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Les Thomas Sr. (B-Les) on the podcast this week with Lieutenant Wayland Cubit, sharing about the importance of hope in youth mentoring.
Show Notes
Les Thomas Sr. (B-Les) on the podcast this week with Lieutenant Wayland Cubit, sharing about the importance of hope in youth mentoring.
https://www.instagram.com/oneminuteorles/
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You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
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https://www.instagram.com/oneminuteorles/
https://www.instagram.com/lesthomas.sr/
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:What up, everybody? This is Waylon Cubitt, lieutenant Cubitt in Oklahoma City, and thank you for listening to the You Can Mentor podcast. I am so excited today to be sitting down with another master mentor. I just cannot wait to pick his brain. I am sitting down today.
Speaker 2:You all probably have seen him. I know you have heard him. He has been all over the country talking about let's go pokes. Let's go pokes. That is the Oklahoma State Cowboys.
Speaker 2:He is the game day host for them, but he's so much more than that. He is my friend. He is my my he's one of the guys that I call to bounce things off of when it comes to mentoring, family, you name it. He is just one of those go to guys, and he has been a part of my circle. How long would you say less?
Speaker 3:Man.
Speaker 2:2009, 8?
Speaker 3:Somewhere around there. Had to be around 8, 9.
Speaker 2:2008 or 9. You You were still in the military, so he's a military guy, retired military.
Speaker 3:Yes, sir.
Speaker 2:He's a game day host. He's an artist. He's a husband. He's a father. He's a motivational speaker, and I could talk to him about all of those things at one at a time.
Speaker 2:But we're gonna zoom in and
Speaker 3:narrow it down to the master mentor that he is because he
Speaker 2:also is mentoring kids on mentor that he is because he also is mentoring kids on it. I don't know how you fit it all in every single day, and and thank you so much for carving out some time today to talk to me about your mentoring journey. Appreciate it. Yes, sir. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you master mentor, Les Thomas senior.
Speaker 3:Hey. Hey. Problem. So much for having me on, man. Yeah.
Speaker 3:This I mean, mentoring is, I would say that's the top 3 of my life. So you you named a lot of things. But right now in my life, I would say that mentoring is a is a top 3 of importance in my life. Man.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Man. So you have a journey. So you've been doing some stuff with me in the mentoring space since 2008, like we men we mentioned. But I'm a police officer, and you're a hip hop artist.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Gospel hip yeah. Yeah. We I don't know. We I mean, I always admired you, but I don't think you always admired me.
Speaker 2:I think we were kinda like, man, he's gathering the kids and stuff, and I wanna be around the kids in the community, but I don't want the ball to be around the police. Talk about that, man.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. I I I think for me, you know, you know, growing up in an environment that I grew up in, you know, we didn't have a good outlook on police officers. And I remember, meeting you through Marcus, and I'm like, man, Marcus grew up in the hood like me, and he's cool with
Speaker 2:Yeah, Marcus Jackson.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Marcus Jackson.
Speaker 2:Another master mentor.
Speaker 3:Yeah, another master mentor. And and, you know, it's kinda like validation. When someone validates someone, you know, you you just roll with it. And so I was a little hesitant at first, like, I've never heard of I thought police officers police. That's what they do.
Speaker 3:You mean to tell me there's a police officer that care about people in the community and in the same vein as me? I mean, like, you know, in the Air Force, yeah, we may protect our country and things like that, but we have, you know, the avenue to still be in the community and do a lot of things. And I'm like, here it is, a a guy that's called to police. The community is giving back to the community. This kinda didn't make sense.
Speaker 3:I remember the very first Demihoofist I came to, and and I saw the police officers here and I saw the horse here and I think it's 1 or 2 police officers on a horse. And I'm like, man, what is going on here? But because I, I love Marcus so much and I trust him, man. And, you know, we worked with you for Christ together for a long time. You know, when he spoke for for you, I was like, okay.
Speaker 3:That's somebody I can roll with. So, yeah, it was I think it was a challenge. It was a challenge at first. But, man, once I saw your heart and spoke with you and I saw everything you was doing for the community, I'm like, man, anybody that's in the community trying to make a difference, I can rock with them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man. And you you you had your daughter. Your daughter did y'all y'all rapped for us. Y'all did a performance. Y'all did a performance for maybe, what, 300 kids here.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. You did a performance. And so we gathered, you know, so I knew that you can you could get a crowd excited.
Speaker 3:Yeah. You,
Speaker 2:and then it wasn't and you you were never too, like, celebrity. Like Yeah.
Speaker 3:No. I don't care about I don't care about any of that. Like, I mean, you know, I'll do the whole if someone wanna take a picture or whatever. But I really care more about impact to people, and and humility has gotta be main ingredient in your life. You know, being tangible.
Speaker 3:You know, the the gifts that I have, God gave it to me, it's not mine. And so if I can make if I can help someone smile, have a good day, or help someone kind of forget what they're going through in life, like, I wanna make sure that I'm intentional in that moment. And so it don't matter if it's old, young, kid, rich, poor. If they say, man, let's have something that makes me feel a certain way, which is a good thing, I owe it to them to give them my time.
