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Unlock the secrets to business success and gain valuable insights from local industry leaders. Join us as we delve into the strategies, triumphs, and lessons learned of thriving companies, empowering entrepreneurs to elevate their businesses to new heights.
Sharon: [00:00:05] Welcome to It's Time for Success, the Business Insights podcast. I'm your host, Sharon de Koning. I love business, I love working with businesses. I love learning about business. Hence the creation of this particular podcast. At this podcast, we get to interview other people and so they can share their wisdom and their insights with you, our listeners, and me as well. I get to learn a lot. This particular podcast is also sponsored by my company, It's Time Promotions, wherein I also get to work with businesses much like yourselves. At It's Time Promotions, we pride ourselves with doing the majority of our work in-house. So we do embroidery, we do screen printing, we do engraving, we do all the print for the signs, right up to fleet graphics, full wraps on your vehicles. We have three locations here in Alberta. If you have a company and you think that you can use our services, I would really appreciate the opportunity. If so, just kindly reach out to my team@itpromo.ca. Tell them you heard about us on this podcast and receive some special pricing. Thank you, everyone. If you've been listening to our recent episodes, like the one where we chatted with Jeffrey Cullen about the grand finale of Selling Your Business, you know that success isn't just about the numbers. It's about how you show up every single day. Today, we have a guest who is going to help us do exactly that.
Sharon: [00:01:20] I am joined by the incredible Jill Payne. Jill is a high performance coach, author of Be a Dime, and the creator of Energy Management Framework. She's worked with everyone from Olympic athletes to Google and NASA. And today she's here to help our small business community find that extra gear. Jill, I'm so happy to have you here. Besides that quick intro. Yes. I'm so stoked for this. Actually, once I talk, you talk is is what you say once he's recommended you. I had to reach out to you and I'm so glad he made that warm intro. So tell our listeners a little bit about yourself before we jump into some of these questions. Yeah. So I've been a coach and a speaker for about 15 years originally. I'm from Nova Scotia and now I live in Victoria. I have a daughter who's five years old, single mom to a little one. So energy has been a real important piece of parenting as well as being a business owner. Yeah, I love what I do. I love to talk about energy. I love to help people feel better. All of it. We talked a little bit about before we started recording about how energy. I think as business owners, we work, we just work and we work and we work. And I think then we're approaching burnout, and I've been to that where I can sleep for a whole day straight and I'm, you know, not burnt out, but I'm probably pretty darn close.
Sharon: [00:02:33] Yeah. So sometimes we think it's maybe time that we don't have enough time. But I believe or you believe that it's more to it than time. Yeah. Time is one piece. But I think it's more about the capacity. And I think as a small business owner, there are so many things that come up and so much pressure you have on yourself that it is is taxing to carry all of that. You know, and I see people that they start their own business because they want to have a nice, flexible schedule and they want, you know, and then they're just like, it's not, they're working all the time, you know, so I get it that usually we start a business because we're passionate about something and that that passion does really lead to potentially. Yeah, just kind of frying your system. So I think business owning in my world, it's more about how do I get myself on a good channel? How do I remind myself that I love what I'm doing? How do I stay in that place of, you know, really enjoying the craft that I've chosen instead of worrying about all the little things that I can't control, you know? So yeah, how do I get enough capacity? And, and I think we do that by enjoying what we're doing.
Jill: [00:03:35] I like your phrase, a good channel.
Sharon: [00:03:36] Good channel. Yeah. So be a dime. Basically, the idea is that everything I put on a scale of 0 to 10. So a dime is being a ten out of ten.
Jill: [00:03:45] Okay. All right.
Sharon: [00:03:47] So that scale becomes how we check in with our energy. Where am I on a scale of 1 to 10? It's how we become self-aware.
Jill: [00:03:53] Okay.
Sharon: [00:03:54] And then the formula for how you manage your energy is is what you do with your body. What you choose to focus on and the dialog use with yourself. So that's what's going to regulate you.
Jill: [00:04:04] Okay. So somebody listening to us right now, they're feeling on a dime. I think everyone.
Sharon: [00:04:08] Should check in right now. Yeah.
Jill: [00:04:09] Okay. So we're going to check in, say like our listeners are, I'm feeling right now because I feel I've been in this chair with these headphones on all day. So I'm going to say I'm about a six right now, by the way.
Sharon: [00:04:19] So now we say, okay, so what have you been doing with your body? How do you feel?
Jill: [00:04:22] I've been sitting in my chair all day.
Sharon: [00:04:24] Yeah. So you're feeling what is it? Frustrated, irritable, restless, tired.
Jill: [00:04:30] Actually, it's a lot of brain power.
Sharon: [00:04:31] And then how does your body what do you do with your body? Like, what is your body doing when you feel. Yeah, exactly. So like we're feeling like this, right. And then what are you focused on? What have you been focused on all morning?
Jill: [00:04:42] Honestly focused on honestly how would I say that work? Does everything work related? All I do is work.
Sharon: [00:04:50] Yeah. What I got to do, what's what's the next thing? Yeah. Look at my watch. What that's going to work out. Yeah. Got to do.
Jill: [00:04:56] This. Ten minutes to do this.
Sharon: [00:04:57] I got who needs me. Got to reach out to this person. Right. And then what's what do you think your dialog has been like this morning?
Jill: [00:05:04] My dialog, like, what does that mean?
Sharon: [00:05:06] How you speak to yourself. My dialog gotta do this. Gotta hurry up, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go.
Jill: [00:05:11] My dialog is even exhausting. Everything in my brain right now is tiring, right?
Sharon: [00:05:16] So like, I think we get in this loop of like, I got to do more. It's not working. I got to do more. Why isn't this working? Gotta how come you embrace.
Jill: [00:05:23] More of what you're thinking? So your mindset is there. So you're bringing more of that.
Sharon: [00:05:27] Yeah. So I'm focused on work and everything I need to do. And then my dialog is like, we got to make this work. We gotta like, I think entrepreneurs and athletes, high performers end up being the most critical with themselves. It's what is allowed us to be high achievers, but it is also what is not comfortable to be with all day. A voice inside that is constantly like, hurry up, go faster, do it better. You know you're doing something wrong. You have to fix it. It's all up to you. You know, all that dialog just makes us feel more tired.
Jill: [00:05:58] Yes. Yes.
Sharon: [00:05:59] So then we want to say. Yeah. Sharon, how do you want to feel right now?
Jill: [00:06:03] I want to feel uplifted, positive control in my environment. That's what I want to feel regulated.
Sharon: [00:06:10] Yeah. So if you felt like that, how would you sit? Oh yeah. So in terms of the body, my shoulders. Not necessarily. Yes. It's about how I train my nervous system. Right. So with the body it's it's how do I want to feel posture, smiling, breathing voice movement. Right? So I want to sit how I want to feel. I want to shift my body language. Right? And then what do you want to focus on? What's your ideal situation for today accomplished?
Jill: [00:06:36] I have a few things on my list and my watch is running out.
Sharon: [00:06:39] Done that I'm going to do something fun that, you know.
Jill: [00:06:42] I'm going to go home today at 530 and I'm gonna go pour myself a Caesar and go in the hot tub.
