Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem

This episode begins with the hosts apparently deciding that the most responsible way to generate income in 2026 is to establish a completely legitimate, definitely-not-illegal lemonade cartel somewhere in Idaho. Within approximately three seconds, the conversation has already descended into whether you can be arrested for operating an unlicensed lemonade stand, how old you sound when you incorrectly pronounce the word “permit,” and whether saying “haberdashery” is itself evidence that you've reached an advanced stage of adulthood. This eventually leads into the absolutely magnificent story of Tyler, aka Heavy T, a 34-year-old man associated with The Woody Show who was apparently sent into the wilderness of Southern California to operate a lemonade stand as some sort of human sacrifice for entertainment. What Tyler didn't know was that the whole operation had been rigged against him, because one of the show's producers sent friends and teenagers to deliberately antagonize him. What begins as an innocent beverage enterprise rapidly becomes a psychological warfare operation involving threats to call the police, people returning with eggs, and the general realization that perhaps Southern California is not the idyllic paradise one imagines when dreaming of selling citrus-based refreshments to strangers. Despite being subjected to what can only be described as the Vietnam War of lemonade stands, Tyler somehow walks away with $45 after two hours, proving that capitalism remains alive, confusing, and occasionally sticky. 

Naturally, the logical next step is to debate the appropriate price of lemonade during the current economy. One dollar? Five dollars? Two dollars with free Costco cookies? The hosts begin reverse-engineering the entire lemonade supply chain, including whether lemons can even grow in Idaho, whether someone's indoor garden could provide the necessary agricultural infrastructure, and whether the novelty of two grown men operating a lemonade stand might actually increase sales. The conversation then takes a hard left into what might be the most aggressively cursed business proposition imaginable: fish milk. Yes. Fish milk. Not metaphorical fish milk. Actual fish ground into a fine white protein powder and subsequently transformed into a strawberry- or chocolate-flavored beverage. The episode explains how fish milk has been promoted as a possible nutritional option in Indonesia amid a shortage of cows, with pony fish processed into powder before being mixed with water and sugary flavors. Suddenly the humble lemonade stand has evolved into a maritime dairy conglomerate. 

From there, the hosts enter the Great Milk War of 2026. What technically qualifies as milk? Does almond milk count? What about oat milk? Why does nobody seem to agree on what milk actually is anymore? One host launches a full-scale assault on almond milk, declaring it terrible, while the other defends it on the grounds that it's convenient, shelf-stable, and perfectly acceptable when unsweetened. This somehow becomes an argument about almond farming, water usage, cow shortages, plant-based food culture, and the broader societal collapse surrounding the fact that drinking a normal glass of cow's milk apparently now feels like you're participating in some sort of controversial underground movement. The discussion briefly wanders into beef prices and grocery shopping before immediately transforming into a forensic investigation of gas prices and a former coworker's Facebook post. 

The gas-price segment becomes a spectacular demonstration of the ancient human principle known as “your wallet, your choice.” A former coworker posts about spending $120 to fill up his enormous truck, prompting the hosts to point out that perhaps operating a gigantic fuel-consuming land yacht comes with the predictable consequence of needing gigantic quantities of fuel. The debate isn't simply about gas prices; it's about whether owning a giant truck is justified, whether you actually use the truck for truck things, and whether complaining about expensive fuel while driving a massive vehicle is analogous to ordering a seven-foot pizza and becoming angry that the pizza is seven feet long. Diesel enters the conversation, along with the observation that diesel vehicles can have excellent fuel economy, followed by the inevitable realization that diesel trucks are still extremely large objects that require considerable amounts of extremely expensive dinosaur juice. 

Then the episode takes a sudden financial nosedive into the stratosphere with the story of a guy shopping for a private jet with a $30 million budget, only for the salesman to calmly explain that buying the jet is merely the beginning of the financial apocalypse. Fuel costs hundreds of dollars per gallon. Pilots and flight attendants need hotels. Landing at airports costs money. Want to rearrange the furniture? Congratulations, that bench you're replacing costs hundreds of thousands of dollars. Suddenly the $30 million airplane resembles a $30 million subscription service to getting financially punched in the face. The hosts then connect this to RVs, campers, boats, storage fees, insurance, licensing, towing, repairs, winter storage, dump stations, and the mysterious recurring expense known as “disposing of the dookie.” The conclusion is devastatingly simple: sometimes the juice is simply not worth the squeeze. 

