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Finding Joy is a podcast about what it means to truly live.
Because too many of us are building lives around who we think we should be instead of who we really are.
Hosted by speaker, leadership facilitator, coach, and author Leona deVinne, Finding Joy explores the conversations that help us reconnect with ourselves, find the courage to stop performing, and start living with authenticity, not apology.
Through honest conversations, powerful stories, and practical insights grounded in psychology, neuroscience, leadership, and lived experience, Leona explores what helps us live with greater clarity, confidence, courage, and meaning.
Some episodes feature ordinary people navigating extraordinary circumstances. Others unpack ideas around identity, resilience, burnout, confidence, boundaries, leadership, relationships and what it takes to create a life that actually feels like your own.
Because joy is not something we chase.
It is often what finds us when we finally own who we are.
Hi, I'm Leona, and welcome
back to Finding Your Joy Spot.
The place where we explore what it
really means to live and lead with
clarity, confidence, and courage.
And around here, joy isn't just
a feeling, it's a philosophy.
The philosophy of just own
you exactly who you are.
Today we're diving into a theme I've
been having some fun with in my own life
lately, and it comes with a question.
What if someone was watching
the movie of your life?
What would the audience
be screaming at you?
You know that moment in a scary movie
when the character hears a noise
and starts walking towards the door
to see what's outside, and you are
literally thinking, don't go out there.
But the character for some reason
goes outside in the dark anyways
and something bad happens.
I hate those moments and it seems
so obvious it's not the best choice.
But here's the thing.
In our own lives, we do something similar.
And of course that's the movies,
and nobody's gonna watch someone
lock themselves in a safe room
and play solitaire for two hours.
But what if your life is like a
movie and the audience is desperately
trying to tell you to stop hiding?
Stop playing small, stop pleasing,
performing, and perfecting.
A couple of weekends ago, I participated
in a family constellation workshop
and something profound emerged
from almost every single person.
One by one.
As we explored our deepest
patterns, the same core need
surfaced the need to be seen.
Every single human being
longs to be acknowledged and
loved for who we truly are.
It's as fundamental as breathing.
But here's what struck me, while the
women in the room long to be seen,
they also talked about playing small,
doing everything for everyone else, and
making themselves invisible at times.
I think maybe we've become
invisible superheroes.
We wear the be good, do
good, take care of others.
Cape so convincingly that nobody
really knows who we are underneath.
Sometimes we even forget ourselves.
I know I did.
Honestly, if my super hero Cape had an
emblem, it would be a doormat For years.
I defined my worth by what I did for
others and they could all step over me.
And the cost was devastating.
Nobody truly knew me, and I didn't either.
That's the paradox we wanna be
seen, but yet we hide ourselves.
We crave connection, but we only
let people connect with parts of us,
in my case, my superhero persona,
and we hide our authentic selves
because we're afraid of rejection.
Somewhere along the way, we convinced
ourselves that being needed is the
same as being seen or being loved.
That being indispensable is the
same as being valued, but it's not.
Imagine watching your life play out
on a screen and the audience isn't
quiet, just munching out on popcorn.
They are shouting at you.
Tell them what you
really thank, they yell.
Stop doing her work for you or for her.
Pardon me.
Say no to that request.
Ask for what you really want do it.
But just like the movie character, we
can't hear them over the noise of our
own people pleasing, perfecting, and
performing The Deadly Peas I call them.
What if the solution to feeling unseen
isn't to do more, but to show up?
Really show up as who you are?
And this isn't about becoming selfish.
It's about becoming visible.
It's about becoming real.
It's about letting people connect with
the actual you, not just the version
that makes their life easier, or at
least that's the story you make up.
Being seen requires courage.
It means showing up with your
imperfections, your boundaries,
your real opinions and needs.
It means believing that the
people worth keeping in your
life actually want to know you.
And isn't there some relief to that?
It starts with small acts of visibility.
Share your real opinion instead of
deferring, say, that doesn't work for me.
Instead of automatically accommodating,
express a need, instead of hoping
someone else will guess, set a boundary
instead of endlessly extending yourself.
Even now, I'm not perfect at this far
from perfect, and I never will be.
I don't wear the doormat cape anymore
though, unless it looks awesome with
my outfit and not the doormat cap.
I still find myself saying yes when
I wanna say no or staying quiet when
I fear the outcome of speaking up.
And that's okay.
There's grace for us all.
This isn't about perfection,
it's about awareness.
It's about making small,
brave tweaks each time.
We're ready because here's what happens.
The audience is still screaming
except now they're cheering for you.
As you show up, speak up and
stop hiding the world needs you.
Can you hear them?
Some things to consider
writing about or talking about?
Where are you hiding
behind a helpful persona?
What parts of yourself are you
still keeping silent or hidden?
If your life were a movie.
Where would the audience be screaming
for you to speak up or show up?
Where are you overextending
yourself instead of being authentic?
I've included these in the show notes.
You could take one a
day to journal through.
Take some time with those questions.
They might show you where your audience
is desperate for you to step into
clarity, confidence, and courage.
Thank you.
For joining me on Finding Your Joy spot.
Remember, the audience of your
life isn't just screaming.
They're ready to cheer you on when you
show up as yourself just owning you.
That's the joy spot the world needs.
And if this episode has resonated
with you, I'd love if you subscribed,
left a review or shared it with a
friend who needs some encouragement.
And if you're craving more, join
me in person at the Just Own
You Retreat on October 18th.
I'll put some information in the show
notes as well as if you're looking for an
opportunity to pause, I'll put our next
session of a quiet place, a time for you
to reflect and restore and reset again.
Thank you for joining me
today on the Joy Spot.