Sharon: [00:06:47] There you go. So like, ideally I get these things done, I go home, I have a hot tub, I feel relaxed, right. And then what could you say to yourself that would make you feel better? Good job. Yeah. You're gonna it's all working out. You know, the best thing I think to say as an entrepreneur is no rush.
Jill: [00:07:03] That's a whole different language. You may as well talk talk Chinese to me.
Sharon: [00:07:07] Totally. Cause you're like, no, I, I need to get this shit done. Like, but to just kind of say there's no rush. Like we're gonna step by step, you know, you don't. I always refer to you're gonna eat today.
Jill: [00:07:18] 0 to 60 in 5.2. That's my life. 0 to 60 in 5.2.
Sharon: [00:07:22] But it's like that idea of like, you don't want to eat all the food that you need for the rest of your life today, you know, like bit by bit, easy pace, day by day, you know, everything's going in the right direction, like just that kind of dialog versus this emergency. Like, oh, we gotta get this going. You know.
Jill: [00:07:40] Even the way I drive.
Sharon: [00:07:42] Totally. I think about that. Even wash my face like that, like just aggressive, you know? So I think just slowing down allows us to, to feel more regulated.
Jill: [00:07:51] Okay. So we slow down, we regulate our bodies. How does that impact life work? What's the outcome of all that?
Sharon: [00:07:58] Yeah. So I think oftentimes we're looking outwardly and we're like, so we're holding our body in a poor position. We're focused on what could go wrong. And we're speaking like shit to ourselves. Am I allowed to swear?
Jill: [00:08:09] Yes. All the time. Yeah.
Sharon: [00:08:10] Okay, good. Just remember to check. Okay, so then we're speaking to ourselves and not a kind way. And then we're like, well, you know what? I don't feel good. It's because I didn't get that contract or because I got that email, you know, so we're kind of blaming the external for how we internally feel.
Jill: [00:08:24] Okay.
Sharon: [00:08:25] Right. And I may not get the contract and I may get an email that is not nice, right? But the energy that I have and the channel that I'm on in the moment is going to dictate how I respond to it, right? So like the example I use, if my five year old is playing with a loud toy that I shouldn't have purchased, you know, if I have a lot of energy, I can make it fun. I can sing Jingle Bells with it. I'm like, I'm in it. You know, if I don't have energy, I don't sing Jingle Bells. Right? But the interesting thing is it's the same noise. So I can't say the noise is creating this reaction. Absolutely right. So same thing. Say you're in a meeting and someone's like grilling you with questions. You know, if you have energy, you're like, really great questions. Like, thank you for your insights. If you don't have energy, you're like, give me a break. God, you know, like, right. So like, we just interpret the external so differently based on the energy we have.
Jill: [00:09:22] So to like at Christmas time for us, here it is time promotions. Christmas time is our busy time. And it's like flat out we, we flat out. And I feel that that time of the year. It's really hard on me, a hard on all of us, don't get me wrong. But Sharon, Sharon, Sharon, Sharon, Sharon.
Sharon: [00:09:36] Yeah.
Jill: [00:09:37] And I'm usually good at keeping my control. But if I ever break, it's that time, right? Because I think I'm just too, too worn out.
Sharon: [00:09:45] Yeah. Yeah. You like because I, the way that I see it, like my people who have a lot of energy, tend to be in a better mood, and my mood is going to dictate my experience of life.
Jill: [00:09:55] So I have a question. How does that relate? Because I'd like to say to myself that I have a positive attitude, right? Majority of the time, how does positive attitude and energy like there almost sounds like you're speaking the same language to me.
Sharon: [00:10:07] Totally. Like, and I find I can have a more positive attitude when I have more energy, right? So they, they talk about conscious leadership. If I'm below a five on that scale, I see everything as problems. If I'm even at 5.1, I see opportunities, I see potential things I can solve, I see expansion, but as soon as I'm, I'm below, I see it in a negative way, right? But if we look at the formula for b, f D, my focus needs to be positive, right? So when I think of focus here and I get a sense you might be a worrier, I feel like there's two camps. Are you a worrier?
Jill: [00:10:44] I worry about everything.
Sharon: [00:10:46] Yeah. Same same. So we're cut from the same cloth. But I see it as a superpower because you have the equipment to look forward and imagine what could go wrong, so much so that you probably feel it in your body. Like, I was at an Airbnb recently and there was like a loft bedroom, and I could not let my five year old touch the stairs because I could hear the sound of her falling off of this loft, you know? Yeah. So like being able to kind of project forward into the future this like, I can hear it, I can feel it, I can see it. Right. But that means I can also see the ideal situation. I have the equipment like I have my partner right now is very present. Does not worry. Right. So she doesn't have the ability to look forward and imagine what could go right or wrong. Right. But I think if we have the ability to worry, we also have the ability to imagine what we do want. Right? And the future hasn't happened yet. So we need to realize that like neither one has happened. Which one makes me feel better?
Jill: [00:11:49] Interesting.
Sharon: [00:11:50] The story I tell in the book is this. This story of driving to the airport in New York City and being late for a flight, and we've all been late for a flight where you're like, oh, shit.
Jill: [00:11:59] Yeah.
Sharon: [00:12:00] Like, it's a panic. There's a there's a visceral feeling that you feel I am late for something important.
Jill: [00:12:05] I hate that feeling. I hate it.
Sharon: [00:12:06] Totally. And, and I'm in this Uber and I'm saying, oh my God, what if I miss it? What if I can't get to this workshop? I have to do you know, you start stressing, but in the Uber I have not made the flight and I have not missed it. Focusing on one of those is gonna affect how I feel during the drive and the way that I show up at the airport. So everybody listening right now, you're in the Uber about something.
Sharon: [00:12:28] It hasn't gone the way you want it. It hasn't gone the way you you don't want. So choosing I don't think that my thoughts are gonna change the outcome, but they're going to change me in the outcome.
Jill: [00:12:38] Gotcha. Yes.
Sharon: [00:12:39] And if I'm constantly this is the thing. If you constantly worry about what could go wrong and speak like shit to yourself, that is tiring.
Jill: [00:12:47] Exhausting.
Sharon: [00:12:47] It's exhausting. It is not energy giving. It does not allow you to show up with any, you know, air of possibility.
Sharon: [00:12:57] And I say this, I think business owners in particular, like we don't have to wait for a raise. You know what I mean? Like, we don't have to like, like, you could have some brilliant idea and put it into practice tomorrow and make it happen. You know, you could run into someone that shifts the trajectory that you're on, you know, so like the energy that you have when you're meeting people, when you're responding to emails, like all of that matters so much.
Jill: [00:13:22] Even to emails. Isn't that something?
Sharon: [00:13:24] Yeah. But because when I'm on a high channel, I can be like, hey, fun, you know, like I can even make my, my energy felt through my email. But you know, when you're like, God, I'm just gonna finish these. I see this like we're at like a three and we're like, I'm just gonna finish these emails and then I'll do something for myself. It's got to be the other way around. The emails are easier when I have more energy. Yes, like Chiz Ian Chisholm always says, you gotta tend to yourself and then tend to your work, not the other way around. Right? So then we're wondering why we feel like shit all the time. You know, we're not caring for ourselves.
