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It all started in Fairbanks, Alaska...two soul sisters destined to meet and become lifelong friends. This podcast is in celebration of the BEST FRIEND relationship - a relationship so important, yet not always recognized for its massive significance. Leisa and Tamara interview other best friends to learn how they met and hear their perspectives on friendship.
Hey, besties. My name's Leisa.
Tamara:And my name's Tamara, and we're BFFs.
Leisa:Tamara and I met when we were about 12 years old growing up in good old Fairbanks, Alaska.
Tamara:And we've been best friends forever since.
Leisa:That's right. And that's why we've decided to have some fun, friendly conversations with the bestest of best friends.
Tamara:We'll talk about how we became best friends, our experiences together, and have other best friends on the show to share how they met. Who knows?
Leisa:You never know when you'll meet your next BFF.
Tamara:Now let's get into it, how I met my BFF.
Leisa:Welcome to another episode of how I met my BFF. Hi, Tamara.
Tamara:Hello, Lisa. How are you?
Leisa:I'm good. I'm good. We have so many exciting things happening today in terms of tech challenges, but we're gonna make it through. I am very confident. And I'm really excited because we of our guests today, this is something that I think should have been invented a long time ago.
Leisa:And so if you are one of these people who is wishing you could find a friend, but you don't have one, you're gonna really wanna tune in to our our show today. But before we do that, Tamara, is there anything you wanna update us on in terms of your week?
Tamara:Oh, I've just been busy. We wrapped up the rest at the winery. And I guess the most exciting thing I've done besides harvesting is we I've been went to a Grizz game. So football? College football game, which was fun.
Tamara:So, yeah, it's kind of been my week so far.
Leisa:Very cool. Well, I I'm going to Vegas in a few days to speak to EWomen Network about public speaking secrets for business owners. So I'm getting ready to get on a plane, and I hope the TSA people are there and and working. But but I'm also really looking forward to speaking to a group of women entrepreneurs. That'll be super fun.
Leisa:So alright. So I wanted to introduce our guest, Gabor Kadas. And, welcome, Gabor.
Gabor K. Kadas:Thank you for having me. Welcome as well.
Leisa:Yes. I'm so excited to hear about your organization. Do you wanna share a little bit about how you got started? And I'll drop the I'll drop the hint. It's it's called friending.com.
Gabor K. Kadas:Yes. So thank you very much. Basically, friending, as its name suggests, deal with finding friends. And why did I do this? Basically, I guess it goes back to the way I grew up.
Gabor K. Kadas:I was born in Hungary, which is in Central Europe. I grew up in London, UK, and then that's where I went to university. After university, I moved to Canada. After being in Toronto for five years, I moved to The US, to California, thirty years ago, and I moved around in California. So, basically, as maybe many of your listeners, I spent a lot of time in a lot of places and felt very, very alone.
Gabor K. Kadas:And, that is what prompted me to do an app which would safely allow you to to meet other individuals with the same interest in your geographical area. And safety is extremely important as we verify each users on our app. The app is spot friendly, and it's on the iOS App Store only at the moment. Final version to be launched towards the end of the year, but it's already in beta in the App Store. And as we started internally considering this app, we looked at various research and found out that about 60,000,000 people in The US say they were alone.
Gabor K. Kadas:So it's not biased research that we did. It's unbiased research that's available on the Internet. So that's why we think there's a real need for a software like this.
Leisa:Wow. So the app is available on iOS right now. Yes.
Gabor K. Kadas:It's not the final version. It's a downloadable testing version. This version is free to use. The final app, when it is launched at the end of the year, will have a monthly fee of $5 or an annual fee of $60 just because we are going to verify each individual using a third party app called Persona, which cost us to do, and thereby making the app safe. And not just safe, but making sure that there are no fake profiles on the on the app because I don't have any figures.
Gabor K. Kadas:I don't think anybody is giving out any figures, but my guess is 20 to 40% of users on other apps are fake.
Leisa:That is so scary that people are using fake I mean, that's not surprising, but I hope that you guys can come up with a way to to combat that. I mean, how do you how do you do that in the app world?
