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WAHBL Podcast (When All Hell Breaks Loose) is your go-to source for real, raw, and uplifting conversations about overcoming life’s toughest challenges. Hosted by Chris King and Monique LaRue, this podcast dives deep into the personal stories of resilience, faith, and growth, providing practical advice on how to thrive when everything feels like it’s falling apart. Whether you’re navigating loss, career setbacks, or personal struggles, each episode offers inspiration, actionable steps, and a reminder that even in the darkest moments, there’s hope on the horizon. Tune in for empowering discussions, audience engagement, and thought-provoking interviews that will help you take life’s toughest blows and turn them into victories. For more information, please visit our website at https://wahblpodcast.com and follow us across social media @wahblpodcast
Yeah. What's up? What's up? What's up? Welcome to the When All Hell Breaks Loose podcast.
Chris King:I'm your boy, Chris King, and I'm just so excited to be here. We're here in Soult in Alpharetta, Georgia here at the Win All Hailbreak Suits podcast. This is a podcast where we give you practical tips on how to thrive and succeed during life's most tough challenges, the toughest challenges that you will face. We're gonna
Chris King:teach you how to succeed. And so I'm here with none
Chris King:other than Ruthie Williams. Give her a hand. Ruthie. Ruthie. Ruthie.
Chris King:Now
Chris King:before you start, Ruthie, I'm a tell you. Okay. Alright. Transparency. Transparency.
Ruthy Williams:Alright.
Chris King:When
Chris King:I first met you,
Chris King:I was scared. Okay? I was scared.
Ruthy Williams:No, no, me.
Chris King:And then and this is why I was scared because Ruthie I I I I had a teacher named Ruthie. Her name was Ruthie Trotta, and she had a gold tooth right
Chris King:here. So
Chris King:Come on, Dolton. One. Just one gold tooth right there.
Chris King:But it wasn't a full gold tooth. It was a outline.
Chris King:You know what I'm saying? Ruthie Trotter. And she was the type of teacher that would cuss you out. And it was 7th grade. Ruthie Trotter is like miss miss Trotter gonna play.
Chris King:So her name was Ruthie. So when I heard your name Ruthie, I was like, is she gonna cuss me out? You ain't gonna cuss me out. Are you Ruthie?
Ruthy Williams:Well, we'll see. We'll see how it goes. I can't promise. Okay. Okay.
Ruthy Williams:I can't confirm nor deny.
Chris King:I will push the envelope, Ruthie. Let's go. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Ruthy Williams:Oh, man. Well, first, I am so excited to be here. I am looking at so many familiar faces, and, it just brings my heart. I'm just, I'm just in joy right now. So oh, wow.
Ruthy Williams:About me. So let's see. You know, I hate that question because when you hear that question, then you gotta run down the list of things that you've done, right, your accomplishments. And so, so I'll say a little bit about me. So I've authored a book, I'm the Girl Next Door.
Ruthy Williams:I've, master's in psychology. I love to know how the brain thinks. I love, love, love that. Oh my god. So many things.
Ruthy Williams:But the main thing, I just want you all to take this away. I was a contestant on The Price is Right. What? Okay. Okay.
Ruthy Williams:That's new. Fun fact fun fact.
Chris King:And y'all Mark or
Chris King:Drew Carey?
Ruthy Williams:Drew Carey.
Chris King:Okay. Okay.
Ruthy Williams:Okay. And I came this close to winning the car. So that was that's an experience I'll never forget.
Chris King:What game? Never forget.
Ruthy Williams:I know
Chris King:this has nothing to do with pockets, but what
Ruthy Williams:game did you do? So it was Plinko. What? Yeah. It was Plinko.
Ruthy Williams:It was Plinko. Yo. I was the first one called up and the last one called up to stage.
Chris King:There we go.
Ruthy Williams:So it's an experience I'll never forget. But some of these experiences, you know, I you just hold them all near and dear to your heart. And so, yeah, lots of lots of good things.
Chris King:Skills. Lots of good things. Learning new things about people
Ruthy Williams:Fun fact.
Chris King:Everything. So, Ruthie, I'm so honored to have you here because I know that you have a wealth of experience. And even in your intro, you told me things that you didn't even tell me before when we talked. So it's like I'm learning more and more about you. But in this particular podcast, we're gonna explore so much of what you've gone through, your stories, some of which you have publicized, some of which you have not.
