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Chasta and John discuss whether people are “fake,” contrasting performative authenticity with real authenticity and how masks, labels, and pressure to conform show up in everyday life and online. They focus on social media’s role in manufacturing reality through filters, curated “day in my life” and “what I eat” content, comparison, and chasing virality, plus the rise of bots and AI that further reduce human-to-human connection. Chasta shares experiences of being told to change her voice, feeling unheard in public spaces, and how genuine storytelling can help others access their own truth, including a talk where a man realized he’d limited his life based on a parent’s early death. They argue for valuing transparency, allowing emotions like tears, and offer tips: don’t treat social media as reality, trust your gut, and be selective and honest about who you are.
00:00 Heard Worse Mindset
00:51 Is Everybody Fake
02:00 Masks Before Social Media
03:05 Lower Your Voice
06:29 Bathroom Authenticity
07:54 Audition Comparison Trap
09:37 LinkedIn Performative Posts
11:21 TikTok Perfect Day Videos
14:24 What I Eat In A Day
15:42 Dorm Room Aesthetic Pressure
16:47 Same Outfit Social Rules
18:11 Nobody Listens Origin Story
19:13 Authenticity Over Algorithms
19:46 Human Stories Hit Hard
21:34 The Virality Trap
22:49 When Going Viral Backfires
24:47 Bots and AI Personas
27:02 Finding Real Community
29:01 Performative Reading Culture
30:43 Protecting Art From AI
32:18 Tears and Being Real
36:46 Three Ways To Be You
37:45 Closing Thoughts and Call In
Creators and Guests
What is Nobody Listens to Chasta?
What happens when someone says the things everyone else is thinking—but nobody is willing to say out loud?
Nobody Listens to Chasta is a counterculture podcast hosted by entrepreneur, speaker, and author Chasta Hamilton. With humor, candor, and unapologetic honesty, Chasta tackles the uncomfortable topics shaping modern life—from youth sports trophies and toxic achievement culture to entrepreneurship, parenting, grief, addiction, and the pressure to conform.
Drawing from her experience building Stage Door Dance Productions, founding Girls Geared for Greatness, and writing books like Trash the Trophies and Handle the Horrible, Chasta challenges systems that no longer serve us and explores better ways to live, lead, and raise the next generation.
Expect bold conversations, unconventional perspectives, and thoughtful debate designed to inspire healthier, happier, and more intentional lives.
If you've ever questioned the status quo…
you might be someone who actually listens to Chasta.
06 - Nobody Listens to Chasta
===
Speaker 3: [00:00:00] When sometimes someone tries, you know, is trying to placate, it's like, well, I've heard worse. Like, no, Chasta actually
Speaker: asked.
I actually, I actually have, I've probably lived it. I've heard it, I've dealt with it. Um, but every opportunity, every obstacle, every experience is an opportunity. To be more to your truth, to your authentic self.
Speaker 3: There's always gonna be another mountain.
hi everyone. This is Chasta and this is, nobody Listens to Chasta.
Speaker: Today we are talking about something that I wonder about a lot, is [00:01:00] everybody fake. Oh, today I have my nearest and dearest John to help hash me out this question. Is everybody fake? What's real, what's not? What are the systems that create? These are the terms I like to use. And you don't wanna use these rolling on the show, but I'm just gonna throw them out there to start performative authenticity.
Speaker 3: Mm.
Speaker: Versus actual authenticity. So when are we performing in our lives wearing these masks? Using these labels that maybe aren't true to who we are and when are we actually at our realist and how can we help people feel comfortable in being able to feel a little more real in a world that tells you to not be real?
Speaker 3: That, I mean, you want me to tackle all of that at once? Yes. Or are we gonna do one at a time?
Speaker: Yes. I'm wondering about this. It's keeping me up. Like I want people, I'm big on potentiality. We know this. The number one blocker of being able to reach your fullest potential is being able to be your authentic self.[00:02:00]
Speaker 3: When you first brought up, um, this topic for our podcast today, the very first thing that came to my head was social media.
Speaker: Yeah, it's true, but I do, and I wanna get into that, but I do think people were maybe less authentic. In their own everyday lives, even before social media existed. Oh, absolutely. But I think it is given an outlet to really rev it up.
Speaker 3: Well, it's funny that you talk about masks and things, you know? What about filters and different, oh,
Speaker: goodness's. Like literal.
Speaker 3: You can touch up your own image on those things. The
Speaker: dripping nose on face tune. Remember when face tune was a thing and like an ear would be muddled?
Speaker 3: Face tune. Oh man. But no, you're right.
I mean, even just out in society, especially amongst groups, amongst your peers, even before social media existed. We were all out there hiding our authentic selves. Mm-hmm. The pressure to conform might've too weird. Might've been too scary.
Speaker: I was always maybe a little too weird.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you still are. It's okay.
Speaker: But I've, I've embraced it.
Speaker 3: That's my favorite thing about, it's how weird you are. So,
Speaker: you know, there's, there's hills and [00:03:00] valley, so when that feels Okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: And I don't know if you remember this or not, but. When I was really starting corporate, doing more corporate speaking a few years ago, do you remember when I got the feedback that I should lower my voice?
Speaker 3: No, but I remember when we were watching that '
Speaker: cause you weren't listening to me, but,
Speaker 3: okay. You had to get that in there. I was thinking about when we were watching, um, about your girl, um, what's her name? Elizabeth
Speaker: Holmes.
