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In this short yet impactful episode of 'Fuck Fear with Christine Spratley: Living Like a Head Bitch in Charge,' Christine emphasizes the importance of starting tasks without the pressure of finishing them immediately. She shares personal anecdotes and practical hacks on how to integrate daily checklists and self-evaluation into a busy life. Christine dispels the 'all or nothing' mindset, encourages small steps towards progress, and highlights the significance of giving oneself grace. From executing tasks while waiting in line to reviewing life patterns, she offers valuable insights on truly weaving self-improvement into everyday life and celebrating each small achievement.
00:00 Introduction and Welcome
01:01 Reflecting on Previous Episode
01:35 Starting with Small Steps
02:13 Implementing Daily Hacks
03:21 The Importance of Just Starting
04:35 Adapting to Busy Schedules
15:30 Review and Reflection
21:20 Celebrating Small Wins
27:11 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Creators and Guests
What is F*ck Fear with Christine Spratley: Living Like a Head Bitch In Charge ?
This podcast is for anyone who wants to live like an HBIC—or lives with, works with, marries, dates, or is raising one. Let’s be real: being a Head Bitch in Charge is messy, bold, and unapologetically badass. This is not a guidebook—it’s a pantry.
My guests and I will share the ingredients that we use—what’s worked and what’s failed—as we say “fuck fear” and take action to live a fulfilled life. We cover real-life hacks and deep philosophical pillars to navigate the chaos of everyday life—where some days, my only accomplishment is having a bra on and my teeth brushed.
We’re tackling the daily shit women navigate, from workplace politics to relationships, raising kids, and building careers, all with humor, audacity, and zero filters.
So, tune in—tell your friends, and even your enemies. This isn’t about aging with grace—it’s about aging with mischief, audacity, and a damn good story to tell.
[00:00:00]
Christine Spratley: morning, ladies and gentlemen, tubs. And it may be evening, it may be afternoon, wherever you are. Welcome to, um, fuck Fear with Christine Spratley, living like a head bitch in charge. This one's a short one. So, um, you know we're gonna do something today. I try to make, what I say, give you examples of how [00:01:00] I do it in my life.
And the episode prior was the checklist, kind of the, the checklist that I go into my day with and how I review the night before. And I was telling Joe that it was funny 'cause I got done and I was like, you know, thinking about it. And I was like, man, that was a really long episode. Then I'm sitting here going, y'all are busy.
Y'all got shit to be doing. I mean, you are probably taking this moment as you're doing, getting ready to do something else. And so I was sitting there going, well, you know, I, I just felt like I left you hanging, and I don't wanna ever do that. So what I'm gonna do today is talk about some, some hacks that I do.
How I implement this in my crazy world. And some of you have children, some of you are, you know, like literally when are you gonna do this in the morning? I mean, some of, there were times when I didn't have five seconds to myself in the morning. I mean, it was just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Or you know, maybe [00:02:00] the only time I had was shower time.
And for those of you that are probably new moms. Or with toddlers shower time is not necessarily your own time anymore, um, in the morning. And, you know, so when, when do you do this and how do you do it? Get rid of the all or nothing attitude.
Um, I gotta do it all. I gotta do it all. I gotta, I gotta wait for it when it's time and I gotta do it all. And I can't start it until I can do it all. So again, this is just about, let's get started. You've heard me say this before, be a starter. And so just start. So I'm gonna give you hacks around how I just start.
And one of this is that the idea that I have to do all of it all, you know, like all in one swoop. Um, and I don't know. If you're like me, but I literally can. You know, it can take me 30 minutes to do something that would normally take me 10 because I'm doing 10 other things in that 30 minutes . So [00:03:00] what I try to do is I just do, I start the checklist.
Okay, maybe you do one item on the checklist in your review. Maybe you do all 10. Maybe you get to three, and then all of a sudden your kid's screaming or your husband's screaming, um, and you need to go put a fire out. Again, it's just start. So whenever you can just start, and I always used to say, well, I'm gonna do it when I can do it all.
