The Connected Mom

Get you copy of Cultivating a Deeper Connection in a Lonely World

Such a sweet episode! Daughter-Mom team, Calyn and Blythe Daniel, join us to talk about friendships...specifically with tween girls. Tween relationships can be a little sticky--yikes--so listen in! Together they wrote a book "Let's Be Friends: A Tween Devotional on Finding and Keeping Friendships." We enjoy conversation around being brave to make new friends, standing up for ourselves in friendships, knowing one's worth, reaching out to new people, and being a light in friendships. They also discuss the qualities of good friends and the lessons learned from writing the book.

Order their devotional book here:
Let's Be Friends: A Tween Devotional on Finding and Keeping Friendships

Chapters
00:00
Introduction
01:14
The Impact of Loneliness on Kids
02:38
Introducing the Guest and the Book
03:25
Challenges for Tween Girls in Friendships
07:08
Standing Up for Who You Are in Friendships
09:05
Importance of Knowing Your Worth in Friendships
11:23
Challenges in Friendships and Identity
13:44
Reaching Out to New People
16:28
Involvement in Activities and Making Friends
18:46
Sharing Faith and Being a Light in Friendships
20:27
Qualities of Good Friends
22:10
Loyalty in Friendships
24:46
Advice for Shy and Introverted Girls
27:31
Supporting Daughters in Friendships
29:00
Lessons Learned from Writing the Book
31:42
Closing Prayer

Get you copy of Cultivating a Deeper Connection in a Lonely World

Creators & Guests

Host
Becky Harling
Author of How to Listen So Your Kids Will talk and several others. Podcast host of The Connected Mom. A dynamic speaker who is passionate about Jesus.
Guest
Blythe Daniel
Mother to twins and their big sis, wife to Art, literary agent and publicist to authors and organizations.

What is The Connected Mom?

Form a deeper connection with God, more empathetically connection with other Moms, and more intentional connection with your child.

Becky Harling (00:02.704)
We're officially recording, girls. Welcome to the Connected Mom podcast where we have real conversations helping you to connect more deeply with God, more empathically with your fellow moms, and more intentionally with your child. I'm Becky Harling, your host, and I have with me today my amazing co-host, Sarah, which I...

mean that for real if you're listening. Like she's truly amazing. She scans rooftops, putting up Christmas lights. She's raising two little boys. I mean, she's incredible. Welcome, Sarah.

Sarah Wildman (00:36.446)
Thanks for watching!

Sarah Wildman (00:44.622)
Well, thank you, Becky. Yes, don't have OSHA check me on safety for children on the roof, but we're having a fun time this Christmas season. Well, goodness, Becky, you know, I think, I have in my brain that you're writing a book about loneliness that's coming out later next year. But, you know, one thing that doesn't just affect adults, loneliness also affects kids, right? And we see study after study that...

Becky Harling (00:52.026)
Yes.

Becky Harling (01:08.643)
Hmm.

Sarah Wildman (01:14.426)
A lot of different factors are contributing to that, but today we kind of want to talk about that and talk about maybe how to get kids invested in good friendships, right?

Becky Harling (01:24.44)
Yeah. And I think it is such a strong felt need because you're right. First of all, I am finishing up a book on loneliness that will come out in 2024 called Cultivating Deeper Connections in a Lonely World. And that's targeted towards parents, towards moms, towards single women and married women alike, working women and non-working women. However, today we have a guest who is really

Sarah Wildman (01:33.475)
Okay.

Sarah Wildman (01:37.46)
Mmm.

Sarah Wildman (01:46.855)
Mm.

