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What is Beyond Your Default?
What Is Beyond Your Default? "Everyone keeps telling me I should be happy, but I'm not." “I feel stuck.” “I have a calling, but where do I start?"
Right now, you have a choice. You can continue living within your default norms, playing it safe, clocking in and out every day, and scraping by to achieve what's supposed to make you happy hopefully. Or you can choose to accept the challenge of living beyond your default. Stop wishing to live your "best life” and start living your best life. Success leaves clues. And they're waiting for you to discover them.
I really try to take a beat, take a minute because I need to understand my intentions. What are my intentions? Like, before speaking, I I like to ask myself, why do I need to be honest? Is it to help the other person clear the air? Or am I just trying to unburden myself?
George B. Thomas:Is this a selfish act of honesty? Or is it to better the situation that we're in? Like, I need to be sure of my intentions, and I need to be sure that my intentions are good, and that they're guiding me in a way to deliver my honesty in a way that's compassionate versus, like, just crashing in their brain and causing chaos.
Liz Moorhead:Welcome back to Beyond Your Default. I'm your host, Liz Moorehead. And as always, I'm joined by the best man there is, at least in my eyes, George b Thomas. How you doing, buddy?
George B. Thomas:I'm doing good. How are you doing today, Liz?
Liz Moorhead:Fantastic. Let's go right into our highlights and lowlights for the weekend. So highlight, I am actually coming to you live from scenic, cosmopolitan, Wallingford, Connecticut. Some call it the Paris of Connecticut. Wallingford itself, isn't that exciting?
Liz Moorhead:No. But I had a really great weekend seeing a lot of friends. Had some really good healthy discussions about honesty, which makes me excited about today's conversation. But overall, it was that perfect blend of meaningful time with people. And then what I like to lovingly call potato time, which is Liz time, me time, fill my cup time.
Liz Moorhead:And it felt freaking amazing. I felt like I got that perfect balance. And I always get nervous during weekends when I travel because so much of it is taken up by, you know, I'm driving up here and then I'm driving back. You know, there's so much back and forth there. But overall, it was just a freaking fantastic weekend and only got 1 rage response to this weekend's newsletter, beyondre default.comforward/newsletter, which was from my friend Derek, which is please stop personally attacking me.
Liz Moorhead:Also, don't stop personally attacking me. So that's great. You know, we're growing. We're thriving by force together. Low light.
Liz Moorhead:As we're recording this, George, I regret to inform you, it is the 1st day of the 7th month of 2024. The first day, where is this year going?
George B. Thomas:Bye bye.
Liz Moorhead:Alright. What are your highlights and lowlights from the weekend?
George B. Thomas:My highlight is that our air conditioning works because we were out for, like, I don't know, 3 or 4 days of the previous week. I would say because it wasn't, like, hot as all get out here, I actually rearranged my office. So couple of things about that to make it awesome. I was able to move my desk to a new location. I did that so that I could get my walking treadmill underneath me 80% of the time instead of, like well, let's be honest.
George B. Thomas:0% of the time. I was also to add another monitor, which is cool, but I did this 1 in portrait mode. So now over to the far right, I can slide Slack and, like, Spotify.
Liz Moorhead:Monitors do you have at this point? Is it just a wall of monitors like you see series?
George B. Thomas:No. So I've got 2 24 inch Samsung slightly curved monitors up top. My teleprompter is actually also an Elgato, like, monitor teleprompter, so that could be considered a monitor. And then I have, I think it's 32 or 36 inch. I think that's Samsung too.
George B. Thomas:Like No.
Liz Moorhead:Like the Dominic Toretto of, like, home office hardware.
George B. Thomas:Yeah. Exactly.
Liz Moorhead:I got 24 inch rim monitors. Like
George B. Thomas:Yep. It's like so, anyway, the nerd got nerdier, and I love it because, like, I have everything set how I want. I've got, like, a different desk that people can come and sit in. So that was the the highlight. The low light was when you move equipment around, things start to happen.
George B. Thomas:2 interesting things happened to me this morning. 1, my walking treadmill started to make a really weird sound, which I'm hoping it just means that I need to oil it, hopefully. Otherwise, it's like, I did all of this to now have to buy another walking treadmill, which would suck. So we'll see. But then also, we started to record this, and the audio was all sorts of kinda wonky.
George B. Thomas:But that hey. When you unplug everything and plug everything back in, you're just kinda praying that it works the first time out.
Liz Moorhead:See, that's why when IT is, like, have you tried turning it off and back on again? Sir, that that could create more problems. Are we sure we wanna do that? So this week, we are having the second part of our discussion about honesty today. Last episode, we started with a conversation around self deception and honesty with them.
Liz Moorhead:This week, it's a bit of a horse of a different color. Right? This week, we're going the other direction. Right? We're talking about integrity and honesty without.
Liz Moorhead:So, whether that's in our personal relationships or our professional relationships. I told you this before we got on today. And I mentioned for those who listened to last week's episode, I mentioned that conversations on recent episodes had led me to reach out to have a discussion with someone I'm very close with. To clear the air, let's get honest. Let's have a truth party.
Liz Moorhead:Everyone's invited. Participation is mandatory. Let's have a good time. And so when I was thinking about preparation for today's episode, I've gotta be honest, George. Honesty as a topic.
Liz Moorhead:I think all of us as adults get you know, being honest and telling the truth like, this is stuff we teach our kids. Right? I was surprised coming out of this weekend how much more of a nuanced topic honesty actually is. Because I think we want honesty in our relationships to be so much more straightforward than sometimes it actually is. Because I don't think any of us really wants to admit that sometimes our relationship with the truth can be a little soft around the edges, but not because we're unmitigated buttheads and we're liars and we're, you know, we're intentionally obfuscating the truth from people we care about.
Liz Moorhead:But I'm very interested about where we are going to go into today's discussion. And I want our listeners to go into this conversation today with an open mind because I think 1 of the things that's gonna be tricky about this conversation is that honesty is a much more nuanced topic than I think we give it credit for. And I think the reason why we have an aversion to this topic, particularly within ourselves and how we treat honesty with other people is because we're worried what it says about our character when we are not as honest or acting with as much integrity as we believe we should be. That's where my brain is at going into today's conversation. Before we go into today's conversation, George, with our first question, I saw you nodding along.
George B. Thomas:Yeah. I mean, listen. This is why we had the first conversation before this conversation because if you're lying to yourself, if you're deceiving yourself, then it becomes really easy to live a life where you're doing it externally as well. So you almost have to take care of the internal issues first so that you can focus on the external piece next. And here's the thing.