The conversation then becomes unexpectedly nostalgic about 2020, with one host describing how financially successful and socially entertaining that year was for him because he could work remotely, play video games with friends, and have people available to hang out online. The hosts acknowledge, however, that the pandemic itself was obviously horrific and that people died, creating the strange and uncomfortable phenomenon of simultaneously remembering certain personal experiences from that period fondly while recognizing the enormous suffering happening around the world. Naturally, the episode refuses to remain serious for more than approximately fourteen seconds before returning to trucks, Idaho winters, four-wheel drive, and whether a gigantic pickup might actually be useful when the weather turns into a frozen death dimension. 

The hosts then begin designing their hypothetical luxury transportation empire, including Mercedes Sprinter vans loaded with every imaginable option, rear air conditioning, luxury partitions, and enough interior customization to accommodate a human being who requires significantly more legroom than the average automobile engineer apparently anticipated. The Sprinter van wins the philosophical argument because it is actually useful, unlike certain expensive vehicles whose primary function appears to be announcing to everyone within a five-mile radius that the owner has money. This naturally brings up the Cybertruck, which is characterized as the automotive equivalent of a man standing in a parking lot screaming “LOOK AT ME!” The Corvette then enters the arena when a man in Park City dramatically deploys his electronically retractable roof and apparently adjusts his rear-view mirror specifically to verify that the hosts are admiring his vehicle. Batman has nothing on this guy. 

And then comes perhaps the most brutally accurate sociological conclusion of the entire episode: men are largely impressing other men. The hosts argue that the people most impressed by an expensive sports car are other dudes. The people most impressed by a massive physique are other dudes. The people most impressed by elite guitar playing are other dudes who play guitar. Meanwhile, the mysterious secret weapon of actually attracting women might be something as deranged as singing, reading books, taking care of plants, or possessing a personality that isn't entirely composed of horsepower and torque. This eventually culminates in a magnificent karaoke fantasy where one host claims that his screaming and yelling causes women to spontaneously swoon while his significant other desperately attempts to keep them away. And thus, after traveling from illegal lemonade commerce to fish-derived dairy, from almond milk warfare to $120 truck fill-ups, from $30 million private jets to pandemic nostalgia, from luxury vans to Cybertrucks and finally to the sexual power of karaoke, the episode ends exactly where it belongs: somewhere deep inside the human brain, where lemonade is illegal, fish are milk, sports cars are mating displays, and screaming into a microphone is apparently irresistible.

What is Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem?

The Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem can be heard live on KBEAR 101 weekdays at 12pm MST. Viktor and Peaches talk about a wide variety of topics depending on the day and you never know what to expect!

Speaker 1: The noon hour of Madness Mam the podcast.

Speaker 2: Peaches has stuff.

Speaker 3: I think we're supposed to start this off with the hook, right? To get the listeners' attention within the first three seconds.

Speaker 2: Yeah, I meant to point at you. So hurry, hurry.

Speaker 3: What do you got? Uh we should run a lemonade stand. That might be a way to make some money.

Speaker 2: But couldn't you get arrested for it? Like why? For running an unlicensed business. Oh. Doesn't that happen to get a few minutes?

Speaker 3: If you're one of those people that shows up and says permit incorrectly, and you go like permit. Permit.

Speaker 2: That's a sign you're old. Are you gonna call the sheriff? Back to the sheriff.

Speaker 3: Do you say the word haberdashery?

Speaker 2: Let's see. Lemonade standed. Let's see what we got here. Okay, we'll go to Snopes. Have children been fined for operating lemonade stands. Um Oh my gosh, it won't tell me.

Speaker 3: So while you're Google searching that, my friend Tyler, Heavy T is his nickname. Uh huh. He's a bigger dude, as you would expect with the nickname Heavy T. Um, he works for the Woody Show in LA. He's been on and off with that show for the longest time. I think they pay him like little to nothing to be like their wild dude that's you know below the show to do the crazy stunts so the hosts can laugh at him kind of thing.

Yeah. My friend Randy was that for the longest time, and then he luckily now has a new job with the NFL. Not the NFL.