Becky Harling (01:52.24)
talking to teenage and tween age girls. And I love that because after COVID, research shows us that a lot of kids are struggling. They have forgotten how to make friends and they don't know how to keep strong friendships. And so today our guest is my dear friend, Blythe Daniel and her daughter, Kaylin. And I love this because they wrote a book to-

together called Let's Be Friends, Finding and Keeping Strong Friendships. And I think it's such a strong felt need, as I've said, because I know I have a middle school granddaughter and lots of you that are listening probably have middle school daughters or sons.

but especially the girls today we want to focus in on. So Kaylin, I'm going to introduce her first life. Hopefully that's okay with you. Kaylin is, how old are you now, Kaylin? Are you 12 or 13? You're 14. Okay, 14 years old, but she started this book when she was 12. Way to be accomplished, girl. And she also is an accomplished competitive gymnast.

Blythe Daniel (02:46.372)
Thank you.

Blythe Daniel (02:50.578)
I'm 13. Yes.

Sarah Wildman (03:01.88)
Wow.

Becky Harling (03:05.696)
She loves cooking. I might hire you sometime, Kaylin, because I'm getting kind of tired of cooking. But, and she is an author. She's a twin. She has a twin brother, Will, who also has written a book about jokes. And so, and then we have with her today, her mama.

Sarah Wildman (03:20.375)
Yes.

Becky Harling (03:25.496)
who is my dear friend, Blythe Daniel. Blythe is a literary agent. She's also an author herself. And she definitely has empowered her kids to write and bring their voice to the literary field. So, Caitlin, I have a question for you. Your mom says that you started writing this book when you were 12 years old. What made you want to write this book?

Sarah Wildman (03:38.642)
Mm-hmm.

Blythe Daniel (03:52.95)
I decided I wanted to write this book because I just saw how much people, not only in my school, but just others online were just like suffering with their friendships. They just felt as if nothing was working out and that they didn't have any friends. And although I experienced it myself, I don't like I fully understood how it was until I heard about others. And then I experienced a little bit of it, but it wasn't like too upsetting for me.

Becky Harling (04:22.169)
Mm.

Blythe Daniel (04:22.664)
other stories, I figured that this was the time that I needed to write this book. And I felt so strong that I needed to write this, so I started writing with my mom and she really helped me bring this idea to life.

Becky Harling (04:37.392)
I love that. And I love your empathy for other kids that are struggling in the friendship area because I do feel like a lot of them are struggling.

Sarah Wildman (04:48.032)
No kidding. So Blythe, what played into Kaylyn wanting to share this message with her peers, you think?

Blythe Daniel (04:55.354)
I asked her at one point, you know, Kaylin, are there some topics that you want to talk about in this book? And what would those be? And we just started outlining what would the topics be? What Kaylin feel felt like she could speak to from her position as being someone in that tween world and

I added in some things from maybe a mom's perspective, maybe a little further down the road about living your life in the years ahead, faith-filled with God in the center of your life. And so we had a really good time, like just thinking about the topics and who would write which topics. So we would put a name next to a topic that we felt strongly about writing. And I would say that, you know what, two thirds of the book is all Kaylin and maybe a third of it me,

We really did just kind of lean on each other and talk about things that were hard in school and with friendships. And then even after the book.

started in the production phase with the publisher, we would have to go back to the book and remind ourselves of things that God had showed us about his truths when it comes to friendships. Because we were struggling even writing sometimes. Like things would happen to me or to Kaylin in our friendships and we would have to remind each other of, yeah, this is what God has said about us and this is what God's word says. And so we even encourage each other in the process. And I think

Becky Harling (06:15.017)
Mm-hmm.

Bye.

Becky Harling (06:21.109)
Hmm.

Blythe Daniel (06:30.148)
I've said that not just daughters, but mothers struggle with, with friendships. And I know Becky's going to address that more and talking about the feelings of loneliness and isolation and separation and for, for women, but then for kids, there is a lot that goes into feeling like you have good friends. And as the subtitle is about finding and keeping strong friendships, we wanted to give readers like 30 different topics that they could go to.

Sarah Wildman (06:34.548)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Harling (06:35.972)
Mm-hmm.

