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The Space Between is the podcast where strength and vulnerability meet for families navigating life with cancer.
Hosted by Amri Kibbler, a cancer survivor and parent, each episode offers honest stories, expert insights, and heartfelt support for those balancing treatment, caregiving, and parenting - often all at once.
If you're walking this path, you’re not alone. This is your space to feel seen, find connection, and heal.
[00:00:00] Haley Pollack: All you can do is put one foot in front of the other. You can't tackle every single. Problem that you have like all at once, and you know it's easy to get caught in the wreckage of the future, but all you can do is focus on putting one foot in front of the other and tackling whatever it is you have to do today.
[00:00:15] Haley Pollack: Whether it's getting outta bed and getting in the shower or getting somebody to. Get you soup or get your shoes on or whatever it is, small, big, whatever it is. All you can do is put one foot in front of the other.
[00:00:30] Amri Kibbler: Hi, I'm Amri Kibbler, and this is The Space Between. I'm a cancer survivor and a mom, and while those roles.
[00:00:37] Amri Kibbler: Don't define me. They have shaped who I am. I created this space to share honest stories, expert insights, and meaningful support for families navigating life with cancer. If you're balancing treatment, caregiving, parenting, or just trying to hold it all together, you are not alone. This is your space to connect, to heal, and to feel seen, and I'm so glad that you're here.
[00:01:03] Amri Kibbler: Welcome back to The Space Between: Navigating Cancer and Family Life. I'm your host, Amri Kibbler, mom of two cancer survivor and eternal believer that even in the hardest seasons, there's space for connection, honesty, and hope. Today's guest is someone whose story feels very close to my own. I'm talking to Haley Pollack, co-founder and executive director of Bright Spot Network, a community that supports parents living with cancer and their children like me.
[00:01:29] Amri Kibbler: Haley faced colorectal cancer while raising her family. Through that experience, she realized how few resources exist for parents who are navigating treatment, exhaustion, fear, and the emotional needs of their children. All at once. She turned that gap into something beautiful, A place where families can find resources, creative connection, and community.
[00:01:49] Amri Kibbler: In our conversation, we'll talk about her diagnosis, the heart behind Bright Spot, challenges of weaning her little one during treatment, and how she's helping other parents find light and dark moments. Because when life feels impossibly heavy, there still are bright spots and we find them together. Let's get into it.
[00:02:07] Amri Kibbler: Hi Haley. Welcome to The Space Between. It's such a pleasure to have you on. I'm so excited. I don't know if I've ever met someone that I have so many things in common with right off the bat. I love it. I'm so glad to be here. Amazing. And you know, unfortunately they're not the best things that we have in common.
[00:02:24] Amri Kibbler: But yeah, there's so many things. We've both had colorectal cancer. We both are really into supporting women and community and all of these different things. So I am really excited to have this conversation with you.
[00:02:36] Haley Pollack: Me as well. I'm excited to be here. Thank you so much.
[00:02:38] Amri Kibbler: Can we start off with having you share your story of your cancer diagnosis and what that was like for you?
[00:02:45] Haley Pollack: Yeah, my pleasure. Now, seven years ago, um, I was 37 years old and I had just returned from my maternity leave back at work, and I was just like feeling not quite right. Um, I was really constipated and I was really tired, but everything could be written off to the fact that I was just back at work after having a baby.
[00:03:09] Haley Pollack: I had a six month old baby. I was. Nursing at night, and I was pumping in my car during the day and I had a very intense job. So it all made sense that I was very tired and the fact that I was constipated, you know, just can write that off, you know? Of course my husband, husband is. Said, he was like, you don't have to live this way.
[00:03:29] Haley Pollack: You should really go to the doctor. And it was one of those things, I was so busy at the time with like parenting these kids and working this job that it really was like one of those moments that the stars kind of aligned, that allowed me to. You know, ultimately go to the doctor. And when I did, the doctor thankfully was able to really like listen to what I was saying and suggested I get a blood panel.
[00:03:55] Haley Pollack: And it was one of those things that I, I wouldn't have done it, but you know, it was right downstairs and my health insurance covered in all those things because I assumed that it was just gonna tell me that. I was fine. I was gonna tell me I was a new mom, but it didn't, it told me that I had pretty intense anemia and at the time it was unexplained and that kind of set me on a path of pokes and prods and tests that ultimately ended with a colonoscopy that uncovered stage three colon cancer.