Speaker 2:Man, because you had this, this this crazy ability, which has been magnified in the last several years since now. You got 60, 70,000 people Yeah. That you're you got the microphone in your hand, and you're you're hyping up 60, 70,000 people at a at a football game. But you have this uncanny ability to to take 60,000 people and then turn around, that's on Saturday. And then on Monday morning, you you shape you narrow it down to just 1 kid
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or a couple of kids.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like, what's that like? Like, how do you
Speaker 3:Well, I I I think for me, I started off with the 1, with the 5, with the 10, speaking to 6 people or whatever. That's where I started. A lot of people want the megaphone or the microphone. I wanna be in front of a lot of people. And the truth is, you gotta be able to wanna be in a be in front of a small group.
Speaker 3:How can you jump in front of the big group if you won't speak to the people in the small group? And the truth is to kind of give you more context about the OSU job. 2 or 3 years before that, I told my wife I wanted to work for O State when I retired from the Air Force. And she was like, What do you want to do? And I actually told her, I don't care if I'm a janitor.
Speaker 3:I don't care if I'm a janitor. I just wanna be able to have a shirt on that says that says Oklahoma State, and I'm an employee. Well, I I really feel like the mindset of being able to that would a person that would clean toilets is a type of person that God can put in front of a lot of people. Because he knew that I would be able to handle it. Not that it's not ever a challenge and not that I'm perfect, but he was like someone that had scrubbed the toilets where no one would see them or if someone does see them, they may judge them and think less of them.
Speaker 3:That's the type of guy that can be in front of people. So I would say, you know, to to go back is like that's my roots. My roots is in the the 1, in the 2, in the small groups. And they actually work hand in hand because I know I wouldn't be in front of the 60. I I can't handle being in front of the 60 if I can't 60,000 if I can't be in front of 6 people or one person.
Speaker 3:And I know that, you know, I use this analogy like fishing with a net and fishing with a hook. When I'm down to the to the mentee with 1 or 2, that's the hook. Yeah. That's the hook. Like, a net is, you know, put me in front of a lot of people and I can, you know, just cast out seeds, throw out seeds, and hope and hope.
Speaker 3:See, what's in a lot of people in front of a lot of people, I'm hoping that something take root. Like, you know, that the seed develops. But when it's 12, that's where you can really make impact. So, I love the 1 and 2 just as much.
Speaker 2:I love the I love that analogy of the fish, the fishing and the the net and the hook. It's because if you think about it, a lot of mentoring groups, they throw a lot of events. They do. They do a lot of events. And to me, that is
Speaker 3:That's the net.
Speaker 2:Casting a net. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Right? Hoping.
Speaker 2:Right? But but what what we what a lot of mentoring groups don't do, though, is like the fishermen, they come back and they go through their net, and they let go all of the fish Yep. That is not what they're gonna sell. It's not what they're gonna eat. Like, they give them back.
Speaker 2:Right? And so that's what we do at at Jam Hoops Fest. It's like, we cast a big net. We call entire all the community. All the kids come, but we really have our mentors
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Stationed in places to go. Now go get the kid from hard places. Yep. Go get that kid that needs us. All All the ones that are are doing fine, that has the coach, that has the mentor already, that has the that's already operating in purpose and hope.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Go ahead and let them go. I know they I know they look good, and I know it's it's great. Yeah. That's not what the net that's not what we out here for.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I'm out here for a certain type of fish. And even if there's a fish that looks better, and I'm and I'm saying this for a reason, even there's a fish that's more valuable to some people, you gotta stick with what you're fishing for. Because I've been I've been given a lot of opportunities to go, like, to the suburbs or other places where people want to pay me big money, but I understand that I cannot compromise who I'm called to. And someone is called to them as well.
Speaker 3:But for me, I'm called to the inner city kids. I'm an inner city kid myself. I was them. You know, I was an at risk student. And so for me, it's like my fulfillment is in that purpose and my purpose is to impact inner city kids and that community.
Speaker 3:And so like you got to not only when you fish with a net, you know, when you fish with a net, you're like, Oh, man, I wasn't trying to catch a shark or I wasn't trying to catch, you know, but but that has so much value. Well, for me, if I if I catch that in the net, I'm throwing it back too. Right. Even though it's more valuable in some people's eyes. And when I say valuable, because in some unfortunately, in some people's eyes, people in other demographics are more valuable.
Speaker 3:And I'm like, no, that's not true. These people in this in this demographic is just as valuable. In fact, they may even have more value and they have a story of overcoming things that's in their life that other people may not have to deal with. So I'll just say that like, when you fish with a hook, you want a specific type of fish. Doesn't mean that you ignore any other fish that God brings into your life.
Speaker 3:You know, God wants you to, you know, to go have a different type of fish. And I know y'all like, man, they talking about fish. But it's just a it's just a
Speaker 2:They don't know that you're a fisherman too.
Speaker 3:Right? Right. Right. Right. And when I fish, I fish for it.
Speaker 3:If I'm fishing for bass, I
Speaker 2:fish for bass. Fish are, like, fun, but let them go.
Speaker 3:I let them go. I'm fishing for bass. And so that's why I say the whole net in the in the hook thing. So yeah.
Speaker 2:Hey, man. So tell me, there's gotta be a special mentor in your life. When you look back when I say, who's that who's that master mentor in your life? Describe that person and describe when I'm a I'm a catch you off guard with this question. So Okay.
Speaker 2:You know who the person is. You know exactly what they did for your life. Mhmm. But can you think back to the moment that he lit you up and said when you said, alright, that's my dude. Okay.
Speaker 2:That's my guy.
