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Hosted by Dr. Val Civelli, White Coat Black Sheep explores physiology, functional medicine, and the medical questions most people are told not to ask.
This is where evidence meets curiosity, where dogma gets uncomfortable, and where real world medicine takes priority over headlines.
From understanding your lab work to debunking hormone myths, medication misconceptions, and optimization strategies, this podcast helps you understand what is actually happening inside your body.
If you care about health and think there might be a better way to practice medicine, you’re in the right place.
In the studio today with me, I have Marcus.
Thank you so much for spending your evening with me tonight.
No, Dr. Savelli, I really appreciate being here.
It's an honor, it's a privilege. You're very well-respected in the community of
Bakersfield and Kern County.
Thank you.
And I'm just very, very blessed to be here today.
Tell us your full name, Marcus, and tell us what you do, and thank you so much for
that nice intro for me.
But it's my honor to have you here.
Yeah. My name is Marcus John Garcia III.
I come from a family of six.
I have two brothers. I'm sorry, I have one brother, excuse me, two sisters.
Both my parents are-
I was like, "One brother doesn't count here."
Yeah.
Like, he got canceled.
Yeah.
No, so one brother, two sisters. I'm the oldest in my generation-
Okay
... on both sides of the family. So there's a lot of pressure that comes with that.
29?
Am I 29?
Yeah.
No, I'm 35.
Basically 29.
Yeah, that's it.
I'm 29.
Yeah. Oh, so we're right there, but not quite there yet.
Yeah.
Got you.
Yeah.
29 for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah. So I'm a transplant from Las Vegas. I grew up in Vegas originally.
Canada.
Yeah. It's not all over my face.
Okay, what does somebody from Vegas look like?
No, it's just that, I think it's the...
I don't know, there's an aura that comes along with Vegas.
There's a vibe that comes with Vegas.
You can kind of spot one. There's no true culture there.
Interesting.
So it's a melting pot, just like New York or LA in a way, but-
Yeah
... just way, way worse as far as no culture-
Is it kind of like a harder exterior in a sense?
You know what? I wouldn't call it harder.
What's cool about Vegas is that you could be at a bar-
Mm-hmm
... you can be anywhere, and you can have the guy from the street-
Yeah
... and you got Mr. Wynn right next to you-
Yeah
... all at the same bar.
Wow.
It's a melting pot like that.
Yeah.
So everyone hangs out with each other. But there's no true like...
If you go to LA, you know that culture.
Yeah.
You know that culture.
There's cliques.
There's cliques, you know, everything like that, right?
Yeah.
You go to New York, same thing.
Yeah.
You go to the boroughs, everyone has their own thing.
Like Upper East Side or-
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's nothing like that in Vegas.
The Bronx.
Yeah, exactly. Vegas is just, it's a melting pot.
They come from all over the world. And so you get this vibe
where you fit in wherever you go. It's weird.
Yeah.
I don't know how to explain it.
It almost sounds like a good thing, right?
It is. You become a chameleon in a way.
Yeah.
But you can lose yourself in that as well.
Ooh, that makes sense.
Forget who you are.
You can get lost easily.
Yeah, 100%.
Interesting.
Yeah. You lose yourself pretty quickly.
Huh.
So that's kind of where I can go with that, too.
One of the reasons I had to move here is because I deeply lost myself.
Wow.
Yeah.
What age was that?
Well, if you want to go further, you can go deep.
When I was about five years old-
Yeah
... we moved to Vegas from the Inland Empire, from Ontario. Moved to Vegas.
Canada.
No. No, California, girl.
What? I'm sorry.
No.
Canada.
I'm about two or three shades too dark.
Tandy.
Stereo. Okay, sorry.
No, Ontario.
California.
But California.
Okay, go ahead.
We moved to Vegas when I was about five years old, and it was a different place
back then. It was very family-oriented.
And-
This is in the burbs, right?
Yeah, Henderson.
Yeah.
So we lived in Henderson.
Okay.
Yeah, and it was beautiful. The start off was beautiful.
Right away, obviously things have changed over time, the duration of time, where it
became more in your face-
Mm-hmm
... whether it's sex-
Yeah
... drugs, alcohol, rock and roll, all that stuff.
Very industry.
Very industry.
Yeah.
Quite frankly, I grew up really quick.
Mm-hmm.
I had to.
Mm-hmm.
So we can kind of go into it.
Yeah. Sure.
When I was five or six years old,
I was molested. And right there, that kind of changed everything as well.
Made me grow up very quick. My entry to sex,
it wasn't real.
Mm-hmm.
I believe that sex, there's a connection, there's intimacy there.
Right.
I had none of that.
Right.
So it was taken from me. My innocence was gone right then and there.
Yes.
So living in Vegas, experiencing Vegas at the same time was very
fake.
Wow. Yeah, no, totally.
So there's a dynamic there. It's hard to understand.
I'm still trying to understand it.
Yeah.
Me being here was kind of my first step into
understanding and getting it out there and trying to just throwing it out there.
Thanks for sharing that.
Yeah.
It takes a lot of courage, and that's a huge thing. It's horrible, horrific.
It is.
And just sharing it out loud is going to help a lot of people because they
are also too scared to even say it, and you can't get help if you can't even get
that far-
Yeah
... to process it.
I hope in some way there's a liberation of just getting it off of your chest.
Yeah. I don't think I've ever said that in public.
Thank you for sharing.
It's something that you hold dear, you hold to your chest and you try to man it
out, right? And try to-
Yeah
... soldier it out.
But it happened to you. Like, you were a victim of it.
Right. You know what, doctor? Lately, it
did happen to me, right?
Yeah.
And I can either claim that, right?
I can accept that-
Yeah
... and it happened to me.
Yes.
Or did it happen for me?
Yeah.
Did it happen for me?
Yeah.
Because ultimately there are-
It shifted who you were-
It shifted completely, 100%
... that point forward.
I have a better understanding of what sex is-
Yeah
... what love looks like-
Yes
... what it should be-
Yes
...
than most do.
And the power of it.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
Man.
Plus, I get to connect with people-
Yes
... in a different way.
Yes.
Just me being here allows me to understand how I feel, my thoughts, my
processes, my traumas.
Yes.
But I get to explore that with other people and see what they're going through.
Yes.
It kind of makes me better at my job, too.
Yes.
I'm a hospice liaison.
Yes.
Dealing with death and dying.
Which is terrible.
People come from
different avenues of life, backgrounds-
Yeah
... and they have different experiences themselves, especially here in Kern County.
Yes. We have a lot of, I would say, a high incidence of that human
trafficking.
Absolutely.
Children being trafficked. Something about our location geographically just makes
it a high-
Yeah. Absolutely. I wouldn't call us the armpit of California, but we're-
We are the armpit of California
... the armpit all the way down.
Not all good things come from the armpit, okay?
Right. No, there's definitely good things.
There's good things, but sometimes there's not good things.
Right.
Sometimes it stinks a little bit.
Right.
Yeah, no. I get to experience that with people on the daily,
the traumas and the, I don't want to call it setbacks, but
the things that put them in the scenarios that they are in.
Death doesn't
discriminate.
It doesn't, which is just wild. We lose really good people, and it seems so messed
up, like why would this person be removed from this earth?
Right.
And then other people that are just horrible humans-
Exactly
... they look like they're just cheating death.
Like how is that person still alive? They're horrible.
Right.
They should be dead.
They're dead.
Like actually, I'm fine saying it.
100%.
There's bad people.
Oh, absolutely.
What's the point of them?
I'm starting to learn, too, more and more,
as life goes on and I have more experience with death and dying in hospice and just
people in general.
I don't think
we originate bad. We don't come out as bad people.
Yeah.
Those are all learned experiences.
At some point, you end up with a perversion or some deviant-
100%
... something happens.
Absolutely. And I think getting down to that, if we talk more like this-
Yeah
If we communicate more, we open ourselves up to that conversation,
things would get better, just a little bit.
I hope so.
You know?
It's bad out there.
As corny as that sounds,
I really truly believe that conversation sparks a lot of different things.
It does.
You know?
Having things come into awareness, and you're looking at it, it's in your view,
your vantage point, you can then fix it.
It's the things that are in your subconscious, the things that we can't see.
Like we don't have eyes at the back of our head.
Right.
Why are they just in the front? It's so annoying.
Right.
You ever thought about that?
Right. No. My dad has always said, he always told me that there's a reason the
windshield is bigger than the mirror.
Hmm.
You know?
I like it.
We got to see what's in front of us, right?
And what's behind us-
Looking back there
... all right, but who's looking back there?
Who's got my six?
Who's got... Right.
No, because it is-
Yeah
... there's a lot of bad.
You can't control what's going on behind you or in the past, right?
Yeah.
And you just, you got to look at the future, keep moving forward.
But as far as my life in Vegas, going back to that-
Mm-hmm
... I grew up
with a lot of pressure,
knowing that I was the firstborn in both sides of my generations-
Mm-hmm
... both sides of the family rather. And I'm also the third Marcus John Garcia III.
Yeah.
So I was Marcus John-
It's a big name.
Yeah. So it's a name, right?
Yeah.
It's just a name. But there's, I grew up with two very strong men.
Yeah.
My grandfather was a Vietnam Vet-
Mm-hmm
... very decorated.
They did not talk about their feelings then.
No. And he's old school Mexican, so
My dad's old school Italian.
