One of the most essential ingredients to success in business and life is effective communication.
Join Matt Abrahams, best-selling author and Strategic Communication lecturer at Stanford Graduate School of Business, as he interviews experts to provide actionable insights that help you communicate with clarity, confidence, and impact. From handling impromptu questions to crafting compelling messages, Matt explores practical strategies for real-world communication challenges.
Whether you’re navigating a high-stakes presentation, perfecting your email tone, or speaking off the cuff, Think Fast, Talk Smart equips you with the tools, techniques, and best practices to express yourself effectively in any situation. Enhance your communication skills to elevate your career and build stronger professional relationships.
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Matt Abrahams: Hi, Matt here.
Being put on the spot and
having to communicate in the
moment can be really stressful.
In celebration of the two year anniversary
of my book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter:
How to Speak Successfully When Put on
the Spot, we're going back into our
vault for a Rethinks episode where I
speak with Jenny Luna, our original
executive producer, about ways to
feel more comfortable and confident
when you have to speak in the moment.
Before we start the episode though,
I wanted to quickly share that while
I learned a ton writing the book, I
am amazed at how much I continue to
learn from readers all over the world
who share their stories and successes
since reading or listening to the book.
Beyond the English edition, the book
is now in fifteen other languages.
I thank all of you for taking the
time to learn from the book, and I am
thrilled that so many people around
the world are working to hone and
develop their spontaneous speaking.
Thank you, and on with the show.
I gotta admit, I'm both
excited and a little nervous.
I'm in the hot seat.
Jenny Luna: I'm Jenny Luna.
Welcome to Think Fast
Talk Smart, the podcast.
Today we have a bit of a twist
on our normal episode format.
I'm going to sit in the host seat
and put Matt in the hot seat.
Matt's new book, Think Faster, Talk
Smarter: How to Speak Successfully
When You're Put On The Spot,
launches at the end of this month.
So I thought it would be fun to put
him in the hot seat and ask him his
thoughts on spontaneous speaking.
Welcome.
Matt, are you ready for this?
Matt Abrahams: I am super
excited for this, Jenny.
Thank you.
I'm gonna do my best to think
faster and talk smarter.
Jenny Luna: Okay.
Let's get started.
Your new book is on spontaneous speaking.
How do you define that and what made
you wanna focus on that for your book?
Matt Abrahams: Throughout my life, I
have always been spontaneous speaking.
With the last name, Abrahams,
AB, I have always gone first.
So in elementary school, in high school,
even in college and graduate school, I was
always the first person asked to speak.
I know what it feels like to
be put on the spot.
And that's really what spontaneous
Matt Abrahams: speaking is all about.
It's about that moment where you are
called on to step up and say something.
Maybe it's answering a question, giving
feedback in the moment, fixing a mistake
you made, being called on to introduce
somebody, or even during small talk.
So spontaneous speaking, if you think
about it happens all the time in our
personal lives and our professional lives.
Jenny Luna: I didn't realize this had
such personal roots for you, Matt.
I really like that.
And so how did you come to be
interested in kind of helping
others with this concept?
Matt Abrahams: About a decade ago,
the deans at the business school
came to me with a problem, and the
problem was that our incredibly
bright students were panicking and
choking in cold call situations.
You know, where the professor
says, what do you think?
And you have to respond.
Our students who knew the
answers, who were very bright,
could not in the moment respond.
And they asked me, can you help?
As a result of that, I got very
interested in exploring how we can
be better speakers in the moment.
And through doing research on my
own, looking into other fields, and
collaborating with people here at the
business school, but especially with my
colleague from the arts department, Adam
Tobin, who's an excellent improviser,
came up with a lot of this content.
Jenny Luna: Interesting.
Okay.
And I know you are famous around campus
and out in the world for this six step
methodology on spontaneous speaking.
Can you walk us through those steps?
