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It all started in Fairbanks, Alaska...two soul sisters destined to meet and become lifelong friends. This podcast is in celebration of the BEST FRIEND relationship - a relationship so important, yet not always recognized for its massive significance. Leisa and Tamara interview other best friends to learn how they met and hear their perspectives on friendship.
Hey, besties. My name's Leisa.
Tamara:And my name's Tamara, and we're BFFs.
Leisa:Tamara and I met when we were about 12 years old growing up in good old Fairbanks, Alaska.
Tamara:And we've been best friends forever since.
Leisa:That's right. And that's why we've decided to have some fun, friendly conversations with the bestest of best friends.
Tamara:We'll talk about how we became best friends, our experiences together, and have other best friends on the show to share how they met.
Leisa:Who knows? You never know when you'll meet your next BFF.
Tamara:Now let's get into it, how I met my BFF.
Leisa:Welcome to another episode of how I met my BFF, and it's just me, Lisa, here today. My cohost, Tamara, is at a very important event. So I have some very exciting best friend guests, that I can't wait for you to meet. But before we get into that, I just wanna let you know that one of my dreams came true. I was able to be a blonde finally, which is something I always wish I could be, but my eyes are brown.
Leisa:My eyebrows are brown. I mean, it's it's just doesn't work. It doesn't work. But for Halloween, it sure did. And so I found this dress on, like, a clearance rack.
Leisa:It was, like, used to be a $125, and it was $15. And it was this bubblegum pink dress that was fluffy and and frilly and, happened to fit perfectly. And I'm like, I can make a costume out of this. And so I did my little chat GPT. I said, what costumes would be great for a big, pink, fluffy dress?
Leisa:And one of the answers was the perfect answer, and it was Barbie. And so then I got my long blonde wig and dolled it up, and I got to wear my fancy gold shoes and my fancy jewelry that I already have because I'm kinda like a Barbie girl living in a Barbie world anyway. So, now the kicker to this is that my husband and I were going to a Halloween party, and it was mandatory to dress up. My husband, not so much a dresser upper, definitely not for Halloween, and he is a golf instructor. So I thought, wow.
Leisa:All you need to do is put a visor on, and you can be golf Ken. So there we had it. He was happy. I was happy. Everyone was happy, and we got to be Barbie and Ken for Halloween.
Leisa:So we had fun. We had fun. But and we'll have to hear if if Tamara got to do anything fun for Halloween. But I would love to introduce our guests today. We've got Rachel and Carrie.
Leisa:Welcome to the show.
Rachel Archelaus:Yay.
Carrie Roldan:Thanks for having us.
Leisa:You. Yes. So, I'd I'd love to hear how you met. Who wants to kick us off?
Carrie Roldan:I think it would be fun if you went first, Rachel.
Rachel Archelaus:Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, Carrie and I met because we both joined an online community meant to introduce entrepreneurs, and I joined because I am dreadfully introverted and the idea that someone else could gather people so that I could meet them was fabulous. Carrie is just a people person and a connector, and so I'm not sure why she joined probably just to meet more people. But, anyway, she found me in there, made, an appointment to talk to me.
Rachel Archelaus:And my first impression of Carrie when she called me was like she was in her car. I could hear the wind coming through the speakers. She was probably, like, driving her kids somewhere, and she was having to talk really loud. And I was like, who is this person? What is she doing?
Rachel Archelaus:Why are you calling me now? Right? Like so I was just blown away by her energy and her enthusiasm, and, and I was like, what am I gonna make of her? She's she's amazing. So that's how I met Carrie.
Carrie Roldan:Wow. Rachel, I don't remember. I I do remember talking to you from my car. I remember getting my kids out of my car, like, talking to you in the but I don't remember that being our first meeting. And maybe that's because so this community that we joined, there was, like it was it was forever ago.
Carrie Roldan:But there was, like, a Facebook group where you were supposed to introduce yourself and say things about yourself, and I may have learned about you through somebody else or, like, had some sort of exposure to Rachel. So what I knew about Rachel when I when we had that call and because was that the call was I inviting you to be on my show?