Chris King:And so we just wanna have a dialogue and really understanding what that looks like for you. So just, you know, there's some aspects to you. Right? You know, when when when people look at you, you see you put together. You got lotion on your knees and everything.
Chris King:You know? Lotion. It was a vaseline. Shea butter. Okay.
Chris King:There was Shea butter. You know? There we go. You know? And so it's like you you look together, but I always tell people, don't let the smooth taste fool you.
Chris King:Yeah. You know? And you're one of those quiet people, but you have a a a strong voice and it's not necessarily loud, but it's powerful and strong.
Ruthy Williams:Wow.
Chris King:And when people have a powerful and strong voice like that, but they understand how to be meek. Mhmm. Right? It lets me know that they have gone through something and life has dealt them some blows to where there's something that has shaped and formed that meekness, but it has given them the courage and the understanding of their strength. Yeah.
Chris King:So I wanna explore that if if it's okay.
Ruthy Williams:Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely.
Chris King:Yeah. So
Chris King:tell us a little bit about your story Yeah. And, you know, just give us the hip hop version.
Chris King:Yeah. You know?
Ruthy Williams:Yeah. Well okay. So let me say this first. I am truly a woman at heart. Like, that's who I am.
Ruthy Williams:I love being a woman. Most of my audience is women. Why? Because I just believe that God has called us at a special place. And typically, it is going to be by your side as men.
Ruthy Williams:Our role is to be by your side and support you and to nurture and to just be there, right? So let me say this. Back when I was about 35 years old, me and my girls would kind of hang out, right? We'd go to a little lounge every now and then and grab some dinner. Every time we would go out, my words to them would be, I'm going to meet my husband tonight.
Ruthy Williams:And I wasn't ashamed to say that. I felt good in saying that. And you guys, it's this probably happened maybe 6 different times. And on the 6th time, I met my husband. And so it was a beautiful, beautiful courtship.
Ruthy Williams:This was a handsome man, honey. Okay? He was just a gorgeous man and with a big heart. Everyone who knew him, they were touched by who he was. He left a stamp on everyone.
Ruthy Williams:And so I was so proud to be his wife. So when he asked me to be his wife after 2 years of dating, of course, the answer was yes. Absolutely. And so we started our journey together. Now things got a little difficult for him because a year into our relationship and he didn't tell me in this this until much later.
Ruthy Williams:So a year into actually us being married, went to the bathroom and gonna have to be a little went to the restroom and instead of pee, you know, urine when it was time to urinate, he it was it was blood that was coming out. It was pure blood. And I just wanted you all to keep this in mind that this wasn't shared with me until about a year or so later. And so that is a lesson for men, not all men, but there are some men who do not share what they're going through physically. And it's important that you do that because our role is to support.
Ruthy Williams:Our role is to stand by your side. Our role is to make the calls to the doctor, go with you into those appointments, ask the right questions. That is our role.
Chris King:Now let's back up a little bit Yeah. Because that is a lesson, but there's a lesson before that. We'll just make message. Yeah. Then okay.
Chris King:Men, you know, we wanna encourage men also to make sure you get checked up. Yeah. Right? And and let that be a regular practice.
Chris King:Mhmm.
Chris King:Right? A lot especially men that look like me and and and you, sometimes we have stigmas that prevent us from going to get necessary checkups. Mhmm. Right? So, definitely, men, we wanna encourage you to go get checked up and and do those things.
Chris King:Now now let's let's now we go into the next message of, okay, communication and and and so you're in this journey, and I'm guessing but just from some of our conversations that you felt a little blindsided. Yeah. Right? Blindsided by the fact that, you know, this is going on, and you're now having to wrestle with how do I support and how do I be there. So in in that though, Ruthie, let's let's let's fast forward a little bit and then understand, you know, what happened after that and how did you play a role?
Chris King:What was your
Ruthy Williams:role there? Well, let me say this, Chris. I didn't have time to sit in the communication piece of it. I didn't have time for that. I had to what is the next thing?
Ruthy Williams:You know? And that's one thing. Generation x, our mentality is what's the next thing. What do we need to do now? So I didn't even have the time to sit in.
