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What do you do when the bottom drops out and life breaks in ways you never imagined? Charlie and Jill LeBlanc have walked that road, and through their personal story of loss, they’ve discovered the sustaining power of God's presence. In this podcast, they offer heartfelt conversations, Scripture-based encouragement, and the kind of hope that only comes from experience. Whether you're grieving, struggling, or searching for peace in the middle of chaos, this space is for you.
Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for joining us. This is the Finding Hope Podcast with Charlie and Jill LeBlanc. And today we have a very special guest with us. We have Jerri Ann Savelle with us.
Jill LeBlanc:And Jerri Ann, thank you so much for coming to be with us.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Thank you guys for having me. It's an honor. Your book just helped me so much through the grief process. So thank you for writing that. And I'm just grateful to be here.
Jerri Ann Savelle:It was interesting because I just read your book not too long ago, and then I got Tonda's invite. And I'm like, oh, how awesome. Oh, So thank you. Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:You're welcome. Well, well, Jerri Ann, we we, we're honored that you're on. And we chatted a little bit before we got on air. But, know, as I mentioned to you, we had the privilege of being with your dad. Jerri Ann lost her father just a little less than two years ago.
Charlie LeBlanc:So her pain of the loss of her father is very, very fresh. And, and I was one of you know, I was saying earlier how what an honor it was for us to be with your dad a couple of times in leading worship for him preaching and, and what a sweet and gentle man, he was and a great preacher, of course. And so, so Jerri Ann, we just wanted to just have you on to just share, you know, we've seen your YouTube channel, we've seen the condolence etiquette part one and two, which was so powerful. Powerful. And it really blessed us so much.
Charlie LeBlanc:But we just wanted to ask you, you know, just like, explain to the people what you've been through and some of the things that helped you and didn't help you, you know.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yeah. Well, I was telling you earlier that I read your book after I did those condolence etiquette YouTubes. And I was just amazed at how much we had in common. And I mean, saying exact scenarios and do's and don'ts that you were saying in your book too. But I learned a lot and I wanted to incorporate it into my life now that when someone's going through grief, I know what to say and what not to say, because I tend to be the person who didn't say anything, because I didn't know, you know, how to respond.
Jerri Ann Savelle:So I would be the one that didn't say anything. But I've learned what's, what's the best way, you know, and when and your relationship with that person. When my dad passed away, and I'll tell you about it, it was, 04/15/2024.
Charlie LeBlanc:I failed to say this, but tell them a little bit about your dad. We didn't properly introduce him for those who say, well, who's Jerry Savelle?
Jerri Ann Savelle:Was the greatest preacher in the world. My favorite preacher in the world. But he was an evangelist and preached fifty five years around the world. My childhood, he was gone on average twenty one days a month and continued that all the way up until the moment he passed away. And he was out preaching in California and he was supposed to meet my mother when he got off the plane at Cracker Barrel.
Jerri Ann Savelle:That was their little spot when he got off the plane. So it was just a trip like every other. And I saw my daddy Thursday night. He died on that Monday. I saw him Thursday night.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I was standing in his driveway. And I said, Daddy, where are you going this time? And he said, I'm out going to New Mexico and California. And I said, Where are you going to be home? He said, Monday.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I gave him a kiss and a hug, and I never knew it'd be the last time. It still brings tears to my eyes because I wish I could have held him a little tighter. I'm a daddy's girl. I mean, I'm named after I always said in my world, was Jesus, daddy, and Elvis. Those were my three men.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And my dad would always say, thank you. Thank you very much. But he was, I always said, daddy was the closest thing to Jesus. What I think Jesus is like, that's who my dad was walking this earth. And so Monday morning, April 15, we have his phone, we have his iPad, we could track.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And his last act on earth, he was giving money to someone to help with their medical expenses. And then he was giving money to a church in San Diego. And I preached at that church a few weeks ago. But, that was his last act. And he had a little journal where he wrote things to do.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And so he has the date, the date he passed, he has those things. And we tracked on his phone, he talked to his office and he passed. He dropped instantly in the closet in the hotel room, zipping up his garment bag. Oh. So he he laid there maybe twenty to forty minutes before the man that traveled with him knocked on the door and and found my daddy there.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Oh.
Charlie LeBlanc:So
Jerri Ann Savelle:sorry. So he had a blocked artery in his neck, and they called it the silent killer. I mean, you can one minute you're here and the next you're in heaven. Wow. And that's what happened.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And daddy was warned to get it fixed. And COVID came, he had a surgery scheduled. COVID came, it got canceled, he put it off. He was feeling good. And a lot of men, I tell this too, I warn men especially, don't put off those things.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Dad was strong. He traveled so much. He'd go, go, go. And I think it was just his work ethic was like, don't complain. And he may have had symptoms and we didn't know about it.
Jerri Ann Savelle:But I called him one day on the road and I said, Daddy, I looked at your schedule and you're just going too much. You don't have to do this. He was 77 years old and he was trying to keep that schedule he did in his 40s. And he said to me, thank you for your concern. I appreciate it.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And that meant mind your business. I'm going to keep doing what I want to do. So daddy passed doing what he loved to do. But I don't think that he used wisdom. He should have taken care of this.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And my mother and I have gone through the cycle of guilt of we should have made him, get off the road and get to the hospital and have the surgery. And he would have listened to me. I know he would have had I been that stern. My mom would always go, your dad will listen to you. But I walked through that regret of, oh, I just wish I had said daddy go.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Anyways, my life changed April 15, the worst day of my life. Just my hero, one of my best friends, just gone, just gone. And my husband, his mother died of brain cancer. So we talked about instant death and then death that you know is coming. There's good and bad in both of that.
Jill LeBlanc:Exactly. Yes.
Jerri Ann Savelle:He said he had to watch his mother pass, which is hard, but he also got time with her. In my dad's case, I didn't get the time, but then I didn't have to see him struggle and suffer. So, you know, I don't know, but it bothered me after that when people would say, ministers would say, don't say loss, you know where they are. It's not a loss. Yes, it is.
Jerri Ann Savelle:It's a loss to my life. I I know where my dad where he is, but it is a loss to my life. My life is not the same. I mean, half of my DNA is gone. I mean, he's gone and it is a loss.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Now it's learning to live without that person. And it's one day at a time, one moment at a time. I'm that two years down the road now, those guttural sobs don't come like they did. Occasionally I'll just, it'll come. But, I mean, I can I watched a message of his yesterday on YouTube, and I could watch him from a place of a minister?
Jerri Ann Savelle:He is ministering to me. But then I saw daddy and I had to turn it off. I was like, I can't do it. So that's where I'm at now is just walking through the process of it. And I learned so much through it, of what to say, what not to say.
