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In this episode, we dig into one of the trickiest situations in real estate: what to do when a client chooses you over another agent — sometimes one in your own office. We talk honestly about handling those conversations with professionalism, why the "you owe me a referral" expectation rarely holds up, and how ego can get in the way of good business. We share why nobody truly "owns" a client and how staying in touch is what actually earns loyalty. Most of all, we challenge you to use these moments as a mirror for growth instead of a reason to point fingers.
Creators and Guests
What is LeadingLane Podcast?
Welcome to LeadingLane, the go-to podcast for aspiring and seasoned real estate professionals! Hosted by Steven L. Burch and Ashley Fredrick, two seasoned brokers with a flair for the industry, this show delves into the core of what makes real estate tick. Each episode is a journey through essential topics like mastering time management, unraveling the complexities of real estate finances, and sharing authentic experiences from the field. Get valuable tips and tricks, whether you're a newbie or a pro. This podcast is your key to thriving in real estate.
Fort Riley / Junction City / Manhattan / Abilene Kansas home buying & selling — VA loans, BAH & PCS: https://pcstofortriley.com
Steven L Burch (00:00)
Welcome to the Leading Lane podcast. ⁓ we're gonna talk about leads and past clients and how do you deal with a client that has worked with somebody else? let it be in your office that they no longer want to work with, or perhaps if it's you know, somebody else that
Is outside of your office, like how do you handle those different situations? Because they come up all the time. ⁓ so let's let's first start with ⁓ you know the fun one. Somebody walks into your office, calls into your office, and says, Hey, I used your company before, but I don't want to use Steven. I want to use you. So how do you, Ashley, as the agent that that client ⁓ is telling that to, how do you handle that?
Ashley Fredrick (00:42)
No.
Steven L Burch (00:49)
professionally and what are some things that you've seen that maybe hasn't been the best way of handling them?
Ashley Fredrick (00:56)
Yeah, you know, I think that you have to be cautious on both sides, one for the other agent and secondly for the client. ⁓ so it's a very, you know, I feel like you have to be politically correct in how you answer that question. ⁓ you know, normally I'll say like, I'm sorry to hear that, you know, ⁓ Steven's typically great to work with, but obviously, you know, we as a real estate company are here to help you with whatever real estate needs you might have. ⁓
I don't necessarily try to dig into why or what happened because I don't necessarily think that that matters at the end of the day. I mean, if someone doesn't want to work with someone, they don't want to work with someone. I think the biggest thing is then how you handle it after that. and sometimes it might be that, right, they might be thinking about listing their house. ⁓ and you go there and maybe they're interviewing four other agents. So it's not just you, it could be you and three other agents. ⁓
So I'm I don't necessarily say anything to the other agent unless I know that I'm going to potentially get that listing or that buyer because I mean if they're interviewing three other agents, obviously they're just looking for someone different in general. And I still might not be the right fit. But it has happened where someone chooses to work with me. ⁓ and I would prefer that that agent not be blindsided when the listing
pops online or a closed transaction comes through with that buyer's name. So I normally just go straight to the person and just say like, hey, hate to tell you this, but ⁓ you know, so and so reached out, you know, they said that they'd worked with you in the past, but they were just like a different, different agent this time around. And I wanted to let you know first so that you didn't find out and and you know it's always interesting because I think you can find things out that way.
As far as, you know, one, most people will be like, Well, I'm glad they Okay. People that have the right mindset will say, I'm glad they chose to stay with the office. Right. So you have the right mindset, I think you can look at it from that way. Some people I've had like, that's really too bad. Like I really liked them, I wonder what happened, whatever that might be. Or you tell them and you they're like, Thank God, because we didn't get along and you know what I mean? So
They didn't nobody knows anything, or they'll be like, just so you're aware, you should look out for, you know, XYZ. I think every now and then you will get those other agents that are super pissed. ⁓ I've had other agents when I've told them say, Well, I'm gonna call them and find out why, and I'll be like, Yeah, that is definitely not a good idea. That doesn't represent the company or the industry as a whole in any any good manner.
⁓ I think it's just more that agents can take things really personal. And sometimes it could just be that maybe their friend had a really good experience with me and maybe they didn't have the best experience, or maybe they haven't heard from their agent in five years. So I think I try to encourage agents when that happens. Cause it might even be not in our office, right? And somebody chooses a different agent. I'll say like when's the last time you talk to them.
