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Rav Shlomo Katz explores the teachings of Rav Shlomo Carlebach zt"l on the Parsha with the sefer Even Shlomo
Boker tov, good morning everybody. Month of Kislev, we're learning the le'ilui nishmas בתיה פייגא בת ישראל, le'refuah shleima of שושנה יונה בת אדל, the le'ilui nishmas Levi ben Yosef, by the Gantavniks for their for their daughter's bat mitzvah and their anniversary, by Raziel Chaim and Leah Hershkowitz, le'ilui nishmas שלמה לייב בן רפאל גדליה, and by the Finns, le'shmira for all of our chayalim, tzaddikim, gedolim, kedoshim, and for the refuah shleima of the injured chayalim דוד נתנאל בן אילה אהובה, צבי דוד בן תמר מלכה, אוריאל חיים בן מירב, אחיה בן יעל חיה, and טוב שמואל בן אבי ענוה. This week is sponsored by Michael and Cindy Levy in memory of דב בער בן זליג הלוי, and by Sarah and Itamar Rosen in memory of Itamar's ima, Raizel bas Itamar, on her fourth yahrzeit. Rebbotai, we have we have today a piece from Shlomo on Parshas Vayeitzei.
You can pass these around. This piece is one that I've always gone back to every year from the moment that I heard it and transcribed it and of course printed it. Because this piece is a description of of you and I, of how how we how we go out into this world and actually make it and don't break. How we pashut make it and don't break.
Yossi, good morning. Pashut how we make it. The neshama, everyone knows that our neshama coming down to this world is the same story. Like we come down here and we're busy with this mission, and we have all these different interpretations as to what's considered a successful mission.
And as we've said many, many times is that the Western interpretation of the value of success, of the concept of success has messed with our psyche in such a such a subconscious way, we're not even aware of it. We're not even aware of it. Our concept of success based on the world, for the most of us we were raised in, the truth is even all of us. The mode of success, the concept of success is something that I believe Chassidus comes and tells us, let's redefine what that actually means.
And it's worth it. It's actually worth it. It's worth doing everything you can to redefine what success means because we've seen already that so many of us have have become successful in many things that we thought were going to bring us that sense of shleimus, of happiness. And yet we're still burning inside with a hunger and a desire for something else.
And the question is, so how could that be? Like what are we running after? Not even even the good things, what are we running after? after? So the question really is, how do you do this? So parshas Vayeitzei comes in the first pasuk, ויצא יעקב מבאר שבע וילך חרנה. that Yaakov Avinu has to leave, and even though Avraham Avinu left for a very short time Eretz Yisrael, we don't have that many details about the journey besides a very interesting interaction with Sarah and Paro of the time. But really, Yaakov Avinu's journey out there into the world is filled with description of how does a Jew make it out there. How does a Jew make it out there? And when I say Galus, I don't just mean outside of the, outside of Eretz Yisrael.
I mean, you know already how I've said this so many times. It can mean right here, sitting right here, but out there, meaning out from this place called the Olam Ha'Emet, and down here in this world and make it through everything. Now one more important thing. These are not just like nice thoughts.
I believe that this also is the distinction between living a life of emet versus sheker. This isn't just like a nice opinion. Like today's teaching is not like, oh, this would be really sweet. I think that it really boils down to this distinction between, between what is actually truth and what is not true, and what's and where do I see the complete, talking about this post-October 7th, where do I see the absolute, you know, the clarity of the sheker that's in front of me, and how does it disguise itself to be truth? So all of the above is things are things that we're going to be seeing inside today.
And all of this is based on the Beis Yaakov. The Beis Yaakov of the son of the Meishlach, do you need a copy? All this is based on a piece in the Beis Yaakov of Ishbitzer on how he understands the journey of Yaakov Avinu, and we have to look at each of the psukim, each words. We're not going to do this today, but everyone who already did שניים מקרא ואחד תרגום, so when you saw this on Sunday, what's that? What was that? What was that? What was the giggle about? He's continuing. Well, what was the giggle? Everyone also did, you know, everyone did Daf Yomi every day this week, mikvahs, the whole, right? Of course.
Right. So when you did שניים מקרא ואחד תרגום on Sunday, so you probably saw this already inside. I'm sure you thought about everything, so for you it's just a review. For me it's also just a review because I mastered this already obviously, mamash.
אם יהיה אלוקים עמדי. Yaakov Avinu goes out and he knows that if he doesn't declare as he leaves that he needs the Ribono Shel Olam every single second of being out there on this journey, there is no way in the world he's going to make it. We think we believe that. We think that we live by that.
But really, if we stopped very similar to what we're learning on Mondays, if it's clear to me, when it's clear to me that if I don't, if I'm not journeying with Hashem every single second, Ein li sikui, I have no chance, I have no chance of making it. But the question is, what does that look like? What's a life of Elokim imadi? That's a beautiful question, no? What's a life through the prism of being with Hashem, Hashem being with me? So, we could go on I more I'm a trigger warning because there's so many tangents this morning that I'm already working very hard on not, Yossi is going to push me to I to I go for it, but I'm going to try not to. If you, if you can't hold back, it's fine. I that's how we work, that's how we roll here.
But we we'll we'll try to we'll try to keep things really, mamash davuk, stick to the text today.
כשאני מעוניין להרוויח סכום כסף אין לי כלום עד שאני מרוויח אותו בפועל. When I need, I want, when I'm interested in making a load of cash, until I have that money, I got nothing.
אבל כשאני מחפש את השם.
When I'm looking for HaKadosh Baruch Hu, כל פסיעה שאני פוסע בדרך לשם ממלאת אותי יותר ויותר. Every step I take towards Hashem fills me more and more and more. The truth is there could be a mic drop right here. This could, this is the whole shiur, the truth is.
Boom. Just the wanting is is enough. And the but it's not when it's money. That's the thing.
That's the whole inyan. The whole inyan is that when it's when it's something, how do I know if it's something worth running after? The question is if while I'm going for it, am I actually feeling more and more satiated? Am I feeling more and more filled with something, or do I feel more and more lacking until until I get it? Journey destination. Mamash.
יעקב אבינו יצא לחפש את בת זוגו, הנשמה התאומה שלו.
Yaakov Avinu goes out to find his soulmate.
מתי גילה השם את עצמו ליעקב ואמר לו והנה אנוכי עמך ושמרתיך בכל אשר תלך. When did Hashem reveal to Yaakov Avinu, I'm with you. I'm with you and I'm going to guide you through everything you go through.
לא אחרי שהוא מצא את הנשמה התאומה שלו. It wasn't after he found his soulmate, אלא כבר בשעת החיפוש. But he says this to him when, when he begins and sets out on the journey, on the searching. That's when Yaakov Avinu is told, you know, that I'm with you.
I'm with you. By us until we make the money, I'm like, are you with me? Are you not with me? I don't know, we'll see if you're with me, right? Let's see if you're actually going to end up being with me, Hashem. If I score this deal. By, by, by things that actually really matter, it doesn't work like that.
It works the opposite. It's exactly the opposite. Hashem's not with you if you don't make the deal. What's that? Because Hashem's not with you if you don't make the deal? Like if so.
Kivyachol, that's what our, that's what our, you know, immature spiritual minds tell us all the time. HaBeis Yaakov מסביר את ההבדל בין התורה לכל דבר אחר. So here we have the Deshbitzer is explaining the difference between between Torah and anything else in the world.
נניח שאני טס לעיר רחוקה כדי להרוויח סכום כסף ממישהו.
Suppose I have to travel very far to some distant town to go and close a deal, make some money.
עד שאגיע לשם, לא יהיה לי קשר כלשהו לכסף הזה או לאדם הזה. Until I close the deal, I don't have any connection to the money and I don't have any real connection to the person that I'm busy doing the deal with.
ולבסוף כשאגיע לשם וארוויח את הכסף, but then when I'll get there and I'll make the money, הקשר שלי אל אותו האדם יהיה רק בעקבות קבלת הכסף ממנו.
What's the extension of my connection to that person? It's solely based on the money that was made, but not the person, necessarily. Not the person that I'm. Last night, my wife and I were in Yerushalayim. And we, we went right next to where we were, there was an art gallery.
So we walked inside. It was really late and it was still open. It was very weird. And I'm, I was going to say l'chaim.
We were out because it's our 17th wedding anniversary. Mazal tov. Right next to, so we, we were like in this, like, oh, let's like, let's pretend that we don't have six kids waiting at home and and and, you know, and and Tiferet suddenly has like a whole party with her friends at the house last night and let's just walk into an art gallery at 9:30 at night, you know, right? It was one of those, one of those moments. We walk in, and I see the hamocher, the the guy that's selling, he's so big on there's this other couple that was looking, they were looking at this art, art we could, I could never afford in in in lo b'olma hadein, v'lo b'olma d'asi, right? But it felt very, you know, we felt very regal.
Freedom. Free, yeah, free to look. Right. There's a problem halachically, you know that.
Huh? Window shopping is a problem halachically, you know that. Whatever, it's not the sugya for a different time. But I, I had there the kavana of saying Ribono shel Olam, if, I'm telling you, if things go crazy somehow and I could actually walk in here one day and with the machshava to get something, I will make my wife so happy. So then I'll shalom bayis, we have kavanas that this could be a metzius one day, you know? One of those kind of things.
So listen. And I saw this guy that was working there. He was working on a couple that was there, and working them hard, hard, hard, hard. Uh, I didn't know they have the inyan, they know what to look at, the watch, the shoes, they know exactly where people are, right? They have the whole chochma there, right? The accent, big, very big.
The time they walk in. Um, so in any event, the guy was working them so hard and I was thinking to myself, while he's working them so hard, it seems like he mamash cares about them, the way he was talking to them. And that's like the chochma of of in that world. And then they left and they didn't get, it seemed like they didn't, they didn't end up getting anything.
So I wanted to look back and see the guy, do you still have any kesher to everything you were putting in right now? Is there any kesher left over after that, right? But I didn't, because I didn't want to be in a state of judgment, so I didn't, I didn't take a look. Lo me'anyen oti, because I knew we were going to learn this today. So I started thinking about it already like seeing that last night, my kesher to the deal, even to the person I'm doing the deal with, could be very chazak, but it ends the moment that what I wanted to get was, you know, it's not always like this, but generally speaking, once the deal's done, mazal tov, it was a nice experience, but I'll see you again when I need to see you. Or when you need to see me.
That's the kesher to things that maybe are not really that important in life. Aval b'yachas la'Torah, fourth, fourth paragraph, אבל ביחס לתורה זה להפוך לגמרי. It's exactly the opposite.
יש לי קשר עצום להשם עוד לפני שאני מוצא אותו.
I have such a my kesher to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, my connection to God is so strong before I could declare and say, "I found God." והקשר ימשך גם אם אפסיק לחפש אותו. And that connection connection will continue even in moments that I don't actively search because it's a different, it grabs hold of a different part of me. It grabs hold of the real me. It grabs hold of a part of me that I wish was the way through that was my tour guide.
That this person that shows up through the kesher la'Hashem is the one that's leading my life. This person is the one that's showing me around this world.
כשאני רוצה לדעת אם אני אוהב מישהו, אני יכול להתבונן מה קורה לי כשאני מקבל ממנו מתנה. When I want to know if I love someone, I should take a deeper look at me.
What happens to me when I receive a gift from them?
אם לא אהבתי את אותו אדם, אגיד פשוט תודה וחסל. I don't really love the person, then when I receive it, I say, "Oh, thank you." And it's done.
יתכן שלמחרת אפילו לא אזכור מי נתן לי את המתנה. And it could be that the next day I won't even remember who gave me the gift.
אבל אם המתנה מגיעה מאדם שאהבתי, but if the gift that I receive is coming from someone that I love, גם אחרי שנים ארוכות אוכל להביט במתנה ולהיזכר באדם היקר שנתן לי אותה. Whatever that small tchotchke is that I put in my office or in my bedroom or somewhere in the house, if it's someone that I love that gave it to me, that gave me that gift, then it doesn't matter for I don't know if you have these things in your house, if you could think of an example, but forever, when I see that, it brings me right back. And that love is there. Why? Is the value is it is it has nothing to do with the value of that gift, value also olam hazeh.
It's what took place through the transaction. Not even I don't like that word transaction for this. It's what took place at the moment that my heart was open when I received, when I received it. And it lasts with me forever.
Always. That's why it's so this is like like an anniversary story, you know, the the I'm I guess I'm like a shtickel hoarder. Not not like not the way that we think about hoard but like there's there's when I would travel, I was traveling a lot, I I did, I got so many different things in different countries and I got a lot of different things from people over the years, right? And I was traveling a ton before I got married. And then when I got married and we actually moved into like a house, into our places and moved from place to place till we moved to our house, a lot of things were not really invited to to come and join the the next.
And I and I get it, like there's no, like things that obviously should not, you know. But to me, like, I like many people over the years really they did, they touched my neshama. That's like, b'emet they touched my neshama. So different things over the years, I remember this is that, this and that.
So it's great, but it it had to also play its time and now you have a home and you have to it has to look, you know, a shtickel not like a bachelor pad in Nachlaot. It has to look like like like like a bayis. But these things, these I'm sure each of us have these things in our lives. And that they mean things to us forever, it's because of the person that gave it to us.
It's not necessarily about the actual object. Now let's go veiter. Namik od, go deeper.
אחרי שהשם נתן לנו את התורה, התקרבנו אליו מאוד.
We got really close to Hashem once we received the gift called the Torah. But you know what?
גם לפני שקיבלנו אותה, כשהיינו בדרך להר סיני, כבר אז היינו קרובים מאוד. We were already very close even before we received the Torah, before it actually happened, before God just for the sake of comparison, before we got the money, right? Before the deal was done. We mentioned one of them this past Shabbos in shul.
You know, when did we say zeh Keli v'anveihu, elohei avi v'romemenhu? When was that? On our way to Har Sinai. On our We we didn't get the Torah yet. Why would we why would we speak such beautiful words and point with our fingers and say, zeh Keli v'anveihu? It didn't happen yet. I didn't get, you know, the purpose of taking me out of Mitzrayim, which was to bring me to Har Sinai and give me the Torah, it didn't happen yet.
And yet what am I saying on my way? On my way, I'm already pointing with my finger and saying, this is my God, and I'm going to glorify him and beautify this relationship. It's the most beautiful thing in the world. Why? Because when it comes to Hashem, when I'm on my way. When I'm on my way, I already feel so close.
And when it comes to other things, like I was talking about in Western mentality, mentality in terms of the concept of achievements and it's a whole goal-oriented system, and it's so dangerous. It's very, very dangerous. I think people are picking up on this a lot more today's day and age in the world of chinuch. I mean, for for for many of us, the worlds we grew up in, 80s, let's say, well a little bit before that.
Shtickel? Rav Chaim Shlomo? 79, yeah. 78, 79, right? So a little before that Mr. Rich, like in 1978, but also in the 80s and 90s, you know, your term the the the the concept of success, right? Success by children, by children. They're they they're being raised in a world that success means what? Money. Outcome.
Outcome. It's quantitative and qualitative. Nachon. But in a pnimiusdik way, you know, no one ever told them that you should know that while you're working, while you're trying hard, while you're giving it your all, I'm giving you a 100 on that.
No one would ever, why? Because teachers are petrified that then it would mess up the whole system. But could you imagine if there was like a hishtadlus, what do you what would you call it? Like a hishtadlus you get an E for effort? You get an E for effort. Imagine you got an A for, you know, effort. we would change the word or something.
I don't know, right? But real emesdike effort, like the real, the real thing. It would be a completely different world. So we we look at that system and say, oh man, it's so messed up. I feel so bad for kids.
You don't think we do the same thing with our Yiddishkeit when we're older? Same exact thing. And that's why sometimes I get I have these conversations with the chevre that are that are, you know, with the daf, that I'm always making sure that they don't fall in this inyan of that the success is if I'm able to make sure I keep up. Right? It has to be, the world we're living in today, the Torah will, the experience of Torah with today, it cannot be did I finish it with the cycle with everybody else, just to say that I finished it with everybody else. There's got to be some words jumping off of the daf every day that actually stick with you.
Has to be. It has to be. Remember we were learning this, but I don't know if it was Rabbi Biderman or I forget who this was with. You'll remind me.
Imagine a person would walk into a Daf Yomi shiur, but they don't learn Daf Yomi and they just wanted to learn a few minutes of the daf people are learning today. No one does that. Who learns Daf Yomi? Let's be real. Who learns Daf Yomi? Box checkers.
No, no, I'm not going that far. People that want to go through, people that people that learn Daf Yomi, right? But Daf Yomi is also the word of Hashem. So imagine like you walked into a shiur that you're in the middle of a sugya, you just, you know, you weren't there a few weeks before, months before. You don't know if you're going to be there tomorrow or the next, God knows what.
And you and and they walk and say, oh, where are you holding? Nowhere. I just wanted to come to the shiur. Oh, but this is Daf Yomi. Yeah, but it's also the middle of the word of God.
And just in this moment right now, I could I could I could have more of a stronger connection through my chipus, right? It sounds ridiculous, but that's what it it has to be like that with words of Torah. It has to be like that. Can't be the other way. Lo yachol l'hiyot.
Chevre, I'm not discouraging anyone, God forbid, from learning Daf Yomi. God forbid. It's just a very easy example to point out the Western mentality of achievement. That's all I'm trying to say over here right now.
And that we have to really lehokia. How do you say that in English? Lehokia? Repudiate? Sure. Yeah, repudiate. Is it like throw up? Like kia? No, no, no, no, no.
That's with kuf yud aleph, kuf yud ayin. It means to like, expunge, extract it. Eradicate? Let's continue. Let's continue.
K'sheani rotzeh davar. You see, what I'm saying is that on the way to Har Sinai, we would look at Yidden that are so happy. They're saying, what do you mean? You didn't start. You didn't even learn שני מקרא ואחד תרגום.
What are you so what are you so b'simcha about? You didn't even start Daf Yomi. What are you why are you so b'simcha? You didn't get to the, you didn't get the the shtar instead of, you didn't get the Artscroll here. What are you so happy about? So yeah, but I know it exists. But I know it exists.
I know that it exists. That should fill my heart. And I'll be on my way one day. However it works out, it'll work out for me.
Could this be people who because we always have a hard time with with like ilu, remember we have this inyan of ilu, ilu yotzia mitzraim, ilu kirvanu, the lashon was like if only Hashem did this but didn't bring us into Eretz Yisrael, Dayenu. But if it's the level of like longing and wanting to be, that that'd be a beautiful. Yeah. That was also probably the first time in their lives they were able to breathe, that generation of Jews, because it says in Mitzrayim the slaves they had what's called kotsar ruach, is that it? So like they they left Egypt, they weren't slaves under Mitzrayim anymore, they actually could breathe even if they hadn't received the Torah yet.
So with that breath, they could say, zeh keli v'anvehu and like they had a. K'vod. They had the spirit of life. Absolutely.
Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Nachon.
Okay, bottom paragraph.
כשאני רוצה דבר מה ואין לי אותו עדיין אני מסתובב כאוס. When I want something and I don't have it yet, I walked around angered by the fact that I don't have what I want.
כשאני, now, you can even say this about Torah and go about Torah in the wrong way.
And middos. And all, this is not just about money now. This is now about, so to speak, holy things. And this is where it gets even harder and deeper and trickier.
By saying it about money, it's easy. That's an easy thing. By saying this paragraph about holy things is where the real avodas Hashem check-in is. This is where it's really at.
Again, when I want something and I don't have it yet, I walk around angered.
כשאני כוסף למשהו, but when I long for something, אפילו אם טרם זכיתי להשיג אותו, הלב שלי מלא שמחה. When I long for something so real and beautiful and holy and deep, even if I haven't got it yet, my heart is filled with simcha. Why?
מפני שהכיסופים מגיעים ממקום גבוה כל כך.
You know what kisufim? You know when you know when you say kisufim in a different format every Shabbos?
כי זה כמה נכסף נכספתי. Nichsof, nichsafti. I've been taken, I've been taken by the spirit of longing. When I long for something holy, even if I don't have it yet, I'm already receiving something of it.
And that's the, that's the way to tell if what I want is wanting or longing for something. If I just want something, then until I have it, not only do I not have it, I also get filled with anger. If I long for something, even though I don't have it yet, something is happening to me b'derech. Something's happening on the way.
And then when you get the thing that you want, oftentimes it's like, okay, I got it. And then it's the next thing. It was great, but thank you for the wanting. Thank you for the kisufim.
Kisufim. And in chasidus they speak about this, obviously it's connected to to kesef. Right? To the Rabbi Nachman has a lot of Torahs on this thing. The origins of money and whatever.
Tzarich iyun, but it's it's it's coming from a very holy place. This place of longing comes from a very very holy place. Not only that, Reb Shlomo says here, כשאני כוסף לדבר שבקדושה, when I long holy things, אני מחובר לצחוק עשה לי אלוקים. I'm connected to the concept that Hashem made laughter for me.
What does this mean? Ani mitmaleh tzchok. I start cracking up. Why?
מפני שמעולם לא דמיינתי שאוכל להרגיש ככה עוד קודם שקיבלתי בפועל את מה שאני נכסף אליו. This is so deep.