George B. Thomas:This topic and a lot of the other topics that we have talked about, many of us say the words and maybe think about the words, but don't think about the implementation, like, from a very tactical micro strategic standpoint. And that's what I love about this podcast is it gives us the opportunity to actually dive in to these in a very intimate way. So I'm just agreeing with a lot of what you're saying, a lot of what you're finding and believing. And hopefully, after the first episode in this episode, we'll have a lot of the listeners where they'll be very much the same of, okay. Yeah.
George B. Thomas:That was a thing that I need to pay attention to more.
Liz Moorhead:I love what you pointed out there that if you have a flexible or challenged relationship with honesty within yourself, without. And that's why that phrase exists, right? As within, so without. Or if I want to get more literal or more visual with what that relationship can look like. I know that my living space tends to be messier when internally, psychologically, I feel more confused or upset.
Liz Moorhead:Like, my dysfunction in my head, if I don't feel like I have a good handle on things, will manifest in my living spaces. And then it is just a self perpetuating cycle. Right? I'm messy in my head, so I'm messy in my life. And I'm messy in my life, which makes me feel messier in my head.
Liz Moorhead:And it's just boop, boop. It's like a little it's a little horrible tennis match. But let's start today's conversation with talking about George, why this conversation actually matters. And I mentioned this at the start. Right?
Liz Moorhead:We're adults listening to this. We're adults. We know honesty is important. I bet some of you listening have kids, and you talk about why honesty is important with them. So do you really think that this is a topic that warrants an entire dedicated conversation if it's that straightforward?
George B. Thomas:First of all, Liz, I have to kind of give a fair warning of my own for today's conversation because I need to dive into some quotes and scriptures to kind of set the foundation to help emphasize the important parts of today's conversation. So along the way, you're gonna hear me, like, just beep, blop, boop. I'm gonna just drop these things as far as, like, quotes and scripture and thoughts to kind of mold them or meld them together. So with that out of the way, like, let's have this conversation of why honesty truly matters. And, again, we all know honesty is important, and we usually learn this life lesson early on.
George B. Thomas:But it's it's easy to miss how much it impacts our lives, our relationships, and our well-being. And honesty is the cornerstone of all success without confidence and ability or the agility to perform shall cease to exist. By the way, that's a quote piece that I want everybody to understand by Mary k Ash that honesty is the cornerstone of all success, and without which confidence and ability to perform shall cease to exist. Now you should jot that down in your notepad because you need to read that sucker, like, 2, 3, maybe 4 times and act and let it marinate in your brain a little bit. But first, being honest with others builds trust, and it strengthens relationships.
George B. Thomas:And trust is the foundation of any meaningful connection that we're ever gonna have, whether with friends, family, colleagues, partners. It just doesn't matter. Trust is necessary for relationships, which, by the way, all of us humans are in to not be shaky and doubtful. You have to have trust. And I don't know about you, but if you've ever had a relationship where it's shaky and doubtful, you're like, this is not where I wanna be or who I wanna be here with.
George B. Thomas:And so by focusing on honesty, we kind of build trust and create a deeper, more reliable connection to those humans that we're actually trying to take this journey on in life. Now there's a Proverbs that I love, and it's Proverbs 1628. And it says, a dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends. Again, 1 that you have to probably read a couple times before it sinks in and you get it, but a dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisper separates close friends. Do you wanna be any of that?
George B. Thomas:Well, the opposite of that obviously is being an honest man or an honest woman. And when you're honest, you invite others around you to do the same, by the way. This mutual honesty can strengthen your relationships, making them more resilient and meaningful. And again, I don't know about you listeners, but if I'm gonna have a relationship with somebody, if I'm gonna take time to invest myself in them, for them, around them, I I want there to be some kind of meaning. And so sharing your thoughts and feelings even when it's uncomfortable can bring you closer to others.
George B. Thomas:And this conversation shows how honesty that we're having today shows that how honesty can improve your interactions and build stronger bonds. So the other thing that comes to mind, Liz, when I think about honesty with others, is it encourages a keyword. And I'm trying to remember if you we've actually done a podcast episode specific to this word, but it's a very important word, and that's accountability. It's about taking responsibility for your actions, owning up to your mistakes, and actually learning from them. And this sense of accountability is crucial for personal life, but definitely professional life.
George B. Thomas:And let's just add on this layer of personal and professional growth. And when you're honest, you hold yourself to a higher standard. Listen. If you're on a journey for this life beyond your default, you're probably gonna have to hold yourself up to a higher standard in multiple different areas that we've talked about on this podcast, but honesty is definitely 1 of them. And when you can do this, when you can hold yourself to a higher standard, I think it leads to greater success and a keyword here, satisfaction in all the areas of your life.
George B. Thomas:And what I mean all the areas, let's just start with the superhuman framework. Like, if you're looking at the superhuman framework and you wanna have satisfaction and success in all of those areas, then honesty is a key component. But, you know, there's even more. Like, honesty also means bringing truth with yourself. This conversation encourages us, you, to reflect on your actions, motivations, and mistakes.
George B. Thomas:Listeners, I need you to do something for me this week. I need you to sit down for a hot 5 to 7 minutes, and I want you to reflect on your weekly actions, maybe your weekly or monthly motivations and the mistakes that you've made along the way, because it's only when we start to pay attention to those mistakes can we make changes and start to live life different. But this self awareness is crucial for personal growth, and that's what we're here for. We're literally trying to grow to be the best humans we can be. And when you're honest with yourself, you can identify areas for improvement and take steps to become a better version of yourself.
George B. Thomas:And like we talked about last week, when you're honest with yourself, it leads into today's conversation that I kind of alluded to a little bit ago, and that is when you take care of the trash inside, you're not necessarily depositing so much trash outside, like, in and out. And so this leads me to a really, big word that we'll probably end up talking about quite a bit in this episode, but it also brings forth 2 really dope quotes. The first quote is from CS Lewis, and it goes, integrity is doing the right thing even when no 1 is watching. And boy, oh, boy. Like, even when no one's watching, which I live a life where I I feel like there's always somebody watching, but there are times when there isn't anybody watching, and so doing that right thing no matter what.