[00:04:26] Haley Pollack: And when I was diagnosed for me. You know, so much of my experience was having a six month old baby and a three and a half year old, and that really kind of, you know, ultimately directed what was going on for me.
[00:04:41] Amri Kibbler: Yeah, and I hear you say like, as a new mom, you were so busy, there were so many things going on, and we hear this all the time when.
[00:04:51] Amri Kibbler: Moms are ultimately diagnosed with cancer that there's like this space where you're juggling so much, you're caring for this little person that's totally dependent on you, and your body's going through all of these changes and it's kind of hard to know what your normal is, right? Because yeah, your normal has completely changed.
[00:05:10] Amri Kibbler: Um, and so even when you get to a doctor that's listening to you and you finally make the time to get there, sometimes it's hard because. You know, there's so many things that have shifted because you're a new mom and because of all these things that are going on, to be able to understand like what's happening to you.
[00:05:28] Amri Kibbler: And it, a lot of times it does take longer to get diagnosed. It can take a a long time and be really stressful.
[00:05:35] Haley Pollack: Yeah, I mean, my experience was, for me as a new mom, I was gaslighting myself, you know? I was like, well, I'm so tired. Like, of course. I'm like, why wouldn't I, who's not tired? Don't brag, you're not tired.
[00:05:49] Haley Pollack: You know, it was the idea that that being really tired could be a symptom of ultimately a colon cancer diagnosis, like was just totally, you know, like out to lunch. But at the same time, like I was gaslighting myself, but. You know, the doctors I was talking to were also gaslighting me, 'cause I had this unexplained anemia and they were like, well it's probably your period, it's probably your, you know, your birth story.
[00:06:16] Haley Pollack: And I was like, well, you know, like I gave birth six months ago and it was pretty normal and. I haven't had a period, you know, like 15 months and, you know, are you even a doctor? You know, like, like some, like, it was like all of these things, like nobody knew the answer and so they were just kind of like writing it off to these things that were linked to having just had a baby.
[00:06:38] Haley Pollack: But they. Ultimately, um, weren't the right, weren't the right things, but it was this experience of like, that gaslighting myself I think about a lot 'cause I was so tired. But when you're a new mom, somehow you can kind of like, in your sleep, be juggling multiple things at once and like something's falling out of the sky and you're touching it, you know, while you're sleeping, you know?
[00:07:01] Haley Pollack: So I was like, I was really tired, but. I don't know, like somehow, I mean, I don't even know why I said to my doctor that I was really tired 'cause it wasn't something that was kind of going on for me all the time. But clearly I knew somewhere deep inside that that, you know, something was wrong.
[00:07:17] Amri Kibbler: Yeah.
[00:07:17] Amri Kibbler: Somewhere deep inside you had that feeling. You're like, something is off. But also the fear too. And you know, the colon cancer symptoms are pretty subtle. Yeah. And they're things that a lot of times, like the fatigue is a main one. And I had really bad brain fog, you know? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Digestive issues and all of that.
[00:07:36] Amri Kibbler: And when I was diagnosed, it was like the very heart of the pandemic. So. I did the gaslighting to myself and got it from my doctors because it must be the stress from the pandemic, right? And what's going on with trying to, you know, school your kids at home and all of those other things that were going on.
[00:07:54] Amri Kibbler: But it was the same narrative, right? Mm-hmm. With, it's like a little bit of a different situation. So it's like you have to listen to your inner voice, even if you don't really know what's wrong, because I also had that feeling like. There is something more, there's something more here. But I didn't wanna know because I didn't want it to be something bigger because of that fear.
[00:08:14] Amri Kibbler: Yeah. And wow, so you had a six month old, um, at the beginning of this new baby. Talk to me a little bit about that. Like what was it like to be a mom of two really young kids receiving a cancer diagnosis, and what was your treatment like?
[00:08:32] Haley Pollack: Yeah, I mean, when I was initially diagnosed, definitely I can drop into the moment like it was yesterday being in like after my colonoscopy and just being in that like little room or fake room with.
