lack of opportunity. They're stuck because they've lost purpose. They wake up and react instead of lead. The money you make can even make you feel a little bit disconnected. You know, even if you have customers, you can still feel empty if you're just busy, busy, busy.

Activity does not equal progress. Progress for the business is gonna require delegation and doing things differently and systems. But one of the, the biggest shifts that I've seen owners do going from doer to owner is, [00:08:00] is saying, instead of saying what needs to be done today, that's a doer thinking, what matters most today to affect and impact my business long term?

Sometimes the most productive thing an owner can, can do is, is think.

Schedule Strategic Thinking
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Lee Gray: I wanna give you an example. I, I love this for myself, and I, I... This may not resonate with you, but I want you to think about how you can create what I'm going to describe here in a moment for yourself, for your business, to give yourself some strategic time.

When I'm in my, my car and I can just drive and really not do any thinking, that's when all the BFOs come for me. Oh, this is an idea. That's an idea. Better yet, being a passenger in the car so I can have these thoughts and ideas and make notes about them. When I'm b- if you're... If I'm busy, you're busy.

Busy, busy, busy, task, task, task. There is no time to think, "What would happen if I really sat down and thought about how to double my business next year? What would [00:09:00] happen if I gave eight hours of strategic thinking to doubling my business?" I'll tell you what would happen. It would probably happen. Likely, you would be able to double your business.

Imagine if you're able to schedule that strategic time. I want you to do this in your second act, wherever you are in your second act. I want you to start giving yourself 10 minutes a day to start. I'm gonna set the alarm for 10 minutes, shut everything off, and I'm gonna s- close my eyes and think.

Promise you, the thoughts will come. Maybe not the first day. So 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, until you're focusing a day a month, a full day o- once a month on strategic thinking, and then ideally, a full day a week.

Lessons From Top Leaders
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Lee Gray: Now there are some business, very successful business owners who will tell you how important strategic thinking is.

Warren Buffett is one of those. Now, none of us is Warren Buffett, but we can learn. He does three important things a day, and the rest of his calendar, he sits [00:10:00] around thinking about things he could do better. Strategic thinking, letting ideas flow. Bill Gates once admitted that he thought leaders, in order to prove their importance, had to be busy all the time, until Warren Buffett shared with him that the opposite of that is true.

Now, you know, Warren Buffett and Bill Gates, they play bridge together. They talk all the time. They share ideas with one another. I think those guys can probably give us some good advice that we should take about strategic thinking. jeff Bezos once said his job is not to make 100 or hundreds of dis- decisions a day, but to make three really good decisions a day.

It keeps you from having decision fatigue. Have you ever had that, "Hey, boss, what do we do about this? Hey, boss, what do we do about that? Hey, boss, what do we do about this?" There's nothing left at the end of the day for your brain and your heart to give the energy that strategic thinking requires. [00:11:00]

10 Minutes a Day Challenge
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Lee Gray: So we have to schedule it, otherwise it doesn't happen.

I give you permission to take 10 minutes a day for the next week to strategically think. Close your eyes, turn off your phone, no sounds. You will be surprised at the end of 50 minutes, which is what 10 minutes a day for five days is, what ideas will come to you, and many of those ideas will bring i- profit, revenue, and things you could not have thought about before doing tasks and having busy work in front of you.

Next Version of You
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Lee Gray: If this episode hit home with you, I have something for you. You, you're not failing because you're stuck. Sometimes feeling stuck is a sign that you've outgrown the current version of you, and it's time to own the next step. And maybe that's the owner. Maybe that's the strategic thinker. The, the, the...

Be the thing the business was built for in the first place. And the next version of you can think differently, because you have to go to the next version sometimes to think differently. I give [00:12:00] you permission to step up to the next version of your best self in your second act. It's there. It's why you did it to begin with.

Second Act Readiness Quiz
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Lee Gray: I have something for you today. I have created something called the Second Act Readiness Quiz. It's a simple assessment. It's designed to help you think about where you are right now in your business and where you really wanna go. Based on your answers, you're gonna get some real-life ideas and directions emailed to you in your inbox, and you can find the link below here in the show notes or in the post, wherever you find this information or, or hearing this.

Take the assessment. It'll be worth your time. It takes less than 10 minutes.

Closing Intentional Takeaway
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Lee Gray: I wanna thank you for joining us today on the Second Act Business Podcast. I know that you did strategic time today. You gave yourself time to think strategically. I've enjoyed my time with you, and I look forward to having you here again.

What I feel like expressing is that anything done with intention turns out better. [00:13:00] I am so stoked you are here today intentionally focusing on your second act and being strategic. What do you feel like expressing?