I, I was a big proponent, especially when it came to self-evaluation and meditation and all of this stuff. And I would try to block out big chunks of time. And the truth for me is I don't have a lot of big chunks of time. I have them more, but I don't, I didn't for a long time. Um, and I mean, I remember, especially right now, it's February when I'm recording this and I worked in big four and you're in busy season, like, and you're [00:04:00] working at least 60 hours a week at least.
So when do you have time? I remember I would get up at, around, you know, six or a little bit before, be in my desk. At seven, and this is before when we could still work at home. I would be in my desk at seven and I'd get done around eight, you know, and then some days I'd slack off and get done around five
Um, now that changed as I got older because I was like, I ain't doing this shit anymore. But what I'm trying to say is, I recognize you're busy. I recognize you have priorities, so. Just start this. Again, you, a habit doesn't become a habit if you never start it, if you never start taking the action.
So I have to just take the action and make it, I wanna offer you the small steps count, small steps, count forward. So I had to give myself a little bit of grace and [00:05:00] kind of. Dispel this illusion that if I didn't finish something right away, that was a bad thing. No, it just means I didn't finish it. It means I have stuff that I can do later.
Um, it doesn't make me inapt or bad or anything. It just means I didn't finish it. And so, again, to start, so what I'd like you to think about is when could you start? Do you wanna put me on pause for five seconds, 10 minutes and start. I don't think people tell people to put their podcast on pause, but I don't care.
Do it. If it's gonna get you to do it, take it. It's valuable. You talking to yourself about your daily review is more important than me telling you how I did it. Just do it. Just start. So that's my first hack. Just start without the guarantee of finishing. And I'm gonna tell you one story, and I think I've told this.
Previously, but [00:06:00] I think it, it, it says a lot when I was gonna run the Motorola Marathon. And again, if you haven't heard it, you're hearing it for the first time. If you have, then you'll understand the relationship to just starting. I, it was in Austin, Texas. I think it was in 2012, if I remember right. We talked about this with, um, on the, when was the first time you did some, when was the last time you did something for the first time episode?
And we're going in the night before we're gonna have a carb dinner and the speaker who'd got was getting up to speak and he was speaking and he'd run the marathon multiple times. And he said he was so impressed with us 'cause he asked how many people were new and we all raised our hand 'cause we're all so new and loving it.
And um, and he said, I'm really impressed with you guys because you don't know when you're gonna finish. And I remember sitting there going, what? ? What do you mean wait? And it was like he was gonna run some like two hour and some [00:07:00] stupid, crazy ass time. And I knew I wasn't gonna do it in that time, but I didn't know.
But I did it. I started, okay. And so I try to do that start, start today. Start right now. Put me on pause and start. Again, that's a hack. So I, whenever I'm like, oh, I can't do it, I don't have time, I'm just like, well, maybe I'll do one. I'll move, maybe I'll do what I can control today. My thoughts, my actions, you know, and my judgements.
What you know, and my thoughts, my actions, and my reactions. You know, so what, what can I control today? Or maybe I wanna jump to what can I not control today? Or maybe I wanna jump to three and go what? You know, or I can't remember if it's three or four, but what is what? Adversity am I gonna face today? Maybe that's the one I start with. I don't care. Just start the reason. What's so great about starting and if you don't finish, this is your second hack that I do whenever and wherever. Okay. [00:08:00] There are times I get up and I do my, and I'm into my day before, literally I am into my day.
The, the pipes, you know, burst. Or, you know, one day I woke up to my, my dog Abby, just that sound of them getting ready to barf and I was like, oh shit, you know, and I am up and I am running, and she, you know, and I'm into my day. So I haven't had a chance to review anything. I haven't had a chance to get my piece.
I am behind the eight ball. And so what do I not do it, you know, supposed to start this at the beginning of the day. Right now I just start whenever, whenever and wherever. Just do it. So like if it's, I didn't have a chance, but I'm waiting in line at Starbucks, you know, I pull up my phone, there's my checklist.
