Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Welcome to Happening in Henderson, the weekly show where hosts Mark and Joleen serve up Henderson’s news with equal parts insight, cynicism, and sharp-edged humor. From local headlines and community events to crime updates, school district drama, weather forecasts, sports highlights, and brutally honest restaurant reviews, nothing is off limits.
Whether you’re a lifelong local or new to the 890xx life, this is the place to stay informed… without falling asleep.
MARK: Welcome to 'Happening in Henderson', the only podcast that acknowledges this city is just a collection of beige houses held together by spite and extremely expensive air conditioning. It's Tuesday, May 26, 2026, and I'm Mark, your composed voice of reason while the world outside slowly turns into a literal convection oven.
JOLEEN: And I'm Joleen, your upbeat source for cynical commentary on why our local infrastructure is basically three raccoons in a trench coat. It's Tuesday, we've survived Memorial Day, and if you're not already sweating through your shirt like a dickhead, you're probably not actually in Henderson right now. We've got a massive show today, so buckle the fuck up.
MARK: Before we dive into the misery, you can reach us at henderson@thehappeningnetwork.com to tell us how much you hate our voices or to suggest a topic. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and comment, or whatever the hell people do to feel seen these days. Let's talk about the headlines, because apparently, we've decided to lean into the 'desert circus' aesthetic this week.
JOLEEN: Honestly, the highlight of my weekend wasn't the barbecue or the inevitable sunburn. It was the Henderson Memorial Day ceremony at Cornerstone Park where they had Moses and Abraham, the famous local camels, leading the procession with American flags. It's so uniquely Nevada to think, 'How do we honor the fallen? I know, giant desert mammals with humps and flags.' I love it, but I also hate how much sense it makes.
MARK: It's a little bit on the nose, isn't it? We live in a desert, here's a camel, now feel patriotic. At least it's better than the giant 300-foot-wide flag they draped over the Hoover Dam for the nation's 250th birthday. It's 150 feet tall and illuminated with red, white, and blue lights. I'm sure the fish are thrilled about the light pollution, but it looks impressive if you're into that sort of massive-scale signaling.
JOLEEN: Oh, shut the fuck up, Mark, it's cool. But speaking of things that aren't cool, let's talk about the nightmare that is the RideCo app. If you're a paratransit rider in Henderson, you've basically been stranded because the app has been failing for months. People are missing doctor's appointments because some tech CEO can't get his shit together. It's truly a nightmare for locals who rely on this service to, you know, actually live their lives.
MARK: It's the classic Silicon Valley 'move fast and break things' approach, except the things they're breaking are the schedules of disabled people. It's a disaster. And while we're on the subject of systems that are fundamentally broken, the Nevada prison system is currently having a mid-life crisis over execution drugs. Apparently, they don't have any, which is a weirdly specific supply chain issue to have in 2026.
JOLEEN: Maybe they should check eBay. No, seriously, the state is caught in this loop where they want to keep the execution chamber at Ely ready but can't find the chemicals. It's the kind of dark, bureaucratic irony that keeps me caffeinated. It's edgy, it's provocative, and it's exactly what you'd expect from a state that's constantly debating if we should just desalinate the ocean to keep our fountains running in the middle of a drought.
MARK: Desalination? Right, because piping water from the Pacific is definitely more realistic than people just turning off their sprinklers for five minutes. Let's shift to crime, because Henderson is trying real hard to keep its 'safest city' title while people are out here crashing golf carts in Lake Las Vegas. Yes, a suspected DUI golf cart crash sent someone to the hospital this morning. Who the fuck gets drunk and totals a golf cart on a Tuesday?
JOLEEN: Retirees with too much time and Gin, Mark. It's the Henderson dream. But there's actual serious shit too. Police are still digging into a homicide that happened just east of the Strip, and they've been clearing out homeless encampments in the east-valley wash near Flamingo and Cambridge. The county spent fifteen million dollars on this project, and the sheriff is basically saying, 'Move or go to jail'. It's a harsh way to start the summer.
MARK: It's a persistent issue that nobody has a real answer for, so we just move the tents and hope the problem disappears like my hairline. Now, for something that'll make every parent in the valley cringe. The Clark County School District is celebrating the Class of 2026 right now, which is great, but the safety data they just released is absolute dog shit. Over 340 student pedestrians have been hit by cars this school year alone.
JOLEEN: That's more than the last three years combined! What the fuck are we doing? Are we just treating school zones like the qualifying rounds for the Indy 500? Superintendent Ebert is out here touting academic gains and higher graduation rates, which is fine, I guess, but it's hard to study for your SATs when you're being launched into the stratosphere by a distracted driver in a Suburban.
MARK: The district is also tightening up background checks for vendors and contractors on campus, which sounds like something they should've been doing since, oh, I don't know, forever? It's all part of this new safety push because apparently, a few bad apples in the staff and a whole lot of reckless drivers have made the 'halls of learning' feel more like 'the gauntlet of survival'.
