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Why chase what you already have? This week, we’re cutting through the noise of external validation and showing you how to rest in the truth of your perfection. Let’s get free. 🎙️✨
★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
Creators & Guests
What is Perfect Mode?
"Perfect Mode" invites you on a transformative odyssey to discover the extraordinary within the ordinary. Hosted by the dynamic duo of JClay, a rapper with a spiritual twist, and Troy Washington, a realtor with a mindset of abundance, this podcast is a sanctuary for those seeking to elevate their existence. Together, they explore the realms of personal growth, mental clarity, and spiritual enlightenment, offering unfiltered insights into living a life unchained by societal expectations. Tune in for your weekly dose of inspiration and embark on a journey to align with your highest self.
If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection? Welcome to perfect welcome to perfect where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations. I'm Jay Clay, rapper, spiritual teacher, with my co host Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. Let's be real. So let's be perfect.
JClay:Let's be perfect. Perfect.
Troy Washington:Good afternoon. Welcome to perfect mode. And first off, let me start by telling you that we love y'all. We're grateful for the opportunity to be anywhere sharing our thoughts, hopefully, in helping you realize that you are perfect. And the reason why I can say that unapologetically is because I know that you are one of 1 numero uno.
Troy Washington:You cannot be replicated, duplicated. And the only reason, J. Clay, the only reason they would think that they're not perfect, if they're looking at this person on the side of them saying, guess what? I'm not you. But guess what?
Troy Washington:You are you, and that's all you need. And, of course, it's yours truly, Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. And I have my boy, Jay Clay, spiritual rapper and teacher, and we about to jump on here and talk about stop hustling for approval. You're already perfect. You're already perfect.
Troy Washington:What
JClay:up, Jay? What up? Happy day. Happy Sunday. Happy, happy Sunday.
JClay:Man, if you're good to to to be doing this and then be talking about this. I know it it is actually this this topic is the basis of our show, but we haven't really talked about it in a long time. And I felt it was the perfect time to refresh us into this. But but real quick, I wanna say we have a calendar now so that if you wanna see the upcoming topics so that you never miss an episode again, it's in the description. You can actually subscribe to that calendar.
Troy Washington:And yeah. Subscribe to the calendar, y'all, so y'all know when we when we coming on and we do something extra, you know, we're gonna put everything on the calendar. But, yeah, check out the calendar, holler at us, look at us, jump on, be a part of the show, all of that because we need your perfection too.
JClay:Oh, yeah. So I I got I got a question for you just to start off. Why do we seek approval? Like, why do people even seek approval? What what are your thoughts on it?
Troy Washington:I honestly think that, it starts early. You know what I mean? From the time that you're a baby. And you're everything you do, you're literally you have somebody watching you a 100% of the time. You hear what I'm saying?
Troy Washington:And so when you start your life out where everybody's watching you a 100% of the time and being reactionary based off of things you do, I think that's part of the reason why we have that first initial sense of, look, mama. Look what I did. Is that good? And, you know, you know, what's funny about it is there have been plenty of times, even now with me having kids, Brody will say something to me. Right?
Troy Washington:Or he'll say something out loud, and then he'll say, dad. Is that funny or is that not funny? And it's because he doesn't know based off of what he's been taught up until this point whether something is good or not. But go ahead, Dave.
JClay:Yeah. Yeah. This is an interesting thing because I'm trying to think back to when I was little. Like, at what point did I start seeking approval? You know what I mean?
JClay:Like, is it is it because, you know, we get grades and stuff? I I still remember my first test in 1st grade. It nothing. It meant nothing at all to me. I just was like, what is this?
JClay:And I got a score. And I was mad because of the question I got wrong because I felt it was a trick question. She asked us to spell 4 and I put f o r, but the vocabulary word was f o u r. And I was like, you didn't say that. You just said 4.
JClay:But anyway, but but like but, you know, like, Tess, like being being approval, like, through the written grade. I didn't care anything about it. But then at some point, it started to matter. And I don't know if that also influenced me with other people too. Like, am I accepted here?
JClay:You know what I mean?
Troy Washington:I I so so number 1, from your standpoint to, you know, using Brody and them as an example, I like to think that the the caring starts to happen or the looking for approval starts to happen when the automatic approval stops being given. And you get what I'm saying? So Yeah. Just to kinda use Brody as the example, when he said whatever this was that day, we didn't respond. You get what I'm saying?
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:And so you gotta imagine the whole beginning of our life, we're not seeking approval, but approval is always there. It's always a part of our makeup. Even from the time when you first learn how to count or you talk, like, the first time Brody says something, he said Google. And we were like, oh, Google. He said Google.
Troy Washington:And there's such such an amount of, joy and and and celebration that comes along with it. So even in that moment, after the first time he says it, it's not as impactful anymore. He still says Google again. Google. Because I wanna see them go crazy.
Troy Washington:Google. And then eventually, he stops. He says Google, and we don't even respond anymore because it's just something that we know he knows how to do. And I think that longing for that our entire life because that's the way that we've been built up from the time we were kids is kind of part of the reason.
JClay:Man, that's deep because yeah. Like, a a lot of people have experienced that where it's just, are you walking? You said this. You told a joke. You coughed to sneeze.
JClay:You know what I mean? Like, it's it's so many milestones that are celebrated by others. And then one day, it just stops. Like, just just like that. And then, like like now, just you you see people on social media doing more and more extreme things to get followers, to get approval, because the same things didn't work anymore, and now they're they're really seeking that approval.
JClay:And it it almost makes me wonder, like because, you know, not every child gets that. But is that like, I wonder how that affects, you know, children that don't get it. Like, is it either better off? Are they not better off? You know what I mean?
JClay:Like, it's it's so much to to
Troy Washington:think about in that. You know, the funniest thing about, your example using the people online going to be you know, we just gonna say extreme, but we just don't know if they're exploring. But you know what I mean? Like, them pushing the envelope further and further down the road, trying to get someone else to see something new. The the the the funniest part about it is there's always somebody that haven't seen you do it before, and it's always the seeking of approval of people that are around you.
Troy Washington:And, again, I I don't wanna make this whole, a, a bible conversation, But it's similar to Jesus leaving home to perform his miracles, but being at home, and people are just so accustomed to it. And, you know, who to say that he didn't go in order to feel that exact same thing that we're talking about? That sense of again, I don't need to be approved by nobody, but it still feels good to feel acknowledged, whenever you do something. Then I I think about our music and simply us making a song and then listening to it over and over again. And I even us feeling a certain way about it because it's not new anymore.
Troy Washington:And and now we are seeking approval for myself from something that we can't get, so we just go to something different. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Man, dropping them gems. That's true. Like like like yeah. I I'm victim to that where I have a song. I know this song go hard.
JClay:And so I play it out to myself. Like, I listen to it a 1,000 times. And then it's like, dang. It's just alright now. Let me let me go see what somebody else say.
JClay:Maybe they feel how I once felt before, and I can use that energy to to propel me further with pushing this song. And and and even on the other side of that, this has me thinking of times I may not give others approval for just certain things. Like, it doesn't hurt to just give someone approval. You know what I mean? Like, it's not it's not like I'm going out of my way to say, man, that's that's that's awesome.
JClay:That's dope. Good job. You know what I mean? But sometimes we withhold it and not even realizing it it does feel good to get that approval, but we shouldn't necessarily be dependent on it. But, man, like like that being dependent on it without knowing could kinda set you up on a path where you're you're becoming a people pleaser almost.
Troy Washington:And I think that's a part of it. Like, we've we ended up we end up becoming addicted to it. And and, again, it's not everybody. Some people are able to say, you know what? I would like the acknowledgment.
Troy Washington:I would like the approval. But you know what? I'm just gonna keep moving anyway. But there are some of us that become addicted addicted to it where we we crave it. And, again, I I wanna break it up into parts because it's not even you can be, addicted to something in a specific aspect with a specific person, but not with other aspects with that same person.
Troy Washington:So it's like whenever I make a song, I have to hear Jay Clay say, bro, you raked that mug. I I just gotta hear that mug. Right? But it might be something else that I'm doing when it comes to me being, you know, going to substitute a school. Like, I can mention it to you, but I don't really need to hear anything in order for me to feel fulfilled in a sense.
Troy Washington:Right? And so I think that a lot of times, we find ourselves being addicted to that feeling, but it's also for specific things. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. For specific things and specific People people.
Troy Washington:Yeah. Real talk. Because I
JClay:I have heard a lot of people say certain things like, you know, I never had this type of relationship that supported me in this way, but they not realizing they have that in other in other titles, I should say. Maybe not the same title as as other people. Like like, for an example, like, you know, people might bring up parents, or or siblings, like family supporting them, but their friends might support them. And they're they're kinda disregarding that because a lot of people have family that support them. And and and even interesting to that, like, I don't know for whatever reason, like, with with sports and games and stuff, I was the kid that I don't know.
JClay:Like, I you didn't have to be there to watch me. I just wanted to play and have fun. But I I know kids that was, like, man, if my if my parents were there, like, I it would have been a whole different thing. I would have loved for them to just show up. And maybe I just took it for granted too because they did show up.
JClay:So it's a it's a interesting dynamic when you think about it all.
Troy Washington:No. No. I I I like I like all of it. I I actually love the conversation because I've been a I I don't know if you had another point on this, but I just wanna kinda touch on the fact that, you know, to just based off what you were saying, like, number 1, you got to you have to sometimes take a second to acknowledge. Again, we're talking about hustling for approval, but you have to acknowledge that sometimes the acknowledgments you're looking for, it's already there, but you're just overlooking it or you minimize where it's coming from so it doesn't have what you would like to be the same impact on you.
Troy Washington:That's number 1. But the second part to this is, like, the first line of approval is you approving yourself. So, you know, that's the reason why I love this topic because it says stop hustling for approval because it doesn't take anything for you. It's not a hustle for you to approve yourself. And because you have not approved yourself, and that's fine because sometimes we have to figure out a way to get to what we're trying to get to, you start to go out and seek approval from other places.
Troy Washington:And, again, disregarding all the approval that you may have already had because you've minimized the meaning of them. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Yeah. And, yeah, you you minimize it to yourself. Like, you're giving someone else this power to say, okay. You can make or break me right now.
JClay:I'm I'm, whatever you say is going to affect me, and it shouldn't be that way because you're you're as credible as they are. Your voice matters even if it's your own voice to yourself. And funny, like, just how I'm I'm how I've done something like this similar. So I've been talking to you because I'm I'm working on a a new album, a third album. The second one hasn't even come out yet.
JClay:And because the third one is just so new and it's just like, man, I can't I can't wait till this that that and, like, I'm almost diminishing the second album even though I know how hard the second album go, and I can't wait for people to hear it. It's just funny just how, like, you just get caught up in your mind and the next thing and the new thing, and you just disregard so much about yourself. That's that's apparent that's that's that's there, and that's true.
Troy Washington:You know? And and, again, I I still I I would say that this is a behavior that comes from or stems from when we were little kids. And, again, this is only me talking out of my head because I I'm substituting now. So I'm around a lot of kids. And the funniest thing is it like, I have and, literally, I have people do this all day.
Troy Washington:I have a kid tell me, hey. Mister Washington, such and such said this about me, or they did this to me. Right? And then I would always come back to them and tell them, it don't matter. Like, you know, I'm I'm trying to coach them, and and and I've literally asked the kid this past week.
Troy Washington:I was like, does it matter what they say? And they said to me, yes. Right? And I was like, well, why does it matter what they say? If they said it, can you stop?
Troy Washington:I mean, do you have to stop doing what you're doing now? Are you in trouble with me? Is something gonna happen at home? So I'm rolling this out to them so that they can see that their world is not affected by anything that anybody says or does. Right?
Troy Washington:Yeah. But, again, I said that to say that you see that from the time we're young, we start to create these habits where we're seeking and and also telling ourself at the time that this affects me even when there's tons of proof that it doesn't. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And it's almost too, like, in what regard, we hold the other person. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, I can I can remember in school? Like, I might say this person is cool.
JClay:So whatever they say to me would probably have more weight than somebody I might say is uncool. But, again, I'm the one that's divvying out these meanings and not even realizing that. So it's like I'm I'm giving you this meaning to to make you higher than I am. And then in that, I'm actually lessening myself so that my word isn't as valid as your word. Or I'm also placing myself above others in the opposite where it's like, I'm what I say go.
JClay:I'm disregarding everything you say right now. Like, it means nothing. And that's setting in in an unfair precedent for yourself because you won't believe anything you say at this point.
Troy Washington:So what's funny about this is so number 1, I give you the example of the kids and how they will vocal you know, verbalize this is how I feel because of somebody else. And then I'm gonna tell you there there's even in this same setting, there's a teacher that I spoke to this week, and she tells me this long story about, you know, a situation in their life, what happened, and how they felt about it. And then they stop in a moment, first time meeting me, and says, well, you're a man. I wanna get your perspective. And, again, in this moment, I realized that this person has already made up their mind.
Troy Washington:They're already content with the decision that they've made. But now they're saying, let me minimize where I am, see what this person has to say if they're either gonna validate or help me change my mind. And it's funny because I can see it sitting from my seat, just walking into it where where it was going. Now kinda just to, you know, come back a little bit, there have been plenty times where myself or I've been dealing with somebody in the past where I have already made up my mind. But I've minimized the way that I felt about my own approval, and I reached out to somebody.
Troy Washington:And this is what's crazy about it. There have been times where I reached out to somebody, and they said something that I did not already agree with, and there's another internal turmoil that happens because now I want to argue with them, but that's only because the approval that was already made has not been accepted. And now I'm torn between the thought processes. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. I I love that. The moral of that story is trust yourself. If you decided on something, stick to it. You know, just just see see it through.
JClay:So okay. So it it sounds like the main thing is that's stemming from it is we're not essentially accepting our own perfection. We we are not accepting that we know more than we already know. And I I kind of want to talk about that, and I want to start by saying, first off, if if someone believes in God, there's no way you cannot believe in your own perfection. And and let me explain.
JClay:Like, God is a perfect creator. Is he not? So that means all of his creations are perfect, and there's nothing more powerful than him that can imperfect his perfections. Because if if they could or if you could, you would be more powerful than God. And if you could let's just say for, you know, you could be more powerful than God, then why wouldn't you just make yourself perfect?
JClay:You know what I mean? So it's it's it's one of those things. But, but I also wanna wanna explain this from the viewpoint of someone who might not believe in God and and to say, okay. Well, how can I be perfect? I don't believe in God.
JClay:So how how can I be perfect? And it's almost like, how can you not? How would you even know if you're not Because you only know things from the viewpoint of yourself, like you don't know what it's like to live as another person. And so you're only seeing what they show you or just what you want to see about them. And it's it's not enough information to invalidate yourself, but but go ahead.
Troy Washington:So, man, I have so much to say about this, bro. So you're gonna have to chop me if whatever you're not talking about. So but again and and I'm thinking about your your explanation of god being perfect. He cannot make a mistake. Right?
Troy Washington:And I and and I'm one person that wholeheartedly agrees with this. Even to the point where that's where the line between what's good and what's bad has always been blurred to me because I understand in my own personal opinion that everything has to happen. Like, every every, everything has to go has to happen. You know what I'm saying? And so, again, I just use the Bible as the example.
Troy Washington:And whenever I read the bible for the first time, the most the thing that stood out to me the most of everything outside of my favorite little quotes here and there is pharaoh. And, right, and, you know, pharaoh, when when, you know, he sent, Aaron and and, and and Moses there, let my people go. And pharaoh was like, nah. I ain't letting your people go. Yeah.
Troy Washington:You know what I'm saying? Then he did what he did. Then he asked him again, let my people go. And he was like, nah. I ain't letting your people go.
Troy Washington:So 3rd time or 4th time, he, like, let my people go. And Ferro was like, you know what? I don't wanna mess with this person no more. Like, I can't mess with them because they they too real. And this was the key.
Troy Washington:These 3 these this phrase, god hardened his heart to make him say no. He hardened his heart. And so what that tells me is and, again, if you if you read the reason why he hardened his heart, the point that he was trying to make, you know, I I get it out. Right? But that's the way that I think about life.
Troy Washington:And that's also part of the reason why, number 1, I don't necessarily seek to give anybody approval, though I will beat up anybody that's looking for it because I understand that sometimes people need guidance in order to see what they're already looking at. I don't wanna be a detractor from it. But the reality of that mug is, bro, everybody, whether you're a villain or a good guy based off your your own description, has to be the star of the movie because the point has to be made. And the the I I think a big part of this is realizing how we facilitate that which we believe is the bad part of our life. Right?
Troy Washington:How did why did I put this here? Why am I so, perturbed by it, which is one of the reasons why I love the fact that you say anytime there's opposition in front of me, I literally sit back and say, why is this bothering me? Because we're trying to figure out the pathway, but, again, that allows for you to give yourself the yourself the approval that you need to to to to be at peace. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and even from the story you shared and and everything that you shared too, it it's like it's a reminder that it's about the journey. You know? Like, we we this physical experience is almost like we are here to experience the inner workings of manifestation because, you know, like like really imagine everything you want. You just get it at the snap of your finger.
JClay:It's fun, but you could get bored easily. You know what I mean? Like, you wouldn't be surprised. It's so many things you wouldn't be able to experience. It's so many things you wouldn't be able to understand either because you're like, why can't they just do what I do?
JClay:Why, you know, and and you won't be able to help them or reach them from a certain place. So it's, so it's a good reminder that it is about the journey. Like, every time we decide on something for ourselves, we're saying this is a journey that I'm I want to take, for myself. And I think that's key to about this. You're already perfect is to make sure any journey you take, anything you're deciding, you're deciding for yourself, not because someone else decides for you because that that's a that's an easy way to just hate it.
JClay:Just to hate your experiences is doing something for the sake of someone else, not for yourself. And shout out to Loretta. She she said there is a balance to maintain. It's important to trust our own intuition and wisdom and also maintain an openness that allows feedback from others because we because when we stop being students, we stop growing.
Troy Washington:Yeah. I love it. And and I I I kinda wanna add to, what you're saying, and shout shout out to Loretta as well. You know? I appreciate you joining us today because, you know, without you, girl, we wouldn't be here.
Troy Washington:So we definitely appreciate you and recognize your profession. But I want to, add to this, like, the and, again, I'm I'm emphasizing being a star in your role or being a star in your movie because it's your movie. And, you know, funny enough, I have we have this kid that, plays basketball with TJ and them. And and and this is to your point that it it would be crazy at the snap of a finger how you can have anything that you want. And I like to think that at a snap of a finger, as far as we can believe, we still have that.
Troy Washington:You know what I'm saying? I I just like to think that. And, the the best example that I can give, there's a kid that, I'm not gonna say his name, but I'm, you know, I'm pretty sure you wanna find him and you can figure figure it out. He plays basketball with TJ, and I'm a give you some crazy stuff. Like, he's 69.
Troy Washington:I'll say he's 69. He's in the 6th grade. He ranked in the nation as one of the best kids in the nation right right now. And, you know, I'm at the school, so I don't wanna act like, work as hard as schools. Right?
Troy Washington:A lot of times, the kids, all they have to do is just really just turn in their work. Right? Just get it in. Teachers would pretty much work with them. But in some cases, a lot of kids just don't do it.
Troy Washington:You know? Me being in the school, I see a lot of kids that don't do it. Yeah. But funny is you using this 69 kid as the example, you can imagine with a 69 kid walking around the school, how people will respond to him or how everybody around him will act. And I'm using him only because this is a, an exaggerated idea.
Troy Washington:Right? You don't see 6, 7 every day. Right? But you can just imagine that he probably wants to play sports. Right?
Troy Washington:He probably wants to play basketball. And the reality of it is everybody in his entire world, aside from him just appearing on a NBA basketball court, everybody in his entire world is like, you did your work. You did this. It like, the whole world is just revolving around him. And the reality of it is the reason why I use such a, this example is because it's easy to see it when you your own self can recognize this is different.
Troy Washington:Now part of this is we don't recognize how different or how special we are or how perfect we are. And so because of that, I'm telling you, this kid is snapping his finger, and he don't even realize he's snapping his finger because he's the the outlier. Right? But the thing is, for what we're doing in our life, we're snapping the finger. And the reality of it is everybody around us, everything around us is working in our favor.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:But the, the reality of it is we fail to recognize it. Now using this kid as the example, he doesn't recognize it either. Now it makes more sense because he's a kid, and he hasn't developed enough in his mind to process it the way that I'm processing it now. But just seeing him and the world move the way it's moving, you can see how it's all being put in place. Now it makes me look at myself and say, okay.
Troy Washington:Well, look, Troy. What is it that you have? Who is it that you have around you? Why is it that why is it that Jay Clay has been your friend for 20 plus years? How?
Troy Washington:And the reality of it is there are certain things that I know that I needed that I snapped, and they just have always been there.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:And, again, I can minimize it or you can minimize it as much as you want to, but the reality of it is you it's it's already working in your favor. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. I love that. Thank thanks for getting me back there because that is true. And especially especially as a kid, I I do when I look at my life as a kid in my life now, there were so many snap your finger moments that it was crazy. And yeah.
JClay:But yeah. We we we do all have that, and we won't recognize it because, in some instances, we change course. And it's like everything might not change course as fast as we change course, but it is gonna get there. And and and that's why I get it's important that the more you align your life with what you want and how you want it, the more aligned everything can get with it. Everyone can get it.
JClay:They're like, oh, okay. I'm I'm not I'm not gonna holler at Troy because I know Troy gonna be on x y z. So if I wanna holler at Troy, I need to be on x y z. X y z. And it right.
JClay:And it is it's when we flip flop. It is when we say, okay. I'm a do this, and I'm a do this, and I'm a do that, which is still alright. Well, you know, I don't want to say that because I flip flopped on many things, in trying to calibrate what I want my life to be like. But but just know, like, you know, sometimes it may take a while for the rest of the world to catch up to you, but it will be there.
JClay:You will get to that point where you will continue to snap your fingers, and you can experience all that you want. Go ahead.
Troy Washington:Now funny that, and, again, you're you're right. Eventually, the world will catch up. And I think that the time frame is depending on how much you believe in your start in your movie. Like, you have to like, it's like watching the movie. Sometimes you look at them and you be like, man, they played their role.
Troy Washington:I gotta go watch the next movie. And sometimes you look and be like, ah, it was alright because that person wasn't the star. But depending on how much of the star of your movie you are, things would change at that pace. Now the funniest thing, though, Jay, is using real life situation as an example, I got a 6 year old for anybody that doesn't know his name. It's Brody Washington.
Troy Washington:Little dude that's very dynamic, very smart, and everything. Anytime he he just did it right before, you know, we started the show. Chardonnay was going to go get them something to eat, and she was like, what y'all wanna eat? And he said she said, do y'all want do y'all want Taco Bell? Let me get some tacos.
Troy Washington:And he said, I don't like Taco Bell no more. Now I say this to say that anytime he doesn't want anything, he'll literally say he doesn't want it anymore. And aside from the fact that now, again, when this happens, there is a a a barrier that gets built. Right? And as a parent, I'm like, bro, you ain't finna just punk me and make me just take you wherever you wanna go.
Troy Washington:We're not gonna do that. Right? But what'll happen is now whether I take him now to something different or not. Let's say, for instance, I take him to Taco Bell now. Doesn't matter if he eat Taco Bell now for the for the rest of the time that I every time I think about something, I'm gonna think he don't really like Taco Bell like that.
Troy Washington:And so it's going to sway my movements going forward. It
JClay:it Yeah.
Troy Washington:Is is is it's just going to happen. And, again, as a parent saying, no. You're gonna eat what I tell you to eat. Like, he might do it that time, but, eventually, we will fold. And it makes me think back about when I was a kid and how I demanded some things as well.
Troy Washington:I demanded stuff that my mama couldn't afford. Oh, I want this thing. And she's like, you know, we can't get that mug, and then she'll tell me no. And then, eventually, whether it was this year, the next year, or next year, I eventually end up seeing it. And it might not have been the way that I thought.
Troy Washington:Funny enough, when I was in 7th grade, bro, all I wanted was some Jabot pins. All I wanted was Jabot. I I gotta have some Jabot. I gotta have them all. And I told my grandmama, and she told me, nah.
Troy Washington:Them all. $60 jeans, you crazy. It's not happening. And then my 8th grade year, I got some Jabo. They was almost flooding, but I got them.
Troy Washington:Right? And then they was she told me before I wasn't getting them. Right? But I was so happy because the reality of it is just like Brody saying, I don't eat Taco Bell no more. And I'm I'm thinking to myself, dawg, you do eat Taco Bell.
Troy Washington:I still don't have the desire to take him to Taco Bell. But go ahead.
JClay:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, man, again, I love that because as you're saying this, I was thinking about what things have I talked about or said to others that I really didn't care about? And why would I waste that that vocal energy on stuff I didn't care about when I can talk about what I what I do want, you know, like, like yeah.
JClay:Or or what I don't want anymore. But instead of just say, hey, you watched the news the other day or did you see here what this celebrity said about this? Like that I don't want my I don't want my world to be more made up of certain things. Why not talk about only what I want my world to be be about, because it makes it easier for those that are around you that that are supposed to be there that you want around you to work with you or to just be in the space with you. It's like this.
JClay:You it's a conversation. It's a it's a it's a dance. It's a part. Like you said, we're all playing our part. And you get to deliver the script.
JClay:You get to deliver where you're headed, the arc of the character and all of this. And, man, I love all of that. And I'm I'm, you know me, I'm I'm particular about my speech. Like, I'm always watching what I say. But now I want to take that to another level because I haven't even considered just saying idle things that I might not think matter.
JClay:But it's it's it's all in there. Like, even even with social media, we talk about this all the time. If you interact with the video, you comment on it, you like it. They their algorithm says, oh, show them more videos like this. And then you get caught up like, man, like, why is this all on my on on my page?
JClay:Do do I like this? Have I have I said that I did? And at some point, you probably did.
Troy Washington:And so then I and, you know, I I'm I'm a cosigner. The algorithm always has it right. That's the reason why you can be hooked into something because you're expressing, like you said Yeah. You're giving it the approval. And, to your point, you know, I I I you don't you don't need any outside sources in order to validate what you're thinking.
Troy Washington:It's just kinda how that would go. And the and the funniest thing, I I thought about this as you were talking. I couldn't even imagine Brody saying so when we saying, hey. We gonna get Taco Bell or we gonna get, you know, churches, and him saying, well, dad, do I like do I like Taco Bell anymore? He's not gonna say that.
Troy Washington:He's not go he's not like, you're not gonna ask your like, you're gonna either say you do or you don't. But the reality of it is he's not seeking approval for for from me.
JClay:He wasn't.
Troy Washington:He was literally telling me, this is what it is today, and get with it. In the reality, what happened is he ended up getting something different. Because you know what we don't want to do? We don't wanna fight with anyone in their life. Right?
Troy Washington:We don't wanna fight with him about eating tacos because that's what's gonna happen for the next hour until we're at an impasse and nothing happens. Right? And so we know he gotta eat, so we might as well you know what? This is not my kid running over me. This is my kid saying, I know what I want.
Troy Washington:So and oh, go ahead.
JClay:Hold on. So so question. Like, how can we Let's say we are in a space where we are seeking approval for certain things or even from certain people, those people that are closest to us, like how can we how can we stop hustling for approval? Like, is there are there steps we can take? Are there certain behaviors we can practice?
JClay:Or is it just as simple as just do it?
Troy Washington:No. I I think that the steps that you and only reason I'm saying this is because I did it myself.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:I think the steps that you have to take are to when you actually seek approval, approve yourself. Like and it has to be a conscious thought. And, again, the reason why I know this is because whenever I write a song now and I I've told you this. Mhmm. When I finish with it, I can be the happiest person in the world.
Troy Washington:I can be like, oh, this go hard. Now, again, when I'm saying this, there's a caveat to it. Right? It's a unsaid, unspoken caveat that's going on in my body. And then the next thing that happens once I've been elated and happy myself, I'll be like I I literally think to myself, man, J Clay and Charnae gonna say this thing go hard.
Troy Washington:That's what I be saying. And, again, why that even matters is a question for myself. Right? Again, I know why it matters, but to the extent that I give it the power, it doesn't. Of course, I want my best friend and my wife to like my music.
Troy Washington:Of course, I do. Right? Like, I could be very happy about something that y'all could come and say is not tight, and I can be like, dang, and then have questions about what I've done or the way that I've done it to make me change. But the thing that I had to start doing was when I was excited, and then I came down off my excitement and said, man, Chardonnay and Jay Clay gonna think this go hard. I stopped myself and said, no.
Troy Washington:This go hard. Yeah. This goes hard. And remember how you were just a second ago. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. So okay. So with that, like, how do I say this? When I there have been times where I wanted something. Right?
JClay:I said, okay. I'm gonna go in this direction. I'm gonna go on this journey. And I I thought, okay. Well, nothing's new under the sun.
JClay:How have others do it? Done it. And then I'll try to emulate them, and then they might do something I don't agree with or I don't know. It's just it's just not my path. And then I'm discouraged because I I did this I with this whole route, and it's like, I don't I don't wanna go any further in this route.
JClay:Like, I'm I'm not happy about it. And and so one of the things that I I started doing was instead of seeing how someone else did it, I would just write out how I would do it. And it's a it's a different path and it's like, oh, yeah. This this would take me there. Like, I don't I don't have to use their way.
JClay:And that's not to say you can't be influenced by it, but give yourself the shot first. Come to yourself first. Kinda like similar to what you said. Brody said he first thing he did was declared it. I'm going to declare it and I'm not going to accept anything less.
JClay:So you try to give me Taco Bell. No. No, you hungry.
Troy Washington:I ain't not that. You
JClay:know what I mean? And it's like, how often do we do that for ourselves? Like, if like, we we set a goal and then we're presented with things that are less than, but we're like, let me let me go ahead and take this too. But it's like, nah, I don't don't accept nothing but your goal. Like like, declare it and stick to it.
JClay:Come to yourself first. How would you do it? What's your path to it? And it's it's a different feeling. It's a different experience.
Troy Washington:And I I think that, again, a part of that is is is all a trick that you play on yourself, and I think that's the biggest part of what we're talking about is identifying what is it that I'm doing to myself to make me seek approval. Right? Like, what am I telling myself in that moment? And, again, just going back to my example, after I've already said that it was nice or I've already said that it's good, I, in turn, say, well, it's not good unless these people give me the approval. Now what gives y'all the approval over something that I've created that you have no idea what I'm trying to create or what it's supposed to look like?
Troy Washington:And, again, one of the funniest things that I I try to tell my wife all the time is she's a party planner, if you don't know. And she's like this creative she's this great creative designer. And she'll look at me and say, so what you think about that? And my my my thought process is it's tight. And then she'll ask me, well, is there anything missing?
Troy Washington:And my response is always, I don't know what you're trying to do. Like, I don't know what the end result is supposed to look like. If this is the end result, it's tight. And it's the same thing, you know, when it comes to music. Like, Troy, if you got any feedback to give me, well, I can only give you feedback based off of what I would think it's supposed to sound like.
Troy Washington:Well, if it's me on this song, I mean, I will sing the chorus or I would add this, but that might not have been what you were going for. And then the thing that kinda gives me the the the the mindset to recognize that that way is because there are plenty things that have been produced or created or made in life that I did not like. But guess who did? Everybody else. And so when I think about things that way, it's like I don't have to seek the approval of everybody because what I'm creating for myself is already for the people that it's for.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and then to that point, like, that there is no joy in, like, performing a song that you don't like. It's like like so so even with that, I am so particular in the songs I create now. I mean, not not just for many reasons, but but that's one of the reasons too because what if it blows up? I don't wanna be stuck having to perform this song that is like, this is a downer.
JClay:I hate you know, this this reminds me of a trauma. This puts me in a bad place. Like, that there's that That is not gonna happen because then I just wouldn't do the show, which could possibly, you know, lose out on fans and all that other stuff. But, just just really being aligned and purposeful on everything you create, everything you do, everything you declare, everything you say you want, and not not accepting less than that. So I I do wanna ask the the audience as well, those that are watching, do you have ways have you transitioned to that before, like, from seeking others' approval to not?
JClay:Or are you stuck in that situation, and you're looking for a way out? Like like, describe it if you can. But, but go ahead, Troy.
Troy Washington:No. No. I mean, I think that's a, a good question because at the end of the day, I think it's an ongoing journey, because you you can find your way out of seeking approval in specific realms of your life, but still fall into it in other areas. And, again, the craziest part about this to me is the the person that we speak to the most in our life, the person that has all the clues to what we're trying to accomplish, The person that actually has either a partial plan or the full plan and knows exactly what it's supposed to look like in the end will look to somebody else to try to validate something that they cannot even visualize. They have no clue.
Troy Washington:It's not their dream. It's not something that they've been internalizing for for for months on end. You know, the thing that I like
JClay:to think about, Doug, is
Troy Washington:and, again, this is without me knowing the true number. But I would like to say that 90%, and I'm only saying that because I know that some of the things that I facilitated in my life were because of the people that were around me. Right? That means I had to have some kind of cocreation in order for it to be done. But I wanna say that 90% of the things in my life that I did not seek approval for are the things that I was able to get done.
Troy Washington:And I think about, like, as an example, me becoming a realtor. Like, I didn't have that discussion with anybody. I decided one day. I didn't know what it was gonna look like. I internalized it, and I just went and did it.
Troy Washington:It's the same thing when it comes to making music. Like, I never asked anybody, do you think I should make music? You know what I'm saying? Like, I never I never I ran into the people that I ran into. I made my decision.
Troy Washington:I didn't I'd have to ask nobody if I needed to join, 5th flow. I just did them up. And and and and, again, all the things that I was the surest in my life are the things that I have the biggest stories for. Those are the things that I was able to live out. And, again, it doesn't mean in those instances there was a lapse in my strength of mine, and I didn't seek approval along the way.
Troy Washington:And that's why I said this is an ongoing journey that we have to work through, but go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and when you say that, that reminded me of, like, all the things I've, in a sense taught myself are the ones that are most helpful to me. And I say taught myself. I still went to certain guides or heard certain teachers speak or certain things. But it was the like you said, I didn't seek anyone's approval to want to learn about this.
JClay:It's like, oh, I want to learn about this one day. I want to try this out. I want to do this. And, yeah, even music. I remember there was a switch where one day I felt I was good before then.
JClay:I was like, no, I'm just the producer that raps. Like, I'm not I'm not a real rapper. I I said that for years. And then then one day it was just like, yeah, I don't need I don't I don't know. I don't I don't like you said, I don't need anyone else's approval.