He worked at the NFL for a while with their podcast network, and now he's with a whole other podcasting company. Okay. But Tyler, um, he was told by the hosts of the show, why don't you run a lemonade stand and see how well you can do for a few hours at a major walking path in wherever California.

Okay. So little did Tyler know that Jeff, the one of the producers on the show, um, told his friends and his friends teenagers to come by and start, you know, just antagonizing the crap out of Tyler. And so this guy who looks who has the rolled-up socks, he looks he kind of has he has the tattoos all over him. Uh-huh. Kind of I I don't know if I can even say the word on the air. But here, hold on.

Speaker 2: Um I don't know if that's uh yeah, I don't know if that's good or not. Let's let's just pass.

Speaker 3: He has the longer shorts with the high-up socks, tattoos all over him. Usually those dudes are incredibly nice. They're easy going. They're they're down with anything, you know, and they're quite they're they're they're a vibe, as the kids would say, you know? Yeah. Um but uh one of Jeff's one of Jeff's friends uh showed up uh as like this mean, just he's I'm gonna call I'm gonna call the police on you. He leaves and comes back with eggs and starts egging the woman.

stand. That's what would happen to us. Well, that I was thinking, I'm like, well, people in Southern California compared to here, they're so much more mean. Like everyone here when I first moved out here, besides the police, um, were incredibly they're still incredibly nice to me. They're just nice people around here.

Yeah, no, for sure. But uh, like in Southern California, you get the snootiest of snobs, and they're they're just awful people. Like, you know, they'll put the the sign up. Uh here lies the last dog that pooped in my yard. Like, who do you think you are? Or they say, don't even dare park here outside my house. If I see one of those signs, I park there.

Speaker 2: Now, how much would you charge for lemonade in the current economy? Oh, a dollar. A dollar?

Speaker 3: Yeah, Tyler was charging two, and he was throwing in free cookies from Costco.

Speaker 2: Okay, because I mean, if you bought giant jugs of lemonade. Well, what if you made it yourself? I think that's what Tyler did. I think it would cost more to make it yourself than to just buy it.

Speaker 3: Tyler is 34 years old and lives with his parents. So his mom has a lemon tree in the backyard.

Speaker 2: Oh, okay. All right, well, that'll save you some.

Speaker 3: That saves you a good amount, right? So we have to find somebody who has a lemon tree. Is it lemon season?

Speaker 2: I don't think lemons can grow here, Peaches. Dang it. Unless people are doing it with their indoor garden man.

Speaker 3: Oh, you know who you know who's very close to having that. Tosh Gyler over there. Dude, he's getting garden obsessed. Hey, he's always posting videos. You got Chantel posting videos from the kitchen, and they can get away with it because if I were to post a video from my kitchen, it would it would be the saddest thing ever. There'd be an empty room behind me where a dining room table used to be, the plants gone. It looks like I'm living in a set, you know.

Speaker 2: You've moved into the back rooms.

Speaker 3: It look it looks like because you you interviewed showing teeth, and she had nothing on the walls.

Speaker 2: Yeah, it looked like Peaches' house. Yeah.

Speaker 3: Well, no, the the set of the no place like home, ninth key music video looks like my apartment.

Speaker 2: Now, me and Becca were cleaning up the dining room yesterday, and we've got all of these posters and you know, a bunch of them in frames and just nowhere to put them. And I'm like, we need to hang up more stuff. Where are we gonna put it?

Speaker 3: I thought you were about to say, like, let's go to Peach's place and then put them on the walls there.

Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, you need posters, peaches.

Speaker 3: No, I got plenty. My one room is decked out.

Speaker 2: All right, all right. Well, at least you have one.

Speaker 3: Well, the that's the one part of the place that's just not decorated at all. Where the dining room table used to be, the plant, you know, that's all gone and everything.

Speaker 2: But it's where you lay the plastic out on the ground. You know, I invite for when you decide to become Dexter.

Speaker 3: Oh, I thought you meant like uh peach. What's it Patrick Bateman? Yeah, so you like Huey Lewis in the news.

Speaker 2: You've got your whole dining room just wrapped in plastic.

Speaker 3: I do have as like state-of-the-art record player in my living room.

Speaker 2: I do have the axe on the wall.