Speaker 3: Elizabeth Holmes. Um, 'cause
Speaker: she had a deeper voice. So this was, this is actually okay.
First off, we, I do not know her, but I am am fascinated by 'cause you did to call her my girl. Um, yeah.
Speaker 3: Calling her your girl. You, you are like all about
Speaker: E Elizabeth Holmes. I'm fascinated by the Theranos story. Yes. Um. But she does have a very deep voice. This was actually pre when we watched that show that I got this feedback.
Speaker 3: It was pre
Speaker: watching. It was pre, um, and I was just like, how ridiculous is that?
Speaker 2: Like, do you want me to go talk like this?
Speaker: That's,
Speaker 3: well, it's been reported that, that some folks one person in particular believed that you had a voice that sounded like a fairy. [00:04:00]
Speaker: Oh, yes, because I got a metal sculpture one time.
Speaker 3: People would develop weird s to chasta, y'all. I certainly have. Um, but I gotta tell a little story here that we, it was, was it the dance recital for stage short dance where the power went out? Was it that one or was it
Speaker: It was 2018.
Speaker 3: The year before. Before. Year before. Okay. Anyway, the, person who had been running the sound that you, did you ever see him?
Speaker: Well, I did when he presented the sculpture.
Speaker 3: You didn't see him till the end week. Okay. Yes. So she's been doing the show all weekend dancers coming in and out, and Chasta is always, you know, providing narration at these shows as the owner, well,
Speaker: I was actually just calling the students to the stage. It was during dress rehearsal.
So I would say, okay, when Wednesday, four o'clock time to make your way to the stage.
Speaker 3: So this sound person who she never laid eyes on. Of, at the end of the, was
Speaker: was working with my hired stage manager in the booth.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And at the end of this weekend comes up with like a metal carved ferry. Yeah. Just said I wanted to give this to,
Speaker: and he [00:05:00] signed it
Speaker 3: and
Speaker: he said to, and he said to watch the edges.
Speaker 3: Do we still have that?
Speaker: It's at the studio. We do. Okay. We do. We should post a photo of it when, when we'll
Speaker 3: put it up in, you know, our studio background here. We'll get it up
Speaker: there. Oh, we can add it to the set.
Speaker 3: The metal Chasta fairy. Sorry. Yeah. Anyway, deep voices,
Speaker: but just that's, that's. That's a facade to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah. That's de has to do with the patriarchy. I gotta think.
Speaker: I, I mean, I wasn't gonna say it, but since you brought it up. Um, but it's like, why are you asking me to change something about who I am to fit? What makes you feel more comfortable
Speaker 3: or apparently more likely to listen to?
Speaker: Ooh, that's. Well,
Speaker 3: do you think you need to start talking to me
Speaker 2: like, Hey
Speaker 3: John, you need to,
Speaker: you know what?
Clearly I have a fairy sculpture to prove someone listens,
Speaker 3: I guess.
Speaker: So
Speaker 3: shout out sound guy from that recital weekend, wherever you are.
Speaker: Um, yeah, but I think that's, that was just like one thing that's happened to me along the way of, okay, no, that's not who I am [00:06:00] and I am not going to be fake to make you feel more comfortable.
I'm just not, this is just gonna be something I decline.
Speaker 3: Yeah. You're also not, that's
Speaker: actually something that you've taught me.
Speaker 3: Really
Speaker: just to be selective, like, 'cause you always say you every time before I go out to do something, you're always like, you're at your best when you're just who you are.
Speaker 3: That's true.
Speaker: But to our point today, there's a lot. It's hard. It is hard to stay true. To that sometimes,
Speaker 3: especially amongst others, right? Yes. When you are with your family, if you're by yourself, it's pretty easy to be yourself, but by the time you get put into a good people, well, you know, I don't
Speaker: really like being by myself, people, I mean,
Speaker 3: so, no, I don't know.
Some of us, like Chas are never by themselves because they constantly want someone around them. Even if, let's just give an example. You are in a one room hotel. Yeah. Not, not a one room hotel, but you're in just one room, a hotel room. Hotel, hotel there, balcony. Hotel. There's no, it's not even a suite.
There's not like a kitchen area or a living room or something's a bathroom. There's a bathroom, [00:07:00] and you could be just out on the balcony in said room and walk back in to use the bathroom and chasta think that you're, you're gone.
Speaker: Well, I was worried.
Speaker 3: Oh my God, you left me. I was worried. I can't believe. No.
I was like, wow. You could have just taken like one step inside the balcony.
Speaker: How many of our listeners do you think hide in the bathroom?
Speaker 3: Oh no.
Speaker: That could be something you could talk about. Probably she's going
Speaker 3: after us right now. Watch out.
Speaker: That may be when you're at your realist, people may be at their most authentic selves in the bathroom.
Whether you're singing in the shower, using whatever you do in the bathroom is probably true to who you are. Would you agree?
Speaker 3: Nobody Listen
Speaker: in a private bathroom? Not in a public bathroom.
Speaker 3: It's probably the best place to listen to this podcast. Right in the bathroom.
Speaker: Absolutely. You don't even have to put your AirPods in in the shower.
Put that Bluetooth on. Um, so anyway, we digress.
Speaker 3: Always goes back to the bathroom around there.