Matt Abrahams: Famous is a big word,
uh, but, uh, I, I've definitely spent
a lot of time talking about this.
The methodology that I've come up
with, and that we walk all of our MBA
students through, they can opt in to
learn this content, and most of them do.
It's really divided into two
major areas, mindset and messaging.
So we have
Matt Abrahams: to adjust our
mindset, and part of mindset is also
dealing with anxiety and listening.
And then messaging is about
how we structure our messages,
and then how do we focus them.
On this podcast, we've
talked a lot about structure.
We've talked a lot about being
concise and clear, and those are all
part of the six step methodology.
Jenny Luna: Yeah, I, we've talked
a lot about managing anxiety a
few times on this podcast, we've
had a lot of guests talk about it.
You did a whole episode
on it a few years ago.
It's one of our more popular
episodes among listeners.
Uh, so let's, let's drill down more into
the mindset part of your methodology.
Can you help us understand these different
shifts that you suggest in a mindset?
And also tell us what you mean when you
write in the book about missed takes.
Matt Abrahams: The way we approach
communication period, but especially
spontaneous communication, really matters.
There are a couple key mindset
shifts I think that we, we should
adopt to feel more comfortable and
confident in spontaneous situations.
First is, we often strive for perfection,
and I would argue that we should
rather be looking for connection.
On the very first day of the strategic
communication class I co-teach,
I have the audacity to say to my
students, maximize your mediocrity.
And Jenny, you should see their jaws drop.
These students have never
been told to be mediocre, but
here's the logic behind that.
When we strive to be great, when
we strive to be right or perfect
in our communication, it actually
prevents us from doing it well at all.
And it comes down to a simple
issue of cognitive bandwidth.
Think of your brain as a computer.
It's not a perfect analogy, but when
you're running your, your laptop or
your phone, and you have lots of apps
or windows open, your computer is not
running as effectively as it could.
In, in essence, everything's
a little slower.
The same thing is true when you're
speaking and you're monitoring
everything you're saying and judging
and evaluating it as you're saying
it, or even before you're saying it.
You're not as effective.
So when we dial the volume down,
we can actually perform better.
I'm not saying we shouldn't judge
and evaluate what we say, we should,
but if we turn the volume down a
little bit, we can do it better.
So the whole saying I tell my students
on that first day, is maximize
mediocrity so you can achieve greatness.
When we focus on connecting
with our audience, delivering a
message that's relevant for them,
we can actually do it better if
we're not judging and evaluating.
So that's the first mindset shift.
Connection over perfection.
The second is to see these
spontaneous speaking situations as
opportunities rather than threats.
Many of us, when we're put under
the gauntlet of Q and A, or asked
for feedback in the moment, we feel
like we have to defend our position.
We have to be perfect in
the threat of challenge.
And so how do we deal with that?
We get in a very tight body posture.
Our responses are, are curt and short.
Our tone is harsh.
If we see these as opportunities,
as the ability to connect,
to expand, to collaborate, it
changes completely how we feel.
Now, I'm not naive.
I know people do actually challenge
us, but even in those moments,
if we see it as an opportunity to
connect, it really changes things.
So we wanna strive for
connection over perfection.
We wanna see these
circumstances as opportunities.
And then finally, many of
us fear making mistakes.
We don't wanna make mistakes.
And as we've talked about on this podcast
before, mistakes are ways that we learn.
You, you have to break a few things in
order to actually learn and progress.
So I like to encourage people to
reframe how they see mistakes.
And, and, you know, in the
making of films or television,
they, they do lots of takes.
We've all seen that little
clapboard that comes down.
They say, take one, take two.
I think if we see our communication
and the, and the things that go
wrong, as missed takes rather than
mistakes, it can really help us.
So when a movie director is looking
at a particular scene, she might be
asking the actors to do it again and
again, different takes, not because any
one take is wrong, but because they're
looking for something a little different.
Maybe you do it standing
up versus sitting.