I do it, is it when I'm at the, at the light that I missed for the 800th time because the car in front of me hasn't pulled through [00:09:00] stupid, you know, do it. Is it when I'm, you know, getting in line at, to drop the kids off at school? Maybe that's when you do it. Maybe it's why you're, I, I've actually done this while my computer is booting up before I jump.
You know, just whenever, because if you're willing to start it. Then you can do it whenever and wherever. And also that means I can continue it. So say I do two or three in the morning and then lunch, I'm walking out of a meeting and I come back and I sit down and I have a few minutes. Maybe I do it. Then, you know, maybe I do a couple more of the checklist.
And people are actually, have this person say this, this to me One time he said, you just, you were always thinking about what you can do and what you can do better. Don't you ever just live and. I thought about that for a long time. Obviously I did. Um, but I also thought about, you know, that's what philosophers and people used to do is [00:10:00] they used to th and think about shit.
And so why not do that? Why not put it when I come out of a meeting where I'm all upset or I think I'm awesome or whatever, why not do it in the middle and I can continue? Because it right sets me, it right, sizes me. A lot of times it jars me and goes, okay. That is over. Now what are you gonna do and how, what's your attitude and your frame of mind?
And I, I, I like that a lot because it's a way for me to kind of checks and balance my day. And I kind of like this thought. I, I grew up Catholic. I. And then I was recovering Catholic, and now I'm just am. Um, but if you've ever, you, you, you know the, you know, people that go to church on Christmas, on Easter, you know, Christmas Eve, mass and Easter, and you know, but anybody who practices religion says no, you have to bring it into your old every day, right?
So, so [00:11:00] shouldn't this be anytime I want to. Shouldn't this checklist kind of be, yes, I know it guides you, but if I miss the morning, that doesn't prohibit me from just doing it and checking in anytime. That means it's interwoven in my day. And if it's one thing I've learned, I. If I don't make it something that inter intertwines with my daily life, wherever that be on a busy day, during busy season or on vacation and everything in between, I don't do it.
I'm just not that type of person that does that. So again, whenever and wherever, and then pick up, pick up and put down. Just like you pick up your coffee mug or your tea mug or whatever you're, you're drinking, um, Joe's not drinking today. He's already had his cup of coffee and the grounds that came with it.
Yeah. But, you know, just pick it up and, and, and put it back down so you don't, you don't miss the ideal [00:12:00] window is, is in my head. But again, there's been gifts that I've been given that I didn't know were gonna be wrapped. Given to me at three o'clock in the afternoon. I thought that that gift was supposed to be in the morning.
The gifts that I get from this aren't necessarily set on a timeframe, but I don't get any of the gifts.
Christine Spratley: If I'm not starting whenever and wherever. So again, make it work with your life. It's your life. Celebrate that. Don't fight it. Just work it in. So how do I do that? I queue it up. After I got done with the com with the, the episode on this, I was talking to Joe and I was saying, you know, I've got this.
I literally copy, I do notes on my phone. Is where I do most of my checklist, and I copy the checklist. I put it by day. Date is today is the 24th, so I would put 2 24, [00:13:00] and I've done this today. So I did all of that earlier this month. I wrote, I made the 28 days of February and every day it has a checklist in them.
Now, to be honest, I do 'em every day. There's some days where I made it to the top three. There's some days I don't think, I don't think that I've done it every day. The whole thing, if I'm really honest with you, there's sometimes where I've done, like on a Tuesday, I've done the first five, and then on Wednesday I've done the last five.
'cause I knew on Tuesday I didn't do, you know, do the last five. So again, but what's, and then there's days where I've done nothing and I don't have a good excuse, I just didn't do it. But I queue it up. So how do I queue it up? I queue it up on my phone so it's there. It's easy, and I literally pull it open, click it, plus play or record, and I talk into it because if anybody knows when I [00:14:00] text, I, I can't text.