George B. Thomas:The second quote that I'm gonna throw in here because it's very like, these pair, they almost feel the same, but they're from entirely different humans. And so the second 1 is from Oprah Winfrey, which by if you've listened to this podcast for any length of time, you know that I love me some Oprah Winfrey, especially her Super Soul Sunday, I think, is the name of the pod oh my gosh. Anyway, if you haven't checked that out, it's super dope. But her quote goes, real integrity is doing the right thing knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not. Now, see, there's a difference in those 2.
George B. Thomas:1 is that no one's watching, and the other 1 is no 1 knowing. And if you think about watching and knowing and actually doing the right thing in both situations and how honesty plays a part in that, now we start to get into this level of integrity. Like, in a world where social media often promotes curated and sometimes deceptive versions of reality, like, it's everybody's freaking highlight. Staying true to yourself is more important than ever, because it's real easy to kinda get sucked in. And this conversation that we're having today on honesty, I think, hopefully, it'll encourage you, the listener, Liz, you, me as well, like all of us, it'll encourage us to embrace authenticity.
George B. Thomas:Because by being genuine, like, you can form meaningful connections and lead a life that reflects who you truly are. We've talked about the whole ass human concept quite a few times on this podcast, but honesty is a big part of that. It it it creates or cultivates or generates whatever words you wanna throw in there, this positive environment. Like, when you start to layer the things that I'm saying, you end up with this, like, kind of positive environment where honesty is a core value. It creates a positive and supportive atmosphere at home, work, or your community, the places where you hang out.
George B. Thomas:And promoting honesty encourages others to act with integrity, creating a more, I don't know, harmonious maybe, productive maybe. Again, you can kinda insert the word that you want, environment. But I'll kind of say I'm gonna go into the scripture, here. I was I was questioning myself if I wanted to go this far into the scriptures, but I wanna hit here, Liz, Galatians 52223. Because I could have answered your question with this, by the way.
George B. Thomas:Because when you think about honesty, these other words might come to mind or might have a relationship. So Galatians 52223, but the fruits of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Boy, I can think about how honesty actually has a lot to do with the fruits of the spirit. Personal fact. Yeah.
George B. Thomas:And this by the way, these might be a really great framework for how you try to show up and how you try to be. So, like, listen, dedicating a conversation to honesty is not just justified. It's essential for any of us trying to live our best life, and especially for anyone who's trying to live a life beyond their default state. And so before the next question that you ask me, I want to give 1 more scripture. And by the way, I warned everybody, like, today was gonna be a scripture in court.
Liz Moorhead:Need to stop apologizing for that. You know, you just need to show up on the mic and do what you do because this is what we do.
George B. Thomas:This is what we do. So Philippians 48 goes like this. It says, finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. So when you hear, like, truth and noble and pure, like, again, these are words that align or are part of or I just go to the yes. Honesty is a big freaking conversation.
George B. Thomas:2 episodes so far. Could probably be 2, if not more, but it's definitely worth taking the time to have this conversation so that we, as the host, and you as the listener, can actually unpack this junk and either say, hey. I'm doing a great job or go, oh, whoops.
Liz Moorhead:Well, that wrap that wraps up the podcast, guys. Thanks everybody for listening. I think we had all the high notes, and we don't have to ask each other any uncomfortable questions now going forward, do we, George? Just that's for
George B. Thomas:good. Is gonna work.
Liz Moorhead:No, it's not gonna work because, you know, let's go back to episode 42, the superhuman framework, which outlines the 10 pillars for living a life beyond your default. 1 of them being honesty, which is why we are here having this discussion. You touched upon it there, but then you just brought it up again in going through why this conversation matters. And this is where we start to drill in to trust and credibility in relationships because you mentioned that being honest, the it builds trust and credibility in relationships. But I'd love to hear from you about a time when being honest with someone helped you strengthen your relationship with them?
Liz Moorhead:Like, what does that actually look like in practice?
George B. Thomas:I hated this question, by the way. But
Liz Moorhead:You always get 1 or 2 that you hate, and that's fine. Means I'm doing my job.
George B. Thomas:So, Liz, this is for me, this was a difficult conversation that I have to have because of the question you asked, but I'm I'm willing to share it. As people may or may not have realized by listening to this podcast, I have 2 sets of parents. I have 2 moms. I have 2 dads. Now that comes with a whole set of its own difficulties, but when you move 24 100 miles away from 1 set of your parents by the age of 3 years old, there's bound to be some issues that arise.
George B. Thomas:Now I'm gonna try to transport us back in time for a minute, but I do want to share with the listeners that I have a great relationship with all my parents right now. So things have worked out, and we're in a better place. But with that said, in an effort to answer your question, it wasn't always that way. And so, this has been 10, 12, maybe 13, or 14. Wow.
George B. Thomas:Time flies. Anyway, we'll say 14 years ago. It could have been a little bit longer, a little bit less. Nevertheless, we, my wife and I, were in Idaho, and we are up in the mountains of Idaho, and we are having a kind of special service for her father. Her father had passed away.
George B. Thomas:And, we are coming off the mountain, and all of a sudden, our phones just started blowing up, her phone, my phone. And we're like, okay. That's kinda crazy, but it's not crazy because you don't have cell service in the mountains of Idaho. But when you come down to where, like, normal folks live, that's cool. So come to find out that the same time we were having this service for my wife's father, my grandmother on my father's side passed away.
George B. Thomas:Now my father and I have always had difficulty in seeing eye to eye and believing what was best for me when I was growing up. To be honest with everybody listening to this, it's because we are so much alike. Even though I lived, like, 24 100 miles away from him for most of my life, we are so cut from the same cloth. We're stubborn. We're bullheaded.
George B. Thomas:We have our own beliefs. We love passionately. We're big teddy bears, but we love to hide it. We're just very much the same human. And so, we hadn't talked for years.
George B. Thomas:And come to find out on my grandma's deathbed, she looked at my dad and she said, you need to fix it. It's not his fault. So when I heard my dad say that mom or grandma said that I needed to fix it because it wasn't your fault, I immediately actually was relieved. To be honest with you, I almost felt like somebody finally saw me, And it was almost like she had given him the vision she had, but he hadn't received at that point. And so we had a conversation.
George B. Thomas:Literally, we met at a bar, sat down to have a couple beers because we needed to work this out, and we needed to have a good relationship moving forward. And so where honesty comes into play is he said, listen, I just stayed my distance because I thought it would be best for you. I thought you would just be able to be happy where you're at and with who you were with. And I looked at him, I mean, and I didn't skip a beat. I go, that's not what I needed and not what I wanted.
