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In this episode learn the importance of not just goal setting, but visiting your goals and reestablishing the boundaries needed to maintain your momentum as you move along your success journey. Only through setting, and evaluating Key Performance Indicators can you be sure you are moving towards your goals. By identifying and reducing barriers to success in a timely manner you can ensure you learn from mistakes, and accelerate your success. This is a must listen to episode.
Welcome to Jessie's World - a weekly variety show that takes us through Jessie's Wheel of Life including Community, Fun, Health & Wellness, Entrepreneurship, Relationships, and Personal Development. Each segment brings a different flavor, making it interesting and engaging. The host Jessica Lambert aka @jessicavibez keeps it conversational and weaves humor though light and heavier topics. Special guests come from all walks of life and may surprise you. The ultimate goal of the show is to entertain, inspire, uplift, and assist us all (host included) in becoming our best selves. You get new, entertainment, wellness, and inspiration all in one great show.
Segments Include:
Tessy Time (Community) - real talks about current societal issues.
Mrs. Write (Fun) - a freestyle on-air comical writing segment where computer generated prompts are turned into master poems, songs, and short stories right on the spot.
Big Boss Vibez (Career Health) - let's talk all things entrepreneurship and bring our businesses to new heights
Today's Topic (and sometimes - Guest) - This segment covers a variety of topics that are aimed at peeking curiosity, inspiring, motivating, supporting, and most of all assisting listeners in becoming their best selves.
Gods N Goddesses (Health and Wellness) - travel inwards to center yourself. Let's focus on the personal care and wellness items that will help ensure you maximize your quality of life. A peer learning and sharing segment we grow together.
Love, Fam, N Family (Relationships) - let's share stories of human impact and the importance of leading with love.
Quote of the day.
Affirmation
Outro.
Listener interaction is encouraged. If you have show suggestions or would like to be a guest on our show you can send your request on Instagram @jessicavibez or @jessiesworldxo you may also visit www.platinumrouge.com/jessies-world
Jessie’s World Podcast – Episode 25, Re-Establishing Boundaries and Self Care
Hosted by Jessica Lambert – follow on Instagram @JessicaVibez
Jessie’s World is on Instagram @jessiesworldxo and our online community is www.jessiesworld.com
Re-Establishing Boundaries and Self Care – By Jessica Vibez
Intro (Jingle “do do do do do love and light, do do do do do love and light, do do do do do love and light, welcome to Jessie’s World, you’ll feel alright. By Jessica Lambert / Jessica Tha Goddess)
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INTRO
Thanks so much for tuning into episode 25 of Jessie’s World Podcast – where we are dedicated to helping people connect with, nurture, and grow their inner gifts; achieve self-empowerment, and enjoy a life of love, light, and authentic abundance. We inspire leadership and encourage legacy building that improves human lives and our world.
If you are upwardly mobile, a go getter, and committed to improving yourself and your life this is the podcast for you. I am your host Jessica Vibez with a Z, bringing you weekly episodes every Sunday and Wednesday to help accelerate your personal and professional development journey. Be sure to follow me on IG and tap into our live sessions where we interact and do some transformative work together right in the live.
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Before we get into our main topic, we of course have Tessy Time where my sassy alter ego takes over the podcast to pose thought provoking questions, raise social issues, and just plain rant – enjoy.
I have been reflecting on Black History Month and trauma.
As a parent, and as a BiRacial female I recently noticed the impact media reports have on my personal mental health. I imagine it is a modern version of publicly wiping a run away slave (or worse) to drive home the point that we better stay in line.
I know that these reports make me uncomfortable. They introduce a subconscious fear that impacts my day to day comfort, and when things are really bad they cause depression, anxiety, and isolation. I feel like no one is discussing or addressing the mental impact of pervasive systemic and socio economic issues that affect many North American Black people, and the impact of violence, no matter who is inflicting the violence, on our psyches.
I don’t know what the solution is, but I do believe that an open discussion, and a search for resources and answers, support and love, understanding and change is needed.
I also realize that you do not have to be Black to be impacted this, you could be the white parent of a Black child like my mother is, or you could be a human of any race and background that is empathetic, loving, and understands hurt and wants it to stop.
