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For over 25 years Proverbs 31 Ministries' mission has been to intersect God's Word in the real, hard places we all struggle with. That's why we started this podcast. Every episode will feature a variety of teachings from president Lysa TerKeurst, staff members or friends of the ministry who can teach you something valuable from their vantage point. We hope that regardless of your age, background or stage of life, it's something you look forward to listening to each month!
KALEY OLSON:
Hi, friends. Thanks for tuning into the Proverbs 31 Ministries podcast where we share biblical truth for any girl in any season. I'm your host, Kaley Olson, and I'm here today with my co-host Meredith Brock.
MEREDITH BROCK:
Well, hey everybody. Good grief, Kaley. We just got done recording an episode with Wendy Blight about prayer.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
And this is not just any episode about prayer guys. This is about praying the word of God. Really over the people you love the most.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
The people you do life with the most. Those that God has placed in your path to influence.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
Praying the word of God over them and how transformative it is to you. And to those that you love.
KALEY:
Yeah.
MEREDITH:
And so you are gonna want to lean in, y'all get a, uh, pen, some paper. 'cause I think the Lord's gonna gonna go to work on your heart today.
KALEY:
I agree. I agree. I left feeling so hopeful.
MEREDITH:
Mm-hmm.
KALEY:
And I'm really excited for our listeners to get some practical handles in praying for their families in this episode. But speaking of getting helpful insight on how to be a better parent or a spouse. That's always a topic. Meredith, I feel like I need to learn more about. I don't know about you, but I do. Um, so the Therapy Theology Team created a brand new six episode series titled Fight for Your Family to meet listeners in any stage of life with biblical wisdom and therapeutic insight to help you fight for the relationships that matter most.
KALEY:
And Meredith, what I love about this is that whether it's through our prayer wall, women who write in to get help with what they're facing, or comments on social media, family and relational issues, or consistently. One of the top needs just consistently. And I think it's 'cause we want, we want that. We want right relationships, but circumstances are hard.
KALEY:
And so in this series, friends, I have a feeling you will be seen right where you are. So dig into this new therapy and theology series on any podcast platform or by watching the videos on our Proverbs 31 Ministries YouTube channel.
MEREDITH:
All right, friends, let's dive in to today's episode with our friend Wendy Blight.
KALEY:
Okay. All right, Wendy, welcome back to the show. We're so excited to have you back on. Love it.
WENDY:
I'm always always excited to be here.
KALEY:
Yeah. Well, um, I'm excited to have you on today because we've been in a season as a ministry after launching Lysa TerKeurst first prayer book titled, come Close to Jesus. Um, a season focused on prayer. And in this message, Lysa reminded us that we don't hve to have the words to pray. There are resources we can use like God's word and the words of others to help us. And Wendy, if there were ever a group of women who knew they needed to pray but didn't know exactly how to pray, it's moms, right Meredith?
MEREDITH:
Wow. Yes.
KALEY:
And Wendy,
MEREDITH:
Count me in that category.
KALEY:
I know you agree too. I know you agree too. Um, so we invited you, Wendy, to the show today to speak to that group of women who are listening. Who are moms or maybe our caretakers or grandmothers who want to pray but don't know how to pray, but. Guys, if you're listening, I wanna encourage you that even if you're not a mom in a season of life, there's principles from this teaching that I think will apply to your season.
KALEY:
But before we get started, I think it would be helpful to go through like the season of motherhood that we're all in. 'cause I think that'll be helpful context for our listeners to know we're not just speaking to one group of people. So I'll go first. I'm the youngest. Mm-hmm. I have a 20, a 20 month old. I don't know at what point you stopped saying months. He's almost two. Um, and a four. And a half year old. So I'm very much in the trenches. Meredith, you're like one season ahead.
MEREDITH:
Yeah. My, my motherhood journey is a little complicated 'cause it is, uh, always changing 'cause we're a foster family.
KALEY:
Yeah.
MEREDITH:
Um, so I currently have four children, uh, one who is 18, and then I have one who is 14, and then I have one who is 11 and one who is six.
KALEY:
That's, that's a lot of people in your house
MEREDITH:
That's a lot of children.
KALEY:
Yeah. Okay. Wendy, what about you?
WENDY:
Okay. I have none in the house. And I miss them, but they live here. But I have a, um, daughter who is 32, married to Morgan, who's 33, and then I have Bo who turned 28 in January, so I have no one at home, but they come by a lot, so that's fun.