Speaker: Always in our house. Yes.
Let's talk about back in your auditioning days when you, oh my gosh.
When you created a narrative that [00:08:00] was entirely untrue.
Speaker 3: Are you talking about the guitar pick?
Speaker: No.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker: When you maybe left the second time around. Second casting cycle.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I did do that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah. That was all in my head. I'll let you tell the story.
Speaker: Well, I'll tell it shortly. Okay. I'm just, I'm just gonna give like a little two sentence version of it, but basically you had auditioned for something that you had already done.
You were very capable. You were so convinced by someone else that had showed up at the audition that they would be cast over you. That you withdrew without even knowing the casting, even though you were initially cast in the part that you thought you weren't going to be, but then, then you dropped out.
So it didn't matter. You weren't, but
Speaker 3: good job, John.
Speaker: You actually manifested the narrative you created in your head. Ouch. Manifestation is powerful. I always say that
Speaker 3: you love a good manifestation. You believe in. It's powerful. Here I am using it the wrong way.
Speaker: Yeah, you used it the wrong way. And one thing that I wanna talk about, [00:09:00] um, when you think about that is that was a prime example of comparison.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: And
Speaker 3: the thief of joy.
Speaker: Yes. That's what I was about to say. That is what I love to say. Comparison is the thief. The thief of joy.
Speaker 3: And a lot of times that comparison really. Comes into play when we're being inauthentic. You know, as a reason why you might being, why you might be inauthentic
Speaker: and think about social media.
Speaker 3: Oh,
Speaker: it must be 'cause it is. It is. You know, it just farms comparison.
Speaker 3: You don't think LinkedIn is super, super real and authentic.
Speaker: LinkedIn, I can hardly read through the content, through the accomplishments and such to figure out what it's even saying because it's like multip paragraphs. I
Speaker 3: don't understand.
Like why? LinkedIn is even a thing.
Speaker: It's too bad we don't have like some LinkedIn posts to like read out loud, like dramatically.
Speaker 3: Oh, we should have prepared. So send us, send us your best,
Speaker: send us the most ridiculous
Speaker 3: LinkedIn
Speaker: post.
Speaker 3: We wanna see 'em.
Speaker: And my thought is, 'cause some days I'm like, I should be posting more [00:10:00] on LinkedIn.
I do say that in my end,
Speaker 3: right?
Speaker: But then I'm also just like. What? What do I say to fit this vibe?
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then everybody's like commenting on the post. People never comment, reacting.
Speaker: People never comment on my LinkedIn post.
Speaker 3: Nobody listens to Chasta and nobody comments on our LinkedIn post.
Speaker: They don't. I'm doing it wrong.
Speaker 3: No, it's because you're not part of corporate America where these people are out there. They're probably like mandated to make these posts. Like me and my great team just finished a 14 week project where we were crunching numbers like nobody cares. But then
Speaker: I know, I'm
Speaker 3: like, you look at those 7,000 reactions and like I,
Speaker: it's like, are they just sitting at their computer?
Do they get like a, like, you know, remember back in the day of school we had drop everything in read hour. Oh, like are they all like, oh dear, LinkedIn hour, ready, set, go.
Speaker 3: I'm, I like, I don't know. Tell us. I've never worked corporate, worked in corporate America, but I promise that there's probably like there LinkedIn hour, LinkedIn quotas that you gotta hit or something.
Right. And '
Speaker: cause LinkedIn wasn't a big thing then. It like reemerged,
Speaker 3: was [00:11:00] it COVID? Did it like get a COVID? I
Speaker: can't, I don't know.
Speaker 3: COVID. I don't know either.
Speaker: But there is,
Speaker 3: this sure is a special place,
Speaker: but I mean, it could be said for all social media.
Speaker 3: Definitely.
Speaker: Yeah. E every single platform has its own
Speaker 3: look, I, I probably am on TikTok too much.
I know you've.
Speaker: I deleted it.
Speaker 3: You, you've completely abandoned. Good for you. That's
Speaker: wonderful. I never was all in on it though.
Speaker 3: But there,
Speaker: even though I've been a, like, people have asked me over the years, but I just, I can't do it.
Speaker 3: There is this like type of video that I get over and over on my FYP and it's like the same 20 something year old dude, different font of like,
Speaker 2: this is my day with like blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 3: And they wake up at 6:00 AM they go for a run. They're like, this is awesome. Oh,
Speaker: well, I'll see those for
Speaker 3: women.
Speaker: And
Speaker 3: then they're like, start their work day, get some coffee, breakfast with it. And it's like. This is not actually your day because you set up your phone and like all of these different shots and went back and edited it.
None of this is real, but like the way that everybody sees it, [00:12:00] because of the way our society works is we think that this, this is real, but it's not. It's all manufactured.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It's performative. And like, it's like the same white dude in a different font.
Speaker: I don't know. Well, and I get similar ones on, I mean, yeah.
What are the women, what are the, so the wom, it's um, well, usually the workout happens pre coffee. Oh, with your collagens?
Speaker 3: Mm. The collagens are cool.
Speaker: And then you have a very fancy coffee. Cool. That does not look, look like our Mr. Coffee. Coffee Pot. And then you prepare this incredible spread for the children for breakfast.
Speaker 3: Oh, taking care of the children.