Ruthy Williams:You didn't communicate this to me. And so, again, I didn't find out until about a year or so later of this happening constantly. So when I found out, of course, you know, we made the appointment, and it was a while before you can see an oncologist. And so we got in to see the oncologist, and it that probably took about 3 months or so. And sure enough, he was diagnosed with bladder cancer, which is very rare for a black male at 42 years old at that time.
Ruthy Williams:This is a white male, 70 and up, cancer. So this was unbelievable. Now I did take a moment to sit in that, but it was what do we need to do? So I looked at the doctor, of course, and I said, well, what do we need to do? And so, of course, the first thing he said, well, we've got to get rid of the bladder because too it's been too long.
Ruthy Williams:We can't just go in and scrape out what we need to. It's been we're gonna have to get rid of the bladder completely. And so we went through that surgery. They removed the bladder, and they created what's called a neurobladder. And the neurobladder is when they go into the intestines, take out some of the intestines, and create a bladder.
Ruthy Williams:Woah. So they did that. And after that was which was a an arduous process. It was a long process, but we got through that. And of course, life went on, and boy were we happy again.
Ruthy Williams:We got rid of the cancer. We are moving on. It's time to take a trip and celebrate. Things were going well. I loved, loved, loved my man.
Ruthy Williams:So we were super excited. A year later, cancer came back. Cancer came back. So this is the usual question. What do we need to do?
Ruthy Williams:What do we need to do? I will tell you this. In the middle of all of this, I was looking to god. He was looking to god. We had family.
Ruthy Williams:And when I say family, his family was in Michigan and in Tennessee. Mine was in Fort Lauderdale. But when I tell you all we had family, my church surrounded me and I had never experienced that type of love. Truly put their arms around us during this time, and so that I will never forget.
Chris King:So you you mentioned so many things there. Right? You you're you're talking about what's going on, and it's almost like a roller coaster ride. It's like, yes. Yes.
Chris King:Yes. Let's take trip trips, and we're believing in miracles, and we're, we're believing God, and we see manifestation of that, and then something else happens. What you know, when all hell breaks loose Yeah. Right, a lot of people, we tend to there's there's a couple of things that I'll say spiritual folk do. Right?
Chris King:Some spiritual folk be like, no. No. No. The devil is a lie. Yeah.
Chris King:I don't receive that. Yeah. You know?
Chris King:Not today. You know?
Chris King:And and they get extra spiritual, but there's there's something going on. Let's let's recognize it. Yes. Right now all hell is breaking loose. But then, some people, you know, as you're going through that, you're believing in miracles and something happens again.
Chris King:And I'll never forget my mother used to always say, if it ain't one thing it's another. Lord, if it ain't one thing it's another. Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy. So I want to understand.
Chris King:Take me on that roller coaster ride of your what's going on with your faith. Mhmm. Because the real deal is we get rocked, and it's like, yeah, lord, I believe, but help my unbelief. Right? What do I do with that?
Chris King:Right? Help me understand what was going on and what are those conversations like
Chris King:Yeah.
Chris King:You know, as you're talking to your husband and you're having to deal with being by his side.
Ruthy Williams:So my faith never wavered. During that time, my faith never wavered. Not one time. I believed and knew that god was going to heal him, and I stand behind that today. The scriptures that I leaned on were whatsoever you desire when you pray, believe it in that will you receive.
Ruthy Williams:Healing, I will bring to it. You shall decree a thing and it shall be established. I stood on god's word.
Chris King:Yes.
Ruthy Williams:And I'm so glad that I did because here's the thing and and I don't wanna move past where we're at in the in in the story. Would you realize after a while after you've been walking with God, you realize that God is not a genie in the bottle. You don't come to him rubbing and saying, here's what I want, God. But what you realize, what you hold dear now, the longer you walk with God, you hold dear the story of the 3 Hebrew boys. God didn't snatch them out of the that den, but he stood in there with them.
Ruthy Williams:He went in there with them. And so this is what I look to God for now, not to snatch me out of a situation, not to fix it right away, but to stand with me in
Chris King:it. Amen.
Chris King:That that Amen.