KALEY:
Yeah. But no matter how old they are, still your babies.
WENDY:
And I am the old one, right?
KALEY:
No, you're the seasoned one we look up to and love to learn from.
WENDY:
I'm the seasoned one. So kind.
KALEY:
Yeah. But Wendy. You have been through this. and you have taught a group of women at your church who are in seasons, like in the trenches about how to pray scripture over your children, how to break down the barrier between not knowing what to pray mm-hmm. And using God's word. And so I would love with that for you to just dive into helping us learn how to do that well today.
WENDY:
Okay. That's my heart really is to be here. For people who are just like I was, um, as a young mom struggling to know what to pray, and I think our heart is, we don't, we want you to know you're not alone and we wanna breathe new life into your prayers.
WENDY:
That's what today is all about. And it is so easy to do this by changing one thing, and that's learning to incorporate God's word into your prayers. But, um, that's a really big word to say. What we're gonna talk about today is just weaving. I like to think of it as just weaving and sowing God's word into your prayers, but I want to, I want, you know, like you say, well, how could that make such a difference?
WENDY:
I want you to think about two questions that your child could say, mom, can I have a piece of candy? Or, mom, remember yesterday you promised me a piece of candy. May I have it now, please? Okay. Which one do you think resonates more with the mom when she hears it? Being reminded of her promise, right? And so that's how it is with God.
WENDY:
When we pray his word back to him, we are reminding him, we're laying his promises before him and we are inviting him to be at work in them. So sounds simple and also hard at the same time, right? So practically, how do we do it? And the way it began for me was just 'cause I found myself in a really hard place as a mom.
WENDY:
My daughter was in middle school and our house felt like a battlefield every single day. All we did was argue, and I knew I didn't want that for my family, and, but I also knew it was kind of what I grew up with. It was kind of the home that I lived in. And so I remember growing up saying, I'm never gonna be this kind of mom.
WENDY:
I'm never gonna be this kind of mom. But it's like I couldn't help myself because it's what I knew. And it was exhausting and I knew it wasn't what God wanted for my family, the more I was going to church. And I wanted some peace in my heart in our home. And I, the Lord as always goes before us and he met me in a place I would've never thought I was leaving the Y after a workout.
WENDY:
And I saw one of the, I'm gonna share a little bit of background later about this woman, but I met her. Coming out of the Y and we were fellow Bible study leaders. She was about 10 years ahead of me in raising her kids. And I stopped her in the hallway and I just shared my heart. You know, I poured my heart out and the brokenness and how I felt and how ashamed I felt, the yuck, the ugliness that filled my heart because I was just had a bad temper and I was always angry with my daughter and it.
WENDY:
I don't even know why I shared it with her. 'cause she was one of these women that you esteem greatly and so does everyone else. 'cause she just knows the word of God. She prays for everyone. Her prayers are eloquent and beautiful. And, but as we were talking and we got outside, I noticed she had tears in her eyes, and when I said my last word, she just looked at me and gently said, with the kindest words, and I didn't know how desperately I needed to know that I wasn't alone.
WENDY:
She said, I've been right where you are, Wendy. And she started to talk about her son and how they had that relationship early on. We kept standing there. I don't even know how long we were there. We were talking, we were crying, we were sharing, and finally she laid her hands on me and she prayed over me.
WENDY:
And as we hugged and said goodbye, and I walked to my car, I physically felt something shift inside of me. After I confessed and we prayed, I just felt at peace that I hadn't felt in a long time. And I think because I, that wasn't modeled in growing up. Uh, we prayed two prayers, you know, bless us, oh Lord, these I gifts after we ate dinner and I said, now I lay me down to sleep prayer before I went to bed.
WENDY:
And we went to mass sometimes on Sundays, and we had bibles in our house, but they were mostly on coffee tables and on bookshelves. We didn't really read them. But then I got to college and I went to Baylor, which is a Baptist university. And finally I started to go to church with roommates and. Got a little more faithful about going to church, but I still wasn't in Bible study or it didn't read my Bible much.
WENDY:
But in 1998, um, when my son was eight months old and Lauren was a kindergartner, I joined a real bible study, like the first real Bible study, and it's where I met this woman I told you, just told you about. And the teacher of that study, um, was so gifted and. For the first time in my life, I saw someone read the Bible in a way that made me wanna fall in love with it and, and just, it was contagious how much she loved the Bible.