Speaker 3:I got the moment. You do.
Speaker 2:You okay. I got
Speaker 3:the moment. Yep. Okay. So me and my friends, we have some people around the corner from us, and the guy that I'm talking about is mister Green. We had a a family around the corner from us.
Speaker 3:Me and my friend had got into it with them, and they slammed my friend on the ground. They was older than us. Slam my friend on the ground, and, you know, I remember we were crying. I think we were only like 7 or 8 And or may may maybe 9 or 10. And they beat us up pretty bad.
Speaker 3:They roughed us up pretty bad. Well, they went out of town. They were they were from Nebraska. They went to Nebraska. And that night, me and my friend got some knives.
Speaker 3:Dull knives, man. We could have really messed ourselves up, and we went and slashed their tires. That night, that was our way of getting back at them. Well, mister Green lived across the street from them. So the moment that I realized this man is for me and this man cares about me is he told on me.
Speaker 3:He told on me. That's when I knew that this man cared about me because here's the thing, it's easy for me to say, oh, it was when I was getting award in elementary, and he showed up, and my dad wasn't there. And I was like, oh, that's the guy. No, not for me. For me, it was in the midst of trouble, him showing up for me when I realized that's the guy.
Speaker 3:Not only did he tell my mom on me, but he also stayed with me and walked through the valley of the repercussions of what me and my friend did. So he he loved me by making sure I didn't get away with it. And then he also showed me love by saying not only that, I know your family don't have much money. I'm a let you earn some money so we can replace these tires. He went with me to apologize too.
Speaker 3:My mom didn't made me apologize. Mister Green went with me Mhmm. When they got back from out of town and made me apologize.
Speaker 2:So accountability was the hook.
Speaker 3:Was the hook.
Speaker 2:Not the net. Not the net. Accountability was the hook.
Speaker 3:It was the hook. But less.
Speaker 2:That was the hook. Do you recognize that? Now I had a reason for setting you up for that question.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Now that you're the mentor Mhmm. Do you recognize when you have lit that kid up? Do you recognize it? Do you see it? Or does it surprise you?
Speaker 3:Well, I would say now I see it, but for a long time, it did surprise me. Because it's it you know, whenever you make a connection with a mentee, you never know when it's going to come or you may be involved and it may take a while. You know, I mean the trust, you know, the the kids that we're dealing with, you know, has been made a lot a lot of promises have been made to them and they were weren't fulfilled. Dad is saying, I'm a pick you up this weekend and he don't come. Mom said I'm a pick you up or grandma or whatever, or her parents are in jail or whatever type thing.
Speaker 3:So it may take a while. Now I see it coming because I you know, as a master mentor, we set them up because we've been here, right? So I might ask you a question. I might be asking you a question that I know I'm gonna benefit 2 months later, and you're answering it right now.
Speaker 2:That's it. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Because I'm I know where where I'm if I sit down with with a kid, I know in that moment, like, I'm a champion the kid in that moment. Right? I'm gonna I'm a make you the hero. Everything is about you. That's one of the one of the ways I get in is not only being transparent about my life, but also making sure that they know that I see the value in them.
Speaker 3:Right? And that may take a while. It ain't one session where because some of these kids don't see the value in themselves. They've been told you're gonna be like your mom, you're gonna be like your dad, whatever type thing. And so now I see it, but in the beginning, I would say it would come out of nowhere because I would just, you know, put an arrow on a bow and shooting it, hoping I would hit the target.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You know, I mean, it it I I'll tell you, man. I mean, becoming a a mentor, you a good mentor, you make a lot of mistakes. You know, you make a lot of mistakes. And I could tell you, you know, I don't know if you wanna keep going, but
Speaker 2:Well, I I was gonna say, man, when you're you're hitting on something, it's like it takes a while Yep. Right, to build trust.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:But it might happen the second you walk in the door. Like, they might just be just waiting for that that role model to step into their life, and they and you can tell you got them hooked just by showing up. Uh-huh. You you might for you, your celebrity might do
Speaker 3:it. Yep.
Speaker 2:Your celebrity might do it. A lot of us don't have celebrities, so we gotta we gotta keep talking and keep showing up. And I and I love what you said is that it might be too much later, which indicates to all the mentors look new mentors out there, that indicates that you're planning on being around 2 months later. Absolutely. Right?
Speaker 2:I'm I'm planning I'm doing this for the long haul. Yeah. You can't
Speaker 3:I mean, here's the thing. You you got if you're gonna commit to being someone's mentor, you have to go in it with the mindset of making a a commitment. I'm not gonna I I I I'm not a mentor. I con don't consider myself a mentor. The definition of mentor is not go being in someone's life and then being gone instantly.
Speaker 3:That's not a mentor. You might have just made an impact or something like that. But a mentor, you're in it for the long haul. Good and bad. It's not it's almost like a marriage.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying? I mean, like, you know, what do we do? Because the kid makes a bad decision, we walk away? No. Like like mister Green, he walked with me through the valley, and that's when I was like because I remember my mom taking me to my dad's house for him to whoop me for something that I did.
Speaker 3:My dad didn't whoop me. And my silly self walked out his house when my mom picked me up, and I had a big Kool Aid smile on my on my face. And my mom took me home and wore me out, and I shouldn't have came out acting like I was, you know, excited. But my dad didn't whoop me, and I thought that, man, that's cool. My dad didn't whoop me.
