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Interviews with creatives on the ground making art, community, and experiences in Jersey City and beyond. Hosted by Melissa Ragsdale.
[00:00:00]
Hannah Lee: I want every musician to like have their own voice and like their perspective about themselves as a performer. And that's my goal for my singers, is like, people keep trying to appease me. and I'm like, you appease me by knowing who you are and doing what you do best and being true to yourself.
Melissa Ragsdale: You're listening to Scribbles, to Sparks. I'm your host, Melissa Ragsdale. I'm a writer, editor, and performer based in Jersey City and in my time living here, I've been really inspired by all the people I've met who are out here making their creative visions come to life.
In this podcast, I'll be talking with creatives who are on the ground making art, cultivating experiences, and building community around Jersey City and North Jersey. This is a podcast for anyone who needs inspiration to go out and do the thing for anyone who loves to hear the behind-the-scenes of how ideas become reality.
Or for anyone who's simply interested in hearing more about local [00:01:00] art and culture. Today I'm chatting with Hannah Lee, the director and creator of the Jersey City Cabaret. Hi Hannah!
Hannah Lee: Hi Melissa.
Melissa Ragsdale: it's so cool that you're here. We're in the Communipaw branch of the Jersey City Free Public Library
Hannah Lee: it's a great room. Great space. Thanks Jersey City Public Libraries.
Melissa Ragsdale: so to start, do you wanna give a quick description of what the Jersey City Cabaret is?
Hannah Lee: I would love to. the Jersey City Cabaret is a monthly live show, usually at bars or local venues, to celebrate local musicians and local artists and provide performance opportunities in Jersey City.
Melissa Ragsdale: Yeah, and I'll add on that, it's just such a fun show to watch. The level of talent that you're able to put in that room.
Hannah Lee: it's it's mind blowing to me. Like when I started it, I was just like, I just wanna do this. Like, this is fun. And now it, it is a true testament to like, if you do what you love, people will [00:02:00] find you
Because for me it was all about like, I want this, it felt veryselfish at first, but it has become so much more than me. There's people that I'm like blown away by how talented they are.
Melissa Ragsdale: That's so cool. Well, let's get into that. Like how did the idea come. about?
Hannah Lee: I've always wanted to have some kind of performing arts space for people. Like that has been a goal of mine since I was in college. I didn't know what that would be. I didn't know if it. would be like a performing arts studio or like I run a theater or what. And then. I came to Jersey City and I felt really inspired by the community and there's a lot of opportunities for jazz musicians and bands and like, there's a lot of performance for that type of music.
And I was going and supporting all of these other bands and I was kind of like, okay, but where's the theater? Where's like anything for people like me who like, don't really feel like they fit into a [00:03:00] band?
And so I joined North River Sing, the local community chorus, and found a room of 60 people who also really like singing show tunes and like singing And just kind of enjoy that freedom of music. And so through that, I started going to see Ian Kenselaar, who's a local bass player, doing a live jazz night at Cafe Corretto on Newark Ave, like once a month. And it was kind of just like a two hour jazz jam. People were like coming in and like popping up and playing and then sitting down and it was just like a free flowing like. performance. And I was sitting in that room, we went to three or four of them and I was sitting in that room and I looked at Zach, my husband, and I said, this could be a cabaret. and he was like, yeah, why not?
Melissa Ragsdale: Truly the most supportive thing anyone could ever say.
Hannah Lee: Yeah. Like actually the perfect improv partner. Like, yes and. Okay, do it. And I was like, okay, I wanna do it. [00:04:00] And. I scrounged up 10 singers for the first show was like begging people, uh, pulling people out of the woods. They were like, I haven't done this in 10 years. Like, I don't usually sing solos. And I was like, You're gonna do it today. Yeah.and it was really fun.
And through that, like more people came and then more people came and then more people came and it just kind of felt like we can't stop now, We have to keep going.
Melissa Ragsdale: That's amazing. Rewinding a little bit
Hannah Lee: Yeah.
Melissa Ragsdale: to that first show.That just happened to fall on the day after the 2024 election. So It was sure did. It was like this really intense day.
Hannah Lee: Mm-hmm.
Melissa Ragsdale: And then like from my experience as the audience member, yeah. It was such a like healing moment of light during that dark time to have everyone come into a community space together with music.
Hannah Lee: Yeah. And I think.I think you know, that day felt very isolating for a lot of people. And one of the perfect things about art and performance art is it does bring peopletogether and it gives you [00:05:00] a, a place to channel your energy. There was, a lot of songs that night that.were picked before. We knew what would happen. That ended upbeing like very telling of the current. moment. I remember Emma did Anthem from Chess, which was all about loving your country. And she had this beautiful, speech about like, you know, I wanted this song to feel differently, but I do still love my country. It justis a different meaning today. And Gina did, how did we come to this from the Wild Party?And it was like, all of these things just felt like really big in that moment. But. it continues to prove that Through these times that we're in art is so important and we need these likeopportunities to work together and, find similarities with people and, you know, find creative space and find joy in little moments.
Melissa Ragsdale: Totally.
And when, even setting aside the political situation that was going on,
Hannah Lee: Yeah.
Melissa Ragsdale: when you were in that moment of, oh, this is like my first show, [00:06:00] I'm like finally done it. Like how did, what did that feel Like for you?
Hannah Lee: it was so overwhelming for me. Like I feel like I have spent a lifetime telling myself I wasn't goodenough, To have my own space inthis world. You know, like I studied theater and I've been in a lot of shows and I've been around for my whole life, but I was, nobody was giving me the opportunity to lead a space and I kind of just had to. Take it. And it was a little, still very scary. There's a lot of imposter syndrome ofdo I know how to do this?Do I knowwhat I'm doing but I kind of just keep saying yes, and I just keep doing it. And it's overwhelming every time.
Like I'm incredibly humbled. I am gracious to everyone who like gives us their time and their talent and these people, like I get to hear reallygood singers all the time, every single month. And I'm blown away by their talent every time. And I'm like, why are they here?They don't have to be here. But they [00:07:00] continueto do itand it's wild.
Melissa Ragsdale: Yeah. Well they're there because you've created a space for them to be there
Hannah Lee: Yeah, And I'm like. It clearly there was people that did want this other than me. You know,
Melissa Ragsdale: So what did it take to, get from, I have this idea for a cabaret too, on the stage and having it, um, now it's a monthly series. Is there anything that pops into mind of like, oh, we had to do some creative problem solving here?
Hannah Lee: yeah. Well, yeah. so we did our first show at Cafe Corretto, and then I was like ready to do more and then the venue closed, like,
Melissa Ragsdale: oh
Hannah Lee: fully. I was trying to book the next month and they were reallyhesitant to book me and they were like, oh, we're trying, it was December and they were trying to do holiday parties and book out the space for rentals. and I was like, I can't compete with that. I'm not giving them$1,500. Yeah. Um. And then January they were like, actually, we're closing. We're stopping all live events, like no [00:08:00] more. And I
was like, this man, or this venue, this job, this restaurant cannot determine our fate. like I cannot quit because they want us to.
And likeit would be so easy to just roll over andbe like, we did it. We did one show andthen the venue closed and that was that and I was like, no, we have to do more. So we, spent weeks like researching and figuring out what kind of venues would host us. We found Brightside Tavern, Tommy, islike amazing. Always willing to support live artists, but also just like open his doors to anyone and they've been wonderful. But we were like, we researched everything. We were like emailing people like, hi,we're the cabaret and we wanna bring the show to you, and we promise it'll be worth it.
But nobody got back to us. Nobody knew what wewere, uh, we didn't have any clout about, like, or behind our brand or behind our name. And people
Now people wanna work with us.
Melissa Ragsdale: you've done shows [00:09:00] that obviously the two you just mentioned, cafe Corretto, Art House.
Hannah Lee: We just did an art house show. We did 9 0 2 Brewing Company. We did the Barrow Mansion. We did a show in the Plaza, like a groove on Grove with Dancing.we have a pet shop show coming up this month.
Melissa Ragsdale: So like, that will be right before this comes out. Okay.
Yeah. in the future there will have
been, there will be a pet shop show.
Hannah Lee: Yes. so really branching outon where we're going now, but, a year ago nobody wantedto work with us.
Melissa Ragsdale: It's amazing how much has changed in a year.
Hannah Lee: Yeah.
Melissa Ragsdale: and then the other thing is that you've, incorporated into a non-profit
Hannah Lee: Yes. Yes.
Melissa Ragsdale: So, tell me a little bit about that vision.
Hannah Lee: Yeah, so I basically wanted the cabaret to have like a, aa daddy, um,a daddy, organization behind it.
And, you know, I would eventually love to do more
than cabarets -- musicals,plays, workshops, [00:10:00] classes, like. All of that would be a down the linedream for three Peas and like putting on larger scale events than just cabaret. But for now, cabaret is what we can manage and what we can handle.
everything I'm doing as I'm going along is like, trying to see the future and create systems before we need them.Trying to have foresight about what can we do, like how big can it go and like how can I think of that now and institute structure so we don't get to a point of being like,ah, it's so overwhelming Andso big and I dunno how to handle it. Anduh, freaking out.
Melissa Ragsdale: I love that. 'cause one of the things I wanted to talk about with you is like, I feel like going from being someone who's worked on real off Broadway productions. Who's gone to school for theater, when you're in that zone, you've been working as part of an institution
Hannah Lee: mm-hmm.
Melissa Ragsdale: for a long time. And then to go out and do something independent, like the thing you lose is that [00:11:00] structure. Yeah. so like how do you find that for yourself?
Hannah Lee: I make so many spreadsheets. Yeah. I make so manydocuments. I spend so much,
like, it's an unhealthy amount of time I spend thinking about it.Uh, it.Almost is likean anxiety level of like,if I just think about it all the time, I willthink about everypossiblescenario and then I can prevent it.But it is, it's like chill out girl. like go have fun, go enjoy your life. Dosomething else. Find a hobby. Um, but this is my hobby, unfortunately, It's just consuming me.
But I. I. you know, I come from a background of stage managementand production coordinating with television, which is all about creating structure for people.So. I feel like I I function very well with structure and confines. Yeah. 'cause I know what I can do and what I, can'tdo, and when it's like I know what the rules are. I know how to fit within this so just creating that for [00:12:00] myself is, it feels like second nature, a little bit. Um,
and I, I don't know how to
function without
it. the chaos
is
like, no. No.
there must
Melissa Ragsdale: I
I'm gonna provide
it for
Hannah Lee: Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
These are the
rules. this is what we're
doing. and it, but it
is hard to make myself
stick
to that a lot.
like I will
put a cap
on
like how many people can be in
a
show and like how long the
show
is supposed to
be.
but
the human in
me is
like, oh, but what if
we just
give everyone and like,
what
if
we,
I
just, I wanna
be, but I have to
put on
like
director,
producer,
brain of
you must do these
things
sometimes. Yeah.
Like sometimes you
have
to be
businessy And But my heart wants
Melissa Ragsdale: And that's, that's, a huge mindset shift, right?
To
Hannah Lee: like Yes.
Melissa Ragsdale: be like a
director
Hannah Lee: Yes. person making decisions.
And a lot of these
people are like my friends
and
my peers that I
have relationships with outside of the
cabaret.
And I want
like, it's like,
yes, I want
my
friends
in the show. yeah, they're my friends. I
wanna hang out
with them. But
sometimes I
have to be
like,[00:13:00]
the
best thing for the show? Like
that
has
to always
come first.
But my heart
wants my
friends.
Right?
like,
like they'll just hang out.
I
wanna
put the same people
in the
show all
the time.
Melissa Ragsdale: Oh
my
gosh, that's
so real. actually from there, let's start, I had some questions about
like,
what the casting process looks like. um,
what
does the casting process look like?
Hannah Lee: Yeah. That
has, um, changed a lot. When I first created the cabaret, there
was really no process.
People were just messaging
me, telling me they wanted to be in the show. And I, was like, great, you're in the
show. And I didn't even know what
songs they were singing. Like literally I was just saying yes to
people And not performances. Yeah. And so then I was
getting to having to put the songs in order and create the order of the show. And I was like, I don't have anything to work
with
here because I was not. Diligent on how
I am organizing this. And I was cast, like, I had people cast in the May [00:14:00] show in February because they just told me
about it. Yeah. And then May comes around And new people are trying to get in
and I'm already full because I cast
the show
six
weeks ago by word of mouth.
And actually there's new things I'd rather have,
but now I'm in a pickle. So then I created a Google
form, and.
It's
just like everybody put in your
submissions
and you
have a month
to tell me what you wanna do.
And then I look at all of
them and I'm
choosing
songs instead
of, and
I can see like the whole picture and I'm thinking
about
how to
build a
show and not just,
this is a good
song. like '
cause for
me,
like yes, you
could put two
hours of music
on stage, but I try
to
have
like
emotional highs
and
lows in the show.
And I
try to
create
structure with the order
of
the songs
so that
it's
not just music for two hours. and
there is
like,
highs
and lows
and
sometimes it's sad
and [00:15:00] sometimes it's really
funny
and
Hannah Lee: it's been really
fun to like do
that journey, but it
did
require me creating structure around the casting process And being able to like step back
and look at everything.
Melissa Ragsdale: Yeah. So in addition to those like kind of structural elements, what are you looking for when somebody submits
Do they submit an audition or
is
it
Hannah Lee: not
usually?
If I don't know
them,
if like they're a new person, I
usually ask for a
video, but it
doesn't have
to be.
one of the songs that they've submitted.
It could be an older video, it could be whatever,
an audio clip. I kind of just want
to
see what I'm working with, but it's
like, does the song
fit the
person?
Is the song
interesting? Does the person
have,
variety? Like people love
ballads, and I get it. Ballads are
very fun to
sing, but I cannot build a two hour show out of
ballads. And so it was like, are you giving me anything else? Are you giving me diversity in the two songs? [00:16:00] Can I put you up and you do something and then I put you up an hour later and you're doing something very different.
And that's exciting. I love that. I love when people have
like
unique ideas about things. If they're like, I wanna do this song, but I
think I wanna do it
really
differently. and we have one, performer, Lillian,
who is
great at making choices about performances. and she did a Hamilton song and
played three different roles And like half
costume on one side and half costume on the other, and
then put on a hat for the
third.
And she's
just
like, yes. Gimme that. You have a weird idea.
I love
it. Yeah, I want that
Melissa Ragsdale: Well,
and like, I think
that in
the room, there's this real
feeling
of
support
and
safety where people are like
trying
stuff out going outta their comfort zone, building confidence. how do you cultivate that
Hannah Lee: Yeah, that was very important for me. I
feel like I come from a world
of not
feeling incredibly supported, uh, from my peers, from my family, [00:17:00] from.
The people I went to school
with, from people I worked with, like
think theater and
performing arts can be a very cutthroat
industry.
And
there's this mentality of if you are good,
I can't also be
good, which is so
not
true. And like we can all
be
good, And we
can all shine. And you being good doesn't mean that I'm
bad.
We
have
differences. We have, We all have our strengths. And I think everyone
can
perform their
best when they have support of people around them. it was really important
for me as like a director, a leader, to
create an environment of people
feeling safe
to
explore. And
I knew that,
you know, our first show, we were
working with
people that aren't used to performing and haven't done this in a
while. So it was
like,
How
can we
make them come out of
a
shell? How can we bring out the best
of
them?
and that is by like
being
very open
and being
welcoming and it's like being
supportive. And
this is like, it's a one-off show. I
can't [00:18:00] expect
perfection out of anyone, and
I never will. I'm not
perfect. I make mistakes all the time, performing.
Um,
but
it's
it's not about that. Like, it's about being present and it's
about
learning and it's about
having fun and enjoying performing arts and
like that doesn't always have to be.
Uptight. It doesn't have
to be
perfect.
There's,
there's,
a lot
of
stigma about
that,
we've done a good job with casting to
make sure that. Like,
everyone that comes in is also very welcoming and accepting, and like they're coming into an environment that is that way, so it's easy for to join along.
Melissa Ragsdale: I love, I love that so,
so
Hannah Lee: much. it's
it's really
great. I feel like we're all trying to.
We've all had trauma from like
a music school or a
theater department or something, and we're all trying
to break it. we all deserve
better
than
that.
like we're in our thirties now. We can, it can be fun and
like, it doesn't have to be taxing. I don't need
to lay
on the floor
and
access
my
deepest, darkest memories to
cry.
Like, let me just, let me sing a song [00:19:00] about, I
don't
know,
silly things. that. Well, and one thing that happened in the December show was, there
Melissa Ragsdale: was a, a girl who halfway through her song, she forgot the
lyrics and she
just
started singing
oh, I don't remember
the lyrics.
Can you guys help me out?
And
it was such an electric moment of like,
the
crowd was totally behind her. Like everyone was
cheering
for
Hannah Lee: she got a standing
ovation,
she got
standing ovation.
So the lyrics on a phone. their phone. Yeah.
Melissa Ragsdale: And
like that
moment has stuck with me since it happened.
Hannah Lee: It,
was a masterclass in like
how to handle
not
doing
perfect on stage.
Like, you
know, it's, we've all been there, we've all
forgotten a line. We've
all
missed an entrance
or
just like
sung a
wrong
note. It
happens.
The audience
reacts how you
tell them to.
So
like, if you are, anxious
and scared, they
feel
that.
If you laugh through it, they're gonna find
humor
in it and like it's so important as a
performer to know that
you
[00:20:00] are, you lead
this room right
now.
So you are
telling them how to respond.
Yeah. Have fun.
I'm
not
mad. I've never gotten mad at anyone for anything that's ever happened.
She walked off stage and was like, I'm so sorry.
I was like, I don't
care. I said, do you hear that audience?
They don't
care.
Melissa Ragsdale: It was like
the most memorable performance I'd seen all year.
Hannah Lee: I know, I know. It was a great feeling from the
She, she was amazing. She handled it so
well.
Melissa Ragsdale: and like that really, like
I
come from an improv background where like one of the big mantras is there are no mistakes.
There's only
Hannah Lee: Yes. And I
Melissa Ragsdale: feel like that just like proved
it.
Hannah Lee: Yes.
And Isaac, our
pianist is
amazing and just can like, hang with anything that anybody does. So he's just
vamping
and he is like, I'm with you whenever you're
ready.
I got you.
Yeah.
Uh, and
like that's
always
supportive. He's
helped
me
So many times. I
just, I
forget the words
and I
just look at
him
and he just mouths
it.
And I'm like,
cool,
cool,
He's
Melissa Ragsdale: so on top. like he is, well, first of all, he's a beast as a player. Yeah. But like he is so good at adapting.
Hannah Lee: he's like the
best accompanist
because [00:21:00] he like
is
with
you. Like he's present, he's there,
he's like
actively
working with you as a
performer
and not
like on his
own agenda. like vibing.
and it's like
I feel
safe
because
he's
with me
and like he has my back and I've got
his back. And it's like, we're
good.
Melissa Ragsdale: That's amazing. and so like thinking about that feeling of support, you mentioned already that a lot of people come to cabaret after, like having taken for
a while or like maybe they had a bad experience and music school or in theater world or whatever.
so
like what, what do you say to encourage those people? Like if someone's listening right now and they're like in that zone of, oh, this sounds really fun, but I haven't sung in years. like
what would you say
to them?
Hannah Lee: I say, don't
believe that voice in your head and get out there This sounds bad
to the audience, and I don't mean it to,
but
like,
you
on stage are already
braver than everyone
sitting in that
room because you're up here
and like
you're doing
it,
and It's ama
like I trust you. I want
every
musician to like have their
own
voice and
like their
perspective
about themselves as
a
performer. and
[00:22:00] that's my goal for my singers, is
like
people keep trying to appease me.
And I'm like, you
appease me by knowing who you are and doing
what you do
best and being
true to
yourself.
And like.
yeah, I'm gonna like.
it if it's a song that. I
like. But if you do a song that I don't
know and
you do it great,
I don't care if
I
know it. You're telling me I like it. And now I
like it
because I like you and I
like
what you have to bring.
And it's just like, I want,
everyone to trust
themselves. I want,
I
want you
to. Stop being scared.
Yeah.
It's like,
what
could go wrong? What's the worst that could happen? You forget your words in the
audience.
Gives you a standing
ovation.
Yeah.
sounds
great.
You get great photos.
Yeah.
Melissa Ragsdale: Well,
Hannah Lee: and
so your
Melissa Ragsdale: husband
Zach, does like the video in
the
Hannah Lee: photo
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Ragsdale: Mm-hmm.
And I think that's part of the fun of it, is Like
people seeing themselves as a
performer
Hannah Lee: Yeah. I think, I,
think a
lot of these
people
[00:23:00] wrote that
off for
themselves, like it wasn't an option.
And I was
one
of those
people, you know,
I
went to
school for theater
and
wanted to be a
musical
theater
performer,
but
then
fell into stage management and stayed
there,
and then COVID happened and
I left performing arts kind of altogether. there,
wasn't a lot
happening, and I
was not sure if I would ever do it again. you. know, like I wanted
to, it seemed
like
something I would
maybe.
find a
way back into at some point, But I
didn't
have
a plan and I
didn't
have a trajectory, and now I
do.
Right? And
now. And now it's like
I,
this sky's the
limit. I can see so many things
that
we could do
and for
me,
for others,
like I
want,
I
think this
community
deserves
theater,
but it is,
it's like
giving the photos was
like, people are
like,
here. Look at
me. I
did that. Like I look
good
on stage.
I [00:24:00]
I,
am
giving all of these
emotions. I
am. creating like
a
character. I
am building a world and
it's
Melissa Ragsdale: It's
just, it's just amazing to see that happen
in people. Like there's some performers that, like, I remember their
first
performance mm-hmm.
Hannah Lee: mm-hmm. Where
Melissa Ragsdale: like nervous.
mm-hmm.
And then now they're
Hannah Lee: like
had,
Melissa Ragsdale: they're jumping into everything.
Like
Hannah Lee: Like I go
back and watch,
we put all the
videos on our YouTube and I, I stay watching all of them, um, old
ones from like
a year ago. And people have grown so much, they're so much more comfortable with
themselves being
on stage, having.
Like
participation with the
audience
being
present.
And it, it's
really, it's really fun. It's really fun to see. I'm like,
proud of these people. Like
I'm,
they're like my
babies.
Melissa Ragsdale: Yeah. Aw. so
once someone's like.
Submitted
they've been approved They're gonna be in the
show.
Hannah Lee: Yeah. Yay.
Melissa Ragsdale: What happens between
that moment and show
Hannah Lee: Uh,
lots
of
emails and communication from
[00:25:00] me.
there is, we have like
one scheduled rehearsal
with Isaac.
So, and that's usually the day
before.
the
show, sometimes a couple days before.
Um, and
that's really like,
you need to come
to this rehearsal.
Pretty proficient in your songs. 'cause this is about
making sure that you guys are on the same page
so that you can get to the show and do a
real thing.
Um, but I'll, a week, a week before that, I'll do a rehearsal at my house as just like a casual workshop of like, come
and you're gonna sing with a
karaoke track or my bad
piano playing and.
It's a safe space and you can like try new things
and you can do it for an audience for the first time. And you can get feedback
from me, from your peers. Like this is a
safe room to just play
around have fun.
I put everybody in a group chat
together.
And
it's it's really good for
like
building community within the group and like singers, getting to know
other [00:26:00] singers.
but then
it's just fun too 'cause we'll.
Be like, this needs this, and we'll like throw an extra body into the
number
and
Be like, this
needs backup singers. We're gonna figure that out. And it, it's become a big collaborative process between everybody. Um, it kind of feels like a little
ensemble that we cast each month. Not everybody every month is
as involved, but you know, there's
usually
10 to 12 singers each month that are like, really?
Into just doing whatever. And they'll be like, I'll
jump into this number. I'll, I can
bring something for that. I've got props for you, or I have great ideas about how you can make this number. more exciting. And it's like, a very fun,
just
like process of play.
And that's,
that's, like my favorite part. I love
rehearsal. that's
my favorite
part
of the
process.
And usually like
we do all
the
rehearsals at my
apartment, so people just come over and just sing the shit out of these
songs
and I'm
like.
oh my God. [00:27:00] Oh my God.
Sometimes the rehearsals are a
little bit better
than the performance and
I don't
know. I mean, I
do that. I'm guilty of
that.
Melissa Ragsdale: feel like that's always how it
Hannah Lee: The
room is scary. Microphones are
scary sometimes. Yeah, there's a lot going on. Um, but that rehearsal is really good.
and
like
I'm
always busy at the show and so
I
don't.
Always have the focus to just like sit and watch. But at the rehearsal I am
like,
you have my full
attention.
I'm cackling, I'm
laughing, I'm having the best time. But it is
like, sometimes
I give a
note, sometimes I'm
like, can you gimme a little bit more?
It's
What if you,
What if you were like, I'm
crazy.
Melissa Ragsdale: That's
the note I'm always
getting
Hannah Lee: Yeah. Yeah.
Melissa Ragsdale: I think that's so great because. like cabaret, you think of it as, oh, it's independent
acts. Yeah.
Hannah Lee: Yeah. doing
Melissa Ragsdale: something alone. But creating that ensemble feel you're removing, I think that's one of the hardest things about being, like.
I've. do a
lot of writing that's a very like,
independent Art
form.
and like it can be the same for being a musician of just like [00:28:00] being by
Hannah Lee: Mm-hmm. and like
Melissa Ragsdale: having That that space. Yeah. That
Hannah Lee: Yeah. feeling.
Yeah. It is. And I've, I've done a few cabarets in
New York
that don't
feel this way. Like, you know,
it's very
very
cold and people stick to themselves. I
definitely did not
make friends. Um,
not at
all.
And we are completely
opposite. We have a
post show, I have a cabaret Instagram group chat
that is every singer that has ever been in the cabaret.
If they're on
Instagram, they're in
that chat. and it is like a space to share upcoming projects,
like find duet partners, people put in songs and they're like, Hey,
anyone
wanna work
on
this?
Does
anyone feel
like
doing something?
And it's just, it's a really
great
space and it just
like a testament
to this environment that
we
have created. And I think it's
like.
It doesn't
feel weird because
you
did work with
these people at
a workshop. You probably
played together in a number. Like we've,[00:29:00]
we kind of
come
up
with,
I love
a
group number.
Um,
I love an impromptu group number. Old Lang Z
at the
December show was like, I came up with it backstage Totally. And it was like, this is what we're gonna do.
Melissa Ragsdale: I was,
Hannah Lee: Everyone
knows it. Right. Come on
stage.
It I
was like, we
have
to,
it'll be beautiful. Um,
but so there is just this idea
of
like. everyone do
what you
want.
And like, if you have
an idea, bring it to the table. Like, I will hear
it. I
think
it
can feel so stuffy sometimes, and I just like, don't want
any of that. I'm not a
stuffy person. Like I'm so
not serious.
So
like. just like,
yeah.
I'll say no if I don't like it, but like, tell me, let's figure it
out.
Yeah,
there's a way to make
things
work and I think it
Melissa Ragsdale: like
comes off in the performances that everyone
our friends it comes
Hannah Lee: off. Everyone is very supportive
of each
other and like
when we are at
Brightside,
all the
singers stand on the
stairs
at the back. Yeah. And we all watch each
other. We
all
sing
along for each other. We're
like
wooing and [00:30:00] hollering
and
screaming
and couldn't be like more, we are the prime audience of like how to behave.
cause we're just
like.
We're just obsessed
with each other, all of us. And that's electric. It's mesmerizing. What other buzzwords can I throw in there? It's just magnetic. so now that you've come through a year and some change with the cabaret, like how do you feel you've
Melissa Ragsdale: personally grown from the experience?
Hannah Lee: I
trust myself a
bit
more as, a musician, as a
leader.
I
still
struggle
with
the imposter
syndrome.
I don't know, maybe I'll get used to it at
some time, but
I
I trust my gut. I feel like I, there
was a lot of second guessing with casting early on,
and
do I
actually know like.
I know what I
like.
Does that mean
it translates
to. Other people liking it. Yeah. But I guess
like a
year of successful
shows, I'm like, [00:31:00] okay, I guess we're doing
something right.
Right.
like,
uh,
something's going
on. Well here.
I,
I was noticing lately, but maybe this is just
winter, but I
was like, I was having a lot more fun in
videos like eight months ago at the show and
I think I
just,
it
all kind of got
really big over the
last
couple
of months and we have a lot of new singers and I definitely am feeling
the pressure and like we've been at a new
venue a lot lately and been doing a lot of big things and this
month we're working with the band, which is brand new to me
and
I
am just like
a little intimidated and
like
maybe A little
just overwhelmed
by it, and I'm like,
I need to have fun
again.
Yeah.
It should just be fun
and like
casual
and like,
who cares?
I mean, I
care,
but
Melissa Ragsdale: yeah.
Well, like what do you say to yourself
when you're in that moment of feeling intimidated?
Hannah Lee: Uh, I do. I
honestly, I
scream and then I just keep
going. I just
let [00:32:00] out a little,
like
vocal, like I
have
to
get something
out, and then I
just power through it.
Melissa Ragsdale: Love that.
Um,
maybe this question's a little woo woo.
but
like
what
would you say to Hannah of the past who has this idea for cabaret and
hasn't gone for it
Hannah Lee: Uh, you can definitely
do
it.
Trust
yourself.
Uh, do
it.
sooner. No, I think the
timing was Right.
I
you know,
we, I didn't know anybody in
Jersey
City.
when we first
moved here and like we didn't have
friends for a
few years 'cause of we came in COVID.
So I was we were not going out. We did not know anybody.
And then I joined NRS and then very quickly I had a lot of. friends.
And then very quickly I have a cabaret
circle, which just gave me even more friends in this
community.
and
there's, it was the right
time. Like I had
enough circle
to
like,
I feel like
I
could be supported in this [00:33:00] endeavor. but I think just like
trusting myself
from the
get go and
knowing that I am
enough
as
myself and I don't have to be more than I
am
and
like
I
am
good. I am good
enough as
I
am.
Melissa Ragsdale: I love it. I love it. And you are.
Thank So the first question that I have that I'm
gonna ask everybody, what books or media would you recommend
Hannah Lee: to
anyone
Melissa Ragsdale: who's been inspired by this conversation and
wants to go deeper
or
anything that's inspired
you or helped you come into your own as a director
Hannah Lee: I read a lot of books, but they're actually not
about this at all. but looking in my
Archives of my brain.
Like
I feel
like some of the things that inspired me
as
a director, a creator, like
the,
casting of Elle Woods Legally Blonde, the musical on MTV
in 2008, I believe, or nine,
Deeply inspired me as a [00:34:00] performer.
in high school. they, it was, they, were recasting
El
Woods. On Broadway
and they brought
in like 15 girls
hopefuls for the role, and it was like
a 10 episode
series Of
what it takes to be L Woods.
And
they're working with Seth Rodsky, who's a
Broadway. He had a radio
show, but he
is a music
director and pianist and he was
the music director of the show. and
they had casting team and they had directors and they would bring in Broadway stars and.
directors and actors and teachers, and they were doing like so many insane things on the
show and they were telling the girls like, you could not do this role unless you can run on a treadmill and
belt so much better at the
same time. Because that's the
vocal stamina that you need to be L Woods on Broadway.
and
I, I was 17 And
so I was in my basement at home, like running on the treadmill trying to sing thoroughly modern Millie and
trying to sing Legally Blonde and trying to sing Wicked. And[00:35:00]
Melissa Ragsdale: Taylor Swift does that
too, Well, because they say it's what you have to do.
Hannah Lee: but I
mean it, it's kind of right.
You do, if you're like dancing and moving,
you do need stamina. But I think about that show a lot
and I think about
these girls just like going through this
process
and
It's, it's
always terrible.
Melissa Ragsdale: Yeah.
Hannah Lee: Like every one of
these
directors
are Like so intense and
like there's this great movie,
I think it's every little
step in its casting of the Chorus Line
Revival also a great.
Documentary. And they just have girls coming in the room, like singing
songs and you just
see bad
girl
after bad
after bad, and
then you just have like a breath of fresh
air. And it's not bad. it's just
Not
right for the role, right
Not
right for
this part.
But these like casting,
documentaries are
so fun and interesting and it's fun to be a fly on the
wall,
but I also.
See the
way that they are, and I wanna
be
like the opposite of these
people. I was about to ask, is It
Melissa Ragsdale: like you're seeing this and you're like this
is what I
[00:36:00] wanna
do,
Hannah Lee: sounds
like No,
it's
like
the, this world, it's interesting and you like learn about,
yeah,
you
learn a lot about like how they
do it, but then you're
like,
this is terrible.
And
some of
the,
some people are like, oh,
well we already have a blonde
in the show so
we can't
cast
another blonde. Like
some of these casting
things are crazy. Or it's like
you look like an ex-girlfriend And
I hate
her,
so I can't
cast you.
Melissa Ragsdale: Well,
it's like one of those things, it's good to know for if you're out doing auditions that it's like, could be
something As silly
as
that
Hannah Lee: and
not Yes.
it,
about perform it. It could totally be not personal. Yeah. As in like, I just don't
like the way you look or I don't
like
the song that
you sang because it, I have a bad trauma
with it and it's
just like
Hannah Lee: casting,
it's So, impersonal and informal
and terrible.
Melissa Ragsdale: Yeah.
but it sounds like. I mean, just flip it around.
It sounds like having
that opinion has helped you create a casting
Hannah Lee: Yes. That is, more supportive. Yes.
Melissa Ragsdale: and then my final question is, what would [00:37:00] your advice be to someone who feels stuck?
Hannah Lee: I mean, I've definitely been there, I think, I
don't know that there's like a clear way to get
out of it, but I
think it's just, as a person, it's always good to be
pushing yourself. Right? And like, I never stop being curious about
the world and about people
and about anything. like I just want to
know.
to know.
Um, but I get stuck, like my stuck feels a lot
like. I want so much
and there's so much to do and how do I begin? It's all too much and I just wanna scream, and which is sometimes why I
do and it helps. I am like, okay, I did that now, now let's do the next thing,
which
is get something done. Um, but I like,
there's a weird, maybe it was like,
uh, my, the way my parents raised me, but there is a
weird,
uh,
stigma in my body and in my brain
of.
I feel really guilty
if I
am [00:38:00] lazy too
long
or
just
I,
I'm
like, I have
to get off the couch because my dad will yell at me.
Yeah.
Um,
and it's like,
so there's something in my gut That is
like,
do it. Just do
it.
Just keep going. But I'm a
great
procrastinator.
Deadlines do me wonders.
I have to give myself
deadlines like on my calendar.
It's like, this is the last day. You have to give this. Yeah. you have to do this now And I'm like, oh, it's now.
here I am at this day. but, and I
also
just think like
it's it's never too
late. You're never too old
to like start something new.
Like you're never too stuck
in
a career or a location or a place that you don't want to
be
in. And like you. Ultimately are in
control
of your life and your happiness, and you can't really get that from anyone else. So you kind of
just have to take it. and
like,
I,
I encourage everyone to just be a little
bit
selfish.
Melissa Ragsdale: I,
love
Hannah Lee: I love that. Because
you [00:39:00] matter and you have to
put
yourself
first. Right.
Melissa Ragsdale: That's beautiful. I think that's a great note
Hannah Lee: to
end on.
Melissa Ragsdale: do you wanna plug the next cabaret?
Hannah Lee: March 18th we'll be
back at Brightside for a Singer's Choice Cabaret.
'cause we haven't had one of those
since November.
Melissa Ragsdale: Amazing. Well, thank you so much, Thank
Hannah Lee: you Melissa.
Melissa Ragsdale: thank you so much,
to Alonzo from
the Public Thanks
Hannah Lee: Alonzo. engineering. and
Melissa Ragsdale: that's a wrap, I guess.
Hannah Lee: Ooh,
Goodbye.
Melissa Ragsdale: Thank you so much to Hannah Lee. As she said, the next Jersey City Cabaret show will be March 18th at the Brightside Tavern, and tickets are on sale now. So go get yours. I will be there so you know you'll have at least one friend in the audience. It's a fantastic night out filled with music and joy and creativity.
If you can't make this one, they host them every month in different venues around Jersey City with different themes for every show [00:40:00] you can follow at Jersey City Cabaret on Instagram to see all the info about upcoming shows, including information about how to get on that stage yourself.
Plus, as we talked about, there's some truly great videos and photos of all the performances. Thank you so much to the Jersey City Free public library and sound engineer, Alonso Baldleon, y'all.
I was able to book a podcast studio at the library and have Alonso sound engineer for me, all for free. It was a great experience as a creator. Such an incredible resource, and I'm so grateful to the library for providing it. Wherever you are, go support your local library and thank you for listening. If you'd like to support the show, there are a few ways you can do it.
The first one is totally free. You can subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, whatever app you're listening to right now. And listen to our next episode. And if you haven't already, go back and listen to our first episode with Jessica Joseph, the founder of Soul Therapy. [00:41:00] Episodes will be coming out biweekly, so be sure to subscribe so that you get the next episode in your feed as soon as it comes out.
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This podcast was created, hosted, and produced by me, Melissa Ragsdale. The intro and outro music is by windshield. See you soon.