WENDY:
And so I just dug deep in. And as I did that, and as I spent time with these ladies in this study, two years later, they asked me to join their leadership team. And like I said, they were all at least a decade older than I was. And I saw the way they prayed and I had never seen people pray like this in my life.
WENDY:
They prayed from this place of, from deep inside you could just feel the emotion in their prayers and it felt so bold and strong and confident and powerful. And. I began to learn, and some of the words sounded familiar in their prayers, you know, but I was like, I, that sounds familiar. And I learned finally, they were praying God's word.
WENDY:
And in his perfect timing, he brought another woman in my life at a She Speaks conference. We just happened to sit next to each other. That's a conference we have every summer that if you've never been, is amazing. Sorry, giving a little plug, but go for it. I mean, it, it has brought some of the most wonderful women into my life and her name is Jody Burnt and she took me from the spiritual, wonderful experience of, of watching this kind of prayer to teaching me how to do it.
WENDY:
She's written several books through the years. Each one written to pray for kids at different stages of their life. So I now have the adult one, but, and Meredith could use three different ones, but I give them away all the time. And what I learned from her lit a fire in my heart that, um, led me to start a prayer group with the moms in my neighborhood.
WENDY:
And we prayed for our school and our kids and then. I started a Bible study with those same moms, and over time it grew and eventually it led to why I'm here sitting here with you today. It led to my calling and it all came from a very bad place in my life because I sought God and I sought it. Prayer.
WENDY:
Then it became, prayer became the centerpiece of my life, um, and our home during the season. And it's not that I didn't pray for my kids before I did, I did pray for them. I prayed now what I call my simple prayers. And they were for good grades, you know, to make sure they were obedient and listen to their parents and to make new friends and to get into college that they wanted.
WENDY:
And, um, all those things. And they were valid and God honored them. I saw him at work in them. It's where I was, and it's what I knew. I wanna be sure Kaley, I wanna be sure I say that today. That is, those are valid, beautiful prayers to the Lord. They are not wrong, they are not less than. It's where we begin.
WENDY:
But just like God wants to deepen our faith, our prayer life needs to go deeper too. And that's why we're here today. And the most prayer transforming lesson I learned was this praying God's word. And when I asked my co-leaders, when I asked Jodi, why do you pray God's word? Maybe not in the exact same words, but each one responded with the same answer, God's word carries tremendous supernatural power.
WENDY:
That's why they wanted to pray it. So when we pray scripture, I want you to think about this. We pray the words that were first breathed by God into the Bible, that we hold in our hands. And so what we're doing is we're speaking those words back to him in prayer form. I promise you there is not one need you face as a parent or really take out parent right here.
WENDY:
There is not one need you face in life that God has not already thought of and provided for in his word. And so I want to give you two verses. Hebrews 4:12. Talks about the power of, the word for the word of God is living and active, and that word active in Greek is dunamis. And so think of dynamite. That means powerful. It is sharper than a two-edged sword, penetrating to soul and spirit, joints and marrow.
WENDY:
So now I wanna share about Isaiah 55:11, and it really states this as a promise in a different way, but I want you to pay attention to the analogy, um, from the prophet Isaiah as the rain and snow come down from heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it, but and flourish. So that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater.
WENDY:
Here's the analogy. So is my word that goes out from my mouth. It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. So when we pray God's word, what God is telling us is he takes that word and he plants it into the need we're praying for, and then he will cause it to flourish and accomplish what it says. So practically, how do we do this? .
WENDY:
First, we're gonna ask God to reveal the heart issue behind what we're praying and then find a few verses that directly address it. You might feel like I'm getting repetitive for the next couple of minutes, but it's because I really want you to see the process here. So now I said it directs a heart issue.
WENDY:
Why do I say heart issue? Because God's word tells us in Matthew 12:34. Whatever is in your heart determines what you say that really convicted me. Jesus teaches here that our tongue speaks out of the overflow of our heart, so I want you to imagine you fill up a cup, it starts to overflow. Whatever we pour into it is gonna pour out of it.
WENDY:
And so I had to ask myself, what am I pouring into my heart that my words always come out so angry and hurtful. So I started to just say, God, what am I speaking? Show me what I'm speaking about, my children to myself and to them. And so with my daughter, I was repeating. She's so disrespectful. She's mean, she's unkind. She doesn't do what I want. Why? What's wrong with her? Rarely did I speak a positive word, and I know I was modeling what I knew and experienced, but that's not a valid excuse to keep doing what you're doing.