Maybe you put a little more emotion
in one part versus the other.
So when things don't go the way we want
them to, if we see them as a missed
take, just another opportunity to do it
differently next time, that feels very
different than having gotten it wrong.
So those three mindset shifts can make
a big difference in our communication.
Jenny Luna: I love this concept
of turning the volume down,
turning the internal volume down.
And then taking things not as threats,
but as opportunities, and then reframing
into a missed take instead of a mistake.
That's great.
When it
comes to structure, I love in your book
Jenny Luna: how you provide series
of examples and advice for situations
we find ourselves in like small talk,
making an apology, giving a toast, or
an introduction, and giving feedback.
That's a big one.
Um, the one structure that I put into use
right away was your pitching structure.
Can you share that with listeners and then
give an example of pitching structure?
Matt Abrahams: Sure.
So often we're in these circumstances
where we have to sell an idea
or sell a product or a service,
and we're put on the spot.
You, you literally get in
the elevator with somebody
and they say, what do you do?
And you have to give that elevator
pitch, and it can be hard.
As a result of work I've done here
at the business school with lots
of entrepreneurs, I developed a
four sentence structured pitch.
If you finish these sentence
starters, you have a good pitch.
And they are, what if you could, so
that, for example, and that's not all.
So if you finish each one of those,
it gives you a really tight, clear
pitch and idea of what it is that
you are selling, if you will.
So let's say I was explaining to somebody
about our podcast, Think Fast Talk Smart,
something that you do amazing work for.
And somebody, let's say I'm in
an elevator, or I'm at a small
talk, uh, chitchat situation.
Somebody says, tell me about your podcast.
I would say, what if you could learn
to hone and develop your communication
skills, so that you can achieve your
personal and professional goals?
For example, you could learn how to be
more confident, more persuasive, and
even more creative in your communication.
And that's not all, you'll join
a wonderful community of other
people who are also trying to
build their communication skills.
Do you hear how just finishing
those four sentences really
provides a tight, clear pitch?
It makes it relevant, it makes
it impactful, and memorable.
Jenny Luna: I'm sold.
This sounds like a fantastic podcast.
Matt Abrahams: Well, you
should listen to it, maybe.
Jenny Luna: Uh, something that
we hear time and again from our
guests, and from our listeners, is
how well you do with paraphrasing,
being concise and being clear.
You have a chapter in your
new book, what you call the F
word of spontaneous speaking.
So can you give us some advice around that
Matt Abrahams: F word for focus,
not that naughty word that some
of you were, were talking about.
I think paraphrasing is a critical
tool in communication, and one of the
ways that you can be more focused is
to make sure that what you're saying is
relevant and targeted to your audience.
Asking clarifying questions
and paraphrasing serves as
a tool to help you focus.
So if we are in a conversation and you
ask me for feedback, I could jump right
into giving feedback or I might say, I
might ask you a question, uh, do you want
feedback about what you said or about what
we could do differently in the future?
And that clarifying
question helps me focus.
So there's a lot we can do to help focus
our messages based on what we do before
we actually provide those messages.
Certainly there are things we can
do once we're speaking as well.
I'm a huge fan of trying to eliminate
extraneous words or acronyms or jargon.
So really focusing on focusing our
messages is critical, especially in
spontaneous speaking because so often
we are actually taking people along
the journey of ourselves discovering
what we want to say as we say it,
and we say much more than we need to.
Jenny, you've heard me say this
many times, but I'll share it again.
My mother has this wonderful saying
that gets to the heart of this.
Tell me the time.
Don't build me the clock.
Jenny Luna: Focus is a great
segue into my next question.
We've had a lot of guests talk about
mindfulness, taking a pause, focusing
on the breath, when we're getting
anxious about our communication.
I know that you practiced martial arts
and you have for many years, right?
Matt Abrahams: I have decades, yes.
Jenny Luna: So what similarities,
I'm curious, do you see between
communication and martial arts?