Are they part of your mailers? Are they part of your newsletter? Do you check in? Do you do real estate reviews? And if the answers are are no to everything, like was there really a connection that you should be mad about in the first place?
Steven L Burch (04:27)
So what happens, ⁓ you know, you go to the agent and you tell them and they they go, Well you owe me a referral now.
Ashley Fredrick (04:36)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, so the answer is no. ⁓ so that is interesting because at a prior office that was like always a given is that if ⁓ someone had worked with someone before and they chose another agent, like the other agent was owed a referral, and I was a hard stickler for that. On I don't understand why. Like if that client specifically
Steven L Burch (04:41)
⁓
Ashley Fredrick (05:05)
chose not to work with you again, I don't understand why you'd be getting a referral from it. Now had they called you and you decided that you didn't want to work with them, but you would say, you know what, ⁓ like I'm too busy as an agent right now or I'm gone for vacation the next week, but Steven from my office could help you. That to me then constituted a referral because it's business that you wouldn't have had. But again, like the question I asked to someone then is, okay, let's say that
they picked an agent from a different office. Are you gonna call the other office and tell them that a referral is owed to you? And then obviously they would always say no. And I was like, okay, so what's the difference between me versus them? You know what I found when I first got into real estate is that and I think this can happen with anyone, is that people used to be in real estate or or that are new to real estate. So like when you sold them a house ten years ago, like maybe, you know, Dana wasn't in real estate.
so same like right with I'll give that example, Dana in my office. ⁓ she just listed a property and I had sold that couple ⁓ two different properties, stayed in touch with them, etc. She knows them much better than I do. Like she sees them on a regular basis and ⁓ you know, I saw it come through and to me there was actually no surprise. I was like, like she knows them so well. I don't spend that kind of time with them and I didn't.
didn't bother me. I'm again, I was like, Well, I'm glad it stayed with the office and I'm glad that they'll be well taken care of. So I do think a lot of it has to do with mindset, and I do think that a lot of people think that they own people and nobody owns anyone. ⁓ so I don't know. That's how I view that. How about in your situation? What would you do differently?
Steven L Burch (06:33)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, no, ⁓ you know, when I first got started in real estate that I I distinctly remember ⁓ there was an investor that worked with Sonny who has been in the industry probably longer than I was alive at that point. And ⁓ the investor, Dave Tibbetts, he came through and he was like, Hey, I wanna give Steven a try and so my grandmother was the broker at the time and I remember her having to bring in the client, talk to the client about it, what's going on, what do you want to do?
And so she then delivered it to Sonny, the other agent that Dave wants to use me. Sonny was pissed, but also at the end of the day, he knows that I was hungry for it. I was working for it, and Dave wanted to give me a try. So at that very first juncture, I said, Let me let me go ahead and re-give you a referral because I felt that I owed him something. I didn't want that animosity that is there. Now, did I give him referrals off of all the other transactions? Absolutely not.
I gave him the one. He Dave dragged me out and he wanted to continue to work with me. So I don't feel like I owe him any other referrals. So I feel like if you want to give somebody a referral, that's one thing. But the entitlement or the ownership of that person, that's a no-go for me whatsoever. So I think there you have to look at it from how do you want to be able to, like what is the right moral thing for you in that judgment call, but it's not expected.
Right, it shouldn't be expected, I guess I should say. But I do I mean it happens all the time. ⁓ you know, people don't, you know, personalities don't work with one another. ⁓ there's different tactics that people like or don't like. You know, I know that I'm not everybody's cup of tea and I'm okay with that. ⁓ but from a company perspective, from a broker perspective, as long as they're using my company, I'm good. Because I know that we as a company are doing extremely well.
And I do think that we need to give opportunities to other people because also if we're not getting the feedback from our clients, if we don't get the ⁓ constructive criticism throughout the transaction of how can I do this better? What you know, how can I serve you better or communicate better to you to make this a better experience? You know, if we're not asking those questions, how are we supposed to improve? So I think the other part here too is just thinking that the slam dunk
You close them once, you get a client for life, you have to create a client for life, and you have to create the relationship for life, just like with everything. It takes work, and if you're not working it, you're not gonna get it. So, I mean, we have this situation come up ⁓ multiple times, and really at the end of the day, like agents, you're 1099. You're independent contractors, you're running your own business.