George B. Thomas:I always wanted you in my life, and I didn't understand why you didn't wanna be there. And just having this moment where we were, like, raw and honest and just had, like, this super cleansing yet dirty conversation of, like, past and future, and we literally ended the conversation with, let's never let this happen again. Let's make sure we always focus on having a good relationship. And since that day, I mean, it's like any human relationship. You laugh, you cry, you struggle sometimes, but we've always come back to, like, no.
George B. Thomas:We're good. We're good because we're not where we once were, and we're not where we once were because we are willing to be honest with each other. I told you this is gonna be a hard conversation. Oh my god.
Liz Moorhead:How does it feel to be honest about it?
George B. Thomas:It feels good. Again, it's part of my life's journey that I don't think I've shared with anybody other than my wife, and now I've literally shared it with whoever in the world that listens to this. And and I guess what I would say too is to the listeners, like, if you have somebody like that in your life, then take the first step. Have the honest conversation if you can, and try to put yourself in a good place. Again, some circumstances, you're not gonna be able to.
George B. Thomas:But if you can and you want to, then quit making excuses and do it.
Liz Moorhead:Can we end the podcast here?
George B. Thomas:We're trying to end this twice now, and we're not even, like, halfway.
Liz Moorhead:We're I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.
Liz Moorhead:I know. Those conversations are always such a challenge, And I've been writing about this a bit in our newsletter because it's it's it's it's where my brain has been recently is thinking about this idea of that frictional internal moment where we know what the truth is, but we're still trying to get ourselves over the hump of saying the quiet part out loud. And that's usually the most friction filled part of the experience. Because when I think about times where I've had to have honest conversations with somebody, man, I would like to listen to Gilbert Godfried read the entire bible start to finish at max volume rather than say out loud anything that is in my heart. Like, I don't I don't wanna don't wanna do it.
Liz Moorhead:Yeah. But when I think about those moments where it has been a payoff, we try to simplify our lives to a point where we create complexity. Because we do not want to confront a truth or we're worried, well, it's just gonna create more problems and more headaches than it's worth. Congratulations. You are now creating the exact headaches, the exact problems that you were trying to avoid.
Liz Moorhead:I had a conversation with a friend of mine this past weekend, and I remember at 1 point, I said to them, I don't know if we're the smartest dumb people or the dumbest smart people alive, because we've had this 1 problem for years to the point where the problem has been something where it's like, well, our friendship or whatever, it's just always so it's so heavy and dramatic. So I showed up and I had notes. I had props. I had laid like I was structured. I'm like, we are, I am not doing this anymore.
Liz Moorhead:And so I laid it out and I walked through. I'm like, so this is this is 1 part of the challenge that I'm seeing. I'm gonna say all the quiet parts out loud. This is the other part, and this is the third part. And then I looked them dead in the eye and said, wow.
Liz Moorhead:I wonder why everything feels so complicated all the time. What could it possibly be? And this is a problem that's been going on for 6 years, George.
George B. Thomas:6
Liz Moorhead:years, because we kept trying to keep it simple. Yeah. It was so funny too because as I was going through this, this is where I think sometimes we get into a challenge of, yes, that level of honesty was so important to us and it genuinely strengthened our friendship. Like we came out of that, like in a much, much better place. I don't think we've ever been closer.
Liz Moorhead:But at the same time, it was almost impossible to have the conversation to begin with. Because I remember leading up to that conversation, I was mad as hell. I was mad. There had been a catalyst moment, where I was like, I can't. Both of us.
Liz Moorhead:We were just like, we're back here again. We're back here in the same spot. We've been just it's been a cycle for years. It keeps happening and it keeps happening and it keeps happening. But what was so funny is that because we had been dishonest for so long, it took me forever to figure out what was actually going on.
Liz Moorhead:It took me a week to even say we need to talk because I don't like going to somebody with a big bag of, like, unprocessed, unproductive emotions and going, hi. I don't know what to do with these. Now, it's your problem. Like, I hate doing that. And then, it took me another week once they agreed to meet with me to figure out what I know we're gonna have a conversation, but what the heck am I actually gonna say?
Liz Moorhead:And then I had to put mental massive amounts of mental brain power behind, well, what is this conversation? What is actually going on? If you spend so much time being dishonest with somebody, you don't think you're being dishonest. You just don't you you compound and compound and compound the issue to the point where it's harder and harder to get out. Every time you are dishonest in a relationship with somebody, you're not saying that quiet part out loud.
Liz Moorhead:Imagine every time you make the choice to keep your mouth shut, you're taking a step back from each other. Yeah. And you're taking a step back, and you're taking a step back. And then 1 day, you look up, and they're a 1000 miles away. And you have no idea how you got there.
George B. Thomas:It's interesting, Liz. As I'm hearing you kinda talk about this, there's a couple of things. 1, you said a couple times, we just wanted to keep it simple.
Liz Moorhead:Mhmm.
George B. Thomas:And when I hear that, what I hear is that we just decided that we're gonna lie to ourselves and to each other.
Liz Moorhead:Oh my god. I have to break in here because you know what I actually pointed out to him? I said, let's pretend for a moment that our friendship is a lamp. Apparently, at some point over the past 6 years, you and I went, let's just tell everybody it's a pony.
George B. Thomas:And here's the funny thing, listeners and Liz. When I think about lies, I always kinda think about lies are like onions. There's layers deep usually. They stink, and at the end, they make you cry anyway.
Liz Moorhead:Damn it, George.
George B. Thomas:Just saying. Next time you go to tell that little white lie, just you're adding a layer.
Liz Moorhead:Well, that's the funny part, though. It doesn't feel like lying sometimes because what was funny is I remember having this conversation and saying, it took me a while to realize we were talking about the wrong problem. We were going circumstance by circumstance and situation by situation. We take turns like, this time you were a jackass. Now it's your turn to apologize.
Liz Moorhead:Now this time, it's my turn to It's a never ending exhausting tennis match. It's exhausting. But that's the key there. Right? If you don't act with honesty from the beginning, these issues compound.
Liz Moorhead:And then it'll get to the point where you don't even realize you're being dishonest anymore because you've lost sight of what's actually going on. So question for you. Can you talk to me about a time you know, we're sitting here lofty, like, just be honest, kittens. That's it. That's all you need to do.
Liz Moorhead:Check that truth box and you're ready to rock. It's not easy. So can you talk to me about a time when maintaining your integrity was particularly challenging in how you navigated it? Oh, you're already smirking. Okay.
