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How to stop doubting yourself and trust the f**k up - a podcast about unbecoming all the things you thought you needed to be. Here’s to loving all parts of you & leaving NONE of you behind.
Fallon: [00:00:00] Hello. Welcome back to I saw the sign. I'm Fallon J and I'm always with the beautiful Abbey Hamble. And we are talking today about how the universe Shows up for you, even when it feels like everything is falling apart and Abby and I have experienced [00:01:00] this in more ways than one. And I'm sure that all of you have too.
And so we're excited to share our own experience as well as ways that maybe we can help you shift perspective if you're in the falling apart. And the first thing I want to really open with is what if we can look at the falling apart. As the support and what, like that, that is actually the way the universe begins to support us is by things feeling chaotic or like it's all crumbling around you because there's something that you've asked for, whether you realize it or not, that you're in the process of receiving and it's just.
Is has to kind of sometimes burn down to rebuild and also it might just be a little ways. It doesn't always have to be this huge life overhaul and change, but it can be a little ways that it's like, you're having a really rough week or. Abby recently had something that she'll share that was like, really stressful for a good week or 2 and then it all ended [00:02:00] up working out beautifully.
Abby: Um, yes, I can share about that. And the thing that came up is actually, you know, kind of a call back to an episode we had maybe five or six episodes ago about like, these are the moments where you have to hold the belief that everything is actually working out for you and what if it's all perfect and it's all working out in my favor, because there were many times when this experience was happening in the last few weeks where I was like, Is this working out for me?
Cause this feels really fucked up.
Fallon: Yeah. How is this happening for me again? I guess I doesn't feel like any of this is for me.
Abby: So if you find yourself in those moments, or if you find yourself during that particular episode being like, yeah, okay, well, maybe you haven't really experienced some shit because I don't know how you can recalibrate your mindset to this is all working out perfectly when it feels like there are real things that are [00:03:00] happening to you that are.
Really scary or really frustrating or just really like throwing everything out of, out of scope. And for me, this, the situation that happened, I mean, there were, this wasn't even the only one
Fallon: I was like, where do we,
Abby: few of them.
Fallon: begin? What do we draw from?
Abby: I know I'm like, honestly, June, it was literally like, there was just something every week that felt catastrophic in different ways. Um, but one in particular that was very, um, was really, really frustrating, particularly because I'm, you know, at the time that was 30 weeks pregnant. Now I'm 33 weeks pregnant and, um, we found out, I found out because I was, I went into our health insurance and I was going to, um, I was checking just, you know, a normal check of health insurance.
Cause I was going to file some international health [00:04:00] claims because we had, you know, seen the doctor when I first found out I was pregnant, we were in the UK and then we were in Switzerland and a few other things. And so we'd had a few different doctors appointments. And I noticed that it said that my coverage had ended and I was like, Hmm, that's weird because my coverage should not have ended and I'm going to need that health insurance.
Fallon: pregnant.
Abby: Yeah, still pregnant going to need that health insurance and, um, and it turns out after, you know, calling them doing some research that there was a basically a, I mean, a really, what do I even want to say? Just like, just a mistake and that there was a credit, the credit card that was tied to the health insurance we had, um.
I think they'd send us the wrong credit card in the mail. And then when we, when we had requested an update to it, they sent us 1, but it had a different number. And [00:05:00] I didn't realize that that was the credit card that was attached to our health insurance. And because it had a different number, it, you know, seems like it was an invalid payment and payment never went through and, um, and we didn't know because they didn't.
They don't send you anything, you know, and like in a message center online, they just send it to you, uh, paper mail and. Since we are
Fallon: Nomads.
Abby: nomadic nomadic travelers, we have a post mailbox that things get sent to, um, or personal mailbox and we get like all of our mail scanned and stuff. And we hadn't seen anything that was scanned.
We only got a notification afterward in June that we saw later that said, oh, by the way, your health insurance was canceled. But this was like, during a time that we. We had traveled from, we were in Florida and then we were in California and then we were settling in and Michigan. So we were just kind of all over the place and weren't on top of it.