I have really fat fingers and bad spelling to begin with, so it's like a mess. And so I just talk into it and it doesn't tell me that my punctuation's screwed up or anything. It just takes it. , and I like that. The other thing that I do is I put little notes and I used to put the whole checklist, like on my mirror and stuff, but what I've started to do is I've just, I'm a post-it queen, so I'll have it, I'll have, you know, one of, one of the checklist items, you know, what, what can you control?
You know, and it'll be on my . Computer or it'll be, you know, what, what are you, what can you not control? You know, how are you going to react? I, I write different things. I don't just put the checklist, but I'll write different prompts in my head that keeps me thinking. So I'm doing that and I put those around my house.
Um, sometimes I put them in my car. Um, you know, [00:15:00] I just try to cue those things up and put them in my life. Like I've told you before, there's little speed bumps. Oh yeah, I guess I'm passing by this neighborhood and it has this on it. I'm gonna read this and it's gonna be a thought in my day. Sometimes I grab my phone and I it's recorded.
Other times it's not for me. The more I'm thinking about it though, means the more I'm paying attention to how I'm living, which is the, the the point.
Joe Woolworth: How often do you go back and review what you wrote or said, or is that not really the point? The point's just doing it every day.
Christine Spratley: I, I believe this, and, and this is the scary part about doing this podcast, is I believe that I never truly learned the lesson until like way after the fact.
And so I may offer you these hacks now, but then I really learned the lesson five years from now and I go, oh, but I, I do review them and typically it's really interesting because when I review them. [00:16:00] I start to notice patterns or I start to notice, Ooh, this was really, why was this such a big theme in my life?
Like, why was financial, you know, like I can't control. This about finances or I can con you know, like everything is around, kind of centered around finance or everything is around my relationships or everything's around, um, what I'm going through with my health. You know, things like that. Like it'll tell me how I'm interacting with my world and then I start to look outward and go, what was the world like then?
What was I going through? How did I react? And what's also interesting is I'll be able to see a shift. A couple things. I'll be able to see a shift when I like have a meeting with somebody that's really positive in my life and, and or, or a counseling session or something like that, that I clear a bunch of shit and out of the way and, and then I'm in there and I'm like, oh wow.
The next three days were really there. Were really kind of gratitude. You could tell in, in what [00:17:00] I was saying and the way my verbiage is and things like that. So it's been really interesting to see patterns. Themes. And um, sometimes I don't like those themes, you know? 'cause I'm like, okay, you know, why is this still going on, girl?
What are you not doing? Um, but it is interesting and I also like it because it allows me to really reflect and look at my life, how I experience it, and kind of own that and say. Hmm. This is how I experienced Thanksgiving ,
Joe Woolworth: right?
Christine Spratley: Not, you know, like, like what happened this year, you know, really inside with me and, and how did that show up externally and who, who are the triggers in my life?
You know, the triggers of joy and the triggers of chaos. And, and it just, so yeah, I do look back at it. And I also look [00:18:00] back sometimes when I'm . When I'm not, when I have multiple days, like I'll look back at the end of February and look back at February and go, okay, what, what kind of was, what was that? Or I may do it later or whenever, but I do try to look at it because I'll, I'll see where I've, I've kind of said, I'm gonna check out.
I'm not gonna do it. And I don't realize that I'm checking out, but like, I'll get ready to face something really big and I won't, I, I'm ready, but I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna deal with it. . And so I'll just, I'll be talking about it in my review and, and it'll be documented and then all of a sudden I won't do it for like four days.
And it's kinda my like, okay, I put it on pause, , you didn't wanna deal with it for a while. And so it is good, it is good to have those things. But what's funny also is, um, it's really nice to see when I am honest with myself, because that's me out there. [00:19:00] No one else is. I'm not, I don't have an audience. It's not for anybody else.
So that's just me out there, and that's the way I talk, the way I think, and how's that working for me? And so, yeah, I look at it, I
Joe Woolworth: like it. I like the voice memo thing. You get more context, you get your tone of voice. You know, do I sound tired, frustrated, ? Mm-hmm . As opposed to journaling can be pretty romanticized, you know?