Yeah. They don't talk about it.
Also a Vet. Yeah. They don't talk about it. They bury things.
It's like feelings, emotions?
What are you talking about?
Go, go, go, go, go. Get out of here.
Your face changes.
Yeah.
Right? Like, "What did you just say?"
You feel what? Yeah. So, and then my father was very stable.
My father was
so... It was like something you couldn't grasp.
Yeah.
And that's where I felt a lot of the pressure.
Like a solid person.
Yeah.
Can't shake him.
Yeah. Can't shake him.
Fears nothing.
Nothing. Looks at things, and he's just like-
Don't worry about it
... stable.
Nothing.
He sounds like he has swag.
He does. Well, no, he's just, he's very, I don't want to call him stoic, but he's
very-
Yeah
... emotionless in his actions.
Oh, got it. Yeah.
And he can, when conflict hits him, he either has one of two ways.
Mm-hmm.
He only knows, okay, I'm going to sit back and I'm going to
really listen-
Yes
... or I'm going to go through this thing and hit it hard, old school Mexican.
Man, that was the generation.
Just, yeah, that's it. Go straight in.
Yeah.
You don't ask questions.
Yeah.
You don't talk.
Yes.
You just do it.
Yeah.
So very stable man.
Yeah.
And I grew up with a very strong woman in my life, my mom.
Yeah.
My mom was very strong.
Yeah.
She was raised by a
wonderful woman as well. But her grandmother
raised eight children by herself.
Oh, my goodness gracious.
So
I would just not be the strong woman in us.
I'd be like, " I am just, this is too many children.
I lost a few."
Right.
I would lose a few.
Right. It's, and that's-
Eight children.
Eight children. Eight children by herself.
And-
What's your name again?
Right. Exactly. I'm like-
That's hard
... how do you even process that on a daily? I could, there's no way.
I just, I have two of my own, and I'm like-
Feeding everybody. It's not like you just fed them, and then you forget.
Tortillas and beans go a long way.
That sounds great.
Yeah. They do. They really do. But, yeah, so I come from
both, like my dad, very ma- the family's very masculine.
Yeah.
And then my mom's family is very feminine.
Yeah.
And then you throw that all together, it's a melting pot of chaos, and-
Yeah
... you get something like me.
Yeah.
Where
...
Yeah.
It's, I'm very balanced, but I have better conversations with women.
Yeah.
But I have-
Why do you think?
They're just more interesting to me.
Yeah.
They're intriguing to me. A woman's mind is more beautiful to me than having a
conversation about football or baseball or-
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I want to know what a woman's thinking. It's hard.
It's like, you-
Interesting. Those guys do not want to know-
No
... what a woman is thinking.
No.
You do not.
I-
Ooh
... I have better conversations with women, always have.
Yeah.
While everybody's in, like all the guys in the backyard barbecuing and doing their
thing, I'm with, I was like-
Yeah
... in the house with, like the women-
Yeah
... listening to their conversations.
Yes.
I was, I don't know, I don't care what you want, but that's just what it was.
Yeah.
And, in that,
you see a lot of
sensitivity with me.
Yeah.
I'm very emotional. I wasn't really allowed to cry as a kid, and that's just a
Mexican thing, too.
It is. Yeah.
Um-
Like son jeters.
Like son jeters. Yeah.
Yeah.
I wasn't really allowed to cry. I had a great childhood. Don't get me wrong.
Mm.
I had a beautiful childhood.
Yeah.
Played a lot of football, played, I was out all the time with friends.
Yeah.
I had really good friends, really good childhood, really good cousins, family,
everything.
Yeah.
It was awesome.
Yeah.
But when it came to emotion, wasn't allowed to show it.
Yeah.
So now that I understand, now it's like I'm watching "The Notebook" and I'm like,
"Oh, this-"
It's just beautiful. It is beautiful.
Exactly. It's beautiful.
It really is. It really-
Like I want it to be real.
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And it's, I'm very-
Yeah
... Disneyland, very fantasy when it comes to-
But I love that
... when it comes to like love.
Yeah.
I believe in love at first sight.
When did you know that about you?
I've known that for a long time.
Like that's a romantic-
Yeah, very much so
... so you're romantic, and you enjoy like romanticizing the day, the relationship-
Oh, yeah
... the conversation.
Yeah. I
truly believe in intimacy.
Yeah.
And intimacy is not physical.
Yeah.
Intimacy is depth.
Yeah.
I want to connect with you on a deeper, deeper level.
Yeah.
And it's a spiritual thing.
It is a spiritual thing.
Yeah.
I like that you went there.
Yeah. It truly is.
It transcends just the content of the conversation or-
Yeah
... it's just, yeah, there's depth to it.
Yeah. Absolutely, and it takes a lot of trust-
Yes
... in that, which is very difficult for me to do.
Ooh.
It's because of the trauma that came along with the ugliness when I was a kid.
Interesting.
So I want that so bad. I-
Wait, so do you hold back in relationships because-
Yes. Oh, walls are everywhere.
Interesting.
And to be honest with you, it's, I, if I ever, if I get into someone-
Yeah
... well, just recently, I'll just throw it out there.
I was in one relationship just recently, and I just threw walls.
Yeah.
I didn't let her fully in.
Yeah.
And I didn't understand it. I totally destroyed the relationship because I didn't
let her in.
Because you knew this was like a good person-
Yeah. Oh, yeah
... you had feelings for them, but you're just like, "You get to stay right here."
Yeah.
And I can't-
Yeah. And as soon as it looks like it was going to-
Progressing
... progressing-
Yeah
... and my walls are going to go, I'll go out and destroy it-
Yeah
... with my words or-
Yeah
... how I act or-
Yeah
... it could be anything. I just-
Yeah
... I'll try to destroy it.
Yeah.
And it's a very chaotic, like I've always had, you-
Yeah
... you're going to get chaos with me from the-
Oh, you lead with that.
Oh, yeah. You're going to get chaos.
But the women still move forward.
Mm-hmm. Well, there's only been a few.
I've only, I'm not, I haven't really dated like that though, either.
Yeah.
I've had one,
been, was with the mother of my children for 12 years on and off.
I didn't know you had kids.
Oh, yeah. I got a... Yeah. I have, yeah, I got a, I have a 12-year-old
daughter who lives with me-
Okay
... full time. She needs her dad right now.
Yeah.
It's really important to me that she knows that she has Dad.
Yes.
You know?
Yeah.
You got that relationship, like this is how Daddy treats you.
Yes.
And this is how men should treat you as well.
Yes.
You're my baby girl, you're my princess, you're my queen.
I like that you just say it because there's just something really
important foundationally-
Yes
... that comes from that for kids.
Absolutely. I mean-
I didn't realize that until I was older
... well, they spell love with time, right?
Yeah.
And
I try to spend as much time with her. I wasn't always like that.
When I was younger, when I first had, I wasn't ready for it.
Yeah.
I had my son. I had my son at 20 years old.
Wow.
I came back from college-
Oh my gosh
... and the mother of my children was pregnant
Wow
And he's mine.
Yeah.
He's mine.
Yeah.
He's my son.
Yeah.
Biologically, he's not.
Yeah.
Blood couldn't change that, and his last name can't change that.
Yeah.
He's my son.
Yeah.
But I came back, and we're just friends.
Wow.
And went to the mom's classes with her.
Wow. Oh my gosh.
Yeah. So it was a really cool experience. I was there for the delivery.
Wow.
And I saw my son's eyes,
and it scared me because of how much love I had at that moment-
Wow
... right then and there. He was a total white kid with blue eyes and blonde hair.
So,
saw these baby blues open up and
completely fell in love with him.
Oh my gosh.
And that was-- It scared me, though, because I
wanted so badly to be a dad-
Yeah
... because I wanted to
be like my father.
Yeah.
And I tried to compare myself to my dad this whole time.
Yeah.
I was like: Am I doing a good enough job? Because my dad was a great dad.
Yeah.
Great mom, great dad. But my dad was just like-- You look at someone, and you're
just like: I want to be like that guy.
That's awesome that you had that thought.
A lot of people don't get to have that thought.
You're right. I'm very blessed that way.
Yeah.
But it was hard because you don't know how to do that.
Yeah.
You would try to imitate that, but you can't-
I understand that
... because you're not him.
Yeah.
I'm not him.
Yeah.
We have different lives, different experiences, different traumas.
Yes.
And I wouldn't know because he would never express it to me.
Is that frustrating?
Yeah, so-
Yeah
... I'm trying to be something that I have no clue about.
So you're just like an actor.
Yeah. I'm like, "Do the part."
I think this looks like how it looks.
Yeah. And in that, I would lose myself, yeah.
I would just keep losing myself because I would try to imitate.
Yeah.
Imitate, imitate, imitate.
Yeah.
And I would fake it till I make it.
Yeah.
And it didn't make it, it just didn't work.
So early on,
I wasn't the greatest dad. I wanted to be, couldn't be.
Time-wise, wasn't-
Time
... there to dedicate, or?
Yeah, I was young.
Yeah.
In Vegas.
Yeah.
20, 21 years old, freshly.
Yeah.
So guess where I was? I was at the bar, at the clubs-
Having a really good time-
... at the pool
... at really fancy places.
Yes.
Great pool.
Yeah.
I've heard about it.
Yeah. So I entered that world, and it was a very long
road.
Yeah.