Speaker 3:Well, mister Green bringing correction, accountability, and walking me to the house for me to apologize, that's when I was like, this dude loves me.
Speaker 2:He didn't ignore it.
Speaker 3:He didn't ignore it. He didn't ignore it. He and he didn't just tell on me and say whatever happens at his house happened in his house. He I remember mister Green asking my mom, did did she want his help discipline me? Come on, man.
Speaker 2:And and so we this man. So we really do do this on another level now as master mentors. When we meet the family, we do kinda say, I got it from here. Yeah. I got it from here.
Speaker 2:I'm not I'm a do my job. You do yours. And and if you will allow me
Speaker 3:If you will allow me if
Speaker 2:you will allow me
Speaker 3:and support me
Speaker 2:and support me Yeah. I'm gonna I'm invested in your kid. Mhmm. And we do that in so many different ways. I know there may be some formal you know, in some organizations, there may be some formal papers and permissions and steps and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:But for master mentors, we're just looking for that that eye to eye, heart to heart connection with a parent that says, I'm with you on this. Can I can I be in charge for a little while?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Well, that end, as a mentor, you have to be okay with having patience with that mother or dad or whoever. Yes. You can't just say, oh, it's just me and the kid. No.
Speaker 3:You you are going into a relationship with the family.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You know I'm on your team. Yeah. I'm on your team. And and trust me with this one.
Speaker 2:I got I got I got little Johnny, a little little little Jenny, and and we'll I'll holler back at you. Well, you know, it's kinda that let me tell you, you made me think of how I knew I had a kid. This and I think about parents and kids. This particular kid, I'm thinking, is probably 4 months 4 months before I knew. I'm like, man, I'm not connected.
Speaker 2:We're not connected. 4 months. But early on, he he his mom would drop him off or, you know, we I pick him up to go do something or this or that. And it and the the the goodbye was fist bump. You know, I'm trying to bring him in for the man hug, you know, that kinda stuff.
Speaker 2:And it was really just lukewarm. He was just doing it as a greet you know, kinda Yeah. Bye. You know, the greeting was hello. You know, it wasn't like, I'm glad to see you.
Speaker 2:He was I'm not you know, it's just kinda lukewarm
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:The whole time. Well, he they had a blowout. K. In particular, mom and mom and son had a blowout, and she called, Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And I said, okay.
Speaker 2:Well, I'll be over there, and I'll talk to him. And, you know, we'll we'll we'll get him calmed down. And so I get over there, and we're doing this thing, and they're telling the story. Yeah. And unless she was wrong, it's too left feet.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I would say that it's not that often, but most of the time, the parent's on the right track. Most of the time. Yeah. They might have a wrong way of communicating this, but she was wrong on all levels.
Speaker 2:K. The kid was right. And as as we're sitting in the living room, and they're describing the stuff, I'm trying to figure out a way to be on her side to support her. Yep. And I couldn't.
Speaker 2:She was just so bad badly wrong. And I pointed it out. I pointed it out. And something about the way he was sitting in the chair changed.
Speaker 3:Changed. Changed. He kinda set up a little bit.
Speaker 2:He set up a little bit.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:He set up a little bit.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And and she and, of course, we worked it out, and she realized it, and and it it wasn't any animosity or anything. But as we're walking out the house and I say, hey, man, so I'll see you Tuesday, the embrace was different. Yeah. The embrace was warm. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:The embrace said, now I see after 4 months, you're you're here for me. Because everybody else in this family, everybody else that ever walked in this room, everybody else that introduced, everything she said was the gospel. Yeah. And everything you just said was challenged Wow. The gospel on my behalf.
Speaker 2:And let me tell you, it turned out to be a great relationship. 4 months.
Speaker 3:4 months.
Speaker 2:But I knew before I left the house, I got him. Yeah. I got him. Yeah. Now now everything I ask him to do Yep.
Speaker 2:He is gonna he's trying his best. He failed a lot, you know, but and he disappointed me a lot, but he didn't wanna disappoint me. He didn't wanna disappoint me. Yeah. Right.
Speaker 2:So tell me tell me, as a as a master mentor, what's your go to connection move? Like, what's the what's the story? What's what's the thing, like, when they call you in? Like, what's the move to get a new mentee connected? Like, how do you make that happen as fast as possible?
Speaker 3:Well, I the first thing I do is try to make the connection happen natural. Because I get phone calls, messages from parents. Hey. Can you mentor my son type thing? So I'm like, yeah, don't schedule us to get coffee or food or whatever like that.
Speaker 3:You know? Because that makes it really weird. Let's let's make a connection normal. You just happen to be at a restaurant or you just happen to be at a basketball game. Or you just happen to so me and the parents might maybe in a little, you know, together knowing what's going on, but I think it has to happen naturally.
Speaker 3:It's rare that I've been successful as a mentor when the kid knew that I was coming for them because that can cause some on, this is weird or I don't wanna you know, they've been the thing is just right here, man, they got bruises, man. And and if they know that you're about to touch a bruise, they are going to move. You know, a lot of times people think that because they're a kid, you don't have bills, or you don't have to go to work, so you don't have anything that you're dealing with. And I beg to differ, they got a lot that they dealing with. And so for me, my go to is my secret sauce I would say is, like I mentioned earlier, is championing them.