Speaker 3: Okay, we figured it all out. We figured it all out. The final The final plan. Come over, Jared Leto. I want to talk to you. Maybe I'd become a hero if I did that because of what the allegations with him and all that.

Speaker 2: People are not very happy with Jared Leto. Yeah, Poppy called him out on stage. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. I don't remember what I I probably can't even use the phrase she used on the radio. But she she wasn't very nice about it.

Speaker 3: Well, yeah, Tyler found out the hard way going back to the lemonade stand story that uh um it was all a setup, but he he did make 45 bucks in the span of span of two hours.

Speaker 2: That ain't too bad. Because I I'd probably charge five bucks a glass in the current economy. You know, if it was fresh homemade lemonade, five bucks a glass.

Speaker 3: I need to weird that like two grown men are selling it.

Speaker 2: Uh the the novelty of it might help you make sales. I mean, when's the last time you stopped at a lemonade stand?

Speaker 3: I I've driven by them. I I've uh there's been a few in my neighborhood, and I just kind of look and they try to flag me down, and I just go even faster.

Speaker 2: That's the same. Same here. But if I saw some weird dudes sitting

Speaker 3: at lemonade stand, I might go, what are they doing? What if we had K-bear stickers? Yeah. Yeah. We could somehow get the listeners to show up. But that might be exploiting the free sticker with purchase.

Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's like breaking in our work involved, and who knows what the rules around here, you know.

Speaker 2: Yeah, we'd probably have to just do it on our own and not tell anybody. But I'm very easy to spot. You know, the intersection of like Woodruff and 17th.

Speaker 3: The middle of the roundabout. We just distract everybody. Oh.

Speaker 2: Yeah, that that could be but getting big people to stop in the roundabout. Oh, yeah. I like that plan, Peaches.

Speaker 3: First it's beautiful I messed up. I messed up.

Speaker 2: Dang it. Do it. Give it another shot.

Speaker 3: I was about to say, how about instead of lemonade? Well, I said I was I I said what I said off the air out loud. First it's beats, then it's Mary Jane, you know? Oh, yeah. Because we're talking about Josh's garden off the air.

Speaker 2: My indoor garden's getting built.

Speaker 3: What I was supposed to say is how about instead of lemonade, we sell fish milk. Controversial fish milk touted as a drink option with kids' meals. It just tastes like normal milk.

This was published uh two years ago. Um, the reason why I have this pulled up is because recently I sent you, Jade, and Josh, a video of these two dudes trying to drink fish milk, and one of the guys is incredibly squeamish. Yeah, he's all like... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

and I figured Jade would be that guy. Yeah, and we brought in just a pitcher of fish milk and had him try it. Now, supposedly two years ago in Indonesia, the coastal country of Indonesia is milking its abundance of fish to compensate for a drastic cow shortage for programs like school lunches.

So what's happening is local fishermen are bringing in these loads of pony fish. They're sending them to a factory to be deboned and ground into a fine white protein-filled powder.

Speaker 2: And then you just mix it with uh sugary flavors like strawberry or chocolate.

Speaker 3: Later, the milk of the sea is brought to another facility for a sugary flavor of either strawberry or chocolate, like what you just mentioned. And fittingly, the powder seems uh simply needs water added. And there's the picture of the fish that they're full on grinding to a powder.

Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's disgusting.

Speaker 3: Um you're saying that you could do that pretty much with anything and call it uh so-and-so milk.

Speaker 2: Well, I guess it's like almond milk, isn't that just ground up almonds? Um mixed with probably water, same with oat milk, anything else. Yeah, and none of it's milk. No. Because milk comes from a living thing.

Speaker 3: We're in a very weird age

Speaker 2: where it comes from the breast is a Borat would say.

Speaker 3: Normal milk is considered just like gross to some people. Like, I don't drink milk at all. Like it used to be like you would have a glass of milk with dinner or breakfast, anything like that.

Now it's like, oh, that's bad for you. There's all this sugar, and you got those weird, like vegan people going, I drink almond milk. Almond milk is one of the worst things. I don't care what anybody says. I don't care how great of a brand it is, almond milk sucks.

Speaker 2: I disagree.

Speaker 3: I know you do because you like to do so.