Jerri Ann Savelle:We had people, we flew out to California where he passed and we stayed in the hotel where he passed. We were even on the same floor. The rooms when you were in were on the same floor that he passed away. And they let us go in the room and see where he was. But people were calling right then and messaging, like what happened?
Jerri Ann Savelle:People from high school, people I hadn't talked to in decades. And I was like, this isn't the place. And so again, I learned so much about what is my relationship with that person and when is the best timing to reach out? I mean, if it's a dear close friend and a family member, yes. But people that are distant, give it some time.
Jerri Ann Savelle:We were trying to view his body and I've got friends, people I knew from decades ago going, what happened? We heard your dad died. Then I had someone-
Jill LeBlanc:So insensitive.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yes. And then I had someone reach out asking for a reserved seat at his memorial.
Charlie LeBlanc:I heard you say that on your podcast. I was like, What?
Jerri Ann Savelle:I was like
Charlie LeBlanc:The insensitivity of some people, they have, I mean, I'm shocked.
Jerri Ann Savelle:It was the day of. It was the day of. It wasn't like a week later. It was like, I just, I was blown away. Anyways, there were just so much I learned.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah, well, Jerri Ann, you know, we said in our book, and of course we say all the time when we preach that, you know, we understand, you know, because unless you've had a loss like you have, and we have, it's hard to really comprehend what that's like and what to say and what not to say. And that's why we appreciate you and what you're doing right now in educating people about this issue because people just don't understand. But we remembered and Jill even put it in the book where, you know, we went to a friend of ours on the Joyce Meyer team, a singer on the Joyce Meyer team that we were with. Her husband died, just bam. And he was one of the greatest, funniest jokesters and everything, and he'd always make a joke out of everything.
Charlie LeBlanc:We walked into their funeral, we were just barely a minute late, unfortunately. And she was there, and Jill said, Well, praise the Lord.
Jill LeBlanc:She was just walking How
Charlie LeBlanc:did you say it babe?
Jill LeBlanc:I said, Well, praise the Lord. Said,
Charlie LeBlanc:don't know
Jill LeBlanc:if I said praise the Lord, but I said, Hey, I just said, I said, he, Roland always wanted to be, he always wanted to beat us to heaven. So he beat us there something stupid. I don't even remember. Now I'm so embarrassed.
Charlie LeBlanc:You just kind of went.
Jill LeBlanc:I just said something really stupid and insensitive. And looking back, I just want to go dig my hole.
Jerri Ann Savelle:We've all done it. I was at a conference in last February. So dad hadn't even been gone a whole year. And the the minister's wife got up, and she was inviting them to come to a meeting that my dad does with Kenneth Copeland every year. And she goes, well, Jerri Savelle's not gonna be there anymore.
Jerri Ann Savelle:So Kenneth can take all the time he wants. And I'm on the front row and she was trying to be cute and funny, and it just wasn't funny to me. And I I felt the room because everyone knew I was there and you could feel the air, like, suck out of the room. I almost got up and walked out. And I know she didn't mean to hurt me at all, but she was trying
Jill LeBlanc:to
Jerri Ann Savelle:be And I was like, that's my daddy you're talking about and that's not cute right now.
Jill LeBlanc:I know it's tough.
Jerri Ann Savelle:We've all done it. We've all said things that Yeah, no.
Charlie LeBlanc:Don't we have to live in another level of forgiveness, don't
Jerri Ann Savelle:we? Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:At this point in our walk, you know, it's like, the Bible says comfort the feeble minded, you know, it's like we didn't understand and now so many people around us don't understand and they continue to say things like that, that blows my mind. It'd have been different as she'd have said, we miss Jerri Ann, we know he's in heaven rooting us on, so we're still going to have a great meeting. We know he'd be there.
Jerri Ann Savelle:But to
Charlie LeBlanc:say that and not even acknowledge that was so insensitive. God bless her, love her. She probably feels bad about it now, hopefully.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I'm sure she does because I'm publicly saying it, but I'm like, you just, you know, was instantly said, and she didn't mean it. I know that, but it's just us being aware of, you know, that's someone's father, that's someone's loved one. It's not just a public figure, but he was my dad, you know?
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's touching to hear and hurtful at the same time to hear you say my daddy, you know, who you're a mother of five kids, is it?
Jerri Ann Savelle:Six, six.
Jill LeBlanc:Six kids.
Jerri Ann Savelle:It's always on And that last
Charlie LeBlanc:is your daughter the youngest?
Jerri Ann Savelle:No, she's number three, right in the middle.
Charlie LeBlanc:You are a you're more than a conqueror. Mom I'm one of and my mom carried six. I was like, woah.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Wow. Had on a shirt yesterday that said Wonder Woman, and someone said, I like your shirt. And I said, well, I've given birth to six kids. I deserve to wear this shirt.
Charlie LeBlanc:You do.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Okay. Going back to daddy, I used to always say because people would call him their spiritual father, or they'd call him dad. A lot of people called him dad. I never minded. It never bothered me.
Jerri Ann Savelle:But I would say there's only two people in the world that can call him daddy. So you better not call him daddy. That's Jerri Ann Savelle. We can call him daddy. You can call him daddy.
Charlie LeBlanc:That's really sweet. It's hard to hear you say that, to be honest. You know, we have two daughters. We had a son and two daughters. We lost our son, as you know.
Charlie LeBlanc:And yeah, just that little sweetness of daddy, you know, touches me deeply. And it shows the relationship you had with him, which inspires me to be a better dad. But yeah, Jerri Ann, you know, you've experienced just a tragic, tragic loss, And it's so unexpected at that age. It's young, especially at my age.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yeah, when we get older, it seems really young.
Charlie LeBlanc:Doctor. Exactly. And, you know, how did this you know, reverberate into your family? I mean, like, I know when we lost Bo, it was all about me. I was like, the pain was beyond words.
Charlie LeBlanc:I knew my wife was in terrible pain. Excuse me, that wasn't a tear that was a cough. But sometimes I do cry, trust me on But these no, I knew Jill was in excruciating pain and so much we could talk about here. I mean, Jill's reaction was anger. She was so mad.
Charlie LeBlanc:And my reaction at first was just to fix everything, you know, to make sure everybody's okay, everybody's okay. Of course, you can't fix everything. But everyone responds a little bit differently. How did the rest of your dear family, how did they respond? Your sister, your mother?
Charlie LeBlanc:I mean, I know it's horrible, but was there some differences in seeing the way they grieved and mourned?
Jerri Ann Savelle:Doctor. Yes. Well, my mom has loved my dad since she was nine. And daddy was 11 when they met. So they got married at 17 and 19.
Jerri Ann Savelle:So that's the only man she's ever loved. Her world was waiting for him to come home. And she's like, he's not coming through that kitchen door anymore. So having to learn life without him since she was 17 years old, I can't imagine. I mean, she still will call me.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I miss daddy. I miss daddy. She's still crying. She's put on a braver face than I have in public. She stepped up to run the ministry.