Speaker 3:Because I could sit down and tell them all about my life, but they don't care about that. They wanna know, do you care about me? And so I don't force anything. I move at the pace that they want to move in. I don't come in with an agenda of, alright, I gotta earn this kid's trust, and I gotta make sure it happens within a week or a month or 2.
Speaker 3:I kinda move at they pace.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying? And I'm kinda old school too. I don't I don't I don't really do the baby and stuff. I'm sure you don't either.
Speaker 2:No. No. So No.
Speaker 3:So so the thing is, like, I would just say it's kinda championing them and wanna hear their story. I'm a talker, so I'll make sure that I hear their story and and I ask questions. I have this thing called structure structured and unstructured time. So in the beginning, it's all unstructured. Structured is where you got in trouble at school.
Speaker 3:I'm coming to pick you up, and we're gonna talk about you getting in trouble. That's structured. Unstructured is, we're at a basketball game, we're fishing, whatever, and there's no agenda, we're just hanging. So in the beginning, I would say just hanging with them and championing them is what I do in the beginning. I just hang with them.
Speaker 3:No agenda. I don't make them feel uncomfortable. I don't I don't go grab food with them where they're sitting across from me. Right? I don't do that in the beginning.
Speaker 3:I do that once I built the relationship with them and they know what this is about. But in the beginning, it's no no table sitting across from each other. It's us hanging out. Going to a basketball game, football game, going fishing, doing something like that. I just do life with them, man.
Speaker 2:Man, that that's so funny. So I need to I need to hear that because so many times I've been set up by the parent or by to go to come get my kid. Yep. I know you're good at what you do.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:My kid needs this good thing that you do. And I go for it. But but I try to make that natural. And here's here's what I do. Okay.
Speaker 2:Now I may not do it anymore now that I know that I can. But but but here's what I do. I go pick up, little David, and I say, David, you know, your mom, for whatever reason
Speaker 3:Mhmm. I
Speaker 2:don't know what's going on, man. But here, I'm already going to Westlake Hardware, and I'm on my way to go get these certain things from my house and do all that kind of stuff. And I'm just saying, hey. If you wanna be included in my day, hop in. Let's roll.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And and so I I go, I don't have a clue what's going on. You seem amazing Yeah. To me. Yeah. Like, you look good.
Speaker 2:You smell good. Everything's good. I'm just pointing out all the good things that I see about them. And I'm like, so what's up with your moms?
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:What's the story? Yeah. Tell me what how you seeing this because I'm not understanding. Because most of the kids that I deal with have these issues.
Speaker 3:Got you.
Speaker 2:All of these obvious issues. Yeah. And you ain't got nothing obvious to me.
Speaker 3:Yeah. They show me that good side. Right.
Speaker 2:And I don't see anything obvious with you. So what's this relationship all about? Me and you? I mean, you tell me Yeah. What it's about.
Speaker 2:And, man and I just listen. And I just listen. Just listen. Yeah. Listen for what they don't say and listen for what they do say.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Right? And they say, hey, dude. I'm just here with you. I'm here for you.
Speaker 2:Now I don't do anything special for them. I just go get my screws and my my my wood. Yeah. I do all kind of stuff, and I just include them in the day. And what and and the same thing when I took my kid to Westlake, what did I what did I have them do?
Speaker 2:I'm like, hey, man. Go grab that basket. I got too many.
Speaker 3:Yeah. They helping you.
Speaker 2:Just just include them. Just do just include them in everything. Don't that's not it's it's not super special, and it's not void. They're there.
Speaker 3:Let's drop a pen right there. I Okay. For the for mentors listening, I I think that is so valuable what you're talking about. And not just in the, you know, the opening session of meeting with them, but just period. Just period.
Speaker 3:Like, it doesn't always have to be serious sitting down in a in a quiet place 1 on 1. Or games. Or movies. Have fun. Have fun with them because here's the thing is, honestly, I'll again, when I go back to the structured and unstructured, a lot of my content for the structure comes from the unstructured.
Speaker 2:Unstructured time. We're gonna talk about that.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. Because if we go fishing while we're sitting next to each other, you're going to eventually talk. And what I do is see, again, that's what we say as a as a mentor, we know where this is headed. I'm setting them up.
Speaker 3:Right? I want them to feel comfortable. So I am not once they open up and start telling me sharing about their life or what's going on in their home, I make sure not to put a lid on the jar. In that moment, I make sure not to judge them. I make sure not to give advice.
Speaker 3:I just let them talk, talk, talk. So what I do is, it's kinda like a basketball player getting an assist. The person scores, but you throw them the ball and they score. Right? But they score because you threw them the ball.
Speaker 3:So I'm just giving them assist so they can score the whole time. And to me, the score for me is learning about their life, learning what they're going through. Mhmm. So in that moment, I don't try to score too. In that moment, I want them they are the hero.
Speaker 3:Tell me about your life, tell me about I wanna hear all the scores, I wanna hear everything that's going on. So what I do is I I just encourage them with my response in that moment. Even if they say something I don't like where I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe you said that.
Speaker 2:You don't even show it in
Speaker 3:your body language. I don't show it in my countenance. None of that. I just sit there and I want them to tell me everything. Yes.
Speaker 3:Tell me everything. And I know I'm storing that in my mind and in my heart for that time when we do have the structured time. That time when an opportunity is there for me to be very intentional about their life and giving them feedback or correction because a mentor brings correction. But in that moment, I don't do correction. We just we just hanging out.