JOLEEN: Well, if your kid survives the walk home, maybe take them to Hayworth Kitchen for a decent meal. It's the new steakhouse that just opened at Horizon Ridge and Stephanie. Chef Alex Reznik, who you might know from 'Top Chef', is running the show. It's supposed to be an elevated community spot where adults can have a martini and a ribeye without feeling like they're in a tacky chain restaurant, and the kids actually get real food instead of frozen nuggets.
MARK: A martini for the ladies and scotch for the men, as the owner says. It's a very '1950s but make it modern' vibe. The pastry chef, Milos, is supposedly one of the best in the country, so I expect the deconstructed Black Forest cake to be better than my last three relationships. It's a bold move to open a 'slightly elevated' spot right now, but hey, if we're going down, we might as well do it with a side of hamachi.
JOLEEN: If you want something less fancy, Keke's Breakfast Cafe just opened their second spot on St. Rose Parkway. It's all about brunch, which is perfect for people who want to feel productive while being absolutely useless. But let's talk about the real winners this week. The Vegas Golden Knights are absolutely curb-stomping the Colorado Avalanche in the Western Conference Finals. They lead the series 3-0, Mark!
MARK: It's unreal. Game 3 was a masterpiece of chaos. They were down 3-0 in the first period and I almost turned the TV off in a fit of composed rage. Then they scored five unanswered goals to win 5-3. Mark Stone is back and looking like a god, and John Tortorella, who only took over with eight games left in the season, is somehow coaching this team like a man possessed. Game 4 is tonight at the Fortress, and the sweep is looking very real.
JOLEEN: Colorado looks completely disjointed. Nathan MacKinnon and Cale Makar are both banged up, and they've lost their swagger. It's like watching a luxury car break down on the I-11. I love seeing the despair in the eyes of their fans. It feeds my soul. If the Knights win tonight, we're going back to the Stanley Cup Final, and I might actually have to crack a smile for once.
MARK: Don't hurt yourself, Joleen. If sports aren't your thing, there's a ton of community stuff coming up. The Henderson Equality Center is hosting a Pride Youth Prom on June 5th at their West Sunset location. It's free and a great resource for the kids. Plus, June is packed with Juneteenth festivals on Water Street and the usual Farmers Market for all you people who like to buy overpriced organic kale.
JOLEEN: Hey, that kale is locally sourced from someone's backyard, probably. If you're looking for bigger events, No Doubt is playing at the Sphere next week on June 3rd, and Jerry Seinfeld is coming to the Caesars palace area on the 26th. There's also a 'Living Well Senior Expo' at Sun City MacDonald Ranch on June 5th. It's coffee and donuts for seniors, which is basically the Henderson version of a rave.
MARK: A rave where everyone goes home by 1 PM. Sounds perfect. Now, let's talk about the weather, because the '100 Deadliest Days' of summer aren't just about the driving. Today it's a relatively pleasant 91 degrees, but don't get comfortable. We're looking at a steady climb. By next Tuesday, June 2nd, we'll be hitting 102. The UV index is a 7, which means you'll turn into a lobster in about fifteen minutes if you don't wear sunscreen.
JOLEEN: It's that dry, Mojave heat that makes your skin feel like parchment paper. The forecast shows nothing but sun and misery for the next ten days. We're officially entering the 'I'm not leaving the house' phase of the year. And if you do leave the house, you're going to hit road construction because the city loves us and wants us to be late for everything.
MARK: The Carnegie Street Parking Project starts today, May 26th. They're upgrading Carnegie from Green Valley Parkway to Paseo Verde. Expect lane shifts and construction noise that'll make you want to drive your car into a wash. Also, the I-215 widening project is still doing its nightly torture routine between Pecos and Stephanie from 9 PM to 6 AM. They're paving and installing storm drains, so the speed limit is down to 55.
JOLEEN: And don't forget the light shields! People have been complaining that the new LED lights on the 215 are so bright they're basically a surgical theater. The city is doing a study, but they won't actually install shields until the second half of the year. So for now, just enjoy the free retiral scan while you're trying to merge onto the beltway. It's fine. Everything's fine.
MARK: Lastly, the real estate market. It's in this weird state of suspended animation. The volume of sales is up about 41 percent since the spring, but the median price is staying flat at around 500,000 dollars. There's a massive 40,000 dollar gap between what people are asking for their houses and what they're actually getting. It's a standoff, and the buyers aren't flinching.
JOLEEN: Good! Sellers have been acting like they're selling the Taj Mahal when it's really just a three-bedroom in Green Valley with a dying palm tree. Homes are sitting for an average of 62 days now. It's a balanced market, which is real estate speak for 'everyone is equally frustrated'. If you're looking to buy, you've actually got some leverage for once. Use it to buy more sunscreen.
MARK: And on that note of market parity and skin cancer, that's our show. We've survived another Tuesday in Henderson. Remember to check out the Knights game tonight and stay hydrated, because the desert doesn't care about your plans. I'm Mark, still composed, still sweating.
JOLEEN: And I'm Joleen, still cynical and waiting for the 102-degree heat to melt my car tires. Like, subscribe, and email us at henderson@thehappeningnetwork.com. Don't be an asshole on the 215 today, Henderson. We're watching you. Goodbye.