George B. Thomas:Do you remember? Before we hit the record button, I told you there's a question I didn't have an answer for, but I'd let you know when we got there. And Okay. I would let you go first so I could actually see if it actually teed anything up. I stared at this question for over because I'd come back to it, stare at it again, and I'd leave it.
George B. Thomas:And I come back, and I'd stare to it again. And I was like, I don't know how to answer this question. I I don't Why? I don't know. Nothing, like, immediately popped to my brain of this
Liz Moorhead:George, you've never had a time where telling the truth felt like giving what you would imagine birth to feel like. You you you've never felt that. You've never felt that there were times where to say the quiet part out loud was a hurdle. It was tough.
George B. Thomas:I mean, maybe I'm having a hard time connecting with this question. But the way that you just said it, I would say, well, probably the first time I got divorced because I literally was like, okay. Nobody wants to say it, but this isn't working, and I can't stay here. And when I mean I can't stay here, like, I can't stay here mentally. I can't stay here physically.
George B. Thomas:I can't stay here relationally. I can't stay here. I have to go. So I said that out loud as my brother pulled up, and I took suitcases of clothes and and headed out. But, yeah, I don't know.
George B. Thomas:I just have a hard time with this question because and maybe it's because of what we'll talk about later. So anyway, you go ahead and then maybe it'll spur something. So, Liz, I'll ask you. Have you had an experience maintaining your integrity was particularly challenging? No?
Liz Moorhead:I've talked about this many times on the podcast. I'm an angel. Yeah. I'm perfect. No.
Liz Moorhead:God, no. In fact, this this whole situation, it cosmically timed. Cosmically timed. I I did not plan this conversation to be podcast fodder. It didn't happen that way.
Liz Moorhead:But the funny thing is is that I think we do not realize that when we are struggling to say the truth that is in our hearts, we don't see it as struggling to maintain our integrity. I think we view challenges with telling the truth and challenges with maintaining our integrity as 2 different things. Right? Because situational moments where you struggle to tell the truth are situational. They're circumstantial.
Liz Moorhead:You find ways to mentally architect reasons why it is challenging. Maintaining your integrity is something that sounds more like it's impugning your character. Right? And we talked about this in the small things episode. How you do small things is how you do all things.
Liz Moorhead:And I think we need to be very careful about the judgment we place on ourselves. And I think we need to be very careful about the judgment we place on ourselves when we find ourselves in the middle of the messy parts of the very human experience, where we have to make those choices to take a risk, to step outside of the norms, to say what is true. I'll give you a perfect example. Leading up to the conversation I had this weekend, we had been getting close to it. And I remember saying to them, when we started the conversation this weekend, you know, it's so funny.
Liz Moorhead:I'm a little surprised that we're here, but I'm not shocked. In a way, this conversation, I think, has been coming for a really, really long time. We had been coming to a head. And I remember as part of some of the conversations leading up to it, I had said exactly why I had struggled to tell the truth before. But I I wrote it in black and white.
Liz Moorhead:In fact, you know what? See if I can find it. I said, I knew for a long time that these were things I had wanted to bring up. I've known it for a very, very long time. However, there has always been a fragility about our connection.
Liz Moorhead:Even though it is also, in a very juxtaposing and almost contradictory way, incredibly strong, stronger than almost any other connection that I have in my life. But I was so afraid of me challenging this area of our connection would be the final straw. This would be the thing that pushed it over the edge friendship. And also, I didn't feel at that point that I was clear on what it is I was even upset about. And I didn't feel at that point that I was clear on what it is I was even upset about.
Liz Moorhead:I didn't know what to say. I knew something was wrong. I could feel it all the time, but I didn't know how to name it, and I didn't know how to say it. And I was afraid that if I came to the table with just nebulous, vague feelings with nothing to actually point to, something would go wrong. That is an example of time where I made a choice not to say something, and then I said that out loud.
Liz Moorhead:That I've I've repeatedly made this choice not to say something. I've repeatedly done that. And to me, that is not telling the truth. Right? That is not being honest.
Liz Moorhead:I wasn't maintaining integrity within the connection until I finally said that quiet part out loud. Right? And this conversation that we ended up having this weekend was exceptionally challenging, but we never fought during it. The room was completely filled with lots of uncomfortable feelings and whatever, But it was harder than I thought it would be, but mostly it was easier than I thought it would be. Because here's the thing, it's not just about whether or not you're willing to tell the truth.
Liz Moorhead:If we're talking about 1 to 1 relationships, you have to ask yourself, do you trust the relationship enough to withstand the truth? And that's usually where most blocks come in.
George B. Thomas:So I wanna be careful, though, because I don't want the listeners to necessarily think that silence is not being honest.
Liz Moorhead:I agree with that.
George B. Thomas:It's because there is a season for everything, and sometimes the season is just to keep your mouth shut. Again, like, listening to you, I think there's a lot of times in my life where something could have been said, but it's not that it necessarily should be said.
Liz Moorhead:I agree with that because I actually said to them after I said, I'm shocked but not surprised. I also said I'm not sure when this conversation could have happened before now, but now is the moment because I completely agree. I completely sometimes you are still in a fact gathering mode. Sometimes you're not sure how you feel about something yet. The you know, we've talked about this in the episode of Radical Acts of Stillness.
Liz Moorhead:Sometimes, the best action is to zip it and to keep quiet. Completely agree.
George B. Thomas:What I'll say is, I don't know if there's anything radically in my brain that was spurred, but I will tell you this. There was a time where I had a conversation with a friend of mine. She was married, still is married, and they were having this interestingly difficult conversation about having another child. I believed in my core that this is what she wanted and that this would probably be a good thing for their family. I just had this feeling.
George B. Thomas:I can't even explain it. And it was a feeling that I couldn't really shake because I tried to, like, it's not my place. I shouldn't be having this conversation with her husband. They can figure it out themselves. But when I see that word integrity and you're asking how did you keep your integrity, how did you navigate it, if I wouldn't have said something, if I wouldn't have had the conversation, I would have probably always wondered, should have I said something?
George B. Thomas:I ended up having a conversation with her husband, and it was heated. And it was in front of well, maybe not heated. He's Italian. I brought it up to Italian level. We were, pretty close to face to face, but we weren't yelling at each other, but we were passionate.
George B. Thomas:We'll call it a passionate conversation. And I I basically was like, in so many words, bro, you need to give her this child. And the fun thing is they have their 3rd child. And the other little fun thing, we jokingly say it, but it's not necessarily exactly why it happened, but this child also has my middle name in their naming convention. So
Liz Moorhead:What?