Jill: [00:13:59] And what would caring for ourselves look like? So if somebody's feeling like a three right now and they're gonna listen to you and they're going to start caring for themselves, what does that look like?
Sharon: [00:14:07] I have so much to say about this. Well, the first thing I would say would be to create some sort of alarm that reminds you to check in with your b, f, d. So that is the practical formula. What I'm doing with my body, what I'm choosing to focus on and the dialog I use with myself. Do you know BFD for Sharon? Yeah.
Jill: [00:14:25] I do body focus and dialog. I cheated though, and.
Sharon: [00:14:29] Be a fucking dime. That's how we remember, right? Be a fucking dime is the only thing you need to remember about this whole podcast, right? Because I think we we all know these things, but we don't have a practical way to actually practice it throughout the day, right? So this is quick. Like I find if you set an alarm, like kind of mid-morning and mid-afternoon when you're like going for the coffee, you're like, I don't know, do I need another coffee? I've had too many. Like that's the time you need to say, what am I doing with my body right now? What have I been focused on? What am I saying to myself? What do I want to do with my body? What do I, I want to focus on? What do I want to say to myself?
Jill: [00:15:07] Can I do that as I'm walking to the coffee maker?
Sharon: [00:15:10] Yes, I think coffee is I. Life's too short to just like, stop those things. Coffee. I'm a big fan.
Jill: [00:15:17] Okay.
Sharon: [00:15:18] But I think there's something about, you know, we all say when we feel like shit, we're like, you know it. We've done it before. We talked about it. We're like, well, now I got to go to the gym. I'm gonna eat perfectly. I've gotta get into the cold plunges I've got, you know, we have this list of like, because there's so much information about what we need to do to feel well, too much like in all of my coaching and all of my one on one time with very high achievers, I don't know anyone who does all of them. Okay. Right. So to ask ourselves to do something that we don't have capacity for is not loving, right? But we're doing that to ourselves all the time. So we have it backwards. We want to get ourselves some capacity, and then you'll want to do the things that are good for you.
Jill: [00:16:02] So capacity as far as doing like me going to the, I.
Sharon: [00:16:05] Would say capacity and energy are the same thing. So if I manage my body and my focus and my dialog over the course of a few days, I will have more energy and capacity. I will wake up and I will say, I want to exercise because I have energy, right?
Jill: [00:16:21] Because right now it's like, oh, I have to exercise.
Sharon: [00:16:24] Yeah. Not helpful. So I do, I get that, that like we dread it is not fun or kind to ourselves to drag ourselves to things that do not feel good over and over and over again.
Jill: [00:16:35] But if we can focus on that, I think I'm picking up what you're laying down. If we can focus on the capacity and the energy, get us into that, I don't know, even like an eight, is that a positive for a dime, I don't know.
Sharon: [00:16:45] I would even give you a seven.
Jill: [00:16:46] Seven would be good. So if we can focus on that, I think we can show up better for our work, for our team, for our customers, for our community. Is that what we're picking up? Am I picking up what you're saying? Yeah.
Sharon: [00:16:57] I think the biggest thing is how you feel. So like, how you lead yourself is how you lead others.
Jill: [00:17:03] Interesting.
Sharon: [00:17:04] So like, yes, I need to lead myself well so that I can show up for all those other things. But like, I'm also concerned of how you personally feel on a daily basis.
Sharon: [00:17:14] You know, so I think we need to do it for the reason that we want to feel good and well. And in turn, we will show up differently for the people around us.
Jill: [00:17:23] Okay. All right. So you talked about the ten out of ten energy is your most important business asset is what I had written down here 100%. So you can get through the day with a positive mindset, productive, feel accomplished. Am I picking up like, right?
Sharon: [00:17:41] Yes, all of that. But that is going to come from what your focus on how you're speaking to yourself, all of that.
Jill: [00:17:46] How I speak to myself.
Sharon: [00:17:48] Yeah. I mean, your dialog, I think is one of the biggest things that creates your experience.
Jill: [00:17:52] Okay. So what would be an example of how people should be speaking to themselves?
Sharon: [00:17:56] You know, I'm gonna today's going to be great. I really believe in what I'm doing. I can do hard things. I can always find a way. You know, I really believe in what I'm offering. The right people are always in the room. It's all moving in the right direction. Like that is not. I do not think that is how we're speaking to ourselves on a regular.
Jill: [00:18:16] We don't do that enough, do we? I made me think when you were talking, you know that little I think it's on Facebook or that little girl standing in front of the mirror. Yeah. You see that one? I forget how much she says, but she's just. Yeah, she's just swinging her fist and she's talking to herself and she's the best person. Like, it's the cutest.
Sharon: [00:18:30] We don't do that.
Jill: [00:18:31] Like, we don't do that.
Sharon: [00:18:33] We, we. So there's a lot I'm doing a lot of kind of a deep dive into emotional intelligence assessments. And what I found in like some of the highest leaders that I'm working with, self-regard is one of the lowest EQ skills.
Jill: [00:18:49] Why is that?
Sharon: [00:18:50] So it's, I think what I see is, is actually self-regard is low and self-actualization is quite high. So these are like high achievers. We've got goals, we've got vision, we've got targets we want to hit. Right? But we like ourselves, okay, but we think we'll like ourselves more when we get to all these goals. So what happens is we're like outsourcing our self-regard. I'll feel good about myself when the external world tells me that I'm good. You know, that's kind of instead of totally. But it's true. Like you can see and then people feel like shit. They're like, I'm gonna run a marathon. That's also external, you know, like if, if I'm getting good feedback from my boss, I feel good. If my bank account is really positive, I feel good. Like we just, if my house looks right, if my body looks right, like there's just so many external factors that we require to let us know that we're good, right?
Jill: [00:19:41] So yes. And all of us like.
Sharon: [00:19:44] Yeah.
Jill: [00:19:45] Every one of us. Like I always think of even my team, everybody's got a different personality. So like there's a couple in particular, they like that. You have to say praise to them regularly and it lifts them up, you know, like there's everybody's a different. So for me, I have to like kind of monitor what everyone is so I can try to. Right.
Sharon: [00:20:04] But wouldn't it be great if everybody could have this internal sense of self-regard? Right? So I've come up with kind of three things that I think create an internal sense of self-regard. And the first one, I think this is really interesting. Like we've got that scale of 1 to 10. So knowing where I am on that scale is great and knowing what I need, but self-regard is going to come from actually doing what you need.
Jill: [00:20:26] Okay, so knowing where I am, knowing what I need.
Sharon: [00:20:31] Yes. And then actually doing it. So like, for example, you could sit here all day and be like, I am thirsty, I need water. But when you actually you're like, yeah, probably. When you actually stand up to go get yourself the water, that's when you're starting to create self-regard. I matter, I'm important. I'm listening to what I need, right? So if you think about parenting, like you would never say like, I love my kid, but I don't take care of them, you know, so like to really have a good regard for yourself, you have to care for yourself. So I think what's interesting, even when you have that example of like giving praise, I think for team members, yes, we want to support each other, but what is more supportive is giving each other space to support ourselves. It's like, I could get you a glass of water, but then you don't get that. Like I'm important. I'm listening to myself. I'm, you know, so like, there's something about same with the praise. Yes, you can tell them nice things, but what would be more meaningful is them telling themselves nice things.