Blythe Daniel (06:57.378)
and there's readings, there's some questions and prompts, but that was our hope was to encourage tween girls and just let them know that they aren't alone.

Becky Harling (06:57.433)
Hmm.

Becky Harling (07:08.26)
Yeah, I really, really love that. I know I keep saying that, but I truly do love it. And Kaylin, what do you see as some of the particular challenges for tween girls, let's say middle schoolers or early junior high, what do you think are some unique challenges for girls in the friendship department?

Blythe Daniel (07:31.306)
I think... Yeah.

I'd say that one of the main challenges I've seen is girls separating from each other because they found a new friend that they think will be better for them than the other friend and so I see like friendships splitting apart and just girls left with nobody because I mean it's one it's hard because you've held these friends so close to you that it can be hard to just let them go because you want them to stay by you.

Sarah Wildman (07:44.862)
Mm-hmm.

Blythe Daniel (08:02.966)
but also because it can be hard to put yourself out there and be available for others. And so a lot of times just girls get lonely after their friends leave because they're nervous of putting themselves out there after a hard friendship. And...

Becky Harling (08:21.456)
Hmm. I like that you said that. I want to go back to something you said before we go on to the next question. I love that you said it's hard for girls to put themselves out there. So what do you mean by girls putting themselves out there? What does that look like in a tween girl's life?

Blythe Daniel (08:41.462)
I'd say it would be meeting new people and talking to people you've seen around but you've never actually wanted to go up and say hi to them and ask you questions about themselves. And so it's basically putting yourself in new positions, in new places to try and get new friends.

Becky Harling (08:54.544)
Mm.

Becky Harling (09:02.866)
Mm, I love that. Yeah.

Sarah Wildman (09:05.331)
That takes a lot of bravery, doesn't it? To be, to stand up. That's good. So this next question is kind of about that. Kaylyn, why do you think it's important to help girls know how to stand up for who they are and what they deserve in friendships?

Blythe Daniel (09:07.342)
Thank you.

Becky Harling (09:08.145)
Mm-hmm.

Blythe Daniel (09:23.69)
I think it's important for people to stand up for who they are because a lot of times we can be deceived by what pressures other people put on us, how they want us to look a certain way, act a certain way, and we can forget what God says we are and what His truths are compared to what other people think the truth is. And so people just get blindsided and then they don't realize what actually is happening

Sarah Wildman (09:44.56)
Mm-hmm.

Blythe Daniel (09:54.464)
and it happens a lot when friends are leaving because girls are just mean sometimes I mean it's hard to say but girls can just be mean because just a drama and wanting to feel enough and I think when you stand up to them and say no this is who I am it might break your friendship but I mean God knew it

Becky Harling (10:02.092)
Mm-hmm.

Sarah Wildman (10:03.13)
Yeah.

Becky Harling (10:10.378)
Mm-hmm.

Blythe Daniel (10:23.524)
was not good for you, that this was a bad situation for you to be in because these friends are deceiving you and making you think that you are not who you actually are because

Sarah Wildman (10:33.511)
Mm.

Blythe Daniel (10:34.278)
The enemy will work through people that you thought cared about you and thought, oh maybe these girls are christians so they're good for me. But the enemy works through anyone and it can be at any moment and you don't know when it's going to happen. And so you really need to make sure that you are still holding to God's truths instead of people's truths because you can't rely on them.

Becky Harling (10:51.696)
Mmm.

Hmm. You are so articulate. I think we need to get you out on the speaking circuit, you know, because you are so articulate. And that is exactly true. Yeah. As I'm thinking about this and some of the challenges that girls face in their friendship, I mean, there are cliques, right? And there's just rudeness and competitiveness. But, and then, you know, I've heard from girls that

Sarah Wildman (10:55.102)
Hmm. Yes.

Blythe Daniel (10:57.198)
Thank you.

Blythe Daniel (11:04.565)
Oh man.