Jerri Ann Savelle:So she puts on a mask sometimes to be brave. But at home, she lays in bed and cries and misses And we feel like it's only four months. That's kind of how it feels. And with the traveling evangelist partner and dad, we kind of still think he's on a long trip and he's gonna come back home. And I'm thinking, dad, come on, it's been long enough.
Jerri Ann Savelle:You need to come And home he's not coming back home. So mom's really had, she's in that big old house all by herself. And she's just had to learn to live life. And then my sister, we're only thirteen months apart. She's the only one in the world, because we're the only one that shared them that gets it.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Like we feel exactly the same. I saw her the other day. I drove by her office and ran in and we sat there and just cried and cried for daddy, but she's the only one that gets exactly how I feel. And then my husband has just been the most amazing partner through this. He loved my dad.
Jerri Ann Savelle:He respected my dad, and he's just let me grieve and just cry. And he's known when to hug me and when I don't want to be hugged. He has just been so sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Because when I came home from California from trying to get his body back home, I walked in the front door and my husband went to hug me. And I remember being like, don't touch me.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Like, was just like, I can't explain it. Maybe you understand, but I just, I was like, I don't wanna be touched. And I kind of was mad. And I was like, my daddy's been the only one that's been there for me through divorces. I've been married several times.
Jerri Ann Savelle:My daddy picked up the pieces of my life and my dad always said, it's gonna be okay. Daddy's gonna take care of it. He always was that person for me. And I was like, get pointing at my husband and I don't know that you're going to be there for me. And he said, Jerri, I am, I'm here.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I'm never leaving you. I'm here. I put my guard down and I let my husband hold me. And it brought such even strength to our marriage. And we've only been married six years in April, but it brought us closer together, this grieving journey that I allowed him to not take the place of my dad, but be there.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And it's just been precious. That's the word it's been precious for him to be there and allow me to just, I just out of the blue, go, I miss my daddy. I miss my, and he goes, I know, babe, I know you do. And then my pick up and keep going. He's been just a massive blessing through the grief journey for me.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Thank God, what a gift. Yes. Cause you know that loss can, in a family can split. I would think as a child, losing a child that's on a whole different, but I've heard that it can split up marriages. So when you come together, you know, and are there, and and I'm sure there are times both of you were both weak at the same time or both strong or vice versa.
Jerri Ann Savelle:But I mean, look at you both. You've you've persevered after all these years and are now able to share. It's a blessing.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah, we were warned very early on, to put a guard, to guard our relationship and to do what we could to not try to fix each other, but just to acknowledge each other's pain and just give each other space when we needed to. Yes. Yeah. So we're so grateful for that.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yes. Advise. Your marriage really is a testimony. That is a blessing and example. Dad was the glue to our family.
Jerri Ann Savelle:So things are different now. He was the family person. Even though he was so busy,
Charlie LeBlanc:he
Jerri Ann Savelle:traveled so much. As soon as he got off the road, he came to my house, or he'd call me. He had a weekend house about fifteen minutes down the road. And that's where he would go when he got off the road and he would call and say, Hey, Jerri, you want to go to lunch? And Oh, I miss that.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Cherish those times with him and I cherish them then, but I don't get those calls anymore. That's not my mom. My mom is not that person. That was one thing that really bugged me. I didn't write it in my notes, but it's in my notes in here.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Where people would go, will you still have your mom? And I'd be like, yes, I'm grateful. That would be like someone saying to you guys, will you still have your daughters?
Jill LeBlanc:And they have.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And it's just so insensitive. And I would think of that, like with my six children, if someone said, will you still have five? But no one takes his place and his place in my life and the relationship. So man, people can say some really insensitive things, and it really has caused me to just make sure that when I'm talking to someone who's gone through a loss, that I'm very selective about my words. And I said on my condolence etiquette, I think less is more.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I've heard that. Like, you don't have to preach to people. Know where my dad is. I know he's far better there. I know all that.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I know all the comfort scriptures. I know all the scriptures on heaven. I know all that. I don't wanna be preached out right now. Right.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Just I don't wanna be preached out. Just say you love me. You're praying for me. You're thinking of me. That's it.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yeah. We had one person who reached out and said they had mine, my sister, and my mother's numbers. And they're like, I'm gonna send you a scripture every day. And my mother was so bald to say, please don't do that because we were trying to reply to everyone. Thank you.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Just thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for reaching out. Then someone replied back with a scripture, and then you feel like you gotta reply back.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And it was exhausting. I'm like and I loved when people would say, I'm thinking of you. I'm praying for you. No reply necessary.
Charlie LeBlanc:Exactly.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I thought that was just so great. And I would just heart it, you know? Yeah. Thought that was a great response.
Jill LeBlanc:It is.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I had certain friends I thought was so precious. They wouldn't even say anything, just prayer emoji, just out of the blue, a prayer emoji. And just things like that just touched my heart. But it was mainly in the beginning, the nosy people that are reaching out, not so much that they care. Yeah, they care, but they want to know what happened.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Right. That influx of people, they're all gone. But here it is almost two years later, those ones that just say, I heard this song today, and it made me think of you and your daddy, and I wanted to send this to you. That touches my heart now. My sister said she was that we grew up going to believers conventions, Kenneth Copeland believers.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I mean, we were there since the very first one.
Charlie LeBlanc:Front row.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yes, front row my whole life. And Terri said that, okay, dad passed in April and then they had July is when they normally have it. And I remember her texting me, I didn't go, but she said, Jerri, no one's, they're acting like he, no one's saying anything.
Jill LeBlanc:Oh my gosh.
Jerri Ann Savelle:No one's mentioning that. No, they did from the pulpit, they said, but people by. And I think people are afraid.
Jill LeBlanc:Don't know
Jerri Ann Savelle:what to say. So just ignore it. But it was hurtful because people are not acknowledging. I would prefer, like someone said to me the other day, I don't know if you want to talk about your dad. I said, no, please, please.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I want you to talk about my dad. Yes, absolutely. I had a lady come up to me. I live in Granbury, Texas, a cute little town square with all the antique shops. And it's just this quaint little town.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And a lady walked up to me in the store not too long ago. And she said, I know this may be awkward. And she goes, I just want to give you a hug and just tell you, I'm thinking of you and I know how close you and your dad were. And she said, I didn't want to bring him up. And I said, no, thank you.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Thank you. That means so much to me. So it's just learning how to be sensitive, what to And say, what not to again, I think less is more, especially in those first few days and weeks.
Charlie LeBlanc:Jerri Ann, when our son died, our daughter, our oldest daughter was pregnant with our first grandson. And so I think Joe, long was it four or five months, six months, maybe at the most after he died in January, I think came from
Jill LeBlanc:six months later.