My personal mission is to create sources of love and light in the world and share that authentic energy with others. I do not come from a divisive perspective, how could I, after all I am both White and Black. I come from a perspective of empathy having felt the trauma response myself… I come from a loving internal longing for true change, and for support that facilitates healing on a deeper level that I personally have seen or experienced. If you have felt the same way DM me @JessicaVibez on Instagram and let’s start discussing solutions for a safer, happier, mentally healthier tomorrow – one love.
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Main Topic – Re-Establishing Boundaries and Self Care
Most people think of boundaries as a set it and forget it action they need at the beginning of their self-care journey. However, if you are anything like me, boundaries need constant re-evaluation, and re-setting.
Over time, people, places, and things will try and encroach on your boundaries. Trimming here, and slicing there, until you are no longer the focal point of your world. This is goal achievement suicide.
A compromise here and a re-schedule there can eventually turn into a void land of obscure dreams floating around with the tumble weeds of regret.
So, how to de ensure we keep our self-care journey on track, and ensure maximum wellness in all areas of our lives?
Worry not, help is on it’s way… SELF-HELP!
Yep, you allowed the displacement of your boundaries, and you are going to have to do the work to put them back together again…but I am happy to guide you.
Step 1 – KPIs, you know when people say “you are the CEO of your life…” THIS is what they are speaking about. In a company you work for, you would be called in periodically (weekly, monthly, bi-monthly, quarterly, semi-annually or even annually) to review your goals and corresponding KPIs (key performance indicators) and see how well you are doing at achieving your goals (and indicators) by the dates projected.
So, is the same for your life. I recommend doing weekly or monthly check-ins with yourself (depending on how long it takes to make traction in your specific goal areas). For example, let’s say you have the personal goal of loosing 5 pounds a month, that is a very easy KPI to measure and track, so month 1 you check and you only lost 3 pounds, you have enough time to reflect on what you have been doing and see where you can improve to get on track for the following month. On the other hand, if you wait for six months and find out you have gained 10 pounds well, you have lost half the year and are already behind in the game. Now you have to figure out WHY you gained instead of lost and instead of reflecting on a month or a week, you have a whole 6 months of potential issues to try and figure out – not an idea way to approach achieving success and living with excellence.
So if you have not already done so, jot down your top 3 goals this year for self-care, and for professional development. For example I want to launch my first online course, produce an additional podcast weekly, and hit the treadmill an hour a day.
Now next week if I didn’t hit the treadmill and hour every day I need to evaluate why. If my course isn’t published I need to identify what has stood in my way.
Which brings us to the next step.
2. Identify Roadblocks – even if you are hitting all your KPIs, this only means you can do better still. So, what is standing in the way of your doing even better?
For me, I know that I give a lot of time away to others. As an empath and a generally helpful person I can spend a lot of time being a good Samaritan and as nice as that is, it does not pay the bills.
I have also been known to spend a little too much time watching Love Island ( #TeamTimmy Timmy Swerve) and Real Housewives of Potomac (Hi Gizelle Bryant, Hi Robin Dixon, Love you Ashley Darby, What Up Karen Huger, Whaaa Gwan Moniqe Samuels xoxo) and while those shows are enjoyable… they definitely do NOT help me achieve the level of success I am working to create in my life sooo, what to do to stay on track?
Identify Roadblocks, then…limit them.
3. Limit Roadblocks to Success
Notice I said LIMIT your road blocks, whether that means cutting them out completely or just cutting them down is up to you, but when it comes to the art of time management and success, rule 1 is carve out time for YOU and YOUR GOALS at all costs.
An easy thing to cut out is too much Netflix and Chillin and more Taking Courses, Listening to Uplifting Podcasts like Jessies World, and actually working on YOU.
I do this be pulling out or limiting things that can pull my attention away from me. For example, I only watch Amazon Prime or Netflix when eating or after I completed my work for the day, and I try to keep it to one or a maximum of two episodes per day – this discipline is important.
I also move all my good Samaritan deeds to one or two days in the week, so that I am left with five good days to work on my business, my personal wellness, my personal branding and all of the important things that help uplift me.
4. Double Up on Tasks – I have learned that another great way to get the most of your day is doubling up on your tasks. Now, I watch some of my personal development courses and listen to uplifting podcasts while on the treadmill. I love doing this – it gives me a feeling of joy and pride knowing I am working on my physical and mental fitness at the same time. Mental health is so important so pay attention to your mental health and do not overwork, balance is key.