[00:08:45] Haley Pollack: Curtains. And when I heard the doctor say that I had cancer, my first thought were, you know, was an was of my kids, how would we explain this to my 3-year-old who was curious and observant and even though she was so little, would pick, had already picked up on something going on. And I didn't even have a cancer diagnosis yet.
[00:09:06] Haley Pollack: And for my baby, you know, there was. So much fear around caring for her. At the time I was nursing and so I had to wean, which was not something that I was kind of like mentally or physically prepared to do. And I don't think, you know, kind of like either of us were really ready for that. And so that was something that I still have a lot of grief about.
[00:09:28] Haley Pollack: But yeah, I mean, so those were like my initial kind of feelings around my family. And then I ultimately had a right hemic colectomy, so that happened. Like, I mean, almost immediately, honestly it was like within a week I was having that major surgery. So between that colonoscopy and the Hemi Colectomy was like, I think six days.
[00:09:49] Haley Pollack: So we had to talk to my three-year-old really fast that I was gonna, you know, not be home for three to five days. And that was, that was hard. And I also had to, you know, wean in that time. So that was a lot. And after the Hemi colectomy, you know, I had, uh, recovered from that and then ultimately had chemotherapy for, you know, eight months.
[00:10:11] Haley Pollack: And during that time, I chose to, I was able to work part-time, which was really good for me. So I kept my job and was able to my. Job was very compassionate to what was going on. I think that also allowed me to be a little bit more present with my kids. 'cause I had like an outlet that wasn't the cancer that I don't know somehow allowed me to.
[00:10:31] Haley Pollack: Sort of be a little bit more present. But yeah, I mean through the chemotherapy, because my baby was so small, I chose not to have the chemo with the chemo, with the chemo pack. 'cause it felt like I wouldn't. I already was gonna have to not be close to her during like, you know, when I was getting, like in the period after the infusions and things like that.
[00:10:54] Haley Pollack: And so having a chemo pack, having the option to not have the chemo pack was something that I took advantage of.
[00:11:01] Amri Kibbler: Well, so you had to wean your, your new baby and did you say like a week?
[00:11:07] Haley Pollack: Well, I mean, I weaned her kind of, I was like not great at it, so it was like I basically nursed her. I basically like decreased the nursing up until my surgery and then I did continue to nurse her after my surgery, but just like very rarely.
[00:11:26] Haley Pollack: Because it was only like three weeks before my chemo, so I, I did kind of do it a little bit, but it, yeah, I mean, essentially I, I weened her right before the surgery.
[00:11:34] Amri Kibbler: Oh God, that must have been, it was very sad. Absolutely. Crushing to, yeah. Yeah. To have to stop that so quickly and at such a like Yeah.
[00:11:42] Amri Kibbler: Special time. I'm so sorry.
[00:11:45] Haley Pollack: Yeah, thanks. It's actually one of the things that I still like, grieve the most. I mean, now she's seven, but. You know, it was such a special, like intimate time for us and it was something, you know, I nursed my older daughter until she was two, and that was really important to me.
[00:12:03] Haley Pollack: And I know nursing can be a journey in all different ways for people and for me, I feel really lucky that I was able to have. That special time with my older daughter, and it feels really sad that it was cut short with my younger daughter though. Now that I'm remembering it, I actually, the last time I nursed her was the day before, or maybe the morning of I went to chemo.
[00:12:23] Haley Pollack: But it was, I was definitely, um, tapering off that during that time,
[00:12:28] Amri Kibbler: having something like that on top of all the other things. Um, yeah, it was like just so traumatic, right?
[00:12:35] Haley Pollack: Yes. Yeah. I mean, I just remember that time with the kids just. Uh, you know, having to find the words to talk to them about something that was so scary to me.
[00:12:47] Haley Pollack: And ultimately, you know, with my baby, one thing that was really, really helpful for me is I had an acupuncturist who just encouraged me to talk to my baby. And that was one of the most helpful things was it was 'cause it was therapeutic for me to be able to talk to her about what was going on. You know, that like I was gonna have to wean that her routine was gonna change that, you know, like her grandparents were gonna be picking her up from.