A very long road. Because you go to Vegas, and anybody can go to Vegas and lose
their life.
Yeah.
Lose everything that they have.
Yeah.
We've seen it over and over and over again.
Yeah.
And if you go there with the right intentions, you're a goner.
It eats you alive.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I could see.
Yeah.
That was your 20s, right?
Mm-hmm.
In my 20s, I feel like, I don't know, I didn't really get to do my living it up.
This path to medicine, it's consumed me.
So I didn't know I wanted to be a doctor really until I was about 23.
So that's pretty early on.
Yeah.
So at that point, I was pre-med, but at 21, I had done a two-year-- I graduated
with a radiology-
Oh, wow
... degree. So I was a professional at that point.
And so I didn't do the totally go wild.
I had fun moments. We party after a block exam.
Right.
But really, I wanted to experience life. I really did.
Yeah.
I wanted to-
Did you ever get that? Did you ever get to just-
They're lame. You would be like...
No, I'm sure they're not.
I don't know.
I'm sure they're not.
Yeah, I have some regrettable moments.
Yeah.
Some things I don't remember, right?
If that is a-
I think we all got them. Yeah, I think we all got them.
Yeah. But it's like, I don't know.
Yeah.
Now I'm just starting to-
Yeah
... live a little bit.
I love that, yeah.
And I want to travel. I want to just do everything.
Right.
But then I also got to work.
Yeah. I'm so sorry about that.
No, you're fine.
This-
Is it your mom? You should answer.
No, it's admissions at a facility, and I'm trying not to... I'm so sorry.
Yeah, sorry.
If you're going to miss a paycheck, you answer-
No
... a financial check.
No, but we've already-- It was-
Okay. I don't mind.
No, we're good.
We're good.
So where were we at? I trail off.
Well, Vegas, losing yourself. Really.
Yeah. So yeah, I lost myself a little bit. Found myself, lost myself.
My daughter came, and when my daughter came, there's a sense of
now my world's shifted completely. I wanted a girl.
Wow.
I wanted a girl. I was like, "This is the only thing that's going to slow me down,
smack me in the face, and-
I love it
... maybe go up."
Yeah. Did it?
You would think it would.
Are you grown?
No.
I'm not.
No.
It looks hard to be grown up.
I didn't start really shifting until recently.
Yeah.
It's taken me a lot of love
for my daughter, a lot of love for my parents.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
No, you're fine.
Come on. How do you turn this thing off?
Oops.
Crap.
I thought I turned it off. There we go.
It's okay.
So yeah, no, a lot of love that I
didn't see was being given to me.
Mm-hmm.
During that time, I found myself doing a lot of blow.
Mm-hmm.
A lot of alcohol, a lot of ecstasy.
Yep.
Found myself to the point when COVID rolls around, I was doing-- Coke got really
expensive.
Mm.
And guess what I moved to?
Bakersfield?
No.
Where?
No, I moved-- No, I'm talking about the substance there.
Oh, okay. No.
Yeah, so I moved to meth.
Okay.
Which brought something-
Is that a better price point?
Oh, yeah.
I'm sorry. I have to ask the question. It's for some of your viewers.
Yeah.
No, seriously.
Yeah, no.
But yeah.
It's the truth. A lot of people do that because, especially during that time, we
were bored-
Yeah
... out of our minds, and-
Yeah
... especially in a place like Vegas, where Vegas went from people everywhere-
Yeah
... to ghost town.
Oh my gosh.
No one was outside, so we're in lockdown.
And what are you going to do, but you know
Party.
Let's party.
Yeah.
Where people were actually making money, I was like just, "Ugh,
let's just do it," whatever.
Yeah.
So I moved over to meth, and
that opened a lot of doors. Doors that I would've never opened before.
Emotional?
Emotional-
Yeah
... mental,
physical.
Yeah.
You know?
You look very fit.
Yeah.
It doesn't look like it physically impacted.
Well, it's everywhere.
Yeah.
And there's a lot more people doing things than you'd think.
Yeah.
I'm not trying to throw anybody under the table-
Yeah
... or anything. But yeah, I did a lot of that partying. I did a lot of that stuff.
Did you get really thin? Was there weight loss?
At one point, I did. I lost, oh my gosh, I went from 260 to
170, 165 soaking wet.
What are you right now? Like 1-
Right now I'm 198.
80.
Actually, I got done with the show about 15 weeks ago.
Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah, so did the show on sixth second.
Okay.
And so now-
Good job
... I'm on the reverse right now.
No, that's good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm putting size on right now, but it's-
What division was it?
I did Classic Physique.
Okay.
The Classic Physique, the division A, I think it was. Yeah.
Okay.
So, or class A or something like that, yeah.
So I've been-- Maybe I can go into that, too.
Yeah. No, I would love to hear-
Yeah
... about how you prepped and all of that stuff separately.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
People often ask-
Yeah
... and they're hurting themselves doing it.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
And there's so many healthy ways to do it.
Get a coach, guys. Get a coach.
Please.
It's so easy.
Absolutely.
Right? Don't die doing it.
Yeah.
We've got you.
Right. So going back to
that trauma, obviously-
Yeah
... I was doing that bad stuff, doing the stuff, and I can't really call it bad
anymore because it brought me to a lot of surfacing feelings and surfacing things
that were just there.
Which is awesome. It's like however you get broken down to where you're at a space
to see it-
Yeah
... and you're ready to fix it-
Mm-hmm
... I think that's badass.
100%.
Because of the confusion with how I was
What happened to me when I was a kid-
Mm-hmm
...
I opened myself up to homosexuality.
Mm-hmm.
And, I did a lot of things that I would have never thought I would've done.
Yeah.
Some of it was upsetting.
Was that transactional or-
No.
Okay.
No.
No, I mean-
No, you're right though.
Yeah.
No, nothing like that. You get so confused and you get so erotic on it-
Yeah
... that you-
That makes perfect sense
... you're just like, "Okay, I'm just-
Yes
... going to go with it, whatever."
Yeah.
Not necessarily even thinking twice about what you're putting in your body, how-
Yes
... who you're with.
Yes.
How you-
Your self-love is just gone.
Gone.
Yes.
Gone.
And you didn't like yourself like that.
No, at that point, I didn't. I was just so disappointed.
Like whoever you were.
Yeah.
Yeah. It wasn't you.
No, not at all.
Disconnected from who you were.
100%.
Yeah.
And that's a lot of times you're trying to escape, right?
You're trying to escape to something.
Yeah.
Something that's there, and that gave me that escape.
Yeah.
You're never addicted to the drug, you're never wanting the drug, you're wanting
the escape.
Interesting.
Um-
I've never heard it described like that. I like that. Yeah, no, it's covering pain.
Mm-hmm. Covering pain that's there.
Yeah.
I started to like the chaos that came along with it, too. That was the scary part.
Hmm.
Um-
Like you were addicted to the chaos, too.
The disturbia.
Interesting. I wonder if I have a little bit of that.
You know what, probably. I think all of us have a little bit of that, honestly.
I will admit it. Yeah.
Because especially in the field that we're in-
Yeah
... we deal with patients that are in need, and it's constant.
Constant.
Constant, constant, constant.
And suffering.
It's going every day.
Yes.
And then we work out, and then we do this, and then we do that.
Yeah.
It's back to back to back to back to back.
Yeah.
And there's no
something that's hard.
Sitting still.
It's very-
And quiet.
Yeah.
Forget it.
So-
Ooh. Okay, I'll self-reflect. I'm right here to grow.
Yeah.
If that is partly right.
Yeah, we want the chaos, we want the suffering, we want that.
Huh.
We want that little thing that-
Yeah
... gives us that edge and that like-
It's dopamine.
Mm-hmm, dopamine release always.
Yeah.
Serotonin, let's do it.
Yeah.
I want all of it.
I don't like being bored.
No.
I feel allergic to boredom.
That's real.
Ooh.
The boredom-ness is where the ugliness comes from.
Oh, man.
You get bored with yourself, and you're like, "I got to sit with myself right now?"
I don't sit well with myself.
"I got to sit and I got to understand how I think? I'm thinking right now.
Am I-"
Yeah.
"Am I thinking too loud?"
Yeah, no, and then I turn to the creating of things-
Yeah
... which is in a sense, it feels like art.
Mm-hmm.
I enjoy making businesses, but it does-
Yeah
... mean more people are invited into my world.
Yeah.
More processes, more demands on my list, more things to do, more moving parts, more
chaos.
Yeah. And that's-
Damn. Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, that's exactly right. This is why we do what we do.
Yeah.
And
I learned that that chaos is what builds us.
It makes great entrepreneurs, it makes great leaders, if you know how to control
it.
Channeling-
Channeling
... is energy-
Yeah, that's all it is
... with a pressure.
It's all it is.
Yeah.
And I feel... And one of the next points I want to get to is we drive by
addicts every day.
Yeah.
We drive by homeless people every day.
Yeah.
People that are just don't have a lot, whether they had some bad luck-
Yeah
... they lost everything due to substance.
Yeah.
Don't ever judge that person-
Yeah
... because that person could be you with one decision, with one choice.
Absolutely.
Furthermore, that person, if pointed in the right direction, could be your
boss.
Yes. I agree with that. I agree with that.
There's two things I've learned from this whole experience is always be kind to
people.
Yeah.
Be kind.
Yeah.
Try to understand.
Yeah.