Sarah Wildman (11:04.806)
Well said, well said.

Becky Harling (11:23.852)
You know, in school, a lot of wonky things are happening. I heard about one school where a lot of the kids are identifying now as animals. So girls are going through the hall barking and I'm like, okay, so what are some of the greatest challenges that you see, Kaylin, we are going to get to YouTube live, but I'm really interested. I love her thoughts on this. So.

Blythe Daniel (11:45.642)
that you're talking to Kailin. I could, this is great. I know, I think you should focus on her. Yeah, she's got, yeah.

Becky Harling (11:52.848)
Okay. Well, she's doing great. So, Kaylin, what do you see as some of the biggest challenges like in this? I don't know. It seems like it's a wonky season kind of for friendships and for girls and the pressures they face.

Sarah Wildman (12:08.37)
Mm.

Blythe Daniel (12:08.798)
I think especially right now I've seen it just it's all over the news and stuff but there's just a major identity loss and not like basically girls and women because this society will pressure us to feel as if oh we're not if we're not this person then we are not worthy of being a woman or we're not being.

Becky Harling (12:17.901)
Mm.

Blythe Daniel (12:32.078)
or being a girl because we don't look like this. And, you know, obviously with all the transgender and gay stuff, it's really hard to still feel like I am a girl and I'm a woman who.

Becky Harling (12:35.161)
Hmm.

Blythe Daniel (12:46.258)
is strong in Jesus, it can be hard to just lose sight of who God made us all to be because especially now people, they don't want to think about truth. They just want to think about all the lies because I truly, I just haven't been thinking about this so much that there's so much spiritual warfare going on between women and there's just a huge attack on us. And so I think people are just losing their identity because they were being such

Becky Harling (12:48.399)
Mm.

Becky Harling (12:59.566)
Hmm.

Becky Harling (13:11.546)
Mm.

Blythe Daniel (13:16.112)
attacked by the devils.

Becky Harling (13:17.252)
Hmm. Yeah, that's a really good answer. So let's say, let me throw out a hypothetical situation to you. You know, you have your group of friends at school and maybe a new girl comes to the school and you want to put yourself out there, you want to take initiative. Where would you recommend that somebody start?

Blythe Daniel (13:44.496)
Mm.

I think it depends on how you see people treating the new girl. Like how does she, how is she responding to anybody who approaches her? Maybe it's a teacher as well. Like how do you, how is she number one doing academically? Do you see her struggling? Do you see her fitting in just fine? I mean, it's hard to put yourself fitting in number one, which is a different topic, but is it, is she facing any challenges?

Becky Harling (14:00.313)
Mm-hmm.

Blythe Daniel (14:16.18)
with that because if she is and I suggest that you maybe try and talk to her but you need to also remember to protect yourself at the same time.

Becky Harling (14:25.422)
Mm.

Blythe Daniel (14:27.85)
One thing might be, like if you sense that she's struggling in a subject, maybe you have a class with that person and you could say, hey, would you wanna study during, you know, flex time, break time, or, you know, maybe give each other your phone numbers at some point and just say, hey, if you ever wanna talk through our assignments, that might be one thing. And then another thing too that I've watched, Kaylyn really be able to make new friends when she talks about putting yourself out

there is that she's gotten involved in band at school. And that's a whole other set of friends than just friends that you have class with or friends that you hang out with on the weekend, that you're a part of something together. So whether your child, if you're listening and you're a homeschooling mom or your child is maybe hybrid school, getting your child into places that they can meet new friends is sometimes hard for us moms because we want our kids to always have

Becky Harling (15:06.957)
Mm-hmm.

Blythe Daniel (15:27.764)
this little group of people that they can be friends with, but watching her make friends with people in this outside group and there have been new people that have come in and I've watched you just talk about your common interests that you have. Like, hey, I noticed that you're playing this instrument. How long have you been playing this instrument? We do. We put together about 20 questions that we have in the back of our book.