When do I start to laugh? I start to laugh when I when I look at my life and I realize, I never in a million years imagined I'd be that guy that gets high off of really wanting holy things and not even being there yet but still wanting it. Because I envisioned myself as that guy that's a go-getter, that's a goal-achiever. That was my image of myself and therefore I never, it never brings out any depth of me, any simcha pnimis, any anything real. And then I stop for a second and I realize, oh my god, when, when did this happen? When did this happen that my life that I rearranged and redefined key concepts which define my success in life? And then I become this person that's a kosef, a kosef, a long, a holy longer.
Right? And then when I realize that about myself, I all I could do is start to laugh. laugh. Because it's too awesome to imagine that that actually I've tuned into that state of being. I bless us all to have this laugh in our life.
It's a very, very, it's a very wonder I don't know not that I know what it's about, but I imagine it's a very, it's a very wondrous thing, you know. I think Yaakov Avinu is working in reverse. Or I should say, Yaakov Avinu is going forward but we're all coming from a different, in a reverse place. In Western cultures, a hasaga of achievement.
That's how so many of us were raised. Yaakov Avinu, איש תם יושב אוהלים. And he's thrown into that world and he's got to deal with it. So for those who are naturally inclined to be drawn to that yearning and to only, or should say mostly desire that, there's kefia, there's the being forced into having to deal with the material aspects and with survival on a material level, which which makes this so much more challenging.
See, so it's one thing to come from this place of like, you know, living in the world of materiality and I have, I need to go and I need to achieve and I need to accomplish and I've done all that, but now I have to like figure out how do I get connected to that longing. But I think Yaakov is really starting from the opposite because he's only been always just been connected with the with the ruchnius and with being that tmimus. So. If Parshas Toldos didn't exist, I would agree with you.
But Parshas Toldos shows us that Yaakov Avinu had to face the exact opposite of what he knew. Right. And start relating to the world completely differently from the moment that he sells the, that he gets the bechora, continuing with the way that he does with the brachos, he already has it in front of his face before this happens. But meaning it's a different struggle than what most of us come, the world that most of us come from.
And therefore? So therefore, I'm not letting you off the hook. I'm be'kavana not letting you off the hook because there's no room to kvetch over the fact that he had it, he's coming from a different place. ze lo meshaneh, farkert. I would I would even say the other way around if we really look at this.
Because when I long for something, even if it seems that I'm not there in that situation yet, in that place yet, the longing itself, in a holy way, removes all the excuses from me as to why I shouldn't be a person that's busy in this parsha. It removes all the excuses that I could give myself based on the way I was raised, the world I was brought up in. And when it's real longing, all those excuses fade away. Doesn't exist anymore.
When it's not real longing, the excuses of the home I was raised in and all the VC, all the victim consciousness things, stand there and they're directing the show. And they're disguising themselves in kedusha. When it's real longing and it's really about Hashem, no excuse exists. It fades.
The longing, the cheshek, the nichsof nichsafti breaks down all those things. You hear what I'm saying? Yeah, Yosef. Actually ties into the last letter we did with Reb Ushi as well. Yeah.
Not just that there's a longing, it's that we should be happy to a certain extent that we're longing. That we don't have yet what we want. Correct. Right.
I always tell you guys, open your yearbooks. Right? Open your yearbooks. Right? If I graduated high school I would've opened my yearbook, right? Open your yearbooks and take a look at Eddie and I don't know. Just thinking of names from my, Veronica? I said Eddie.
I mean what's, I went to yeshiva, I don't know. Whatever, whatever. Eddie. I grew up with Syrians, you know, Eddie.
Eddie, Joey, Albert. Right, more or less, right? All the different whatever. It doesn't matter who it is, right? And it's not l'shem, God forbid, being like, oh my God, look at those lo yutzlachs. Chas v'shalom because we have no idea where most of these guys are, right? We have no idea.
But I then say to myself, it would have been very easy and would have made a lot a logical sense, if I never get trapped into this whole spiritual longing zach. Life, it would have added up much more had I just been someone that continued on that way and never ended up in like spending time on a Wednesday morning at 9:30 AM, like dealing with my soul. And then say, ah. But this is my chelek.
And it's hard. And it's and it gets tangled up, and who cares? Who cares? cares, because it's so worthwhile. It's so worthwhile for me to redefine what success means for my children's sake, for my wife's sake, for Hashem's sake, for Am Yisrael's sake. You know, for Am Yisrael's sake.
That's why we like, the more the war was going on and people were using the term nitzachon muchlat, and I, and I myself realized that's a, these are two completely different definitions. What I interpret as nitzachon muchlat and what the world is saying nitzachon, or people are saying nitzachon muchlat, complete total victory. Complete total victory means, first of all, they were talking about it even in olam hazeh, completely different terminology. But even fuf veiter, deep inside, what's considered nitzachon muchlat based on this? That while I'm on my way to eradicating evil from this land, I don't take my eye off from the prize.
The prize is not sur meira. The prize is v'aseh tov. That's the nitzachon muchlat. We should be zocheh to get there.
Amen. Next page.
כך זה גם ביחס לשבת.
נניח שאני רעב מאוד.
This is so beautiful. He says, look at Shabbos. Suppose I'm very hungry and I dream, ואני חולם כיצד אלך בעוד שעתיים למסעדה צרפתית והרביץ סעודה גדולה. Imagine I'm very hungry and I'm dreaming how I'm going to go to a French restaurant and I'm gonna fress.