Speaker: And then you do all of your, you know, you shower 'cause you have on like your luxury workout attire, you know, for your,
Speaker 3: oh right. Alo. Maybe a little bit of a,
Speaker: well I thought we weren't saying brand names.
Speaker 3: Oh, I forgot.
Speaker: So
Speaker 3: last time. Way too many
Speaker: luxury workout attire.
Speaker 3: Luxurious
Speaker: and, and then so that you know, then the children come down, pack up, go to school, you're in your car, getting some content.
Maybe then maybe you pick up another coffee out and about maybe some oat milk or maybe a matcha. Ah, matcha. Matcha [00:13:00] are very popular and you know, then you have like your little salmon and a little bit of vegetables for your lunch. Um, maybe you have a few client calls, but only for a couple of hours because you're such a mega millionaire on two hours of work a day and keeping everything perfect for the children.
You don't have to do anything else. Are they
Speaker 3: holding the coffee mug with two hands or,
Speaker: you know, steam? Oh, yeah. With,
Speaker 3: with
Speaker: like, with, um, the art on top. Then after that you do your second workout.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker: Followed by the cold plunge. We doing two workouts like, like in the afternoon. It's like Pilates and cold plunge.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker: Then you pick up the children and then you have another nice high protein dinner. And then you relax.
Speaker 3: We're doing it so wrong. I've never, I haven't done any of these things in my day.
Speaker: I know. It's really fascinating.
Speaker 3: I think Sebastian has spaghetti for breakfast a lot. That's
Speaker: sometimes when he requests it.
Yeah.
Speaker 3: I haven't seen any for you page daily videos where they make the kids spaghetti for breakfast.
Speaker: Nobody wants, nobody wants to see on their Where you page me [00:14:00] cooking first off.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker: It is a skill that I'm developing. But the spaghetti is my specialty. And when you try to jump in, I kindly ask you to please not.
Speaker 3: That's also true. God forbid I mess up the box spaghetti
Speaker: because that is me being real.
Speaker 2: Being
Speaker 3: real.
Speaker: Um, but that's a great point. And you know, another, so girls geared for greatness and nonprofit that I founded, um, we have these conversations a lot about what's depicted on social media and in algorithms.
And one of the things we talk about a lot are the, what did you eat in a day?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I've seen those
Speaker: too. And how, how that can be really detrimental for body image, sense of self diet. Because every body, every single body has different dietary needs.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: Like you can't be figuring out what you need to eat based on a.
Like why are, why are people posting what they eat in a day?
Speaker 3: I guess? Because it must be garnering impressions, right?
Speaker: And my question is, is that actually what they're eating in a day? Yeah. That that's, or is it being curated? It's only what, on camera? Or is it being curated for the impressions?
Speaker 3: I mean, absolutely.
You [00:15:00] have no idea what they're eating when that camera's off.
Speaker: I know. So that's
Speaker 3: those people with the fruit spreads that you're talking for their children. They might be eating spaghetti too.
Speaker: They might. So those are all, these are all great points of
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker: The false, the false fake existence that we're all kind of trapped in.
Like, don't you always say like, we're in like a matrix
Speaker 3: or something. Well, look, I, look, I can, I just have like a conspiracy theory episode at some point. 'cause maybe I'm just, every time I start talking to, you're like, well wait a second there buddy. My God, you're pretty weird.
Speaker: We'll have to structure it.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker: But another thing I'm thinking about are the dorm rooms. Have, you probably don't get this on your algorithm, but it's like,
Speaker 3: what?
Speaker: So, you know there used to be this MTV show back in the day called Pimp My Ride.
Speaker 3: Oh,
Speaker: do you remember that?
Speaker 3: I am
Speaker: familiar. And they would like trick out the cars and stuff. I thought you
Default_2026-04-30_4: were
Speaker 3: gonna go cribs
Speaker: or cribs.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: But now it's like these dorm rooms are couture.
Speaker 3: Okay. Yeah. Wow. That's not my college experience. You would never want to show anything [00:16:00] going on in the dorm rooms. Yeah.
Speaker: Like, like
Speaker 3: top the sweet style bathrooms.
Speaker: Top to and Yeah. Like they're grubby dorms. Yeah. That they somehow. Flipped.
Speaker 3: They've like hung the lights and
Speaker: I mean, it's a bum And beyond that and, and a lot of the brands have capitalized on it.
Speaker 3: Oh,
Speaker: like luxury brands have capitalized on bedding sets, decor. Um, it is not the dorm decorations of our day
Speaker 3: clearly.
Speaker: But that's like another example of like, is this like, are we doing this because we really, truly, deeply want this aesthetic? Or is it because we feel like we have to run with the crowd on their social media groups?
Social media photos.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker: It's almost like I was never in Greek life, and I'm not gonna get too deep into Greek life today. Maybe that's a podcast of its own because you do have some Greek life experience, would you say?
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker: Um, but I think, you know, I've heard from sororities that, for example, the same outfit [00:17:00] can't be pictured more than once on social media.
Now in the modern times,
Speaker 3: I'm out excommunicated in that case and I've got like three or four posts of years in a row. And because I don't really post, but when I'm on you trying, I'm wearing the same like three. You're trying make sure you weren't wearing the same thing for
Speaker: the podcast
Speaker 3: today. Travel. Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker: But it's just like, what are we doing? Like what if everybody could just be who they are?