Rachel Archelaus:I think you were just introducing yourself to me. I'm not sure if you were inviting me or not. I don't remember.
Carrie Roldan:Well, regardless, I knew Rachel was psychic, and so I was afraid to talk to her because I thought that she would read my mind. I thought that she could see right through me. I thought that she could see my every insecurity, my, like and I consider myself a really genuine person, but the thought that someone could see in there, really freaked me out. So that's what I remember about that conversation. And then she told me that she ran track in high school, And so that was, like, our little connection point because I'm a cross country and track coach.
Carrie Roldan:And so yeah. But I I was so intrigued by Rachel. She had a program at the time, soul centered boot camp or soul centered business boot camp, and that is what I wanted. So I had joined that community because I was brand new in starting I I wanted to be a life coach. My business has evolved since then, but that still is really at at the core of what I do.
Carrie Roldan:And I was like, where do I find people who want life coaching? And so I was in that group for that. And then, I met Rachel, and I remember I I the so our first, like, real in person encounter was virtual. We actually that's a whole another story about our first real in person encounter. But our first virtual encounter was I used to have a, a Google Hangout on air show.
Carrie Roldan:And, I invited Rachel to be on it, and the title of that show had something to do with finding your purpose. And so I wanted Rachel to, like, help me find my purpose. So that's why we were there.
Leisa:I love that. Wow. Okay. I'm like I probably have, like, 50 questions. That's so cool.
Leisa:So had you never had an experience with a psychic before, or, like, what was what led you to have those trepidations? Yeah.
Carrie Roldan:I had had, an experience with a psychic, and it was someone who like, a friend had recommended saying that you had to do this, and it was sort of like a novelty. Like, I I loved my experience. I was like, this is the coolest thing ever. But there's something about Rachel, and you're probably experiencing it now. Like, she has this penetrating aura, like this and and almost zero affect.
Carrie Roldan:Like, when she's listening, she's just sort of blank. And I think because I am such a people person and I'm such a reader of other people, Rachel freaked me out because she was reading me, I think, or she was just, like, more of a blank slate. And so I was a little intimidated by that. She's a she's Rachel is a highly evolved being, and I've evolved a lot since then. But at the time, I was just feeling all sorts of insecurity.
Leisa:Oh my gosh. I love that. Rachel, did you know that she was feeling that way?
Rachel Archelaus:No. I mean, because if my superpower, right, is my, all knowing nature, which, you know, I'm joking. Carrie's superpower is her warm, welcoming personality. So I was just sort of blown away by her energy where she was like, uh-oh. What is she thinking about me?
Rachel Archelaus:And I was just thinking wonderful things.
Carrie Roldan:Aw.
Leisa:Isn't that funny? I love when we can get that, like, no. You were wrong. The things that you were worried about weren't actually occurring. That's nice to get that validation.
Leisa:We don't always get the other side of that. So how cool is that? So then how did it start to evolve into more of a friendship? Because you're meeting someone on a Facebook group or through networking, and then you have a meeting, and then it can usually it can fizzle out after that, but something kept you going. Rachel, do you wanna take this one?
Rachel Archelaus:Yeah. So Carrie did have me on her show a couple times, and I think we just sort of we were very different. We were more different then than we are now, but there was something there. There was, like, a connection. And so she invited me into a mastermind that she created with a couple people from that group that we met from.
Rachel Archelaus:And because of the nature of a mastermind, which is a small intimate group where you're sharing highs and lows and you're trying to grow together, that really does create a bond. And, so we've been in that group together now. It was supposed to start, it's supposed to be for 6 months, and we're still together meeting every single month, what, 9 years later, 8 years later, something like that.
Carrie Roldan:A 9, I think.
Rachel Archelaus:Yeah. So that that's really where we developed more of a friendship.
Leisa:Clearly, something's working. So, Carrie, how about you? Same, or do you have a different take on how the friendship started to evolve?