Okay? You know what fressing means? Eat like an animal. I'm gonna eat like a beheima. Beheima gassa. And I'll even say, but Rebbe already told me I'm an animal, so I'm just doing what, no, no, no.
Right?
אני אמשיך, אני ארביץ. I'm gonna fress like, like Yidden, you have, you know, when you go to these whatever, without mentioning locations, but some of these smorgasbords, it's, it's insane. Fleishfest. Huh? Fleishfest.
Fleishfest. It's, it's, it's insane. And you know, Rav Weinberger shlita always speaks, he speaks a lot about the the mahalach of what happens to the eyes at these, at these smorgasbords, and he speaks about it a lot. It happened last year, I was traveling and I really didn't eat that day and I was so hungry, and I knew I was got to be at a wedding, and I was at a wedding that night and one of these lavish, you know, weddings, and Rav Weinberger was there at the at the smorgasbord.
And then I, and I, and I realized like, this is amazing, like, I'm not going to eat a thing right now. Even though I knew all day I was so hungry, and I was like, it's gonna, the smorg's right here, you know, it's, it's coming up. But he was there at the smorgasbord and I and it was it was an amazing, beautiful, like, live the Torah you learn moment, you know? I was starving, but it was, and he looked at me and he said, said, "Shlomo, you look, you've been traveling, go, go, go eat." I said, "Rebbe, come on. You know I'm, I know I'm not going to touch a thing here, right?" It was great.
It was very cool. Okay, so אבל עד אז אמשיך להיות רעב כמו כלב. But until I actually get to that French restaurant and start fressing, I'm going to be, he used to say this a lot, starving like a dog. Rav Shlomo used to say this all the time.
I guess dogs starve, I don't know, but he used to say this all the time, starving like a dog. He says, החלומות על אוכל לא ישביעו אותי. All the dreams I have about the food are not gonna satiate me.
הקיבה שלי תתעקש, שמע, אני מעריכה את זה שאתה חולם כל כך הרבה על הסעודה, אבל זה לא עוזר לי, אני צריכה אוכל.
My stomach's gonna say to me, "I really appreciate your you're dreaming about the food, but you got to get something in here." אבל ביחס לשבת זה אחרת, regarding Shabbos it's completely different.
מספיק שאחלום על השבת וכבר אתעם שמץ ממנה. It's enough that I just, I just dream about Shabbos, and I already taste a shtickel of it. K'echsof? Beautiful, exactly.
K'echsof noam Shabbos. I I I long, right, for the sweetness of Shabbos and already right then, I'm I'm I'm tasting it. Yes, it hasn't happened yet, but I'm tasting it. I am.
זו הקדושה המיוחדת של השבת. This is the sweet, this is the special, this is like the special holiness of Shabbos. I want to say it veiter. All of us are very much under the awareness that the Moshiach hasn't come and Geulah hasn't happened yet.
But the only thing that keeps us continuing here in Eretz Yisrael is because we're already, we are, we are dreaming about what it's gonna be like. That's why chevra have problem with the Zion, huh? Ke'cholmim. But people have a hard time with the whole, with with a a a facet of the Zionist inyan where they're saying, "No, no, no, it's happening, everything." No. I mean, you could say it's been happening since.
briyat ha'olam. But we're we're dreaming for that which we know will happen, and that's what satiates us, not the other way around. Not the balagan that we have in this country and the self-induced coma that many people are slipping, nebach, back into. It's that we're tasting the yom shekulo Shabbos.
And that's the only thing that's really keeping the passion alive because we could already taste it. Not based on what we have in front of us right now. For many people, it's like a fresh French restaurant ordeal. Until they get there and the nitzachon ha'muchlat, they have nothing but it's not like that.
We know it's not like that. Why do you think Messianism became a curse word? Because it takes a lot of guts to dream. And you have to go out of your comfort zone to dream. You have to become vulnerable.
And also, it's a complete, it's one of the other reasons I think is because it's a on a on a chinuch level, just on an education level, there's a complete misconception of basic terminology. So that word, and I'm not blaming it on people's fear of Shabtai Tzvi, it's just that people have have a hard time with being vulnerable with with them they themselves becoming kosfim, longers that dream. And therefore they take a word like that and they're like, wow, look at this, this bad word. I wonder if it also has to do with the fear of what happens after.
Fear of the unknown. Yeah. So it's like, you want to make a million dollars and then you make it and you're like, you see this with lottery winners and they win and then they just crash. Oh yeah.
Oh yeah. So Moshiach comes and you're not ready and you haven't longed, like the real way, and then it comes and you're like, I dare to long for something that I have no idea what it's going to look like afterwards. But but but real longing for Moshiach doesn't mean I'm longing for something that I have completely no idea what it's going to be like because the real longing itself is very much taste buds of what will be. So it's not foreign to you.
Right. When it's real emesdikeh longing. When it's real holy longing. Right.
I'm saying and I think that the people who are terrified of it just haven't tasted it. They haven't tasted it. No one ever gave them a taste. No one ever gave them a dosage of like a of of like, hey, take this, it's not, look look how not scary it is.
It's much scarier going the other way. Wouldn't you all be terrified if it if if we were stuck in the other way of thinking of like what Zionism is and this whole Eretz Yisrael thing? Be the end. We we wouldn't make it. Tom's River, here we come.
We're done with you. We're out of here. No way. Wouldn't wouldn't make it for a second.