Speaker 3: Jasta says stuff like that all the time. Like I'll ask her what she wants for Christmas. She's like, world peace. I'm like, oh yeah. Oh, but like she genuinely means it. That's right.
Speaker: I genuinely think about it.
I think about it.
Speaker 3: Jasta believes that the impossible can be done
Speaker: because how many times do I come home and I'm just like, I wish they could just be like their authentic self.
Speaker 3: Yeah. About somebody
Speaker: or somebody. Yeah. Or like, I'll feel like people are trapped in like an expectation or a circumstance. Yeah. Or, or reality that they're, they're feeling or sensing or that there's this, like grass is greener [00:18:00] mentality and it's so easy, like it's so easy to fall into these traps too.
. I've had kind of a strange and quiet year. I
Speaker 3: don't like when you say
Speaker: stuff
Speaker 3: like that. No,
Speaker: I don't mean, I don't mean quiet by like peaceful. That's not what I mean.
Default_2026-04-30_4: Okay.
Speaker: I mean, quiet as in, I've been quiet.
Speaker 3: Make sure our Joe, our producer, just archive that away somewhere. Please, if you don't mind, keep going
Speaker: [00:19:00] because I don't know, like I've just. This the, and the whole reason the podcast is called Nobody Listens to Chasta because I was feeling like my voice was very unvalued in a lot of spaces. Okay. So I just stopped talking.
The
Speaker 3: corporate spaces, maybe
Speaker: corporate spaces where you doing it? Um, places about truth, like the private equity and dance spaces. Dance spaces, you know, people saying like, no, we don't want this thought, we don't want these ideas.
Speaker 3: I'm get, I'm following you.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker: So, I mean, in our home life, no, you probably don't feel like I've been very quiet, but that's why you're like, please just get a microphone and start talking.
But in the public facing sphere, you know, I haven't been posting on social media as much. I haven't written nearly as many blog articles. Got
Speaker 3: fired by
Speaker: Yeah,
Speaker 3: many groups.
Speaker: Many groups. Yeah. Let's leave all the, all the volunteering and paid, but we won't, we won't go there. Um,
Speaker 3: you can email us, we'll
Speaker: give you the dirt, but it's just.
Yeah, it was just of just like, okay, I, I don't wanna change who I am because that [00:20:00] is one thing that I felt, and when I've been in these spaces, I've seen how the authenticity leads to more authenticity. Like, I'll never forget being in a room, and it was with a lot of men where in the audience, which isn't my typical audience.
Yeah. So it was, it was a whole new dynamic and I was hoping it would land. And I was talking about, you know, I mentioned my parents dying and my dad died when he was 28, my mom when she was 34. And how, what a gift it is to live past those years. Yeah. And to not stop living just because you feel stuck. And I heard back in my feedback form that a guy went to a supervisor and actually said he had never felt as true to himself as he did in that day because he realized that he had trapped himself in this idea that he would not live it live past the age that his parent had died.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker: Yeah, so like really, really powerful people, focused conversation, things we all experience. So there are a lot of [00:21:00] systems in place that are moving away from being people focused.
Speaker 3: Yeah,
Speaker: social media is one of them that is big tech manipulating all of us. And how we compare ourselves, how we see ourselves.
Um, we can get to the bots in a minute, but it's, we're moving away from people focused truths.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And I know that, you know,
Speaker: and that made me sad.
Speaker 3: I know, I know. But on a more positive note. I know that when you are out there and you are given the chance to share more than just that opportunity of you sharing what means so much to you is when you do hear from the people who are out there Yeah.
And you hear their stories. And that's so true because that's not the same as somebody reposting your Instagram re Right. Or to sharing your story. Right. Right.
Speaker: Yeah,
Speaker 3: yeah. Like you're actually sharing a story in those person to person interactions.
Speaker: It's, it's human to human. It's not under this mask of virality, which [00:22:00] is like why I've been thinking about this a lot this year in my quietness.
Why is virality something that we achieve when it is literally from the root word virus?
Speaker 3: I was about to say, you sound like a doctor or like a research medicine person up here. Every time we're all just say by Ralph. I said a lot. But that's what people want. They want to go viral.
Speaker: They want to go viral, but, and
Speaker 3: it does viral, has a negative connotation,
Speaker: but they're never like, oh, gimme that stomach virus.
I want my post to go viral, but I don't wanna get that stomach virus.
Default_2026-04-30_4: You
Speaker 3: know, me, I, that's my worst
Speaker: fear is know stomach. You have a freakish fear of stomach virus, but it's that, it's the same thing. So on the people side of like actually living and being real actual people, we don't want a virus. But when we jump into the digital sphere,
Speaker 3: we wanna be one.
Speaker: All we want is to be the virus on that algorithm.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And it's, I mean, it's been proven over and over, especially in the newer days of social media that, and I, I mean I've gone viral with like sports, sports related tweets and stuff is it means, yeah, you went viral recently. It doesn't [00:23:00] grow your following it, it just, it's
Speaker: like you get
Speaker 3: three, you get a dopamine
Speaker: hit for like
Speaker 3: a few hours and then it's gone.
It's 15 minutes of fame. It's like three seconds. Yeah. You got three seconds of fame and then nobody cares.
Speaker: Like, remember that viral post, um, about the costuming that I had?
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: And the comments were just brutal.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: And not, not rooted in reality. And it was like, what? It was not fun.
