Clemency

"Prophecy, fate…what is it all about Sensus? How things come to be, how we shape our world. Or the ways in which the world shapes us. Fates woven long ago to simply be played out upon the stage for all to witness with no true will of our own?

"Rather deep this morning my Lord. I haven’t had my coffee yet"

With deep topics in question, Lord Caesar has a moral dilemmas that require his age, experience and vague knowledge of all things. Diplomacy is key...even if you don't live in a truly Diplomatic age.

Credits:

Nate Gothard as Caesar                 
Hester van der Vyver as Sensus                 
Thomas Taufan as Voice and Guard                 
Cheng as Centurian and Clemency 

Linda Chong as Intercom 

Written by Mike Jones and Iley Jones
Produced by Bass Mike Studios and Iris Lantern

What is On the Roman Nose?

Turning back the pages of history, In the yesteryears of time, there once was an empire that was mightier than any before and held land greater than any since. A culture rich in architecture, education and art, but there is so little remaining of the Great Khan's dynasty that we can't make fun of it. So to Ancient Rome instead!

Here we join Lord Caesar and his loyal assistant, confidant and friend, Senator Sensus in the famed marble palace, facing diplomatic issues, comedic characters and the burden of leadership.

From the mixed bag of stories in Getting You Home On Friday, On the Roman Nose is slapstick happy, witty, and full of humour in a collection of short and sweet episodes.

(On the Roman Nose, Episode Six, Clemency)

THEME SONG: ROMAN MILITARY STYLE DRUMS WITH A FLOURISH OF HORNS.

VOICE: And now, to Rome!

CROWD CHEERING.

CAESAR: Prophecy, fate…what is it all about Sensus?

SENSUS: In what way, Lord Caesar?

CAESAR: How things come to be, how we shape our world. Or the ways in which the world shapes us.
Fates woven long ago to simply be played out upon the stage for all to witness with no true
will of our own?

SENSUS: Rather deep this morning my Lord. I haven’t had my coffee yet.

CAESAR: I can remember when Sorcerous Claudius said that I was going to be hit by a chariot.

SENSUS: I don't think that really counts Caesar.

CAESAR: And why not?

SENSUS: He was driving it.

CAESAR: True. But great foresight.

SENSUS: His glasses were thick.

CAESAR: Remember that old hag, you know the ugly one with bad breath.

SENSUS: Your mother-in-law?

CAESAR: Yes, that's her. (SPOOKILY) "Beware the Ides of March"

SENSUS: (CHUCKLING) Beware, beware! ..... Wasn't she waving around a snake?

CAESAR: (HAVING A CHUCKLE ) Yes, fell right on her asp. Silly old goat.

(BEAT)

CAESAR (CONT’D): Well I guess I did take heed by cancelling the acupuncture
appointment.

SENSUS: (CHUCKLING) Yes and locking yourself in the larder for a day or two.

CAESAR: (DRYLY) Well, we won't get too public with that, will we Sensus?
Anyway, what’s on today’s agenda? What have the fates got in store for us today?

SENSUS: A dispute.

CAESAR: (SIGHS) Oh, not another one.

SENSUS: Shall I bring them in?

CAESAR: Are they clean?

SENSUS: We had them sent out this morning.

CAESAR: Very well, bring them in.

SENSUS: (CALLING OUT) Call Noxious the Butcher and Centurion Bacchusup.

GUARD: (DISTANT) Call Noxious the Butcher and Centurion Bacchusup!

INTERCOM: (OVER PA) Nosewipe the Buttkiss and Scent Urine Backsup please report to Lord Caesar.

FOOTSTEPS OF TWO LARGE MEN APPROACHING DRAGGING
SOMETHING LARGE.

CAESAR: Get that fixed Sensus

SENSUS: Neutered?

CAESAR: As you please.

FOOTSTEPS STOP.

Good gods, what is that?

CENTURION: It is evidence, Lord Caesar.

SENSUS: It’s a pony!

CENTURION: Yes, that is correct.

CAESAR: Forgive me for asking this Centurion, but is it ill?

SENSUS: Perhaps a little horse?

CAESAR: Very nice, Sensus.

CENTURION: It is in fact a deceased pony.

CAESAR: Apart from the stench, what is your grievance?

CENTURION: Well. At approximately 9:15 am yesterday being the fifth instant…

SENSUS: Get on with it....

CENTURION: I apprehended this man, Noxious the Butcher, trying to sell said pony, without the proper
permit and authorisation.

CAESAR: What do you have to say for yourself, Noxious?

CENTURION: He cannot speak, Lord Caesar.

CAESAR: How so?

CENTURION: Last year on October the 15th, being a Saturday evening…

SENSUS: Get on with it.

CENTURION: (PLAINTIVELY) I was building to a climax.

CAESAR: Get to the point.

CENTURION: He stated treacherous remarks about Caesar him very self. In your infinite mercy you had
his oral muscle cut out and thrown to the lions.

CAESAR: Ah, so cat got your tongue then?

(PAUSE)

CAESAR (CONT’D): So, Centurion, what do you charge him with? Selling a pony without a permit?

CENTURION: No, Lord Caesar. For flogging a dead horse.

CAESAR: Feed them to the lions.

SENSUS: Noxious the Butcher and the horse?

CAESAR: And the Centurion.

SENSUS: Can we show them Clemency?

CAESAR: Oh, you are such a softy, Sensus. Very Well.

CURTAIN OPENING.

CAESAR: Well there he is, Arthur Clemency.

CLEMENCY: Hellloooooo there boys...

SENSUS: That's it off you go. I owed him one sighting.

CAESAR: Of course. Have to pay our creatives exposure every now and again.

BOTH: (LAUGHS)

THEME OUT.

END

Copyright by Mike Jones and Iley Jones