So just as two different businesses, it doesn't matter if it's a different company or different agent, like businesses sometimes have to communicate with one another. And even if you're competition, even if you want to say that you're not competition, we all are competition. And you need to just have the open discussion and let it be and not dwell on it either. Like this can't be something that you're going to continuously beat up and hold on to for grudge because
You're getting passed up. And quite honestly, if you're constantly getting passed up, like maybe you need to look at what you are doing. And it's a reflection in the mirror and going back to that mindset. How can you improve yourself versus pointing fingers at everybody else of why you're not succeeding? ⁓ but I think when go ahead, I'm sorry.
Ashley Fredrick (10:26)
Yeah, I think you'll ⁓
go ahead.
Steven L Burch (10:30)
I one thing that I do try to do very ⁓ diplomatically is ask the question of okay, what is it that they did or did not do so I can get the feedback to ensure that I can better serve you? And so asking the client in a manner to like not that I'm trying to figure out why necessarily, but I am because what happens if they said, Well, they only emailed me
And you know, they didn't like that they only emailed and they want phone calls. I think that is very good criticism or feedback from me to be able to serve them. And I even do it if it's another agent, not even with our company. you know, I won't go into the, you know, you're bashing another agent whatsoever. That's not it. Everybody is entitled to their opinion. I'll say, you know, that's so so sorry that you don't want to work with XYZ. Give me a little bit of rundown of what the reasonings are so I make sure that I don't
do the same mistakes or do something that, you know, didn't serve you properly. And I think it's just an easy way to be able to then see how you can make it a better experience for them.
Ashley Fredrick (11:37)
Yeah, I think that there's always like a point of reflection. I think that for me sometimes when that happens, ⁓ I like to try to bring the buyer. I mean, obviously you try to bring the buyer whenever you can, but like if you lose out on a listing, I always it's like, that's always great if you could have the buyer as as well. I do think that there is a time and a place for referrals. I feel like I've been experiencing that a lot lately. ⁓ like I think it was like the day we were leaving for
Arizona and someone was like I wanted to list my house tomorrow and I was like
Right, but they had gotten my name. They're like, Well, I we wanted to work with you. And I was Well, I understand, but you know, if you are looking for it that quickly, unfortunately, I just can't make that happen. However, I have great agents in my office that would be more than happy to take care of you. And right, I referred it to another agent which was still ⁓ being interviewed against two other agents, and she chose the agent from my office, and right, I got a referral, and to me, like that was an adequate. Had I been in town, it would have
been mine, but I wasn't. And so I gave them an opportunity. So yes, I think I should have a referral back. I've also had it where I had this listing that was stupid ninety thousand dollar. Everybody and their brother was gonna fix it up, right? And I think I had like 30 showing requests and it was just over the top. I literally couldn't keep up with them. So like I was just rotating through other agents in my office like, I've never worked with this person. Do you want a referral? Do you want a referral? Do you want a referral? And
None of them may have gotten the offer, but they've all now established a relationship with someone else that they're likely gonna sell them another house. And so that works for me too, right? ⁓ and I will say, like, going back to your example, like every now and then there for me, there's like a an ick feeling just because I know that the agents in my office are good and maybe there must have just been some type of misunderstanding or whatnot. So, you know, you kind of feel
like bad talking to them. And so I think that sometimes people f when they feel bad, they just automatically think a referral is a way to make that happen. And again, I'll I'll struggle. I think it is always dependent on the situation. ⁓ every now and then there'll be one where you might just be like, like, I'll give you a referral because this feels not right. And I think most agents are like, No, don't because I didn't do my job. Like obviously they liked you or whatever. And I think as long as you can actually talk it out as like
two responsible business owners, you come to an agreement. I will say that every now and then I don't think it's like on us to put the client in the middle. Like at the end of the day we should be taking care of the client. If we need to figure that out, fine. ⁓ but like two things. Sometimes you get a a client that knows two agents and they're like, well I like them both. Like what am I supposed to do? And I've actually had that some agents just co list it then. So
Steven L Burch (14:34)
Yeah, absolutely.
Ashley Fredrick (14:35)
Right. Then nobody's necessarily hurt feelings. Both get paid, both get sides, et cetera. So I think that that's another opportunity when there wasn't a specific problem, or if they're actually telling you, like, well, I like both. Can I work with both? ⁓ and I again most agents I think are willing to work together. They might learn something from one another while they're doing the process. but I do think we just can't get lost in taking care of the client when we're trying to worry about where a referral fee goes.
Steven L Burch (15:02)
Okay.