Communication is 80% freaking listening.
Yeah.
Listen.
It's so hard for me as somebody who, I'm a small fish. I'm building businesses.
I have a vision of what I plan to be, where I want to go, what I'm trying to build,
and then everything between that space, like where I am now to where I plan to be,
I have the right people to choose-
Yeah
... the right processes to put in place.
And when I try to take a chance on people-
Yeah
... it's tough because I have a heart. I believe in kindness.
But then some people, as soon as I see they're not it, I know it-
Yeah
... and then I still hold onto them.
It's like, am I helping them, they're helping me? It's now a weird...
I had to sort that in my mind.
Right.
So-
Well, let me ask you this. Are you relying on your own judgment or are you letting,
are you...
Because again, it's intimacy. Again, we're going back to intimacy a little bit-
Yeah
... and communication.
Yeah.
There has to be some type of trust there, right?
And you can't always rely on yourself, your own, you can't always
rely on that.
Yeah.
I'm looking for a word, and I can't figure out what that word is.
Do you rely on anything spiritual when it comes to that?
Do you let-
Yes.
Yeah. Are you
a faithful person?
Yes, I'm a Christian. I do believe in God.
Okay.
But I also feel like I had to develop that because the
decision-making, that quickness to say yes, no, like, "This is it, this is not it.
This one is confusion. This is not what it should feel like."
Right.
So stepping into that judgment-
Yeah
... is a learned thing.
Right.
I didn't start there.
Right. Well, no. And I don't think any of us do.
I think-
It's horrible to learn it.
I don't think any of us do. You can always tell-
... God's people from the fruit, right?
Yes.
And if they have that kindness, that love, that grace-
Yeah
... the self-control, those are all fruits of the patience-
Yes
... all fruit of the spirit.
Yes.
So walk towards that. That's kind of how I've been kind of navigating through all
of this with your people, because again-
Yeah
... it's like I can't trust as fast as I want to.
I trust way too fast.
So, okay, let's talk about it.
Yeah.
So it's good and bad. Both of us have walked in with different experiences, and
I grew up with a very sheltered life, and I would always, like you had your
arguments with your family for different things.
I know I often would fight with my parents about how strict they were.
Mm-hmm.
Like, "I can't do anything," like classic teenager. But really, I couldn't.
I could invite my friends over, that's it.
And
it protected-
Yeah
... me from a lot of bad.
Yeah.
So was it too extreme? Possibly. But did it protect me from a lot of harm?
It did.
Oh, yeah.
So,
now, here, me as an adult, I see the world in such a very positive
rose-colored glass way. Nobody is bad.
I have been taken advantage of tremendously-
Yeah
... financially in business, but it was my job to learn that.
Well, that's beautiful, though. That is beautiful to be able to get taken...
And hear me.
Yeah.
It's hard to get taken advantage of.
It's hard-
Easy for me.
No.
I was a great student.
No, it's hard to get taken advantage of and still believe in people and still want
to be around people.
Okay, good. Yeah.
Yeah. That's
grace. That's the fruit of the spirit, right there.
Okay. You're so right.
And that's a beautiful thing.
I still have love for people.
Yeah.
I still believe in people. I still see the good in them, but I have to remember the
times that I've been bit.
Yes. Oh, yeah. 100%.
Right?
Yeah.
And that they will bite again.
Forgive.
Yeah.
Don't forget.
Yeah, no, forgive, but don't forget.
Keep your sanity and keep your health.
Yeah. Yeah, no, really.
Yeah. That's the real stuff.
Yeah.
I'm sorry it happened to you a couple times.
That's-
No, it was, I needed to-
Yeah
... because it's like you can't just... No.
It's good to be innocent, okay? It is, and there's a charm to it, in a sense, but
I also see where I had to learn to survive.
Mm-hmm.
I can't be exactly that. I have to have more, like don't show all your cards.
Right.
I like people very quickly.
Right.
I think everyone's a friend
No, people want to show up to destroy you.
Yeah.
They actually hate your guts.
Yeah.
They don't want to win-
Mm-hmm
... and they really want you-
Yeah
... specifically to lose.
Yeah. 100%.
That's weird to me.
Yeah.
That is weird. That is like a mind F. I just don't... Mm-hmm.
I'm like, "Why are you... Why?"
Why? Exactly.
Why do you care?
Yeah. Yeah.
Why aren't you building your own empire?
What are you doing?
You know what? Hate never... And they all come from the bottom.
Yeah. Ooh.
They-
They so do
They do not hate... You don't get any hate from the top.
No.
It's always coming from the bottom.
Bottom feeders.
And it's
people that you've already passed.
Yes.
And people that truly they're looking up to you, that they
don't want to admit it.
Who knew? I had to learn that.
Yeah.
I had to learn the haters have elevated me more than-
Yeah
... anybody that said nice things.
Absolutely.
It's good to have haters, means you're doing something.
Yes.
That's it.
Yeah. You're right.
And if they're trying to destroy you, it's for a reason.
Means you're doing something real.
Yeah.
You know, that's-
Yeah
... it's the enemy.
I learned to find that as a compliment.
Yeah. And here's the thing to it. Going even-
Made me great
... going deeper, it's really not them.
Yeah. It's a spiritual world.
It's a war.
I agree.
It's a war.
Yeah.
And the enemy's going to do everything he can to knock you off your path.
Yeah.
But good thing you're a soldier.
You're a soldier.
Stomach like your dad.
Stomach.
Oh, man. So yeah. It's been one heck of a ride.
Then, I had my daughter, and my daughter just made me think twice about things.
It took me a while to get to the point where I
just want to be a good dad.
Yeah.
Just be a good dad. That's period. That's all I want.
That's awesome.
That's it. Just be you.
Yeah.
Don't worry about anything else.
Wow.
Just be you,
which you're pretty good at.
Yeah.
So just be-
You would think it'd be easy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And see, it's not, though. It's the easiest, yet hardest thing to do.
Yeah.
Just be yourself.
There was a person, Lord Elliott, he was on a podcast, and he's like, "So you
struggle with being enough?"
Yeah.
And he's like, "You know what? You are enough."
Yeah.
And I was like, "You think?" Because it's
hard to just imagine, wait, just me by myself? I am enough.
But yeah, you're built perfectly.
Mm-hmm.
You're exactly you. No one else is a better you.
Yeah.
It's weird.
Yeah.
That's like a mind-blowing thing to... Yeah.
No one has your fingerprint. No one has your eyes. It's you.
No one has your personality, no one has your spirit.
Yeah.
You're a spiritual being. There's not another spiritual being in this world like
yours.
Right.
That's cool.
It's cool. And it's a great filter. It's a great filter.
Yeah, for sure.
Because if you're just yourself-
Yeah
... and the people who are not supposed to be there, they're gone.
Yeah.
Because you know what? I really don't care for you.
Yeah.
It's awesome.
Mm-hmm.
Because I'm just me.
Yeah. That's it.
Yeah.
That's it. It takes us longer sometimes. We're always looking for a validation.
I know. It's so silly.
And acceptance.
Yeah.
That acceptance part is like, I want to be... Well, it's very tribal, too.
It's very primal.
Ancient. Yeah, primal.
I want to be part of something.
Yeah.
I got to connect with someone, and I'm going to-
People have longed with community.
Mm-hmm.
So I guess it does make sense.
Yeah. It's survival.
Yeah. It is survival.
You know? And that's okay.
Yeah.
But understand yourself first.
Yeah.
Understand who you are before you start linking up with people.
And that's how I got to...
Yeah.
I'm still learning. We're still learning.
Yes.
We're always evolving.
Wait, I heard
this, maybe it was like a podcast or something. Oh, no, Tony Robbins. Okay.
Everyone knows him. So he was talking-
Yeah, everybody knows him. Yeah, Tony.
It's Tony.
Yeah.
There was a short video that popped up, and he was talking to this kind of crowd
about, you're always choosing who you are showing up as in a
relationship.
Mm.
Because there's so many different dimensions of yourself-
Yeah
... but you really get to choose.
Yeah.
You're bringing part of you, never all of you.
Yeah, absolutely.
So which part of you-
You know what it reminds me of? Shrek.
Oh, tell me.
Because, what is he called? What is Shrek? What is that? What is he?
He's like-
He's an ogre
... ogre. Ogres are like cakes.
Yeah.
Or onions.
Oh, yeah.
There's a lot of layers there.
Yes.
Yeah, no, you're right. No one ever gets the full you.
Yeah.
Well,
maybe.
You think some people-
Oh, yeah.
Was it bad?
Well, that's what I think what love is.
Oh.
I think that's what love is.
How so? Tell me more.
When you're able to fully,
for one, understand yourself, understand the other person,
I truly think I can
let them completely in.
Yeah.
And them see everything in me. That's one of the things I've always been chasing.
Yeah.
Is someone to grab me by my face through the chaos.
Yeah.
And just lock in and just be like-
Yeah
... "Hey, I see you."
Yeah.
"You're okay."
So you haven't had a relationship-
No, not like that
... like that, real.
I want that.
Yeah.
I want that. That, to me, is like-
That's the hottest
... that's it. Well, there's a certain part where, it's not gravity
holding you down anymore.
Yeah.
If there is gravity. We're not going to go into that, but anyway.
Yeah, no, it's not gravity holding me.
Could use less gravity.
Even though it's 29 years old.
That's right.
I just... Yeah.