George B. Thomas:Look. We joke about it, but it's not actually anyway, when I think about, like, how do you navigate a time that was difficult and keep your integrity during the situation, like, I knew there was an issue. I had a conversation. I knew I needed to have another conversation. I didn't know what the outcome because I could've lost both friends forever, or I could say what I felt I was supposed to say.
George B. Thomas:And if it was the right thing in the right way, then we'd still be friends, and the chasm that was being created in their relationship would be gone. So that's the story I'll share around this maintaining my integrity in a particularly challenging moment in life.
Liz Moorhead:How do you handle situations though where being completely honest with someone might hurt their feelings? How do you balance those moments where you wanna be honest, but you wanna have empathy?
George B. Thomas:Warning. Warning. These are gonna be things that I'm consistently working on and many times consistently failing at.
Liz Moorhead:This is the work in progress section of today's conversation.
George B. Thomas:Without a doubt. I mean, I think the older I get, the better I get at this, but I don't want anybody to listen to this part of the podcast and be like, dude's got his stuff together. I know how I wanna have my stuff together. Right? So the first thing that comes to mind is I really try to take a beat, take a minute because I need to understand my intentions.
George B. Thomas:What are my intentions? Like, before speaking, I like to ask myself, why do I need to be honest? Is it to help the other person clear the air, or am I just trying to unburden myself? Is this a selfish act of honesty, or is it to better the situation that we're in? Like, I need to be sure of my intentions, and I need to be sure that my intentions are good and that they're guiding me in a way to deliver my honesty in a way that's compassionate versus, like, just crashing in their brain and causing chaos.
George B. Thomas:So understanding my intentions in even having that conversation or saying that thing. The other thing too is I always try to figure out when I hit that beat, like, am I just supposed to hold back? There are times when full honesty might not be necessarily helpful.
Liz Moorhead:Are you being honest, or are you just being hurtful?
George B. Thomas:If the truth is likely to cause unnecessary pain without any real benefit, it might be a kinder thing to do as a human for me to just hold back and find a more gentle way to address the issue or a better time to address the issue and understanding if they're ready and right. And so, like, understanding, like, I kinda mentioned Ecclesiastes 31. There's a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens. Like, is this the time or not? And so giving myself the space for that, like, maybe maybe not now.
George B. Thomas:Sometimes as honest as you wanna be, Liz, and I mentioned this earlier, there there is just a season to keep your mouth shut. Like, zip it, dude. Just zip it for right now.
Liz Moorhead:Which part of the which part of the Bible is that?
George B. Thomas:Ecclesiastes 31.
Liz Moorhead:Yeah. 'Tis the season to zip it.
George B. Thomas:Yeah. Just season to zip it. The other thing that I'm very much tried to program myself in life in this and then so it, therefore, comes along for the ride on this conversation of honesty is a positive mindset. And so focusing on the positive when I'm skipping that beat to kinda give myself time to think about this. Like, if it's possible, I try to start with something positive.
George B. Thomas:Acknowledging what the person is doing right can make the conversation feel more balanced and less like an attack. For example, I appreciate how much effort you put into this, and I have a suggestion that might help even more. Like, if you're a leader, you've probably heard of the s h space t sandwich. Say something good. Say the constructive criticism.
Liz Moorhead:Compliment sandwich. Yeah.
George B. Thomas:Yeah. The compliment sandwich. I just called it sandwich. But I try to be thoughtful with my words. Like, how do I frame this in a way?
George B. Thomas:Like, I wanna be honest, but I also wanna frame it. There's kind of a communications ninja tip, and that's like I statements to express feelings and perspectives, which can help the other person understand where I'm coming from without feeling attacked. Like, if you've ever had a conversation where it's like, you, you, you, you, you did this, and you made me feel that way, and why do you always let instead of, like, hey. I just want you to know this is how I feel and how I perceived it, but there's a difference. It's a bringing in versus, like, radically extracting outward towards that human.
George B. Thomas:And, again, when I'm talking about this, I'm literally talking about, like, thoughtful words, and I've mentioned compassion. You you have to be patient in this moment. Well, again, it's something I'm trying to do. Trying to be. You should try to be patient and compassionate.
George B. Thomas:Understand that the other person might not need time to process what I've said or that they might. You've gotta really almost have this, like, balancing act of, like, actively listening and paying attention to microexpressions. And if I'm supposed to jump into this conversation, then I have to turn everything on high tune frequency and pay attention because at any moment, we might need to make a right turn or dip out of this conversation. They might initially react defensively or feel hurt. But if I'm being honest and we have gone that far to have the conversation, then I need to realize, okay.
George B. Thomas:That's cool. Now I'm gonna be patient. I'm gonna treat you with compassion. I'm gonna listen because I wanna find the honesty come out of them. I'm very careful with that though because the first thing that a rebuttal many times feels like a sword or a shield.
George B. Thomas:It doesn't necessarily feel like the actual words of honesty, so sometimes I have to keep digging. That's, like, where my brain goes. And, Liz, I'd be curious of, like, your thoughts, like, where your brain goes either on what I said or just the question in general.
Liz Moorhead:I think it's very romantic notion. You know, people will say, you know, I'd rather you hurt me with the truth than love me with the lie. You know, there's the whole book by Kim Scott called, Radical Candor, which talks about ruinous empathy, which is you think you're being empathetic, but you're actually just ruining everything. When I think about the conversations I've been having recently, and also just in general, when I think about that balancing act of honesty versus empathy, I agree with much of what you said. There is a time where, you know and this is where I sometimes end up in situations where I end up being accidentally, quote, unquote, dishonest because I'm withholding feelings, but it's just because I'm trying to figure out what it is I'm actually feeling.
Liz Moorhead:Again, I tend to on the side of, unless I can constructively show up with my feelings and explain what I'm feeling, why I'm feeling it, and how I got here, and what I'm really looking to achieve in terms of addressing it, I have a hard time saying that out loud. And sometimes that can appear as dishonest. And actually, that was some feedback I got this this past weekend, which is that, you know, it can sometimes feel like, oh, am I waiting for the other shoe to drop? And it's just often, no. You're not.
Liz Moorhead:There's nothing wrong. And so what's interesting is finding that compromise, that understanding of it. Butthead. I'm being a selfish self involved butthead and it has nothing to do with you. The facts of the situation and my feelings on the situation are not even this in the same room.
