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In these Deep Dive Snippets, I'll be sharing some of my favourite moments from past episodes of the podcast.
In this snippet, Will Storr, author of The Status Game, explains that we're never the hero in other people's stories, which is why gaining social status doesn't come from being the loudest voice in the room, but from being a helpful addition to the stories happening around you.
Listen to the full episode here π https://open.spotify.com/episode/76kwNrHOUErPb27FO5qwUU?si=x6hJK_RiTZuPxR72Jcz-HQ
Dr Ali Abdaal is the worldβs most followed productivity expert and author of Feel-Good Productivity, the brand new book that reveals why the secret to productivity isnβt discipline, itβs joy. In his podcast, Deep Dive, Ali sits down with inspiring creators, thinkers, entrepreneurs and high performers to help listeners build lives that they love.
Aliβs cheerful style, positive approach, and well-researched content have made him a trusted voice when it comes to productivity. The internet means that we have access to more knowledge and information than ever before - but it can also be overwhelming. So, Ali and his expert guests focus on simple, scientifically proven, and actionable steps you can take to make real changes in your life.
Aliβs a firm believer that happiness isnβt the result of success - in fact, happiness is the key to success in the first place. Ali made this discovery while working as a doctor in a chaotic hospital ward. In the past, hard work had been the answer to every obstacle in his life. But no amount of hard work was going to combat panic and burnout.
So, Ali dedicated himself to figuring out a new approach to productivity - one that focuses on enjoying the journey and working towards truly meaningful goals. Deep Dive, with its authentic and engaging conversations, will give you all the insights you need to do just that.
Ali Abdaal 0:00
Hey friends, how's it going? Welcome back to the deep dive snippet. In this little clip I'm speaking to will store the author of the best selling book of the status game. And in this little clip, he and I are talking about that given that we know that ultimately, we're all fundamentally motivated by the chase ended the desire for social status, how can we use that concept to end up being more likeable at work, and in our day to day lives, and through the people that we come across. Now, this is not a video clip about the science of manipulating people for your nefarious ends or anything like that. It's literally a guide on how to understand human motivation, and therefore use that to be more likeable at work, if that's what you're into. Anyway, let's roll the clip, there was an interesting chapter where he talked about sort of the real life cues that we give off when we are higher status or lower status. And I wonder like, often, you know, we did a survey for the podcast, and people said that they like getting actionable tips that they can apply in their work life. Yeah, I was kind of thinking that like, Are there actionable tips that you can apply in your work life? For example, knowing knowing that the status game exists? In every, every relationship you're gonna have at work? For example?
Will Storr 0:59
Yeah, I think I think so. You know, one of the things I think is really important is is in the business context, is to always have that understanding that you're never the hero in other people's stories. They're always the hero, they're always they went on this great pursuit of status, which their brain remixes as this kind of heroic, you know, pursuit. And so it's much better in a business context to come across as the kind of that like you're a helpful person in their story. Yeah. So there's a story scholar, who I think was really smart guy called Christopher Booker, who wrote a book called The seven basic plots. It's like a huge like, 2000 word, 2000 page thing, I think, because a huge kind of tome. But but he writes about this archetypal figure in storage with a light figure. And the exact and the light figure is like, the light doesn't light. Yeah, exactly. The light figure, and the light figures come into the story. And they're like the ghost in the Christmas, Carol, their job is there to help Scrooge become heroic to see the area do. And so I think in the business context, if you go in there boast boasting, I'm amazing want to work with me, I'm fantastic. You're going to put people off because you're not their hero, they're the hero. So you're much better off being the light figure. And your story is, this is how I'm going to help you gain status, I'm going to do these things to help you. And so that's the first thing. And then the second thing is, is about impression management. So there's lots of sciences looked at looked at how do we how socially do we give a good impression to other to other people. And for a long time, they talked about two domains, warmth and competence. And more recently has been argued that there's there should be a third domain added to that, which is morality. And when I was reading about this, it really struck me because in the book, I write about this three status games as dominance, which is the aggressive animalistic status game. There's virtue in their success. And those three, they called them warmth, competence, and morality, but I call it warmth, competence, and sincerity. Okay, you map on perfectly to those three status games. Yeah. So I don't I don't know that. I don't think that's a coincidence. You know, I think that that is interesting that those map onto those three status games so well. And the logic is, when you approach somebody with warmth, what you're subconsciously signalling to that person is that are not going to compete for status with dominance with you're not going to threaten you, I'm not going to coerce you, I'm not going to use physical violence against you, you know, so we're going to have a healthy, non aggressive status game. When you're signalling with sincerity. You're saying I'm going to play a good virtue game with you, which is I'm going to be in a morally respectable, that does not mean I'm going to let the suck up to you, I'm gonna give you bullshit, I'm going to tell you the truth. And when I'm not happy, I'm going to tell you I'm not happy. So I'm going to be sincere, you know, always going to be honest with you. And then finally, competence. If you if you come across as a competent person you are, you're signalling not only am I going to be useful to work out not only am I going to be useful to our, our, our group, our game, but you know, you also might learn some stuff from me. So there are things that I can do. And if you learn how to do them for me, you also going to raise in status. Yeah, so I think if you if you can, it's obviously easier said than done. But it but if you can, if you can manifest in those three ways, warm sincerity and competence, it's very hard to know how you're going to fail in life. You know, and you know, you can't just come across in those ways. You've got to actually live those ideals. You've got to be sincere. You've got to be non aggressive, and you've got to be competent. You've got to be good at your you've got to be good at the thing that you're doing.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai