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We're about to embark on a mind-blowing journey of self-discovery and empowerment.
Demystifying and presenting new perspectives has always given me an incredible thrill, and that's how a book was born... From the book to the podcast, it was a lightning-fast decision so that even more people can contemplate and reevaluate their perspectives and paths, always debating because silence implies consent. Here, I want to first teach you to be conscious in your life, then to master your life, and finally, to create a Plan to live life to the fullest.
And let me tell you, it's going to be absolutely exhilarating!
Get ready to shatter those old beliefs, embrace your true potential, and design a life that will make you jump out of bed every morning with a gleam in your eye. It's time to seize the reins of your destiny and create a masterpiece out of every moment.
So, are you ready to dive headfirst into the adventure of a lifetime? Let's go!
I am a portuguese therapist with over 30 years experience and this podcast is written, planned, edited and produced by myself.
Learn more at: https://mportela.live
Did you know that over 46% of the world's population is in an abusive relationship with a partner or family member? Oh, quite a staggering number, isn't it? But hold on, because here comes an even juicier stat: more than 80% of the global population is in an abusive relationship with themselves - and most of them haven't even realized it yet!
Today, we won't be talking about those abusive relationships with others... well, not just yet. Today, I bring you the ultimate fear of self-abusers: the Mirror of Truth!
If you have a mirror nearby, go ahead, take a look at yourself, really see yourself... look deep into your own eyes... it might be a tough pill to swallow, huh?
Mirror, mirror on the wall... who's the meanest of them all but myself?
I am Mário Portela... Welcome to the fifth episode of my podcast, and I've virtually placed the mirror right in front of you... Let's reflect together, shall we?!
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Mirror, mirror on the wall...
The Mirror is now the ultimate tool for knowledge. Go ahead, if you can, either right now or after this fantastic podcast, and face yourself in the mirror. The best way to find out if you're being too hard on yourself is to look in that mirror and imagine your reflection as another person treating you the way you treat yourself with your thoughts.
Oh, just imagine how you'd feel if your reflection spoke to you the way you talk to yourself mentally! And what if it were a friend treating you the same way you treat yourself, would you stand for it? Now, what if your reflection ignored or neglected you just as you do to yourself every day? Look at yourself! How would you feel if a partner treated you like that?
And let's not even mention the judgment you're making of yourself as you look. What if your reflection came to life and judged you the same way you judge yourself mentally? What if it were a coworker or a stranger, passing the same harsh judgments on you for what you do?
In most cases, if people treated you the way you treat yourself, you'd feel "abused," insulted, "violated," "oppressed," "wronged"... and you'd be absolutely right to feel that way. It's not okay for anyone to treat us abusively! But why do you think you have the right to do that to yourself? Have you noticed how much it stifles and self-destructs you?
Moving on to the next point: The Mindset of an Abuser.
Oh, what's next? I can't stop thinking and seeing things!
Well, it might not seem like a big deal to realize that you're abusing yourself. But pause for a moment and trust me on this, since you clearly don't trust yourself: it's really, REALLY terrible that you accept this, that you willingly subject yourself to abuse!
The harm we unconsciously inflict upon ourselves manifests in our lives, affecting the opportunities we have and the challenges we lose. When this self-abuse becomes a daily routine, sooner or later, your health will show it, you'll wither away, suffer psychosomatic issues, implode... and from there, it's just a small step until you're spending tons of money on medications and remedies.
Is that truly what you want for yourself?
Yes, it's true that self-abuse is a natural consequence of living in society, especially in our current and decaying model of society. Suppressing self-love, surrendering to others, creating a false humility that becomes submission and stagnation, turning us into yet another social automaton.
We discover that we don't love ourselves, that we instinctively treat ourselves poorly, neglecting our minds, our energy, and even our physical well-being.
I've mentioned this in previous episodes, but it's worth repeating: we are trained to be what others tell us to be. The real reason why many people don't like themselves and struggle with self-love and self-esteem issues is that we've been conditioned to do so since birth. We're taught to fear from the first "No," and we're constantly compelled to prove our worth in comparison to others or some arbitrary standard. This happens daily and relentlessly, as if we needed to prove our value to receive love and validation. This dynamic creates a secret and unconscious feeling of inadequacy within each of us, mercilessly attacking our self-confidence.