WENDY:
And so. Your harsh words may be different than mine. Your specific situation might be different than mine, but a lot of times these all still come how we're acting, what we're saying through words we know are not God honoring and they're not life giving, but we have to recognize it first.
WENDY:
And I discovered that tongue was my problem and the words I spoke, and so I just started to pay more attention and I really, it hurt. I realized how harsh and mean and angry. My words were, and so I decided to find verses that directly address that heart issue first. My heart and why it was, why it was doing this, and how I could change it.
WENDY:
And I want, I wanna add to you, along this journey, I started to talk to my daughter about what I was doing so that she knew that I recognized and I apologized to her and I said, let's do this together. She has this very same verse I gave her, let's do this together. Um, but Psalm, it's Psalm 19:4, and it says, may the words of my mouth, I don't even have to look at it and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to you. Oh Lord, my God, my rock and my redeemer.
WENDY:
So what does it look like? I'm gonna show you right now with this verse, 'cause I still pray it every morning. Prayed it this morning before my heat at the my feet hit the floor. Father be so very near to me today. To ensure the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart are acceptable to you, oh Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
WENDY:
And when I, I added that on my own. Just be, be near to me so that I feel you convicting me, you know? And. I wanna give you two more verses just so you can have something from of your own that might be helpful where you are. And all of them are saying, measure your word against God's word. This one says, don't let any un Ephesians 4:29. Don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen.
WENDY:
And Proverbs 31:26. This is the Proverbs 31 woman. She speaks with wisdom, but I love this faithful instruction is on her tongue. So this doesn't mean we cannot discipline our children. It means we do it according to our faith and that it's instructive and not damaging or. Something that, um, is hurting them in their heart.
WENDY:
So let's get a bit more specific. Once you find your verses, I encourage you to save them in your phone, copy them in a journal, even memorize them. Lauren and I would memorize words together, I mean scriptures together. She'd put one on her bullet to board and I would put it on my mirror. We worked on this together. And then commit to praying them.
WENDY:
Remember God's promise when his word goes out, it won't return void. It will accomplish what he desires and achieve the purpose for which he sent it. In Wendy words a little more simply, when we pray God's word over our lives, over our hearts, over our homes, over our children, over our marriage, over our coworkers, even just anywhere, he will be faithful to prosper it, and that just means it's gonna bear fruit. You're gonna see him at work. It might take a while, Lauren and I didn't like, get over this in, you know, three weeks. It took probably six months, but we kept getting better and we did it together. God's living and active word, married with your faith makes your prayers powerful and effective because you are laying his promises before him and inviting him to activate those words in your heart and your child's life.
WENDY:
So. When we do this, like I said, I wanna say they can be your own children, but they can be students you teach with, or work or care for, or nieces or nephews or grandchildren. Do you know how beautiful it is as a parent to have other people praying God's word into your children? That's such a gift. So once again, repetitive here, prayerfully determine what's weighing on your heart.
WENDY:
Open your Bible search for the verses. How do you do that? If you're old fashioned like me, you can go to the A concordance in the back of your Bible if it has one, or just do a Google search, or even now, I don't know, chatGPT.
KALEY:
Yeah, do that.
WENDY:
I don't know if that
KALEY:
You can open the Bible app. If you open the Bible app, you can just type in a word.
WENDY:
Okay.
KALEY:
And it's kind of the same thing as a concordance, but it'll populate scripture, which is cool.
WENDY:
Okay. So, so many better ways than when I first started. Um, but. Look, if they're anxious, look for anxiety or worry prayers. And when you pinpoint it, and you'll know that 'cause the Lord's gonna prick your heart, invite 'em to show you how to personalize it.
WENDY:
I walked you through how I took God's word to um, I walked you through how I took God's word and prayed it for my daughter. She struggled with anxiety, with anxious feelings. That started to overwhelm her her freshman year of college. I was far away, four hours away. She was at University of Georgia. But because I had walked that journey just a few years before, here's what happened.
WENDY:
I already had 'em in my heart, but I started to pray them for her. But the verses were from Philippians 4:6-7. Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need. Thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand, and His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
WENDY:
We all know that verse, but if you don't know it, the verse right before six is five and it said the Lord is near. So when we're praying this, it says, tell us us right before the Lord is near. And then Isaiah 26:3. It's on my wrist right now. Y'all on a bracelet someone gave me when I had this anxiety journey, you will keep in perfect peace, the one whose mind who is steadfast because they trust in you.