Speaker 3:I'm a big brother. I'm a big brother at that time.
Speaker 2:And and and and I will even make that statement. Just you're just master mentoring. I mean, this is just, like, out there taking notes. Yeah. Like, so they're they're saying some stuff that I disagree with a lot of times.
Speaker 2:Yep. Like and I just I just wear it. Yeah. I just say, so you so it's like that, That's how you that's how you do things. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay. Note to self. Note to self. Right? You know, I'm I'm just you know, I don't try to judge them.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Judging them, obviously. I mean, my my things are happening in my mind that is judgmental. Right? Mhmm.
Speaker 2:But I am not pressing my judgment on them because I want I want everything. I need I need it all.
Speaker 3:How can you help them if you if you don't know what they're dealing with? Right.
Speaker 2:If they say, man, I just bought, you know, a pound of weed. My and my internally, I am shocked.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. Me too.
Speaker 2:Internally, I am shocked.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I don't pour it. I don't let them see it. Right? Right? I don't let them see it.
Speaker 3:I don't let
Speaker 2:them see it. Because we're gonna talk about it again.
Speaker 3:At some point, right now, I'm collecting it's just like, you know, if you're investigating, you're just collecting information. I'm just getting information. I wanna know who this is. Yep. And if you respond in a moment, you just you just do a lid or you just put a a ceiling over you all where you could've went to the sky.
Speaker 3:But now, you know, you can only jump 5 feet in the air. You know what I mean? When you could've went 20 feet, so you wanna you wanna give them time to breathe, to be themselves. That's really important.
Speaker 2:Here's a here's a thing that I noticed you do is, man, you are transparent with your with your life.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:Your past life, you are very transparent. The importance I feel like the importance of that transparency really moves the relationship along fast. Yeah. Very, very fast. And and what I mean is the the best way to understand or to recognize the humanity of another person is sharing your humanity.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:Right? Sharing your story. And so you do a phenomenal job. We went to man up man up man. You got to talk about
Speaker 3:love, man.
Speaker 2:So so we we we go we did several of them, but this is inside of a juvenile correctional facility. And all of these young men, different races, but they're all 7 15 to 20. Yep. And we pair them up with mentors, and I am very intentional about pairing BLS with the the one that has the worst crime on his books. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right? And I never tell the men the mentors, you know, what crimes they have because it's not important. At all.
Speaker 3:At all.
Speaker 2:It's not important. But I but as I'm pairing people up, I'm like, B Les gets the the one that was featured on First 48. You know? I don't know.
Speaker 3:It's good to know that.
Speaker 2:You didn't know that. I've never knew
Speaker 3:that. I've done this many with you, but that's cool. That's right. Right.
Speaker 2:And so and I don't even have to script it. There's gonna be a point in every man up where you get up and share your story. And and if you can just share the story a little bit, you talked about small minded people can't handle the can't handle a dreamer.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Well, from one of my and and I know sometimes you don't a lot of people say that Waylon is their mentor. Let me tell you, for everyone listening out there, Waylon has 500 mentees. Alright? He doesn't know it, but he has so many people that look up to him.
Speaker 3:And I remember one time him telling me that if you wanna impress people, you share your victories. If you wanna impact people, you share your losses. And so I've always lived by me being transparent and being honest about what I've been through in my life is just as important as any accomplishment I've ever made. And I know for those young people, many of them that we are dealing with in that moment, not too many people have faith, belief, belief our trust, or even, you know, they don't think that they will amount to much because of what they've done in the past. You know, they did what they said they did, but they now, but they're they're not who people say they are.
Speaker 3:And so, when I get up to speak, and I tell them what you just said about you can't expect a small minded person to understand your dreams. That pretty much breaks down is a small minded person looked at you and what you've done, and they say, you're in juvenile prison. You stole this car. You did that. You hurt this person.
Speaker 3:So the small minded person will put you in a box and say, you you are who you are and you won't amount to anything. But just because you're inside a place locked up doesn't mean you don't have dreams. Mhmm. Since you was a little kid, you have dreams. From when you was a teenager, you have dreams, and you can allow your current situation to suffocate your dream, and you dang so can allow people that's on the outside, people that you you think you love and they love you.
Speaker 3:I mean, these are some of our greatest wounds come from people that's in our inner circle. And so you can't when I say you can't can't allow a small minded person to understand your dream, it's like just because they're inside doesn't mean they don't still have dreams. And if you did and when you're mentoring a kid or a young man or a young woman or anyone, like, you can't look at them. You cannot mentor them from a place of what they've done.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:You have to mentor them from a place where you see them going.
Speaker 2:Yes. Yes.
Speaker 3:Because if you mentor them from what they've done, you will give some some bad advice.
Speaker 2:And if you can't see, if you as the mentor and this is not I'm not trying to be mean. If you as a mentor Yeah. Cannot look at that kid and see what they can become, It's all you can see is what they are right at this moment. Yeah. You need a new mentee.
Speaker 3:Period.
Speaker 2:Yep. You have to be able to see what they can become.