Charlie LeBlanc:And so people started hearing about my daughter being pregnant, our daughter being pregnant, and so they're, Oh, you're gonna have a grandson. So they come up to us at church or whatever, and it wasn't like, Boy, I'm thinking about the pain that you're going through. It was more like, Oh, I hear you're having a grandson. It's like, Don't think I don't want to bring up Bob. And then after he was born, it was like, Oh, you've got grandson?
Charlie LeBlanc:Oh, wow, that's awesome. Excited. And of course, we were excited like any grandparent would be with their first grandson. We were thrilled. But when people were pushing that on us to try to make the loss of our only son, okay, that was like, don't
Jerri Ann Savelle:And do
Charlie LeBlanc:so we put a little bit of that in the book too, but it's just like, you know, it's almost like hypnosis, like, don't think of both, think about your grandson. Know, they love to talk to us about you could have instead said, Listen, I know this doesn't take the place of your son, but I'm sure that it does bring some help to you in this journey.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Those are perfect words right there.
Charlie LeBlanc:Exactly. And it did, but because, and especially for Jill, I remember she was just like, almost didn't even wanna embrace our grandson at first just too much because-
Jill LeBlanc:Because there was so much of that, like what he was talking about. So I was almost a little bit put off in my heart. Of course, I held him, everything like that. But just in my heart, I couldn't just embrace just who he was because I'd been so poisoned by so many insensitive people. But the Lord really did use him to bring a lot of healing in my heart.
Jill LeBlanc:So that was really beautiful.
Charlie LeBlanc:To this day he's 16 now going on seven.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And we're really tight.
Jerri Ann Savelle:It's such a new place in life of learning how to move forward in this new journey without that person, it's such a process, you know? It is There's such things I'm looking at in my life that I'll never do again. It's just, that's never going to be that way again. Holidays look different.
Jill LeBlanc:Oh, holidays.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yeah. His birthday is Christmas Eve. Oh gosh. Yeah. So we had a tradition, birthday party in afternoon, like Christmas Eve, we opened the family gifts.
Jerri Ann Savelle:It doesn't look the same anymore. I don't even know if I want to go to my sister's house for Christmas Eve. We've talked about just going to Florida to the beach. It doesn't look the same to me anymore.
Jill LeBlanc:So
Jerri Ann Savelle:just learning life without this person, and then someone tell you, well, you still got so and so, or I had someone on my ministry page tell me it's time for you to wipe the tears, get over it, so to speak, get on with, you know, and start your own ministry. And I'm like, first of I've had my own ministry for like fifteen years now. I thought that's what I've been doing. But, I started a memory page so that I wouldn't put everything on my ministry page. But I started a Facebook memory page, just memories of my dad.
Jerri Ann Savelle:So when a thought or story comes, that's my little cathartic, like I can put a memory and people aren't going to judge me. Like, why are you still talking about your dad? Well, this is the page for me to talk about my dad. And if you don't like it, then go somewhere else. That's great.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Sorry. And Mr. Copeland said something to us the day we brought daddy's body home. He brought him home in his airplane. So when we were out at the airport to bring his body home, he said, We will never get over this, but we will get through this.
Charlie LeBlanc:Wow.
Jerri Ann Savelle:It was powerful. And I saw him cry. I mean, he lost his best friend. So it is, it's not something you just get over. I'm never going to get over this.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I'm never going to get over missing him, but I can. And I'm sure you, how many years has it been now for you, your son?
Jill LeBlanc:It's years in There's
Jerri Ann Savelle:gotta be guilt that's come along the way of of, like, in going through life again. Like sometimes if I've gone a whole four hours and haven't thought about my dad, then I start to feel a little guilty. Yeah. Right. And so I'm sure there's been a process of guilt of moving on with life, even though you haven't moved on.
Jerri Ann Savelle:You know what I'm trying to say?
Charlie LeBlanc:Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, we went through all of that, you know, the guilt of living life. And also, you mentioned earlier a little bit, maybe it was before about, you know, maybe I should have done this, maybe I should have done that. Why didn't I do this, that and the other?
Charlie LeBlanc:There's so many, so many people just don't understand all of the things that we go through when we have a loss like this. They just don't understand all the different dynamics and that's why, like I said earlier, just educating and sharing with the body of Christ is so vitally important. And, you know, like you said earlier, Jerri Ann reminded me, like people would come to us and say, well, you know, they looking for the old Charlie and Jill, you know, where are Charlie and Jill, you know? And yeah, we're back to singing and leading worship and we love people. We love to lead worship and we'll do it as long as we're asked to.
Charlie LeBlanc:But this is more in my heart than leading worship. Know, if someone said, Charlie, do you want to lead worship for a couple thousand people? Or do you want to come to this seminar with 50 people and share about the grief journey? Would do the 50 people in a minute, you know, because this affected me in the deepest place like it has affected you. And people just don't really understand that, that all the different nuances of change.
Charlie LeBlanc:My son, he was a musician, drummer, piano, producer, knew Pro Tools better than I did, knew all the music stuff that, you know, and he was a great singer and charismatic and, you know, had a great dream for his life and we were with him in it and it's like, it's gone, it's gone. And it's poof, it'll never be. Of course, at this stage in my life, I know that he's rooting me on. And I know that he's saying go for it, dad. And I also know that, interestingly, you know, with writing our book and everything and what you're doing in your ministry right now, I didn't even realize it.
Charlie LeBlanc:But it was like, as we did this and moved forward, and all of a sudden I felt like the Lord said, You're carrying on your son's legacy by doing this. And I thought, Oh, okay. Anyway, that could go
Jerri Ann Savelle:on That and leads what you're saying leads exactly to where I got. This is daddy's last Bible he preached from. Oh, how beautiful. So I don't ever go to the pulpit without this. It goes with me every time I preach.
Jerri Ann Savelle:But what really happened for me was when he passed, my husband had so many things happen after that. I mean, he lost his job. We were both sitting there with no income. It's called the pile up technique where every single thing just started with his death and then all this stuff started happening in our lives. And I minister about it now, but I know the date.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I remember the date. It was 06/05/2024. I sat down on my couch and I just quit in here. I just, I quit. I just sat down.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And Carl was in his recliner and we just both looked at each other and we just, we just, we quit.
Charlie LeBlanc:I was
Jerri Ann Savelle:questioning my calling. Am I even supposed to be preaching? It got so bad that I didn't even want to live anymore. I just, that's how bad it got. I was like, I'm good.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Not that I wanted to take my life, but I was good if Jesus took me like just, I'm good. I want out of here. I want to be with my dad. I don't want to live here. And it got that bad.