Jill: [00:21:28] How do I help them do that?
Sharon: [00:21:30] You got to share the podcast because right here, it's right here. Just tell them to listen to the podcast clearly.
Jill: [00:21:39] Real, right? Because I think you forget. I think you forget. And again, I was telling I think it comes up with every podcast, not intentionally, but life is short. Damn it. Life is short.
Sharon: [00:21:48] Yeah. Like feel good, feel good. Yes. And like, focus on good things. Like we know how to feel good. Life is challenging. Like I'm not saying it's not, you know what I mean? Like, and these days more challenging, but like, I do have choice in agency over how I hold my body, what I focus on, what I say to myself. I will always have agency over those three things. So I cannot change what's happening externally, but I can shift those things, right? But I think really understanding what I need and doing it for myself, like anyone who, you know, who has a really strong self-regard, I guarantee they care for themselves. Yeah.
Jill: [00:22:27] You know, and I'm just trying to think I'm doing some quick visualize in my head while you talk. And there's not enough of us. There's not enough people that do that.
Sharon: [00:22:34] I don't know very many people that have a strong sense of self-regard. Yeah, yeah. So the other two things for internal self-regard are how you speak to yourself and your marker for success.
Jill: [00:22:43] Okay.
Sharon: [00:22:44] So if my marker of success is the feedback I get or the money in my bank account or the number on the scale, I'm just going to constantly chase it. You know, we know that. Then you're like, I need to have this much revenue every year. And then the next year you're like, I gotta make more. I gotta, you know, it's just, it's gonna increase.
Sharon: [00:23:03] Right. But my marker of success has to be I don't know how connected I feel during the day, how joyful I am, you know, how regulated I was today, right? Something that is not externally driven.
Jill: [00:23:17] Okay. See, so we're talking to entrepreneurs right now. They're always worried about the revenue. Me, myself included. I just hit payroll. So, you know, you got to make sure there's money in the bank to do all this kind of stuff, right? So some of them are gonna be like, but I honestly, I know where you're coming from. I think that if you focus on yourself first, that other stuff is easier.
Sharon: [00:23:34] I would even say when I focus on my energy, that energy handles everything. And especially as an entrepreneur. Do you know what it's like? I mean, when you're in kind of a pitch meeting and you need money, it's not like you're like, we can make that work. We can totally like, I almost think that the best sell is the no sell. Like people can feel that desperation.
Jill: [00:23:54] The urgency or the yes. Gotcha.
Sharon: [00:23:56] Yeah. But versus when I sit in my power and I know that what I offer is good. I know that that, you know, someone told me very big business guy. He said, selling is not about following up with people constantly. It's about getting yourself in front of more potentially interested parties. So we're not trying to convince people that they need this. We're trying to get in front of the people that are an easy yes, get in front of more people. So the people that are your real like solid aligned clients can say, yes, you know, so I think in small business myself, for years, I was just trying to like, maybe I changed the offering, maybe I changed the price, maybe, you know, like this panic versus if I'm clear about what I offer, if they want it, they want it. If they don't, that's okay.
Jill: [00:24:41] Right?
Sharon: [00:24:42] So like getting to that space where I but that again, I know there's probably people listening, but there's no money in my bank account right now. Jill. And I would also say, and you feel like shit because you're stressed about it, stressed about it, you know, like it's that, right? So how do I get to a place? Like I remember I used to fake it til I make it. I would say, oh, I only have two spots left for coaching and people would like dive over each other to get those spots right. So like, people don't want to work with someone who's like, do you have any clients? Do you have anyone you can introduce me to? You know, like that's like, yeah, that that's not, that's not the way that we sell. That's not the way that people feel confident in our presence.
Jill: [00:25:19] No, no, not at all. In fact, that would be the opposite for me. I'd be scared instantly.
Sharon: [00:25:23] Yeah. And so people when we're worried about finances, like let's look at that like, so Sharon, say you're a small business owner and you're stressed about payroll. So how do you feel in your body? This is how we deconstruct a tricky. Yeah.
Jill: [00:25:38] Like been there.
Sharon: [00:25:39] Over.
Jill: [00:25:39] The years. Sick. I'm sick to my stomach.
Sharon: [00:25:41] You're like, how am I going to get the money? Not who am I going to beg or borrow from to get this done? Right. And then what's your focus in that moment? Money. We got to get we don't have it. We're not going to have any money. We're going to have to close. I'm going to get rid of people.
Jill: [00:25:56] Everything's negative.
Sharon: [00:25:57] This isn't like because it's with focus. We can either look at what we want, the ideal situation or the problems and what can go wrong. So in that state, you're worried about this. We're not going to getting we're not going to get this client. Then I'm going to I'm going to have to go back to this old job that I don't like, or I'm going to be on the street. Like we get into this like real extreme. Yeah. And then how do you speak to yourself in that moment.
Jill: [00:26:19] With a negative attitude like you're below?
Sharon: [00:26:22] I've done something wrong. This isn't working.
Jill: [00:26:25] Yeah. I'm self doubting myself. Like, why am I even?
Sharon: [00:26:27] I shouldn't have done this. Yeah. This isn't working. It needs to be better. Nobody wants this.
Jill: [00:26:34] Yeah. For me, it's like my I always think back in the day because I've been through this, I've been there, done that. And I remember thinking my team's relying on me. So I'm just sick about my team. I wasn't even worried about myself. I was worried about the team. Like just sick.
Sharon: [00:26:45] Yeah, people rely on me and I'm not showing up. This isn't working. It's never gonna feel better. Like we get in that mindset too. It's always going to be like this, you know? So then same situation, nothing changes. But let's try to change those three things so that peace about the body, it is about how my nervous system feels. So posture, smiling, breathing, voice movement. So you're, you're having trouble hitting payroll. How do you want to feel in that moment?
Jill: [00:27:13] Hitting it? What do you mean? How do I want to feel in control?
Sharon: [00:27:16] You in control? Resourceful. Confident that you're gonna figure it out. Yeah, right. And then what's the ideal situation in that moment?
Jill: [00:27:24] The ideal situation is payroll's met and my team is happy and nobody knows the difference.
Sharon: [00:27:29] Totally. And that I get some things going in the next few weeks that you know, so the.
Jill: [00:27:33] Don't have.
Sharon: [00:27:33] To do that again. It's not happening. Right? Right. And then what's the dialog? What dialog? What do you need to hear in those moments?
Jill: [00:27:40] I am capable, I am able to do this.
Sharon: [00:27:43] And I think with our dialog, this is the biggest thing too. We need to validate our experience first. This is stressful. It makes sense that I'm feeling like this. I really care about the people that work for me, and this feels it feels really important that I figure this out.
Sharon: [00:27:58] So the experience I'm having, the reaction I'm having is appropriate.
Jill: [00:28:02] Okay.
Sharon: [00:28:03] And then you say, But I'm capable. I've always figured this out before. I'm not gonna let this happen again. There's solutions to this. I don't know them now, but I'm gonna find them.
Jill: [00:28:14] I definitely miss that middle step.