Speaker 3: Give people a little bit of context about that
Speaker: costuming
Speaker 3: post.
So
Speaker: it was basically, I was just sharing from like the dance lens of. Why should we be costuming children in inappropriate costumes? Like they should basically be costumed in a way that they might perform
Speaker 3: age appropriate,
Speaker: age appropriate. So like when you think of age appropriate children shows, what do you think about Annie Children and Mary Poppins?
Um,
Speaker 3: oh, you're talking about like shows, things
Speaker: like that they would actually,
Speaker 3: Paul patrol
Speaker: things that they would actually performing a character in, right? Performing in, so like Annie, um, children in Lion King, Mary Popin, Newsies, Peter [00:24:00] Pan, right? So think about where you see children on stage and how are they dressed.
Right. They're dressed like children.
Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: And that's not what we're seeing in the dance competition space where it's more like Vegas showgirl. And it's, and it's like, the question is, is that age appropriate? Well, but the comment would suggest that I was in the wrong proposing the question.
Speaker 3: You're crazy for trying to think that children IPOing
Speaker: question
Speaker 3: age appropriately.
How dare you?
Speaker: So it's just, it's so complicated and, and I think the danger is that we can get trapped into that algorithm.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah,
Speaker: right. It can suck us in the
Speaker 3: second. They changed all that from chronological to your algorithmically fed posts. It's been bad news.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Especially for people of a certain generation on Facebook.
But yes, for all of us,
Speaker: yes. But to that point, you can start living. For the likes.
Speaker 3: Living. For the likes,
Speaker: yeah. To seek that validation, that dopamine hit. Then you're turning on your actual life [00:25:00] completely because your life is being curated for the algorithm.
Speaker 3: Look man, you're the one that said me talking about the matrix.
Here we go. You're talking about a now.
Speaker: Okay, so now one step further is we go through, is everybody fake? We do know there are a lot of interactions that we're having now that are fake.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker: Straight up bots.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: And I had a bot,
Speaker 3: when you say bots, and I would just like to say this because I think there's a lot of misconceptions.
Bots have been around for quite a while. Yeah. In terms of something that's programmed, but now there's ai
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 3: As well. And that is a whole different animal on social media.
Speaker: On social media.
Speaker 3: Yeah, ai.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker 3: Because you, I
Speaker: was thinking more about the customer service bots,
Speaker 3: right? I mean, that, that's a whole nother thing, but I'm just talking about now that you have entity, I mean, it's an, they're entities.
They may not have bodies, but it's an entity that is capable of creating their own response thought. Mm-hmm. [00:26:00] Posts things like that. It. I probably the most famous thing right now is there's actually an AI actress out there. I can't remember what her name is. No,
Speaker: I remember.
Speaker 3: But she's like trying to get roles.
Speaker: Yeah. SAG AFTRA was not happy about that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: And SAG AFTRA is the, you know, the union. Um, there's another one I was reading about that just last week that is a politically charged influencer. You know, I'm not gonna get into details of it, but people could look it up. Um. Politically charged influencer, and she monitors, she, the AI generated platform generated so much funds it put this person that created it through college.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
Speaker: Yeah. As an experiment.
Speaker 3: So you're, you're talking about the new AI customer service agents
Speaker: or you, not, not with the influencer, but a step behind that
Speaker 3: was, but
Speaker: while was, yeah. Yeah. They're not real,
Speaker 3: they're not helpful.
Speaker: And I'm asking them, please pass me on [00:27:00] to a human. And they tell me they can't do that.
Tell you that, that they're limited.
Speaker 3: Wow. That's so brave and wonderful thought. But here I think I can help you. Yeah.
Speaker: And they just send me links of what I should read.
Speaker 3: I am.
Speaker: And it's just, and it's like we, we've, and again, that further proves another step away from that human to human. Because I can't find community, I'm, and you know, I love finding community with the CU customer service reps.
Yeah. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. But I try to have an interpersonal experience with anyone that I speak to.
Speaker 3: And you speak to a lot of people.
Speaker: I know sometimes you're like,
Speaker 3: sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, I just wanna leave the grocery store. Or Oh my gosh, I just wanna watch this movie in peace. Why have we, or
Speaker: like we're at the theater.
Speaker 3: Yeah. In New York or the Yeah. You make a lot of friends there.
Speaker: I do. I like learning about the stories around me.
Speaker 3: You like telling them too though?
Speaker: I do. If we find commonality.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: [00:28:00] But you know, it's, I don't, A few years ago I was there by myself to New York. In New York. In New York. Um, it was when Handle The Horrible Came out, which arguably is a very authentic book.
Like I feel like I poured my soul into that book.
Speaker 3: I love that book.
Speaker: Yeah. Nobody really read it.
Speaker 3: I did. That's the
Speaker: thing though though, I did listen
Speaker 3: to Chas.
Speaker: I handle the Horrible did. Yeah. And you might've been one of the few. But it's good, it real even now. 'cause there will be days when it feels horrible.
Yeah. And I will actually pick up that book and I'm like, this is so insightful. Um, but I don't know if you remember, I was kind of sad 'cause I was there by myself and as I was saying, like, you know, DJ was meeting up with me. A day or two, but I was there the first day and it was just like very quiet and weird and I decided I was gonna go to Funny girl.
Do you remember?