JClay:I know what goes hard. I know what's right. I know what should just be done. And and even looking back, I always did, just like you always did, just like everyone always knows what needs to be done. Because as you pointed out, you know what you're trying to do.
JClay:You have the most knowledge. You have everything already, and we we dilute it, man. We we give it and and and we let somebody else stop us. We let somebody else say, like, nah. You shouldn't do that.
JClay:Don't do that. Or I'll be scared if I was you. Like, you you know, you can't say stuff like that or you can't do stuff like that. And we we listen. And what does it get us?
JClay:Nothing. We just we stuck.
Troy Washington:You know, the funniest thing is, to me, the ultimate the ultimate example is my way of life today. Right?
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:And it's funny because I I have talked with Bear, which is one of my good friends. You know him. I know you talk with him as well. And, you know, most recently, we were having a conversation probably a month ago, and I was telling him I was explaining to him why I do not have the conversation with everybody, why I do not go in and I don't, try to promote or push? And it it goes back to my point that I was making a while ago is that the things that I know the the way that I've been able to move in my life, the things that I'm unsure of, or I'm not hustling for approval are the things that I've been able to accomplish or I know for sure.
Troy Washington:And, again, it's just like if somebody was to come and tell me that there's no god. I don't have a conversation for it because there's no conversation to be had for me. I don't I don't and and, again, there's never a debate. There's never any points that need to be given. It's just that sometimes I'm aware, and I know, and I don't need any additional approval.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. You you hit him with that. Oh, okay. I it's no oh, okay. Yeah.
JClay:That's it. Again, my guy. That hey, man. That oh, okay. Oh, okay.
JClay:I tell people all the time, it will save you so much heartache, so many conversations, so much unneeded stress. Somebody tells you something, okay. You don't you don't gotta debate. You don't gotta go back and forth. You don't gotta try to prove your point to have a a PowerPoint presentation.
JClay:It's like, this is why I'm telling you because, like you said, like, if if you know something, you know it. It's it's it's yours. You don't have to convince. You can say your piece if they ask, but it it it doesn't need all of that because, again, you're already perfect. You you know these things.
JClay:So you stop giving away your perfection or trying to at least.
Troy Washington:No. Real talk. And so, you know, just kinda bringing this whole thing full circle. I'm a read the the title again, and I also wanna say this before I go into the title. You know, make sure y'all subscribe to our calendar.
Troy Washington:It's in the comments or in the description. Description. In the description. I apologize about that. So that way y'all can know everything that's coming with perfect mode and everything that we got going on.
Troy Washington:And, also, like, share, and subscribe to whatever you own, you know, just to show us a little bit of love. But stop hustling for approval. You're already perfect. And, you know, just thinking about again and again, this is something that plagues me, because like I said, there are some areas that I have no choice. Like, right now, I'm in a whole new world that I've never been in before.
Troy Washington:And fortunately enough, you know, it's funny. We we talked about snapping our finger and everything being right for us. Right? Well, I've never been in a teacher setting where I'm subbing for kids. And, you know, I do seek, acknowledgement.
Troy Washington:I am looking for approval. I'm listen to what I'm saying. I'm seeking, and I'm looking for it. Now I'm not verbally asking anybody for it. I'm not.
Troy Washington:But the universe knows what I'm looking for. And, fortunately, for myself again, not saying that it's needed, but fortunately for myself, everywhere I go, there's a teacher saying, hey. You know what? You're the best sub I ever had. Hey.
Troy Washington:You know what? You know, students are telling me you're the best sub. Hey. We're we we got people all around me big upping me so that way I can have what I feel like I need to to number 1, the most important thing of this is say, you know what? Boom.
Troy Washington:I am these things. I don't need to hear it anymore. And maybe I didn't have enough, but the reality is I snapped my finger, and I needed my world to move in such a way to make me to be to make it able for me to operate in a space that I feel comfortable in. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. So I'm I'm I'm thinking because, like, you know, we always have everything we need. I mean, even though we really don't need anything because we have everything. Yet when approval isn't there, that should signify that we don't need approval. And when it's there, it's it's one of those things.
JClay:Like like, something like every now and then, I might feel a quick second of just feeling down on myself, like, just for a hot seat. I don't stay in that that long, but then somebody just reach out from just somewhere far and wide and just say something that has nothing to do with something. It could be something to do with my music or article or I don't know. Just something small. And I'm like, okay, god.
JClay:I hear the message. I hear what you're trying to tell me right now. Stop stop being in whatever state I am. Get back to what I'm doing. Go back to what what I'm doing.
JClay:It's doing what it's supposed to be doing. And I I said that to to to anyone who may feel as they're struggling, keep your ears open. Keep your eyes open because God is communicating with you. There are clues that you are on the right path already. And, I mean, again, you know it because you know what you love doing.
JClay:You know it excites you. And when you do it, it adds to that that excitement. But in addition to that, there are other signs and things. It's like, yep. Come on.
JClay:Keep going. We we we got you.
Troy Washington:And I I wanna say this about that, that that moment of being down. And it's funny. The only reason I say this is because I had another friend just recently say something very similar, and this is what I encourage everybody to realize. So number 1, I'm not saying this to give anybody approval, you, my friend, or myself, because I, too, myself, have felt this way. I'm letting myself know that I don't need anybody else's approval in it, number 1.
Troy Washington:But I will encourage everybody to realize that you are all things, and that means you're all things good and all things that you deem to be bad. And the reason why I say this is because I think that it's all necessary even going through these moments so that way you will know what they look like. You know? You you, like you understanding what something looks like gives you an opinion and an opposite, perspective for you to know where you want to go. And so, you know, to Jay's point, I would tell you to listen because it's always out there for you, but also to not be afraid of the dark.
Troy Washington:And the reason why I say that is because you have it anyway. It's there. And you just choose not to live there, and that's fine. But the reality of it is it's the reason why you're able to shine so bright. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. The the dark helps you see the light. They work together in in in perfect harmony. One is not necessarily better than the other. It's just what you choose.
