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The happiness in retirement podcast is a holistic financial planning show that teaches you how to maximize your wealth and your happiness, and its for anyone who wants to squeeze all the juice out of their life - and their money.
Welcome to the Happiness in Retirement podcast, where
we help you turn your retirement dreams into reality. Each
week, we'll dive into smart financial strategies, lifestyle
tips, and expert insights to help you build a fulfilling and
secure retirement. Whether you're planning ahead or
already enjoying retirement, this is your go-to place
for inspiration and practical advice. So sit
back, relax, and let's make your golden years the
best years. All
information has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, but
its accuracy is not guaranteed. There is no representation or
warranty as to the current accuracy, reliability, or
completeness of, nor liability for, decisions based on
Hey everyone, Bill Del Sette here. Thank you for joining
me for this edition of the Happiness in Retirement
podcast, because the road to retirement should be an adventure, definitely
not a survival strategy. As you probably know, if you listen
to this podcast, that we feel, I feel that one of
the biggest determinants of financial success has
really nothing to do with numbers and more to do with your mindset.
And to that end, there is a great book that
I read recently. by Barry
Michaels and Phil Stutz called The Tools. And
today we're going to use some of the concepts in that book,
The Tools, to help us become better in
our financial lives. But before we get into that,
who is Phil Stutz? Well, he is a prominent American
psychiatrist and author celebrated for his dynamic action-oriented
therapeutic methods. Formerly a prison psychiatrist at
Rikers Island, he spent over four decades in private practice,
gaining global recognition for his unique psychotherapeutic framework
and his role in the 2022 Netflix documentary
Stutz. In essence, Phil believes that traditional psychiatry
is often limited to treating surface-level symptoms rather
than addressing underlying root causes. So he sought
to develop actionable techniques for his patients, and alongside
his co-author Barry Michaels, he developed a results-oriented practice
utilizing visual tools and the The five primary
techniques include something called reversal of desire, and
that's really leaning into pain or consciously choosing to
lean into discomfort instead of avoiding it.
We're gonna talk a lot more about that in a future podcast. how
that relates to financial planning. Active love, another tool, transforming
negative emotions into feelings of acceptance and love.
Again, believe it or not, that does relate to financial planning. The
next tool is in our authority in the book, The Tools, and that's
building inner confidence to actively counteract fear
and self-doubt. Man, that's really important when it comes to
managing investments, especially in downturns, no? something
called the grateful flow, and that's shifting your
focus to what you are feeling grateful for in real
time when you're feeling bad about whatever it may be. There
is one more tool, and this one we use all the time in life
planning, although we don't call it as such, jeopardy, and
that's visualizing potential losses or threats as
a way to motivate and build. For instance, looking back, visualizing
yourself, you know, on a rocking chair on your back
porch at 90 years old and thinking about the person you may
have been or decisions you could have made. In other words,
looking at what you might regret. So he's co-authored several
highly successful books detailing his techniques again. The
one here is called The Tools. There's another one called Coming Alive. And
finally, another one called True and False Magic. Now,
I highly recommend the 2022 documentary called
Stutz, which is on Netflix. This was directed by his patient
and his friend Jonah Hill. The film offers viewers a
deeper look into both his groundbreaking techniques and his own personal journey,
including his experiences navigating Parkinson's disease,
and you can read more about his career in therapeutic philosophy directly
on his official website called Phil Stutz or explore his professional profile
on Omega Institute. Okay, so that's Phil Stutz.
I highly recommend reading the book. The Tools. Highly
recommend reading it or listening to it. Now what does all of this have
to do with financial planning? Well, in the book The
Tools, there are three constants that Phil talks about.
And those three constants, everybody is subject
to the constants. No one is exempt from these three things. And
these three things are work, uncertainty
and pain. So when people think about retirement
planning, they usually think about their investments, social security taxes
and income planning. And of course those things are incredibly important
and we do spend a ton of time helping people navigate them. But
we have to consider that we can never eliminate work, uncertainty,
and pain from our lives. Now, at first, that sounds almost depressing, right?
But I actually find it incredibly helpful. And here's why. Once
we stop trying to eliminate these three realities, we
can stop fighting life and start living it. The old saying,
anytime you try and fight reality, you lose, every
single time. And I think that lesson is especially important in
retirement and retirement planning. You see, retirement
planning is not the end of work. Many people spend 40 years telling
themselves, If I can just get into retirement, then life will finally become,
quote, easy. The image is relaxing on the beach with no responsibilities,
no schedules, no stress, no work. Yeah,
we all wish. But here's what most retirees discover.
Retirement doesn't eliminate work. It simply changes the kind of
work that we do. Instead of working for a paycheck, you
begin working on your health. Or do you work on your marriage more? Or
do you work on your friendships? Really, really important if you've listened to
this podcast. Relationships matter a lot throughout
life and are highly correlated to good health. How
about working on staying physically active or working on your purpose?