Matt Abrahams: I love this question
and, and thank you for asking.
I don't often share about my martial
arts journey, but I, I've been doing
the martial arts for four decades now.
I've, I've studied many, many styles.
I still, uh, participate and
teach the martial arts today.
And it, it's been so instructive
to me in so many ways.
But in terms of communication, the
martial arts teach you to be present,
to respond to what's happening in front
of you, to think about how your moves,
or what it is that you do, impacts
not just the person in front of you,
but the environment and situation.
And all of those are
mirrored in communication.
I am a better communicator because of my
martial arts and perhaps a better martial
artist because of my communication.
But they're, they're intimately linked.
I encourage everybody to try to
find a physical practice that can
inform our day-to-day interactions
and who we are in the world.
And for me, the martial
arts have done that.
Jenny Luna: I know you tell a
great story about a martial arts
experience you had as a young person.
I'm wondering if you can tell
that story again just while we
have more listeners right now.
Matt Abrahams: Thank you, Jenny.
The, perhaps the most embarrassing
moment of my entire life happened
when I was a fourteen year old boy.
On the very first day of my freshman
year, my English professor had all of us
stand up and tell what we did that summer.
Of course, I went first, as I said,
uh, being first row first seat.
And at the end of the day, he
came up to me and said, Matt,
you're good at this talking thing.
I need you to go to
this speech tournament.
I think every teacher had to send
one student from their classes.
So I was his student.
And he said, give a speech on
something that's important to you.
So begrudgingly I went.
I put on, you know, I had
my dad tie a tie for me.
I was wearing pants
that were way too short.
I had grown over the summer.
I show up seven thirty in the morning,
giving a speech on the martial arts.
That was important to
me then as it is now.
And in the room are forty or fifty people.
The parents of my friends who
are judging, my friends, the
girl I liked is in the room.
It's my turn to go.
I'm so nervous.
I am so nervous.
So nervous that I forgot to
put on my special karate pants.
If you know anything about the martial
arts, the pants you wear are very
loose fitting so you can do kicks.
And that's exactly how I started
my speech, with a karate kick.
It got everybody's attention, and it
really got their attention, because
when I did this kick, I ripped my pants.
I kid you not, from zipper to belt buckle.
In the first ten seconds
of a ten minute speech.
And it is at that moment, and from that
moment, that I became fascinated by
the impact of anxiety on communication.
And that's what really motivated
me to actually study it and do
everything that I've done, all
goes back to that gym on a Saturday
morning as a fourteen year old boy.
So yes, the martial arts
had a huge impact on me.
It exposed me to so many things,
literally and figuratively.
Jenny Luna: That's a great story
and there are so many things that
influence our work that come from our
personal lives as an example of that.
Matt, let's take a break from
spontaneous speaking and ask
you about hosting this podcast.
I feel very fortunate to be part
of our small but mighty team.
And I'm curious how you feel about
having completed a hundred episodes.
Matt Abrahams: The first word
that comes to mind is gratitude.
It has been a true pleasure to
work with you, Jenny, and all the,
the work you do behind the scenes
to make this thing a success.
Our colleague Neil, and others,
in, in the marketing communication
team is, is fantastic.
But the thing that I'm most grateful
for is just the connection that
I and we have with our listeners.
It has been truly a blessing and just
amazing to get to know people from all
over the world, from all walks of life,
from places I've never heard of, who are
not just benefiting from the podcast, but
also connecting to our larger community.
And really helping each other
and role modeling some of the
things that we talk about.
I have learned more hosting this
podcast from our guests and our audience
members than I ever thought possible.
So when you asked me what do I think about
it, how do I reflect on this, it's, it's
really just from a place of gratitude.
It's been awesome.
Jenny Luna: Okay.
Well, I thought we'd end today's show
a little bit differently since on a
prior episode, you've answered the
questions that you ask all of the guests.