LOVE YOURSELF, BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT'S IMPORTANT!
If you can't remember that you're worthy of receiving unconditional love, then brace yourself, because giving yourself that same unconditional love will be an impossible feat!
You'll end up losing faith in yourself, and boy, the results will be simply devastating in your oh-so-fabulous life. It's crystal clear that being stuck in this abusive relationship with yourself affects everything: your actions, your thoughts, your speech, your moves, your hiding skills, and even your fabulous displays! Oh, and let's not forget the way you entertain those oh-so-toxic thoughts and let other people's toxicity lead the way.
Neglecting our Inner Self is like committing a major offense against our Superior Self. We're talking about abandoning your desires, your needs, and on the flip side, sacrificing your integrity and sanity, turning yourself into a walking negativity hotspot, while your ability to find joy, peace, and happiness vanishes into thin air.
Oh, and hold on, this delightful combo of chronic toxic self-judgment with a pinch of self-love destruction is like having a self-abuse party! But hey, that's not all, because it also sets the stage for other forms of abuse, where you allow others to take advantage of you. Yep, you've got it right! Abusing yourself is like sending an open invitation for the whole world to treat you like a punching bag!
If you really want to stop the abuse from others, it's high time you put an end to the abuse towards yourself! Like seriously, do you fancy having something in life? Health, fame, fortune, love, or whatever? Well, guess what? To achieve, possess, and feel any of that someday, you've got to freaking believe that you deserve it!
Oh, and in case you didn't know, the Universe, or your creator, or God, or whatever you choose to call it, didn't set the price tag on you. That's right, buddy, you are the ultimate authority on your own worth!
Now, take a good look at yourself! Do you seriously think you're some kind of product that others can rate and slap a price on? The so-called Universe delivers to you exactly what you believe you deserve because deep down, my friend, the Universe is none other than you!
Don't you dare think that you can manipulate the Universe by repeating positive affirmations like a broken record on the internet! Nope, that's not positivity! And don't even try to pretend that you can fool the Universe by claiming you deserve this and that while secretly abusing yourself behind closed doors. The Universe will treat you precisely the way you treat yourself, so watch out!
So, go ahead, chant that you deserve a perfect partner, an abundance of everything, and even the darn jackpot! Repeat it until you turn blue, but here's the cold, hard truth: what really matters is what you genuinely believe you deserve, and that's all about your relationship with yourself! Oh, and just to make it crystal clear, you can't shower yourself with affirmations in the morning and then spend the rest of the day bashing your own self-esteem, judging yourself, and wallowing in self-doubt. Nope, that's just not how it works!
People who truly know their worth, who embrace that unconditional love, don't engage in self-judgment, self-criticism, or self-disrespect. They don't neglect themselves, hurl insults at their reflection, or prioritize everyone else's needs above their own. Nope, they rock that self-love game like a boss!
And let me tell you something magical: once you genuinely believe that your dreams are meant to come true, it will undoubtedly reflect in the way you treat yourself, how you speak to yourself, and the amount of self-love you lavish upon yourself.
Hey, guess what? Your thoughts and words are like commands in the world of unconscious mental programs! The way you talk to yourself has a massive impact on your quality of life, so why not sprinkle it with some positivity and self-love magic, huh?
So, folks, it's time to embrace that self-love, to treat yourselves with the respect and care you deserve, and believe me, life will be so much more enchanting when you truly love yourself!
HOW TO END THIS ABUSE!
Oh, dear audience, let me ask you this: if you were to meet yourself today, would you be your own best friend? Can you honestly answer "yes" to these two questions? Oh, it's quite the challenge, isn't it?
Now, brace yourselves for the shocking truth! There's no fancy course, top-secret formula, or miraculous pill to magically put an end to this abusive relationship you have with yourself. We've learned it all, my friends, by imitating the behaviors of our dear family members and caregivers, mimicking society's daily injections through media channels, following the trends and fads of the moment, and mindlessly parroting the nonsense spouted by those pesky social media networks. Yes, we're all in this together!