Liz Moorhead:They are on separate continents in different countries. And until I could figure out how to get my feelings back in the same room as the facts of what has actually happened, I tend to air on the side of keeping my mouth shut. That's where I tend to choose silence and stillness because my feelings aren't necessarily they're not truthful in that they're not reflective what of what is actually going on. But there is a difference between feelings that are explicitly 1 to 1 directive. I am angry because they did this thing.
Liz Moorhead:I have every right to be angry. We need to talk about it so we can rectify it because a wrong was done. But there are also those that I consider to be more instructive. What is this feeling trying to tell me about what is actually happening? Why am I feeling this feeling?
Liz Moorhead:Right? And this ties into this honesty versus empathy thing because I feel it is my responsibility in my relationships to be very clear of that distinction. I'll tell you exactly what I told my friend this week. And I said, I knew we needed to have this conversation because for the first time in the history of forever, you had brought up hanging out and wanted to schedule it. And I immediately went, I don't wanna do that.
Liz Moorhead:Oh. I didn't say it out loud. And I'm like, I have never felt that way. You are 1 of my favorite people on this planet. I go out of my way to spend time with you.
Liz Moorhead:I go out of my way to make time with you. And that was the first time I had ever felt that. And then they said, you know, do you not want to go? I'm like, no, of course I do. Of course I do.
Liz Moorhead:That's why I scheduled it. That's why I never told you. That's why I didn't say that. And I said, but there's a reason why I didn't bring it up then. Because immediately I felt, okay.
Liz Moorhead:You need to calm down, Liz. You need to take several seats. You need to dog ear this feeling like a spot in a book and come back to it later when you can actually look at it with a clear mind. And I said, I realized you have now reached a point where this conversation must happen. We have now gone far enough.
Liz Moorhead:That's usually the time I find the most of where I'm having that honesty versus empathy friction, push and pull, is this idea of, am I even ready to have this conversation? Because sometimes those feelings aren't instructive. Sometimes I'm just being a moody little bee. Sometimes I'm being selfish. Sometimes I'm just having a bad day and I'm having a level 15 reaction to something that is, yeah, not great, kind of annoying, but it's really a level 4 kind of reality.
Liz Moorhead:Right? And nobody needs to deal with my level 15 BS.
George B. Thomas:Right.
Liz Moorhead:If it's a 4, nobody needs that. Nobody needs that. But then the flip side of that is this. That quote is true for a reason. Hurt me with the truth.
Liz Moorhead:Don't love me with the lie. 1 of the things that was so clarifying about this weekend was the realization that 1 of the reasons why it ended up I said it was harder than it was I thought it would be and it was easier than I would thought it would be in a lot of ways. It was easier in that It was a reckoning for me where I had to acknowledge, do I feel safe enough to tell the truth in this situation? Because I had a lot of fears. I had a lot of friction.
Liz Moorhead:I think that's totally normal. Right? I gotta say the quiet part out loud. Like, it's a kidney stone. We're go we gotta do it.
Liz Moorhead:We don't we don't wanna because we have natural fears. Our brains are programmed to keep us safe. But there was a part of it that was easy. Because when I showed up to the conversation, I felt like I knew that this was worth fighting for. I knew that out of any connection I have in my life, this is 1 where, like, I feel the most psychologically safe.
Liz Moorhead:Right? And so it was worth having that discussion for me. But then, if I'm taking it even a step further, I didn't have a choice. You have to. I mean, at some point it's a get off the pot situation.
Liz Moorhead:At some point, empathy, I don't know. Maybe it's just not even part of the conversation. It's a matter of, are you showing up to that conversation making it a you versus them issue? Or are you showing up to the conversation saying this is us putting our brains together to solve a joint problem? And I think that's when I can start pulling empathy out of it because it's less of a personal attack.
Liz Moorhead:It's not about this is you and what's wrong and, you know, it's about, hey, we have manifested this idiotic stupid chaos circus together like a family. Can we fix it, please?
George B. Thomas:It's interesting. I I love a lot of what you shared. The only thing that, like, my brain immediately jumped or wanted to jump at something you said is our brains are programmed to keep us safe. I hope the listeners, especially of this podcast, realize your brain is reprogrammable. And that's what we're talking about on this podcast in many episodes is where should you program it to go in the direction that you need it to go, whether it be around honesty or any of the other topics that we've gone through.
George B. Thomas:I would want the listeners to actually give themselves, you know, 10, 15 minutes, 30 minutes after listening to this episode and say, how and where in my life do I need to reprogram my brain? And by the way, you might wanna listen to the first episode and this episode, then you give yourself 15 minutes, 30 minutes, heck, maybe an hour, and be like, where do I need to reprogram my brain on this conversation of internal and external honesty?
Liz Moorhead:I love that, and I completely agree. And this is also something I wrote about in our newsletter many weeks ago, be100felt.comforward/newsletter, where I talk about the difference between listening to your intuition and listening your brain. Because your brain is big flash fleshy paperweight in your skull that is programmed at an instinctual level to keep you from getting eaten by dinosaurs as cavemen. We have a survival instinct. It is strong.
Liz Moorhead:It is and it is good. I'd like to think of it though as a CEO versus COO situation. Your intuition, your inner cupcake, your voice of God, your whatever it is that you call it is often where you are going to find your deepest knowing. What it is you really want, what it is you really don't want, what's your purpose, what lights you up, that full body feeling that we are referring to when something is either a full body yes or a full body no. That is your CEO.
Liz Moorhead:That sets the vision for the company that is your body and your life. Of course, CEOs are big visionary people. They need a COO to go. So this is how we make practical. This is how we make it achievable.
Liz Moorhead:Here are the spreadsheets. Here are the teams. Here are the operations and the infrastructure that needs to be stood up. I'm gonna ask you a couple of tough questions, but you have the abilities, the CEO, to override. Your brain is your COO.
Liz Moorhead:You see it and that's good. Right? You need a COO because it's going to enable you to take that big picture pie in the sky vision and make it real. Otherwise, you're just going to be wishing forever do, you don't want that. But this is why there has to be a balancing act.
Liz Moorhead:The COO isn't just there to challenge your vision to make sure it is sound and it is achievable. It is also incumbent upon you as the CEO of your own life with your inner cupcake to push back and say, this is what we're doing. We don't have the iPhone because Steve Jobs played nice. So those are my feelings on intuition.
George B. Thomas:Love it.