Ruthy Williams:You cannot no one can really know what you're going through, but you in God. I don't care how long you've been married. I don't care if it's your daddy, your mommy. There are some things where it has to be you and God. And the more you walk with God, the more he reveals himself to you on a whole different level.
Ruthy Williams:And the level that I know God now is that he will always he never leaves. He never forsakes. And I'm not trying to preach, but I'm just saying.
Chris King:No. No. No.
Ruthy Williams:No. I serve a good God.
Chris King:You you have to.
Chris King:Right? I serve
Ruthy Williams:a good God.
Chris King:Because there
Chris King:are so many people nowadays that we're looking to circumvent Yeah. The process. God, remove me. Yeah. Deliver me, right, from the what whatever is going on from the circumstance.
Chris King:And what you're saying is that, no. No. No. God didn't always deliver you. He'll develop you while he's walking with you.
Chris King:Right? And so that's really, important that we that that that we focus on that.
Ruthy Williams:Yeah.
Chris King:Because when we're allowing people to try and talk us out of, relying on God in that way, right, it it really hinders our progress and our because we're gonna go there. Right? Yeah. You know we're gonna go there. Yeah.
Chris King:So I I I want to understand though Ruthie
Chris King:Mhmm.
Chris King:Is as we're as you're walking through that and you're never wavering on your faith, what I'm hearing though is that you change your faith helped change your perspective on what you're going through. Yeah. But also there was a change your perspective was changed on what you expected from god. Right? So a lot of times we when we when we've talked about the show, there have been several themes.
Chris King:And one of those themes is your perspective. When you're going through certain things, what is that perspective, and what is it based off of? Yeah. And what you're saying is you anchored your perspective and your expectations on the word of God. Yeah.
Chris King:But there's a process there that you had to fill yourself with the word of god first. Right? And so help us understand for those that are just going through, wandering, and just trying to figure life out and just I'm I'm I'm not happy. I'm going through, and I'm I'm trying to be delivered out of this thing. Yeah.
Chris King:Help us understand what were those things to help build that faith. Mhmm. Right? Because we see we hear those stories. Yeah.
Chris King:We hear of the 3 Hebrew boys. But, you know, their faith was built already when they went in there. So Yeah. So when people are going through, before I get there, how do I build my faith so I can anchor it on God?
Ruthy Williams:Yeah. Yeah. That's a loaded question. Because here's the answer to that based on my experience. First of all, I I probably have a leg up because I am a double p k.
Ruthy Williams:Okay. Mommy and daddy. Mama and daddy. God rest my dad so but, yes, mom and dad. But here's the thing, y'all.
Ruthy Williams:Y'all. The best way to answer that question is these life experiences. It's those things that you're going through that doesn't make any sense, that you really wanna get out of. It's that issue on the job. It's that issue with the spouse.
Ruthy Williams:It's that issue financially. It's those issues that build your faith. After a while, after you've been walking with God for so long, when those issues arise that seem to be problematic, you get to a point where you welcome it because this is an opportunity for me to get closer to god. What I'm realizing the more I walk with him when things are perfect, I guess I could pray tonight, but I'm a little sleepy. Yeah.
Ruthy Williams:But when I'm going through something, I am on my knees. You understand what I'm so you get to the point where you welcome these experiences where it's okay because God's gonna see me through it. So to be honest with you, the best way to deal with that is that it's it's focused focus on the past experiences how god have seen you through. And if he's seen you through that, he'll continue to see you through. But you can't say that unless you've been through some stuff.
Chris King:God has a track record.
Ruthy Williams:You can't say that unless you've experienced him. And so that's that's the best way to do it.
Chris King:So fast forward. Right? And given your intro, you you spoke in the past tense.
Ruthy Williams:Yes.
Chris King:Right? So your past tense said, I loved my husband.
Ruthy Williams:Yeah.
Chris King:Right? So, that lets me know that, you know, something happened along that along that journey. Tell us about what happened and where you are now.
Ruthy Williams:Yeah. Yeah. So really quickly. So, you know, we got the bladder removed. We got it replaced, and everything was going great.
Ruthy Williams:About a year later, it came back, and it moved to a different position. It was in his back. And so we went and got radiation. Radiation, we went through that. Okay.