Sarah Wildman (15:50.11)
Hmm.

Becky Harling (15:50.861)
Mmm.

Blythe Daniel (15:51.974)
Let's be friends and it's questions that girls can ask friends either new friends or current friends that maybe they just you just get stumped sometimes you just don't know what to say to Someone and you just you run out of ideas. And so we put some ideas in there, but

Becky Harling (16:04.516)
Hmm

Blythe Daniel (16:10.858)
I do think that Kaylyn's right that like a lot of times when we see somebody new to just acknowledge like, hey, you know, where like where is this person maybe needing to have a friend come in their life? Maybe it is socially or academically, but those are good ideas that she had. Yeah.

Becky Harling (16:28.796)
Yeah, I love that. And I love that you included questions in the back of your book, you know, and something you said, Blythe, I want to go back to a little bit, because I realize as Christian parents, we do want to protect our kids, right? And yet our kids also need to learn how to share their faith. And so in order for them to share their faith, they have to be involved in things outside perhaps of our...

churches or our homes. And, you know, I wonder what that has looked like in your life, Kaylin, just as far as like, I'm assuming your friends know that you are a believer in Jesus. And, you know, do opportunities like that come up for you in these different activities you're involved in? Because you're involved in gymnastics and in band and school, obviously, and all these things.

Blythe Daniel (17:07.854)
Mm-hmm.

Blythe Daniel (17:24.278)
Do a mouthful. Yeah, those things come out.

Oh yeah. I think, yeah, I just see how you can just really tell about people's qualities and their characteristics in those settings because I know in gymnastics either I have girls on my team who are really working hard and want to do well and there's girls that you know that they don't want those same qualities they're just rather just want to be there just because they

Becky Harling (17:29.06)
Hehehehe

Blythe Daniel (17:56.426)
try and put any effort in. So I think you can just really tell about those people's qualities in those settings. And as well, I just, yeah, I just feel like I've also met some really good people through those settings who just have the same values as me. And I've watched you like be able to share when people, because she's had some injuries in, in gymnastics and some reasons that she's had to kind of

Becky Harling (18:12.73)
Hmm.

Sarah Wildman (18:13.042)
Hmm.

Blythe Daniel (18:23.662)
pull back at times in gymnastics, but she'll still go. And people will be like, how do you do this when I'm sure you're disappointed? And I've seen Kaylin just say, hey, well, my faith helps me through. And so there's those moments where people do get to see disappointments that happen. And I think that people are watching to see how we handle.

Becky Harling (18:32.709)
Mmm.

Blythe Daniel (18:46.706)
and to see how teenagers handle disappointment and struggle. And when they see something that's different, they sometimes will even ask you like, how do you not get so mad about that? Or how are you doing through this situation? And then she can say, well, yeah, it's really my faith in God that's allowed me to not totally fall apart right now. So yeah, like you said, Becky, when we put ourselves in those situations with our kids, learning how to

Becky Harling (18:47.227)
Mm.

Becky Harling (18:57.417)
Yeah.

Blythe Daniel (19:14.806)
be friends with other people and at the right moment, share a tidbit, something that sparks something about who you are and your faith in Christ because the world is looking, we know that. We know that they're searching. We know that kids are struggling and asking questions and looking for attention. And when we have our children in those places where they can be a light in a dark world, we are

Becky Harling (19:29.776)
Mm-hmm.

Blythe Daniel (19:41.45)
doing what we've been called to do, which is to go into the world and make disciples. And so I do encourage people to find healthy places for their children, whether it's volunteering somewhere or being a part of an activity or a club or something where they're able to interact with other people that you normally wouldn't be around maybe.

Becky Harling (19:55.17)
Mmm.

Becky Harling (20:02.727)
Mm.