Liz Moorhead:I want to wrap up today's conversation by and and this is where listeners, you may hear me every week. So what advice do you have? And this is where I start frantically taking notes. So I recommend you do the same. What advice would you give someone, air quotes, who struggles with being honest in their personal and professional life for whatever reason?
Liz Moorhead:And how can they develop greater integrity in their interactions?
George B. Thomas:So and this is again 1 of those interesting conversations, but learning from mistakes that you make, which, by the way, I there's a whole conversation about failing versus, like, lessons, and I'm not talking about failing. I'm like, we all make mistakes, but learning from mistakes is key to developing integrity. It's important to acknowledge that things happened, to apologize when you catch yourself being dishonest, which by the way, I've had those days where I started to tell a lie and literally was like, hold up.
Liz Moorhead:I don't know why I said that. That's just a
George B. Thomas:bunch of bullshit. Here's the actual truth, which by the way, when you do that to somebody, they're like, wow. Okay. And I've literally had those moments where I'm like, I don't know why I started to say that because that's not the way I feel or that's not actually what happened. This idea of kind of owning up to your mistakes, it shows accountability and commitment to honesty.
George B. Thomas:And so, like, again, if you think about that, it's learn from the mistakes, but own up to your mistakes. The other thing is we talk a lot about reflection in different episodes of this podcast, but taking the time to reflect on what led to the dishonesty and think about how you can handle similar situations better in the future. Because by the way, if you're prone to do 1 thing here, you're probably prone to do that thing there. I'm giving a pause so that can sink in, ladies and gentlemen. If you've done it once, you'll probably do it again because it becomes a habit.
George B. Thomas:It was the easy way to get out of that conversation. It was the easy thing to say versus the thing that needed to be said. So reflect on what led to the dishonesty and think about how you can use that as a road map to treat it or do it better in the future. Because I think this process will help you grow and strengthen your resolve to maintain this level of integrity that you wanna keep as you're on this, like, journey beyond your default. Mark Twain, by the way, had a great quote.
George B. Thomas:If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. I'm like, oh, dude, that is so freaking true, which again goes back to my onions. Right? If there's no layers, then you don't have to remember what you're actually cutting through to get to the right 1 to have the conversation. But, again, if you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything, Mark Twain.
George B. Thomas:When communicating with other humans, as much as you can where it makes sense, be specific and direct. The other thing that we do a lot of that we need to avoid is vague statements. Why do we find it so hard to be clear about what you're being honest about? Man up. Woman up.
George B. Thomas:Put your big girl or big boy pants on and, like, have a human conversation. When you can be and I know I'm making it sound easier than maybe it is dependent upon the situation you're in. But when you're specific and direct, this helps others understand your perspective immediately and reduces probably 1 of the biggest potholes in human communication and relationships, and that's just general misunderstandings. Like, you were vague, so they misunderstood you, and so now they're pissed. Well, that's not really what I meant, but that's what you said.
George B. Thomas:Well, but that's not what I meant, but that's what you said. And so begins the game of volleyball. The other piece of this is there is a difference between listening, and I'll give the analogy of, like, if you're a husband and a wife scenario and you're listening and you hear Charlie Brown's teacher, that is not listening. That's hearing noise. What we should be focusing on more and more as we try to, like, really hone into this honesty integrity thing is practice active listening, like being in the moment, showing people that you value them and you value their perspectives and giving it the time that is due.
George B. Thomas:Liz, you literally have seen me do this. Tons of people that I hang out with have seen me do this. I'll purposely flip my phone over, screen down, so that I don't see anything, that there's nothing getting in the way, that I can actively listen. And also be warned, if you ever hang out with me in the future and I flip my phone over, not only actively listening, but I'm looking at micro expressions on your face as you're talking to me because I am truly trying to understand the perspective and the and the vocabulary and the story that you're trying to get to me so that I can actually understand it. Because what I want us to do, what I'm trying to do is, like, if you actively listen, it builds this mutual respect.
George B. Thomas:It builds this roadway for honest communication, which can, instead of just being a 1 way lane is a 2 way highway then if you go into this. When you do these things, when you're trying to internally and externally foster a culture of this word that we're talking about, integrity and honesty, it involves this layer of understanding that listeners Layers. George, we have to lead by example. We have to encourage open dialogue. We have to model the behavior that we want to see in both personal and professional settings, which by the way, this too goes back to the human framework and the story that I told about happy, helpful, humble human and the fact that that I was modeling and saying how I wanted others to show up.
George B. Thomas:Well, you can do the same thing with honesty and integrity. Like, you encourage those open dialogues. You model the behavior. You lead the way to build this culture of integrity and honesty of those around you in your life. And when others see you prioritize honesty, birds of a feather flock together.
George B. Thomas:They're more likely to do the same. So in our life, as humans, as leaders, as however you're showing up, we have to create an environment where open and honest communication is encouraged and valued because this and this is a superpower. This reduces fear, which, Liz, you talked about multiple times. I was afraid this relationship couldn't handle it. This reduces fear, and it cultivates a culture that you wanna be in that is integrity based and driven by honest conversation.
George B. Thomas:Titus 27, by the way, because, you know, I can. And Liz said just show up and be you. In everything, set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching, show integrity, seriousness. And so in everything, set them an example.
George B. Thomas:By the way, today, we're talking about honesty, but all of these podcast episodes, I could have put this Titus 27 in there. In everything, set them an example by doing what is good. Developing greater integrity is a journey that requires self reflection. Are you doing that? Practice.
George B. Thomas:Are you doing that? And by the way, support. Do you have that? Like, who is your support partner on this honesty train that you're trying to actually ride through life? You can become more honest and trustworthy by taking small steps.
George B. Thomas:Again, ties into my 1% better each and every day methodology. Improving your communication skills and building, again, a supportive environment where now you don't feel like you're a lone person on a lone island, but there's somebody coming along on this road with you, these rails with you that you can actually have as support. Proverbs 109, whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out. I'm a let that 1 set in for a second. Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.
George B. Thomas:By the way, when I think about this 1, I think that you could maybe go to beyond your default.com and go check out the episode we did on impostor syndrome. Because I know me, especially when it comes to today's topic, honesty, I wanna walk securely. Heck, in a lot of the topics we talk about, I'd much rather walk securely versus always being nervous or anxious about this idea of being found out. So as we kind of wind this bad boy down, remember the goal is progress, not perfection. Every step you take towards, greater honesty is gonna strengthen your character and build a foundation for, more authentic and meaningful relationships that you'll be building along this journey of a life beyond your default.