Sharon: [00:28:15] Well, I think it's so interesting. So this is all about self-compassion. Like I know even in my relationship, if, if someone doesn't like explain that they understand how I'm feeling, I can't hear anything.
Sharon: [00:28:27] You know, so if you're in a mood and someone's just like, oh, Sharon, It's fine. You're like, you obviously don't get it. You obviously weren't listening. So like I always say in energy management at a ten we're detailed positive, right. So when you're at a ten, you're like, it's amazing. And this is great and this is going great. Like we can really get detailed about the positive things that are happening.
Sharon: [00:28:50] Then at a seven, we're generally positive at a five were neutral at a three were generally negative and at a zero were detailed negative right. So if someone is really detailed negative like think of your team members. They come and they're like, this isn't working. And it's because of this and because of this and because of this. If you just say, well, just do this, they're like, clearly Sharon doesn't understand how I'm feeling. Right. So I always think you need to validate that person first. I understand this has been a challenging task and it's not going the way that you wanted. I get it, I would feel the same. Simple. You're not going to get into the details and then you can provide some solutions once they feel heard.
Jill: [00:29:28] Interesting. Because again, you you've got all these different walks of life and some of them are.
Sharon: [00:29:34] I think that's like the next level of energy management. Like once you start figuring out your own energy, it's like, how do I interact with people on different channels? Like, this is the biggest question I get after all my talks as someone says, like, I'm feeling like I'm on a good channel, but it's the people around me. Yeah, they're on a low channel.
Jill: [00:29:51] Even relationships.
Sharon: [00:29:52] 100% taxing, I must say. When I'm alone, I feel very peaceful.
Jill: [00:29:58] My husband's in the he's in the field right now. So I'm like, I get to go home in the house to myself. I'm all right.
Sharon: [00:30:04] But but here's my tip for you. Like, so if he's, you know, if someone is negative around us, like, I get this, this, you know, I just had a client. She's like, my husband owns his own business, you know, and every night he comes home complaining and she tries to kind of be like, well, have you looked at it this way? Did it? But like, he does not want that from her in those moments. And it's causing so much tension. So I think the biggest thing is like, I cannot affect someone else's channel. The only thing I can determine is my own channel. It's so true, you know? But when I think I'm responsible for other people's emotions. I'm gonna allow myself to lose my energy trying to get them to feel a different way. But you know what? The easiest way for them to feel a different way is for you to stay on your high channel.
Jill: [00:30:46] I have a story for you. So back in the day, I thought for sure I was. The relationship was not business wise, but people bear with me and I think I've mentioned it in a different podcast as well. But I listened to a book and I was in a negative spot in my mind, my relationship. I was having trouble with my husband. I definitely wanted to kick him to the curb, had kids, had a business to run. It was awful. Like I was in a stage, a oil crash, so the business was struggling. I just bought my second location at that time as well. Then the oil crash, so you know how that goes. And anyways, it was a really hard and my book, it says you got to focus on yourself as by Jen Sincero. And I just focused on myself and being happy. I didn't worry about him. I did not, I didn't give any energy to him. I couldn't, I couldn't give any more energy. I had to focus on myself. So all my energy went to myself and my mind and I powered through it. But it was took about six months of constant constant on myself and focusing on myself.
Sharon: [00:31:39] Yeah. I mean, I think that we're a lot of us, we have a tendency to scan rooms and know how people are feeling and what they need. Which can sometimes distract us from how we're feeling and what we need. Yeah. You know, so I think that that's the biggest thing. I used to give people this, this idea. So I would say when your husband comes home, you like most people, they meet their person on the channel they normally meet on like, oh, hey, hey, you know, so I would say just imagine, you know, do this when you see him later, imagine he's just done something that you've been asking him to do forever. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. But like, as, as soon as you talk to him, your voice is gonna be like, hi, hi. You know, and like, what I notice is when we're on a high channel, especially the people that love us want to match us there.
Sharon: [00:32:31] So, like, someone on a high channel is more powerful than thousands on a low channel. Like, he will come up and meet you there.
Jill: [00:32:37] And he did like, that's exactly what I was trying to get at. Like he literally it went, I don't know, but I had to focus on me. I couldn't focus on him to come up with me. I had to focus on myself. And he come to. Yeah, we're still married. Everything's great, you know.
Sharon: [00:32:49] Well, I always say like, I think that this happens. It's like you, you know, either you're a match or he'll fade away effortlessly and someone else will become a match. Right. So it's just like, I'm not gonna leave my channel to try to connect with someone on a lower channel. I'm gonna stay on my like, I can't get sick enough to help a sick person feel better. You know, like I need to maintain my high channel to be able to help, you know, because that's what I realized. Like we're not trying to be attentive of ten so that I used to think that like, we just got, I just want to hang around tens all day. If you're not a ten, you're not managing your shit. And we're not friends, you know, and now I'm like, I think like, we're not always on a ten. Like there is no channel that is bad or wrong. It is impossible to be on a ten all the time, you know. I created this from this idyllic space in Costa Rica where I was surfing every day. And, you know, and then I had a child by myself in a pandemic, you know, and it was like, Holy shit, I created these, these principles for myself, you know, like it really got stress tested. So I think there's just something so powerful about, yeah, just understanding that I need to focus on myself if I'm going to be helpful for other people.
Jill: [00:34:02] Even as a team. So I would say right now, we got the right seats. Are the team members got the right seats on the bus? Our team is perfect, but we've had hired before in the past where they're not a fit. I don't know where they fit on. Maybe it's but it's just not. I don't know how to word it, but you talked about like somebody fading out. That's what happens with the team here. Yeah. I don't I think if we if we focus on them.
Sharon: [00:34:22] Yeah. If we focus on them and try to make them comfortable, you're enabling them to stay the way that they are. Yes. So like stay on your channel and create that distance that makes it uncomfortable for them.
Sharon: [00:34:34] And either they'll fade away or they'll come up. Because the mismatch is not it's not comfortable. It won't stay like that. But when you go down there you make it. Yeah. You make it comfortable. What's so interesting? Like that's why I used to teach this stuff a lot, one on one. And now I love to work with teams like companies and teams because how great is it to have this shared language, right? So then when you see that a team member is kind of down or, you know, some project is not gone the way they want, you can say, hey, you know, what channel are you on today? Like, what's your ideal situation with this project now? You know, like you can start to use the language or if they're really detailed negative, you can say, I get this has been hard. You know, what's the ideal situation? Do you want to what would what could you do in the next hour that would make you feel better? So it's like it gives people a loving way to support each other. Yeah, yeah. Than just saying like, oh, Sharon, you're negative today. You know, that's like, that's not really helpful. But like not helpful to notice to sometimes we don't have the self-awareness of what we're doing. So to have people around you noticing it because they want you to feel better. So. Right. But also giving them space to help themselves and giving them tools to help themselves, you know, because I think that is the shift.
Jill: [00:35:48] Yeah.
Sharon: [00:35:48] Of like, if you have to support someone so they can feel better, you're going to have to continue to support them so they can feel better.
Jill: [00:35:54] That's draining. Yeah.