JClay:And, yeah, even like I said, like I've always said, though, like, at at the point of of at the point of your your brightest point where you're surrounded by nothing but light, like, all you see is light, and your lowest point where you're surrounded by nothing but dark, They are very similar and that you are akin to everything that's surrounding you like you no matter what. So so, you know, you are part of your environment. And so that's just to show you that even in the dark, even in the light, there's nothing wrong. Everything is good. I love how you said that that we we are all things.
JClay:And in the example that you gave about we're playing a part, we are not only the star, we are the director. We are the writer. We are the producer. And we can produce a life that we really wanna live if we allow ourselves to dream, to write it out, to to direct it. Like, okay, let me let me let me practice this.
JClay:Let me practice walking like this today. You know what I mean? Like, just whatever we wanna do, we can we can do it so that we believe it. And people were like, man, you're you're good Action. You know, like, faith without action is dead is is the same.
JClay:Action. If you're acting, you're an actor. You take action. Get it.
Troy Washington:Nah. I love it. And I think that's ultimately the the answer, you know, to the question about stopping hustling stopping the hustle for approval. Just being actively you. Be active in you.
Troy Washington:Like, we have all these things come up in us, and a lot of times, we don't act on them because we want to get someone else's opinion or someone else's thoughts or we want to see something different. But the reality of it is the sooner you move or the sooner you act, the sooner the real realization happens. Because somebody can tell you that a movie sucks, and then you can go and watch it and you can love it. And so, you know, I think that, you know, to your point, the action part of this solves everything. And and, again, even speaking for myself, you know, just make the song or just go do the class or just just do it and and find out where you lie in that.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. I was laughing because, like, some movies can be so bad that they're good. And, like, if if you're willing to laugh at your life, like, it could it could change everything. And and sometimes, you know, we've all walked out of a movie before. Like, this is terrible.
JClay:I'm not I'm not gonna finish this movie. This is terrible. Like, we could do that with our own movie. Like, nah. And I'm not saying go kill yourself.
JClay:I'm just saying change the movie. Change the script. Go go write a new script. Go do something new. Yeah.
JClay:Because it because, again, life's too long not to enjoy every second of it.
Troy Washington:You know, it was funny. I know we we at the end, bro, but I have to tell you this. So funny, I I love when you say just go write a new script. Not telling nobody to opt. They said, we'll go write a new script.
Troy Washington:And the funniest thing is, you know, being around kids a lot, and and and just making a comparison to, a grown ups. You know, a lot of times, we feel like, as adults, when you get to a certain age, that it's it's too late to rewrite the script. Right? So so number 1, that's a that's one of those things where we wouldn't do it because we're seeking approval or validation for somebody else to let us know that it's supposed to be. Yeah.
Troy Washington:But funny enough, I have kids that are the exact same. And, the one thing that I try to tell kids even now is it's it's funny how this is all come together because the the the key word here you said was action. I've literally been telling kids, what do you wanna do now? Just go do that much. Because if you don't wanna do it later, you can just change your mind and do something different.
Troy Washington:But let's stop waiting, and the same rule applies for us. Like, no matter how old you are, until you're no longer walking the play face of the planet, then walk it. You know what I'm saying? And, it's just important that we recognize that. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And, one one interesting thing to that because, you know, I like to live in the now. I like to stay in the now and be be fluid in the future. And one thing that I I didn't consider, until recently is, like, you know, like, let's say, make a 10 year plan. It's like, okay, about future.
JClay:I'm I'm here. But if you see yourself in 10 years, you can make the changes now to kind of go in that direction, to walk in that direction. And so I say that, too, because, you know, sometimes people, they get to an age where they feel, well, you know, 10 years, that's a long time. I don't I don't want to do that. But again, that can affect you now.
JClay:Like you can you can be who you want to be in 10 years. You can be that person right now because it's the same thing as as you're just assuming that role. You're you're learning the lines, you're learning the parts. You're you're learning how to be that person. And you don't have to wait those 10 years to make that 10 year plan of how you see yourself.
JClay:You can actually make it now. So, just keep that in mind. Like, if if you if you want rapid change, learn the lines of how you want to be 10 years from now. Not real talk. And, I'll say this before we get up
Troy Washington:out of here, man. Like, we are grateful for everybody that joins us. Shout out to Loretta for actually being in and giving some commentary today. And for everybody that listens to us on the back end, you have to understand that, this show, you know, we we we we love doing this show. We love giving our ideas, our thoughts, but our perfection is only, a partial of what we want it to be based off of the the pieces that you bring to the table.
Troy Washington:So your perfection helps us to be even more perfect than we already are. Your perspective is, you know, key here. And, we we definitely thank everybody for always being able and available for us to help us grow. And, if you actually do like the show, we encourage you to like, share, and subscribe to our YouTube, TikTok, and Facebook, or even to the podcast. You can find us on podcast, on Apple Music, all the different places.
Troy Washington:But, you know, you ask and you shall receive, and we're asking for you to like, share, and subscribe to the YouTube, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, so that way we can keep this thing going. And, Jay, you know, I know we're at the end, so you can go ahead and take us up out of here, my my brother.
JClay:Yeah. Yeah. And and and like you said, we we're on every Sunday from noon to 1. Next week, we're talking about the art of surrender, how to trust the universe with your next move. So, again, yeah, appreciate all y'all that's rocking with us.
JClay:Remember, you're a perfect creation made by a perfect creator, so so you might as well accept your perfection and enter perfect mode. Yeah. If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection? Welcome to perfect. Welcome to perfect.
JClay:Where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations. I'm Jay Clay, rapper, spiritual teacher, with my cohost Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. Let's be real, so let's be perfect. Let's be perfect. Perfect.
JClay:Everything, anything, anything, anything, anything, anything, perfect. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Everything, anything, anything, anything, perfect.
Troy Washington:Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.