Jerri Ann Savelle:But finally, you know, I know the voice of the Holy Spirit. Finally, it took about two months of me sitting there. Not really, but sitting there in here. I heard the voice of the Holy Spirit, but I heard it in my dad's voice. And it was John eight thirty one thirty two.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And that dad said, that's the scripture when he gave his heart to the lord in 1969. He surrendered his heart to the lord. He said, the very first time he opened the Bible, it was John eight thirty one thirty two. If you continue in my word, he has it marked right here in his in his Bible. And I have in here too when he surrendered his life to the Lord.
Jerri Ann Savelle:He was in this little house And I found this picture and I stuck it right there because that's where that in this house is where that scripture popped out at him. Wow. And he said that he heard the Lord say to him that he was always a good starter, but never a good finisher. And he said, Jerry, if you'll learn the art of continuing, continuing in my word, then you'll be the man of God I called you to be, the husband I called you to be, the father and the minister I called you to be. Well, daddy learned the art of continuing, and he did that for fifty five years.
Jerri Ann Savelle:So as I'm sitting there, I heard in his voice, Jerry, get up. I'm gonna start crying and continue in what you're called to do. And I heard him, like he always said, Savelle's aren't quitters. Savelle's aren't quitters. He said that my whole life.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And my sister, go, are we adopted? Because we wanna quit. No, you're not adopted. But I heard him say, get up and continue what you're called to do. And I'll never forget it was August of that year, just four months.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I got up and I preached my first sermon again after. And I felt like he was looking down from heaven, just going, you got this girl, you can do it girl. And like you were saying your son cheering you on. So every time I stand behind the pulpit and I carry his Bible, I just picture him and he had this kind of stance. He had one hand on his hip and he cut, I can see him going in that something, in that something, look at my girl doing what she's supposed
Charlie LeBlanc:Beautiful. To be
Jerri Ann Savelle:So that's what, that's what carries me through is just to continue doing what I'm called to do so we can get out of here and be with them in heaven. That's tell as many people as I can about Jesus and my relationship with Him. This isn't some fake phony, I gotta do this because this is what my dad did. No, this thing with me and Jesus is more real. The Holy Spirit, I can't imagine going through this kind of loss without the Holy Spirit.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And, you know, I knew I could quote John where it says, Holy Spirit comes as our comforter, counselor, our helper, our intercessor, our advocate, our strengthener, our standby. I could quote that, but it's when it becomes, that's all I got. That's all I have is to rely on the comfort of the Holy Spirit right now, to rely on the strength of the Holy Spirit to make me get up just one more day. Just get back up. Just get back up.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And now here we are Okay. Two years down the road, and it's like, thank you, Jesus, that you're there. You never leave me. You never forsake me. And you've been there with me through all of this.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And I'm not gonna you said in your book too, I believe, about don't ask why. Don't keep you know, don't like, I would go, why my daddy? He was just serving you, He was out preaching you. Why couldn't he just stroke out? They rushed him to the hospital and you fix him and he's all better.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Was preaching you. Did he have to die? But I can't go there. I cannot go there.
Jill LeBlanc:Mhmm. Yeah.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I just I know that I'm gonna keep doing what god's called me to do, and and I miss him. And it's okay to cry. It's okay to wipe the tears, don't stay that place. I've learned not to, I can think about them, but when it starts to pull me down, when I start feeling that grief trying to set, you know that place, that dark
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah, the dark place, yeah.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yes. I have to change what I'm doing. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Get up and go do something else.
Charlie LeBlanc:Amen. Yeah, there is a degree and we talk about it more. There is a degree of spiritual warfare in this thing that you have to be careful with. Know, you don't want to fall prey to the total enemy. I mean, we believe grief is a holy thing, you know, because it's Jesus, you know, He's close to the brokenhearted.
Charlie LeBlanc:He heals brokenhearts. The scripture in Isaiah says He suffered when we suffer. You know, He suffered when His children suffer. And so, you know, we believe that the relationship when you're in pain, because Jesus understands our pain, there's something that he's doing like in you right now, Jerri Ann, that he's doing something very special your relationship with him because he understands your pain. And yet, you know, people like try to interrupt that, you know, don't grieve, cry, don't, you know, no, no, no, don't do that, you know.
Charlie LeBlanc:But they're interrupting a holy work of God in our hearts. And so, I don't think that, you know, we have that chapter in our book about it's okay to cry. I studied all the great men and women of God that wept bitterly over the loss of their parents, over the loss of their children, and Stephen and all the ones it goes on and on and on. I just thought it's ridiculous that people are always trying to fix us. Know, as you know, have a chapter in here that says, You do the loving and I'll do the fixing.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yes, Because we on our way to preach about a year and a half after we lost Bo, a good friend of ours, lost his son, a pastor. And so we wept with him, we cried, we said, can we help you? You want us to come down and be with you for Sunday morning? He goes, please do, please do. So on the way there I said, God, what am I doing?
Charlie LeBlanc:I'm not ready to go preach or share anything. I'm just getting in the pulpit and cry myself because I was still hurting so bad after losing Beau. But the Spirit of God said, Just tell the people to do the loving and let me do the fixing. And that has been just one of the most powerful words for us, even as you said, to learn how to be better to other grieving people is just like you've said, loving them. Don't try to fix them.
Charlie LeBlanc:Don't try to come with your gun full of Scriptures and just shoot them up. Don't try to make them better. Just weep with those who weep. Love those. Let God in His time heal broken hearts.
Charlie LeBlanc:And you know, another scripture I want to say before I forget, of your background and our background, being grown up in such the word of faith community, You know, this was a real trial of faith for us because we had nine months to battle and to win and we expected we win. You read that in our book. So that was a real challenge to our whole faith foundation of, Okay, what's going on here? Kind of a thing. To what you said earlier, you know, the Lord just, at some point, because of the confusion, because of the battle in my brain over all this, I had to just live in what I knew about God and leave questions for later.
Charlie LeBlanc:The secret things belong to the Lord, those kinds of thoughts. Also, we see through a glass darkly. And so I had to live in what I knew. Okay, I knew that He was comforted souls who mourn. I knew He heals broken hearts.
Charlie LeBlanc:So I just thought, okay, that part I can handle. I need you Jesus. Where else can I go? You have the words of eternal life. I need you in those two areas.
Charlie LeBlanc:So that's where I'm resting. As far as you healing a blind man, raising someone from the dead, or raising a child, you know, whatever. I can't grasp that right now. I couldn't even read the red letters for a long time, you know, in my Bible. So I think we have to just grab what we can of God's love and His comfort as best we know how to get through it.
Charlie LeBlanc:And one other thing I want to say, forgive me, and I'm going to stop because I want to hear more
Jerri Ann Savelle:from you.
Charlie LeBlanc:You know, the scripture that's thrown at us so often is, well, bless God, we're believers and we don't grieve like those who have no hope. You know, and I studied that scripture inside and out. And you know, yes, we don't grieve with those who have no hope, but we still grieve. And grieve is very clearly shown throughout the entire Bible. In fact, Jesus in Revelations, it says, at the end, he'll wipe away every tear from their eyes and there'll be no sorrow, there'll be no more death.