Ashley Fredrick (15:04)
'Cause at the end of the day, like that client is either gonna move away to another state and you're never gonna see them again, or maybe they buy here, but like you're gonna work with your coworker every single day. So can we all just agree to move on and then write? It's likely gonna happen to you in the future too. So if you were good to them and understood, normally they're gonna be good to you the next time it comes around.
Steven L Burch (15:28)
Of course. And I I think here too, like, there is the camaraderie that you need to keep within the office and the professionalism. And you know, the where I always go to this is that ⁓ proof is in the pudding. And at the end of the day, like again, show me show me your your log of your newsletters, your touch points, everything else that you're doing. And when you don't even have it, then how can you be upset with somebody else? Like
I think the ego, the ⁓ personal feelings that get hurt, yeah. ⁓ is something that they ⁓ definitely have to put in check. And that is tough being a business owner, ⁓ putting your emotions into check sometimes. But that is part of business and you can't fault other people ⁓ for their successes when you are putting yourself in in that position. So and I completely agree with the
Ashley Fredrick (16:01)
I don't know.
Steven L Burch (16:26)
client facing. Clients should never know or experience any waves, any sort of feelings, vibes, anything of whatsoever. ⁓ that should be all behind closed doors. That should be ⁓ handed handled internally. And that's that period. Because at the end of the day what they're doing, and I think that this is where ⁓ maybe my perspective is wrong on this. If they're walking into our brokerage
That means they're wanting to work with us as the brokerage. And our laws read that the listing or the buyer agency agreement is with the broker. So in all reality, what they're doing is they're hiring the broker, and the broker is then designating or appointing a representative to be able to assist them and represent them through a transaction. So I think sometimes agents maybe forget that ⁓ the broker.
Really is the one that holds the power and the broker is who really that client is hiring. And the broker is hiring essentially you to represent. So sometimes when that ⁓ nice little puzzle piece gets lost, people get a little off the kilter. And I think we always need to bring it back that the broker's in charge, it's the broker's client in all reality. It's what they want to be able to do.
Ashley Fredrick (17:49)
You know, I had a I think a couple other situations like where, you know, you have to remember too, like that clients don't necessarily understand how how things work either. So like we ⁓ I went to a a listing preview and like come to find out like another agent from my office had been there, right? So I was like, like you can if you already talked to them and they're like, Well, no, like I wanna I want to be able to interview more than one agent. I don't care if they're with whatever company and again like
Steven L Burch (17:58)
Online.
Ashley Fredrick (18:19)
That is their right to have an ability to talk to more than one agent. and they ended up ⁓ working with me and I went to that other agent and then just like, well, I'd pick you too. So no fault here. Right. Like at least like that. It was funny, like, no big deal, you know, moved on. ⁓ but we've had it too like with buyer agent consult, right? Like again, some people
Steven L Burch (18:21)
Mm-hmm.
Ashley Fredrick (18:45)
might again we're a small town, so they might have a buyer consult with two people from the same office and I think they should have the right to I don't think that we could just say like, no, you have to work with the other person. Like I I always tell people like you're more than welcome to, you know, interview all of us, some of us, I think we'll all take great care of you. But at the end of the day, it's who you feel the most in tune with. And that might be me and it might not be me. But I just want you to know that our office will take care of you, period. So again, I I think it really goes back to like
mindset of taking care of people doing the right thing. And if they don't pick you, again, like figure out maybe what you could have done different. Do you need to improve something in your buyer consult? Do you need to improve something in your listing presentation? Can you ask the other agent, is there any tips that you could provide from maybe what they told you or from what you're seeing that I'm doing? So I think you just have to be more aware of like turning it into a a learning opportunity versus a
Steven L Burch (19:36)
Right.
Ashley Fredrick (19:43)
A bitch session or a complaint.
Steven L Burch (19:46)
And you never know. You may get the listing, but you may not actually sell that listing. And at the end of the day, if you're asking for a referral right then and there, maybe that seller might come back to you after that listing expires. And would you expect that agent that won the listing first to be asking for a referral from you? I don't think that you'd be paying it because the roles are reversed. So I think it's making sure that you
Do what is the saying? ⁓ do as to one as you ⁓ do as to other right like like I mean come on. It's business it everything is not just handed over and it's part of life, it's part of running and operating your own real estate business and too bad.
Ashley Fredrick (20:39)
Focus on the next big thing to tackle.
Steven L Burch (20:39)
Okay.
That's right. Well, thanks for tuning into the Leaning Lead podcast. We appreciate you as always. Make sure you tune into the next one.