Gabor K. Kadas:We basically use a third party app called Persona, and what they do is, ask for your driver license and a selfie and compare those to to make sure that who you are is the actual person that you really are. And so there are no bad actors. And then we encourage people to meet in person, which is a crucial difference because other, ads, dominantly dating apps, really just keep you online chatting because that is their interest. And, we want to move you offline as paradoxic as it may sound. We're using the app to connect you, but then we encourage you to move offline, meet somebody, do things together, and the only way you will become friends if and when your phones are next to each other.
Gabor K. Kadas:So you can't fake that they are friends. You can chat for a bit, but then you have to meet in person. Otherwise, there's no point being on the app because we emphasize meeting in person.
Leisa:That's such a great idea because I think sometimes we put so much emphasis on, like, finding a romantic partner, but our friends or especially if you move somewhere like you were sharing, you move from here to here to here. I've I've had that experience too where I'm like, well, I'm in the most beautiful place, but I'm alone. What am I gonna do? Go knock on people's door and say, like, will you be my friend? So and this is, know, in the nineties before we had all the, you know, Internets and applications and things like that, but, I think that's a really cool idea.
Gabor K. Kadas:Yes. It is an absolute need, and people sweep it under the carpet. They don't talk about it. Yet it is it is more than loneliness. The social effect is not something like $150,000,000,000 on the economy, which you may or may not care about.
Gabor K. Kadas:But more importantly, there is your psyche, your own well-being from depression. And I guess what shocked me not being a medical person as I'm more of a, I I guess, software engineer than a doctor, is that the actual harm it causes from diabetes to dementia because you don't speak to anybody. You're just you're not using your brain, so to say. You're just locked up in front of a screen, which is terrible.
Leisa:Yeah. I remember, I kind of recently, maybe within the last five years, that Harvard study came out where they studied, I don't know, all these people for years, decades they studied, and they said loneliness was one of the biggest causes of all the medical issues that you're talking about. Like, more than any drug, more than any anything else, that was, like, the worst, the worst thing to your health.
Gabor K. Kadas:And it was a surprise to me. I can understand depression, But causing you perhaps diabetes or stroke, it was something I didn't think was due or had any connection to isolation, yet yet studies prove that there is connection between these two.
Leisa:Yeah. So on the using the friending.com, or I'm saying .com because I know it's an app, but the friending app, have you found, personally that you've met any new friends?
Gabor K. Kadas:At the moment, it's in in beta, and we are encouraging people to to use that. At the moment, it is free of charge. And, basically, once we launch the real version, the final version, there will be a, sliding scale where you can set the distance that you're looking for in terms of friends. I think it is limited to for 50 miles at the moment, and you you set up your activities, and hopefully, you'll find somebody nearby with the same activity. We call this are you in cards, meaning are you into that activity?
Gabor K. Kadas:And if you don't find that activity listed, you can always add your own tag and your own wall install enhancements, etcetera. It will take some time for the app to become widely used. I'm hoping as people realize that we're offering a safe environment that no other app does, people will encourage their their friends or friends to be to sign up there. And just one more note on safety. Should you meet a person that you feel uncomfortable with at your meeting when you, let's say, meet in a coffee shop or wherever, you can actually tap on the screen three times, and that will do one of few things.
Gabor K. Kadas:A, the setup, you can tell who you want it notified should there be, quote, unquote, an emergency, so that could be your friend, family, or whatever. Secondly, it could say what anybody will do who is in the neighborhood or just in the default is set to notify the police. So, you know, if you're in an uncomfortable situation and you don't feel any other way out, just tap the screen three times, and a alert will be sent to one of these selected individuals.
Tamara:So you haven't tested it out per se, like, with a large group of people yet?
Gabor K. Kadas:Yes. Basically, this will assume that there are people using the app and any app user in the neighborhood because, we know where you are because of of your phone, could come and help you out. Plus, also, I have to say that because you've been verified, you're not the brightest person to try something because, we know your real name and address. So by by, I I guess, the fact that you are verified, you're cutting down the chances of being in a situation like this. But should you be, this is a backup option to help you out.
Leisa:Have you with the beta testing, have you gotten any neat stories from who's who's testing it out so far?
Gabor K. Kadas:No. Not yet. We have about ten, fifteen people downloading it per day, which is not a huge number, but we're not advertising it, at the moment. We will have it on Instagram and, Reddit and stuff like that. But what's interesting, it it's the only way you practically find the app today is if you type in FriendInc, and that shows how many people are actually in need of a friend because it's not being downloaded that many times per day.