Dude, that's so crazy to have the joke about that now.
It's like, "Yeah, s**t, I'm..." Yeah.
Seriously. Whoever thought I would be making those jokes?
I've always been too young for those jokes.
Right. Yeah, it's crazy. No, yeah, that's what I want.
Yeah.
And I think everybody wants that. They just don't know how to approach that.
There's-
It's vulnerability.
Yeah.
That's freaking scary.
But how do you get vulnerable with someone who just, it's already to the bed?
Maybe put brakes on that?
Yeah. Let's do that.
Do it old school?
Let's do that. Let's-
Talk first
... let's court people.
Yeah.
Let's do that.
Let's take it back.
Let me go ask your dad if he can take you on a-
Yeah, and then I'm going to drop you off at home and just say good night.
Yeah. That'd be cool.
That's still a thing.
It is. It should be.
Yeah.
It should be.
Yeah, so it's-
So have you had a date that, recently or-
Yeah
... have you tried this?
Yeah.
My ex now-
Yeah
... it's only about a month ago. We went through the whole-
Oh, this is fresh.
Yeah, this is fresh.
I'm so sorry.
No, it's cool. No. She's a very amazing woman.
Yeah.
So is my, the mother of my children. They're both amazing.
I think you would choose a dad.
I don't do that, for sure.
Yeah. No, I've chosen three dads. It's unreal.
I'm married to you.
Yeah.
No, both of them are very amazing women.
My ex-mother of my children is just an amazing mom.
She's a very, very beautiful woman that
knows how to inspire people if she really wants to.
Mm-hmm.
Knows that she... How do I say this?
She can look at you and just be like, "You good?
Let's go."
Okay, so it sounds like there's definitely a depth and connection.
Of course, because I've known her since I was 14, that one.
But you've... Okay.
Yeah.
So what actually brings the next level into
play?
A lot of it was me getting in my own way.
Yeah.
I have to get out of my own way.
You had to grow. That was a lot of years.
Mm-hmm.
You're probably like a, you're a different you.
Oh, 100%. I am not the same person I was a year ago.
Yeah.
I wasn't the same person I was a month and a half ago when I was with my-
Yeah
... only had two true girlfriends.
Ever?
Ever.
Wow.
Yeah. I dated in high school. Like, "Oh, we're friends." "We're friends."
Yeah.
Went to college, and it was just mayhem.
But like mostly, yeah. Mostly just-
Yeah. So just these two. That's it.
Wow.
I don't really-
How long were those relationships?
It's, oof, I almost said her name.
But the mother of my children. I don't want to say her name on here.
She might get mad at me.
Everyone gets mad. It's okay.
No. She, I was-
You guys just post about it.
I know. I was with her-
Like, share, follow.
Yeah. Right.
Continue.
I was with her for 12 years on and off.
Okay.
There was a lot of,
that was a ride. They call this a rollercoaster, a carnival of rides.
I do not want to ride a rollercoaster. Check that box.
Yeah.
Just all over the place.
I'll choose a different chaos, thank you.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
Relationship chaos?
Nah. I'm good. Nah, I think we loved each other very much.
We just didn't know how to channel that.
We didn't know how to-
That's so common.
Yeah. I didn't know how to love her the way she needed to be loved.
Yeah.
And it took a lot. I was always out. I was always taking doctors
out.
Yeah.
I was always-
It was part of your job.
Yeah. But at the same time, I didn't have to do any of that.
Yeah.
I didn't know that I didn't have to do any of that.
I didn't know that I'd have to do any of that-
Yeah
... until like, recently, like truly in the last like-
That's why you don't do dating.
That's why I play manners.
Yeah. You don't have to do any of that.
Yeah.
You go to work, come back, go home.
Yeah.
I didn't know any of that.
Yeah.
Especially in Vegas, you didn't know. I just didn't know.
Yeah.
But yeah, so I spent a lot of time out, and I didn't show her the attention that
she deserved and needed.
Yeah.
And my kids too. So it became something that I didn't recognize.
Yeah.
And then with this, my ex, my fresh ex-
Yeah
... I didn't know how to love her either.
Yeah.
Or it was turning into something good, but I didn't know how I felt about it.
Yeah.
So I destroy it.
Yeah. Naturally.
Naturally, just like-
Yeah
... "Okay. Yeah, I'm going to overcompensate, I'm going to destroy this."
Yeah.
100%.
It sounds so crazy, but it's very common.
It just seems like pressure. I've done it, okay? So you put pressure on yourself.
Mm-hmm.
And you're like, "Whoa." And sometimes it's subconscious.
Yeah.
It's like, I don't know why I felt inspired to just not go home.
I don't know why.
That's it.
I would do that.
No, because you don't initially go out and be like, "Hey, I'm going to really
destroy this relationship right now."
Yeah, I'm going to burn it down.
"I'm going to burn this down real quick."
Immediately. Let's just nuclear bomb it.
No. No, not at all. Go out and you're just like, you're just, "Okay."
Yeah.
"It's vital."
Yeah.
"See you later."
Yeah. I don't know what that is.
Mm-mm. It's-
Maybe like not loving yourself, not knowing exactly what you want.
Mm-hmm. Or knowing what you want, but not accepting it.
Yeah.
Seeing it.
Like you're not ready for it.
Just not ready for it.
Timing.
Timing.
Timing matters.
Yeah.
That's what I talk about, right? There's the timing.
Yeah.
And I think there's something to be said that you can learn from everything, right?
Yeah.
Everything that's been done.
Oh, definitely.
You can learn from a new experience.
I think I learned a lot from,
just from that relationship, I learned that I can love again.
That's awesome.
I learned that, it can be me.
That's so important.
It can be me.
Yeah.
That I learned that I'm selfish and arrogant at some points.
Has she heard you say this?
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
Actually, I don't ever have to.
Is there like a part of you that like would fast-forward to maybe
you had to become the next version of you, and then would-- is the door still open?
What do you mean? Can you explain that again?
To go back to the relationship.
Oh.
So I--
no.
No. Shut the door.
Shut the door.
Friend zone.
I don't ever want to...
God only knows, right? And there's a plan.
But I never seek that.
Yeah.
I'm not going to seek to go back.
Yeah.
I did that for years.
Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. On-
Yeah.
Yeah.
It just never works.
Oh, that's awful. I hate that cycle.
Yeah. You go in, you go around, and around.
You know the outcome.
Yeah. And it's not so much-
Yeah
... it's just like I don't want to become something just for someone.
Yeah.
You know?
It's easy to do.
Do, yeah. I think that if
that's what God wants, it's what he wants.
Yeah.
There's nothing that's going to stop that.
Yeah.
You're going to charge up and go, "What do you want to know?"
You know what's funny about that? Like I apply that to me
becoming a doctor. I genuinely thought, maybe this is just a selfish
desire to become a doctor. Do I want this for the wrong reasons?
Right.
I tried to quit many times. I really did.
I was like, I just think, am I doing this because it's going to, I
don't know, make people think that I'm smart or change my financial status?
Right.
And really,
I learned as I walked through it, there's no rich doctors unless they're not doing
other things, right?
Right.
Like not corrupt, but just like other businesses.
Yeah.
You have to have an entrepreneurial mindset, and you're doing more than just being
a doctor.
Yeah.
So financially, it's not going to change your life or generations.
I think that's a big misconception.
Yeah.
You guys, doctors make good money, but-
I made the same as when I was an MRI tech.
Oh, I see.
My first paycheck.
And it's not the-
I don't even think it's the money that people are after, it's the respect.
No.
It's the white coat.
Okay, so then I get the white coat.
Yeah, you get the white coat.
Ain't nobody respects you. And they're like,
no one thought I was-
You're killing them.
No one thought I was a doctor.
Yeah.
And I was just like, yeah. So then whenever they find out, they're like, "Ugh." It
changes not one thing. No one thinks you're smarter.
Every so often it opens a door.
Yeah.
And now I think maybe I've got enough time in the game to where it opens
more doors, but-
Yeah
... man.
I think I, yeah, I can see that.
It was brutal.
I think a lot of doors have been opened because for one, you're educated, right?
You have this degree, you have a doctorate.
But that's not enough.
But being a doctor does open some doors for you, I think.
But look, say, because you know me-
Some letters behind your name. It can't hurt you, special.
Look at how you see I'm 100% work-oriented.
Yeah, but that's not only, but you are, though.
That's what opens doors for you is because you're the black sheep in a white coat.
That's why. That's exactly why. People know about this podcast, and they're like,
"Oh my gosh, I have to invite this person,
because she has this podcast."
Yeah. No, not even.
That's why.
No. Come on, you can't give yourself enough credit. Like you got it, you got it.
But okay, but it truly, without joking, it's like the diligence.
Yeah.
It's the persistence.
Yeah.
It's like the fire that I feel like I've had that I've just really
persevered through a lot of-
Yeah
... things that were like not on my side.
Yeah.
You've got to respect it.
Yeah.
I'm not afraid to fall on my face, get punched in the face.
There's a purpose for this all, right?
Yeah.
And I think you're a great doctor.
Thank you.
You are. You're very thorough.
Thank you.
You take your time with your patients.
I do.
I've seen you.
Yeah.
And you're a great doctor.
Thank you.
I can't speak more highly of you because, and you can ask any of our community
partners, I really think that. I believe that.
Thank you so much.