Speaker 2: I well, and I actually do like almond milk. I don't because you can buy it and it's shelf stable, so you can put it in the you know cupboard. You don't have to buy a giant jug of it. You know, because I don't use a lot of milk, and uh I think it tastes just fine. You get the unsweetened, you know, play. What?

Speaker 3: And it just it just tastes like milk. You're the guy that likes IPAs. So I consider your opinion nolan void.

Speaker 2: Those have tons of flavor, unlike milk. It just has it's kind of bland. Like if I'm if I'm not eating cookies or cereal or you know making some kind of dish for dinner. I'm not gonna drink a glass of almond milk or regular milk.

Speaker 3: I think big plant-based wanted everybody to kind of uh go away from what's better for them, and that is the good old two percent.

Speaker 2: Well, and I do think that almond milk uh and almond farming is a problem. Because they use a lot of water, use a lot of water. So even though I like it, I don't know, but we've got a cow shortage too. So I don't know.

Speaker 3: Not by the fat people I've seen.

Speaker 2: He's hey now. Move. have Now, have you been to the grocery store in the last few days?

Speaker 3: Um, I have been to Fred Meyer.

Speaker 2: Did the beef prices come down?

Speaker 3: I have not taken a look at anything of that sort. But that's the thing. I I my fridge is mostly empty, um, especially at a time like this where I'm headed out of town, so I always empty out the fridge before I leave.

Speaker 2: Makes sense. Yeah, I'm just curious because I saw one guy online saying it had, but I haven't verified that for myself. I know the last time I bought some ground beef, I was I was kind of pissed.

Speaker 3: There was a post by somebody who uh supports the current administration that used to work in this building that was complaining about the gas prices on Facebook, and I so was waiting for you to comment.

Speaker 2: Is it can I guess which person it was? Yeah. Okay, let me go to his page.

Speaker 3: You've had loud arguments with him in this studio.

Speaker 2: Okay, that's what I kind of figured.

Speaker 3: And he he showed a picture of the uh the gas pump price, and it was 120 bucks to fill up his uh well, I would say doesn't he drive a behemoth of a truck? Uh huh. Yeah, see, that that's your choice, buddy.

Speaker 2: Yeah, your wallet, your choice. Yep. I uh at the time I bought my truck. I think gas was, you know, maybe two bucks a gallon.

Speaker 3: But you also know that filling up a giant vehicle is going to take more fuel. Oh, yeah. You can also compare it to somebody who's like my size. You need to have more food for the giant dude. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: Yeah, and I mean, I would do complain about the gas prices because they suck.

Speaker 3: But you're not helping yourself by having that tank of the truck.

Speaker 2: But it's cheaper to pay the gas prices than buy and buy a car. Okay, yeah, sure. Yeah. Uh, because I I don't want to get rid of the truck. Right now it's filled up with stuff that needs to go to the dump. You know, I I do truck stuff with that truck.

Speaker 3: But the but again, I've also argued in the past that some people just have a truck here for the sake of having a truck.

Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, oh yeah, for sure. For sure. But I use it for truck stuff. But uh I I see his post and I didn't see it.

Speaker 3: And I wanted you to make I wanted to make sure you saw it today.

Speaker 2: I will absolutely be leaving him a comment because was that in your vision? All right, we'll leave it at that. All right, Peaches. We were off air talking about how how popular we are, all these noises we get. But no, um, you mentioned you thought you might be irritating me by sending me a lot of uh videos and things.

Speaker 3: I send people Facebook reels quite a lot, and of course, I'll get hit up by those friends that are much younger than me, like Bryson and Charlotte or my other friend Tyler. They'll say, like, oh, you're the only person that sends me stuff on Facebook.

Speaker 2: See, and you you'll send me stuff on uh variety of platforms Facebook, Instagram, uh, Snapchat, text message, and I I don't want you to think I'm being rude or like, uh beach is a game.

Speaker 3: There was that one time that I was sitting in my car in the jack in the box drive-thru because they have they never have you in the jack in the box drive-thru. They they never have you just go right through. They always have you, well, it's gonna take a minute or two for your tiny tacos to be cooked. Can you park in one of the parking spots?

Speaker 2: That's why I always order my food anymore to uh with the app to for pickup. You know, I just order 10 minutes before I get there, and I walk in and I leave. And so the drive-thru pickup, you end up getting stuck there, or yeah, nothing worse than when you use the app 10 minutes in advance and they still park you.

Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. And so I parked there, and then I really I see this again, big truck parked next to me. I'm like, who's this D bag? And I look to my right, and it's Victor half awake behind the wheel. And so I'm like, let me give him a call and see what his reaction is. If he rejects me, I'm gonna be pissed. So I call you and you roll your eyes big time. And I was like, oh, okay. I guess I'm annoying him.

Speaker 2: I was probably hungover or something. I think you were. I was a jack in the box in the morning.

Speaker 3: I think Becca was in the passenger seat, just yapp yap yapping away. I'm like, oh, he's getting annoyed. I actually don't think she was. I think it was just you about yourself.

Speaker 2: But I wanted to let people know if you message me and I don't get back to you. Like, don't take it personally, because I get so many messages on so many different platforms. Like my Instagram messages are backed way up.

I don't even know how far. Same with Facebook. That's why I don't really add anyone on Snapchat, because I don't want more messages. I need like one central platform for everyone to message me on.

And I think it should be texting. Yeah, just text me. If you don't have my phone number, don't bother. You leave me alone. No, you can message me, everybody. But I know I've got a lot of backup messages I need to go through, and many of them are yours too.

Speaker 3: I have done that those breaks before where I'm like, hey, if you try calling the studio and then you message me on Facebook telling me to pick up the phone, I will block you because I I just can't stand that. Uh or like if somebody texts me saying, hey, call me, please, I will never do that.

Speaker 2: But dude, I'm the worst um in the opposite direction. Where if I message someone and they don't get back to me, I'm like, oh, they they're mad at me.

Speaker 3: Yeah, hey, my guts. I saw you roll your eyes at me.

Speaker 2: What do you think I felt? Again, I was probably just like hungover or something. But yeah, I messaged uh my friend Steve the other day, who I haven't talked to in a really long time, and uh, you know, it was a nice long message, and yeah, I'm gonna throw him under the bus on air. Steve didn't message me back, so I assume Steve is mad at me and hates my guts. And uh until I hear from him, uh, that's what I'm gonna assume. And communication goes both ways. Yes, I hadn't messaged in a very long time, but you know, other people can message me too, ride Peaches.

Speaker 3: But I also I also think in my head, if they really wanted to, they would. That's my that's like my go-to phrase. Yeah, if they really wanted to, they would. Or like uh nobody is really bad at texting, they just don't care about you enough.

Speaker 2: See, those are the type of ideas I get in my head, yeah.

Speaker 3: And that's what I think. I'm like, because I I myself like I used to hate quote bad textures, but I also now hate more so the people who are texting all the time. I was back when I was uh you know actively trying to like pursue like I was trying I was putting myself out there on the dating apps years years back, and there was this one girl from like the state of Washington that kept going, hi, what are you doing? Hi, what are you doing? And I I think I yelled, I I think I put shut the up

Speaker 2: in all capital letters, and safe to say, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3: Yeah, last night I was uh after I, you know, got a camera, I was blowing up some uh phones OF creators.

Speaker 3: No, I want to collab. I got a nice camera now. Do you need someone to take your picture?

Speaker 3: I just want to take some photos.

Speaker 2: The shoots and 4K all of a sudden Victor has those glasses on, and he puts on a fake wig with the hair slicked to the right.

Speaker 2: But no, uh, hit up uh Howie Rock, who we had a nice long conversation via text. And then I hit up Lou Brutus and he sends me back like the he thumbs ups it.

Speaker 3: My dad does all the time. I can send him like hey, that's what Jade does.

Speaker 2: I threw away the plant. Thumbs up emoji.

Speaker 3: My pet this neighborhood cat died, thumbs up emoji.

Speaker 2: Yeah, so he thumbs up it, and then he just, you know, I'm like, I'm sure I'm gonna be bugging you for you know tips and tricks and advice. And he's like, get Adobe Lightroom, and then that was it.

Speaker 3: That's an expensive software. It's 140 bucks a month.

Speaker 2: Yeah, so I was like, Well, okay, thanks for the tip, Lou.

Speaker 3: Like Lou, we don't make the money you do. Yeah, Lou, what about for Christmas for Victor?

Speaker 2: Okay, Peaches. So I did go ahead and uh leave my comment on our former coworker's Facebook post complaining about gas prices.