And just [00:06:00] assumed that because that credit card was attached to health insurance, everything was getting paid. Everything was good. And it wasn't. And they, um, were not like, They were like, it's, you know, you only get 30 days. It's been past 30 days. And so we cannot reinstate your health insurance. And so my husband called, um, and meanwhile, I'm freaking out because I'm like, How, how can we not like, shouldn't they want to just continue receiving our money?
Can't they just give us
Fallon: And they just reinstate us and
Abby: a crazy fee? Like, I'll pay a 1000 dollars because we forgot to pay 1 month or like, whatever. Just just let us continue paying you. You know, this feels like how it should be.
Fallon: take my money. I will give it to you
Abby: yeah, I will. I you happily and I will put in several payment options next time. In case the 1st 1, you know, there's something wrong with it.
Um, [00:07:00] and. Yeah. Yeah, and we just, we kept trying to figure it out and they were just like, no, we can't reinstate it. And it was even, it was interesting too, because my husband, he called the billing department, like, the day we found out and they were like, okay, yeah, we can accept the payment. We'll, you know, we'll cover.
You know, May and June or whatever, it looks like that hasn't been paid. And so he called and paid it and then they reached back out to us the following Monday and they were like, oh, actually, no, we can't accept that payment. So we're going to reverse those charges. No, it's just like, come on. Can you
Fallon: It was like very much a dance. They kept having, they should be like, okay, I think it's going to be reinstated. I think we're good. And then I think we were on a call and you're like, what the hell? We're not like we lost it again. And remember the whole time I was like, it's gonna work out. I could feel it for you when you're in Oh man.
It's so stressful.
Abby: well, and, and the thing too, I want to bring to light is that I kept [00:08:00] getting signs. It's like, I would ask, you know, it was like praying. I was, um, writing. I would get signs like things are going to work out. It's going to be fine. And, but it did not seem like things were going to be fine.
Fallon: It did not for there was, there was a minute we were like,
Abby: And, yeah, and so it's like, we did what anybody would do, which was we're like, okay, well, if this is not going to happen, we need to kind of resign ourselves to it and and come up with another plan. And so we came up with another plan and we were prepared to go through with that plan, even though it wasn't what we would have wanted, but we were like, okay, well, maybe Maybe the thing, like maybe the reason this happened is because we need to, like, there's a reason that we need to have more, um, you know, eyes in these areas, like eyes on our finances, eyes on, you know, the things that really matter and making sure to making sure that like our house is in order before we are [00:09:00] bringing a child into the world and before life gets even more chaotic and, and it also forced, you know, my husband and To have some very uncomfortable conversations that, you know, maybe we'd been avoiding having, or just not even avoiding consciously.
But I think just with so many different things going on other, like I said, June, June was a crazy month. There were many things going on in many different areas that it was just like, The universe was like forcing us to sit down and talk through some things that we really needed to get squared away. And now looking back on that, I feel grateful because now I feel like we're in a really good spot and we feel very, you know, set up and for a successful future and all of that.
Um, but the thing that ended up changing. So the way the universe kind of swooped in at the last moment here is that we were, um, We kind of given up all hope and then, and then my [00:10:00] husband was just like, you know, why don't we just reach back out to the billing department and tell them that, you know, we had a few different things that had impacted, you know, the, the payment and, and just tell them, like, we're dealing with this thing, these family things that are going on, this is going on here and, and work things that are happening.
And also you're 30 weeks pregnant and we need that insurance.
Fallon: yeah.
Abby: And so we've just like laid it out and said like all of the different crazy shit that has been going on. And I was just, and I sent it and, um, And I was just like, please, God, let there be somebody human who is on the other side of this email who reads it and is like, oh, yeah, there has been a lot going on.
They've been, they've been going through some crazy shit. Maybe we should.
Fallon: they've been in it.
Abby: Yeah. Maybe we should help them out a little bit. [00:11:00] And. I, we went to bed that night and we're like, you know, sent it off. We were at dinner. We sent, sent off that email. And then the next morning, you know, I woke up at 5 AM to pee, you know, because pregnant and, and I just, again, like pray, like, please God, let somebody human, you know, with a heart read this email and, and, uh, reinstate our insurance.