Sharon: [00:35:58] For everyone. And it also, like, I also think that's something I notice in terms of like responsibility, if you like, I see this in leadership so much, like, you know what it's like if you give someone a task and then you don't really trust them to do it and you kind of take it over for them, you know, like, I bet you that might be just, you know, speaking for a friend, you know, but if you start kind of like delegating things, but not actually delegating it, we don't realize. We think, oh, I'm being a good leader because I'm helping them with this. But like, you're also taking that joy of them accomplishing something away from them.
Sharon: [00:36:34] You know, so yeah, like letting people mess up so they can figure it out and they can find their own success will allow you to have a team that is, is capable, but it will also allow them to feel confident. Like it's the same in parenting. I can tie my kids shoes every day because I think I'm being kind. But then she doesn't get to feel the joy of feeling like she's accomplished something and she's independent.
Jill: [00:36:56] That's right. As again, as an entrepreneur, I always say like for myself, I've already paid for those mistakes. I've already paid for it. I've learned them once, right? But on the flip side of that, what I learned from those mistakes and my team learns from their mistakes are two different learning curves. Oh yeah.
Sharon: [00:37:11] Like allowing the mistakes to happen so that there can be learning so that there can be growth. But if we try to just like I think, why hire people if you're just going to do everything.
Sharon: [00:37:22] As a small business owner, you can't afford that. You can't afford to hire people and then do their work for them. And in terms of your energy, that is not going to be, yeah, we need to learn to like, I think again, in EQ, one of the most important skills is assertiveness, right? So like being able to say, I need you to do this. Like assertiveness is about being direct, giving directives. So I see so many leaders, if my people don't know what they're supposed to do, it feels like shit for them and nothing gets done. Like so to be able to have the skill to say, I need you to do this by this date, these are your tasks, and then let them do it. Yeah, but I think a lot of people don't totally know what they're supposed to do. And then the boss is kind of doing it for them anyway. Like it's confusing.
Jill: [00:38:06] Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. It is. It is one thing I had heard it's time promotions and I've mentioned it more and more over the last say year even, which we've been doing this for 19 years here in Alberta. But anyways, back in the day, I used to know if a box come in for shipping in the back. Say it's 24 hats for somebody. I would know whose order that was. Or if somebody come in, I would know what they got in the system. What's going on now? Clueless. Absolutely clueless.
Sharon: [00:38:31] Congratulations.
Jill: [00:38:33] It's a win, right? It's a weirdest feeling. It's the weirdest feeling. I have no clue.
Sharon: [00:38:38] But you can't hold all that in your brain, you know? Like, it's just like that's going to take up a lot of capacity. And if I can really delegate things, then I can also have more energy. Like I think small business owners need to look at why did you start this? You know, why did you like and I like that's my marker of success. Is my schedule.
Jill: [00:38:58] Okay, okay, I don't know if I have a marker schedule.
Sharon: [00:39:01] Yeah. I mean, well, let's think about it. Like what? When you get to the end of a day, what is the feeling you want?
Jill: [00:39:06] I don't know.
Sharon: [00:39:07] So interesting.
Jill: [00:39:09] I come to work, I do my job. I do it well. I get to be with my team. I help my customers, I go home, I'm usually fulfilled.
Sharon: [00:39:15] Right. And what's that feeling? Fulfillment. Maybe. Maybe fulfillment is your marker of success.
Jill: [00:39:20] Maybe then because like, yeah, like I say, I like, I don't know. It's so true because success for everybody is different. Some success is money, some could be time off, some could be, I don't know, there's so many different things.
Sharon: [00:39:31] Yeah. Picking your kid up at school, you know, like. Yes. Right. So like, I do think that, yeah, I think that being a dime, like everyone's definition of dime is also different, right? So whatever your definition of success is, like, like, Sharon, what are the characteristics of a successful person in your mind? Someone who's successful?
Jill: [00:39:51] They are for me, giving back. I think giving back, I'm a huge giving back. Whether that be time, whether that be knowledge, whether that be, I don't know, volunteering, that kind of stuff, that's for me. That's success.
Sharon: [00:40:03] Right? That they're giving their generous. Yeah, yeah. So like when you're your most generous, that's you as a dime. Okay. Right. So like the ones I like, I like confident, calm, connected.
Jill: [00:40:14] Okay. I see those kind.
Sharon: [00:40:15] Of curious, okay, like that, like.
Jill: [00:40:18] Those are okay mindset over more so what they're doing okay.
Sharon: [00:40:22] Yeah. But even that, I mean, there's also things that they're doing, right? So like, yeah, my marker of success is also someone who's, you know, they're, I remember when I was young, I would go to the dentist with my mom, you know, and it's like 11:00 in the morning and you're like in the car, not at school. And I remember thinking, this will be my life. Like, I will not be, I will be out and about during the day. I will not be at a desk at a some, you know, working for someone like I was clear that I wanted that freedom, you know, so like that clearly, like when I think, oh, revenue's not great right now. Like when I, that is my marker. Like I, I, it revenues up and down, but that is always stable.
Jill: [00:41:02] And those markers can change can't they. Of course they have to. Okay.
Sharon: [00:41:06] Yeah. And like right now I have a young child. So like, yes, I want, I want to have a free schedule, you know, but when she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore, then my marker of success will probably be something different.
Jill: [00:41:17] That's what about seven years, by the way.
Sharon: [00:41:19] It was 12. Is that when is it going to happen?
Jill: [00:41:21] They're going to stay in the room a little bit more. They're going to start ignoring you. You're not gonna be cool at all. Just saying. Yeah.
Sharon: [00:41:26] Yeah. So it's coming.
Jill: [00:41:27] Okay. I think we're chatting a lot because I feel like you're my person here, but can we talk a little bit about managing the noise? That's one thing I had because as entrepreneurs, there's squirrels all all over. They run around my office, they crawl through my ears like they're everywhere. Yeah. How do we do that?
Sharon: [00:41:42] I think it's again, getting focused on what's your ideal situation, what you want, how you want to feel. So sticking with that BFD, like I was thinking about it, like, I don't know, we're looking at the internet, we're looking at all these different things that people are doing and I should do this. And, and I think and now AI, I got to get on board, I got to do this. I got like, it's just like, you're totally going in every different direction, but like, how do I want to feel today? What do I want to focus on? What do I want to say to myself? Right? So, and if I, I don't want to focus on what everyone else is doing, I don't want to say to myself, oh, I got to do this. I got to do that. Like there's something about staying in your lane, staying in your lane and knowing what you're you're after here.
Jill: [00:42:23] I did a podcast with I forget who I should know this off the top of my head, but I don't. She talked about clarity brakes, but I wonder like, so clarity brakes. Like for me, if I would just sit quietly in the morning and do this PhD, is that what it was? Yes.
Sharon: [00:42:38] Yeah. Big fuck. Be a fucking dime.
Jill: [00:42:40] Be a fucking dime. I was trying to think of your analogy, but better than body focus and dialog. I like the be a fucking die better. Okay. Anyways, so if I was able to focus, do you feel it's beneficial for people to focus on this and write it down or just think it regularly? What's your take?