But fear not! Fear not, for there's hope, my dear listeners! It's all about taking one step at a time, just like those self-loving gurus who had to practice, change, and repeat. Every. Single. Day.
So, what's the magical solution, you ask? Well, there are some useful therapies for such cases, and in this setting, I professionally do my part through psychotherapy, cognitive therapy, neuro-linguistic programming, coaching, and even some of those mysterious esoteric techniques. Oh, yes, it's the full package! But beware, my friends, beware, for in this day and age, we are easy prey for charlatans, swindlers, and inventors of fake cures!
But fear not, for I shall impart my wisdom unto you, my lovely audience, so you can bask in the glory of self-improvement:
1. Speak Kindly - Replace self-judgment with an encouraging inner dialogue. Talk to yourself as you wish others would talk to you. Become your very own best friend, once and for all!
2. Set Boundaries - Confront anyone and anything that crosses those boundaries, and don't be afraid to redefine and make them perfectly visible to others. Teach them how to treat you properly!
3. Embrace Yourself - Oh, we've been indoctrinated by the social machine of fear and repression, believing that taking care of ourselves is selfish. Ha! Love yourself, have confidence in yourself, for that is the absolute foundation of a fulfilling life. Your most crucial goal is to find balance, to discover your true self, and to shower yourself with care. Nourish yourself with quality food, drink ample water, get proper sleep, enjoy leisure time, and pamper your physical and mental well-being!
4. Express Your Feelings - Speak the truth, embrace your emotions, experiment with your talents, do what you love, and have fun with it!
5. Get Emotional - Oh, yes, follow your emotional needs generously. Approve of your actions, applaud your achievements, accept who you are, respect your past, and trust your future. Let those emotions flow freely; you can never be too good to yourself!
6. Listen to Your Inner Self - Sure, spiritual guides and neuro-linguistic programming professionals can be helpful, but the real answers you seek lie within your inner self. Venture inside, listen to your intuition, for your inner self possesses unimaginable wisdom!
7. Treat Yourself Like Royalty - Imagine if a prince or a head of state were to visit your home. Oh, how you would prepare and respect them! Well, my dear friends, that's how you must treat yourself, at the very least!
Now, some might think it's normal to criticize and abuse ourselves, but let me tell you, it's not! Today, you have the power to believe in yourself without needing proof, validation, permission, or scientific studies. Simply choose to believe, seize the reins of your unconditional self-love, and consciously rule your life.
LOVE YOURSELF, AND LIFE WILL LOVE YOU BACK!
FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF
Life undoubtedly has its fair share of difficult moments and adversities. Oh, how delightful it is to witness people indulging in violence, unwarranted criticism, judgments, and self-righteousness during consultations or therapy sessions! And to witness how they are poisoning themselves with their own lack of vision and resilience... It's truly heartwarming! I just wish I could shake them to help them see the light.
LIFE DOESN'T PULL THE RUG FROM UNDER YOUR FEET SO YOU CAN FALL, BUT RATHER SO YOU CAN FEEL THE GROUND!
No matter who you are or what situation you find yourself in, there are always things you should be grateful for. There are always reasons to rekindle our passion for our true selves, just as we are! You've been through so much, yet here you still stand!
We've all faced adversities. We've all plunged into problems and wallowed in self-pity daily. Whether life has been a constant struggle or an easy ride, we've all experienced things that hurt us, knocked us down, and made us want to give up. But guess what? We're still here, ready to take on whatever comes our way. Be proud of that!
Look at yourself, still capable... Do you realize that you are the one defining who you are?
Absolutely! It's time to show the world who you are, and you don't even need to rush. Forget about what others think or say, because the true importance lies in what YOU think and believe.
With this message, I'll leave you today, and I won't go on because I believe I've given you enough material to embark on a profound journey of self-discovery and self-respect.
Take that mirror in your hands and get to work... you deserve it, don't you think?
If you've listened this far, it's surely because you're ready to respect yourself and put an end to the abuse. Otherwise, you'd have shattered the mirror and returned to a religiously sick life, which, by the way, will be the theme of our next podcast. And for being here, I offer my sincerest and deepest gratitude, sprinkled with a smile.