It's all a focus on outcome because it hasn't come yet. So we're right as opposed to B'diyuk. It's all focused on on totza'ot, 100%. Here, let's continue.
Just a bit more, chevra. Hineh od derech.
הנה עוד דרך לברר כמה אני אוהב אדם כלשהו. Look another way to see where your love is at.
צריך להתבונן כמה אני מרגיש קרוב אליו בשעה שאני חושב עליו. I have to see how close do I feel to this person while I'm thinking about them. I'm not even with them. I'm just thinking about them.
נניח שאני אמור לפגוש בעל מקצוע בשבוע הבא. Let's see, I'm supposed to meet, the truth is I remember their English was he was saying a manager. It got it got wrongly translated. Manager is what he was speaking about, business manager.
nipagesh n'daber v'zehu. We'll meet, we'll speak and that's it.
אבל כשאני חושב על בתי הקטנה שאפגוש מחר he was traveling here and he was going to see his daughters tomorrow, the next day. He said, but imagine I'm going to see my daughters tomorrow.
באותו הרגע הנשמה שלי כבר טועמת את טעם הפגישה העתידה. At that moment I'm already my my soul is tasting that which hasn't happened yet.
אני כבר מרגיש שאני ליד בתי.
זה משהו אחר לגמרי.
I already feel like I'm next to her. And it's something completely different. And we have to tie this back into the parsha. What's Yaakov Avinu on the journey for? To find his soulmate.
And then to make it back to Eretz Yisrael.
כשאני מחפש את בת זוגי נשמתי התאומה, when I meet my soulmate, ואני פוגש אישה שהיא גם מחפשת את נשמתה התאומה, and I meet someone that's also looking for their soulmate.
אנחנו מביטים זה בזה, we look at each other, we gaze at each other.
אני כספתי אליה והיא כספה אליי.
I longed for her and she longed for me. And we know this that this is what happened with the meeting of the eyes by the be'er. This is what took place by with Yaakov and Rachel.
הפגישה בינינו מתקיימת במדרגה של כיסופים.
Our meeting meeting each other is on the level of longing.
אבל כשאני הולך לעיר רחוקה להרוויח סכום כסף, אין לי כלום עד שארוויח אותו בפועל. Why is it that when I go to a I travel to go and make a business deal, I have nothing until I actually make the money?
מפני שהכסף לא חיפש אותי. Why doesn't this work with money? Because the money wasn't looking for me.
Money wasn't longing for me. rak ani oso. Only I was looking for the money. Therefore we understand real emuna is Hashem is always looking for us.
This is it. Hashem yisbarach, his light, the ein sof, his ein sof light, the Torah, every the real stuff in life, what life really really boils down to, it's looking for us. And therefore when I think of it, I already start to get filled with passion. Why? Because we're looking for each other, we're longing for each other.
I could taste that. I could feel that. Yerushalayim is looking for every Yid. That's why you could be sitting anywhere in the world and you close your eyes, אם אשכחך ירושלים תשכח ימיני, and you feel something.
Why? Because you know Yerushalayim is looking for you. You know this. You can't explain this, you can't prove this. You can't write a thesis on this, but you know it in your heart.
Not only because you said that when you got married. You know it in your heart. The money doesn't look for me. Yerushalayim looks for me.
Hashem is always looking for me. And therefore, I meet on the level of longing. Because when two people long for each other, they are looking for each other. And even before they met, there's still a cheishek, there's a feeling, there's a desire that awakens.
pitchu sha'arei halev, open your hearts. As if you could understand one word he said until now if your heart wasn't open. Now he says open your hearts, right?
גם אם השם זה כך מדוע אני מחפש כל כך את השם. So we just said, why why do I search for God all the time?
מפני שהשם מחפש אותי.
תוך כדי הכיסופים שלי להקדוש ברוך הוא גם הוא כוסף אליי. Through during my longing for God, he's also longing for me. A misnaged would never say a Toyre like this. Only in Chasidus they could talk like this, right? Can't say this these words, God is looking for you.
God is God. He's looking. God doesn't look. The Ribbono Shel Olam isn't looking, he's longing for you.
He's longing for you and you'll meet. You meet in the place of knowing Hashem, you've been looking for me, you've been waiting for me. And then like we could say, and I've been waiting for you. You could actually start to taste this this this world.
כתוב בתהילים ישמח לב מבקשי השם. You all said it about an hour ago, hour and a half ago.
אני מבקש את השם ועדיין לא מצאתי אותו. I'm asking for Hashem.
I haven't found Hashem.
אם כך מדוע אני שמח? Why am I happy?
אני אמור להיות כועס. I should be angered. Right? The posuk doesn't say ישמח לב מוצאי השם, happy is the heart that found God.
Happy is the heart that's mevakesh Hashem. It's a Toyre from the Alexander Rebbe. He said it many times. Why is it like this? I didn't find God yet.
I should be angered and on shpilkes and frustrated that I haven't had my God experience yet. But why is it that the heart desires through searching?
מפני שכשאני מחפש את השם מתוך כיסופים רבים, because when I search for God from a place of a lot of longing, זה ממש מדרגה של ישמח לב מבקשי השם. I realized, this actually makes me happy. This search, this search, I haven't gotten there yet.
This type of living, this way of choosing to conduct my life actually brings me the greatest joy in my heart. Greatest joy in my heart. Nothing else you could offer me could bring me more joy. Even if you said, here's God.
No, no, no, no, no. I'm I'm with the longing. I'm with the searching. I'm on my way.