Speaker 3: Yeah. Now I remember this. Yeah.
Speaker: And I met this group of ladies on the sidewalk going to the box office and they were like, why don't you just sit with us and you can have this extra ticket for our fourth friend that wasn't able to join us? That wait, that would be
Speaker 3: amazing. Wait, wasn't the for friend had like passed away or am I making that up?
Speaker: It seemed like there [00:29:00] was a story.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. And something just, and they were like, we just feel like our spirits were like, led together today. I know there's, there's a lot of spirits surrounds very like, but, and we sat and we watched the show together and I gave them a signed copy of the book. Oh. And it was a very sweet story.
Speaker 3: So they've read it.
Speaker: Maybe,
Speaker 3: maybe,
Speaker: maybe not. People don't really like to read books anymore, it seems. So we're doing a podcast.
Speaker 3: I would say maybe the opposite. I think like reading is kind of making a comeback in,
Speaker: hold on, hold on. No, wait. I love that you said that because this is something we've talked about.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker: Is it making a comeback it or is it being posted? It's perform.
Speaker 2: Oh,
Default_2026-04-30_4: no,
Speaker: but and I know, and I know a lot of these people are reading books. Right. Oh,
Speaker 2: that makes me sad.
Speaker: But I would, I would be curious to know the stats Yeah. Of like, yeah.
Speaker 3: You could probably develop a, some generative AI to track what people actually, um, read and, and what they've simply posted.
Speaker: And I think, and I do,
Speaker 3: gosh, that scares me.
Speaker: But there, I [00:30:00] mean, there are people that are like very honest. Yeah. And the post reviews, there's
Speaker 3: someone that works in our office that are our office that is always reading and never posts about it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So there are those, those people are out there. Yes.
Speaker: Yeah. Um, and.
And you know, I think a lot of people get book recommendations online. Yeah. So I think that's, and you know, there's book talk or books to grant, you know, or whatever.
Speaker 3: But then that's social. That's social media.
Speaker: It is. And so I think it's one of those things that it's like, it's a mix of, there's probably authenticity and probably,
Speaker 3: you know, who doesn't care
Speaker: who
Speaker 3: bookstores.
'cause I think they're doing well
Speaker: either. You know what? People will buy the book because it's been posted and they may only read 10 pages or they may never pick
Speaker 3: it up. Yeah. And they might wanna post about it inside the bookstore.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Tag the location.
Speaker: Yep. So I love books. I hope I want books to survive.
When I was like, should I just write another book or should I do a podcast? It feels like people are listening right now. I mean, maybe not to me, but people are listening to podcast, to audio books. Like there has been [00:31:00] like, I think people are tuning into this type of content.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Until the, they start tuning into all the AI ones that are hosting their own podcasts and writing their own books and
Speaker: that, and you know, that was a big thing with.
Um, with writing the children's book was finding an illustrator that actually does Yeah. Hand drawn illustrations that, that, that the illustrations would not be AI generated.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: As an artist, it felt really important to me. That it actually have an authentic illustrator that did the pencil drawings and the overlays, et cetera.
But that's, that's a rarity.
Speaker 3: Yeah. We don't all have the funds of Taylor Swift to go out there. You know, she just made sure that her voice will never be like AI used or anything like that. We don't all have that cash line around a lawyer up for that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So. But your nice little Chasta, Hamilton fairy voice, they're gonna have a lot of trouble getting yours.
Right? They're gonna, it's gonna be a while before they get that one.
Speaker: Yeah. I can probably get it to a higher pitch too, if I tried
Speaker 3: Chipmunk [00:32:00] style.
Speaker: Yes. But I do, I think this is so good because I think it's just an awareness of is everybody fake and who's not? And when we find the people that aren't, I feel like we have to really value that.
I'll always say, thank you for being so transparent, or Thank you for being so authentic. 'cause sometimes it's really hard for people to do that because it's not the standard. It's not the norm.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Calls back to the status quo episode, right?
Speaker: Yes. Like I would rather so
Speaker 3: all tie together
Speaker: when you see tears, that's a person actually feeling not sucking it in and masking.
Speaker 3: That's such a good point because in my life, growing up. It was not okay for tears to be shown. Really, to be completely honest with you, it, it, at least it didn't feel that way to me.
Speaker: That was your perception. And
Speaker 3: so when I first met you, I
Speaker: cried a lot.
Speaker 3: She has to cries a lot and she does not care where [00:33:00] she cries.
Right? And at first that was like, oh God, everyone is looking at me. What is going on? But I'm kind of
Speaker: used to it now. I mean's not like, it's not like a tantrum, it's just like, oh
Speaker 3: yeah, maybe not. Tantrum
Speaker: the time that I left my purse in New York City at the delta counter, that was, that was extreme it, but
Speaker 3: I
Default_2026-04-30_4: just
Speaker: kind
Speaker 3: of looking at her like, Hey, what's up?
Yeah, no, she, we're all good. She's
Speaker: working through it. It
Speaker 3: just let her go.
Speaker: But when we suppress those emotions, we step away from our authenticity. Versus into it, we lean away instead of towards.
Speaker 3: Well, your son is certainly not expressing his emotion, so great job.
Speaker: Yeah. You
Speaker 2: won't be bottling anything up. Hey, bury that.
Don't you
Speaker 3: be feeling all that? No, he's, he's
Speaker: letting it, he was filling it with me that day. The delta counter too.