5. Start and Finish Your Day with You – if all else fails, make sure you begin your day and end your day with self care. I start my day with breathing meditations, on good days I will also do some yoga or walking, other days I may do some reading depending on mood. I also take the morning to set my intentions for the day so that when people come with their demands, I don’t mistakenly believe I have nothing else to do because I did not write my intentions for myself down.
I have learned if you do not plan your day, others will. When you plan your day it’s in favor of your goals, when other people plan your day it is favor of their goals. After years of letting other people hijack my days, I have learned how damaging that is to my life, my potential, and my realizing my callings here on earth, now I protect my days by planning them in the morning before anyone else is awake…and you should too.
I could offer more tips for re-establishing boundaries but for now, if you follow the steps I have outlined, you will be well on your way to forging ahead, almost uninterrupted towards realizing your goals and living a dream life of excellence. I believe in you, you can do it.
Remember you are worth it.
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Big Boss Vibez
When it comes to achieving business goals, carving out, and continuously monitoring and re-establishing your boundaries is critical to success.
If you are an entrepreneur, especially if you are a solo-preneur, people can sometimes mistake working for yourself as not working at all, or being more flexible and available to meet their needs, after all who do you have to answer to?
Make sure you are the strictest boss you will ever have, or trust me, you won’t be your boss for long.
Good deeds do not typically pay the bills, so balance your desire to help others, with your desire to help and build yourself.
Set work hours, get ready for work, and go to that place in your home and work every day, even if you do not know what you are doing, or think you have nothing to do. Sit there, watch paint dry, like you would if you were working for someone else, until the light turns on and you can hit the ground running. Invest in you, if you don’t who else will?
If someone asks you to do something – the answer is sure when I get off work.
Booking appointments – sure when I am off work or on my lunch break.
If you are going to be a big company someday set boundaries like you are already one today.
I guarantee this level of discipline will pay off.
As your organization grows and you add people, you again will need to re-adjust your boundaries. Always keep an eye on the relationships between your boundaries, productivity, KPIs and achievement of key performance indicators and goals within the timelines set. This will help you maintain a healthy perspective on what you need to do when, and how self-protective you need to be in order to ensure your business becomes the multi-billion-dollar corporation you have been dreaming of.
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Whether your goal is personal, professional, or both I know that continuous monitoring and re-setting of boundaries will help you achieve a healthy work/life balance and help you stay on the fast track to success.
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As we wind down, I want to take you through a short breathing and visualization technique to help you establish firm boundaries and set your mind on success.
Visualize and Name Your Limits
Openly Communicate Your Boundaries
Get Comfortable with Saying No
Take Time for Yourself – and imagine luxury ways to indulge in self-care
• Buy a massage tool and give yourself a massage with your favorite scented cream or oil I love vanilla
• Hot Shower
• Yoga or Stretching
• Walk
• Emotional Visualization
• Something Creative (i.e. creative writing)
• Have Fun (dance, swim, karaoke, lives, family time, hang with friends, social interaction, touch)
Whatever gives you pleasure, relaxes your nervous system, schedule regular time with you. Some things, like a massage with a masseuse may be weekly or even biweekly, however deep breathing should be done every morning and night, and stretching or yoga during your mid-day break. A home spa day can happen every Sunday, hot shower, aroma therapy, self massage, some Jonny Gill or Baby Face or Luther playing I mean baby baby baby now that is establishing very blessed boundaries.
Hit me up @JessicaVibez on IG and let me know how you indulge in luxury self care and let’s remember to keep ourselves first xo.
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OUTRO
Thank you so much for tuning into Episode 25 of Jessie’s World Podcast where we chatted about Re-Establishing Boundaries and the impact this simple practice will have on your overall wellness and self-care journey. Tune in every Sunday for more informative and transformative episodes about personal and professional development with your host Jessica Vibez.
Follow our podcast on Instagram @jessiesworldxo and follow me, your host Jessica Vibez on Instagram at Jessica Vibez with a Z.
This episode was sponsored in part by our parent company Platinum Rouge – check out platinumrouge.com - we create and share stories and transformative experiences.
Until next week remember to re-establish your boundaries so you have adequate time to work on your goals and manifest your dreams.
Do do do do do love and light, do do do do do love and light!