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You have the same 24 hours in your day as the most accomplished and greatest men and women in the history of the world. Then why do you still feel like you don't have enough time to do what you want to do and be who you want to be? Between all the busyness of life it feels like we just don't have the time. But what if it was possible to make more time. I think we can. And I think I know how.
Through a look at biblical precedent, and the value of community, and a few dad jokes, "Making Time" is timely look at timeless principles and a great resource for you, your family, church, or small group.
The Host: We're not really friends.
And to be honest, you probably
don't even know my name.
And I don't know you at all.
Sure, this little parasocial relationship
that we have going on is kind of fun.
But I'm not picking you up
from the airport or anything.
So why is it easier to feel like
we're building relationships
with authors pastors and really,
really good looking podcasters?
Than people we work with
or people we live next to.
A parasocial relationship is the kind
of relationship between a celebrity
and a fan or a reader and an author.
Or a politician and a voter.
Where person a knows a lot about
the thoughts, opinions, actions, or
Instagram posts of person B and person
B doesn't know person, a at all.
Is that building a community?
If I can make time by being in community.
Does building that kind of
community count, will it help?
Reading a good book experiencing
art makes me a better person.
Right?
Certainly it makes me more
informed and educated.
I might even be better equipped at my job.
I think.
But there's one little hiccup in it.
There is no real reason for me
to actually be better at my job.
Just to know how to be better at my job.
There's a difference
between knowing and doing.
There is no incentive to be a
better husband coming from them.
And no one to stop me.
From wasting all my time, sitting
around listening to podcasts,
no matter how great they sound.
I am still isolated.
I like audiences.
But I think I need accountability.
Audrey: Chapter 5:
Accountability Beats Anonymity
The Host: Here's today's big idea.
Time grows from accountability.
Like many godly virtues, accountability,
presses against the flow of culture.
It demands humility rather than praise.
But in casting off the weight of
ego and self, we can be lifted up to
the heavens by the love of others.
The only problem is that
privacy is actually much easier.
Anonymity is passive.
And emotionally sitting on the
couch, reading a book, isn't
going to create more time.
It's just going to pass the time.
And not even pass the time
doing what I really want.
Which is to be better
or at least less lame-o.
Investing in others like our dear
caller back in chapter two is an
excellent way to compound your time.
But being investible,
being worth investing in.
Means being accountable.
Not to your shareholders, but to your
buddy, your Amigos, your posse, maybe
your parents, unfortunately, to my kids.
In fact, we do have a lot of people
we are obliged to have some
sort of accountability to.
Voice of the people: Okay.
Every single time we start talking
about some new thing on making time,
it sounds like a lot of something
that will just take way too much time.
And I don't have that much time to
be accountable to so many people.
The Host: Look, have I
ever let you down before?
Here, if you've made it this far
in the series, then I think I've
earned enough trust for you to hang
with me for just a few more minutes.
Besides we're about to read the Bible
and you'll look unspiritual if you turn
it off right before the Bible part.
Okay.
Go ahead.
Bible lady.
Hannah: Ecclesiastes 4:9-16.
I have seen that every labor and every
skill which is done is the result of
rivalry between a person and his neighbor.
This is too, is futility
and striving after wind.
the fool folds his hands
and consumes his own flesh.
One hand full of rest is better than two
fistfuls of labor and striving after wind.
Then I looked again at the
futility under the sun.
There was a man without a dependent,
having neither a son nor brother.
Yet there was no end to all his labor.
Indeed
his eyes were not satisfied with riches,
and he never asked, âand for whom do I
labor and deprive myself of pleasure?"
This too is futility, and
it is an unhappy task.
Two are better than one because they
have a good return for their labor.
For if either of them falls, the
one will lift up his companion.
But woe to the one who falls when
there is not another to lift him up.
Furthermore, if two lie down
together, they keep warm.
But how can one be warm alone?
And if one can overpower him who
is alone, two can resist him.
A cord of three strands
is not quickly torn apart.
A poor yet wise youth is better than
an old foolish king who no longer
knows how to receive instruction.
For, he has come out of prison
to become king, even though he
was born poor in his kingdom.
I have seen all those living under
the sun, moved to the side of the
second youth who replaces him.
There is no end to all the people,
to all who are before them.
Even the ones who will come later will
not be happy with him; for this too
is futility and striving after the wind.
The Host: The good news
is that passivity is easy.
The bad news is that it is isolating.
Also unhealthy and not to get too
biblical on you historically, feudal.
Like striving after the wind.
Most people.
Like to think that they
can receive instruction.
And they, or at least.
Me.
I am probably you to believe that
they can take a little constructive
feedback from some close, loved ones.