Speaker 3: And I see uh a lady by the name of Kaylee said, Yeah, we filled the truck the other day and celebrated that we found diesel for $4.79. Again, you don't need to have a diesel truck.

Speaker 2: Well, and that's kind of sad that you'd celebrate $479 a gallon. Now I did see diesel in Salt Lake City for six bucks the other day.

Speaker 3: There are people who do that kind of work, but again,

Speaker 2: and diesel, you generally get better fuel efficiency, uh, better gas mileage and things like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if you get a diesel car, like those things, they get killer gas mileage. But a diesel car.

Speaker 3: Yeah, they're not going for the diesel.

Speaker 2: But a diesel truck uh is gonna get better gas mileage than like my truck.

Speaker 3: Um guy uh for some reason I ended up on on this uh this Instagram reel of a guy buying a private jet. And the salesman was very, very, very honest. He's like, okay, what's your budget? What's your maximum that you're willing to spend with us? And the guy goes 30 million dollars. Jeez. And he talks about how like you do realize that if you fly this thing around, fuel is 425 dollars a gallon.

Um 425? Yeah, for so you're spending about like such and such amounts per year. Wow, when you fly somewhere, you have to pay for hotels for the flight attendants or the pilots. You don't you don't even realize that.

No. Then he's like, you also, if you want to take furniture out and put new stuff in, he's like, look at this bench right here. You have to take that out and replace it with two chairs.

If you wanted to do that, that's 400,000. What? And he was talking about how crazy expensive it actually is because a lot of people, a lot of these uh, you know, these uh trust fund babies, these nepo babies, whatever, they want to have all the all the lavish stuff and they go to buy a private jet thinking it's gonna be, oh, it just won't cost me that much. And then there's all these out like uh factors that come into play. Yeah, totally.

Speaker 2: I mean we've talked about campers, for example. Oh, yeah. Uh there's so much cost associated with a camper that you don't think of. Like if you're financing it, you pay for it all year. You have to have it insured all year, and nine months out of the year around here, it's just sitting there collecting dust and snow.

Speaker 3: The salesman was also talking about landing fees.

Speaker 2: I bet.

Speaker 3: When it comes because you have to land at a public airport and you have to pay them to use their space, I feel like, right? Yeah. You can't just all of a sudden land in the middle of the street.

Speaker 2: Yeah, and if you're pulling a camper, your gas mileage is cut probably in half.

Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, because you're towing something. Cuts it way down. Yeah, yeah. And then you're inevitably gonna have to deal with uh, you know, minor repairs and things here and there. Uh also potentially storage. If you don't have an RV pad at your house, you gotta store it somewhere during the winter. Some of those dump stations charge money where you gotta go dump the dookie. Imagine owning a boat.

Speaker 3: Boats, uh you have to dock that thing somewhere, you have to pay the certain amount per month to have that there.

Speaker 2: Yeah, licensing them too. You do have to um your camper, you have to license it just like uh your your vehicle.

Speaker 3: Makes sense because it's another car in itself.

Speaker 2: And uh yeah, it's the juice wasn't worth the squeeze for me. I was glad we sold it. Um if I can say anything good about the pandemic, they jacked up the prices of the campers because everyone was buying them. I had to do it. So I was able to sell it for the same price I bought it for.

Speaker 3: 2020 was such a great year for me. Like honestly, yeah, I was making the most money I've ever had because I was just working at home with TMZ and pretending that I was working there, but I was also working in and out. All my friends were available there. There was no dumb excuse as to why they couldn't hang out. So we were always online playing games with each other. We were hanging out at restaurants. You know, it was it was uh what what's it called? It was such a fun time, and then of course, you know, it everything went back to normal, which is even better, but now they're all busy with their jobs and stuff, and obviously I don't want to say you know the pandemic was just an overall fun time and be ignorant that way is hilarious. Because people died, of course.

You know, I don't want to I don't want to deal with somebody complaining in the K-Bear group or something like that. Like Peaches says uh the the year that's you know the whole thing.

Speaker 2: No, there was definitely uh nightmarish aspects to uh that whole thing.

Speaker 3: Well, even like the going back to the whole truck thing, too. Like, I don't want to make those people mad that actually own a truck and they use it.

