Setbacks in Healing Journey

Alicia, in tears, was wrestling with feelings of failure over her healing journey. 

The setbacks felt overwhelming, like all her progress had crumbled in an instant.

She was drowning in self-judgment, 

unable to shake the guilt of her anxious attachment resurfacing.

She loathed how she seemed to slip back into old habits—ruminating, 

jumping to conclusions, criticizing, and clinging to control when triggered.

Constantly second guessing herself and showing up in needy energy.

She realizes she reacts in the exact opposite way that inspires him to connect—

by being critical and controlling.

Alicia, a single mother stepping back into the dating world 

after healing from a Trauma Bond, 

was fiercely determined to show up differently this time. 

No more self-abandonment. 

No more compromising her worth for connection.

In our cyclebreakers community, 

we talk about the two essential phases of healing from trauma bonds and the anxious/avoidant cycle: 

1) the inner restoration and 2) the relational practice. 

1) Think of the the INNER RESTORATION as the self work needed to grieve, heal, rest, and recover where

we find our self worth and repair with the parts of ourselves we abandoned and neglected

for the sake of connection.  

This part is the most confronting for our participants because almost everyone starts off in therapy

diagnosing their partners as narcissists, but they neglect to take ownership

for why they were the PERFECT MATCH for someone like that.

Hint: It all begins with a lack of self worth, and an identity that’s been groomed 

from childhood to abandon yourself when it comes to love.

To not speak up.

To have no idea how to share boundaries in an elegant way.

It wasn’t until Alicia mastered the first phase—

reclaiming her worth and making peace with the parts she’d neglected—

that she realized why she’d been a perfect match for unavailable partners.

This first part is CRITICAL if you ever want to get to the place where you 

are ready to let love back into your life.

It’s in the second part she felt she was struggling with a setback on her healing journey:

2) Part 2 RELATIONAL PRACTICE- is the work that can only be done WITHIN RELATIONSHIP. 

The fantasy is that a secure relationship is where we meet this "magical other”

who single handedly rids us of all our childhood complexes and insecurities.

That meeting the right person signals that our work is done.

Wrong.

This is where the REAL WORK begins. 

Healing isn’t a straight path; it’s more like building a bridge while standing on it. 

The structure wobbles, and there are moments when it feels like it might all come crashing down. 

But each stumble is a step in learning.

This is where I discovered how important it was to become Trigger-Proof.

The moment you step into a new relationship, 

expect those hidden triggers to resurface. 

The old doubts, the insecurities, the child-like reactions that scream for safety—

it’s all part of the real work. 

And that’s where many mistake it as a “setback."

But it’s not.

It’s when the real practice begins. 

The somatic practice of un-coupling from the identity of the needy child,

and truly embodying the healthy, functional adult self.

Your magnetic, adult self isn’t labelling your triggers as a “setback” on your healing journey.

Your triggers are not IN the way.

Your triggers ARE ON the way. 

When you master this nuanced dance,

You rebound back to adult self much quicker.

You’re less reactive.

You’re more magnetic.

More authentic.

More vulnerable. 

and this is IRRESISTIBLE to a secure connection,

because intimacy doesn’t mean PERFECTION. 

It means “being real” — and there’s nothing more attractive than the real authentic you.

Unfortunately without doing the deep work of #1 and #2, 

You get stuck in a loop in your reactive self. 

And your reactive self is a cover up for the vulnerable, magnetic, authentic self underneath.

Underneath the mask.

Underneath all the shame.

Underneath the addictions to alcohol, sex, substances, shopping, and external validation. 

And the good news is— you CAN gain access to that authentic version of you.

You DO have the capacity.

The only thing in your way is your WILLINGNESS.

The willingness to practice.

The willingness to learn.

The willingness to reframe each “setback’ on your healing journey to a “learning”.

Because healing is learning.

And learning is forgetting, until you practice enough and it becomes second nature.

Alicia’s journey didn’t end with that moment of tears. 

On the group training, she was able to shift her focus and reframed her 'setback' as part of her practice, 

and began to rebuild herself, one intentional moment at a time. 