Charlie LeBlanc:And Scripture says, you know, death, where is your sting? You know, of course there's no sting of death for those who die. You know, they go right into the front of Jesus. But there's a sting on this side and people better understand that because it is a freaking sting that hurt beyond Like you said earlier, your heart is broken, A part of you is gone. You said it a little bit differently than that.
Charlie LeBlanc:But like I always say, a part of me is gone. It's been ripped out of me. You know, I don't have my son anymore. And so I will always have that hole in my heart. I just feel like you don't know until you know, you know, and people can't know until they really, they can be educated.
Charlie LeBlanc:And hopefully we've had so many people say thank you, you know, because this is helping me. I haven't had a loss like you, but this is helping me know how to minister. I've had pastors say, Charlie, your book is helping me to be a better pastor love on people in my congregation because I didn't know I was awkward. Like you said, the people were awkward coming. Didn't know what to say to you.
Charlie LeBlanc:They aborted. They aborted your sister at that conference. Oh, it's so heartbreaking. But we understand that because you're afraid. You're afraid you don't know what to say.
Charlie LeBlanc:You're afraid to say their name. You don't want to bring up
Jill LeBlanc:Pain. But education
Charlie LeBlanc:is needed.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I think growing up in word of faith, the word grief was taboo and it was kind of labeled unbelief. And I'm just exposing that. I'm like, it's I mean, grief is a part of when you lose someone, but it's like going through that process. And I'm not in despair. I'm not in despair.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I'm not hopeless. It is a part of when you lose someone, there is a grief process, and it's okay to use that word. And that doesn't mean that I'm in unbelief because I'm still walking through my grief journey right now. I saw this scripture this morning. I actually just opened my Bible and it was there, but it's the passion translation.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Colossians two, it says, I'm contending for you that your hearts will be wrapped in the comfort of heaven and woven together into love's fabric. I love that.
Jill LeBlanc:Comfort of heaven. It's so It
Jerri Ann Savelle:just popped open. That
Jill LeBlanc:is beautiful.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Your hearts will be wrapped into in the comfort of heaven and woven together in love's fabric. This be access to all the riches of God as you experience the revelation of God's great mystery, which is Christ. But I love that wrapped in the comfort of heaven.
Jill LeBlanc:Then what's the reference on that?
Jerri Ann Savelle:It's Colossians two, two, and the passion. Okay. Read it in the NLT and it didn't read like that, but I just loved the words. Those were comfort words Beautiful. For this
Charlie LeBlanc:We do have listeners that have had losses in so many different areas. I mean, a lot of our friends have lost their husbands, and their widows, and we love on them. We've got a close friend here Jacksonville that just lost his wife, who is one of Jill's best friends. She was only 65 years old of breast And some of our best friends have lost their husbands. My best friend died, and of course, his wife is a close friend of ours to this day.
Charlie LeBlanc:And then we have those who have lost sons, daughters, we have those- Parents? Yeah, lots lots who have lost parents, of course forgive me for not saying that first, but also siblings, you know. We have, like our daughters, people were overlooking our daughter's pain and someone will say, How's your mom and dad? How's your mom and dad? How's your mom and dad?
Charlie LeBlanc:You know, just like you, I'm sure, maybe, how's your mom? How's your mom? But they didn't realize the pain that you're going through as a daughter. But I just wonder if maybe just for the last few minutes or whatever, if you have any words, you've already shared so many beautiful words, but just specifically to those who may be listening that have had a recent loss. I know you've already said a lot to them already, but, just to share a little, some final words about how to help them to get through it.
Charlie LeBlanc:And then also maybe end with praying for them that would really bless
Jerri Ann Savelle:them. Yeah. Well, think, it's important that we not try to do it alone and try to hold that in. I've had friends say, you know, when I reached out, because their fathers had passed away and they're like, you know, I haven't even processed it yet. And I haven't, I just kept going with life.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And I'm like, how did you not, like, it's my every breathing moment, you know, but I feel like it's important that you have, God puts people in your life, you know, dear friends or your spouse or whoever it is, that you have someone, a safe place, someone you can talk about, someone that you know is there for you and maybe not have all the words, but just there. And you know they're there and allow them to be there. Don't shut off. Don't isolate. Allow those people that God's put in your life to be there for you.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I think it's so important that you let them minister to you, let them love on you. And there's sometimes they don't have to say anything. They're just there. Let people do things for you. We can be like, when someone says, well, I'm here.
Jerri Ann Savelle:If you need anything, we'll take them up on it. If there's things, could you just please go get me something to eat? I just haven't ate all day and I just don't have the strength to make anything. Let people be there for you. Take them up on it.
Jerri Ann Savelle:If they're a true friend, they want to be there for you. They want to help you and they may not know how. So I think it's so important that we allow those people into that grief place, place and allow them to be part of the comfort, allow the Holy Spirit to use them to help comfort you during this time. And that's one thing I've learned through it. And again, like I said, it's okay.
Jerri Ann Savelle:It's okay to cry. It's okay. There are days I give myself permission to do nothing. And if I just need to sit and cry for a few good hours, and I might reminisce, I might look at pictures of him on my phone. I made a book of every handwritten letter he ever wrote me.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And I just go through that. I did something my mother was not happy because she doesn't like tattoos, but I got, let me see. That's his handwriting and it says, Daddy loves you very much.
Jill LeBlanc:Oh my goodness.
Jerri Ann Savelle:We're both left handed, so I got it on my left hand.
Charlie LeBlanc:Beautiful. I
Jerri Ann Savelle:said, Mom, do you love me? And she goes, Yes, but what did you do? And I said, I got daddy's handwriting on and she's like, I don't like it. I go, Mom, when we're in our glorified bodies, it won't be there anymore. So you're good.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And I, you know, it's okay. Do what?
Charlie LeBlanc:I said we actually both got tattoos after Bo passed too of Some artwork that he did. Yeah.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yeah. That's beautiful. Well, got this in the town where he passed in Visalia, California.
Jill LeBlanc:My goodness.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I thought that was, you know, perfect place. But like I was saying, I think it's okay wherever you're at right now and the grieving, it's okay to have those days. You don't have to force yourself to not grieve and go, go, go and pretend like it didn't happen. Okay have moments just ball it out, cry it out, but don't stay in that place.
Jill LeBlanc:I agree.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Psalm 84, it says passing through the Valley Of Baca, which is the valley of weeping and tears and misery. And my dad had a sermon on that. He said, we all pass through it, but the key word there is passing through. We don't stay in the valley of weeping misery and tears. So you may be in that place right now and you're passing through, and it may be a long passing through, but you can know that on the other side of this, it says, then those tears become reservoir springs of life that you can live in that place.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And that's where we're headed, that the tears become our reservoirs, our springs. So it's okay.