But the self-persecuted mind that we've been contaminated with always tells us, until you beat that battle, until you stop that addiction, until you've mastered that, until you finished that masechta, until you've been kavua with minyan three times a day for at least three months, don't call yourself someone that's in the parsha. And that's a tamei, it's an impure, dilute, not even diluted, it's more a completely me'uvat, a twisted way. even perverted way of approaching this whole sugya. No, the second, the second that I say, right now I want to be close to you.
I have no idea how long this is going to last, but right now I want to be close to you. You taste a simcha in your heart, a joy in your heart that all the other achievements in the world would never ever make you feel, ever.
ישמח לב מבקשי השם. Mevakshei has no limit.
There's no, there's no, oh, only a person that does this is considered mevakshei. There's no such thing. That moment that I just want it, that I long for it. Zehu, you're in that.
And then you're in the parsha of of simcha of the heart, joyful bliss in the heart. And refuah, a healing starts to take place, like we could never imagine. Because there's so much detrimental, toxic waste in us that has come from the other way of approaching this whole thing. So much.
Isn't that where the fear of Mashiach comes from though? Our longing right now is for that Mashiach time. That's all we talk about and then what? Once we achieve that, the deal's done, then then what's the longing for? I wish that's why people stopped davening so much for halevai. I wish that was the reason. Even though in the pnimius, there is a there is a very much a chashash of people saying, for instance, I once heard a tzaddik saying, I won't go to Eretz Yisrael.
Why? Because then the longing would stop to go to Eretz Yisrael. But I heard Reb Shlomo say, you could say the same thing about longing to get married. I don't want to get married because this longing to be with someone fills me so much. But Reb Shlomo says the saddest thing in the world is when people stop longing for their soulmate once they've found their soulmate.
So I want to say the same thing about Mashiach. The real emesdike relationship with Hashem in the times of Mashiach will provide for us a way to continue to long for that which we already have. It's not missing something. Longing means you could have it and want to get deeper and deeper and deeper with it.
And again, this is what the Satmar Rebbe was so, not the current one, Reb Yoel Titlebaum. This is what the Satmar Rebbe was so nervous about when it came to Zionism. Because he says if you learn the Torahs in Satmar, if you learn it, not just hear what you, based on what you heard, there was a there's a chashash, there was a pain that said if you go and you and you go for the goal being Eretz Yisrael, we're back, we're settling, we're starting a country, and then you'll turn that as a Mashiach thing, you're going to stop longing for that much more than what it really is. You'll stop dreaming about it.
If you if you did then nitzachon amuchlat. You're going to stop dreaming for it.
אם אתה מחפש וכועס מפני שטרם מצאת. Basically, chevre, if you're if you're searching for something and you're angry and upset because you haven't found it yet, סימן שאינך מחפש את הדבר הנכון.
It's a siman you're not looking for the right thing. Listen again to what he said. If you're searching for something, even if it's holiness, and you're angry because you haven't reached it yet, it hasn't happened yet. It hasn't been a siyum yet.
There hasn't been a streak that you've met that you've met that feels it's a kovedik streak. It's a siman that you're not looking for the right thing.
אם אתה עצבני מפני שעדיין לא השגת את הדבר. If you're on shpilkes because you haven't reached what you were longing, what you were looking for, כנראה שאתה מחפש, הדבר שאתה מחפש איננו גבוה כל כך.
It seems that what you're looking for is not that high. What do you mean? I want to be a talmid chacham. Yeah, but your your concept of a talmid chacham is such a shallow concept of a talmid chacham. What do you mean? I want to make aliyah.
Your Eretz Yisrael is is is diapers. What do you mean? I want to build the Beis Hamikdash. Your Beis Hamikdash is is is so shallow. It's so shallow.
We're talking about davka about holy things.
יעקב אבינו הביא לעולם את הידיעה הזו.
ויצא יעקב מבאר שבע, אם יהיה אלוקים עמדי. Yaakov Avinu's whole monologue with the Ribono Shel Olam right there in the beginning of the parsha, what did he bring down to the world?
יעקב אבינו הביא לעולם את הידיעה הזו, שמי שמבקש את השם באמת.
Hashem says to him even in a dream, if you're really searching for Hashem, then Hashem can come to you even in a dream and tell you, כבר כשחיפשת אותי, even when you were still looking for me thinking you have to get there, הייתי איתך, הייתי איתך כל הזמן. You know what's going to happen? when Mashiach comes. This is Ishbitz 101. The Ishbitzer tells us, the greatest gilui about Mashiach, to go back to what you were saying, the greatest revelation about real, about really living in a Mashiach consciousness is that we're going to be able to look back at all of our moments in our life and realize in the emes, I was always searching for Hashem.
It just didn't look like that in this world. That's the revelation of Mashiach. Come Shabbos mornings, I'm so proud of the chevra that come Shabbos mornings to the shiur. My favorite shiur of the week because it's not recorded.
Where the Ishbitzer takes us on this journey every, the gilui of Mashiach is that we'll reach a state where Hashem will show us, you were, you were, you you had an abusive, you had an addictive personality, you wanted something, and the world told you, look what a shmutzik you are. This is what you want. And you told yourself, what kind of filthy animal? Look at you, a menuval. Mashiach's gonna come and show you the shoresh of your ratzon was a kisufim for something holy.
Just no one ever taught you how to manifest it in a holy way. But in the shoresh, that's all you wanted. Enjoy your day.