But the root of the problem is that we
don't have that many close, loved ones.
And the ones that we do have,
don't want to mess things up by
calling you out when you need it.
Look, I'm just telling you like it is.
Um, wait, that's another thing.
If you don't have any close, loved
ones to call you out on stuff.
That only leaves people who don't
actually know and care about you
to call you out on your stuff.
People who don't actually know you like.
Me.
If you want to win, you have to
play as a team, not just on a team.
And to play as a team,
you have to join one.
You have to make some relationships.
If you have people that
you are accountable to, you
will make the time you need.
I'm not always the neatest to people.
Voice of the people:
Yeah, I kind of figured.
you seem more of the creative type.
The Host: Thank you.
I accept your constructive feedback.
Voice of the people: You're welcome.
The Host: As I would say
before I was interrupted.
Some people's houses are always clean.
I've heard.
But mine's not one of them.
I cleaned my house occasionally, but
nothing gets my house cleaner faster
than the threat of people coming over.
I make time to clean things
well, when someone else might see it.
It is for my friends
that I clean my house.
I owe it to them to be better
because of our relationship.
Yes, that obligation can feel like work.
It can feel like stress.
But there are two things to remember.
The first is that your obligation
is to community, not to everyone.
For those of you struggling
with undue stress and an
overeager sense of obligation.
It is freeing to put a name
and a face to the people you
are actually accountable to.
Because it really isn't everyone.
At least beyond just being a good
citizen and decent human being.
The second thing to know is that the
obligation to be a better person also
comes with the tools to actually do it.
To explain.
I have to make a little confession.
Most sermons, documentaries,
public speakers.
Et cetera.
All of that, All try to use a good
metaphor to illustrate their point.
And sometimes they use
a negative metaphor.
Which illustrates the
flip side of your point.
So far, I've been guilting you
into finding a group of friends and
reminding you of your obligation to
find someone to keep you accountable.
But actually up until now,
it's been a negative metaphor.
Remember, you and I, we
aren't actually friends.
I can't guilt you into any major action.
The most I can guilt you
into is just to feel guilty.
Which is not the same as actually
doing something about it.
But there is a chance that I can inspire
you and to taking the first step.
Because I think.
You can take that step.
I think you can be accountable,
be responsible, be a better you.
I believe it.
And I need to believe it because I
believe that I can be a better me.
And I know.
I can't do it without help.
You see the obligation to be a
better person really comes with the
ability to fulfill the obligation.
Because it comes with the
community you need to grow.
It is for my friends
that I cleaned my house.
It is my good friends that
help me clean my house.
I love this quote from Rebecca of sunny
Brook farm by Kate Douglas Wiggin.
Hannah: The soul grows into lovely
habits as easily as into ugly ones.
And the moment a life begins to
blossom into beautiful words and deeds.
That moment a new standard
of conduct is established.
And your eager neighbors, look to you
for a continuous manifestation of the
good cheer, the sympathy, the ready wit,
the comradeship, or the inspiration,
you once showed yourself capable of.
Bear figs for a season or
two, and the world outside
the orchard is very unwilling
should you bear thistles?
The Host: Today's big idea is that
time grows from accountability.
Because the loved ones that hold you
accountable help you become accountable.
They make the time to help
you be who you are made to be.
Here's how you might want
to try doing it this week.
Talk with your friend group about
ways that you want to be better.
Get their feedback on realistic goals.
When someone shares with you,
don't just be polite and tell
them, oh, you're actually great.
You're fine.
If they aren't.
Even if it is just small improvements
and not major flaws, that's an even
better way to start, if you don't have
years of relationship equity build up.
Discuss what you want to change and then
discuss how you would like to change.
Don't expect your plan to be perfect.
This is the beginning
of a beautiful process.
And do try to make sustainable changes.
Things that you can just do
for the rest of your life.
This isn't a temporary diet to
try and reach a goal weight.
This is working towards
permanent improvement.
Next is the important part.
Follow up.
Set deadlines to check in with each other.
Do whatever it takes to follow up
with each other and do whatever
it takes to try and be ready.
When someone follows up with you.
And a pro tip.
When you are discussing changing
behavior, it can be either adding new
behaviors or removing old ones, or,
and this is probably most helpful.
Replacing behaviors.
Voice of the people: This is
still sounding a little, like
adding extra stuff to do.
I get what you're saying about
having a community that can help
me make time for stuff, but there's
still only so much time in a day.
And sometimes things just come too
fast and too much and all at once.
Is it even realistically
possible to make time then?
The Host: Okay, good question.
Let's talk about that next episode.
I'd like to tell you about
the longest day of my life.
The day, my daughter Abigail was born.