Gabor K. Kadas:If you just type in anything else, the App Store will put it way, way down, so it's unlikely that you will scroll down to page 10 or whatever. But it that means that people are actually typing in Friendly because that's what they need, a friend.
Leisa:I love the that use of the word friending. Like, I don't think we use that term very often. Even I mean, I know it's a real word, but, like, it I think it's a really positive thing that you're putting out into the world. Well needed.
Gabor K. Kadas:Interestingly enough, we were actually trademarked the word frenting. We have a a US patent on the frenting in terms of using it on an electrical software device, which you would think as being a common word, it would be difficult. But I have to admit, we did this about seven years ago when we first started thinking about this application.
Leisa:Wow. And you have a a long history of tech. Right? Like, in software development? Yes.
Leisa:Tell us a little bit about your background?
Gabor K. Kadas:Yes. That is why I think I was fortunate because I could actually use the resources, meaning the software engineers, to to solve this issue. Yes. My background is in software development, specifically video game development, and not as, Friending Inc, but as Humansoft. We have a thirty year background in video game development from Tomb Raider to Pac Man ports of the original for the actual license holder.
Leisa:Wow.
Gabor K. Kadas:So that's what I took advantage of, meaning the resources I have to solve this real social issue.
Leisa:Have you always been, like, a big thinker like that? To me, that's, like, a very brave view to take on this challenge for our for basically the world.
Gabor K. Kadas:I guess if I want to be honest, maybe I was selfish because I wanted to solve a situation that I was in because I would be one of those, give or take, 60,000,000 people who would say that they are alone. And so I wanted a solution for myself. And I guess as the saying goes, the necessity is the mother of all inventions, and it was necessary for me, hence I had to invent it, so to say.
Leisa:That's so cool. Well, it's neat that you have the skills to invent something like that, and it's a pretty cool story. So would you say you you've lived where you live now, you've lived there for a few years?
Gabor K. Kadas:Yes. I moved to North Carolina a year ago, in October, and I actually just, again, here as well, feel the necessity of actually off the app because I'd the nearest person I know whom I've known before is actually a three hour drive away.
Leisa:Oh, wow. So how did you start to make friends in the last year? That would be hard, I think Yes. I'm the app yet.
Gabor K. Kadas:Yes. I'm hoping once the app launches towards the end of the year and my neighbors will sign up, it will make it easier to find perhaps a tennis partner or just simply somebody to have a chat, you know, over a coffee. So I'm not looking for anything adventurous, so to say. I'm just looking to to meet people in the neighborhood, as I think most people are.
Leisa:Do you play tennis now? Do is that something you currently do?
Gabor K. Kadas:No. Because I don't have anybody to play tennis with.
Leisa:Oh, no. Are there any tennis clubs near you?
Gabor K. Kadas:I I am sure there are, but I haven't actually joined any yet to be all of this.
Leisa:Okay, Gabor. We'll we'll have to pump you up a little bit and then let you you know, gotta get out there. You know, can't wait for the app to get started before you find a friend.
Tamara:What, Tamara? He's been a bit busy.
Leisa:I know. He's trying to save the world.
Gabor K. Kadas:But I'm trying to be socially responsible and,
Leisa:you know,
Gabor K. Kadas:give something back to society, so to say.
Leisa:That's a beautiful I think that's one of the best gifts you could ever give to be fair.
Gabor K. Kadas:You know, I I just feel that, you know, people really should be more open to giving something back. And I think this is one of the problems of isolation. You you don't know how, and you don't know who to give it back to, so to say, because you don't know anybody.
Leisa:Right. And I can relate because what I do is I help people become public speakers, and I really enjoy the process of helping them come up with their message. But one of the issues of being a speaker is it takes the involvement of another person, people, to fulfill that gift. And so just speaking to nobody isn't as fulfilling. So there is this dynamic of, like, you you know, there's involvement of other people.
Leisa:It's not like doing art by yourself. It's it is a gift that that requires the engagement of others.
Gabor K. Kadas:Yes. And that's what we're hoping that friending will do as well. It's it's one thing developing it, but if nobody uses it, we missed our objective. And the objective is really the key here.