Sarah Wildman (20:04.106)
So good. Okay, Kaylin, I want you to think for a second about some of your closest friends, okay? The ones that you don't have to name them, but some of us are a little bit farther away from 14, so we have to remember what it's like to be your age when we're listening. But what are some of the ways you would describe those friends are good friends to you? What makes them a good friend?

Blythe Daniel (20:14.327)
Yeah.

Becky Harling (20:27.449)
Mm.

Blythe Daniel (20:30.446)
I would say that they just have a passion just to strive to be a good friend towards me.

They always are there when I'm struggling with something. And especially when one of my friends, she just, she wants these, the opportunities that I want, she wants those same opportunities for me to happen so bad. And she wants the best for me in life. And she wants, she just keeps bragging on me and just praising me for all that I've accomplished in my life. And I think she just, they just always want to be,

Becky Harling (21:02.82)
Mmm.

Blythe Daniel (21:09.348)
supportive of me and how the opportunities that I want, they might be different from theirs, but they're still gonna cheer me on and wish the best for me.

Sarah Wildman (21:18.803)
Mmm, that's good.

Becky Harling (21:21.224)
I really, I love hearing you talk about that. I'm thinking about my own granddaughter who is a little younger than you and recently had surgery and one of her best friends came over and hung out with her all day and my granddaughter couldn't talk because it was mouth surgery. But it was okay because they were just there close enough where...

Sarah Wildman (21:38.981)
Oh.

Becky Harling (21:44.964)
they were just able to be together, you know, and play some games. And, you know, she brought over some little prizes for my granddaughter, you know, just as comfort, you know. And I think the things you're talking about, cheering for one another in friendship and encouraging one another and bringing comfort to one another and, you know, loyalty in friendship. You talked about how...

You know, it really, the book talks about finding and keeping those strong friendships and that implies loyalty and friendship, right? And so how have you found is the best way to be a loyal friend to others, Kaylin?

Blythe Daniel (22:29.246)
I would say I, um, the loyalty I just show is always supporting them being like, you got this. So, um, I recently had a, um, one of my band friends, she got an opportunity that I did not get. And even though I didn't, I was really bummed about it. I still chewed her on. I said, it's okay that I didn't get it, but I'm very excited that you got that opportunity and just always supporting them. And. I mean, you couldn't, it's, it's okay.

Becky Harling (22:46.476)
Mm.

Blythe Daniel (22:59.12)
them your frustration. I mean, everyone's friendships are not perfect. They never will be. And so you might get you might be frustrated about something, but showing them compassion and mercy for anything they did truly shows them just how good of a friend you are because they can trust you now.

And when you when they trust you, they'll come to you for anything and you can be um, just a door for them just to give out whatever they're struggling with and you can always just help them I know yeah, we're the same friends. She just Uh, we really just lean on each other and just are there to support each other no matter what because we know that we have each other's backs and I think

when you just show them the kindness that you would want in return, it makes their friendship just super special.

Becky Harling (23:50.024)
Well, I love that you said that your friend got an opportunity that you really wanted and you did not get it, but you still cheered her on. I mean, honestly, Kaylin, I think a lot of adults need to learn that principle. You are so wise. I see a lot of women that have allowed competition in their friendships, you know, and then when somebody gets an award or...

Sarah Wildman (24:04.726)
Yeah, true.

Blythe Daniel (24:05.401)
Don't shake him.

Becky Harling (24:18.072)
goes farther than they've gone. They resent it rather than cheering their friend on. And so God has really gifted you in maturity and in wisdom. So you go girl. I think you can teach a lot of the rest of us some of these principles that you're talking about. So as far as, what would you say to the girl out there who is just kind of shy and

Blythe Daniel (24:31.214)
Thank you.

Becky Harling (24:46.96)
quiet and introverted. You know, for some of us, it's easier to put ourselves out there to reach out. For some girls, you know, they might feel afraid, like, what if I reach out and I'm rejected, what would you say to her?