Speaker 3:And and I'm I'm a take it a step further just to hold the mentors accountable. And I I feel like anyone can be a mentor. Mister Miyagi. I mean, actually, we're thinking about mister Miyagi.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:I mean, you know what I'm saying? I mean, come on. He was a drunk and tearing up cars and and all that type of thing. Even mister Miyagi became a great mentor. So I believe that, you know, before I say what I'm about I'm about to say, it's not much that can disqualify you as a mentor.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying? Like, people think that I don't have this, I don't have that. No. You have the ability to mentor. But I will say this, if you can never see the good in that kid or whoever you're dealing with, that's when I'm like, I don't even know if you should be I don't I don't even know if you should look for another mentee.
Speaker 3:Because if everyone if you're gonna mentor everyone that you come in contact with from a place of what they've done and you don't help them be restored, I help them reach, you know, the the dream or the gift and the talent that's inside of them. If you don't ever nurture that meant, yeah, you might need to go back to mentor 1 on 1.
Speaker 2:1 on 1.
Speaker 3:1 on ground level. Not even 1 on 1. You need to do, like, half 1.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. Because, like like, I think we always say and we'll agree, like, number 1 rule of mentoring is showing up. But number 2 or 1 a Yeah. Is believe in what they can become, what they will become.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Believe it. I mean, you have to believe it.
Speaker 3:You you have to you listen, man. My mom, she was my mother. So, you know, of course, I don't say she was a mentor, but she was my mother, so that's like a mentor. Right? My mom I remember me and my mom going to she worked at Carnegie.
Speaker 3:We went to her job after we left the Berry house. We went to her job. When we walked to her job, you know how many people at her job smiled at me and said, man, your mom is so proud of you, and you're doing great things, this and that. And I'm like, inside I'm like, man, we just came from the Berry house. What are these people telling me I'm doing good stuff?
Speaker 3:My mom, not only in front of me, but even to her friends, to her coworkers, to other people, she only spoke to the king inside of me and where she saw me going. Like she never spoke to the person in the moment that made the mistake. And so what I mean by that is, as a mentor, you know, of course there's a moment. Whatever happens in that moment, you may have to address it, but you have to believe in them so much that it blows their mind. I want as a mentee, I wanna believe in you so much where you think I'm crazy.
Speaker 3:You're like, I want you I want you to look at me and say, man, you think I can do that?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yes. Yes.
Speaker 3:I I think you can do that. I mean, like, I want to believe in you so much as a I wanna believe my mentee so much while I'm when my mentee may even think I'm halfway crazy because they can't even fathom the greatness I see in them. And and I want them to know that it ain't just, you know, young people they say boosting. It ain't boosting you. It's the truth.
Speaker 3:Because everyone have greatness inside them now. We look at other people say, what's greatness? If they're famous, a movie star, got out of money. No. Whatever God created you for, your purpose in life, that's greatness.
Speaker 3:If you're the 1st person to graduate from high school and your family, that's greatness. If you're the 1st person to go to college, if you're the 1st person to hold down a job at McDonald's for 6 months, and your parents is living off the go off the government, that's greatness, man. Come on. We can't allow we can't allow the world to dictate what's great. And as a mentor, whatever you are called to as a person, not sizing you up to my life, my kids' life, my family's life, or anybody I see on TV.
Speaker 3:No. I'm sizing you up to yourself. And as a mentor, I can't make you become me or anyone else. I want you to be the best you that you can be.
Speaker 2:I remember a mentor a mentee saying because I was frustrated. And here's here's the language that I use. It's like he he he did another mess up Yeah. Again. And I said, come on, man.
Speaker 2:We don't behave that way. We. That's not what we do. We. Right?
Speaker 2:I I'm I'm invested Yeah. In your success. In fact, here here's the thing, and you've heard me say this. If you don't succeed, I'm a failure and I don't fail. So we end this.
Speaker 2:And ain't and ain't no expiration date. We end this. There's no shelf life in this. And he finally says to me on the car ride after I'm bawling him out, holding him accountable, telling him how we are gonna behave from here on out, he says, Cube, I don't see in myself what you see in me. He said it.
Speaker 2:He said it.
Speaker 3:It hits me hearing that.
Speaker 2:I don't see it, man. I don't see it. And I said, this is how I responded to your point. I said, that's okay. You ain't gotta see it.
Speaker 2:But what you have to do is operate in the hope that I have for you until you get your own.
Speaker 3:Come on. Hey. That's
Speaker 2:Right. If you just operate in the hope I have for you, bro Woah. Until you get your own, we gonna be alright. Come on. Because I have high hopes for you.
Speaker 2:I can see you Yeah. Across the stage. I can see you in this great light. Right? You can't tell me I can't see what I I can see it.
Speaker 2:Yes. I can see it.
Speaker 3:That's why whenever someone when they when they achieve anything that's you know, whether it be making it to the league or getting a certificate or when they give their speech, they address the people that believed in them.
Speaker 2:That that that's the one.
Speaker 3:That's the one.
Speaker 2:The one. Why did it why do they always say mama? Because that's the one that's expressed belief. Yep. Belief.
Speaker 2:And and sometimes in kids from hard places, mama hasn't found belief on herself. Yeah. Daddy hasn't found belief in herself. Community has given up on them. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But when they run into a master mentor, the master mentor is the one, stop right here. Look no further. I believe in you.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Period. Now let's go let's operate in that belief.
Speaker 3:Well, and and and for me, that's what mister Green did. I remember calling him now you gotta remember, I'm 43 now. Mister Green was in my life when I was, you know, 10, 11, 12, 13 type thing. And I remember calling him about 5 years ago because I wanted to let him know the impact that he made on my life. Now here's the thing, why am I saying this?