I wanna put you to the test and ask
you to think faster and talk smarter.
I'm gonna give you three prompts
that reflect some of the situations
that you provide in your new
book and ask you to respond.
Are you ready for that?
Matt Abrahams: I am.
And just so everybody knows, I have
no idea what Jenny is gonna ask me.
Jenny Luna: Okay.
Well, I treasure feedback.
What is one thing you would suggest that
I could do to be a better podcast host?
Matt Abrahams: I'm going to leverage the
what, so what now, what structure that I
teach, and for those of you who haven't
heard me talk about this, what is the
information, the idea, the product, the
service, in this case, the feedback,
the so what is, why is it important?
And the now what is, what could the person
do differently or, or what comes next?
So I'm gonna find some constructive thing
to say because you asked for it and I know
you truly, uh, accept feedback is a gift.
There are times where you have been
looking away in our conversation and it,
for me, it's a little hard because I know
you make such intense eye contact always.
So the feedback I would give you
in the what is sometimes you look
away when you're asking questions.
When you do that, it makes
me feel disconnected.
That's the so what.
So in the future, I would ask that
you keep your eye contact on me
or whoever you're interviewing to
really help foster that connection
and make it easier on the guest.
Jenny Luna: It sounds like by making
more eye contact, we can be more
successful in our communication,
and I'm gonna work on that.
Matt Abrahams: Wow, great paraphrase.
Jenny Luna: It takes a lot of
listening to be able to do that.
Okay, so we have a new resource we're
providing listeners who want to learn
English by listening to our podcast.
How would you pitch that to them?
Matt Abrahams: Alright,
so we're gonna try this.
What if you could learn to feel more
comfortable speaking in the English
language, so that you can participate
in some of your daily and business
interactions more comfortably.
For example, you could learn
specific idioms and phrasing that
might help you in situations that
you encounter, and that's not all.
You'll be able to enjoy Think Fast
Talk Smart episodes even more.
Jenny Luna: Wonderful.
That structure really does work well.
Okay, question three.
The entire Stanford GSB community has
come together to celebrate the podcast.
You have to give a toast.
Go.
Matt Abrahams: Oh boy.
So I have a structure I teach in the book.
It's called WHAT.
WHAT for giving toast and tributes.
The W is, why are we all here?
The H is, how are you the
person speaking connected.
Then an anecdote or two, that's the
A. And then finally the thanking
or the toasting at the end.
So it's WHAT.
So I might say thank you all for being
here to celebrate the GSB's Think Fast
Talk Smart hundredth anniversary episode.
I, Matt, am the host of this podcast
and just one of, of a small but mighty
team of people that bring this to you.
I remember back, years ago, when
we were first thinking of this idea
and brainstorming and wondering,
would anybody ever listen, let alone
want to be a guest on the podcast?
And it has been fantastic to see
that people actually do wanna
listen and do wanna join us.
So I thank every single one of you
for being here, and I thank every
single one of you for being a part
of the Think Fast Talk Smart family.
Jenny Luna: Wonderful.
Hear, hear.
And congratulations, Matt, not only to a
hundred episodes, but to your new book.
I know we're all looking forward
to cracking that open, um, your
passion for communication, and
thank you for your concise, clear,
and helpful guidance as always, and
I wish you well on the new book.
That was a great conversation
and I look forward to many more.
Matt Abrahams: Jenny, thank you so
much for all you do for the podcast,
for sitting in and interviewing me.
While this guest seat is pretty
comfy, I look forward to getting
back into the host seat soon.
Thank you for listening to
this Rethinks episode of Think
Fast Talk Smart, the podcast.
To learn more about managing speaking
anxiety, please listen to episode 10,
and to work on your spontaneous speaking
mindset, please check out episode 112.
This episode was produced by Katherine
Reed, Ryan Campos, and me, Matt Abrahams.
Our music is from Floyd Wonder.
With special thanks to
Podium Podcast Company.
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