[00:13:13] Haley Pollack: Her like nanny share more, like all these things. It was really comforting to me to be able to talk to her about it. And it felt kind of like, I mean, of course I talked to her before this happened, but it felt silly to be so like specific about it, you know, like directive. But it really was very therapeutic for me.
[00:13:29] Haley Pollack: And then now I've learned that like. That is helpful for little babies. It helps them to, for their language development and all these other things. And so that really was though one, it was like really, really good for me to be able to find those words, to talk her through it, even though she was so little.
[00:13:46] Haley Pollack: And of course, my 3-year-old, you really have to thread the needle to tell. Three-year-old that you're gonna be taking medicine that's gonna make you sick is like a really hard thing for a little kid to understand. But it's so important because if you don't tell them those things and they make up their own stories.
[00:14:05] Haley Pollack: That can be much bigger and much scarier than the one that's actually happening right in front of them. So it was hard. I think also, my mom passed away from cancer when I was 25, and so for my 3-year-old, I think for most three year olds, cancer is not a word that that has any baggage. Like, you know, the baggage comes from the parent, the parent's, the one who.
[00:14:25] Haley Pollack: Cancer is scary for, but for most three year olds, they've never even heard the word cancer until it starts happening in the background when a parent's diagnosed. But in my family, my older daughter actually had heard the word cancer because my mom had passed away. And so it was something that we talked about.
[00:14:40] Haley Pollack: With her. And so we had to find kind of new ways to kind of thread that needle to be able to talk to her about cancer and let her know that I had a medical team that was taking great care of me. But I did have the same thing that, I mean, it was different. My mom died for breast cancer, but like, you know, for all she understood was that it, that she had cancer and I had cancer.
[00:15:00] Haley Pollack: So, yeah.
[00:15:02] Amri Kibbler: Wow, okay. There's a a lot here to unpack. First I wanna go back to that is an amazing tip, um, to share to your baby even if your baby is too young to really understand. I can see that being super therapeutic. Um, and just also being a great way to connect, um, and kind of help you to feel like relaxed and share that as well.
[00:15:24] Amri Kibbler: So I want just wanna like highlight that as an amazing idea and then. If it's okay, I wanna dig in a little bit more to, how did you talk to your, um, three and a half year old about cancer, knowing that she already had this association? My youngest was, um, four when I was diagnosed, but she had no association with the word cancer.
[00:15:46] Amri Kibbler: So when I said that to her, it was like, okay. Yeah. And then so what's for lunch? Um, right. You know, it's such a different story already when your daughter. Is thinking about, um, your mom?
[00:16:01] Haley Pollack: Yeah, I mean, I'll say first that it's really, it can be really helpful for kids to hear the word cancer from the get go because they're probably already hearing it in the background, right?
[00:16:13] Haley Pollack: Maybe you're talking about cancer with your partner, or you're talking to, uh, you know, an oncologist or a doctor on the telephone and you're saying the word cancer. Maybe over and over again. And so your kid may be hearing that, um, hearing you say cancer. And so it's really good to let them know to name what you have.
[00:16:32] Haley Pollack: And, um, they're also learning about colds and sicknesses and illnesses and all of those things at school. And so. It's easy for them to kind of collapse what, you know, you have cancer and this illness or sickness and colds that they're talking about at school, and it can be really confusing for them. So it's important to use the word cancer.
[00:16:51] Haley Pollack: Um, for me it was. Initially we told her that I had like an owie or like a booboo in my belly and I was going to get surgery to take it out. And then eventually, um, I think when I started like chemotherapy and, um. The side effects were gonna be different than we started using. And, and I think just like the language in our house kind of had shifted as well and we started to really talk about cancer.
[00:17:20] Haley Pollack: But I think it was important for us to also really talk about all the things that we had, you know, that we had a great medical team and, um, that was taking great care of me and also just always reminding her that, um, she was gonna be taken care of. Letting her know, you know, if her routine was gonna change, letting her know how, and just always reminding her that her dad was here and her grandparents were gonna be picking her up.
[00:17:46] Haley Pollack: And that, you know, all of these people are here and love her and were just ultimately, you know, on her team. So she never felt scared that, um, she would be like, left alone or anything. Anything like that.
[00:18:01] Amri Kibbler: Yeah. I love that you talk about your team because it is so important to have that, those people that you can rely on, whether it be family members or as you said, your acupuncturist, your doctors.
[00:18:11] Amri Kibbler: Yeah. Anybody else that's in your life. Yeah. And talking about them is, it's so important. Talking about them to your whole family and your kids. Just making it feel like so inclusive because cancer can be very isolating. Isolating for us as the patients, but also for family members and you know, kids so much.
[00:18:31] Amri Kibbler: Just wanna be part of the, you know, part of the crew and just be like the normal kids. Yeah, it can be hard for them. Anything that they feel like is something that's different and it makes them feel more secure and safe when they need to have a lot of people that are around them that love them and care for them and that are gonna be there with them.
[00:18:47] Haley Pollack: Yeah, totally. I mean, to the best of your ability, if you're able to maintain a routine for your kids, that's really, really helpful. If they're, you know, have the least amount of changes that they can have is gonna make them feel more comfortable. But if you are gonna have changes, whether it's a change to their routine, like maybe they're.
[00:19:04] Haley Pollack: Preschool pickup drop off is gonna be different. Somebody new is gonna be picking them up or dropping them off. Like all of those things are really important to talk to 'em about. But other things as well, if you have a chemotherapy that's gonna make you lose your hair or potentially maybe it'll be difficult for you to, you know, you'll have to start using a cane or any of those things.
[00:19:22] Haley Pollack: It's really important to talk to your kid about them and like really prepare them for those changes so that they're best able to, to really, um. Manage them.
[00:19:33] Amri Kibbler: I teamed up with Stacey Igel and Elyse Ryan to create S.E.A. Waves of Support: Healing Selenite bracelet sets. You keep one and gift the other to someone facing cancer or life's challenges.
[00:19:44] Amri Kibbler: A powerful reminder. They're not alone. Learn more at seawavesofsupport.com. Absolutely. Like helping them to know what's coming because we know that. Yeah. Surprises can be hard for kids. So letting them like know and then it feels more normal as well. 'cause you've been talking Yeah. About it. And you can see that it, it's coming up.
[00:20:02] Amri Kibbler: Okay. I really want to talk about the Bright Spot and Yes. You, I cannot believe that I hadn't heard about the Bright Spot Network before. I had Elissa Kalver on, um, as guest. Oh yeah. And. I was so excited to hear what you, what you're doing and all of the incredible resources that you have for parents, and so I wanna hear all about it.
[00:20:24] Amri Kibbler: Tell me everything about the Bright Spot Network, what you're doing for parents, and how you got started.
[00:20:30] Haley Pollack: Sure. I, I love talking about Bright Spot. So, Bright Spot started actually six years ago this month in November of 20. 19, I guess so at the time, um, or you know, in the months prior to when we, when we launched, I was getting chemotherapy and I had gone to like my clinic nutritionist and she connected me ultimately with Aimee Barnes, who's my co-founder.
[00:20:57] Haley Pollack: I think she saw two moms who had just had babies, little preschoolers, and were really having a tough time and didn't have the community that they needed to help them through this really tough. Tough time. And so she connected us and we were lucky enough to become fast friends. And we talked about all the things, you know, in addition to our cancer diagnosis and our little kids, but like work and marriage and friends and all, all the things that were going on and that were being impacted by our cancer diagnoses.
[00:21:24] Haley Pollack: And ultimately we were like. We know that we're not the only young people with cancer who have little kids, but so much of our experience of our cancer diagnosis was walking our children through the experience and needing support as parents. 'cause that was so important, remains important, but at the time, especially with two such small little kids, was such an important part of my identity.
[00:21:48] Haley Pollack: So ultimately, so when we started Bright Spot right before the pandemic, so that was, so we had to change course a little bit, but when we started we wanted to. Create retreats for families that were experiencing a cancer diagnosis and had little kids. And when the pandemic happened, we weren't able to take that route.
[00:22:08] Haley Pollack: But actually, in a way, was one of those like pandemic blessings. Yes. And what we were able to create post pandemic or in the midst of the pandemic, I think has been able to touch a lot of people. A lot more people, and hopefully soon we'll be able to. Reignite the dream of a retreat, but so Bright Spot Network supports families where parents have cancer and are raising kids zero to 10 years old or diagnosed while pregnant.
[00:22:31] Haley Pollack: And we have a whole number of programs where national and everything is free. We offer virtual support groups for parents in active treatment, parents with stage four cancer partners, parents in survivorship. Bereaved parents, so parents who've had a co-parent pass away, as well as parents of color. We offer a free book program where we send kids' books directly to families, and we know that kids' books are a great way to start a conversation about cancer.
[00:23:01] Haley Pollack: So that might be something you're already doing at home anyway. And so receiving books in the mail and using those to, to. Kind of break the news to your kids or, you know, continue a conversation about cancer can be a really empowering way to talk to your kids and can be really helpful for them to understand.
[00:23:17] Haley Pollack: We offer an art kit that has everything that's included that you need to make an art project, and we hear of things from parents like, this was the first time I felt like a mom since my diagnosis. We also offer a financial assistance grant. We offer a $500 financial assistance grant as well as resources on our website and educational things like webinars and patient panels and um, and more.
[00:23:40] Haley Pollack: So that's like Bright Spot I think in a nutshell that you can always learn more on our website, which is um, brightspotnetwork.org. This is so amazing.
[00:23:50] Amri Kibbler: I mean, the resources and all of the different programs that you've put together, I feel like that would've been completely life changing for me. And I know that it's life changing for so many parents because you are lucky enough to have been introduced to a friend going through this that you could sort of like hold hands through, um, your cancer journey with, but so many parents are.
[00:24:15] Amri Kibbler: You're just so alone because you're doing so much as you're parenting and going through treatment and some people are still working, that it's really hard to reach out and find other people that understand what you're going through. It's hard to do the research and find all of these support groups, assistance programs.
[00:24:32] Amri Kibbler: I also saw that you have something that's like a family resource navigation where you help people as well that are having trouble kind of navigating all of this. What's that?
[00:24:41] Haley Pollack: Yeah, I mean, thank you for bringing up family resource navigation. So one thing that we hear from parents over and over again is a, I don't know how to talk to my kids.
[00:24:49] Haley Pollack: I don't know how to organize my like kind of medical team, whatever that means. Not necessarily, not like your doctors, but like your like family and friends and as well as being connected to local resources that might specifically have to do with being a parent or not. But sometimes a local resource can be.
[00:25:05] Haley Pollack: So, so helpful. So if you sign up online to a family resource navigation, you'll be connected to a patient navigator who will sort of like walk you through all of these things. Give you some just sort of like general tips about if you're interested in learning more about talking to your kids about cancer, give you general tips about that, as well as connect you to.
[00:25:23] Haley Pollack: Specific resources that are local to your community or you know, whatever you might need. But we know that when you have so much on your plate as a parent, being able to be connected to somebody who just kind of knows what they're talking about is huge. And that kind of runs through everything that we do is, I would say that one of the like kind of core tenets of the organization is having as little red tape as possible.
[00:25:49] Haley Pollack: It is too much to be apparent in the world today without a cancer diagnosis and then with a cancer diagnosis, it can just feel like your already full plate is totally overflowing. So the idea that you would have to like, I don't know, cut through or wade through a bunch of. Stuff to get, just some resources to help you talk to your kids is, is too much.
[00:26:11] Haley Pollack: So we try to really have as little red tape as possible. You know, social workers can sign up on behalf of patients, parents can sign up on behalf of patients, friends can sign up on behalf of patients. We just wanna get the resources in patients' hands, and I
[00:26:25] Amri Kibbler: wanna talk about what it's like to be a survivor as opposed to.
[00:26:31] Amri Kibbler: What we thought it would be like. Yeah, I know that. I just kept waiting for that day when I would get to ring the bell and my life could go back to normal. And unfortunately, life never goes back to exactly the way that it was because there's still so many ongoing things that you're dealing with.
[00:26:47] Amri Kibbler: There's the, you know, constant screening. You know, you're still feeling fatigue and exhaustion and it takes a long time to kind of get things back up and running. And one of the things that you have that I absolutely love is your support group for people who have new, no evidence of disease. Mm-hmm. But there's still so much that you wanna talk about.
[00:27:08] Amri Kibbler: Totally. Feelings of guilt and having to deal with so much and fear. So I think that that is incredible. Why did you think it was so important to have a group for survivors?
[00:27:20] Haley Pollack: Well, we just know, I mean, just to your point, we know that like survivorship, right? People often say that being a survivor starts the day that you're diagnosed, but it really changes when you six months after your chemotherapy and everybody in your life is like, okay, so Haley, that was in the past and you seem fine.
[00:27:39] Haley Pollack: And like meanwhile like your anxiety's through the roof and like maybe. You're still really sick and you're still really tired and things are just not back to normal. And being able to have people that really understand that kind of clip, you know, like that level of things can be really, really huge. I mean, I know for me, even seven years out like this, this month is my seven year cancer.
[00:28:03] Haley Pollack: Anniversary and I just still look at my pictures from the days before I was diagnosed, remembering like, wow, you know, like I remember that Halloween when I just had like a little itty-bitty baby in a carrier. And like I remember, you know, I remember all of those things. I remember how it felt to then be on this journey.
[00:28:26] Haley Pollack: And it's heavy. Like November's a heavy month and I have seven years under my belt, you know? And so, especially if you are. Six months, a year, two years past, you know, the end of your treatment. Having a group of people who really get that, get the ongoing stress, the ongoing guilt can be just a lifeline.
[00:28:45] Haley Pollack: When people around you kind of think everything's back to normal.
[00:28:49] Amri Kibbler: Absolutely. It's true. Yeah. Six months later everyone's like, put it, put it in the rear view mirror, and you're like, yeah. It's so hard to move on. There's so much that you're still dealing with. Yeah. And you're still not feeling great, and you're still exhausted and trying to juggle all those things with little people that need totally so
[00:29:06] Haley Pollack: much
[00:29:07] Amri Kibbler: from you, and especially if you are lucky enough to not lose your hair or not look sick.
[00:29:13] Amri Kibbler: Right. Yeah. Hard for the little people to understand. They're like, well, you're, you're done with your treatment. And you look good. So you can go outside right now and play with me and help me climb this tree and do all these things. And it takes a long time to get back to life. But also now. Cancer rates have been rising for people under 50 and scarily in so many different cancers, especially in colorectal cancer.
[00:29:39] Amri Kibbler: Yeah. Numbers are just skyrocketing. In breast cancer, there's actually eight different cancers that the rates for people under 50 are rising. So the face of what a, what survivorship looks like. Is actually changing so much and we know that these people are gonna need more support as they're parenting, as they're also taking care of their parents, as they're juggling career pressures and all of that.
[00:30:04] Amri Kibbler: So that part of what you're doing is so important. Yes. And I also wanna touch on how you're helping kids because Yeah. Well that the side of supporting the actual cancer patient and then you're also doing so much to support. The little ones with your Bright Circle and Bright Club. Can you talk about those things?
[00:30:25] Haley Pollack: Yeah, so we know that even for little kids, it's important for them to see other kids that are experiencing something similar to them. And so we have two groups for kids. One's called Bright Circle, and that's for kids zero to Five. And kids attend those groups actually with their parents. So they're very much like a circle time, you know, a lot of movement and song.
[00:30:45] Haley Pollack: And it's actually much more about, you know, just coping and um, emotional regulation and things like that. There's no cancer education, but kids have an opportunity to say at the beginning of the group, who in your family has cancer? And literally the feedback I get is just from that one question. Kids, especially if they had a parent who was diagnosed when they were really little, and if they're in this group for zero to five year olds, then they were really little.
[00:31:10] Haley Pollack: So they might not have ever met another kid who had a parent with cancer. And it's so, it can be so normalizing and empowering for these kids to see another kid who says. Oh, like my mom has cancer and anyway, so that's always a beautiful thing. And then we also have a group for kids five to 10. And that also is a similar structure, but parents don't attend that one.
[00:31:31] Haley Pollack: And it also is a song and movement and all about social emotional regulation and health, but there is no cancer education in it. It's really just about to connecting to other kids in a moment when kids need to see their experiences reflected.
[00:31:47] Amri Kibbler: That makes so much sense exactly what you're saying. Kids just wanna connect with other kids.
[00:31:52] Amri Kibbler: They wanna feel like they're normal, they wanna feel mm-hmm. Like they're seen and heard, and they wanna be surrounded by other kids that are their age that they feel included by. So that is such a beautiful thing and a special program that you have created there.
[00:32:08] Haley Pollack: Yeah, thanks. The other thing that we do for kids is a Teddy Bear Clinic.
[00:32:11] Haley Pollack: And so Teddy Bear Clinics are actually child life interventions that were initially intended for kids who were receiving their own medical care and were having anxiety or stress about those procedures. So the idea of a Teddy bear clinic is to just be a doctor to your stuffies. So, which is like as a mom, you know, as a parent you're like, oh yeah, like that totally makes sense.
[00:32:33] Haley Pollack: I already see my kid doing that. And so a teddy bear clinic is really just intended to kind of walk a child through just taking care of that stuffy with like real medical equipment. So we'll send families like syringes and gauze and little pediatric robes and all these types of things. And the experience of playing with the items and having parents.
[00:32:55] Haley Pollack: So parents have questions to. Kind of ask their kids, or if they're in a virtual session, you know, then the child life specialist is walking kids through. It can be really, really good to help them manage their own anxiety around their parents' treatment.
[00:33:09] Amri Kibbler: That is very cool. And is it easy to sign up for this?
[00:33:12] Amri Kibbler: Is it just like the other programs you can go on the website?
[00:33:15] Haley Pollack: Yeah, it's, we offer those about twice a year, and then we also offer them, we send families kits and they can sign up for everything online.
[00:33:24] Amri Kibbler: Wonderful. Okay. Okay. Last question. If you could send a message to a newly diagnosed parent, a message in the bottle, what would you say?
[00:33:35] Haley Pollack: I mean, two things that I would say. I think the advice I give to every cancer patient, um, is always the same, which is just all you can do is put one foot in front of the other. You can't tackle every single. Problem that you have like all at once, and you know it's easy to get caught in the wreckage of the future, but all you can do is focus on putting one foot in front of the other and tackling whatever it is you have to do today.
[00:33:58] Haley Pollack: Whether it's getting outta bed and getting in the shower or getting somebody to, you know, help you, like get you soup or get your shoes on or whatever it is, small, big, whatever it is. All you can do is put one foot in front of the other and that's. That's like my evergreen advice to any cancer patient. I think for parents, the main piece of advice that I would give is just let your kids know that you love them, because that's really the best thing that you can do, is just that kind of constant connection and just like letting them know that you love them and that they are safe.
[00:34:32] Haley Pollack: That's really gonna take them. That's really gonna take them the distance, it's in the best of your ability, just kind of creating that space where they just feel, um, loved and held and, and safe. And the truth is that you're probably already doing it.
[00:34:46] Amri Kibbler: It's so true. It's your kids just want your attention and your affection and they don't care if you're outside playing baseball with them or if you're cozied up on the couch watching movies.
[00:34:57] Amri Kibbler: They just wanna know that you're there for them, that you love them, and that they can be with you.
[00:35:03] Haley Pollack: Yeah, that's right. That's right.
[00:35:05] Amri Kibbler: Haley, thank you so much for being on. Thank you for what you're doing to support parents and all of the resources that the Bright Spot Network has created. And um, thank you Haley.
[00:35:17] Amri Kibbler: Thank you for your honesty and your heart and for creating such a needed space for families walking through cancer. If you're listening today and you're a parent who's just been diagnosed or you're loving someone through it, I hope this conversation reminds you that you are not alone. There is a community waiting to hold you through fear, through the uncertainty and through the everyday moments that still matter so much.
[00:35:37] Amri Kibbler: You can find links to Bright Spot Network, including Bright Club and Bright Circle in the show notes. And if this episode resonated with you, please share it with other parents who might need a little light right now, because the space between is where life still happens. Where we learn to hold grief and joy in the same breath, and where somehow we find the strength to keep going.
[00:35:57] Amri Kibbler: Thanks so much for joining me on this episode of The Space Between If this show brought you comfort or a sense of community, I'd love for you to subscribe and share it with anyone who might need it too. You can join the conversation on Instagram @thespacebetween_cancer.family. And head to amrikibbler.com for more resources designed to support parents navigating cancer.
[00:36:20] Amri Kibbler: Just remember, you're never alone. This podcast is here as a companion on your journey towards healing, growth, and connection.