WENDY:
So I'm gonna right now tell you how I prayed this for Lauren. So in my journal I wrote, father, my sweet girl, your beloved daughter. Her identity feels so anxious. Her mind never rests. She longs for peace in her heart and for her mind to settle down. So I'm praying. Declaring your word back to you on her behalf, reminding you of her promises for her.
WENDY:
And then I said, prayed. Please help Lauren to not worry about what's weighing on her heart and swirling about in her brain. Instead, prompt her by your spirit to pray about it with thanksgiving so that your peace that passes all understanding will guard her heart and mind in Jesus. I thank you that you alone are the one who will keep her in perfect peace when she commits to keep her mind steadfastly fixed on you and will trust in you. I pray this in Jesus' name.
WENDY:
And so that was something I did with her, but then. As we get closer to closing, I wanna share a prayer. I've prayed with my children from the first day. I learned to pray God's word over them, and I didn't share it with them when they were young, but I did as they grew up for both of them to grow in wisdom and stature and favor with God and man from Luke 2:52, and to become people known for their character, integrity, honesty, and a good name.
WENDY:
And I didn't just pray 'em one time. They were prayers that I prayed and I kept praying, that's the most important step. Keep praying. And then I continued to pray them through the years, but equally as important, when they got older, I shared that I was praying this over them. And when I saw a good report card, I heard compliments. They received or saw good choices they made.
WENDY:
We Monte and I reminded them that we had been praying over this. This is God giving you the character we've been praying for. And I remind them still today, they're 28 and 32 years old when I see things happen in their jobs or my son as he is um, volunteer coaching basketball and I see him with these young men.
WENDY:
He is living out what his daddy and I prayed for him. And there is nothing more beautiful than that are my children. Perfect. No, but. We just watch God at work and they're praying now. And so you can use this method too to pray for your husband, your friends, your family, and anyone else you love and feel led to pray for.
WENDY:
And two more thoughts when they're old enough. Um, well actually as a baby, I gave them both a life first that I prayed over them and Monty prayed over them. And then as they grew older, we gave them a second one. Let them see you praying that, let them know what it is. I encourage them to memorize those verses.
WENDY:
And my son is such a smart young man. He wanted, both my children love tattoos, so I have none, but, but Bo. Wanted to get his first tattoo, and it was like, oh, I thought Lauren was the only one. But what do you think he chose, not only did he choose his life, verse Joshua 1:9, but he asked me to put the, it it, not the whole verse, but the, the whatever, however he did it in, in my handwriting.
WENDY:
The Jo. The Jo, just the Joshua 1:9 and Monica's, you are so smart. So, um, and then also just help them memorize. God's word in their heart. So like I placed a memory verse plate in our kitchen, and as a family we memorized a verse, um, every few weeks. And that was one thing we did. And then we, um, when we pray for our children and our family when we do this, I guess when I would say Meredith and um, Kaley is we just are joining God in the work he's already doing in their lives. And so when it comes to praying for people we love and care for, praying God's word over and into their lives also builds our faith and our prayer life as we see him at work. So friends, as I close today with this word boldly and confidently just, um. Pray for your children. And when we do this, you're praying, remember, you're praying both the mind and the will of God as revealed in his living in active words, into your prayers and into their lives.
KALEY:
Hmm. That is so good. I mean, so rich.
MEREDITH:
Mm-hmm.
KALEY:
And practical, but honestly convicting and how I over. Maybe I almost feel this pressure as a mom who loves the Lord to do it perfectly. And I wonder if sometimes that's kind of like, what, what holds me back? 'cause I know I have a relationship with the Lord. My kids don't quite yet, and they don't have the full context. And sometimes it is so dang complicated to try to like teach them scripture when I'm like, you have no idea what this story is about. You don't know any of that.
MEREDITH:
Oh gosh. Yeah.