Carrie Roldan:Yeah. So same. I think, you know, I just I was so intrigued by Rachel, and she was doing business in a way that I really wanted to do business so naturally, so 100% herself, and she was speaking a language. She was talking a lot about, like, woo woo things. Right?
Carrie Roldan:Being psychic. And and so I started to take a lot of Rachel's courses. She had, one on, enhancing your psychic abilities, and I I was like, I can do this too. So that that was really cool. And there was just something about Rachel being she's how many years younger are you than me, Rachel?
Rachel Archelaus:6.
Carrie Roldan:Okay. So she's 6 years younger than me. And in the circles that we were running in, we were 2 of the younger people there. Like, this group of entrepreneurs, most of them were probably in their forties, fifties, early sixties. So I think we had that in common as well.
Carrie Roldan:But she just had this, like, calm, confident she had was unwilling to compromise her integrity. I think that's what probably brought us together. She was just all about living in total alignment, and I wanted to run my business that way. So even though she was, like, a few years younger than me, she was probably a couple years ahead of me in business. So that's one of the reasons why I invited her into the mastermind.
Carrie Roldan:But, also, I was trying to figure out what I wanted my business to be. And as you know, Lisa, right now, I've branded myself the business BFF, which is why, initially, you were like, BFF? We need to talk. And and so I got a bunch of people together who I was like, listen. What I think is missing in this entrepreneurial space is actual team.
Carrie Roldan:So my experience before becoming a coach is that I was, a high school teacher and cross country and track coach. And before that, I was a highly successful cross country and track athlete. And so I knew what it was like to be a member of a really close knit team of people. And I also know that the success that my cross country teams had in high school and in college had something to do with talent, had something to do with preparation, but it had a lot to do with us, like, being invested in each other. Right?
Carrie Roldan:Like, I used the expression, let's lock arms. And I we were at a conference, and I was sort of they were like, what's your $1,000,000 idea? What's your thing? And I was like, I think that's my $1,000,000 idea. I think my thing is that what entrepreneurs really need, especially women entrepreneurs.
Carrie Roldan:Right? What we really need are business BFFs. Right? We really need people who have locked arms with us, who aren't trying to do, like, transactional things. I feel like everything that I had experienced thus far was like and the nature of the community that we were in was very much like, I'll scratch your back, you scratch mine.
Carrie Roldan:And I just felt like that's not what I wanted. So I asked these 7 women because there's well, 6 other women besides me because there's 7 people on a varsity cross country team, and I just thought that was the perfect number. Like, will you do this experiment with me? But I think the question was about, like, is that when we became connected? So, yeah, so, like, my whole premise behind getting us together was, like, how close can we become?
Carrie Roldan:How how deep can we go? And we went deep, and I I think that's a testament to just putting women in a room together. But also, Rachel was brave. Rachel was not afraid to be like, I'm really different. And that there is just, like, something magnetic about that that drew me in.
Carrie Roldan:And the longer we were in those conversations together, the more we kinda realized, like, oh, I think we're business BFFs, and we do a lot of business things together. I also think we're BFFs. Like, I found myself there was this weird period. I don't know if you had this period, Rachel. I had a weird period where I felt like, am I taking advantage of her?
Carrie Roldan:Am I calling her as a friend or as a business? Like, should I be paying her for this? Like, there did you have that too, actually?
Rachel Archelaus:No. I mean, I think, you know, there's there's a clear cut delineation if someone has a career as, like, a doctor or you have to go to their office, you know, to see them or ask them for advice. But for people who are in our industry of these soft services, I think it can get confusing as to like, where does the boundary lie? But I never felt taken advantage of from you at all. I think we just sort of naturally started relying on each other for more things because we did become friends outside of just the group.
Rachel Archelaus:And so we have worked together formally, and that was really easy to keep the boundaries up for. We also work together now in in intuitive art. And so I think we've been really good at, like, being friends and becoming even closer as friends while we work together and have other relationships.
Leisa:Beautiful. When did it start to feel like Carrie, you kinda mentioned that, like, that you were like, oh, I think we're business best friends, and then wait. I think we're actually best friends' best friends. Like, and I'll Rachel, you can grab this one. When do you feel like that turned, or what made that that transition?