Speaker 3:Man, when you mentor these when you mentor these kids or whomever you're mentoring, you gotta do it with no strings attached, and you have to do it with a, pure coming from a pure place of not wanting anything back. Like, you you are really in it for them. You're not in it for yourself. You're not in it for a pat on the back. You're saying, I wanna impact my mentee, and I wanna put them on a, pathway to being successful.
Speaker 3:When I called mister Green 5 years ago, that man said to me he had no idea that he made an impact on my life, and he weeped. Now, you gotta understand he got a voice like Barry White. Mister Green was like, you know, 6 3 big dude. You know what I mean? And when I call him when I tell you I'm not talking about silent weeping.
Speaker 3:I mean, he cried so hard that I could hear every every sound he was making while he was crying. And he said he said, boo, because that's what he called me. He said, boo, I just wanted to be known as a good person, and I wanted to just help anyone that I came in contact with. And that showed me, like, man, he he didn't mentor me for high fives. Just like you and I, we don't mentor for high fives.
Speaker 3:No. The high fives does nothing for me. What I want is what what I hope for is that that kid at some point will high five me. That's the high five I
Speaker 2:want.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. I don't you know?
Speaker 2:When they knock on the door and said, man, what you did for me, that belief you showed in me Yeah. Give that to my brother. Give that to my little brother.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Then
Speaker 2:who who do you know that can give that same thing to my little brother? Thank you. Those things, man, that right there is golden. In fact, I can tell you they always show up. And this is in the those type of pats and those type of high fives
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Always show up on your darkest day when you wanna stop mentally.
Speaker 3:Come on, man. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right? When you're like, I'm done with this. Mhmm. I can't take no more. I don't wanna invest any more of my energy into the next kid or the next event.
Speaker 2:When when when that happens, watch watch. When you turn around
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Somebody gonna say, thank you.
Speaker 3:And they might be a mentee from 10
Speaker 2:years ago. Years ago.
Speaker 3:Years ago. I don't know how many times I've been in Walmart, you know, and I run into someone that I I mentor years ago, and they just like they never said thank you when they was a kid. But now that they're 25 or 30, man, thank you for investing in me. Thank you. I mean, you know, and then they they they gladly tell you what's going on in their life.
Speaker 3:And now you look at it, they're a mentor, and that's what it's about. It's a gift that that keeps on giving. I mean, I I got a random message last week from a young lady that she lost her mom. And I I guess, you know, during this time when she was at Millwood, it was around the time I lost my mom. And she said that her husband because he went to Millwood as well.
Speaker 3:She said her husband said, you remember Les? And he said she said in her message to me, she said, well, my husband said, do you remember less? She said, my whole counting is changed. She said, everything you you start you said to us when we was at Millwood started coming back to me. She said, then I went on and listened to your song.
Speaker 3:I had a song called Growing Pains. She said, I went and listened to your song Growing Pains, and then another song going on one of my albums, she listened to Going Through. It's it's called Going Through. It's just where I'm being transparent. And she said, I just had to reach out to you and said, thank you because I was in such a dark place that my husband brought you up, and she said all the words, everything you said to us during that time because I was there when you lost your mom.
Speaker 3:She was like, you helped me get out of that dark place. Man, I I I didn't I didn't even know I impacted her like that, and you talk about 11 years later, man. You know what I'm saying? I mean, like, so one of the things about being a mentor is you may not see the fruit right away, and that's okay. You may never see the fruit.
Speaker 3:In fact, when you do see the fruit of your labor, man, that's that's they don't even to me, that's that's a love note from God. Like you said, in a moment where you say, man, I don't is this mentor thing where I'm I'm wore out. I'm chasing this kid, that kid, this kid getting in trouble. I'm doing this and doing things. And when you wanna give up, like you say, you get that little love note from God and say, like I did that message last week.
Speaker 3:You say, hey, thank you for what you've done. So, you know.
Speaker 2:That's what we're doing, mentors. We are planting seeds today for a great harvest. We are believing in the great harvest of 3rd. So, man, I appreciate you so much for sharing so much of your time, your thoughts. There's a part 2 because I wanna I mean, there's a part 2.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. We Yeah.
Speaker 2:I get everybody don't be requesting. More or less. More or less. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's it. So we'll get we'll get more on it. So but I appreciate you, sharing your time, your story, your wisdom, your love, your hypeness, and all that kind of stuff and supporting me and everything we do. Just so you know, we did get a message, a random message, from a kid at man up that said, I'm out of juvenile correction. I'm doing fine, And I want y'all to know that what what y'all said to me that day during Man Up has changed my life and placed it on another trajectory.
Speaker 2:And so just to give you that little bit, just in case you're thinking about quitting or something, I want to give you a little bit. Yeah. Little glimpse into the harvest, man.
Speaker 3:That's what it that's what it's all about right there, man. That's all about that. I appreciate you sharing a little guy wink. Some people call it a guy wink. Thank you for sharing that, man.
Speaker 3:Because you know, we care about those kids who, you know, it's only so much we could do because they're in. And some people will say, well, I'm not gonna go if I can only be there one day. It showed you that that one day this guy tells you, which I did change my life, and we were there for one day.
Speaker 2:We're going back. We're gonna go visit him. Yeah. We're gonna go visit him. Let's do it.
Speaker 2:Alright, y'all, man. Listen. You can mentor.