KALEY:
You know? Um, but one of the, I think Wendy, what you're kind of helping me do is see how I can use. Car rides in the morning as an opportunity to take kind of like this, I'll call it a mantra. Okay. 'cause Hughes is little and I'm trying to speak things into who he is before he gets out of the car. Every day we say, I am loved. I am brave. I am kind. I listen. Lord have mercy. I obey help and help me. I lead the way. I will have a good day. And I say that and he knows it. And it's so cute how he is. I, I'll go, I am. And he goes, I'm love. I'm brave. Yeah. And he is so cute. He doesn't say, I lead the way. He says, I leave the way because he is four and he doesn't quite get it yet.
KALEY:
But you are helping me see how I could take. I am loved and go to love in the Bible and use that and to more of like a, like a prayer for him, but also helping it weave into him speaking scripture over his life.
KALEY:
But one thing that I wanted to ask is that, is that, a lot of the verses, but not everyone was kind of, I would say a little bit. You use a lot of verses from the New Testament and some from the Old Testament, but I know there's this, there's a difference between what is a principle of the Lord versus what is a promise. And I know for some people listening, they might be going, am I allowed to pray anything from scripture? Or how do I maybe take something that God said to Abraham or God said to Moses and he said it specifically to Moses, but if I wanna say it to my kid, how would you do that?
WEDNY:
Um, okay, so what you're saying is very true. But I think when it comes to the, what we're talking about mm-hmm. The, the, the parts about character. Okay. I am loved.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
WENDY:
I am strong. I am, that's why I gave like that Joshua 1:9 about being strong and courageous.
KALEY:
Yeah.
WENDY:
There, there are, there are verses that do that. It's really hard in this setting right here to sort of give you the theology behind that. But I think if you, if you can stick to the promises that. Um, that speak more to who we are as people. That doesn't change. We are, we all have the, that character. I, I'm trying, just trying to think of the ones I was just talking about, praying.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
WENDY:
But those, all the things you did, you can pull some verses. I am loved, I am, I'm,
KALEY:
I'm brave.
WENDY: Yeah. I am brave. All those words. I don't think you're gonna come into conflict with that.
KALEY:
Okay.
WENDY:
But if you do, if you have a question about it, come to us at Proverbs 31 Ministries.
KALEY:
Yeah.
WENDY:
'cause we have a theology team. You can ask us a question, send it in. Yeah. And Eric or Wendy will answer it for you.
KALEY:
Yeah.
WENDY:
And that's what we're here for. So it's a really good point. But it's awfully hard right now for us.
KALEY:
Yeah.
WENDY:
To, and if you have anything Meredith to add, but it's, it's really hard in that amount of time. And I think with the kind of prayers that we're praying, speaking more to who our child is and who the Lord wants them to be.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
WENDY:
I think will naturally tense towards those things about being honest.
MEREDITH:
And I think it's a good filter is to think about God and ourselves. Okay. There are principles of Char, God's character that translate from the Old Testament to the New Testament. They don't change, you know, he is compassionate, he is loving, he's all knowing all those names of God that, you know, remain the same from the Old Testament to the New Testament.
MEREDITH:
From the Old Testament to the New Testament, God's design for mankind does not change. His desire for him to be, for you to be like him, created in his image, do not change. So those principles are the same. Where we get tripped up mm-hmm. Is when we zero in on a specific promise to a specific person at a specific time in scripture
MEREDITH: So let's, I'm gonna try to pull one out thin air, but let's say God promised to defeat a specific army in a specific way, for a group of individuals in the Old Testament. That was a promise for those people at that time. You know, now in that scenario is. What do we know about God?
KALEY:
The character of God doesn't change.
KALEY:
That he's a warrior.
MEREDITH:
Yeah. That he will go before you.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm. That he will fight for you. Those are the character specifics of God that you can hold on in that particular passage of scripture. But what you can't hold onto is you're gonna win this battle this way for me. God. Yeah. 'cause that's, that's that. It's a misapplication of scripture.
KALEY:
Yeah.
WENDY:
And a lot of times, like when we talk about, um, oh, there, there's a verse in the Old Testament that everyone always, that everyone always talks about, and it was a promise made to the Israelites while they were in captivity.
KALEY:
Is it Jeremiah 29:11?
WENDY:
Yes. 29:11. Yes. So you have Jeremiah 29:11. But here's the cool thing. That promise though, made to them carries forward because of what Jesus did for us. So we're, that's a little more theology. So there are times when it was made directly to them, but because of what Jesus has done and the promises that Jesus made, they can carry forward to us.
WENDY:
That's why I say prayerfully go before the Lord and pray for your verses. I wouldn't just kind of open up, although God does that too, sometimes you open up and he speak. I don't wanna say don't do that.