Speaker 2: Yeah, I have one. Peaches called me a D-bag a second ago.

Speaker 3: Okay, everybody settle down. Yeah, because like in all honesty, I was even thinking about it. I'm like, would I need a truck in the future to survive the Idaho weather? You know, to be able to drive without caution, you know, just drive like a tank down the road.

Speaker 2: Now you still it it you have to have it in four-wheel drive, or you're gonna be sliding all over the place. Sure. Um, I prefer driving in a car in the sino.

Speaker 3: But also, like my friend Brian, he has this like Ram 1500, like this whole giant and it I sat behind him and there was tons of room for my legs. And I was like, I might need this just because, well, I'm not the typical tiny dude trying to hop in and out of a truck, you know.

Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3: Something built for people my size.

Speaker 2: It is built for your size. Like I I'm a little tiny guy climbing up. I need to put a step on my truck just like Josh has. I mean, you should see Becca trying to get in my truck. It's like mountain climbing.

Speaker 3: Well, even with uh like uh we were looking at the Mercedes Sprinter vans, and we were like, we go we went to the Mercedes website, and we're me and my friend Crosby were decking it all out with all this different stuff, like mud flaps, and uh the there's an air conditioning unit you can put in the back. Nice. And well, if you try to get the luxury van, they put a wall between the driver and the people in the back just hanging out back there. And so I'm like, it's gonna be like driving the cannonball van. There's no room for me. Oh, you can't put the seat back.

Yeah. Unless I can it's like 120 grand for one of those things. It's like unless I pay even more and get the whole thing custom. Yeah and put the seat all the way back and make it nice and big to support me.

Speaker 2: See, I would definitely buy one of those over something like a sports car or a cyber truck.

Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2: Because you can go sound truck. You know, like they're useful.

Speaker 3: You notice how there's never a family in a cyber truck, it's always a single dude.

Speaker 2: It's always a single dude. And they always want you to see him.

Speaker 3: They're yelling, look at me! I'm not egotistical.

Speaker 2: Oh, dude, there was this guy in Park City, had me busting up. So we're we're driving to uh downtown. I guess I guess you could call it downtown, the main part of Park City. It's pretty small. And this guy in this Corvette pulls up in front of us, right? So boy. Really, really fancy Corvette.

Speaker 3: Um is it Ben from the Advocacy?

Speaker 2: That's what I asked him first. I'm like, Ben? Ben? No, it was this this old real old guy. And uh, so he pulls in front in front of us, and he's got some kind of automated um top. So all of a sudden, the top lifts up. All right, Batman. You know, and it kind of did look like a Batmobile. Top lifts up and then it like moves back and slides down, and now he's kind of half convertible. It's like the T tops were electronic, and I see him adjust his rear view mirror to look right up at my eyes, and he looks me direct in the face to make sure I was checking out his Corvette.

Speaker 3: Is like that kind of guy. Okay, he's gonna have the fancy car for no reason. Like his wife's gone, you know, he's by himself now. Let me make my next love a car.

Speaker 2: Yeah, let me tell all you guys out there something. Sports cars, the only people impressed by them.

Speaker 3: Or crazy Carl.

Speaker 2: Crazy Carl. Other dudes. Yeah, other dudes, yeah. Go to the car shows that crazy carl has all the time. There ain't a chick in sight.

Speaker 3: Well, it's like when you get buff, who's gonna appreciate your physique more? Other dudes.

Speaker 2: Other dudes who get buffed. Yeah. Who is impressed by your amazing riffage and guitar playing? Other dudes who play guitar.

Speaker 3: Now, if you read a book, take care of plants, uh scrapbook.

Speaker 2: You know, and or if you're a singer, there you go. Girls might like that.

Speaker 3: They might like the singer. I wish I could sing. That's the one thing, man. Oh, dude.

Speaker 2: You should see the ladies when I'm out at karaoke night and I start screaming and yelling. The whole venue just swooning. Oh, yeah. Oh my gosh!

Speaker 3: They're just Ripping their tops off right there at the bar.

Speaker 2: It's just madhouse. Becca's just punching left and right. Stay away from my mad.

Speaker 1: The noon hour of madness and mayhem. There's a production of River Band Media Group. For more information or to contact the show. Visit RiverBand Media Group.com.