Rachel Archelaus:You know, it's it feels like it happened so organically that it's really hard to even put a year on it. You know? Like, I think in the mastermind, once we started talking outside of that, that's really when I felt like, okay, we're more than just business friends. You know? We're we we did start talking a lot more about personal things in the mastermind, which helped us all get closer.
Rachel Archelaus:But then when we started texting and Marco Polo ing outside and just talking about our day, talking about our spouses, talking about, you know, other mundane things, I think that's when you really start to, like, get a familiarity with someone and, open up and feel more comfortable. And one of the things I think that really cemented our relationship was actually when we pissed each other off, because we were able to communicate really well and be like, okay. You hurt my feelings, and, oh, you hurt my feelings too. And, you know, having the ability to own your feelings, but to talk it through with someone, that's real love. Like, that is real connection, and I think it's really rare.
Rachel Archelaus:So I I definitely felt in that moment. Like, this is someone that I trust and love, and it's worth communicating with, because they're exceptional. Aw. I
Carrie Roldan:was gonna say I was gonna say the same thing. So I actually remember a time because we didn't meet in person, like, physically meet. So we've been in we've been connected to each other for 9 or 10 years. I think I've considered Rachel one of my best friends since, I don't know, at least the last 5 or 6 years, and we didn't meet in person until has it was it been a year and a half, 2 years?
Rachel Archelaus:Last last summer. Not this summer, 2024, but 2023. Mhmm.
Carrie Roldan:And we've only done it one time. So we've actually only physically been in each other's presence that one time. And I felt like she was my best friend way before that, but I think that's craziness. Right? That, like, I've only physically met my best friend one time.
Carrie Roldan:That's insane. But I remember that you wanted to meet years earlier when we were maybe just, like, connected in business and maybe we're business besties. And she and her partner were in the town that I live in, and she was like, you know, if you can get together, that would be great, but if you can't, no worries. And I was just afraid. I was like, I don't know.
Carrie Roldan:It was like the Seinfeld episode of, like, worlds are colliding. I don't know if I'm ready. And so I think I was busy, but I probably could have, like, figured things out. But I was like, I'm not ready to meet her. And then, you know, now I would, like, jump at the chance.
Carrie Roldan:If if Rachel was in my town, I would, like, move things around and make sure that I would move mountains to make sure that I was in her physical presence.
Leisa:Where do you both live? Carrie, where do you live?
Carrie Roldan:I live in Southern California, so I'm in Costa Mesa.
Leisa:Oh, okay. Me too. Or, I mean, I'm not in Costa Mesa, but I'm in Southern California. What about you, Rachel? Where do you live?
Rachel Archelaus:I live about 10 minutes south of Salt Lake City in Utah.
Leisa:Not that far. Not that far. Not that far.
Carrie Roldan:Since we met when we met, you lived in Connecticut, and then she lived in Phoenix for a long time. And now she's in Utah, so she's a she's a traveler. And there was a time this was actually when we kind of became, I think, pretty close friends. There was a time when Rachel was, like, living in her van and traveling the country, and she was doing all the things. So yeah.
Leisa:So many people did that, especially during the pandemic where they're just, like, selling everything, taking it on the road. I have so many so many and still it's happening. I love that. I love that. I don't know if I could fit all my shoes in a van, but I I, yeah, I don't think it's for me.
Leisa:But I know a lot of people absolutely love it. So you're Rachel, you're now back in in a structure. You still do the van thing, or what what's your situation?
Rachel Archelaus:I did the van thing for about a year, but, yeah, I'm in a house now. I've been I've been a little more settled the past few years.
Leisa:Was it weird to transition from one to the other?
Rachel Archelaus:No. Not really. I really like variety, so
Leisa:Oh, cool.
Rachel Archelaus:It was fun.
Leisa:Oh, good. Very cool. Alright. So one other question, because I've heard you both mention some things that you really appreciate and love about the other person. So I'm gonna ask, what do you wish for each other?