Blythe Daniel (25:03.87)
I would say that you know, you number one, get into the word of God. Let him show you some wisdom about how to find your friendships. The Bible just talks so much about truth and friendship. I think Proverbs is a very good chapter about wisdom and how to find good friends for you. And I would say that once you find what truth you want.

Becky Harling (25:09.946)
Mm.

Sarah Wildman (25:24.688)
Hmm.

Blythe Daniel (25:34.044)
was just getting involved in fun activities. Gymnastics are banned for me. That's where I met a lot of my good friends. And so it doesn't have to be right away, but when I see that the gymnastics team I'm on, we're all just super close with each other. And so I think as time goes on, you just see how good of these people will surround you in your activities and how they will lean on you and you can get really close with them.

It doesn't, you have to put some work in. You can't just fully just expect people just to come to you. You do need to put a little bit of work in and keep that friendship going and just keep reminding yourselves of the truths that you want in that friendship. But you know, people will come to you, but you also might wanna try and come to those people. It doesn't have to be like a total, hey, this is my name and who are you and stuff. Like it doesn't have to happen right away, but.

I think when you find those activities that you really love and you find people that you really love, then you can try and lean on them and see how it goes. If it doesn't happen, then you know that God didn't want that friend for you because there are certain friends that you may want, but God knows that you should not be around them. You really just need to give it to God because God will show you the path and the plan he has for your friends.

Becky Harling (26:51.428)
Hmm.

Sarah Wildman (26:59.798)
Mm-hmm. So too.

Becky Harling (26:59.928)
Mm-hmm. So good. So Blythe, what would you say to moms who are listening, like, wow, you know, my middle schooler is nowhere near your daughter, Kaylin, you know, and they're really struggling or they've gotten in with the wrong crowd in school, or, you know, it's just so important to them to be popular?

And what would you say to them? What would you say to the moms?

Blythe Daniel (27:31.903)
I would probably say to the mom, maybe something that you could do with your daughter is to say, how are you feeling about your friendships right now? Are there any that stand out to you as really good friends? Or are there some that are just really dragging you down, pulling you down, that it's really concerning you? And just kind of do a check in on just friendships in general. And one of the things that I...

Becky Harling (27:45.593)
Mm.

Becky Harling (27:56.204)
Yeah.

Blythe Daniel (27:57.01)
have had to watch in my heart and spirit is that sometimes I might, oh sometimes I might think that this person would be a good friend for my daughter and I might want to steer her in that direction and that's interfering in my daughter's ability to make her own friends. So I can encourage and say well what do you think about this person and usually Kailin or her sister will say,

Becky Harling (28:01.037)
So we want, oh, go ahead, Blife.

Blythe Daniel (28:23.89)
I think sometimes as moms we want to push our girls towards certain people, but allowing our daughters to talk to us about who they see as friends is helpful.

Becky Harling (28:26.796)
Yes.

Sarah Wildman (28:28.03)
Mm.

Becky Harling (28:33.368)
Hmm, so wise, Blythe. Sarah, did you want to ask anything else before we wind this up?

Sarah Wildman (28:40.938)
Yeah, a little, okay, a question for both of you. It doesn't have to be super long and profound, but what gift of learning did you get from this book after it's all sudden done working together? Was there something that rises to the top that was kind of a highlight for you after finishing the book?

Blythe Daniel (29:00.062)
I think I honestly just learned a little bit more about myself and my faith. I think I kind of realized that I'm a little bit more of a leader than I actually thought I am. Before I didn't actually think I was much of a leader. I usually just let others do it, but I think I kind of realized that I'm the one that's leading people to Christ and stuff. I think I just learned about who I am in Christ.

Sarah Wildman (29:04.862)
Mmm.

Becky Harling (29:09.976)
Hmm.

Blythe Daniel (29:29.954)
listen more than I talk to my family. And I loved hearing Kailin.

Becky Harling (29:33.04)
Hmm.