I've seen that. You do, you take your time with your patients, and they love you,
especially the older ladies in the skilled nursing facilities.
They're so like, "Oh my God, Dr. Simpon." They're like, "What kind of lipstick is
that? What color is that?" I'm like, "Oh my gosh." Or they'll ask me the name of my
nail color red, and I just think, "You still got it."
Yeah.
Not me, them. Okay.
Yeah.
There's a comment to them.
Yeah. No, they really find you pretty tough.
They're like, "Er, girl, what you got?"
That's actually what it looks like. I do get surrounded by these ladies.
The men, too, in their wheelchairs.
Yeah. The walkers. Yeah. I've had that happen. Oh my gosh.
You want to know the experience?
Yeah.
I'm walking into an assisted living.
This is
years ago.
Yeah.
I'm walking into assisted living.
I'm talking to the administrator there, and I'm just going on. This lady comes up.
She's like 90, 92, walking up, but still doing it.
Yeah.
And she goes, "Hey."
I turn around, I'm like, "Hi, ma'am." She goes, "You're hot."
I'm like, "Oh, wow, girl."
She's not dead yet.
Did you say that to her?
I was like, "Girl, okay, thank you."
You don't know how to react to that.
You're like, "All right, what do I do here?"
I'll tell you what I say. When the little old men tell me that I look beautiful or
cute, I say it right back to them.
Mm-hmm.
They tell me I'm cute, I'm like, "You're cute."
Yeah.
"You're so pretty." "You're so pretty."
Exactly.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
But yeah, now it's not the same person.
Yeah.
You keep evolving, keep moving forward.
Yeah.
I don't count days.
Yeah.
Why would I count a day? I'm going to count
today.
I slightly count them, and I'll tell you, okay, so I know I'm 42, and then we do
see a lot of elderly, and then I'm like-
Right
... "Ooh, so at what point did you guys start feeling like this?"
Right. No, no, that's not what I mean.
I'm like, "Jesus, I better go snowboarding." I mean, like, get all up now.
No, that's not what I mean. I mean as far as the substance use and all that other
stuff.
Oh.
I don't count days.
Okay.
I went back to it, I'm sorry.
Only because I like to count today.
Yeah.
Like today.
Yeah. And today's a good day.
And today's a good day. I'm blessed.
That's great.
I don't need to count the past. I don't need to look at the past.
No.
I need to look today.
Yeah.
That's it.
Yeah, and today was awesome.
Awesome. Today's awesome.
Yeah.
So, I don't count days.
I
am starting to love life.
I love that.
I'm starting to really love life.
Have you started noticing the sun more or the sky?
Yeah. Well, I can tattoo, so yeah, I'm so glad you said that.
I started doing that.
Get grounded. Because I love tattooing.
Yeah.
Right?
Oh, that's nice.
So-
It's beautiful
... yeah. It's a drive, every morning and every night.
Yeah.
But I get to go up to some peace.
Yeah.
You get to have your little route, right, and then you get to go up.
Yeah.
Every morning, you hear the donkeys.
I'm so serious.
It was almost peaceful in the nerd call.
Yeah. You hear-
I want a donkey
... you hear the rooster in the morning. You hear the little birds chirping.
Yeah.
You hear the blackbirds, the bluebirds.
Yeah.
All of them. They're all out there.
Do you have any animals at home?
Yeah. What do we have? We had a bully. I actually just put one of them down.
Yeah, we put actually two of them down, but-
No
... yeah, a little Frenchy.
I'm sorry I asked.
No, it's okay.
Oh my gosh.
No, it's good. I have... I don't know what they're called, one's an Australian sh-
Shepherd?
Yeah, Australian cattle dog or something like this.
Yeah.
But that one, and then-
Ugh
... another Australian.
Yeah. They're both Australian, yeah. Something like that. I don't know.
They're actually my daughter's dogs. I don't know.
Oh, yeah.
Whatever.
Yeah.
You get them.
Yeah.
So those are the family dogs.
Gosh.
But yeah. So living in Tehachapi, what brought me to Tehachapi is just trying to
get my head clear from all the craziness and all the chaos.
That's a great spot.
Yeah. And it worked.
Yeah.
My grandparents were really sick at the time when all this was going down.
Well, my grandmother had cancer, and-
Oh my gosh
... she had dementia at the same time.
She didn't know at the time that she had cancer.
Yeah.
But I wanted to come back and get myself right.
Yeah.
Get clarity.
Be present.
Be present.
Yeah.
And with that, I got here, and my grandma ended up having cancer, so I was helping
with that.
Yeah.
She passed.
She was on hospice, and it was one heck of an experience because then when it comes
to your front door, it's just, it's-
It's different
... way different.
Yeah, caring for patients, we're on the outside, and we learn to not be porous.
Yeah.
But when it's actually you-
Mm-hmm
... yeah, suddenly it's like, yeah, we find ourselves saying things that the
patients say to us. "I want to talk to the doctor.
I have questions."
Yeah.
It's different.
It's way different.
Yeah.
You don't know how to react to certain things.
You don't know how to react to finding out your grandmother's going to be passing.
Yeah.
And it's a hard one. So she ended up passing, and she was a
huge
staple in my life.
You always see her dancing. I get a lot of my personality traits from her.
She's spunky.
Yeah. The sales part, too, it's like, you know how to get out there and make stuff
happen.
Yeah.
She was a staple.
Yeah.
And then-
People person.
Mm-hmm. And then, well, my grandparents were married forever.
So I think-
Which is rare
... very rare.
I come from that, though, too.
Yeah.
You get together, and you don't break up.
Yeah.
So once you're married, that's it.
Yeah.
So my great-grandparents were married for 70-some years, and my grandparents for
50-some.
Oh my goodness.
My parents now for 35. So, yeah.
Don't be the first.
No. That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
I want to really love someone.
Yeah.
Be in love, and them love me deeply, to the point where there's no way out.
That's it.
It sounds like you have the right maturity to really step into that next phase.
Yeah. I believe I am.
Yeah.
I believe I am.
I do. I want that so bad.
Yeah.
And I think I want to relive having a baby again.
Yeah.
Having another child.
Yeah.
Because there's a lot of lost years there that I didn't get to experience.
That's beautiful.
I want to wake up and, I want my daughter to wake me up, middle of the night-
Yeah
... "Go get me some freaking ice cream." "Go get me some ice cream," or, "Go get me
a pickle."
Yeah. Something.
Yeah, something.
Yeah.
No problem. Let's do that. I'm going to get some of myself, too. Let's eat.
Yeah. Oh, that's cute.
And then, when the baby comes, I want to be like, I want to roll over and have that
baby there.
Yeah.
I want to see the first steps.
It's interesting to me, as a woman, to hear a lot of men share
that part because it just seems like such a feminine thing to want.
But it's almost like the men are verbalizing it more now because the women are just
like-
Yeah. It's becoming... Yeah, you're right
... not ready.
I totally support strong women.
Yeah.
Be a strong woman.
Yeah.
Be a strong woman. That's awesome. I love the fact.
There's nothing like a strong woman who knows what she wants to do.
But we all became that and got jobs.
And now it's like,
who's going to help the children?
Well, there's that part.
Yeah.
But I think you really have to look at the men in this world, and you can't-
Yeah
... for me, I'm not looking at the women-
Yeah
... and blaming them for wanting what they want.
Yeah.
I'm blaming the men-
Yeah
... because we haven't been strong men lately.
No.
We're verbalizing these things.
Or being scared of-
Yeah
... talking or committing.
Yeah.
Women are catching on now, guys.
We are. We're not even asking how do you feel anymore because you're just like,
"No, we're saying." Like, "I'm sorry.
What was that?"
Yeah.
You're like, "What?"
They're catching on.
Yeah.
They're pretty smart now.
No, we're different.
So, I don't blame women for-
Yeah
... wanting to conquer the world.
Yeah.
They don't.
I think
lately there's been a lot of weak men.
Yeah.
And it's our fault.
Yeah.
We're supposed to lead, right?
There's a lot of leading.
So whose fault is it?
Yeah.
When God
came to Adam and Eve, and they... What did God say?
He said, "Where are you, Adam?"
Yeah.
We're the ones.
And Eve was like, "Hey, eat this apple."
Yeah. The serpent is, yeah, just came and can eat. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
He didn't say, "Hey, Eve, what are you doing?" No, he said, "Where are you, Adam?"
Yeah.
It's our job to lead. So I understand why women now are doing what they're
doing. I get it.
Yeah.
And it's not a bad thing at all.
Yeah.
I think there's a lot of good things that come from a woman leading and doing that.
Yeah.
There's a lot of good things that come from that.
Yeah.
Whether who you-- If you want that, choose that.
Yeah.
But if you don't, that's okay, too.
Me particularly, I
love a strong woman.
Yeah.
But I love the-- I want someone to challenge me mentally-
Yeah
... intellectually.
Yep. We do that. A lot of good women out there to-
I need someone to do that.
Yep.
Because I like to talk about quantum physics.
I like to talk about-
Yeah
... just weird stuff.
Yeah.
A lot of conspiracies and just-
The rabbit hole.
Yeah. The rabbit hole, right?
Yes.
I like to talk about all that.
Yeah.
And just basic stuff, too.
Yeah.
I just like that. So, I don't know where I was going with this.
Well, do you cook and clean? Asking for the viewers.
I cook. I have a hard time cleaning.