Leisa:Like, Rachel, what do you wish for Carrie? And then we'll hear from Carrie what she wishes for you, Rachel.
Rachel Archelaus:Well, I wish that Carrie gets everything she wants. I mean, she's so clear and loving and positive and optimistic and such a bright light. Like, if that was compensated, she would be the world's richest person. Like, I just I wish for her that anything she desires just instantly manifests at her feet.
Carrie Roldan:Thanks, lady.
Leisa:You're welcome.
Carrie Roldan:I wish that for you too, but that actually happens for Rachel, like, so effortlessly, in so many ways. So I knew you were gonna ask a question like this. I think for Rachel, I just continue to wish for more ease, more fun. Like, Rachel's really good at just doing whatever she wants whenever she wants. Like, she's amazing.
Carrie Roldan:So I just want so much fun. One of my favorite things is getting messages from Rachel. So we talk every day, maybe multiple times a day over Marco Polo. So it's like a video app. The, like, childish, giddy, excited messages that I get when she's like, oh, I got to do this thing.
Carrie Roldan:And so for her, it can be she gets to do whatever she wants, but I love it when she gets the little delights. Like, the little, I just got this makeup, and it was amazing. So that's what I'm gonna wish for you, Rachel, is just all the surprise and delights.
Rachel Archelaus:Thank you.
Leisa:I love the word delight. That's one of my intention words. Like, if I'm gonna go to a meeting or something, I'm like, I welcome delight today, and just delight's like a good surprise, like a little beautiful present. Yeah. So delightful.
Leisa:It is delightful. Right? And so what would you if you were together in person, what would you do together? Well, let's see. Go ahead.
Rachel Archelaus:Go ahead. Go ahead.
Leisa:Carrie, what would you guys do together?
Carrie Roldan:So I I'm gonna answer the question probably differently than Rachel because I feel like if we were, at this stage in our lives right now together in person, it would either be because we were doing some sort of intentional retreat together or because we were hosting some sort of intentional retreat together. So, I feel I'm gonna answer if we were hosting the retreat because I think that would be amazing. We would be lighting up the room. We would be helping pin people connect with themselves. We would definitely be teaching in Rachel's method of intuitive art.
Carrie Roldan:And, I know I would be helping women connect on a deeper level so that they can do what they really wanna do with their lives and businesses. And we would also be letting magic happen. When we get together, like, magic happens. What about you, Rachel?
Rachel Archelaus:Well, I love that. So we would do that during the day, and then in the evening, we would be hanging out around the pool and not drinking alcohol because neither of us drink, which is so fun, and probably talking about our lives, our men, how things are gonna improve and basking in whatever we did that day.
Carrie Roldan:I think there would be massages involved too.
Rachel Archelaus:Yeah. I like that.
Leisa:I'm sensing a retreat coming. Yeah.
Carrie Roldan:We didn't I didn't know until we started talking, so thank you, Lisa.
Leisa:I think we just launched it. I love that. Well, I am thank you so much for being on our show. I love hearing about your friendship, and I can feel the the bright sunlight coming through both of you today. And it it's just gonna shower all of our guests.
Leisa:So, thank you or, I mean, all of our besties. Honestly, you you never know where you're gonna meet your next BFF. It could be, through a Facebook group, which you're not the 1st guest of ours to meet through Facebook or or a community like that. It could be through Zoom. It could be through, I don't know, walking your dog.
Leisa:I don't know. It could come from anywhere. But thank you so much for being on our show, and we'll see you next time, besties. Bye. Hey, bestie.
Leisa:Thanks for listening. If you like this episode, be sure to hit that subscribe button to get notified of new episodes and check out cool bestie gift ideas at how I met my bff.com.
Tamara:That's right. And, also, leave us a review. Those reviews help us out a lot and are one of the best ways to support us.
Leisa:Yes. And if you have a fun story about how you met your BFF, send us an email at info at how I met my bff.com. We would love to hear about it.
Tamara:Definitely. And, hey, maybe we'll have you on our next episode.
Leisa:That would be awesome. Until next time.
Tamara:Love you, BFFs.