And. I, then I, we got up at nine, I got an email and it was like, due to the, you know, the hardship that you've been experiencing here is, uh, we've decided to do a one time reinstatement. And I was like,
Fallon: Ah, exhale. Yeah,
Abby: Like never been so relieved in my life. And I just, it's like, I told my husband and we were both like, thank God.
Fallon: yeah,
Abby: Yeah.
Fallon: yeah there I mean I have so many stories, right, one of mine is when [00:12:00] I moved into this house we ended up having to do a lot of unexpected work. We ended up having to do a full renovation, basically in 30, 40 days that we didn't know. And every time we would mess with the pipes in this house, they would snap and break and it would start to flood.
And so we didn't, this house didn't have a turnoff valve. Like, that was, it was only accessed by the water company and they have a key and everything. So I remember sitting with the house. And I'm like, what, like, because it kept setting us back and my daughter and I needed to move in. And I remember sitting with the house and I just got the feeling of, like, I'm trying to show you everything that's wrong so that you can be set up and be safe.
For like, when you guys are moved in and I was like, oh, thank you, you know, and so, because it was frustrating, like the, you know, I had friends taking time out of their schedules to help me and Nova get into this house. And I felt awful, obviously, it was all out of my [00:13:00] control and it just felt like, why? And I mean, and before all of that, I had gone through so much.
You know, with the separation and like, I mean, there's just a whole other story there. And it was like, why, why can't anything just feel like it's going right? And it was going right. It was doing the things that were happening were exactly what needed to happen to make sure that we were. Fully supported and safe and sound and my prayer for this house was a healing sanctuary and updated and and I got all of that.
It's just that the process to get there was. Felt heavy sometimes. Um, two. And then another example I have even more recently is, is going through some heavy stuff with my daughter's father and he's got a lot of anger issues and you know, she had to witness that. And then within 24 hours and I was like, why does this keep happening?
Like this feels so unfair for her. I can navigate this. This feels so unfair for her. And then within 24 hours or less than there was another really beautiful masculine example for that was, [00:14:00] And me, that was so opposite, that was just really kind and giving and a good friend and I was like, Oh, you know, so I also share that because a lot of times we can get stuck in that, like the, this is happening to me, but if we can stay open to the universe is going to show you evidence of the opposite being true.
Right. Or, or the opposite coming or something that feels lighter coming, but man, not falling apart or that being in it. It's hard to hold those beliefs sometimes. And, and I want to remind you to don't make, don't make it the fact that it's hard to hold the belief. Don't make that mean that it still can't happen.
Does that make sense? Yeah.
Abby: Yeah, it reminds me of something. Um, Amanda Francis says, which is she's always like, it's not faith until it looks like it's not going to happen. And you [00:15:00] still believe and. I mean, I can attest to that in this, I mean, in many circumstances, but even in this one, where I was like, I keep getting signs that everything's going to work out fine.
And I really hope that it does, but I'm also preparing for it not to work out that way. And, you know, and in the meantime, we're just going to do what we can do. And a lot of times that's what we have to do. It's like, just because it's not just getting, getting stuck in like holding on to the belief and. And not continuing to move forward or like being paralyzed in the, in the not knowing or in the fear, it's still, you know, holding the, the beliefs, but, but continuing to move forward, continuing to take steps, continuing to believe that things are going to work out. And maybe they're going to work out in a way that you don't expect, and you can't even imagine that you can't have foreseen.
And that's, I mean, I feel [00:16:00] like how it always happens.
Fallon: Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. And it's okay to feel your emotions around it and. Not making feeling negative or pissed or whatever. You know, quote unquote negative. I don't really believe that they are negative, but like, not like not avoiding those because you're afraid that if you don't stay in a positive vibrational state, that the good things can't come.
Like, what if feeling those is the opening, right? The release of those, the movement of those to create more space in your body, in your life for that shift, but. But also it's okay, like if you are really clinging to faith, I know I've been there. I mean, sometimes I still go there. I mean, I'm, we're probably always going to find pockets in our life that we do that.
I'm like, is this ever really going to work the way that I pray and envision and dream of?
Abby: Right. And I want to remind you too, that, you know, we are, we are [00:17:00] spirits, you know, that are here to have a human experience. And so it's almost like the angels are up there. I can picture the angels up there being like, listen, you wanted to come down and see what it was all about. So like, here you go, you're, you're getting the full spectrum of emotions and, and it's a beautiful thing.