KALEY:
Yeah.
WENDY:
But once again, honestly, if you have a question, please reach out to us. We love to help equip you all. To do the things you learn and where at whatever space you gr you meet us in. We want to clarify if we can.
KALEY:
Yeah. I think but that's so good. Even to just remind myself to not start with what God can do. Start with who God is. So like with the character of God being like transcendent upon time you can, you can focus on his faithfulness to go before his people. And God, you're faithful. It's not about what you did, but it's about reminding us of your faithfulness. And so no matter what, yeah. Even if it is about, you know, Joshua 1:9 that you prayed over your kid, or God, we know that you're the God of peace, therefore I don't have to be anxious.
KALEY:
It's just helpful to start with that context, and I think that what you're saying is that that's a good filter to use.
MEREDITH:
Yeah.
KALEY:
That's great.
MEREDITH:
Kaley, I love that you brought that up because honestly that's what I was, I was sitting here reflecting. As Wendy was teaching about, um, well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna rewind to a conversation we had a few months ago, Wendy, before I jump into that, that one of my kiddos who will remain anonymous, um, was wrestling through something that was very hard for me to watch like, and I wanted to intervene and it was creating a lot of tension, um, and rising, uh, emotions and all that kind of stuff. And you and I had a conversation and we prayed together and you prayed for this kiddo, and I prayed for this kiddo. And in that process of all of that, the Lord revealed some things about myself during that season.
MEREDITH:
And as I was sitting here, I was reflecting on that because you are talking through the process for you with your daughter that I don't want our listeners to miss, which is really hard 'cause I want to miss it, which is you asked, you started with asking, Lord, show me my heart. Where oftentimes I, and I'm looking, I, I was reflecting on the situation with my kiddo while you were teaching and I was in the place where I wanted a behavior modification and that's what I was praying for specifically.
KALEY:
Yeah.
MEREDITH:
And. I don't think that that's wrong. Because what I wanted to happen, I do believe like is, was a good thing and a good thing for this child. But in the process I recognized that I was trying to create a result. And in so trying to create a result, my heart had drifted from surrender, and trust of the Lord and entrusting my child to God's like goodness to me, going back to his character, Kaley God's, God's love for my child, more than my love mm-hmm. For that child, you know, and I just, I don't want our listeners to, to miss that.
KALEY:
Yeah.
MEREDITH:
That parenthood prayer is God's process of not just creating an outcome but sanctifying us. You know, and changing our hearts, and changing our, our children's hearts, not just creating an outcome. And so I wanted to ask you a question, Wendy. 'cause as I was sitting here in that moment. You and I were talking, it's been a couple months now, I think. Um, I felt very, it was very intense 'cause I had just come from what I would call the altercation, um, and was just like, I don't know what to do and this feels very out of control and I am very afraid of where this is gonna lead and I don't know what to do. And you know, now looking back a few months, I'm like, God is so good. He knew long before I did that this, this child would. Engage in this and I, you know, all of that.
WENDY:
Speak to the moment of crisis, Wendy. Because we all have 'em. As, as parents, when maybe we make a discovery or maybe, you know, you do have a huge blow up with your child and you say things that you didn't mean, or because there's very, at least in my experience, there's a real difference between a moment of crisis where I'm praying what I would call maybe a maintenance prayer.
KALEY:
Yeah. Oh yeah.
MEREDITH:
Where we're just praying that life verse over them. We're praying for their character. And then there's these moments that just so feel so visceral. You're like, I don't know how I'm gonna get out of this.
WENDY:
Yeah. No. Um, I remember the moment, um, when she was in a room and we had this huge moment that you're talking about. And I remember just spewing my words and she just looked at me and she said. You don't think I do anything right? You don't do you just it, the words, she spoke back to me. I, they penetrated in a place that nothing had ever gone before. And I remember just looking at her and saying, I'm gonna walk out now so we stopped saying these things, but in reality, I needed those words spoken to me because that's what made me go in my room. Shut the door, lay on the floor, which I have never done before and sob. And I got up on my bed and I opened my Bible. And it isn't that he took me to some magic words. I just opened that Bible and I held it.