Ruthy Williams:We're good now. Cancer's gone. Everything is great. All right. Well, 6 months later, came back again.
Ruthy Williams:This time it was in the lymph nodes. So we went and got, chemotherapy, sat through that. There are some people in here who sat with him through chemotherapy. And so that happened. And then finally, it it we got rid of it that time, came back again.
Ruthy Williams:And we're in the process of doing immunotherapy, and he passed away during that time. My church family was right there beside me in the room watching the transition with me, held my hand. And so that was a reminder. That was nothing but God. My my family couldn't be here.
Ruthy Williams:They were in Fort Lauderdale because I had just buried my dad a week before.
Chris King:Wow.
Ruthy Williams:Actually, to to make it very clear, the my dad's funeral was on Friday night. My husband passed away on Sunday. Wow. So I left the funeral, flew back here to hold my husband's hand while he transitioned. And I say this till today.
Ruthy Williams:I don't know that I've ever had a chance to mourn my dad. Wow. Because I had to move on to the next generation net x. We keep moving. We keep moving.
Ruthy Williams:And so that was my experience. And I remember coming into that hospital room. It his daughter was in there, and my daughter was in there when I flew back. And I said, I need you all to leave the room because this was between me and god. So my faith was where it needed to be.
Ruthy Williams:And and and those people will say, you know, well, it's all in your faith. How was your faith? Maybe your faith wasn't no. It wasn't a question about faith. It wasn't a I can honestly say that.
Ruthy Williams:What I can say is that it was an opportunity for me to trust God, to trust God. And so he passed away, and it has been 8 years now. It's been 8 years, and there's so much of him that I remember all of the time. But I think the main thing was that how he touched so many lives. This man wasn't just an or a ordinary man.
Ruthy Williams:He was an angel on earth. And so I'm thankful that for that experience and I'm thankful that God chose me to walk with him through that journey because I was truly a vessel.
Chris King:You know, Ruthie, we we started this season Yeah. Talking about, turning your worst days into your better days. Right? And we we've talked about loss. Yeah.
Chris King:Right? And that can be a heavy topic.
Ruthy Williams:Yeah.
Chris King:Right? It could be a heavy topic. But, you know, what I get from you, what I see from you is a joy, from the opportunity to one to have experienced love from from him in such a way. But to have experienced the love of God during that process that was also demonstrated through your church family. Yeah.
Chris King:And that one of the things I always tell people, in this show, we do want to make sure that people get practical tips on how to succeed and thrive doing life's toughest challenges. But one of the things I want people to know and one of the things I've always been a champion for is for you to experience more, more, more, more, more, the love of God, the just whether it's, you know, just direct through prayer, whether it's through worship, whether it's through, interaction with with other godly people that's that's that's continuing to to stand with you and fill you with the love of God because it's those experiences that help you understand that no matter what life throws at me
Chris King:Yeah.
Chris King:I can get through this because I know God is with me. And I see a joy about you
Ruthy Williams:Oh, yeah.
Chris King:That is not just, that's not just a glow. Mhmm. Right? That's not just, a redemptive joy, but it's a joy that invites others that says, come hear my story, come hear my testimony. My faith never wavered and it may not have, yes, I would have wanted more time with him, but I'm just so thankful.
Ruthy Williams:Yeah.
Chris King:And so, I want people to get a glimpse of what that joy is about and how how how you how you have been how you have seen the redemptive love of God just show up after that in those 8 years.
Chris King:Mhmm.
Chris King:Because it's about
Chris King:you know,
Chris King:I don't care what you're going through. Right? I don't care what's happening. You know? It it the the redemptive power, the redemptive love.
Chris King:I mean, when we've talked about loss, we've talked about miracles on this show where, we we've seen things taking place.
Ruthy Williams:Yeah.
Chris King:During this journey, you've seen what was a miracle in the cancer being eradicated, but then coming back. But there's a joy about you, Ruthie. And that's what I want to just really explore, and I just want people to understand. How did Ruthie just come up from the ashes of life and just now she's able to scream from the mountain tops like, I love my god, and I know that he's with me. I know he loves me.
Chris King:And just like he loves me, he loves you too.
Ruthy Williams:Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's good. That's good.
Ruthy Williams:I like that.
Chris King:Oh, yeah. Okay. Alright. Alright.