Oh yeah. People can write pretty aspirationally in their journals.
Christine Spratley: One thing that I've started to do is if I am writing or typing, finger typing, whatever, texting, whatever on it, and I'm, and I'm doing it like that, I'm not doing dictation. I don't allow myself, I, this is a rule. I have to cross anything out or to erase it.
What I do is I put it in parentheses because I've learned, I say things for a reason. I like to edit what I say. I like to, to sound a hell of a lot. Like you said, romanticist. I like to sound a hell of a lot more.
Joe Woolworth: Therapy approved. Yeah.
Christine Spratley: Than I am sometimes I
Joe Woolworth: think sometimes [00:20:00] when people write in their journal, they think like, someday people are gonna be reading this.
Yeah. And I've long gone and I gotta perform a little bit,
Christine Spratley: you know? Yeah. I'm not Marcus Aurelius, I'm not gonna read his, his, his meditations, you know, like no one's gonna read my shit. And if they do, great, if not like it. And, and that's the beauty about doing this is it's just for me. If you don't wanna look at your shit and you don't wanna look at your life, that's fine too.
But if you do cue it up, put those things around you to remind you. [00:21:00] I remember, you know, like little kids, you'd put your, you'd put their shoes by the door and the coat and the backpack, you know, like, you'd line it up, line the shit up, make it easier for me to do that. Um, make it easy and accessible and grace filled.
The, the final thing that I'm gonna tell you is something that I do, um, that I really, I, I kind of do this in a weird space. Um, but when I, when I'm going to do something, a practice, a habit, or get a habit or something like that, I really praise myself for doing it. Um, you've heard me talk about Fat Boy sandwiches.
Well, I gotta, if, if any of you have something that's really good and isn't sugary, 'cause I'm, I just got my [00:22:00] stuff back, some of my laps and there I've got some health stuff going on and I'm pre-diabetic, which is really weird 'cause I don't eat shit except FS boy sandwiches. Um, and I, I'm still, they didn't cause it don't, don't, don't go off on fat boy.
No. Eat 'em good. They're good. But, um, . So I have to find a new way to celebrate, but I celebrate that. And this is the thing along with if I can't finish it, I shouldn't start it. If I don't have enough time or it's not good if I don't do it, you know, that's this bullshit mentality for me anyway. It's my vote bullshit mentality.
An excuse to A, not to start it or B, not take credit where credit's due messy moving forward is still moving forward. We've talked about that before where you know this whole idea of fuck fear, like, like you're moving forward. Anytime I can look at myself and go, what happened? And I am not asleep dreaming, I'm awake, I'm actually awake.[00:23:00]
I'm looking at the fact that I was asleep and how I'm going to try to intentionally participate. I need to celebrate that because our society does not as, as women and I think as men do. I think even I, I think men have this issue as well. We, we are not taught to celebrate the little stuff again, participation trophies, you know?
Um, and so I celebrate, I celebrate a little . A little piece of the pie that I've done for myself and I just, I just celebrate it by, and I don't eat ice cream sandwiches and stuff like that. When I celebrate my, my daily challenge or thing, I just kind of go, Hey girl, you did good. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for luck doing this.
And part of the reason why I do this is because I started doing it with my friends, celebrating the little stuff. That, that we all take for granted. I literally was on a way over here and one of my friends was like, you know, I'm not, [00:24:00] not real sure why I feel so tired last few days, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, let me check.
And we checked off about like five things, major things going on in her world that she's been able to handle just easily. But there were all these other five things that she could see that she hadn't done. And it was like, but these are five things that would kill most people. Knock this shit off, girl.