Jill LeBlanc:That's beautiful.
Jerri Ann Savelle:It's okay to cry. Just know I'm not going to stay in this place forever. I'm passing through that valley of weeping and tears. So I would like to pray now if that's good with you. I just believe that whoever's watching this, that you were sent here for a reason.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And us three, we know. We know your pain. We know what it feels like to lose someone that you love so much. But the Holy Spirit is there right now, and He can come in and be everything that Jesus left Him to be for you. If you don't run from it, but you run to Him and say, holy spirit, I need you right now.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I need your comfort like I've never needed before, that Jesus will come in and fill all those places. It says he collects our tears. He's got every tear that you've ever cried, and he can come into all those broken places. Now life will never be the same, but look, I'm smiling. I have a smile on my face today because he truly has been the healer of my broken heart, and he can do it for you today.
Jerri Ann Savelle:But don't run from him. Don't get mad at him. Don't question. Just leave all those answers or all those questions. Just leave all the questions at the feet of Jesus right now and say, maybe I I don't understand, but I trust you, lord, that you're working all things out for the good, for my good right now and that you come in and heal.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I I speak that over you right now that you feel the presence of the holy spirit come in right now and peace. You'll sleep better tonight than you have in a long, long time. The peace of God come over you. It says that it can transform. It come in your heart, in your mind, in an understanding that we can't even understand.
Jerri Ann Savelle:How can I sleep peacefully? But it's when the Holy Spirit can come in and give you a peace like you've never known before. So I speak that over you right now in Jesus name, the peace of God. Amen.
Jill LeBlanc:Amen. Amen. It's beautiful.
Charlie LeBlanc:Praise God. Well, thank you so much, Jerri Ann. And I want to mention your website and your books and your ministry. You have so much going on. Jerriann.org, jerriann.org, right?
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yes, yes.
Charlie LeBlanc:That is your website. Then you have Facebook, your Father's Memorial Facebook page, your YouTube channel. And you do spell it on all these socials with the j e r r I A N N. Yeah. For the most part, that's the best way for them to find you, right?
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yes. Can I tell you a quick story? Oh, go ahead, Jill.
Jill LeBlanc:All those, you can find all the things he just mentioned through your website? Yes. Like your Facebook and all that. Okay.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I'll tell you a quick funny story because Tanja was asking, what do you go by? Jerri Ann Savelle. You know, the funny story is my name is Jerri Savelle. My middle name is Ann. But when I was like, was probably seventh grade or so, I went to Christian school.
Jerri Ann Savelle:So everybody knew who Jerri Savelle and Kenneth Copeland were. So my first day of school, seventh grade, they're doing roll call and they go, Jerri Savelle. And I go, Here. And this little blonde girl's like, Here. The whole class starts cracking up laughing.
Jerri Ann Savelle:This guy in the back goes, Yeah, and I'm Kenneth Copeland. They didn't believe my name was Jerri Ann Savelle. I go home to my parents, and I'm like, from now on, my name is Jerri Ann. And then I put it all one word. It used to be Jerri and then capital A, and then I made it all one word.
Jerri Ann Savelle:So not too long ago after daddy's passed, I said, I'm going to go back. Because he always said, Your name's Jerri. Your name's Jerri. It's not Jerri Ann. So And my sister does not call me Jerri Ann, it's Jerri.
Jerri Ann Savelle:My dad never called me Jerri Ann, it's Jerri. Now I've gone back. Told my mother the other day, I've gone back to the original way that you gave it to me at birth. It's Jerri Ann, so probably. I wanted to have my own identity Savelle when I
Jill LeBlanc:was a kid, but now I'm like, I don't care. I'm Jerri Ann Savelle. It's Jerri
Charlie LeBlanc:with an I, and your dad is Jerry with a Y, right?
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yes. Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc:Doctor. That's perfect.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:Doctor. Well, again, you have written two books or more. Is it the two that I see on your have site?
Jerri Ann Savelle:Three, but I have two that that you can get now.
Charlie LeBlanc:And living unashamed and happy to be me. Yes. And can you just give a quick synopsis of those two so that those who are listening, if they have a need outside of grief, that because we do as well, we have a need outside of grief that we want to talk to you more about after we get off. Yeah, what are these two books about?
Jerri Ann Savelle:Well, to Be Me is my story of coming out of low self esteem and rejection and insecurity. And I didn't like the personality I have. I have one sister and she's sweet and nice and kind, and everyone always said, Terri was the sweet one. And Jerry was the feisty, stubborn, strong willed one, opinionated one. I'm sure you couldn't tell.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And I didn't think those were good qualities. And then when I discovered in Psalms 139, that he created me the way he wanted me to be, that he wove me together intricately in my mother's womb, that there's no accidents, no mistakes, that I made exactly the way he wants me. Then it just freed me to be who I am and not be insecure about who I am. So that book is my story of coming out of that. Then Living Unashamed is in 2007.
Jerri Ann Savelle:It's almost twenty years ago. I walked away from a good husband, my marriage, I walked away from ministry. It was such a shameful time in my life, so public. I mean, everyone that followed my dad knew And what I it was coming out of that place of shame. I lived in there for about six, seven years, the pit of shame.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And then finally, I remember my dad said to me one day, Jerri, don't you think it's time that you get up and do what you're supposed to be doing? And so that's my journey. I'm very transparent and very honest in there that what I did, what I walked through, and that Psalms three:three, that Jesus became the lifter of my head, and that I can stand up and minister and share what God has done in my life. Otherwise I'm not qualified. I have made such a mess of my life that made so many stupid decisions, grew up in a Word of Faith house.
Jerri Ann Savelle:But thank you, Lord, for your mercy, your grace and redemption. I know who I am in Christ. He's forgiven me. He doesn't look at me from my past mistakes. So that's my journey going through that.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Beautiful. Living Unashamed. That's where I'm at today.
Charlie LeBlanc:Well, they sound like two great books. And, and I think everyone should try to get those. And of course, into your Facebook page and your The condolence etiquette, is that on your YouTube channel or both on Facebook and YouTube or what?
Jerri Ann Savelle:I think YouTube would probably be the best place. I've had a lot of people saying I need to write a condolence etiquette book. Maybe I'll just plagiarize and I'll plagiarize and take take pages from. I'm just kidding. But I just saw so many things.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I was like, I promise I didn't copy what you said. I thought this before I read your book.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah, well, and as we were listening to it, we're going, That's awesome. Yes, go, go. Yes, that's awesome. It was so great to know that, you know? And we've seen that over and over again.