Ruthy Williams:Oh, man.
Chris King:And the church said Amen.
Chris King:There we go. Mad. Oh. What? You know Alright.
Ruthy Williams:You know you know what worked for me? I figured out I figured out where to meet god, and and I'm talking about in the natural. Yeah. We can meet him anywhere spiritually. I could be sitting you could be sitting here praying right now, but I figured out where to go and meet him.
Ruthy Williams:And so everyone should figure out a place where to go. So for me, it was taking nature walks. I spent a lot of time taking nature walks because that was my time with god looking at the beauty that he made and how everything was natural just from the ground. And so I figured out how where to meet God. And so I believe that everyone needs to have that space.
Ruthy Williams:So after it probably went on for years of just meeting God, I just kept getting up. I kept getting up. I kept receiving the love. I kept receiving the support. I kept seeing God in everything that I was doing.
Ruthy Williams:And he continued to elevate me not only through my faith, but through friendships, through different relationships, through my career, through deciding to go back to school and and and get your graduate degree. It was so many different things. And now to where I'm an adjunct professor, it's so many things that god continues to just elevate me the more that I walk with him. And I'm gonna share this one last thing. Every time I pray, I hear the same answer.
Ruthy Williams:It's a yes, but give it time. It's always the same answer. If you ever go to God, don't worry about it being a no. It's a yes, give it time. And so that's what I've learned.
Chris King:There we go, good deal, now I'm a spin it, I'm a turn the corner a little bit.
Ruthy Williams:Alright, let's spin it.
Chris King:Now I'm about to throw 1 at you, are you ready?
Ruthy Williams:Oh oh
Chris King:oh oh oh oh oh oh
Ruthy Williams:oh oh here we go, here we go. I'm gonna throw
Chris King:1 at you all, all that is good. Yeah. Alright. And you look put together.
Ruthy Williams:I'll take it.
Chris King:Okay. You look you look put together. What were the mistakes you made at that time? What what what what were your screw ups at at that time? Oh, yeah.
Chris King:Right?
Ruthy Williams:Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Chris King:Because we have people out there. They're going through something. Mhmm. And some people are just doing some some they're screwing up, and they may not know it at the time. Right?
Chris King:Because it may feel good. Yeah. Right? And I know when I lost my mother, when I was in school, oh, man. I I I yeah.
Ruthy Williams:Yeah.
Chris King:Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. I I made a lot of mistakes. Yeah.
Chris King:Right? So help us understand, you know, and I'll talk to to talk to some of those mistakes that, you know, we may make, men may make sometimes, but what were some of your mess ups during that time? Because I know you ain't having, you know.
Ruthy Williams:No, no, sir. Not even close. So, and really I wanna talk to the women on this. Sometimes we have a man who is so gentle and so caring, so compassionate, so patient that we sometimes as women don't even realize what we have. Because this man is so nice, you almost take it for granted.
Ruthy Williams:And so during that time, I didn't exercise my nurturing abilities like I needed to. I didn't show compassion as much as I needed to. Looking back on it, there were some other things that I could have done, been more patient, waited on him hand and foot a little bit more. I just didn't know how to take care of someone that was sick at that magnitude. I didn't know what what he was really going through because he wasn't someone that would really explain it.
Ruthy Williams:But even with that, he didn't need to explain it. I needed to know this was a diagnosis, and this is what cancer looks like. But I didn't looking back on it, I could have been more nurturing. I could have been more compassionate. I could have been
Chris King:just a better nurse. So are those regrets or lessons learned?
Ruthy Williams:Lessons learned.
Chris King:What's the difference?
Ruthy Williams:The difference the regret is when you look at a regret, you're saying that I didn't do this and that's that. Lesson learned means I'm now implementing those things. It may not be at a magnitude of dealing with cancer, but I'm implementing those things as a woman. What I'm understanding now is what does feminine, being a feminine woman look like? Femininity is so important to me now.
Ruthy Williams:And that does mean being more nurturing. That does mean being more compassionate. That does mean that we don't need to speak on level 10. Whatever it is that we're trying to get across, we can speak on level 1 and get that across. And so I'm learning now, because of that experience, how to be more feminine, more nurturing, more so to me, that's a lesson learned, not just the, oh, I should've done that and I didn't take that experience and become this person now.