Sharon: [00:42:54] You can write it down. My other, my other tip, it's a, it's a journal. And if any of your people want to send me an email, I will send them the journal. So what it is, is you write down what you have planned for the day. So this is a way for people who don't sleep well. You could do it the night before or in the morning. You write down what you have planned for the day. We all have it written down, you know. But for each meeting you want to write out what is your ideal situation? Okay, so instead of just, I find sometimes we look at our day and we look at the one thing that's going to be hard, like, geez, that's going to be difficult, right? So you want to look at your schedule and literally write, what's the ideal situation for each event? Could be it doesn't matter if it happens, but you're looking forward and you're imagining what you would like, right? Then there's three other questions. How do I want to feel today and how will I practice it? So, Sharon, for example, if you wanted to feel calm, what could you do to feel calm?
Jill: [00:43:47] What you're going to tell me to meditate does that what you're going to tell me?
Sharon: [00:43:51] Well, whatever what you know what is calming for me? A bath and below deck, you know. Okay, a little reality TV show and a nice warm tub. I'm I'm golden. So, like, whatever it is.
Jill: [00:44:04] Yeah, whatever it may be, I have places, I have places to go. Yeah.
Sharon: [00:44:08] Right. But I think there's something about like, if I want to feel productive, I make a list of things to do. If I want to feel strong, I go to the gym. If I want to feel connected, I call someone. So I think sometimes we're not connecting. If I want to feel a certain way, there's actions I can actually do, okay? Like I am in control of how I feel, right? So how do I want to feel today? And how will I practice it? If I want to feel joyful, I can put on a fun song, you know? So like, there's just, there's things we can do. And the next question is, what can I appreciate today? And trying to go into detailed positive. So instead of saying, I appreciate my family, like pick a family member and pick the details of the things you appreciate about them. Right. And then the last question is, what do I need to hear from myself today? So this gets into the dialog piece of like, what am I waiting for someone to say to me that I could just say to myself.
Jill: [00:45:00] And this is all in your journal that you have?
Sharon: [00:45:02] Yeah, it's a one page thing. So that would be what you do for the day. So when I'm writing out my schedule, I'm thinking of the ideal situation that is my way to practice. What am I focusing on? Okay, right. How do I want to feel? How will I practice? It is about the body. And then what can I appreciate is my focus and what do I need to hear from myself is the dialog piece. So like for anybody listening, that would be the fastest way to get your energy and capacity up. I swear, I spend most of my time in coaching talking about why people can't do what's good for them. Do you know what I mean?
Jill: [00:45:32] Like, yeah, we have all kinds of excuses totally.
Sharon: [00:45:35] But like, it is not about your willpower. It is not about your discipline. It is about your capacity.
Jill: [00:45:40] I blame everything on my lack of discipline.
Sharon: [00:45:43] Your lack of discipline is your lack of capacity. And once I have more capacity, I have more discipline. And you know what they say self-discipline is self-love. Okay, so there's another shift for you, right? So like you can say like, I really want that, you know, third piece of pizza, but I'm gonna feel like shit if I have it. And I love you too much to put you in that position. I know you want to watch another episode of that show, but you're gonna be really tired tomorrow. And I love you too much to let you do that. So your discipline becomes your way for caring for yourself.
Jill: [00:46:13] I love that so much. I never thought of it like that. Yeah, I should have.
Sharon: [00:46:17] Like, you want to have a good day. You want to be able to move your body as we get older. Like that's why you're going to the gym.
Jill: [00:46:22] Yeah. But even if I would have had this podcast yesterday, I wouldn't have had potato chips before I went to bed.
Sharon: [00:46:27] I think it's also about being so gentle with ourselves, like it is not helpful to like, do things and then be mad at ourselves about it.
Jill: [00:46:34] Like, no, I enjoyed them, I did.
Sharon: [00:46:37] Well, there you go. You do you, you know, I think it's great. Enjoy it. Like if you're gonna eat it, enjoy it, enjoy it.
Jill: [00:46:43] Yes. That's true. Yeah. I was going to show you because you talked about your journal and how you got to write it down. It's a one page. So this is I don't know if you can see it, but it's called Eat That Frog. Have you ever heard of it? It's a book.
Sharon: [00:46:52] Yes.
Jill: [00:46:53] It's a great book. Yes.
Sharon: [00:46:54] Where you do the hardest thing first.
Jill: [00:46:55] Yes. It has like your tasks for the day. So we had made these on. Well, except this one's kind of dried on, but just on dry erase. We made them here at work and all my team members have one on their desk and that's what they write down. But I like the idea of, of yours because sometimes it is a mindset like that's great for work, but for one at home would be brilliant for sure.
Sharon: [00:47:14] I just think, honestly, we look at our day and we probably look at the hardest thing and dread it, you know? So to just kind of imagine how we want things to go. And that's what I'm saying, like being a small business owner is being a visionary.
Jill: [00:47:28] We are visionaries.
Sharon: [00:47:29] And you need energy to have like, I can see a compelling future when I have energy.
Jill: [00:47:34] You know, I have another thought on this as you talk about. So at the end of the day, I'm exhausted, 100% exhausted. Like when I go home, I'm pooped. And I always say to myself that I'm introverted and I am, and so I'm on all day, like I'm on all day, all day I'm on. So when I go home, I'm like, oh, right. But maybe there's more to it than that. Maybe I'm making excuses.
Sharon: [00:47:55] Okay, here's my favorite thing. Are you tired or are you low energy?
Jill: [00:47:59] Low energy?
Sharon: [00:48:01] Yes. Okay. So there's a distinction, right? Yeah. So like my, my mom, I'm from Nova Scotia, she used to travel to Cape Breton and she'd drive five hours and she'd come home and she'd say, oh, I'm so tired and I'm like, you've been sitting down for five hours. Like, I don't think you're tired. I think you've been driving, holding your body in a poor position, focused on things that could go wrong, speaking like shit to yourself, you know? So like, you've had five hours of low energy, you know, so if I'm low energy, I need to go for a walk. If I'm tired, I need to sleep. I will like default is like, yes, if you were a new mother or new parent or you have not slept like.
Jill: [00:48:35] Yeah.
Sharon: [00:48:36] There are times that you are physically tired. But I think we confuse. We just say at the end of the day, I'm so tired. But really you're, you're low energy. So like, I would suggest even start so slow. I'm going to go for a five minute walk after work. I'm going to go in the garden for five minutes. Like we're hitting that time where you can go do some weeding for a few minutes or whatever, right? But like, I'm going to do something that I like to do for five minutes because low energy needs something different than tired. But if we always say that we're tired, if we always say we're tired, then we just we just rest, you know? So like, I think it's almost trial and error, Like, do something for your energy and see if you feel better. That's how you'll know.
Jill: [00:49:15] I'm going to do that because it's different.
Sharon: [00:49:17] Go for a five minute walk. Call a friend.
Jill: [00:49:19] I always say I'm tired, but I'm not. I'm not going to be able to crawl into bed and go to sleep.
Sharon: [00:49:23] And I think that our body listens to the words that we're saying. My, my least favorite word in the entire dictionary is exhausted because you cannot say that word without emotionally adding, you know, exhausted. You don't say like, I'm a tiny bit exhausted today, you know? Like it comes with all the emotions, right? Yeah. And I swear, every single cell in my body then says, okay, boss. You know, so I would notice, Sharon, what you say to yourself when you come home. I'm so tired. I can't do anything. I need to rest versus this is my time. What do I want to do? How can I feel better? What do I what do I want to do?