The result was spectacular—  A profound shift toward embodying secure love.

Because learning to love and be loved securely is not just a skill—it’s the most important skill we can master.

Tell me what’s more important than that.

Your wingman on your adventure to learning, 

Nima
______________________________________

P.S.  Remember, every perceived 'setback' is really an invitation to deepen your practice. 

If you’re ready to uncover what’s been holding you back and take your journey to the next level, 

share your story with me. If you’re willing to receive some humbling, no BS feedback that’s real on the energy you’re putting out,

—ask for my calendar link, and let’s see what breakthroughs await for a free, no obligation intuitive blind spot session.

Here’s what I will need FIRST:

Inbox or comment with your backstory. Here’s what I’d like to know:

 • What have you already tried in terms of therapy or personal development?
 • What patterns or behaviors do you feel stuck in?
 • What do you think your biggest blind spots might be?
 • Why do you feel ready now to see these blind spots and make a change?
The more details you share, the clearer our starting point will be. 

FINISH YOUR STORY WITH “NIMA CAN I PLEASE GET A LINK TO YOUR PRIVATE CALENDAR?”

What is Trigger Proof Transmissions (Cyclebreaker Collective)?

Welcome to the TriggerProof podcast.
This is the first season of the Podcast which are audio renditions of
Facebook Live Video Transmissions done for the “TriggerProof” Facebook Community.
These were set up by request of our community members who wanted an opportunity to listen
to insights, tools, and strategies to help heal relationship dynamics, deepen intimacy,
and master the fine art of Autonomic Nervous System Regulation so that we can build resilience,
heal from the past, and become active operators of our mind, body, and life.

This first season wasn’t designed to be a podcast, so you’ll notice the audio isn’t
Professional Studio Quality (like it is on season 2 as we’ve upgraded incrementally).

These trainings are designed to introduce and deepen you to the most critical 2 skills we’ve never been taught:
1) The skill and practice of taking our triggers (Nervous System Activations) and turning them into deeper safety and self-love,
2) The skill and practice of taking conflict (that happens in any relationship) and turning them into deeper intimacy between the parties involved.

Not learning these two critical skills at this time in history costs us dearly: Physical and Mental health is on the DECLINE.
Doing this deep level of healing work can break the cycle of Intergenerational Trauma that didn’t start with you.

It didn’t start with you, but it can end with you,
#Cyclebreaker.
______________________________________________________________________
Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof

[Music] thank you

I remember this quote from Winston Churchill he said success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm and so it's interesting because that's how your healing journey is going to feel like sometimes and hopefully my job is to help you go from each failure or trigger you're going to consider your triggers a failure that's part of the process they're not a failure they're just information they're not a failure but you're gonna think that it is and just as you think that you're failing if I'm doing my job right and I'm in my heart your enthusiasm for the process will still be aligned you'll still keep going and through consistency you'll look back three months six months one year and go holy [ __ ] like I'm still going through challenges I got this going on in my life I got that going on with business and this going on in my marriage and there's usually a resistance however look at who I am in the face of this in comparison to that that's how I want it to be for you I don't want to give you the kind of Illusion the garden path that doing something like this type of work is going to make things so that everybody always accepts you all the time they have nothing but positive regard and happiness and good things to say to you you never have to cope with feelings of rejection anymore it's just not realistic and so that's why very few people go to this level of the work because we base it on the truth and reality and what reality is and we do everything we can to stay in fantasy La La Land my job is to consistently pull myself back to my reality the truth of where I am and then learn a few things about myself that might be useful for you and then share that same thing that I just discovered for other people who are probably challenged with the same thing challenged with what connection to a sense of purpose feeling healthy and safe in relationships feeling engaged in your relationships like you're connected to one another with intimacy feeling like you're able to trust yourself to be able to sit in your own emotions and be able to self-soothe and self-regulate to be able to have healthy give and receive and I've been working on myself to create that namely a big part of it is doing work that's very inspiring to us that's really what we all want and so the reason why you're here is because you're part of that for me

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