Ruthy Williams:And so that
Chris King:That also sounds like a level of maturity.
Ruthy Williams:Absolutely.
Chris King:So but there and the reason why I asked you that question, you didn't know I was gonna ask you that.
Ruthy Williams:I did. I did that.
Chris King:So I'm glad you had an
Chris King:answer. Right.
Ruthy Williams:Right.
Chris King:So, given that, there are a lot of people that are living with regret. Mhmm. Right? Because I I'm the middle child of 3 boys. And when my mother passed away, we all had different experiences with her.
Chris King:Right? I had recently had a, an argument argument with my mother. Then I get the call that, hey. You need to come home. Mama not doing good.
Chris King:She's not gonna make it, and I never saw her again. Right? Never talked to her again. Right? Then now then my younger brother, he had another experience with her.
Chris King:My older brother had another experience with her. And we're dealing with those things differently, and and each of us may have had our arguments and our fights Yeah. But some of us may be living with regret, while others may be looking at lessons learned. Mhmm. What's how did you come away with it as this is lesson learned as opposed to living with regret?
Ruthy Williams:Yeah. Yeah. So let's be clear. After everything happened, I absolutely went to 1 on 1 therapy, but I also went to group therapy as well.
Chris King:Y'all go get help.
Ruthy Williams:Okay. I went to group therapy. And by the way, group therapy is amazing because you get a chance to sit there and be like, oh, she really is screwed up. I'm not doing that bad. Right?
Ruthy Williams:So so but, so during group therapy, they said something that was so I I took it with me, and I'll never forget it. They said, never do not should on yourself. Don't should on yourself, meaning, I should've done this. I should've done that. I should've I should've.
Ruthy Williams:Don't should on yourself. So whatever has happened, take that lesson, implement it into who you are today because those are all life lessons. And I promise you one thing about God, he's gonna give you another opportunity to implement that thing. He's gonna give you an opportunity to really show, did you really learn anything from that experience? So you'll have that opportunity to do that, but you can't live in regret because regret is going to leave you stagnant.
Ruthy Williams:You can't move forward in regret. You can't have that life that you really want in regret regret. So you've got to learn how to forgive yourself for those things. But forgiving yourself doesn't just mean, okay, I did it and it is what it is. No.
Ruthy Williams:Forgiving yourself means these were some mistakes that I've made. I've made mistakes in life. Now how do I take this and build upon that and become this person that I am today? So, yeah, absolutely. Do not live in regret because regret will just hold you back.
Chris King:Yeah. And a lot of people tend to blame themselves Mhmm. During that during whatever's going on. Right? Whether it's a financial, hardship.
Chris King:Now there may be things that you could have done differently. Yes. Absolutely. And, you know, some things, yeah, maybe your fault. Yes.
Chris King:Right? Yeah. You know, losing your house, gambling debt, okay, that's your fault. But, okay, we have to I've I've learned that you have to take grace with you. Right?
Chris King:And that's the biggest thing. When my mother used to always say, lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. You know, it was one thing that I'm like, you know, I I would think I'm like, alright. You always crying for the mercy of God.
Chris King:God just, you know, lord, have mercy. And as I got older, I was like, Lord, give me grace. You know, I I I understand grace and mercy are different, but Lord, I'm I I want to experience your grace.
Chris King:Mhmm.
Chris King:Right? As as I I know as I'm going through this, I want to be able to receive your grace, extend it to myself, and extend it to others. Mhmm.
Chris King:I
Chris King:don't wanna always be crying at the feet of of God saying, remove me from this, and and rescue me from this. But Lord, give me grace to give me strength during this time. Give me the capacity to to do what I need to do during to give give me the capacity to be courageous, to to have the strength to go forward. Give me the the words to say even if it means speaking to myself, God. Give me grace, god.
Chris King:And so I've learned that I've had to take grace with
Chris King:me.
Chris King:During the time, some of my toughest seasons, I started drinking, took pills, tried to kill myself, You name it. Mistakes.
Chris King:Right? Mhmm.
Chris King:Sleeping with folks. Right? Trying to self medicate. Right? Those are all kinds of mistakes that really just eat up at our core.