Jill: [00:50:04] Interesting.
Sharon: [00:50:05] You know, so I do not think we came here to work all day and then feel tired at night. Like there's things that you like to do that you want to do and that is your time to do it. You know.
Jill: [00:50:15] There is.
Sharon: [00:50:15] So and I also think that journal is helpful because you need to write out all the things you have planned in the day, especially what you do after work.
Jill: [00:50:24] Okay. Because like right now, I don't know what to do after work. I just go home.
Sharon: [00:50:26] Okay, let's plan it. What are you gonna do? You're not gonna be tired because you talked to me today, so not gonna be tired.
Jill: [00:50:32] What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? I can't even really. Well, I could, that's a poor excuse. I got my two dogs in a new location. I wonder what they'd like to go for a walk. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna take my dogs for a walk and hope that they don't attack any neighbors or.
Sharon: [00:50:44] And you could even make it more fun by, like, putting on something to listen to, calling someone that's fun to talk to, you know, like, I think we want to make these things like the things that are good for us. We want to make them fun. Like I always say, if someone's not able to follow through with their like morning routine or whatever, it's probably because it's not fun enough.
Sharon: [00:51:04] And why, why not make it fun?
Jill: [00:51:06] Okay.
Sharon: [00:51:08] So like maybe a walk with the dogs is not as fun as a walk with the dogs while you're on the phone with your bestie, you know?
Jill: [00:51:14] Right? Yeah. Okay. Oh, my dogs are gonna wonder what's happening tonight when we get home. All those questions I think I got covered by taking care of your energy is actually the best way to support your community and team. I think we've touched on that. Probably how.
Sharon: [00:51:26] You lead yourself is how you lead others.
Jill: [00:51:29] How I lead.
Sharon: [00:51:29] Myself. Ian Chisholm says the conduct of a leader creates the atmosphere around them.
Jill: [00:51:34] Did tell me that.
Sharon: [00:51:36] Did he say it in his? Because I think about that all the time. But how do we create the conduct? How do we create our own conduct? Is how we manage our energy.
Jill: [00:51:45] It's okay, I love it. You guys basically speak the same language but different.
Sharon: [00:51:49] I feel like I'm the lead self and he's the lead others.
Jill: [00:51:52] Yeah. But you need to focus on what you're talking about and then listen to what Ian has to talk about. Also, you got to focus on yourself first before you can lead others.
Sharon: [00:52:01] Or I mean, we know the leaders that are not focusing on themselves. It is not a powerful, Sustainable place.
Jill: [00:52:08] It's even like we talked about earlier, like burnout happens. You can't have a growing business. You can't have a lucrative business. You can't support your team to the proper or your community. If you're exhausted and you're tired and you can't do what you're supposed to be doing as a leader.
Sharon: [00:52:22] And I do think opportunities come to you when you're on a high channel, opportunities that you couldn't imagine, you know?
Jill: [00:52:28] Yes. Or being able to see them.
Sharon: [00:52:30] Yeah. Like just being open to new ideas. It does not. If I am in survival mode, how am I going to pay payroll? I got to get this. Like, even if I'm in that space, that's not helpful. It's not going to it's not that that's not justified, but focusing on that all day is not helpful.
Jill: [00:52:46] Absolutely. Okay, so let's talk. Tell me how our listeners can get a hold of you if they need to chat with you.
Sharon: [00:52:54] Yes. So my website is Jill pain.ca. Also, you can find me on Instagram, B underscore a underscore dime. I've got lots of coaching programs I love to work with, especially small businesses, because I think if you can get your staff all kind of rowing in the same direction, it's it's easy because you've got small numbers, you know, versus big corporations, it's, it's more taxing, but this stuff can, yeah, make an impact very quickly.
Jill: [00:53:19] I want to just clarify for your website. So as JILL Guilpain PAYNE dot c a. Yes. Correct. Okay. All right. And then our editors will put those in the notes as well. So they can just click on that.
Sharon: [00:53:33] And there's also the book. The book is another way to, you know, I feel like a lot of people, I work with them corporately and then they're like, oh, I wish you could talk to my wife or my husband. And I'm like, now that that feels like what the book is for, you know? So it is a good, it is a good intro. It's a good starting point. There's a little journal at the back of the book, a little workbook, and there's a QR code that takes you to a digital dashboard that has the course.
Jill: [00:53:57] So sorry, what's the website for the book again.
Sharon: [00:54:00] The book is on my website. It looks like.
Jill: [00:54:02] This. Okay. Albeit I'm actually working on that. Okay. How long have you had that out for, Jill? Almost two years. Good for.
Sharon: [00:54:09] You. I wrote it when I was single, parenting a tiny child in a pandemic. I don't even know how it, you know, one of those things.
Jill: [00:54:17] That's so cool. Someday I'm going to write a book. I don't know what it's going to be on, but I'm going to write a book.
Sharon: [00:54:20] Oh, you let me know. I'll connect you with some people. I got you.
Jill: [00:54:23] That can help me write a book. Yeah. Like the editing?
Sharon: [00:54:25] Yeah.
Jill: [00:54:26] Okay, I'm gonna do that. I always tell my husband I'm gonna write a book as soon as you buy me a lake house. As soon as you buy me, you.
Sharon: [00:54:32] Can write in your. You'll have an office over the lake.
Jill: [00:54:35] Over the lake? Yeah, we're in big fuzzy slippers.
Sharon: [00:54:37] Write a book.
Jill: [00:54:38] Then I'll write a book. Like he's just gonna buy that for me.
Sharon: [00:54:40] It'll just come out of you there. Yeah.
Jill: [00:54:44] Okay. I think I'm gonna sign off. Anything that we missed for our listeners before we sign off. No.
Sharon: [00:54:49] That's it. I just think your energy is your only job. That's it.
Jill: [00:54:52] Mic drop with that one. Holy doodle.
Sharon: [00:54:54] That's it. Yep.
Jill: [00:54:55] That's perfect.
Sharon: [00:54:56] Focus on that and everything will work out.
Jill: [00:54:58] Okay. I'm going to ask our listeners to subscribe to this episode, share this episode, and to reach out for Jill to jill@jillpayne.ca to learn how to be a dime is how I how I have it. And then you can also purchase your book off your website or is it available on Amazon as well?
Sharon: [00:55:17] It's on the website, it's on Amazon, it's on Indigo.
Jill: [00:55:19] So we'll put those direct links on there as well as your website. Perfect. If you hit a learning curve with burnout or have a question about staying motivated or mindset that we just talked about today, how to flip that over a little bit to your advantage, please reach out to Jill. And also if you have a story that you'd like to share on this podcast, sometimes it's a learning curve that you've encountered or something that you're expert at. You would like to join us on our podcast. Please reach out to us. We'd love to have you as a guest on our podcast. And until next time, keep your energy high. I added that for you. Keep your energy high.
Sharon: [00:55:53] Be a dime.
Jill: [00:55:54] That's what I say. Stay curious and remember it's time for success. Thanks, everybody.
Sharon: [00:55:57] Thank you.