Speaker 3: He dropped it, the floor. He dropped it so dramatically. I don't think he fully even understand.
Speaker: He didn't, he just felt my energy and then it spread. But it is like this idea of, of just embracing the now.
Yeah. Even in [00:34:00] the chaos, and it's like, how, where do we strip away the reality and not re and the reality being like, what is actually real versus something that's fake. Our faces don't need to look like Snapchat filters.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: We don't need lip fillers.
Speaker 3: Now, your son does love the Snapchat filters. I gotta say that too.
He thinks he, he gets a kick out of those.
Speaker: Yeah, but he's not gonna go be a puppy dog.
Speaker 3: He's, I've seen
Speaker: Mac
Speaker 3: like a puppy dog.
Speaker: Like they're like, they, they can be fun, but they're not reality. And he knows that.
Speaker 3: Hopefully
Speaker: Grandma Govs was one that he used to
Speaker 3: have. That was a great one. He was talking like a grandma. Yep.
Speaker: Um, but yeah, I think we just, and I think these conversations should be happening in schools.
Parents should be having them with their children because the other thing is a lot of times people will present themselves in some way digitally. That's not who they actually are in person. Yeah. Um, letting people feel really confident and strong and capable in who they actually are, what they've experienced, how they're living [00:35:00] lives, the hardships, the challenges, the obstacles, the successes, all of those things.
Create a really unique individual. That's the kind of person I wanna be around. Not the one paragraph bio or the LinkedIn, the
Speaker 3: hoopty
Speaker: who,
Speaker 3: my typical day people, you know?
Speaker: Yeah. Not the, my typical, like, I wanna know what the craziest moment was like, tell me, tell me like what really happened. And so often, like people will tell me that, which I'm so grateful for, but they'll also often say like, I never felt comfortable sharing that before.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Cha of the therapist?
Speaker: No, I'm not
Speaker 3: cha of the priest in, ill confession over here.
Speaker: I'll just, and I'll just say, well, it's not the craziest thing I've heard, and it usually isn't.
Speaker 3: Yeah. When sometimes someone tries, you know, is trying to placate, it's like, well, I've heard worse. Like, no, Chasta actually
Speaker: asked.
I actually, I actually have, I've probably lived it. I've heard it, I've dealt with it. Um, but every opportunity, every [00:36:00] obstacle, every experience is an opportunity. To be more to your truth, to your authentic self.
Speaker 3: There's always gonna be another mountain. I quote Miley all the time, right?
Speaker: Yes. And I do wanna, I do wanna brand drop.
Um, that TV show we really loved everybody. Oh, help me with the name, the Jeff Hiller show.
Speaker 3: Oh, in Manhattan, Kansas.
Speaker: Yeah. What's the name?
Speaker 3: Oh no. Something we actually really like and we can't think of it.
Speaker: Yes, somebody is somewhere.
Speaker 3: There you go. Somebody somewhere. Somebody somewhere. Actually Sarah Millsaps was telling us about that.
Shout out. No, we told her
Speaker: no. We told her. We
Speaker 3: told you about that. Sarah Chasta told me to tell you. So, whoa,
Speaker: whoa.
Speaker 3: See this is the issue. Nobody listens to chess. I'm her husband. I don't listen to her. I try
Speaker: you. You didn't even wanna listen. Watch the show did but, but I was like, let's just try it. Saw
Speaker 3: I had some Broadway people in it.
I saw, I profiled that show. I took two looks at it and was like, no, thank you. And it was heartfelt. It's
Speaker: incredible.
Speaker 3: Wonderful. Endearing.
Speaker: And it ended with
Speaker 3: Brilliant.
Speaker: The Climb.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it did
Speaker: that. Awesome. That's what I was getting to with it. Yeah. Yeah. Always [00:37:00] gonna be an uphill battle.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: So thank you Miley for that.
Speaker 3: Thank you Miley.
Speaker: Alright, well, so if you could tell anybody three things that they could do to be more true to themselves, what would you tell them?
Speaker 3: Listen to Chasta.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker 3: There's one. Do not think about what you see on social media as any type of reality or anything that you need to aspire to. And another one from Chasta.
Trust your gut.
Speaker: Oh my gosh. I do say that all the time, don't I? Trust it. Trust your
Speaker 3: gut.
Speaker: I was really bad at that for a long time. 'cause I just wanted to, I thought everybody was just, you know. Really nice.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say you were naive.
Speaker: I was naive.
Speaker 3: I might
Speaker: say I wasn't trusting.
Speaker 3: God. Can, can I help you figure out how to get past that?
Speaker: Be a little more
Speaker 3: selective? 'cause I'm cynical.
Speaker: At least ask the hard questions.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: And now I ask all the questions. Yeah. And I don't have all the answers. I. But I am who I [00:38:00] am. And on that, I hope that you feel like you can be who you are. Thank you for listening to us today. It's been a good one. Is everybody fake?
I don't know. I think a lot of people are. I hope that you feel a little more real after listening to this. If there are ways that you feel like you are more real, reach out. Let us know. If there's ways that you feel like you've been trapped in the fakeness, reach out. Let us know. We love having you here.
Thank you for listening. Thank you for being a part of this community. Subscribe, keep listening, pass it on to a friend, and let's all be a little more real. To thank you. [00:39:00]