Chris King:Mhmm. Right? And so, you know, those are things that men may do and other may do trying to self medicate during a a time of struggle and chaos. But God give me grace.
Chris King:Mhmm.
Chris King:And it's the grace of God that I take with me every single Yeah. Day. So now, Ruthie, as you have this redemptive joy about you, right, it's like, you know, I received the you received the grace of God. I received the grace of God. Yeah.
Chris King:And now I know that I've gone through what has been my hell. You have gone through what has been your hell. All hell has broken loose, and you are standing strong, proud, joyful, wonderful, doing ministry, helping others, slapping folks, slapping the devil all day long, everything,
Chris King:bro. I'm telling you. Hallelujah.
Chris King:Yes. Grace of God, Ruthie. And I just wanna let people know that just the grace of God is just so powerful that you can just receive it and just understand as Ruthie said, God may not remove you from the situation, but he will walk with you through it. Mhmm. That's all I need to know.
Chris King:Yeah. And then surround yourself with loving people that can demonstrate the love of god that don't want nothing from you, just want everything for you. Oh man, Ruthie. Yeah. My my my hope is that everybody can experience that type of love.
Ruthy Williams:Yeah. Yeah.
Chris King:I want them to experience more of it. Yeah. And whatever I gotta do
Chris King:Yeah.
Chris King:If I gotta do a podcast Yeah. And talk about this at the end of season 1, and then come back and then give y'all some more in season 2, season 3, 4, 5, 6 Okay. Yes. 9 Jim Davis. Yes.
Chris King:You know what I'm saying?
Chris King:Yes. Yeah.
Chris King:You You gotta do all
Ruthy Williams:that work. Absolutely.
Chris King:Our job is to allow his light to shine through us. And I'm so happy because I know this was tough. Yeah. I'm so happy. You agreed to tell your story in this public form and you were obedient.
Chris King:So, Ruth, any last parting words before we wrap up?
Ruthy Williams:Yeah. So just to piggyback on something that you've mentioned about grace. I'm so thankful that God gives us grace even in those moments. When we talk about, hey, maybe there was some heavy drinking, maybe there was some things that we should have been taking pills, out there doing what we're not supposed to be doing. But I'm thankful that God gives us grace even through that.
Ruthy Williams:And I'm not condoning that, but what I'm saying is that God is so good and so big that he graces us even through those times and gives us time to circle back around to him because we will always circle back around to him. So I'm thankful for the grace in those moments. And so I so I just wanted to piggyback on what you're saying, and then I just wanna leave everyone with this. Allow yourself to grow in Christ. Allow yourself to go to the next level in him because he ought to be changing for you.
Ruthy Williams:The higher the the more you're in contact with him, the more you talk that relationship ought to be changing for you. You ought to not be babies in Christ forever. Okay? The word says that. So allow yourself to meet him where he is, where he's taking you next.
Ruthy Williams:Allow yourself to have that relationship and grow in that way. And it may not look like the norm. It may look a little different, but that is your relationship with God. And so that's that's what I wanna leave with you.
Chris King:Amen. Yeah. Now I wanna just thank you, Ruthie, once again. Now we're gonna sit here and we're gonna start wrapping up this this segment of the show, but we're gonna answer questions. We want you to ask your questions.
Chris King:For those that are here in person, in the live audience, definitely, if you have a question, raise your hand. Now for those that are watching us online, there's a QR code that you can scan to ask questions. We will answer your questions. Just keep them coming. We want you to get your questions answered.
Chris King:We don't want you to go through life struggling without any help and without any any answers. So I just wanna thank everybody that has tuned in thus far. We gonna get ready to answer questions. I wanna thank all of you that have tuned in, all of my studio audience. I wanna thank our partners here at Soulit and everybody abroad.
Chris King:I want you to go tell your friends, tell your neighbors, even tell your enemies, but
Chris King:tell them we love to come check us out
Chris King:at the When All Hell Breaks Loose podcast. I'm your boy, Chris King,
Chris King:and we gonna keep doing this thing. This is the end of season 1, but we're not gonna stop. We gonna keep going, and y'all keep following us. Like and subscribe, and check us out at the
Chris King:Win on Hell Breaks News podcast. I'm out. Y'all be blessed.