Blythe Daniel (29:37.146)
answer questions or when we were working on this book. I just loved her insights as you guys have seen today. And I just think that sometimes as moms we talk a lot and we don't know how much is inside of our kids and the grandkids that may be in your family. So if you're listening and you're thinking, man I think I do probably talk more than I actually listen to my kids. And Becky has written several books on this about listening and hearing

Sarah Wildman (30:02.594)
Yes

Blythe Daniel (30:06.942)
you know, family has to say and your children and your spouse that, yeah, I just think I learned just things about Kailin that I didn't even know. Some of the things that she was struggling with, but also just more the gifts and the way that God's just been moving in her life. So it is special no matter what you do with your daughter. Maybe you start a date. Yeah.

Becky Harling (30:21.164)
This has been so good guys. I, so we want to give some copies away. Um, we want to give some copies away. So I think what we'll do, you let me know how this sounds, Sarah, when we post about this podcast and Blythe will repost it on her social media too, if you want your daughter to win a copy of this book, what we're going to have you do is write one quality.

that you like to see in friendship and we'll choose several comments. I don't know. You think we can give away three books, Blive? I think three books is great. And I really think some of your daughters need this book. And this has been just an incredible interview with the two of you.

Sarah Wildman (30:54.312)
Hmm.

Blythe Daniel (31:00.479)
That sounds great.

Blythe Daniel (31:16.323)
Thank you.

Becky Harling (31:17.7)
think this is only one of many books for you. I could be wrong, but I have a feeling there are more books inside of you. So you keep going. Yes, it does. And you've got a great, you know, mom agent right there ready made for you. So yeah, you keep writing, but hey, we're going to close in prayer. And Sarah, I'm going to ask you to close in prayer and just

Sarah Wildman (31:20.254)
I'm going to go ahead and close the video.

Sarah Wildman (31:25.954)
It runs in the family.

Sarah Wildman (31:32.895)
Yeah.

Blythe Daniel (31:35.415)
Yes.

Sarah Wildman (31:42.718)
Mm.

Becky Harling (31:43.352)
Pray for our moms who are thinking about all this, who are listening, thinking, wow, my daughter is really struggling with bullying at school or with, you know, mean girls or with shyness or whatever, and just pray for them, would you?

Sarah Wildman (31:59.998)
I sure will. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we're just so thankful for the friendship first that you offer us through your Son, Lord. We're just so thankful that the scripture says you stick closer than a brother, that you are always with us and give us that perfect example of friendship. But Lord, we know that in this broken world, sometimes life doesn't go quite.

as we'd like to with our friends. And a lot of heartbreak can happen. You know all of those things about what's gone well with our friends, what hasn't. You know about the moms and maybe even the teens listening and the burdens that they have, their desire to have good friends, Lord. I pray that you would give us bravery to speak out like Kaylin said, to speak about you.

the true light of the world, the best friend we could ever have and help us to mirror the kind of friend you are to us, to our friends. And Lord, I pray that you'd be with moms and give them wisdom like Blythe and guiding their young ladies into a path of rich friendship, Lord. We thank you that it really does model the friendship you give us and it's truly a gift when we find that. So we thank you for those good friends that we also have. We thank you for this time. And I just ask that

this book would truly bless everyone who reads it and bring them into deeper friendships. It's in Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

Becky Harling (33:28.416)
Hey friends, thank you so much for joining us today for this episode of the Connected Mom podcast. And I think this one was so important. I'd really like to ask you to share it with your friends, particularly with your friends.

Blythe Daniel (33:28.426)
Amen.

Becky Harling (33:43.268)
who have daughters around this age between 10 and maybe 15. I feel like this is a really important conversation for them. So we'll have another episode next week on the Connect a Bomb podcast where we're gonna continue conversations that help you connect more deeply with God, more empathically with your fellow moms, and more intentionally with your child. Thanks for joining us.

Becky Harling (34:14.448)
Okay, we are.