Leisa:What other ways are you getting the word out?
Gabor K. Kadas:Later on, when it's fully done, we'll have influencers and, advertising it on Reddit. And also, an interesting note, we'll have, selling coffee in terms of on our website, on the friending shop. And the reason behind that is that people would probably meet first in a coffee shop. But the uniqueness about our coffee is that there's a QR code on each individual packaging, and that QR code could represent your message if you're sending it to other people. This could be a video or a song, a simple thank you.
Gabor K. Kadas:So, basically, it is designed to be sent to other people other than enjoying it yourself. But if you are sending it to other people, you can send it with the message. So the only coffee with which you can send a message with is the Friending Coffee available once the app launches in the Friending Store in the app itself.
Leisa:So meaning, like, it's a certain actual kind of coffee?
Gabor K. Kadas:Yes. It's real coffee coffee that you can select from a list of coffees on the on the app. And, basically, there's a QR code that's generated from the message that you're sending. So, you know, if I were to say, you know, thank you for the podcast, if I and I send that to you, when you scan the QR code on your packaging, it will say thank you from Kapoor. If you send a coffee to, you know, to Tamara, it will say, here is your coffee, Tamara, or whatever you would like to say.
Gabor K. Kadas:This could be a video message, text message, her favorite song, whatever. And, basically, all you need to do is download the app from the App Store. You don't need to register. You just need to scan the QR code, and where you are able to read the message that your friend sent you via Ko fi.
Leisa:Oh, wow. That's so how do you think of all these ideas?
Gabor K. Kadas:Guess, as I said, I was born in Hungary, and there's a saying about Hungarians which says, if they go in behind you in a revolving door, they'll come out in front. Mhmm. So take it to whatever way you like. It just means that they're using a very, I guess, initiative in trying to think outside of the box. So and that's what we're trying to do is is think of solutions.
Gabor K. Kadas:We're we're competing against major players and and more on the dating side, yet I think we are able to offer something unique that they do not offer. And in order to do that, you have to think outside of the box.
Tamara:When so being a Apple user, when will it be ready for Apples?
Gabor K. Kadas:Yes. That's that's right, basically. You know, doing things differently, I think, is the key.
Leisa:I think it's already available on iOS as the beta.
Tamara:Got it.
Leisa:Yes. And then Got it.
Gabor K. Kadas:And then see what
Leisa:it takes.
Gabor K. Kadas:There is the, Andreas version that we are going to do. And one other interesting fact is how we're going to get, I guess, people is that there's such a thing called speed friending, which is similar to speed dating, except you're looking for, friends. And what we're doing is a companion app to friending, especially designed for speed friending organizers that they could use to, advertise their, activity on. And, basically, our our, our, I guess, URL is speed..com. So in the the only place where you have speed.friending.com is going to be on our domain name, and we're trying to, get speed friending organizers to ask their, I guess, people who sign up to to also join on on the friending app.
Gabor K. Kadas:And in return, we will create the QR code necessary to enter the speed friending event.
Leisa:Wow. Like you could do a tennis tournament or something.
Gabor K. Kadas:Yes. That would be great.
Leisa:Very fun. Well, thank you so much for being on our show, and
Gabor K. Kadas:Thank you for having me.
Leisa:Yeah. What you're doing is just absolutely incredible. I'm really excited for it to launch officially officially, and that and then you get to find your a friend, finally.
Gabor K. Kadas:I have very much hopes, and I wish the same for everybody else who's listening.
Leisa:Wonderful. Alright, everybody. We'll see you soon, besties. Thank you. Thank you, Gobar.
Leisa:Bye.
Gabor K. Kadas:Bye.
Leisa:Hey, bestie. Thanks for listening. If you like this episode, be sure to hit that subscribe button to get notified of new episodes and check out cool Bestie gift ideas at howimetmybff.com.
Tamara:That's right. And also, leave us a review. Those reviews help us out a lot and are one of the best ways to support us.
Leisa:Yes. And if you have a fun story about how you met your BFF, send us an email at info@howImetmyBFF.com. We would love to hear about it.
Tamara:Definitely. And, hey, maybe we'll have you on our next episode. That would be awesome.
Leisa:Until next time.
Tamara:Love you, BFFs.