Charlie LeBlanc:Are spreading, in the books that we're reading that people are saying the same thing. People who have had losses like this, lost their wife, lost their dad, lost their sister, lost their brother, a son, a daughter. We've all experienced this very, very similar things. Of course, your relationship with your dad was very precious and very sweet and very tender. And so therefore, are others that have lost their father that are just kind of like, Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:I loved him. He's a good dad. I mean, I lost my dad three months after Bo passed, three months. And so I was like, he was 87 years old. I was like, Oh man, you know, I went to a funeral, all my brothers and sisters are weeping, but I lost my son three months earlier.
Charlie LeBlanc:So it's like, again, lived at 87.
Jerri Ann Savelle:There's no comparison.
Charlie LeBlanc:I love him. He's a wonderful man. We were one of six. So yeah, I was just one of the good, of course, because I was in ministry. He really loved that.
Charlie LeBlanc:He was real proud of me. But I mean, I love him. I miss him. But it's different. Your dad was younger and you guys had such a tight relationship.
Charlie LeBlanc:I think the level of grief is dependent upon the level of relationship a lot of times.
Jill LeBlanc:Yes, absolutely.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Know? Definitely.
Charlie LeBlanc:And so some spouses say, Well, I'm good. You know, we we'll just go up to people and go, Oh, we're so, you know, God bless you, we're so sorry. Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine, you know? It's all good.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I know. Okay. Well, a minister wrote a book and she had lost her husband and she wrote a book on grief. And I was like, she seems good. There was no grief in there.
Jerri Ann Savelle:It was like, I'm moving on with my ministry. And I was like, it didn't help me one bit because I didn't sense any, that's just me being honest. I was like, did you even miss him that he's gone? But I don't, you know, it's all, my grandmother passed away two months ago and she lived here. I took care of her to the point that we had to put her in assisted living.
Jerri Ann Savelle:She was 96 and she lived a long, full life. And I miss her. Oh, I have so many of her things. I have everything. I went and cleaned her house out in Arkansas.
Jerri Ann Savelle:I have everything. And I miss her and I look around my home and see things of her, but it's different. It was like, okay, grandma's where she needs to be, but it went the same kind of aching as my dad. I get it. It's different levels.
Jerri Ann Savelle:She was one of my best friends. But her age, I was like, it's time for grandma to be with her Lord and savior.
Charlie LeBlanc:Absolutely. And
Jill LeBlanc:I wanted to say just one quick thing about losing a parent. I was speaking with someone a few months ago who's, she's in her 60s or yeah, she's in her mid to late 60s and her mother just passed away and her mother was about 90. That was her best friend. And it's been so hard on her. And now her mother, again, she was 90, but she was very vivacious.
Jill LeBlanc:They were so close. And she said, all these people at church, they just say, oh, but she's in, you know, but she's happy in heaven. And, you know, my friend is like, yeah, but she's not here anymore. I miss her like crazy and you just don't understand. They say, oh, but she was so, they wouldn't say so old, but it's
Jerri Ann Savelle:a A hard long full life. Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:All that. So people just, it's like what Tanja says, you don't get it till you get it. And if they haven't been there, they don't get it. But this is part of what we're trying to do is bring awareness. That people can understand.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Was 55 when dad passed away. I'll be 58 in August. So people would say that to me, Well, you had him for fifty five years. And I only had my dad. My dad died when I was seven, so you got your dad for 55.
Jerri Ann Savelle:And that was one point I didn't make that I want to stress is that I just think early on when someone has a loved one pass away, it's not the time or place for you to talk about your loved one that passed away. And I'm trying to be real sensitive now because daddy's my story and people that have passed since then for me not to go, yes, I know what my dad passed away two years and then go on my story about my dad. I think it's so important when someone's had an immediate someone lose that you don't go into yours. I had people do that at the memorial service come up and start telling me about when their parent passed away. And it's just not the time or place, you know?
Jill LeBlanc:No, it's not.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Again, I think it's just educating people. And of course, I've had people pass away and I've said the polite little things like, I'm sorry for your loss, but it's not till you have someone as close as my dad was. Now I get it. Now I get what's the right words and what's Don't say that. That does not help.
Charlie LeBlanc:The old preacher said, show up and shut up, you know? Yes. He said, you know, your presence is important, but just don't be fumbling around with a bunch of words that aren't going to help. Let your speech be seasoned with salt. Think about what you're saying.
Charlie LeBlanc:Think about how you can help someone. Don't say any and like you said, even us, Jerri Ann, that Jerri, rather. Even us, you know, we've had some of our best friends lose a son. Surely we would have something to say to minister to them. But no, we go there and we're like, they just pour their grief out on us.
Charlie LeBlanc:And we just sit there and be present and the power of being a listener, just the holiness of just listening is very powerful. You know, I had this one friend of mine who lost his son. In fact, his son and my son were very close friends. They died nine years difference. I thought I would have something and I left there beating myself up.
Charlie LeBlanc:You should have had more to say, you should have. And he texted me and he said, Charlie, thank you so much for you and Jill coming by and spending some time with us. He said, You'll never know how much that meant to me. He goes, And especially thank you for listening. That's what
Jerri Ann Savelle:he said.
Charlie LeBlanc:You for listening. He texted me that. Was like, Oh my God, you know? So yeah, I think it's really important that we're careful about what we say and we're learning. I could have started saying, bringing it all back about me, you know, just, Oh yeah, we're not lost, blah blah blah blah.
Charlie LeBlanc:But man, we've learned even in a situation where someone has lost a son, that still our place is to listen.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yeah, that's them so good. Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc:Just say, to God bless you. Yeah. And then most of the time they'll say, Well, Charlie, you know, you've been there. I let them bring that up. You know, I don't have to say, Well, I know I've been there, you know, blah, blah, because, blah, blah, You know, we just try to be patient and we let it go and love on them.
Charlie LeBlanc:If they acknowledge it, great. It'll help them. And they do know, they know, but they're hurting. Grieving people need to talk. They need to talk about their loved ones.
Charlie LeBlanc:Need to go, we could go on for another hour or two, couldn't we?
Jerri Ann Savelle:I know.
Jill LeBlanc:We we need to do this again for sure. Yeah.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Let's do There's so many
Charlie LeBlanc:good things that you've shared and and it's just blessed us beyond words and there's some things we want to talk to you about as well sometime that's off the grief subject. But anyway, and I think about Tanja so much, our producer here that's behind the scenes right now. She's helping us get all this recorded, but she just lost her dad. And so anyway, I know that she's really been blessed and I thank Tanja for introducing us to you.
Jerri Ann Savelle:Yes I do too. Thank you thank you for what you're doing and bringing awareness to the subject that seems to be a little taboo in the circles that we've hung around, but thank you. It's been a blessing to me. I appreciate it.
Jill LeBlanc:Praise God. Doctor. You're so welcome.
Charlie LeBlanc:Well, we just love you guys. And thank you all for joining us today. And we just look forward to seeing you the next time as well. So God bless and bye bye.