WENDY:
It was the one my grandmother gave me when I graduated from college. It had taken me through so many hard places in my life, and it's like holding it with all the little notes and dates of things and highlights and names, and it's like he just said. I was there with you before, and I'll be there with you. I'm so sorry. I will be there with you now, but I need you to humble yourself and look at you first. Wendy and I did, and that's when I went. It wasn't the same day, but within a few days, I sat with her in her room. I cried. She cried. It was so sweet.
WENDY:
It wasn't magic. It was a long time, but because we started to do it together and, and she wasn't super into it right away, I'm just gonna say that she was obedient to me because she saw something in me that I think she knew she did you know in her mind, okay, mom finally gets me, or mm-hmm. She's so strong-willed and she's so bright and, um, but, but what I wanna say is it wasn't overnight, but by the time that she was probably in seventh grade, maybe at this time. And, um, I can remember when Forest I went, the church I went to here, they asked me to, um.
WENDY:
A friend of mine was the women's ministry leader there, and she said, Wendy, I know this journey you've taken with Lauren. We would love for you to give a Mother's Day testimony. And I said, no, no, because we're still in process. It's come a long way, but I can't do that. She goes, it's just about a three minute little video, and I don't want you to say it's all better. I want you to tell the truth. I want you to say it. And so I, I asked Lauren and um. Sweet, Bo was so young, he just really didn't know what was going on. But, um, but I asked Lauren and she looked at me and she said, mom, you have to do this. And, and I go, what do you mean I have to? She goes, you just don't yell at me anymore.
WENDY:
And I realized that that's what I spent all my time doing. I never sat, I never built her up, even though I was so proud of her. And I loved her, but her behavior overtook me. And so that's that moment Meredith. I don't know what it will be for someone, but what I want you to hear me say is sometimes it's hard to look at yourself, look back from once you came.
I learned as I looked back, talking to other people in my family, this went back not just with one generation. So sometimes we're breaking something that wasn't our parents' fault. It's what they knew and it's what they knew. And how wonderful is it that we get to break it?
MEREDITH:
Praise God.
WENDY:
And we get to change families for generations to come. All because we are daughters of the one true God. And we know we have something greater and bigger inside of us. That can change generations forever.
MEREDITH:
Yeah, so good, good grief.
KALEY:
Yeah. Well, and it's like, and I'm glad that you asked that question, Meredith, because as a ministry, we're not people who are polished and have it perfectly together.
MEREDITH:
Oh, goodness.
KALEY:
And I know that that is like the biggest turnoff to our kids, to other women, is to look and be like, oh, I've got it all together. Right. I could never do that. And that's just not true. Right. So I'm glad that you asked that question, and Wendy, I'm grateful. That we got to learn from you. Thank you for sharing. Yeah. And being vulnerable and for helping us see that your process of sanctification, like God used your daughter in it and y'all walked through it together and you built trust. And I think the Lord used that moment where you were broken in front of your daughter. Hmm. And God worked and rebuilt that in you and Lauren got to see that. And Lauren, I wanna make assumptions, but maybe that helped her trust the Lord a little bit more to see that you're not. You don't have it all together as a mom. She doesn't have to arrive. God is just so much working on you as he is her.
KALEY:
So this was so necessary for me and for our listeners today because it is gonna equip us to fight against what the enemy wants, which is to keep us stuck in perfection, or maybe not having the words to pray. And so I really believe that women are gonna be set free after today, and that this can be the catalyst for change and friends.
KALEY:
Wendy mentioned different ways that you can pray for your kids. There's a resource we have at Proverbs 31 Ministries. I think it's titled 15 Prayers to Pray Over Your Son or Daughter. I'm gonna link it in the show notes that could be helpful for you to get started. Um, and you can download it below. But Meredith, I think we have one more thing.
MEREDITH:
Yeah. And as you fight for your family through prayer, 'cause that's what we're doing as we are fighting on behalf of our children, our spouses, our nieces, our nephews, our grandchildren. Um, I also wanna invite you to go check out our latest therapy and theology series called Fight for Your Family. Mm-hmm. If you long to strengthen your marriage, build deeper family relationships, or parent with greater intentionality in today's crazy world. I encourage you. Go check out this new season.
MEREDITH:
In all six episodes, you'll discover even more about how prayer strengthens your faith and relationships. You've got to check out that most recent series. You can listen to Therapy and Theology on any podcast platform, or check out the videos on the Proverbs 31 Ministries YouTube channel.
KALEY:
All right, that's all for today, friends. At Proverbs 31 Ministries. We believe when you know the truth and live the truth, it changes everything.