Do you work on becoming the kind of grandparent maybe your grandchildren will
remember? Or do you work on keeping your mind sharp? The
happiest retirees I've met aren't avoiding work, they're doing meaningful
work. That's a huge difference. Purpose isn't something you retire
from, it's something you retire to. Okay, the second
constant, and isn't this a big one? This one is particularly difficult
for people who love planning. And if you've been listening to this podcast,
There's a pretty good chance you're someone who likes planning, right? I
mean, you want to know, will my investments last? Will markets cooperate? Will
taxes go up? What about healthcare or long-term care or even inflation?
Now, no matter how well your financial plan is, you cannot eliminate
uncertainty, and this is a big issue. This is a big issue.
I can't remember who the Western Buddhist teacher,
can't remember his name, but in one of his presentations, he
talks about how in America, we spend X billions of dollars on
security a couple of years ago. And then he says,
good luck. The point being, we can't eliminate uncertainty in
life, no matter what we do. If we become too conservative with
our investments, we may be shooting ourselves in the foot. I mean, we
may avoid volatility. but there's always the chance, a
good chance in my humble opinion, that you may not earn enough to
live comfortably throughout your retirement. You've gotta earn enough to keep up with taxes
and inflation. What about long-term care? Will you
need care? Inflation, is inflation gonna be 2% or 7%? You
see, no matter how well your financial plan is built, you cannot eliminate uncertainty.
How about the markets, huh? Good luck with that. The Market Timers
Hall of Fame is still empty. People think they can eliminate uncertainty by
getting out of the market or getting back in. You've got to be right
twice. When to get out and when to get back in. How about
governments, huh? They surprise us. Life will surprise us.
Health will surprise us. Relationships will surprise us.
You see, one of the greatest gifts of financial planning is uncertainty. It's
flexibility. A good retirement plan isn't built on perfect predictions.
It's built on to survive imperfect outcomes.
I often tell clients that confidence doesn't come from knowing exactly what's going
to happen. Confidence comes from knowing you'll be okay, even
if things don't go according to plan. That's a completely different
mindset. So, work, always gonna be working
at something. Hopefully, that's not a bad thing. You
want to stay busy. Uncertainty will always be present
in life. By the way, Pema Chodron, another Buddhist monk
or philosopher, I guess you could say, has written quite a few books. She talks
about how we don't know if something that may seem
on the surface bad in our lives, a divorce, losing
your job, whether or not that's ultimately bad or good. You see, a
lot of things happen in our life that we seem to think are really
horrible. but they open a new door in life, and
that uncertainty can actually be a very, very good
thing. We just, we don't know, and we'll never know. And
so how we deal with uncertainty and the reality of life,
and especially when it comes to investing, dealing with that uncertainty and
not making bad choices as a result of that uncertainty will
really help you do what you need to do to lead a
financially successful life. Okay, the third constant, oh
boy, pain. Nobody likes this. The Tools,
in Phil Stutz's book, is called The Reversal of
Desire, and he tells the story of, I think he
was in college, it might have been high school, where there was
a star running back, I think, and this guy was just crazy, and
he was just incredibly an amazing athlete, and
Phil asked him, he's like, geez, how do you do it? And he said, I
love pain. He said, I love pain. When I
see myself in a situation on the field, and
I know I've got to do some hard things. He said, I
tell myself I love pain and pain sets
me free. Kind of crazy, huh? But it's true. Anything in
life that is worth anything comes with a
lot of work and maybe even some pain. Exercise, the
pain of having to eat right. Man, that's a big one for me. Love
those pastries, you know? And so pain
is just a reality Life, and by the way, as again
the saying goes, you can have the pain associated with doing the
things that you need to do to be successful, or you can have the pain
of regret later. You choose what you would rather have. You
see, retirement doesn't exempt us from pain either. Our bodies age, friends
become ill, parents pass away, sometimes, sadly,
spouses pass away, children struggle, markets decline.
Dream vacations get canceled. Life doesn't suddenly become painless
because you've accumulated enough money. In fact, one of the biggest surprises
for many retirees is realizing that money solves many problems,
but not all of them. Money can buy healthcare, but
it can't guarantee health. Money can buy a beautiful home, but
it can't guarantee a happy family. Money can buy experiences, but
it can't stop time. And this realization isn't meant to
discourage us. It's meant to help us appreciate what money can
do and what it can't do. So you might be thinking, well, Bill,
if work uncertainty and pain are unavoidable, why do we spend so much
time planning? Well, here's why. Because planning changes how
we experience these things. Financial planning doesn't eliminate uncertainty.
In fact, it reduces unnecessary uncertainty. Saving
doesn't eliminate hardship. In fact, it might create some hardship
now in the present, but it gives you options when those hard times come
down the road. Insurance doesn't eliminate tragedy. It
softens the financial consequences of those tragedies. Diversification
doesn't prevent market declines, but it helps you survive them,
having the right money mindset. is so important,
that reversal of desire tool in the tools book.
I love pain. It's kind of how we manage money at Dell Steady. We view
every market decline as an opportunity. Now, maybe that's not always
going to be true. Past performance doesn't tell us anything. Nobody knows
the future. So that's the uncertainty. So we want to help
you survive these bear markets and get through them. We
don't want to try and avoid uncertainty. Estate
planning doesn't prevent death, but it makes life easier for the people you
love. Planning isn't about creating a perfect life, it's about
becoming more resilient when life isn't perfect so
you can survive those things. So here's
where I think this becomes super powerful. Many people delay
happiness. I'll be happy when, maybe when I retire, when
my portfolio reaches a certain number. When the market recovers,
or when everything settles down, when has that ever happened? But
what if things never completely settle down, and if uncertainty is
permanent? It is a permanent condition, isn't it? What if pain is
permanent? Well, the happiness has to be found somewhere else, and
it has to be found in purpose, relationships, gratitude,
service, growth, and experiences. All those things that we have control
over, we have control over how our relationships go.
Maybe not 100%, maybe 90%. How about
expressing gratitude and being grateful for the things we have
instead of the things that we don't have. Running and chasing things.
You know, gratitude comes in times of hardship. In
2008, it seems to me that the world was more grateful
for the things that we did have. How about the COVID crisis? I think that
created a lot of gratitude. How about finding happiness
in growth? Pain. The pain of growth. The pain of studying. The
pain of working hard. The pain of working out.
The pain of saving. How's that, huh? Saving enough.
The pain of watching your portfolio decline by 30 or
40 percent. hopefully temporarily, right?
But those are the kinds of things that create growth, hopefully. How
about experiences? Those things remain available regardless of
what the stock market does this week, this month, this year, or
the next 10 years. So one of the biggest mistakes I see is treating financial
planning as the destination. But financial planning should support your
life. It's the vehicle. The goal isn't dying with the biggest account
balance. If anyone has listened to this podcast long enough, you
know that we're big believers in spending down
your wealth over the course of time. Money as a means to an end to
create happiness, meaning, and purpose. The goal is to create a
life that's rich in meaning, and money is simply one of the tools that
helps you get there. That's why we name this podcast and
the company, if you will, happiness in retirement. Not
maximum net worth in retirement, because happiness isn't measured in
dollars. It's measured in how intentionally we spend our time, how
deeply we love and care for the people around us, how healthy
we remain, and whether we wake up every day excited about
what's gonna happen and not letting the circumstances of life dictating
how we feel. It's in our control. So here's
a challenge. I'd like to leave you with three questions. First, what
meaningful work are you doing in retirement? And I'm not talking about paid work,
I'm talking about purposeful work. Second, where are you
demanding certainty that life simply can't provide? Is that
in your advisor and your investments? Can a friend, a
family member? What pain are you resisting that might actually
be helping you grow? Man, working out, for sure exercise.
or the pain of having to eat healthy and reduce
calories, or the pain of working a 60-hour week. Well, hopefully you
love what you do, but if you don't, the pain of saving,
all these things. And these aren't easy questions, but they're worth
thinking about. What pain are you resisting that might actually help
you to grow? Because retirement isn't about escaping In life, it's about learning
to live more fully. So, thank you for joining me
today. If you'd enjoy this episode, I'd love it if you'd hit
subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who's approaching retirement
or already living it. And remember, the happiest retirees aren't
the ones who avoid work, uncertainty, or pain. They're the ones who embrace
them with courage, wisdom, and purpose. Because
true financial freedom isn't the absence of life's challenges. It's
having the confidence, resilience, and resources to keep living
well in spite of them. Pick up the book, Phil Stutz and
Barry Michaels, The Tools, great book, read it, listen to
it, apply the tools. I think they can
help you a lot in your financial planning journey.
Until next time, I'm Bill Del Sette reminding you that retirement planning goes
far beyond money. It's about creating a life filled with health, purpose, meaningful
relationships, unforgettable experiences, and ultimately, happiness
in retirement. Until next time,
That's it for today's episode of the Happiness in Retirement Program
podcast. We hope you found some valuable insights to
help you create the retirement you deserve. If you enjoyed this
episode, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and
share it with someone who's planning for their future. For more tips and
resources, visit happinessinretirement.com or
the Del Sette Capital Management Facebook page. Until next
time, here's to a happy, healthy, and financially secure
retirement. Del
Sette Capital Management, LLC. Del Sette is
a registered investment advisor. Advisory services are only
offered to clients or prospective clients where Del Sette and its
representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. For
additional information, please visit our website at www.happinessinretirement.com.