We need to like give you some propers. If I don't celebrate and if I don't look at what I do as like, Hey, this is good and this is worthy and you are worthy, you're a pretty big good for doing this, then why am I doing it? If I don't ever get to celebrate it, then, you know, unless it's all done, nice and neat.
you know, messy needs to be celebrated. I I, I tell this a lot to myself and I tell it to people I coach. Life is this big finger paint, messy picture. It's the most beautiful finger paint, messy masterpiece we'll ever make. And I need to [00:25:00] celebrate. I can, I don't need to, but I get a chance to celebrate all of it.
not just when it's done, like you said, when I'm done and I'm done and somebody's reading it and they give me propers, no, celebrate it now.
Joe Woolworth: Yeah. The done thing is the problem with long-term goals because sometimes we don't put an end date on a long-term goal, so we're never gonna celebrate it, so we're never gonna accomplish it, which is why we give up on it
Christine Spratley: or why we don't start it.
Joe Woolworth: Yeah.
Christine Spratley: You know, and it's like, it's like I said before, . You know, you can always stop and rest. You can always turn back. But you, if you start, if you start and you say, I'm just gonna do one, I'm just gonna do two. But then celebrate that you're doing it and tell people that you're doing it. Tell people the insights you have and make this part of your life.
One thing that I've, I was having a conversation with someone, a wise woman. I, I think she's very wise, not perfect, but very wise. [00:26:00] And we were talking last night and she said, you sounds like you're, you know, you got a lot going on, but you've put yourself, men and women around you that hold you accountable, but.
That are part of your life and that are interacted, intertwined with what you're trying to do. And she didn't mean they're helping me get where I wanna go, like work-wise or this, that no, they're helping me be me and, and be accountable to what I wanna do with myself and my growth and just my fulfillment.
And, and it made me think, and I said I, I was like really grateful that I do. I get to talk about any insight I get. About myself with my friends. That's pretty powerful. Like, we don't need to sit around like we, and it's funny 'cause it'll literally go in and out of, Hey, did you see like I have a friend who watched Sebastian.
Oh my God, he's so, God, you know, he's so good looking. Blah, blah, blah. And then we'll talk about that and then we'll talk about, oh yeah, this, this inside I have when I do this, you know, [00:27:00] um, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I thought of this today. And that's what I want it to be, is I want it to be woven into my life.
Then that's pretty amazing. I'm gonna leave you with one last thing that I heard and just bear with me. I was listening the other day and I think it was on Instagram. Again, my social media, I'm not quite sure of. But this woman there, this guy was entering, viewing this lady, I think she was a doctor, she said, I don't bring dates. We don't, I don't go on dates anymore. She goes, I bring them to things that are already happening in my life. Like, I was like, huh, you mean they meet your friends?
And she's like, yeah, because you get so much more information and data. And I had to think about that for a second. Why do I only do this in the morning? Why do I only do that at night? Why do I only do it when I have enough time? Why am I not doing it in real time when I can do it when it fits [00:28:00] into my life?
Because it's gonna give me so much more data about how I'm actually living when I'm writing. What's funny is, I have noticed you were talking before Joe, about do I ever look back? Sometimes the shortest I've got, I'm outta light and I've got, you know, 10 minutes between this spot and this spot to go and I'm doing it and I'm barreling through.
My answers are like five words at the most, boom, boom, boom, boom, whatever I'm doing. And but sometimes they're the most insightful. Because I don't have time to fantasize or romanticize or bullshit, think of the right words. I just say, and it's some of the most honest dialogue with myself that I have. So, but it's in my life and that's I'm, I'm literally, it's in my life at that time.
So what I would encourage you to do is don't take [00:29:00] it out on a date. Okay, just start whenever, wherever, cue it up and then celebrate and give yourself that gift. And don't be asleep dreaming, you're awake. You know? And anytime you find that you are, we get to be able to wake ourselves up and go. Is this working for me?
Am I happy? What would make me happy? How is this working? What am I doing today? What am I doing and why? And if I'm unhappy, then why the hell am I doing it? So ladies, these are some hacks and I wish you the best, but more importantly, I wish that you wish you the best and that you take the actions that give you the best and start.
So until then, ladies, gentlemen, [00:30:00] tubs.