Ooh.
I'm sorry.
Well, nobody's perfect.
Yeah.
But you can improve. We can work on it.
Yeah, I know. No, I try to keep things organized, but it is...
I just can't.
We have our traits.
I get really--
I have a lot of anxiety when things are out of their place, though.
Okay, so then you are pretty-
Yeah
... organized and clean.
If it's cluttered-
Yeah
... I don't like it.
Yeah.
It gets me like, "Ah."
Yeah.
I freaked out.
Like, "Fix it."
Yeah. But yeah, no, so I do hospice, and
I'm doing a lot of different other things right now, but I love life.
That's good.
I'm starting to love life and-
After going through such a dark era-
Yeah
... this is fantastic.
Yeah.
And it's hope.
Yeah. A reason that I came on here is to show that there is--
I'm living it right now.
I love that.
I'm not perfect. We're not perfect, right?
Nobody is.
I'm not that far out from my last use, guys.
Yeah.
And I'm okay saying that.
Yeah.
I
am talking to you from the front line.
I love that you did.
There's no, I'm not the
richest man in the world now, or-
Yeah
... I'm not the most successful person in the world now.
Yes.
You know?
You're still in, like, it's hard.
Yeah.
It's freaking hard.
But I'm here.
Yeah.
And I'm living.
Yes.
And I'm talking.
Yeah.
Let's communicate. Let's talk, guys.
Yeah. And you show what it looks like.
Yeah.
You've rushed your tea.
Yeah. I think so.
Right?
Yeah. It's like-
Yeah
... I'm here.
Yeah.
So that's the cool part. I'm starting to be, it's starting to reflect, too, in my
work.
That's powerful.
My being a dad.
Your drive.
Drive. Oh, yeah, girl.
Because a lot of people feel flat.
Yes. Oh, yes.
Right? So the fact that you have that, like-
There's a chip.
Yes. Good.
There's a chip a little bit.
Good. And that's a positive thing, right?
Like, it-
Yeah. I'm not trying to be vengeful.
No.
I'll never get revenge on anybody.
But it's like the best thing I can do for anybody is to be the most successful
Marcus.
I-- okay.
The best Marcus.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
For everybody.
Yeah.
And that doesn't-- I don't know what that looks like quite yet and what that's
actually going to look like.
I don't know many, if any, personally, any successful
people who did incredible things, like not mediocre, but freaking
incredible, impressive, anything that does not have a chip-
Right
... of some sort.
Right.
I have a chip.
Yeah.
And to anybody, everybody who's like, "You will never be a doctor.
You're not smart enough."
Mm-hmm.
"You can't do something."
Oh, I love that.
Me too.
Oh, I love that.
I'm like, say again.
Yeah.
Please.
Yeah.
Because when I do-
Yeah
... not if.
Yeah.
But when I do-
Yes
... you're going to watch.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. You can hear from that.
Yeah. I'll invite you.
I'll get you tickets, don't worry.
Yeah. Yes, and it's not even about that person-
Yeah
... but it is the fact that it is a part of that chip that it feels
negative if I identify the feeling.
Yeah.
It feels terrible.
Right.
It hurt me.
Well, there's a villain to that.
Yeah. There's a face. I know like-
There's like-
... who said it and like the context.
Well, you like to be the person that-- for me, it's like, oh yeah, I'm all that.
You think what you think.
Yeah.
And you're right, I am that, but watch me do this.
Yeah. Watch how much I'm going to do with so little. And you know what?
If I'm doing so much-
Yeah
... with so little-
Yeah
... you should do more.
Exactly.
You are unacceptable.
Mm-hmm.
Go do more than me.
Yeah, absolutely. Please do.
Yeah.
Because it's just like,
please do. Just do it.
Yeah.
I will show up on this.
Because you're underperforming-
Yeah
... with all of your-
Yeah
... gifts.
Yeah, straight up.
Yeah.
Yeah, the success is, it's coming.
Yeah.
You know?
It's definitely coming.
It's here. It's active.
Yeah. Stay mad.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
I know I'm going to get a lot of heat for what I've talked about
today.
Encouragement, then. That's what it means.
Yeah. I need that coming in here. I'm not scared anymore.
I love that.
I've done all these things, but I have my scars.
Yeah.
And I love those scars.
Me too. Those are powerful, Marcus. Those are powerful.
Yeah, I know. It's like anybody can--
God, we go through it all, guys.
Yeah.
We all go through it.
And you're not ruined.
You're not alone, dude.
You're not alone. You're not ruined.
You're not. Exactly. You're not.
Yeah. You can heal, you can recover, overcome.
Yeah.
And that's your story.
Yeah. And if you're not healed yet-
Yeah
... it's okay.
Yeah. That's okay.
It's okay.
Yeah.
You can smile still.
Yeah.
You get to control your smile.
Yeah. Yeah, it's true.
That's it.
Yeah.
Whether it's fake or not, you get to control that.
I think even just the act of smiling, it does release chemicals.
Right.
It does tell your brain to release the dopamine, and you do activate
those neurotransmitters to build a pathway.
Oh, yeah.
So eventually, your brain actually does tell you-
That's synapses
... joy.
Yeah, synapses happen.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely. Speaking of synapses-
Yeah
... so Retta.
Yes.
Okay.
Fan.
Don't send me a letter.
Right.
Okay. Bye, Mr. Lily. Don't send the letter to me.
Right.
It helps people.
I do.
A lot of people.
I have a lot of people. I'm not going to go and say that I know everything about it
and be like a chemist with it and-
We can explore it
... but it's,
Retta is a beautiful thing.
It's a game changer.
It's a beautiful compound.
Yeah.
It really is. There's so many levels to it, too.
A lot of addicts are using it-
Yeah
... to get off that drug. A lot of alcoholics are trying to get off the bottle,
right?
Yep.
Deeper than that, the liver support, the dopamine
release.
Yes.
Mind to muscle.
Yeah.
That whole thing is just that-
The energy deficit-
Absolutely
... that it overcomes.
Yeah, that's one of the biggest things that saved me during my prep.
That's great.
It was on Retta, and I wasn't doing high doses. You don't need a high dose.
Don't do high dose.
No, the trials are running around two mg to start-
Yeah
... to 18 mg. Can you imagine?
Whoa.
But really, there's metabolic dysfunctions out there, so-
Yeah, I can see that
... you've got a lot wrong if you're needing-
Yeah
... these doses.
I went up to three, and I just couldn't eat my last meal.
It was like
Yeah. A lot of people don't have the appetite suppression as much with it, but then
again, it is dose-dependent.
Yeah.
So you hit the right dose, and then it turns it off.
I was like, "Eh-eh."
Yeah.
No, I'm good. So I went back down to two.
Yeah.
And that seems to work for me.
Get a coach, always have a coach. Get your blood work done.
Yes.
Get a doctor, guys.
Yeah.
Always a doctor to look over your blood. That's key.
Yes, because you need-
Know your markers. You can't do anything without knowing your markers, guys.
I know. It's driving blind. Like, tell me where to turn.
Right.
Tell me where I'm driving.
Got to know your kidney function, got to know your liver function.
Yeah.
Got to know how everything is, your pancreas is working.
Yeah, and I feel like some people do have anxiety with it.
Some people forget to eat, or they'll eat
too large of a meal, just like with any of the other GLPs, and then they are
considered failed because they're like, "It doesn't work for me." I felt like
whatever symptom. You shouldn't have all the symptoms-
Right
... and you just have the benefits. That's a proper dose.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
Talk about the appetite suppressant.
I give it to my mom And she just came off tirzepatide.
Mm-hmm.
And instead of it suppressing that appetite further, it did the opposite.
I said, "That's great, Mom. That means your metabolism's restructuring.
Your body's actually eating."
Yeah.
And it's not a bad thing.
You're absorbing the food, using the food.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
People think it's a bad thing to be hungry. It's not.
Yeah, they do. It's like-
No
... you're right.
It's okay to be hungry.
Yeah.
That means your body's working.
Yes.
You know?
Yeah.
And I
had to learn that pretty quick. I'm like, "Why does my stomach feel hungry?"
Yeah.
It's annoying, but no, it's a good thing.
It is a good thing to feel hungry and to feel full.
Yeah. Exactly right.
People forget that. Or even whenever they're taking a GLP, they forget that the
signal is removed to eat.
Mm-hmm.
So okay, yeah, you're not hungry, but then also, you're not thirsty.
Right. Oh, and there's a confusion there, too.
Yeah. It catches up with them. They're like
.
Yeah.
But you haven't drank all day.
Yeah. That's a good point. You could actually be thirsty and think you're hungry.
Yeah.
Right.
Or salt craving, sugar craving.
There's other things.
There's a lot of things.
So, let's go to sugar. So do you agree with the thought of
sugar being harder to kick than heroin?
I think it just depends on the person's genetics.
Yeah.
And I wouldn't have said that if I were not so deep into the genomics
now.
Yeah.
I really feel like that's where the answer is.
Sure.
As I DNA test people, and I get to see how their different genes
play a role in how they respond to different treatments, and-
Oh, yeah
... the action items that it gives with the evidence that correlates, very
specifically, when you do this, you're most likely to have a great outcome.
Or if you do this, it might help you. It tells me the level of certainty.
Right.
So it's pretty badass.
Right. Yeah.
But, yeah, so it just kind of-
Well, it's like knowing your blood type and then eating according to that blood
type.