And sometimes an ugly thing. And it swings all the way, you know, both ways and you get to feel all of it. And that is just part of being human. And sometimes it sucks. And sometimes it's the most beautiful thing there could be.
Fallon: Yes. Yeah. And so, you know, if you're, if things are feeling like they're falling apart, even a little bit or even a lot, and you feel like, like, I think one of the ways in which things fell apart for me is I lost a lot of people. You know, that's what it feels like. And in that though. I have the blessing was really deep in [00:18:00] friendships with, like, you.
Right, like, the friendships really deepened and so I've got some really, like, ride or die people in my life, not a ton and that's perfect. So where in your life does it feel like things are. We said, like, falling apart, like, shit, everything's crumbling. Maybe it's just in this week. Just remember that something better is coming.
It really is. And like Amanda Francis says, the better it gets, the better it gets.
Abby: Well, and a lot of times it is, universe is just, it's clearing the path. You know, it's getting the garbage out of the way that actually isn't needed in your life, or it's getting the, you know, maybe it's like you said, the people you're losing. It seems like you're losing people, but really you're losing maybe some of the weight that's holding you down, or it's stopping you from evolving, or, you know, or maybe it's clearing some of the things out of your life that have been keeping you [00:19:00] stagnant and keeping you stuck.
And it's, and it kind of forces that propels you to move in a direction that feels probably uncomfortable at the time. And then you look back and you're like, oh God, well, if that hadn't happened, then who would I be?
Fallon: Yeah. Yeah. And remember that the discomfort is sensations in your body. The anxiety, the not knowing. Something I often remind myself is like, these are sensations. Things actually, like everything's going to be okay, but these are sensations and can I sit with the discomfort, the sensations in my body that I, is not my favorite.
And also when you, when things are crumbling, you're entering into what I would consider a new timeline, a new territory, a new life, and your body is not going to be familiar. It's just like when you move into a new house, you don't really know what the creaks in the floors. You don't know where those are at.
You don't know if all the lights, what ones flicker at night. Like. And this is, this is what's beautiful is because you're moving into a brand new quote unquote house in your life and your body's feeling that. And it's just the unknown. So it's just [00:20:00] using like Abby's faster, the faster tapping, faster EFT, um, you know, we're big fans of journaling.
We're big fans of like breathwork and meditation and talking and venting to friends. So utilize those tools. But remember in your body, you're just leaving a comfort zone. And that's a really courageous, beautiful thing. And you're probably being forced to leave it a little bit because the universe is like, Hey sister, you've been ready and you've been kind of avoiding, so we've gotta mix some shit up to get some fire under you so that we can get you to where we need you.
Abby: Definitely. I feel like that for me, for sure. Like with many of the things that happened, it was just like, okay, it's time for you to focus on these things. And it's time for you to stop thinking about these things too much, or stop getting caught in the drama of these things too much or whatever. It's like thunderclap
Fallon: Yep.
Abby: time to look forward in a different direction now
Fallon: Yeah. Yeah.
Abby: other shit to do.
Fallon: Important [00:21:00] shit. And not that the other stuff wasn't, but it's just not where you're needed anymore. What you need to be focused on anymore.
Abby: exactly. So listeners, if you're feeling like you're in the thick. Of the shit we've all been there.
Fallon: And you're being fertilized.
Abby: You're being fertilized. Shit is the best fertilizer.
Fallon: Yep. You're being fertilized.
Abby: Yeah, Scott. I mean, the more shit, the bigger the flowers grow.
Fallon: Yeah.
Abby: So we're here for you. If you're going through it, remember, like Fallon said, you have the tools, you have the things that you can do. You have people in your life. If you don't have people in your life, you always have us. You can always reach out to us, let us know what's going on and we will be there to encourage you.
Fallon: Yep. Encourage and hold space and root you on and hold the vision.
Abby: Exactly.
Fallon: Amazing.
Abby: Well, we love you.
Fallon: So much. Have a beautiful week and we'll, we'll see you [00:22:00] next week.
Abby: See you next week.