Yes, exactly.
Love that.
Yes.
No, love it. That's getting deep.
It's customized.
Love it.
I can't go back.
Right.
After knowing this and seeing it, it's not cookie cutter.
No. Well, you know what? I think in the next 20 years, we're going to see
some really true science behind this.
Yeah.
I think it's going to see a lot of-
Leaps
... leaps.
Yes.
Leaps and bounds into-
Yeah
... longevity.
Yeah.
I think people are going to start living longer lives.
Yeah.
It could be a scary thing, too.
I'm hoping that rather than just making our lives longer, that it's-
We're functioning better
... healthier. Yeah, functioning better, because it looks really bad.
Your carcass is just alive, and I'm sorry.
Yeah.
It's just, I wish there was better options that I could give patients.
Yeah.
But I'm like, "That's honestly all the tools that we have."
Yeah.
And I want more.
Yeah. Which ones have they approved thus far?
Have they approved all?
Are you talking medications?
No, I'm talking about peptides.
Peptides?
Yeah. Have they cleared?
So the FDA did-- So there's a board, advisory board.
Yeah.
And they voted, and they passed six of them.
Okay. I see.
But the next step is that they have to write the regulations, and then they launch
a date for when that goes into play.
Yes.
There's rules for who can-
Prescribe it
... prescribe, yeah. And then how all of these are handled and-
Yeah
... the safety-
Yeah
... parameters.
Yeah.
FDA's a funny thing, eh?
Yeah. I know. It's so interesting.
I've been having to work in the real gray area, and I do the whole peptide thing.
I'm
connected with the company.
Yeah.
And we have a COA. We're working out of-- We're stateside.
That's awesome.
And we've had to work in that gray. We can't consult with anybody.
Yeah.
You have to literally tell us what you want. We can't tell you what to take.
Yeah.
You know? And I think there's-
That's what a lot of it is.
Mm-hmm. I don't know what to tell you.
I'm not a medical-
Yeah
... professional.
Yeah.
So-
Yeah
... know what you want and tell me what you need.
Yeah. You're like, "I'm just a really fit guy."
I can only tell you what works for me.
Yeah.
So go get your blood work.
Yes.
Go talk to your doctor-
Yeah
... and figure out what you need.
I've created a link so that people can click on it, and they can self-order.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
So if you're like, "I don't want to commit to a doctor.
I don't want to pay for it," I'm like, "Don't pay for me."
Right.
"Just click the link, check your own labs, order your own stuff."
Mm-hmm.
I think there's a lot of
places that have created access with-
Yeah
... the home kits, the arm kit.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Rhythm. Yeah.
So I think those are really helping to drive the cost down of labs.
Was I supposed to say that one?
What?
Are we allowed to say it?
Oh, you can say whatever.
Okay.
Hey, Rhythm, sponsor me.
Oh, yeah.
I need some sponsors in here.
That was a joke.
Yeah, we can say anybody's name. And you know what?
They need to just start sponsoring.
For real.
Yeah.
Sponsor Dr. Celi.
Yes, please.
White coat, black sheets.
That's right.
Yep.
Yes.
There's a lot of good science happening right now.
Yeah.
A lot of good science. You know, I started doing growth.
Okay.
HGH and it goes, I am really liking it.
People love it. It's just that's a very expensive-
It can be
... supplement.
Yes. Yeah. It can be.
Most people can't afford that.
No.
And you're right. I didn't even think about that.
Right.
Depending on where you get it.
Yeah.
You know.
Whether it's pure-
Yeah, it's pure, prescribed, you go through, you do it the right way, it is very,
very expensive.
Yeah.
I've learned that your body can really change overnight. The way you feel.
Yeah.
The way you feel, at least.
The recovery time-
The recovery time
... is way shortened.
Yeah. 100%.
Yeah.
Your sleep is better.
Yeah. Yes, you do sleep.
The way you process food is better.
Your metabolism's boosted.
Oh, gosh.
Yeah.
Joints feel better.
Yep.
Hair, skin, and nails.
Yep. Amazing. Which is high in pregnancy.
Yeah.
So it's like you get back low.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, so there's a lot of good things that come with these molecules.
Yeah.
I love it.
Yeah.
I love it.
I think the downside, if you did an extreme dose of it without pulsing, would
be diabetes, carpal tunnel.
Oh, yeah, you've got to check your blood sugar.
Thickened skin.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, 100%.
Large nose, ears. That's not it. You have a good dose. Okay, so, right?
But you know the look.
Yeah, no, I know the-
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Larger-
Everything.
Everything. Yeah.
Yeah. No, I'm not there yet.
Yep. Yeah, but I love it. I took growth hormone for, I would say probably a few
years.
Yeah.
But now, I've probably more so transitioned to, I will take off and on
the tesamorelin.
Yes. Yeah.
Is my favorite. CJC, I don't like the burn.
Yeah.
I don't like that beta-alanine feeling.
You're like, "It's"-- Oh.
No, I'm a girl. I don't like it. I don't want to feel that layer of warmth
running through my veins.
Got it.
But some people like it.
Yeah, do you like it?
Yeah, they like it.
Oh, for-- Yeah. Well, that's just the addiction talking too.
Yeah.
I like that.
Because then you're like, "You know it's working."
Mm-hmm. You're like, "Oh, yeah, yeah."
Yeah, this is not fake.
No.
This is not a drill.
Exactly right.
This is legit.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
What do you think about the studies in regards to Retta and cancer?
I think it is accurate.
Yeah.
I mean, we're lowering-- So does Retta reduce cancer rates? Yes, it does.
Yeah.
It's pretty well documented. The Triumph trials with Eli Lilly.
Mm.
I think it's Triumph 9.
Mm.
So it's pretty amazing.
I love that.
So-
Good
... will they make that full claim? I hope so.
Yeah.
I hope so.
It's-
Because they're finding proof of it
... I think it's on its way, and they're not going to be able to stop it.
Yeah.
Because there's just too many trials now.
Yeah.
You know? And it's out there.
Well, it's not good for business. So, I mean, there's always that counterargument-
Yeah
... of how much of medicine is business.
Yeah.
I don't want to go so extreme to be like, "All agendas are
monetary." In a sense, maybe if I owned the pharmaceutical company, maybe that
would be my-
Right
... only mission, but I don't own it.
Right.
So I'm a regular doctor in the workforce, and I genuinely don't want you to have
cancer.
Right. Yeah.
And if there's a way for me to prevent it-
Yeah
... I'm going to treat you with that properly.
Mm-hmm.
So, yeah.
There's another study on tesamorelin with HIV and AIDS.
Yeah.
And I was looking at that, and I was just like, "Whoa, we're there."
Yeah.
We're there.
Yeah, that's how-- You probably know, that's what it was initially approved for.
Really?
So anytime we're using tesamorelin, it's off-label use because it's only indicated
for HIV patients.
Oh, wow.
Yes.
I did not know that.
So it's fully on market for that purpose.
5 mg per day is the dose for that.
Saving lives. That's dope. I love it.
Most people will-- You probably know the dose, mostly 1 mg per day.
Yeah.
And you're going to get chilled.
That's it.
Right here.
Consistent.
Yeah.
Small doses. You do not got to throw a bunch of it in your body.
Yeah.
You don't.
Fast it.
Yeah. Fast it.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What else are we going to talk about?
Well, I think that's pretty solid.
Yeah.
If anybody were to want to reach out, because I know you did share a lot-
Yeah
... and you were very brave to do that.
Yeah.
What-
I don't know if this was what we were looking for, but I think-
I'm looking for real, so-
Yeah
... you're great
... I think I just enjoyed this very much.
Me too.
I'm hoping that this can get out to people that
you
think that you're alone, but you're not.
Yeah.
You're not. And
you're just not, man. You're not.
Yeah.
There's two things that we can really do, again, be kind to people.
Yeah.
Right? And send love on people.
Yep.
And try to understand people.
Yep.
This is just one, us just talking-
Yeah
... is just one part of life, right?
Yeah.
A little speck of life.
Yeah.
And what we do on a daily, we're
just a speck of sand, guys.
Yep.
It doesn't have to be crazy hard.
Yeah.
Open up.
Everyone struggles.
Everyone's, they're struggling.
Yeah.
Whether you're hiding,
don't hide.
Yeah. I love that. Yeah, because then it might be that it keeps a lid on
your-
Yeah
... superpower.
Yeah.
So turn that trauma to a superpower.
Boom.
Yeah.
That's what we're doing right now.
Hell yeah.
That's what we're doing right now.
I love that.
That's one thing I did all the time is hide.
Not anymore.
I used to get so blown out of my mind-
Yeah
... and I would hide-
Yeah
... like a little child.
Yeah.
Hide. I'm hiding. What am I hiding from?
Yeah. Yourself.
Stop hiding. Come out. Let's go.
Yourself. Yeah.
It's so funny. But no, guys, you're not alone. Just love on each other.
Yeah.
And know that there is a Jesus, there is a God. There is a God.
And he's got great plans for you. Even when you can't see him, he's working.
That's so true. I love that. Thank you so much, Marcus-
Yeah. No, thank you, doctor
... for coming out-
I appreciate it
... joining me in the studio tonight.
No, this was awesome.
Let's do it again.
Yeah.
Love that.
Yeah, let's.
Thanks for joining us, guys. "Microbox Jeep."